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The Devastating Truth About The Future of Jobs & What You Can Do About It with Jeff Wald

November 26, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this episode, we discuss the surprising future of work, the truth about robots, automation, and jobs, and how you can best position yourself for a successful career within the future of work with our guest Jeff Wald. 

Jeff Wald is a serial entrepreneur and the Founder of WorkMarket and Spinback, as well as several other businesses, and has exited companies to ADP and Salesforce. He is an expert on labor and the future of work, and the author of The End of Jobs: The Rise of On-Demand Workers and Agile Corporations. Jeff is also an angel investor and startup advisor and serves on numerous public and private Boards of Directors.

  • Work has always been changing and evolving.

  • Today, the number of hours worked continues to decrease across the globe.. in conjunction with an increase in our standard of living.

  • 2019 was the best year to be alive as a human, bar none. It was the best year ever for humanity. Covid is likely a statistical blip.

  • There are 17mm robots on the planet today. Robots are dumb, clumsy, and expensive. Robots and AI will certainly displace a VERY large number of jobs, the data tells you when you analyze job function by function, over 700 job functions, 10-15% of jobs over the next 20 years or so, will slowly go away.

  • More jobs will be created than we lose over the next 20 years

  • The big challenge is not the jobs that will leave, the challenge is retraining

  • The five most dangerous words in business are “this time it’s different.”

  • What is the “labor equation” and how does it impact the decision-making of companies hiring and staffing jobs in a world of disruptive technological change?

  • How ATMs transformed the banking industry in a way that you would not at all expect.

  • What are co-bot jobs and how do they shape work?

  • How does on-demand labor factor into the future of work?

  • On-demand labor has been a part of the economy for a long time

  • The mistaken myth of lifetime employment - it was a notion, not a reality.

  • In 2020 the average worker spends 4.2 years in a job. In 1960 at the height of the “golden age of lifetime employment” was 5 years.

  • The labor market moves very slowly and the changes take place very slowly over time.

  • How do we deal with the challenge of retraining our labor force?

    • Who owns this problem?

      • Individual workers?

      • Companies?

      • Schools?

      • Societies?

      • Technology?

  • 25 million workers in the US are going to have their jobs disrupted over the next 20-25 years.

    • To get a sense of this disruption, look at the manufacturing industry which has lost around 8mm jobs since 1980

  • What should we do to stay nimble, keep our jobs, and succeed in this future of work?

  • You MUST be a lifelong learner to succeed in the future work world.

  • Skill used to be useful in the workplace for 30 years, today it's 4-6 years before a skill is rendered obsolete.

  • Several shocking predictions about the future of work for the next 20 years.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Jeff’s LinkedIn and Twitter

  • SpinBack

  • WorkMarket

Media

  • Thrive Global - “Why You Need a Culture Document…NOW!” by Jeff Wald

  • WorkMarket Blog - “WorkMarket Co-Founder Jeff Wald Named to 2017 SIA “Staffing 100””

  • Forbes - “This Is How To Be A Fortune-Teller About The Future Of Work” by Manon DeFelice

  • Cision PR Web - Jeff Wald, Founder of WorkMarket & Author of The End of Jobs, Announces the $10 Million Future of Work Prize

  • Article Directory on Entrepreneur 

  • Crunchbase Profile - Jeffrey Wald

  • Bloomberg Profile - Jeffrey Wald 

  • Bizjournals .com - On heels of shaking Ackman campaign, ADP purchases N.Y.C. startup

  • [Podcast] Leverage Podcast - Predicting the Future of Work

  • [Podcast] Sophie Wade - ON-DEMAND VS REMOTE WORKERS: REGULATION, OPPORTUNITIES, & SKILLS

  • [Podcast] HRChat - #188: The Future of Jobs, AI and The HR Function w/ Jeff Wald, WorkMarket

  • [Podcast] Ambition Today - Bringing Back Jeff Wald To Discuss The End Of Jobs

  • [Podcast] Area Method - The End of Jobs? A Podcast With Workplace Expert Jeff Wald

Videos

  • Jeff’s YouTube Channel

  • The POZcast - #thePOZcast w/ Jeff Wald: The REAL Future of Work

  • A Small World - ASW Webinar Series with Jeff Wald

  • Peter Clayton - Jeff Wald, Co-Founder WorkMarket, The Future of Work Series

  • Silicon Alley Podcast - The Side Of Startups We Don't Talk About | Jeff Wald Serial Entrepreneur, Investor & Author | Ep 31

  • 33 Voices - Episode 948 | The Rise of the Freelance Economy with Jeff Wald Co-Founder of Work Market

  • Kevin Siskar - Ambition Today #8: Jeff Wald of Work Market talks Harvard, NYPD, Venture Capital, Startups & Mentors

Books

  • The End of Jobs: The Rise of On-Demand Workers and Agile Corporations  by Jeff Wald

  • THE BIRTHDAY RULES: CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS TO HAVE WITH YOUR CHILDREN (AGES 6 TO 16) By Dr. Rachel Marsh and Jeff Wald

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 


[00:00:19] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with more than 5 million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. In this episode we discuss the surprising future of work, the truth about robots, automation and jobs and how you can best position yourself for a successful career within the future of work with our guest, Jeff Wald.


Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our email list. We have some amazing content on there along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time For What Matters Most in Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com, you can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com. Or if you’re on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word SMARTER to the number 44222.


In our previous episode we explored how a jack-of-all-trades can still reach the top with former sonic CEO, Clifford Hudson. 


Now for our interview with Jeff. Jeff Wald is a serial entrepreneur and founder of WorkMarket and Spinback as well as several other companies and has exited businesses to ADP and Salesforce. He's an expert on labor and the future of work and the author of The End of Hobs: The Rise of On-Demand Workers and Agile Corporations. Jeff's also an angel investor, startup advisor and serves on the board of numerous public and private companies. 


[00:02:00] MB: Jeff, welcome to the Science of Success.


[00:02:01] JW: Hey, Matt. Thank you so much for having me. Super excited to be here.


[00:02:05] MB: Well, we're really excited to have you on the show. And the topics that you discuss and write about are so interesting and so relevant today. And so I want to go all the way back and put a little bit of context in here. Tell me about the history of work and how our working lives have really evolved over the last years and even decades, if not beyond that, and how that kind of gets us to where we are today.


[00:02:30] JW: Sure. Well, look. That is one of the main points of the book is to study history and understand what have workers, companies in society done when faced with some of the challenges we're faced with today? And when I talk about challenges today, I’m talking specifically about robots and AI and what kind of job displacement there's going to be from this huge step function, change in technology. 


One of the things that we learn about the way people work is that over time there have been some very clear and consistent patterns around people working fewer and fewer hours. And you can go back 200 years on this. 200 years ago people used to work 3,000 hours. Now people have in their minds, “Oh, people work 2,000 hours a year.” But actually the data would tell us that the average American works 1,780 hours. The average German works about 1,500 hours. The average person in France works 1,450 hours a year. So it has been even over the last 30 to 40 years when we kind of hit that 2,000 mark. A very slow and steady decline in the number of hours.


One of the other things that we see is a slow and steady increase in standards of living. So those are very good patterns and things to take that step back and think, “Well, in historic context, yeah, we might be going through a very rough patch right now with COVID.” But historically workers are in a much, much, much better position than they have ever been.


[00:03:55] MB: That's such a great insight, and it's fascinating once you start to put things into context historically to really see these big trends. I'd heard the 2,000 hours, but I didn't even know about the fact that if you really drill down into that, we're not even there. We're slowly – And it depends obviously by the society, but we're slowly starting to erode that down to 1,700, 1,500 hours and in conjunction with an increase in our standard of living. It's really interesting.


[00:04:22] JW: It is, and it's not something people think about especially because what defines a working hour these days is the fact that I’m returning emails at 10PM. Does that mean I’m still on the clock? In some ways it does. But then I'd also have to subtract the hours during my day where I’m on social media or chatting with friends or things like that. So it does all balance out and the data would tell us that there is a very slow and steady decrease in the number of hours that people need to work to get an increasingly higher standard of living. And that is the good thing in the context of history and how data has moved.


[00:04:56] MB: It's so interesting too, and you touched on something a second ago that to me is really a cornerstone of the perspective that I have when I think about where we are today in the world. And this is this idea that if you really look at it, if you watch the news, you definitely wouldn't think this. But if you really look at the data, we're on average, as a global society, especially as Americans, we are happier – Well maybe not happier, but we're healthier. We're physically safer. We have higher standard of living. It's really the best possible time to be alive, and yet it's so easy to lose sight of that in all of the headlines and the drama and everything that you see around the world.


[00:05:39] JW: Well, we'll see what the data says about 2020, because 2020 has been a little bit of a hot mess in a hundred different contexts. But you are 100 correct, right? When we looked at 2019, 2019 was the best year to be alive in the history of humanity bar none, right? You are safer.  You are healthier. You have access to more things. It was without question the best year for humanity. We were living longer and people were wealthier all the other things. COVID massively, massively changed that. Now we'll hope that it was a statistical blip. But right now we have people that life expectancies are decreasing in some parts of the world. We've seen a huge number of people fall back into poverty because of COVID. And so these are scary things, but we will hope that once a vaccine gets here and we kind of get back to a “normal”, we'll hope that that very clear pattern through human history of people getting ever safer, ever healthier, ever more content, ever wealthier continues. And I see no reason to think that it will not.


[00:06:45] MB: And I tend to agree. I mean obviously in any trajectory of history, whether you're looking at everything from the evolution of societies all the way down to stock prices or really most trends, nothing is a straight line curve up into the right. It's often there's ups, there's downs, but the arrow of society, the arrow of history is really clearly pointing and driving us in one direction.


[00:07:08] JW: You are right. Those trend lines are clear. Yeah, there are ups and downs, but the trend lines are clear. But to your point earlier, it's very difficult to remember that when you're stuck in a situation when there's obviously – It's very difficult to remember that given a pandemic raging around the globe. But it is important to remember that from a data standpoint, things are pretty good outside of the pandemic. And then hopefully post-pandemic we’ll get back to those trends.


[00:07:37] MB: And obviously COVID is a very important fact in evaluating where we are today in the world. But putting that aside a little bit and coming back to this broader question, you've spent a tremendous amount of time looking at the nature of work, the history of work. Tell me about – We've been on this path of increasing standard of living, increasing the quality of our lives and working fewer hours. Where do we go from here? And I mean I know a lot of people, me included, have a lot of concerns about the robots taking our jobs for lack of a better term or AI massively displacing whole industries worth of people and we're already seeing that in a lot of contexts. So how did we get there and where are we going to go from here?


[00:08:19] JW: Well, look, the robots while they're getting cheaper and more dexterous and smarter and people then think, “Oh, well, they're going to permeate more industries.” Let's use some data here on robots. There are about 17 million robots on the planet today. About 15 million of them are vacuum cleaners. There are 2.1 million industrial robots in factories around the world, and that factory population is growing 10% to 15% a year. And while robots are getting smarter and more dexterous and cheaper, it's important to remember that robots remain incredibly dumb, incredibly clumsy and incredibly expensive. So the idea that robots are going to suddenly be in our home or in industries other than heavier light manufacturing, there's just not a lot of data to support it. 


What there is data to support is that while robots – Well, certainly robots and AI, will certainly displace a number of jobs, a very large number of jobs. The data would tell us when we actually analyze job function by job function. And then the component tasks within each job function over 700 plus job functions. We see that about 10% to 15% of jobs over the next 20 years will slowly go away. But we also see that over that same period of time more jobs will be created. And so there is no reason to think that this will evolve any different than any other technological stuff function we've seen in the history of work. Where at first they're doomsayers and was like, “Oh my gosh! All the jobs are going to go.” And then eventually slowly over time jobs do go, and slowly over time more jobs are created in either other industries or in other functions. And the big challenge, Matt, the big challenge is not jobs that leave. The big challenge is taking workers from the jobs that leave and retraining them to the jobs that are growing. That's actually always been the big challenge in history, and it's a challenge that society has not risen to and not done a good job of. So that to me is my big concern point over the next 20 years, is how do we retrain those workers. In the United States, it might be upwards of 25 million workers because there will be plenty of jobs. They just won't be jobs in maybe the regions, maybe the skills that they have, but we can help them and we should.


[00:10:40] MB: I definitely want to get into retraining. And as a society, how we address that challenge? Because that is really one of the biggest macro trends that I think as a society we need to be thinking about. But before we do, tell me more about this, the argument, the logic, maybe even some of the data around this idea that technology ultimately creates more jobs than it destroys. And I know that they're not the same job certainly and that gets back to the idea of retraining. But tell me more. I mean everyone's heard the example of horse and buggies goes to auto manufacturing, etc. But is there a point where that starts to break down if AI, for example, can take over huge swaths of decision making and analysis that previously required humans?


[00:11:29] JW: So the answer to the question is maybe, right? It may well be different this time. I will tell you that one of the first things you'll learn at business school is the five most dangerous words of business is this time it is different. Things are usually not different, but there are substantive reasons to think that things might be different. It's one thing to go from hand power and making clothing to using a spinning jenny and a weaving loom to take cotton or other fabrics and turn them into yarn and turn them into clothes. It's quite another for an AI system to look through trillions of records in six seconds. And so maybe the productivity increases are so great that it will displace more jobs. It is certainly possible. It is certainly possible that change will happen faster. 


When you talk about the advent to stick with that first industrial revolution, mechanization, the advent of those technologies it wasn't like, “Oh, well, now that there's a spinning jenny and a weaving loom, everyone that's making cloth band immediately. Stop, because we're going to immediately flip into this or at least do it over 10 years.” AI systems can be updated. If Apple comes out with a Siri update on our phones, it can be on a 1.5 billion devices overnight. Overnight! They can put some new AI system that does all kinds of things and eliminates my need to do maybe a host of things myself or employ people to do them.


So certainly the speed could be different. The scope of productivity increases could be different, but we just don't have enough data on that. Here's what we do have data on, and that's on the job losses, because that's the first area that people are like, “Oh, how do you know it's 10% to 15%? “First off, we don't know anything. I mean we're taking our best guesses based on data. But what we do is we look at 700 different job functions. We look at the component tasks of those job functions. And if the component asks a repetitive high volume task, the same task over and over again and it happens a lot, then we know that history would teach us that that job eventually goes away if 75% to 100% of the component tasks in a job function are those repetitive high volume tasks. Okay. How many jobs is that true for? How many jobs is it true for 50% to 75% of their component tasks or repetitive high volume tasks? Because there we would see about half the jobs in that industry go. We see what are known as cobots, the idea that the robot or AI system does the repetitive high volume task and the human is able to repurpose and do other things, but you certainly need fewer humans to do the task.


And then there are jobs that are zero to 50% of their component tasks are repetitive high volume tasks and history would tell us that those almost never go. Those jobs are almost entirely repurposed. All people co-botting and using robots that do whatever repetitive high volume tasks they have. That data would tell us when we look at job function by job function, again, over 700 plus job functions and how many people are employed in that job function? That math just yields 10% to 15%. 


Now to your point of how do we know the 10% to 15% that are going to grow, the short answer is we look at job functions and what our relative economic activity is within those job functions and we're making very broad guesses. So it is entirely possible that whether it's the speed of the change or the productivity increases in the change or the global nature of the change, by the way, because that is another big difference between this revolution and others. The first industrial revolution started in Cromford, England and it took 100 years for it to get to the textile mills in Lowell, Massachusetts. 


Here, again, Apple will update its iPhone and people in Gujarat and people in Shanghai and people in Indianapolis will all get the update at the same time. So long-winded answer in kind of saying history tells us some things, but other things we just don't know. We have our best guesses.


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[00:17:14] MB: Tell me a little bit about how the concept of the labor equation factors into the impact of these changes on how corporations hire and how jobs are created.


[00:17:26] JW: That is a great question, one I think that very few people understand. So for those that haven't had the chance to read the book yet, the labor equation is a series of math equations that actually I put up on the windows in my office. I got all beautiful mind on this. And just as a funny side note, the person that actually taught me calculus, because these are a system of equations involving calculus, walked in and she kind of looked at all the windows and she looked back at me. She looked at the windows again and she said, “What the hell is this?” I was like, “Oh, it's a system of equations.” She's like, “This is gibberish. This isn't anything.” I said, “What do you mean? They're limit functions and derivatives.” She's like, “You don't remember anything I taught you. None of this is correct.” 


And so she helped me fix it. That woman by the way is my mother, who was the person that taught me calculus. She's a calculus professor. So that labor equation is the very complex series of equations around a host of variables that involve what is known as labor resource planning. A lot of people think that this is how labor's resource planning meetings go. They think people walk in and say, “All right, so we got to labor. What should we do? Cheapest stores? Yep. Okay. Cool. Meeting adjourned. Let's go.” That's not how companies actually engage workers. That's not how they do complex resource planning. It is very, very complicated involving tons of variables, one of which by the way is cost, and it's a very important one. But to pretend it's the only one and to make any conclusions on the future of work thinking, “Oh, well. All companies do is go to the cheapest labor source,” is just incorrect.


And so whenever I tell people be wary of any prediction of the future of work, that doesn't incorporate these three pieces of evidence. One is the history of work. One is the data around the world of work. And the third is how companies actually engage workers. Anyone making predictions to future work outside of this, what I call the labor equation, I would just question their conclusions, because they really aren't having conversations with the CHROs and C-suite, men and women that are making these decisions. 


[00:19:28] MB: Give me a little bit more insight into some of the other variables other than costs that go into this labor resource planning perspective.


[00:19:37] JW: Sure. Well we have ramp up time. How long does it take to get somebody trained up to do that job? How long will the job last? If the job is very short in duration, then I really don't want to spend a huge amount of money on it. Cost becomes more important variable. How much intellectual property is involved? How many you know trade secrets is this person going to know? What are the touch points to the other part of the organization? Is it something that involves a lot of co-dependencies on other parts of the org? Therefore we need to really integrate this from a process standpoint? From a decision-making standpoint? How often does it touch the customer? Because if it is a customer touch point, you can be darn sure that I’m not just going to solve for the cheapest resource, because the cheapest resource might mean my customers leave me. And then I was pennywise and pound foolish. 


So those are some of the things that come in, and the biggest variable in that equation by the way that people don't really appreciate is regulation. And companies may think, “All right. Well, we should go really cheap, but we should keep these people separated from customers and we should keep them very un-integrated into the business process and keep intellectual property out of the way so we'll have cheap workers that are really expendable and blah-blah.” Maybe. Maybe that's a conclusion some companies have come to. But then they run into the regulatory environment that says, “Actually, you can't do that. You can't make those workers all freelancers and totally not do anything for them because they're not important to you. You actually have to make them employees.” So regulation is usually a very powerful and very misunderstood variable in that equation.


[00:21:09] MB: Touching on a couple of those items; customer touch points, regulation, even coming back to the theme of co-bots that you talked about a minute ago. Share the example of ARMs and how they impacted bank tellers.


[00:21:24] JW: That is my favorite anecdote in the book. And it goes to show the mass complexity that goes into this situation. So the ATM was invented on September 2nd, 1969 by Chemical Bank. Put into a branch in Rockville Center in New York, and it took a solid 25 years for the ATM to really get modernized the way we think about an ATM. And by 1995 there were ATMs in every bank all across the United States. 


At the time there were 500,000 bank tellers employed, and every prediction about bank teller employment would say, “Oh, well, bank teller employment's going to go near to zero,” because I mean it's in the things name, automated teller machine. It's automating the job of the teller. Clearly there aren't going to be tellers anymore. And no. That wasn't what happened. What happened was we ended up now with 600,000 bank tellers employed in the United States and people look at that like, “Oh my gosh! Well, that must be an example of co-bots.” Well, yeah sort of. The bank teller job has around 50% of their component tasks, are the repetitive high volume tasks and taking in cash and giving out cash. That task can certainly be done on a machine unless you want 10,000 nickels for some reason.


But we saw the average number of tellers per branch decreased from 21 to 13 because it was that co-bot scenario where we do see about a half of the jobs go. But the reason that bank tellers and bank dollar employment increased by 20% is that the number of bank branches in the United States nearly doubled. And people making predictions about the future of bank telling jobs didn't think about these things, right? They just said, “Oh, there's a machine. It does the task. Therefore job goes.” And any kind of simple conclusion that any of your listeners hear about technology taking jobs or things like that that is that simplistic, it belays the mass complexity that goes into those decisions about employment of bank tellers, which involved the ATM. It involved mobile banking. It still does. It involves customer service and how much I want that bank teller to be cross-selling investment products and mortgage products and greeting the customer. It involves the competitive environment, because if Citibank's got bank tellers giving people lollipops, then you darn be sure that Chase and Bank of America are going to do that too, because I want a lollipop. And it involves the regulatory environment. And there are so many variables in this equation that, again, any simple conclusion – I’m not saying they're never true. I’m just saying be careful and ask questions and see if this prediction was really made in the context of evidence. 


[00:24:08] MB: And I love that example too. It's such a great way to illustrate this idea that just because it seems like on the surface that this might erase all of these jobs. What really happened in reality was something quite different. 


[00:24:22] JW: Yeah. And that is what happens time and time again. It is never that simple as, “Oh, companies are just going to outsource everything to India. No. Companies are going to use robots everywhere they can and they're going to screw workers.” Do companies get motivated by generating as much profit as possible? 100%. Is that the best thing for companies and societies? We could debate and discuss. But just because companies are profit and motive focused doesn't mean that they go for the cheapest option at every turn. It is complicated. And the main reason I wrote the book was to give people this framework for thinking about the future of work involving history, involving data, involving how companies really engage workers.


[00:25:05] MB: How does on-demand labor factor into this whole dynamic?


[00:25:10] JW: It’s such a great question and it's one certainly on the forefront of a lot of workers, a lot of policy makers, a lot of executives. So shocking, nobody, I’m going to cite some history and I’m going to cite some data here. The history is that on-demand labor has been a part of the labor force for a very, very long time. People have this notion that it started with Uber ten years ago. Completely false. Uber represents way less than one percent of the on-demand labor force. On-demand is 25% to 30% of the labor force. That is the size of the on-demand economy. And it's been 25% to 30% for quite some time. And the reason I have to say quite some time is we don't have a huge amount of data on this. It is not something that is easily tracked, because a lot of on-demand labor happens outside of HR systems. But what we do know is over the last 10 years when we've really started drilling in and starting to get better data, is that it's basically the same size as it was 10 years ago, maybe slight growth. 


The idea that on-demand labor is the future of work, the idea that on-demand labor is something new, there is no data to support that. We have every counter indication that it has been around for a very, very long time and that is growing, but very, very slowly. But it is an area that regulation, again, fits very closely into that labor equation as companies think to themselves, “Do I want to use more on-demand labor?” Regulation is a huge variable in that equation, because while you might want to engage a bunch of freelancers, you might not be allowed to. So it is a very important component of the world of work, but it is not the future and it is not new.


[00:26:52] MB: I love when you go and look back at the data and really start thinking about things from a more of a data-driven approach, an evidence-based approach, which is a huge focus for us here on the show. You start to see some surprising patterns and trends. And in this case, something that seems like a surprising new trend is actually something that has been with us all along.


[00:27:12] JW: It is true. I will tell you one of my other favorite things was we have this notion of lifetime employment that in the 1960s for some reason at IBM everyone cites IBM for some reason, that people were employed for life. You started the company, you worked there for 40 years, you marched towards your gold watch. I will tell you this that the average person, a person stays in a job on average I should say 4.2 years today. That's the average length of time someone spends in a job, 4.2 years. In 1960, the earliest we can find any data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics on this, at the height by the way of this lifetime employment contract, do you know what the average amount of time someone spent in a job was? 


[00:27:52] MB: I don't, but I’m excited to hear what it is.


[00:27:54] JW: Oh, you didn't think I was going to to put you on the spot and ask you some questions on your own podcast?


[00:27:57] MB: There we go. Flip the script.


[00:27:58] JW: That's how we do it. Five years. Five years was the average amount of time a person spent a job. And there are a few things that we see from that. One, but does that mean the lifetime employment model didn't exist? No, it doesn't mean it. There's no data to support that it existed for a lot of workers at a lot of companies. For some workers and some companies, sure. So that's kind of point one, the lifetime employment contract really being a notion, not a reality. And two is that how slowly labor statistics move. When you were talking about 100 million workers back then, 164 million workers now, changes on the aggregate for the aggregate labor market take a very long time. And the idea that there's been huge movements in any labor statistics, we don't have a lot of examples of it. But it is another one of my favorite examples of using data to not necessarily dispel a myth, because maybe there are other things I don't know. But the only data I have would tell a very different story than what the common narrative is for employment in the 1960s. 


[00:29:02] MB: It's so great that you can see all these really fascinating insights when you start to pick apart what the data actually says. And it comes back in many ways what we talked about at the beginning of this conversation, the idea that, writ large, if you just take what you're hearing anecdotally or on the news and don't really take the time to look at what the information is actually telling you, you can get a very different picture of reality from what's actually true.


[00:29:26] JW: Oh, I would say that applies not only to the world of work, but into politics and a host of other things that we should all strive to be inquisitive. We should all strive to not just take the word of a single source, but to really peel back, do our reading before we come to any conclusions.


[00:29:44] MB: I couldn't agree more. I want to come back to the challenge of retraining our labor force. To me that seems to be one of the biggest social challenges that we have over the next 20, 25 years. How do you think about that problem and possible ways to solve it?


[00:30:02] JW: So I worry about this, to be honest, man. I worry about it a lot not only because societies have done a poor job of this in the past, but it's unclear as to who owns this. Who owns that problem of retraining the workforce? Is it an individual's problem? And we see some very clear trends in the world of work of increased personal responsibility, workers having to take on their own healthcare, training development, retirement. Maybe. Is it a company problem? Do companies need to increase their training and development budgets and do it because it's not getting done otherwise and they got to staff people? Maybe. Is it the education system? Should we be continuing to push away from the four-year colleges? Should we be pushing technical schools and a host of other things? Maybe. Is it societal, right? Should we regulate? Should we say anytime companies let go of people, they have to give them X number of dollars to do retraining? They have to provide some of the retraining. Maybe. And what role does technology play in this? There are some amazing companies out there that are re-imagining how people acquire skills, whether it's through VR technology or obviously the online learning environments. Who's to say? But when I look at some of the different VR technology companies, I see people compressing the time and the cost of training people so they're ready to start in a job by 90%. That gives me a lot of hope. But we will have to wait and see how this plays out. And I would certainly encourage people not to wait and to own as much of this as possible, because certainly while that might be how it ends up, you're never going to lose out by taking things into your own hands.


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[00:34:32] MB: This challenge is something that in the back of my mind I turn over and think about a lot, because there have to be opportunities that are created by this shift and this challenge and this need to massively retrain huge components of the workforce. 


[00:34:47] JW: There are. And again, we just don't know how this is going to play out. But if we don't do it to the points we were discussing earlier, we don't do it at our apparel. I mean, look, that's 10% to 15% of the workforce over a 20-year period. That is 25 million workers in the United States. And look, they all won't happen at once, right? As we said, labor statistics move slowly and steadily, but it could be 1.25 million people losing a job each year to technology. And while that's less than one percent of labor force, it's still a huge amount. And does it really matter how big or small the statistic is when your job is lost? You're not comforted by the fact that, “Well, there weren't that many jobs lost.” You're pissed and you have a substantive issue for yourself and your family. 


So the societies that do this well, and we don't have a lot of examples of those, see this transition in a much smoother way. Those societies that do it poorly as we have done in the United States, we've done it very poorly. You can take a look at manufacturing workers in the United States, which manufacturing employment peaked at 20 million workers in 1980 and we have 12 million people in the manufacturing sector today. That's a 40% drop over a 30-year period, 40-year period. And it shows how poor a job we did retraining those workers. And those workers very rightly feel not attached to society. They are angry. And they should be, because society let them down.


[00:36:20] MB: It's interesting to put that into context. When you share that figure, I believe you said 8 million jobs since 1980 approximately of how many have been lost. When you talk about 25 million jobs in a similar time frame or maybe even a shorter time frame, you can really start to put that into context when you think about just the manufacturing industry alone. When you think about Rust Belt towns and empty cities that have been devastated by this, there could be a real impact if we don't figure out some meaningful solutions to this.


[00:36:49] JW: You are 100% correct, because as we said in the beginning, this change may well come faster than previous changes. And so that kind of scale and scope of change – And the change – Again, I’ve got my data and I’ve got my logic and my reason and I can defend it from the 10% to 15% number. But there is every possibility that that data is incorrect that our conclusions were wrong. Maybe it's much more to your point. 


And so this is something that we need to be very mindful of and we need to really have complex discussions and really come up with the best solutions, multiple solutions, because you're not like you pick one and that's it, as to how we do this retraining so that we can have as smooth a transition as possible, because we'll exit to this transition period at some point 20 years from now. And we want to have as smooth of a transition period as possible, because if we don't, it'll shake the very foundations of society.


[00:37:46] MB: On the show we like to focus in some way or some form around how we can take action, how we can start to improve ourselves or implement the things we're talking about. So in the context of retraining or even beyond this, how would you think about or what would you recommend for people listening to be able to do, to stay nimble, to adapt to this change and to be prepared for the disruption that we're going to see over the next 20 years?


[00:38:13] JW: So I think there's a term that a lot of people think is overused, and I’m going to say is underused, which is you got to be a lifelong learner. And people are like, “Oh, I’ve heard it before.” I’m like, “Yeah, but you can't hear it enough.” Because the amount of time it takes for a skill to become non-monetizable, become obsolete, it used to be 30 years. You have the same skill for 30 years and you can monetize it, no problem, over a lifetime of employment. Now it's like four to six years, because the rate of which technology changes. 


And so to the extent that you're not constantly learning, to the extent you're not taking online courses, to the extent you're not learning about new technologies, new processes, new systems, new products, you will become obsolete very quickly. And that is not something anybody should leave to chance. And so you need to be, much like we had discussed, kind of critical thinking and being inquisitive about what goes on around you. Being inquisitive about your own careers and your own professions. And yeah, you got to go attend these webinars and do these online trainings and take some online courses. Those are things that are going to become standard. They used to really be done by your company, but I would not wait for your company. Anyone that sits there and says, “Well, my company hasn't trained me on it.” Your company doesn't own your professional development. You own your professional development. So own it and take charge of it and put in place some of your own training and development to ensure that you won't be one of the people left behind.


[00:39:43] MB: Such a great insight and obviously hosting a podcast about personal development. I’m a big fan of it and I think most people who listen to this show are probably in the camp of lifelong learners. But for the people that aren't, make sure you recommend this show to your friends.


[00:39:59] JW: Absolutely.


[00:40:00] MB: Jeff, I’m curious, do you have any other really surprising predictions or conclusions about the future of work that most people wouldn't have anticipated or may not know? 


[00:40:14] JW: So I do take a few pages in the back of the book and just say, “Look, here are some things I think are going to happen by 2040.” And some of them that might be shocking, I think it'll be shocking for most people to understand that most labor forces in the industrial world are shrinking. That the labor force of Japan, even the Chinese labor force, German labor force, French labor force, Italian labor force are shrinking and their populations are starting to shrink or will start to shrink. The US labor force will grow. And a lot of people at first don't think that's a shocking prediction, but it is a shocking prediction in the context of it should get in line with the rest of the industrial world and start to fall at some point. I don't think that will happen. I think the US labor force will go from 164 million in that category to 170, mid-170 millions. 


I think the four-year college, the percent of people that have attended a four-year college will be much lower in 2040 than it is today. Now it can't be that much lower, because you attend a four-year college and then you get to be a part of the labor force that has attended a four-year college for the next rest of your life. So again, labor statistics don't move that quickly or statistics population. Statistics I should say. But I think we will decrease from about 34% to about 32%, because I don't believe that four-year colleges are the best ways for most workers to gain the skills they need to have monetizable skills for a lifetime, or at least to start their careers and then continue their lifelong learning journeys. 


I think the union movement will go from its current 7% to 8% of labor force up to 20%, and that might be the most shocking of the predictions that I have. The union movement over the last 70, 80 years has been in slow and steady decline from about 30% of the labor force post-World War II slowly and steadily down to about 10% about a decade ago, down to about 7% to 8% now. What's interesting is over the last 30 years the number of people in a union has actually stayed pretty stable at about 15 million. It's just the number of workers outside of unions has continued to grow, therefore the percent has dropped. 


And here's what I mean when I say the union movement will have a big revival. It is not the unions that exist today. The unions that exist today have their own structural problems and their own issues with flexibility and being able to adapt to a changing workforce, in my opinion. But the idea that workers need to bound together in collective action, the idea that workers need something to balance the power that companies exert especially as companies are able to exert more power given new technologies. These are very powerful lessons from history. There will be something that will rise to enable workers to balance out that power imbalance that will occur to stabilize the power of the relationship. And it has historically been the union movement is one of the most powerful factors. 


So I think you're going to see the advent of new multi-industry loosely configured union movements that are not the teamsters, which is in one area, or the SCIU, which is another area, or the United Auto Workers. It is going to be cross-industry, mobily-generated, social media driven and very light involvement. It's not going to be huge union dues. It is going to be a very light structure. And we'll see upwards of 20% of the workforce belong to those types of movements for the next 20 years.


[00:43:51] MB: Very interesting predictions. And as somebody who's dug into the data, I can tell that you have some really non-intuitive conclusions about it, which I really appreciate. For listeners who want to learn more, who want to dig into your work and who want to connect with you, what is the best place for them to do that?


[00:44:06] JW: Well, LinkedIn is always the best place to connect. It is I think the most relevant and most useful social network. And so it's the only one I really spend time on. I certainly am on Twitter @JeffreyWald. And then the book can certainly be found, I would love to say wherever fine books are sold, because I'd love to say that we were all going into bookstores together. But unfortunately that is not a reality right now. So Amazon and barnesandnoble.com and anywhere fine books are sold online, you can certainly find The End of Jobs.


[00:44:40] MB: Well, Jeff, thank you so much for coming on the show. A fascinating conversation about the future of jobs and where we may be heading. 


[00:44:48] JW: Thank you so much for having me and thank you so much for doing so much research and having an incredibly well-thought out series of questions. This was great.


[00:44:56] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener email.


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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.



November 26, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Clifford-Hudson-02.png

How A Jack-Of-All-Trades Can Still Reach the Top with Former Sonic CEO Clifford Hudson

November 19, 2020 by Lace Gilger

J. Clifford Hudson is an American business executive best known for serving as chairman of the board and chief executive officer of Oklahoma City-based Sonic Corp. He is the author of the new book Master of None: How A Jack of All Trades Can Still Reach the Top. He has served as a trustee of the Ford Foundation and is a past chairman of the board of the National Trust for Historic Preservation.

In this episode we explore...

  • Lessons from early childhood that shaped how Cliff would go on to approach his life and business.

  • How a lawyer in his late-twenties was hired by one of his top sales prospects!

  • How to identify strategies that are sustainable in the long term versus goal-oriented in the short term.

  • How renegotiating a franchise license agreement molded Cliff's understanding of the Sonic Business.

  • How a late-night conversation led to one of the most powerful and impactful organizational shifts for Sonic and their business.

  • Why keeping your head down is generally a bad idea.

  • How to create your own luck and find opportunities around every corner.

  • Cliff's three basic rules for life.

  • Homework - Engage in a new activity, hobby, or task that gives your brain a new shot of energy, and keep your head up!

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Clifford’s Website and Wiki Article

  • Clifford’s LinkedIn and Twitter

  • Master of None Podcast

Media

  • The Daily Record - “Former Sonic CEO shares business experience, wisdom” By Jack Rooney

  • The New York Times - “The Delicate Dance of a Progressive C.E.O. in the Trump Era” By Sapna Maheshwari

  • Oklahoma University - “Public health research, education focus of Hudsons' $5 million gift”

  • [Podcast] Thrivetime Show - CLIFFORD HUDSON | THE CEO WHO GREW SONIC DRIVE-IN FROM $800 MILLION TO $5.5 BILLION

  • [Podcast] Justin Brady - Clifford Hudson, former CEO of Sonic Drive-Ins On How They Nearly Killed Their Best Idea

Videos

  • Alain Guillot - 176 Clifford Hudson How a Master of None Reaches The Top

  • Red Twin (Roland’s Food Court) - Cliff Hudson, Full Interview [10-09-2020]

  • Yahoo Finance - Former Sonic CEO talks shift in restaurant industry plus, key leadership traits for business leaders

  • CNBC - Sonic Corp. CEO Clifford Hudson | Mad Money | CNBC

  • Oklahoma Today - Nate Interviews Sonic CEO Cliff Hudson

  • Journal Record - "Make that 300 and One" The Wit and Wisdom of Cliff Hudson

  • Funniest Commercials Compilation - Best of Sonic Drive In Ads - Funniest Commercial Compilations

Books

  • Master of None: How a Jack-of-All-Trades Can Still Reach the Top by Clifford Hudson

  • Harper Collins Book Page

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fable. 


[00:00:19] AF: Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners just like you in over 100 countries. I'm your co-host, Austin Fable and today we've got an absolutely incredible guest, Clifford Hudson.


We dig into his incredible journey throughout his life from lessons he learned at a young age, why being a generalist is more powerful than you might think, and how you can find more opportunities in your life and chances to grow and learn than you ever thought possible.


If you're looking to learn about leadership and growing not only a business, but personally from a man with not only a great story, but the results to back it up, then this episode is for you. And who are we kidding, of course that sounds like the kind of thing you want to learn, you are after all listening to the Science of Success.


But before we dig in, are you enjoying the show and content we put out each week for you? If so, there are two incredibly easy yet tremendously impactful things you can do for Matt and I. And as longtime listeners know, we're always looking for little changes and big results. First, leave us a quick five-star review on your podcast listening platform of choice. It helps other people like you find the show. So, do them all a favor and leave us a quick five-star review.


Next, go to our homepage at www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list today. Our subscribers are the first to know about all the comings and goings of the show but you will also have access to exclusive content you won't find anywhere else. Specifically, when you sign up, you're going to get our free course that we spent a ton of time on with an appropriate name how to make time for what matters most in your life.


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On this episode we interview an incredible guest, as I mentioned, Clifford Hudson. Clifford is an American business executive best known for serving as chairman of the board and Chief Executive Officer of Oklahoma City based Sonic Corp. He is the author of the new book, Master of None: How a Jack-of-All-Trades Can Still Reach the Top. He has served as a trustee of the Ford Foundation and is a past chairman of the board of the National Trust for Historic Preservation.


We had a great conversation and we're talking about getting Cliff back on the show. He's got a number of topics he's discussed that we didn't get to today. We had a great conversation about many, many things, including personal stories from his life, the learnings he's taken from them, and a lot of the different things that he enacted at Sonic that really changed his view on the world. And with that, here's our interview with Clifford Hudson.


[00:03:17] AF: All right, Cliff, welcome to the science of success.


[00:03:19] CH: Good morning. How are you doing?


[00:03:21] AF: I'm doing pretty good. How about yourself?


[00:03:24] CH: Doing fine. Doing fine. It's great to be with you. I appreciate the opportunity. 


[00:03:27] AF: Absolutely. Well, it's great to have you on the show. I really appreciate the time. I know that it's kind of a hectic time of year especially we're talking kind of before the show of you being on the road traveling around see family. So, we really really do appreciate the time.


I want to start with, for listeners who may not be familiar with you and your story. You've got a fascinating journey, ending in Sonic and really taking that company not only to the next level, but out of the stratosphere from where it was. But let's start as a lot of great stories do at the beginning. Just tell us about yourself and your journey.


[00:03:59] CH: Well, my entire family is from Dallas, Texas originally and all of us born there. My early years, elementary school years were spent in Wichita Falls, Texas. My family then moved to Oklahoma City for my teen years. And something really hugely impactful in my life, which I refer to as the book contributed to that move. And that is when I was finishing elementary school, my father's business partner after some period of embezzlement, at least according to story I was told, years later, when the business slowed the shortage of funds and shortage of capital became painfully apparent. Business failed. My parents lost everything. And at that point, he took a sales position with the other company and we moved to Oklahoma City, which is the intersection of I-35 and I-40, great for a sales position. We were there. The family is there for the next 10 years.


I then went east with my wife, in our 20s, to law school at Georgetown University. We were at the Baltimore Washington area for five years and then moved back to Oklahoma City. And this kind of set the stage for what ultimately became my Sonic career, did go into business law practice in Oklahoma City, but my timing was tough and that was something we couldn't have foreseen. That was an oil bust in that region of the country that really unfolded 1982.


So, I was involved in a business law practice from ‘82 to ’84, but the clientele had changed so radically, changed radically because the economy changed radically. I was pursuing Sonic as a, as a client as a potential client and had a former neighbor that was an officer of the company, there was a new CEO, and he asked me if I wanted to be a CEO. And here I was, 29 years old, the idea of being of a CEO, the company was fantastic. And in essence, they kind of turned the table on me and convinced me to come inside. And so, at 29 years old, I found myself as a general counsel of what was a turnaround candidate.


I didn't altogether appreciate that at 29, but I became General Counsel of Sonic at 29. So, that's kind of my path professionally, that led me to join Sonic earlier my career.


[00:06:21] AF: What an incredible compliment to be calling on essentially what is a prospect and have them ask you to come in house?


[00:06:29] CH: Well, that's an interesting observation on your part, because, in fact, I think what the then CEO, he was 36 years old, I said, I was I was 29. I know, I came to understand that his strategy was not one of them. Let's get a young general counsel in here. His strategy was, he secretly wanted to buy the company and he wanted a general counsel of the company who had sophisticated business law background. I think to be blunt, so that he wouldn't have to pay outside counsel to help him strategize about how to do that. That was ‘84 when I joined the company, and lo and behold, two years later, we did buy the company at a circuitous route. But two years later, we did buy the company.


[00:07:19] AF: I want to back up for a moment. I'm always interested, and you mentioned, kind of one of the big defining moments was, was your father's business sort of going under? What did you learn from that? Because I do always feel, I'm a father now myself of a two-year-old, but I always kind of think it changes the way you look at things, like I now kind of look at my parents’ life and I'm wondering what my kid will look at mine the things that you kind of learn and how important those lessons are. What lessons did you learn from experiencing that and seeing that? And was any of that facilitated maybe by a family member or was it all just observation on your part?


[00:07:55] CH: Well, I handle those in kind of reverse order. I would have to say that the learning from that was more by observation, frankly. I think it was a life experience that my family didn't talk a whole lot about, the impact was negative and pretty obvious. We didn't spend a whole lot of time talking about it.


The impact on me, I would say, was twofold, at least. One was early in my life as possible, my adult life, once I had assets that were sufficient to do so, it was my objective, my wife and I were quite aligned on this, to pay off our house, retire the mortgage, way, way in advance. I mean, most circumstances, I don't recall, but for a 20 to 30-year mortgage. I think we bought that house in ’89 and I'm sure we had a paid off by ‘93.


So, one was to not have creditor liens against house, which most people have called a mortgage. So, that was one. That was one takeaway, because I felt like it left my family in a more secure position if the house wasn't subject to creditors, regardless of what happened in my life, otherwise. The second thing, second takeaway, I would say in my my dad's business career, watching him and various aspects of real estate, construction, and otherwise, I think it's fair to say, I could use a bit of a euphemism. My dad had no concept of retained earnings. So, it seemed that the quality of his business was reflected even after his bankruptcy. The quality of business was reflected besides the airplane he was buying and flying. The bigger the business more widespread. I mean, he had a new airplane and sold the old airplane and just kept – I mean, he was, I think, aggressive with real estate background. He was aggressive with the use of debt, on every single project, et cetera. And I'm not really sure that any sense of building and enterprise and sustainability was part of his scope.


So, that was the second thing that I learned in watching him was work to build wealth and set it aside. And now, it’s not the right word, but set up a children's college funds early on and let that build separately in segregated manner. So, these are these are lessons I learned not by seeing them done but but by seeing them not done and what the what the consequence was. I'd say those were probably two of the biggest takeaways from that experience.


[00:10:38] AF: Yeah, it's interesting that sometimes the most powerful lessons are the ones that you see from people that aren't necessarily acting out the lesson that you ultimately learn.


[00:10:50] CH: Yeah, that's right. Well, I think, first of all, negative events always have a bigger drive or motivator to learn a lesson because everybody likes to avoid pain. And oftentimes, in our lives, I think when we have success, we really don't learn lessons, because we don't take time to reflect on it because we're successful. And secondly, we just like to assume it's because we're so brilliant and capable, so why question it.


I do think the negative. Now, in that case, you could say I learn from my father, but believe me, the pain is quite personal. I think our family enjoyed the house. I know our family enjoyed the house we were living in, the neighborhood we were living in, the schools we're going to, and so it was quite disruptive to lose pretty much everything, including the house, and then to relocate to a different circumstance where my parents didn't own a house for so more years. And when they did buy a house several years later, they only had it financed through seller financing. The owner took back the mortgage on the new house. So, it was damaging to him and them and to our family and a damage I wanted to avoid as I started my own family.


[00:12:02] AF: Well, it sounds like lessons that definitely hit home and that you've taken with you to to make some decisions to make sure you don't fall into the same traps.


[00:12:12] CH: Absolutely


[00:12:14] AF: I do want to segue a little bit here. So, let's talk about the book, Master of None: How a Jack-of-All-Trades Can Still Reach the Top. Now, I want to dig in but just tell us a little bit about it.


[00:12:28] CH: Well, late in my career, I became CEO of the company in 1995. Late in my career, I think around 2016/2017, I had come to conclusion, for variety reasons that many aspects of our company, its growth, stories that contributed to it were interesting stories. And they were peculiar to the brand itself. And there may be variations on other settings, but I thought the stories alone were interesting stories. But the second thing was, I also felt like I had an interesting leadership story to tell, not so much a – here’s how to manage a company. Rather, here's how to provide leadership in an organization that has application broadly, even if someone's not involved in a franchise organization, if they're not involved in a restaurant chain. There are lessons to take from those stories that I share in the book. And I felt like before writing a book, I felt like that was the case, good stories and very good leadership lessons in a setting in which they had those leadership methods had succeeded quite handsomely.


So, those were the motivations for writing the book. And then it took a while to put it together in no small part because 2018 was quite interrupted with the work group approaching the company and kind of rattling our cages about selling it, which they eventually did make their beds at the board simply couldn't go around.


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[00:15:48] AF: So, I'm curious to like as someone just – I have this pipe dream of one day writing a book as well. What was it like writing kind of like a memoir with a message? And I apologize that's a little bit of a mischaracterizations. But like, what was the process like? And through the process of putting it together, did you learn more? Did it reveal anything that you hadn't expected when you kind of set out because telling these stories of your past but then weaving in sort of a leadership message, you're almost viewing it from like a retrospective lens, but it's kind of like reading old notes, right? Or like old journal entries, you can oftentimes learn something from reviewing them years later that wasn't immediately apparent at the time.


[00:16:33] CH: Yes, I mean, you're just right on there and nothing else. When you spend 20 plus years running a public company, and you have other things in your life, in addition to that life's full, it's busy. And so, the process of writing something like that, does demand by definition, demand reflection, recollection, reconsideration, did we make the right decision in those circumstances, so on and so forth.


I mean, the answer is yes. Looking back in the process of writing the book, it was instructive to me about certain things that occurred along the way and the role these things played in my own development, my own understanding of our company, perspective as a company, but also leadership style, affirmation of styles and methods. So, it was a big time of reflection, and an interesting one and it was rich in its own way.


One of the things that was quite pivotal in my development as well as ultimately the company's development, I was made Chief Operating Officer in 1993. I've been with a company at that point nine years, eight years as General Counsel a year as CFO, and then was made Chief Operating Officer in the summer of 1993, end of our fiscal year that coincided, so that put me in a position, obviously of more control and oversight of the company. And I was the only person reporting to the CEO. And so, all the other folks marketing and finance and legal and real estate and franchising, all reporting to me. So, I was very much in charge day to day operations of the company and strategic development.


So, one of the things that began at that time, and in a way, it was kind of technical, but it was ultimately transformative is we entered into what ended up being a 13-month process, a renegotiation of our base license agreement with our operators. Now, what was the motivation there? Well, that was ‘93, going into ’94 and in within two or three years, we were going to have an enormous number of license agreements come to conclusion and our franchisees, a nightmare for them here they're needing to make long term plans on debt, people, and real estate, so on. And the last thing they wanted was to run up against a deadline on license agreements.


Same thing is true for us. We were public company, last thing you wanted was to have thousand license agreements come to an end and not get renewed. I mean, it would be disastrous for the brand or for the company. So, there we were, three, maybe even four years in advance of that deadline, agreeing to sit down with a franchise leadership and renegotiate. So, why was that transformative? One, it was transformative for me because it forced a broader review process of what was in our license agreement and why and how did that come about in the early ‘80s where versus what was in competitor peer companies license agreements and when I compare those, I compared them just for purposes of negotiation. It's part of the process, but it became very apparent that we were really lacking some of the authority and you might say, authority that led to strategic direction, but authority that was in some of our key competitors license agreements.


So, in that 13-month process, we negotiated to put to “modernize” our license agreement. But we put all of those paths and powers and authorities in that new license agreement that our peer companies had. Over the next five years, that opened doors for us that we could not have opened otherwise. But perhaps first and more importantly, was it educated me, just coming into the COO role, about what our alternative paths could be in advertising, and marketing, in facilities, retrofit, trade drafts of existing facilities, these types of things that you might know, intuitively, but you could see were very much of a long-term path with most of our competitors. 


So, that was a big change for me but it also then set us up to have the authority as we sold, we didn't tell, we didn't make our operators adopt these things. But as we moved into new initiatives to grow the business, we had the backbone of knowing they were right, because we'd prove them out to our operators. But we also had a big stick that we could hide of knowing we had the license, the authority and the license agreement.


So, this was at the time, you move through it, you move quickly, you implement some things that are new and powerful for growing sales and profit, the business moves quickly. But only when you go back and reflect later, do you see and recall what a significant impact this thing had on my own mindset.


Now, let me give you an example of where that clip became critical, just as we're completing the process. And I refer to this in the book, my boss, the CEO, really did not participate in that process with us, he delegated it to me, almost completely. We had a team of people within the company that were managing the process, and by the time we were finished with it, 11, 12, 13 months later, I could see the dramatic importance of these new provisions and being able to manage and lead the company going forward, not just the company, but the brand.


So, why was that a big deal? The franchisees on the other hand, were getting a little tired of some of it, and began to publicly a little bit of an embarrassment. They were saying things publicly in the industry press about my boss. And he pulled some of us aside and said, “Have we gone far enough? Can we shut this thing down? What if we give them what they want in terms of trade area protection? We just take the money and forget all this other stuff.” And it was so interesting, because I had gone through such an education to the process, that my reaction was, “If you don't get these other powers and authorities, we will have cut ourselves off in terms of future path for growth.” And it was interesting, because at that moment, and later, I came to understand, that was an experience and an outlook that he and I had come not to share. I think I came to see it, but it wasn't part of his outlook. And that was ‘94 when we completed the deal, just to give an idea of where his head was, really about six months later, he left the company anyway and took a new position.


So, it was interesting, the education for me and what that meant, and yet the lack of impression on him, and how he was willing to kind of throw it out, you might say, yeah, even as we were winding up the end of the process. So, you can virtually forget that because of the intensity of the next literally 20 years and 25 years. But as I went back writing the book, this was a fundamental period, fundamental piece and shift in our authority to manage the business, but also, I think, my understanding and appreciation of the levers that we would have to pull to move the brand forward for the next two decades.


[00:24:27] AF: It's interesting, there's a lot of things we could unpack there, but it's like your boss at the time, was really trying to avoid short term pain at the expense of long term control, but also what a great project to be a part of because you know, even going back to the book, renegotiating this agreement required you to have at least some understanding of every single aspect of the business, and maybe not be a tremendous expert in everything but really understand at a high level what it entailed, but not only that, but what the pieces meant for long term strategic growth, like, may not be a deep expert in advertising, but the power of advertising with one voice across the organization.


So, it almost seems like a crash course in becoming a generalist, because you have to understand these levers and which ones are important, which ones can be kind of not discarded, but maybe negotiated, to really gain back control of the entire ship.


[00:25:28] CH: Well, I think that's an interesting perspective. And maybe, maybe in a way, it's a parallel path on the generalist and yet the “expert” I want to use, I'm going to use that term and the most, in the most general sense that meeting to that point in terms of the generalist, I mean, I've been General Counsel the company for eight years, CFO for one year, and then moving to COO, I had enormous on the job training of all kinds of things, not just how the company ran but we had bought the company in ’86 in a leveraged buyout, we didn't have the money to buy it, and so, we leveraged the assets of the company to buy it. In ‘86, we bought it. In ‘88, we did a recapitalization.


So, was I involved in all these? Absolutely, front and center. In each of those cases, I learned a lot of things about the company. But I also learned about more about corporate finance, dealing with investors and the light. I then also oversaw the public offering at a company in ‘91. So, I got all kinds of you could say expertise, but really what it was was a lot of training about various aspects of the company, how we made money in company stores, how franchisees made more money, why we we’re predominantly franchised, these various license agreements over the years and what these meant, but then also dealing with the marketplace, private investors, private equity, and then the public marketplace, what those expectations were, corporate governance with a new board of directors and so on.


So, I really in a corporate setting, I was the ultimate generalist, and yet at the same time, the parallel path would have been in that process of reviewing license agreements, et cetera. It really was to start getting down into more of a lever of a modern franchise or more of the levers of a modern franchise or what these were, that could help an executive, elite executive, move a business forward.


So, in a way that parallel path was getting more expertise in more areas and I would say, one that I grew in tremendously, one board member said I had in my bones, but in fact, I got more and more comfortable with over time, no marketing background whatsoever in terms of education, then yet, I got very comfortable with marketing more and more over time, and really enjoyed it quite a bit. So, again, some development of expertise, you might say, but I was also dealing with wider variety of things within the company. So, that generally installed a while, so your point about the preparation that appears well taken, demanding enjoyment of that generalist path, and yet periodically diving into specific areas and the need for specific involvement of a little bit more “expertise”, you might say.


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[00:31:10] AF: So, let's dig in. There are three basic rules in the book. So, number one, don't plan, explore. Number two, don't specialize, generalize. And number three, don't keep your head down, turn it up toward opportunity.


I want to double click really quick on number three because I feel like there's this interesting idea. The 10,000 hours to become an expert in something, like do you really need to put your head down focus that much time. I also think being a jack-of-all-trades can sometimes be seen as like a negative, meaning you're not great at one thing. All these I think are kind of misconceptions. But what what does number three mean? I mean, instead of keeping our head down, turning it up towards opportunity, what does that mean to you?


[00:31:53] CH: So, let me answer this in a couple of ways directly on the concept itself, but also the reader and the person depending on what path they're on in life, and what clicks for them and what they want to be doing.


So, one of your recent podcasts was with the sleep deprivation fellow, and talking about, you know, since the 1940s, help develop society generally has moved towards less and less sleep. I think his comment was reduction of 20%, even 25% average sleep hours in the last 60 years. For a person to develop the expertise that your guest, if I recall, his name was Matt Walker, I think, Dr. Walker, I assume that for him to develop that level of expertise, have a clinic that he had, the publications that he had, et cetera, he's got to dig in with a level of intensity and focus that exceeds what many of us are likely to do in in our positions, that art of, that degree of specialty.


Now, if a person had worked that way, and I do do think, clearly, from person to person, our brains are different and some people enjoy things much more broadly and with greater variety and some people enjoy things much more intensely and more narrow. If your brain works more that way, one and two, you find topics for which you really do have a great passion, then I think the Malcolm Gladwell, 10,000-hour things as as more application to that type of person, then I can easily say someone like myself, because that whole 10,000-hour thing just wouldn't have worked for me. And so, a lot of it does depend on the individual the skill sets, the way your brain works, what you want to do with your life. But the fact is, in this context, speaking to a younger or mid-career person who doesn't find themselves on that kind of specialty path.


Let me just make the point this way. Someone could have insisted that I be on that specialty path and I suppose early in my career, I was. I mean, a more tedious corporate law practice. It didn't work for me and it wasn't going to work. I needed to the latter part of that, don't keep your head down, turn up toward opportunity. I needed to have my head up and engage broadly, soak stuff in, engage in new things on a regular basis, even if they're in the same subject matter. And so, in many ways, going from private law practice to in-house counsel, in some ways enabled me to do that because it was essential that I learn about the business broadly instead of burrowing in on one document or one transaction, which a law practice, particularly as a younger attorney demanded more of a narrow and tedious focus.


So, my pitch to folks for whom this works, that's a funny caveat, because someone that's 30 years old and already finds themselves on a very narrow path that really clicks for them. They have passion for it, they like it, they can tell it works because they're happy doing it, this comment has a little less application for them than the generalist, the person who does enjoy a variety of topics, trying to explore in life, what works for them. The opportunity is going to come along, opportunities will come along. It's a mistake to believe you got to create all your own options because options are presented to you. And if your head is down, if your nose is to the grindstone, if you're too narrowly focused, you're going to miss the opportunities that come along. And if you mistakenly believe you've got to create your opportunities, you're going to miss the ones that are presented to you that you could seize, but not if your nose is to the grindstone and you don't see it coming.


Let me give you an example that that I use in the book, there are a couple of different ways to go about this. The biggest one was when we bought the company. My boss wanted to buy the company, but there were 300 stockholders, there were a dozen stockholders that control the company, literally a dozen that had over 50% of the stock. So, he really had a hard time breaking that circumstance, breaking that log jam, the founder of the brand, the founder of the company, owned 12% himself and he wasn't interested in selling to anybody.


What happened was another fellow, he was a stockholder and a franchisee, but he was a former board member and former officer of the company and very aggressive individual. I talked about him in the book, he approached my boss and I one day with his counsel, and basically said, “I'm going to buy the company fire all of you. And I'm taking over this is what I'm going to do with the brand.” Well, my boss wisely, he didn't do it all by himself, but he wisely used this as a way to alert the board that if they didn't want that to happen, they better do something. So, what they did was they got their dozen stockholders together, 51%, they all put it in the founder’s hands gave him an option to buy the stock, they head off this fellow.


Now the founder, I think because he was on the board of directors, I don't know, but he had some fiduciary duty not to totally frustrate this effort to find that new value, and a higher price for the stock that the said fellow was offering. So, what he did was, what the founder did was, he took his option, and he put it in management's hand and said, “You, I'm giving you this option. You have a year or whatever to close on it at fair market value.” The founder viewed that as end of the story. But my boss, the CEO saw it as an extraordinary opportunity. All of it had been done simply to quiet things down and head off this wily coyote of a franchisee. But instead, my boss did work to raise the money, mostly did, and that's how we bought the company. It was not an opportunity we created, but once it was there, we seized it and ran with it.


So, I think there are other circumstances where people might not have been as aggressive about seizing the opportunity. There are smaller ones and bigger ones like that, that I experienced repeatedly regularly over my 23 years as CEO. But that that is to a large degree, whether it's a small opportunity, or a larger more meaningful opportunity. If your head is simply down all the time, you're going to miss things that come to you. And you've got to have a broader stroke, got to be listening and have your eyes open when those opportunities arise.


[00:39:09] AF: That's such a great story and it's it's interesting and it kind of reminds me of another guest we've had on the show, Dr. Richard Wiseman, but I'm curious Cliff, do you think that you're a lucky person? Would you characterize yourself as a lucky person?


[00:39:09] CH: I would characterize myself as a very lucky person. That there are a lot of fortunate developments in my life.


[00:39:29] AF: It's interesting because don't keep your head down, turn it up towards opportunity and hearing your story about the the kind of crazy wily coyote of a franchisee and the owner, it reminds me of a study they did and basically in summation, the founding was that people that consider themselves to be lucky actually find more opportunity and really do kind of to be a little cliché, create their own luck, and it's really not about some force in the universe. It's not about like karma. It's really about you having your head up and saying, “You know, good things do happen to me, so I'm going to look for them.” And then when you find these opportunities you actually seize on them, as opposed to someone who may not consider themselves to be lucky, or in this case kind of keeps their head down and tries to just get by might just completely miss the opportunity and therefore, become less “lucky”.


[00:40:20] CH: Yes, I can tell you in the great recession, one evening, at a franchise leadership retreat, several of us, I think there were at least three, maybe four franchise leaders there and officers at my home, it was a lake home, we often retreated at the lake so it's more relaxed setting and one where I could deal with these guys late in the evening more comfortably. But we were sitting around living room area late one evening at this retreat and one of my fellow officers was really digging in with the chair of our franchise advisory council about information systems and his need to go through and update.


The franchise leadership fellow kept saying he wanted to talk about challenges and newer markets. Now, mind you, we're coming out with great recession ‘9 and ‘10 had been very tough. This is actually ‘12, this is the spring of 2012. At one point, he remarked that for our newer markets, we refer to them as developing markets. He said that he thought franchise leadership will do almost anything to try to drive sales there. And I heard him say that, but I also heard this other officer come back to him and say, “Look, let's talk about your systems conversion.” And it was so funny, because here this franchise leader was opening a door to an opportunity that because of the history and the culture of our system, I didn't think the door would be open. He was willing to open it. But my fellow officer, on the other hand, wanted to keep going back to a more tactical, narrow systems discussion.


The reason it was a pivotal was because when that fellow, when the franchise leader said that, he’d do anything in order to drive performance of these new markets, I asked him something historical and kind of sacred. Are you saying to me that our franchise operators would be willing to break this half advertising local, half national, if we could show them by moving more of the money, if not all the money to national, that 100% of the system would come out ahead? And said to me, “I'm sure we could sell that.” Well, that was a total breakthrough thinking on his part, because this half of the money, local half national had just been sacred for a number of years and franchisees really liked spending their money local, because it made them pretty important players on a local basis.


At any rate, this was a breakthrough piece and it was interesting how it's something that could have been swept under the carpet that night, never heard if we'd kept narrowing in on what about your systems conversion in your own stores, at any rate. So, the point being really was almost immediately that opened up discussion about changing our advertising expenditures, so that ultimately, in negotiation with franchisees, we shifted so that 85%, roughly 85% of all funds went into a national fund.  That took us just four months to get consummated with the leadership amendments, all license agreements. When we did that and bought airtime for the following January, January 2013 and beyond, every single market in the system experienced a minimum of a 20% increase in gross rating points in their advertising. And some markets experienced as high as a 60% increase. So, it's so odd, that that single little statement by him, one of us hearing it and the other one not, one of us burrowing down, keeping their head down on an old topic, the other one listening to what the guy was saying head up. Our business absolutely took off 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 because of that change, and then some other marketing activities with it.


So, that was a very small, very slight example of burrowing in and keeping your head down versus head up looking and listening for opportunity. Long story but transformational for the business, but really made us a real national brand.


[00:44:43] AF: Yeah, that's an incredible story. It illustrates the point so clearly and so well. I think everyone listening to this interview right now is aware of the results. I mean, I have to imagine that must have led to opening up a lot of budget for the different things you could do which like everyone in their mom knows the the Sonic dudes, sitting in the car like rapping or rhyming or kind of bantering back and forth, which since then, you have been expanded on to be more diverse and a little bit different include different ethnicities and women. And really, this whole idea of just kind of two, three people kicking it in a car at Sonic has just become like, something you can mention really in any dining room in America, and people are going to know exactly what you're talking about.


[00:45:28] CH: Yes, you're right. It had an effect in several ways. One is what you're describing in terms of just the reach of the advertising becoming very national. But the consequence of that as well was that our operators, who had jumped out to some of these newer markets, which for us was particularly northeast and northwest, and the West Coast, suddenly, instead of lackluster sales growth and below average unit volumes, suddenly their businesses just took off. And with that their profits took off. And with that, their willingness to open new stores took off. The growth of the business through those years was huge and very positive. It also gave us badly needed money to reinvest in our stores, particularly by the way, information systems and management systems within the store.


And so, through that decade, this really became an enormous investment in infrastructure to carry the business forward after that. So, it was transforming for the business, more importantly, for the brand, because the brand became – when I say the business, I'm talking about corporation versus franchisees. When I say the brand, I just means Sonic. And the brand became a national brand, and a much stronger brand with that sustained national advertising.


[00:46:56] AF: So incredible. And Cliff, I definitely want to be respectful of your time. You've shared so many great lessons and good stories today. But one thing we always like to ask our guests before we let them go is if you could give our audience one piece of homework, what would that be?


[00:47:12] CH: Wow, that's an interesting question. Well, I think that one of the first things that comes to mind is in this category of turn your head up toward opportunity and exploration, I think that because the orientation is to double down, and we use that phrase often and all kinds of ways rarely is it seems being a negative. I think it could be interesting for the reader or the listener, rather, it could be interesting to turn their head up and give themselves an assignment, look for a new opportunity that’s broadening, that’s good for the brain development and good for their perspective, whether it's a new book, or a new a new line of reading of books or musical instruments, art, engagement and community.


I think this is something that's a contrast, but a compliment to what they're otherwise doing in their working activities, not only is good for brain development, I think it makes them a better employee, it makes them a better officer of the company, it makes them a better citizen of their community with that kind of broader enrichment, broader engagement. So, in some ways, that made the person thing about their career that may be counterintuitive, but that kind of refreshing energy and information for the brain, I think helps an individual in everything they do, not just in the new engagement.


So, the homework for someone, maybe find that new thing that does give your brain a shot of energy, and then exercise it regularly not to the exclusion about the responsibilities. But if you find something, find something that works for you feels good and that’s energizing for you, then work it into your calendar, do it regularly because it'll make you richer person overall, I think.


[00:49:18] AF: I love it, such great homework advice and just advice in general.


So, Cliff, where can people find you? If we want to learn a little bit more, they want to buy the book, they want to dig into all the great stories you offer, where should they go?


[00:49:18] CH: Well, to learn more about the book, they can go to cliffordhudson.com, and that will direct them in a variety of ways related to the book and its messages. Beyond that, as you might expect the book can be bought at Amazon, amazon.com or Barnes and Noble or any number of other book purveyors across the country including, often I think, in their independent bookstore, locally owned and operated.


So, either way, it's widely available. Harper Collins is the publisher and hopefully they'll find it enjoyable experience that will not only be a diversion to their work in some ways, but ultimately a little bit of an augmenter to the career experience that the average listener is experiencing.


[00:50:19] AF: I love it. And for everybody listening right now, go to www.successpodcast.com and we'll include all of this in the show notes, including the links to Amazon, your website, socials, Harper Collins as well.


Cliff, thank you so much for the time again, it's been great talking to you, great meeting you. We wish you much continued success and be safe while you're up in New York, all right?


[00:50:39] CH: Okay, awesome. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity as well and best of luck to you.


[00:50:43] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created the show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an email. My email is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I'd love to hear from you, and I read and respond to every single listener email. I'm going to give you three reasons why you should sign up for our email list today by going to successpodcast.com and signing up right on the homepage. There are some incredible stuff that’s only available to those on the email list, so be sure to sign up, including an exclusive curated weekly email from us called Mindset Monday, which is short, simple, filled with articles, stories, things that we found interesting and fascinating in the world of evidence-based growth in the last week.


Next, you’re getting an exclusive chance to shape the show, including voting on guests, submitting your own personal questions that we’ll ask guests on air, and much more. Lastly, you’re going to get a free guide we created based on listener demand. Our most popular guide, which is called How To Organize and Remember Everything, you can get it completely for free along with another surprise bonus guide by signing up and joining the email list today. Again, you can do that at successpodcast.com. Sign up right at the homepage. Or if you’re on the go, just text the word smarter, S-M-A-R-T-E-R, to the number 44222. 


Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend, either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes, because that helps boost the algorithm that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talk about on the show, links, transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com just at the show notes button right at the top. Thanks again and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.


November 19, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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The Art of Landing Your First Customer with Brant Cooper

November 12, 2020 by Lace Gilger

Brant Cooper is the CEO of Moves the Needle and the New York Times best-selling author of The Lean Entrepreneur, The Entrepreneur’s Guide to Customer Development, and The Lean Brand. He’s helped startups go from idea to IPO, acquisition, and rapid growth. But he also has first-hand experience with crushing failure. 

Brant is a mentor and advisor to CEOs of some of the world's largest companies who are leading organizations out of the industrial age of business into a culture of entrepreneurial action. Brant's mission is to teach individuals economic and personal growth by creating value for others. 

  • The lessons you can build from crushing failures

  • What is customer development?

  • "When there’s uncertainty, you can’t just execute"

  • Why don’t people talk to customers?

    • Scared

    • Too focused on the scale (i.e. do unscalable things)

    • Get out from behind your keyboard and talk to humans

  • “I need 1000 customers” - no you need ONE customer.

  • You don’t know enough about your business to automate your marketing

  • The REAL definition of product-market fit is that the market is PULLING the product from you, you “can’t keep it on the shelves”

  • How do you balance learning and deciding what to do with executing under extreme resource or time constraints?

  • What is customer empathy and how do you build it into your business?

  • How can you build experiments in your business?

  • What are the cornerstones of building good customer experiments?

  • What should you do if your experiments fail over and over again?

  • “The big opportunities are through thick walls"

  • What are learning metrics and how should you integrate them into your business?

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Thank you so much for listening!

Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Brant’s Website

  • Move the Needle

  • LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

Media

  • MSN Money - “Engineering the lean startup” by Chris Brummer and Evan Campbell

  • Crunchbase Profile - Brant Cooper

  • Entrepreneur - “Move Beyond Just Managing Into the Fertile Turf of Mentorship” by Brant Cooper

  • The Startup Garage - “14 Key Insights From The Lean Entrepreneur Author Brant Cooper”

  • Customer Think - Article Directory

  • Mind the Product - Article/Presentation Directory

  • LeanB2BBook - “An Exclusive Interview with Brant Cooper, Author of The Lean Entrepreneur – Part 1”

    • Part 2 here

  • Forbes - “Lean Innovation: Design Thinking Meets Lean Startup For The Enterprise” by Kaan Turnali

  • About Me page

  • [Podcast] Edison 365 - Episode #3 – Interview with Brant Cooper – CEO at Moves the Needle

  • [Podcast] The Entrepreneur Way - 1668: Learning the Craft of Entrepreneurialism with Brant Cooper Co-Founder and Owner of Moves The Needle

  • [Podcast] EO Fire - John Lee Dumas Chats w/ Brant Cooper

  • [Podcast] The Foundation - The Myth of the Visionary - with Brant Cooper

  • [Podcast] The Innovation Engine - The Lean Entrepreneur, with Brant Cooper

Videos

  • Moves The Needle YouTube Channel

  • Talks at Google - The Lean Entrepreneur | Brant Cooper & Patrick Vlaskovits | Talks at Google

  • TEDxTalks - Myth of the VIsionary: Brant Cooper at TEDxAmericasFinestCity

  • Miguel B Hart - Leo Widrich of Buffer - Founder's Talk @ Outsite w/ Brant Cooper & Miguel B. Hart

  • Y6FM - A Beer with BRANT COOPER - author of "The LEAN Entrepreneur"

  • USD School of Business - Idea Lab: From Inspiration to Action Featuring Brant Cooper

Books

  • Lean Entrepreneur Book Site

  • Amazon Author Page

  • The Lean Entrepreneur: How Visionaries Create Products, Innovate with New Ventures, and Disrupt Markets  by Brant Cooper , Patrick Vlaskovits , and Eric Ries

  • Entrepreneur's Guide To The Lean Brand: How Brand Innovation Transforms Organizations, Discovers New Value and Creates Passionate Customers  by Jeremiah Gardner , @FAKEGRIMLOCK, and Brant Cooper

  • The Entrepreneur's Guide to Customer Development: A cheat sheet to The Four Steps to the Epiphany by Brant Cooper , Patrick Vlaskovits , and Steven Blank

Misc

  • Disruption for All Signup Form

  • [Book] Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown

  • [Book] Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World by Stanley Gen. McChrystal, Tantum Collins, David Silverman, and Chris Fussell

November 12, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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The Truth About Sleep - And How It Can Save Your Life with Dr. Matthew Walker

November 05, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Best Of, High Performance, Health & Wellness

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

Listen To The Episode

Show Notes

Video - 4 Scientifically Proven Paths To A Perfect Night Sleep

The Sleep Deprivation Epidemic - Why You Should Sleep More

Links and Additional Research

Episode Transcript

Are you tired? If your answer is yes, it would seem relatively straightforward to assume you're not getting enough sleep.

It’s one of the most important things you can possibly do for yourself.

Improve. Your. Sleep.

You’re going to spend a large portion of your like sleeping. And that’s a good thing! Getting more sleep not only allows you to wake up well rested each morning but also prevents disease and can lead to a longer (and happier) life overall.

Did you know that routinely sleeping less than 6 hours a night can increase your risk of cancer by 50%? After just one night of less than 5 hours of sleep Natural Killer Cells (which fight cancer cells) drop by 70%! After just one night!

Sleep isn't just about rest. It's about the body repairing itself, doing maintenance so to speak. Unfortunately, what has been discovered over time (and discussed in this book) is that, if you lose sleep, taking a nap, while it takes the edge off, it doesn't replace the sleep lost during the night.

Our ability to fight disease (including cancer) and obesity may be directly tied to not getting enough restful sleep. Pills don't help either. Yes, they knock you out and make it easier to fall asleep but they lack the restorative power of natural sleep and, in fact, some sleeping pills can increase your risk of cancer.

Knowing this, it must change the way you think about the old saying “I’ll sleep when I’m dead”… because ironically adopting that mindset will get you there quicker.

Do you find that you wake up feel groggy or angry? Do you reach for the snooze button 1, 2 or even 3 times each morning? Or, do you hop right out of bed ready to tackle the new day?

What about at night? Do you struggle to fall asleep? Tossing and turning seemingly unable to count enough sheep to get to bed. Or, are you out like a light when you pull the covers over yourself?

If you want to literally improve every single aspect of your life and wake up feeling refreshed and rested each and every night this interview is for you.

To get started NOW, download our free guide below and learn 5 super simple and easy ways to maximize your sleep starting tonight!

In this episode we discuss everything you ever wanted to know about sleep. We examine the findings from hundreds of studies across millions of people and pull out the major findings about how vitally important sleep is, the global sleep loss epidemic, the stunning data about sleep and productivity, the simplest and most effective evidence based strategies for getting better sleep and much more with Dr. Matthew Walker. 

Dr. Matthew Walker is Professor of Neuroscience and Psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, and Founder and Director of the Center for Human Sleep Science. He has published over 100 scientific studies and is the author of the book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams. Which is currently the #1 Amazon Bestseller in Neuroscience . He has been featured on numerous television and radio outlets, including CBS 60 Minutes, National Geographic Channel, NOVA Science, NRP and the BBC.

Show Notes

  • Global sleep loss epidemic - the average American sleeps only 6.5 hours per night

  • Sleep has slowly been eroded by our society over the last 60 years

  • Sleep is vital and essential from an evolutionary standpoint - you can’t just lop off 25% of the necessary sleep you need

  • Studies across millions of people show one clear thing - the shorter your sleep, the shorter your life

  • If you sleep less, you will be dead sooner, lack of sleep kills your more quickly

  • Lack of sleep is a major predictor of “all cause mortality” including cancer, Alzheimers, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, depression, and suicide

  • Hard science shows why a lack of sleep is tremendously bad for you

  • Sleep has an image problem, we stigmatize sleep and think its lazy and slothful - people wear lack of sleep as a badge of honor to be celebrated

  • Less sleep does not equal more productivity

  • The 5 clear truths of sleep research and productivity

  • Under-slept employees take on less challenging problems

    1. They produce fewer creative solutions

    2. They exert less effort when working in groups (slacking off, social loafing)

    3. They are more likely to lie, cheat, and engage in deviant behavior

    4. The more or less sleep that a CEO has had, the more or less charismatic they will be

  • Chronic exhaustion cost most first world nation 2% of the GDP - 411 billion dollars lost each year to a lack of sleep

  • The research is very clear that under-slept individuals are not as productive or successful

  • The evidence is resoundingly clear - cutting on sleep makes you less productive and less creative and less effective

  • After being awake for 21 hours, you’re as cognitively impaired as someone who is legally drunk

  • The two principle types of sleep - REM sleep and non-REM sleep

  • The different stages of sleep - the 4 stages of REM sleep

  • Hard science shows that deep Sleep is critical to clearing toxins out of your brain

  • Sleep is like a sewage system for your brain - it cleans all the toxins and debris out of your brain

  • The less sleep you have, the higher your probability of getting Alzheimers

  • Different cognitive systems in your brain also work during sleep - its like saving files to a hard drive, you have to sleep to get the save button

  • The emotional circuits of the brain are changed and modified by sleep - the amygdala (which controls fight or flight) is regulated by the pre-frontal cortex

  • Lack of sleep can have a serious negative impact on your emotional health

  • Sleep reboots body systems as well - not just the brain

  • Deep sleep is one of the best blood pressure medications you can imagine

  • Deep sleep regulates insulin levels and blood glucose levels

  • Sleep is also essential for the reproductive system

  • Sleep boosts testosterone and lack of sleep makes you 10 years older from a testosterone standpoint

  • Appetite, weight, food consumption are all regulated by sleep - lack of sleep makes you eat 300-550 more calories per day, and makes you eat more high sugar and high carb foods

  • Sleep also has a profound impact on the immune system - one night of 4 hours of sleep will drop natural killer cells (body cancer fight cells) by 70%!

  • The link between lack of sleep and cancer the WHO recently classified night shift work as a probable carcinogen

  • Sleeping 5 hours per night makes you 200-300% more likely to catch a cold than someone sleeping 8 hours a night

  • There is not a SYSTEM or PROCESS in the body/brain that is not impacted by sleep

  • The most striking omission in the health literature today is that sleep is not at the center of the health conversation

  • 3 key ways sleep improves your learning

  • Is it wise to pull an all nighter? What does the research say?

  • The “memory inbox of the brain” (hippocampus) and how sleep is vital to creating and storing memories

  • Sleep is vital both BEFORE learning and AFTER learning to store and save new memories and solidify them into the architecture of the brain

  • Sleep replays information and strengthens memories

  • Sleep provides a 3x advantage to problem solving compared to an equivalent period being awake

  • "The 6 Unpopular Tactics for Getting Enough Sleep"

  • Carve out enough time and make sleep a priority - carve out an 8 hour window to sleep every night

    1. This is the #1 thing to do - regularity is KEY - go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, no matter what

      1. Sleeping in late creates “social jetlag” which has serious negative consequences - regularity of sleep is key

    2. Keep the temperature cool - keep your bedroom 68 degrees - your body needs to drop its core temperature 2-3 degrees to fall asleep

    3. You can hack this by taking a hot bath before bed

    4. DARKNESS is key to producing melatonin. Phones, screens, blue light etc trick the brain into thinking its day time and shut off melatonin production

    5. Reading on a tablet 1 hour before bed shifts your melatonin production 3 hours later!

      1. Use blackout shades

      2. No screens 1 hour before bed

    6. Do NOT stay in bed if you’ve been in bed longer than 20 minutes. You brain is a very associative machine - being awake in bed trains the brain that it’s OK to be awake in bed. Get up, go to a different room, read a book in dim light, no screens, no eating. And only when you feel sleep return to bed, and you will re-learn the key association between making the bed about sleep

    7. Some people don’t like this idea.

      1. Meditation is a great way to get yourself to fall back asleep. The studies are very clear, very well done that meditation can help improve sleep.

    8. No caffeine after noon and avoid alcohol in the evenings.

    9. Caffein prevents deep sleep

      1. Alcohol fragments your sleep and makes your wake up much more, leaving with un-restorative sleep

      2. Alcohol blocks dreams and REM sleep

  • Sedation is NOT sleep. Knocking out your cortex is not natural sleep.

  • You could be A FAR BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF mentally, cognitively, physiology if you just got more sleep

  • Current sleeping pills are “sedative hypnotics” that do NOT productive naturalistic sleep, and do not get the benefits of sleep

  • Sleeping pills have a far higher risk of death, cancer, infection

  • CBTI - cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia is just as effective as sleeping pills in the short term, but much more effective long term

  • Melatonin can be a useful tool to time the onset of sleep

  • Does napping work?

  • There is no such thing as the sleep bank - you can’t accumulate a debt and then hope to cash in on the weekend - sleep doesn’t work like that

  • Napping can prevent you from falling asleep and staying asleep! Be careful!

  • How does GABA impact your sleep?

  • Sleep is a remarkably complex neurochemical ballet

The Sleep Deprivation Epidemic: Why You Should Sleep More 

Do you ever pull an all-nighter to cram for a test, but still fail? Maybe you work 60-hour weeks but feel like you’re getting nowhere. Unfortunately, developed nations are suffering from a sleep deprivation epidemic, but science can help us see the reasons for getting a good eight hours every night.

 A common saying you hear is, “You can sleep when you’re dead!” But recent sleep studies have shown us that less sleep means our lifespans shorten and our quality of life will decrease too. Unfortunately, our society pushes us to sleep less and work more, so we need help shifting our social perspective.

It turns out, that our relatively recent attempt to shorten the amount of sleep we get runs into a lot of problems against the million-year-old necessity that mother nature has put in place. The 20-25% decrease we’ve imposed on ourselves has led to an increased likelihood of developing every major disease that kills us in the developed world.

Elucidating Sleep Science

“I think part of the problem, perhaps, is that the science of sleep is actually not being adequately communicated to the public and I think it’s people like myself who are to blame.” – Dr. Matthew Walker 

Dr. Matthew Walker is a professor of neuroscience and psychology at UC Berkeley, founder and director of the Center for Human Sleep Science, and author of Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams. His belief is that sleep science is not understood by the public, which was part of his motivation for writing Why We Sleep.

Many people appear to be proud of how little they sleep. However, the list of problems linked to a lack of sleep include Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes, depression, bipolar disorder, and suicide, among other mental health conditions. With this information in hand, it’s necessary to remove the stigma on getting a sufficient amount of sleep (about eight hours).

Dr. Walker set out to write a book of reasons why you should sleep, rather than rules. He addresses the relationship between sleep and productivity, citing laboratory and workplace studies that have provided him with five clear truths.

Five Facts About Sleep-Deprived Workers

“It’s very clear that under-slept individuals are not going to be successful.” – Dr. Walker

  1. They take on less-challenging problems.

  2. They produce fewer creative solutions.

  3. They exert less effort when working in groups.

  4. They are more likely to lie, cheat, and engage in deviant behaviors.

  5. Less sleep means less-charismatic leaders.

He also notes that a recent report demonstrated that chronic exhaustion and fatigue (due to a lack of sleep) caused most first-world nations to lose about 2% of their GDP (that’s $411 billion for the U.S.). “If we solve the sleep deprivation problem in the U.S., we could almost double the budget for education, and we could make huge in-roads into the problems we have with healthcare,” he adds.

Dr. Walker shares an analogy to represent the current nature of an office workplace by comparing it to a spin class: “Everyone in the office looks like they’re working hard, but the scenery never changes – there’s never any forward progression in terms of momentum with productivity and creativity.”

Finally, he ends his evaluation of workplace attitudes by observing how their attempt to optimize the efficiency of every system stops at the human level. Where the budget, taxes, hardware, and software are all effective, there’s no focus or understanding of a human’s cognitive or physiological capacities and their necessity to reboot and recharge.

Sleep: The Human Recycling Period

“There really isn’t any system within your body, or process within the brain, that isn’t wonderfully enhanced by sleep when you get it or demonstrably impaired when you don’t get enough.” – Dr. Walker 

Dr. Walker informs us that we need eight-hours of sleep after 16-hours of wakefulness; and after 20-21 hours of being awake, we are as cognitively impaired as someone who would be legally drunk behind the wheel. So what exactly is happening when we sleep?

Sleep is simply divided into rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, where we dream, and non-REM sleep; while non-REM sleep is further divided into four sub-stages. Each stage performs different yet necessary functions.

When we are awake, we are essentially in a form of low-level brain damage. Thus, one of the functions performed during the deepest stages of non-REM sleep is to clear out the metabolic toxins that have been built up in our brain. This is done through our brain’s glymphatic system (similar to our body’s lymphatic system). While asleep, this system’s performance increases by 200-300% relative to when we’re awake. (This process is known to remove a toxic protein called beta-amyloid, one of the leading candidate causes of Alzheimer’s disease.)

Sleeping also improves our learning in at least three ways.

  1. Sleeping prepares our brain: A lack of sleep leads to a 40% deficit in our ability to make memories.

  2. Sleeping ‘saves’ information: While asleep, we transfer information from our short-term to long-term memory. Like hitting the ‘Save’ button, it prevents us from forgetting memories.

  3. Sleeping strengthens our memories: Sleep interconnects new memories together and interconnects it with pre-existing memories. This creates an updated associative network of memories.

Dr. Walker comments on the third point, “That’s the reason that you can come back the next day having extracted and divined creative novel solutions to previously impenetrable problems that you were facing.” While simple problems benefit from focused thought, complex problems benefit from non-conscious thought, such as that which occurs during sleep. It’s because of this function that nearly every language has a phrase similar to “sleep on a problem,” and not to “stay awake on a problem.” He ends with the analogy, “It’s essentially informational alchemy that occurs overnight.”

The emotional circuits of our brains are also modified during sleep. Our amygdala is reconnected to our prefrontal cortex when we get a good night’s sleep, which puts a brake on our emotional gas pedal. When we are deprived of sleep, the connection is severed, which essentially makes us all emotional gas pedal and no brake.

The benefits of sleep don’t end at the brain; there are many physiological systems that are rebooted during sleep as well. Deep, non-REM sleep is one of the best forms of blood pressure medicine, because it slows your heart rate. It also releases a variety of restorative chemicals and hormones, including a growth hormone that restores the cells in your body.

Sleep regulates your metabolic system, specifically insulin levels. In fact, studies have shown that one week of five-six hours of sleep a night will disrupt a person’s blood sugar enough to classify them as pre-diabetic. This illustrates the crucial role sleep plays in regulating the metabolic system.

A lack of sleep is known to age both men and women by a decade in terms of wellness and virility by disrupting the reproductive system.

Appetite regulation and food consumption are directly affected by sleep. Sleep deprivation causes in imbalance in leptin, which tells your brain when you’re satisfied with your food, and ghrelin, which tells your brain you’re not satisfied with your food. This causes you to eat 300-500 more calories a day. Not only do you eat more, but you’re also more likely to reach for starchy carbohydrates and high-sugar foods, while avoiding high-protein foods.

One night of four-hours of sleep will drop your cancer-fighting immune cells by 70%. The link between sleep-deprivation and cancer is so strong, that the World Health Organization recently classified night-time shift work as a probable carcinogen because it disrupts our sleep rate rhythms.

Five-hours of sleep per night the week before you get your flu shot will reduce your body’s antibody response to less than 50%, rendering it largely ineffective. Similarly, with five-hours you are 200-300% more likely to catch a cold than someone who gets eight-hours of sleep.

According to Dr. Walker, “All lack of sleep is, perhaps, a slow from of self-euthanasia.”

How to Fall Asleep Fast and Sleep Better

“I think what we know is that: Without sleep there is low energy and disease, with sleep there is vitality and health.” – Dr. Walker 

Dr. Walker begins to share five tips (and their explanations) for how to sleep better. These five tips all follow a primary, overarching requirement: Carve out an eight-hour, non-negotiable sleep window every night.

1. Go to bed and wake up at the same time.

Regardless if it’s a weekday, the weekend, or a holiday, always wake up at the same time. Even if you have a bad night of sleep, just make sure you fall asleep early the following evening. Sleeping in late causes “social jetlag” where you feel tired in the evening and drift forward in time; this has deleterious consequences to your health and sleep.

2. Keep it cool.

Keeping your bedroom around 68°F (18.5°C) is optimal for most people. This is because your body needs to drop its core temperate 2-3° to initiate sleep. If your feet get cold, then you can wear socks. Also, a hot bath before bed causes mass vasodilation (more so than a hot shower); this pulls your blood near your skin’s surface, plummeting your core temperature.

3. Keep it dark.

Darkness releases melatonin, a vital hormone for the onset of sleep. Too much light inside the house (or from LED screens) before bed will trick your brain into thinking it’s daytime, shut off the production of melatonin, and prevent sleep. Dim your lights by turning half of them off in the evening, avoid LED screens in the last hour before bed, and use black-out curtains.

4. Get up if you’ve been awake in bed for longer than 20-minutes.

Whether you’re trying to fall asleep or wake up, you must get out of bed if you’ve been lying awake for more than 20-minutes. If not, then your brain creates the association that your bed is about being awake, rather than asleep. If you’re trying to fall asleep but can’t, then go to another, dim room and maybe read a book (but avoid eating and screens). Only when you’re sleepy should you return to bed; that way you fall right asleep and recreate the association that beds are for sleeping. Dr. Walker, a hard scientist and skeptic, even suggests meditation, citing its support from clinical trial data and his recent conversion to the practice himself.

5. No caffeine after noon and no alcohol in the evenings.

Even people who claim that caffeine doesn’t affect them because they fall right asleep suffer from less-deep sleep. When they wake up, they don’t feel as refreshed, then reach for an extra cup in the morning, thus building a cycle of dependency and addiction. If you don’t stop at noon, then certainly after 2:00pm. Alcohol, on the other hand, sedates your cortex (effective knocking out your brain). This causes un-restorative sleep by waking you up multiple times throughout the night. It also blocks your REM sleep, which is critical for creativity and memory processing as well as emotional and mental health.

A common trap for people to fall into is thinking, “Well, this is how I am now at this age.” But this perception of yourself prevents you from realizing that you can be a far better version of yourself, mentally, cognitively, and physiologically, if you simply start getting enough sleep.

This trap can easily occur as a result of excessive or improper caffeine consumption. It isn’t until people come off caffeine that they start to feel the benefits that normally come from high-caffeine use. “It’s like wiping a fogged window, and you can start to see clearly through it,” Dr. Walker comments, attributing the improvement to a full, restorative night of sleep. 

How to Deal with Insomnia

            “There are no sleeping medications that we have currently that produce naturalistic sleep.” – Dr. Walker

Sleeping Pills

Dr. Walker goes on to address the question of sleeping pills. He explains that the current class of drugs one will be prescribed are called ‘sedative hypnotics.’ Just like alcohol, these sedate (or knock out) your brain. The sleep you get on sleeping pills is not the same as natural, healthy sleep.

Additionally, these pills are associated with a far higher risk of death, cancer, and infection. Though these links have not be confirmed as causal or merely associational. He goes on to inform us that that people don’t necessarily need them, and there is a safe, non-pharmacological alternative which is just as effective: cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBTI).

With CBTI, the benefits to your sleep are just as powerful in the short-term, but they also continue long-term as you maintain the practice. Sleeping pills, on the other hand, produce rebound insomnia, where your sleep is just as bad (or worse) once you stop taking them. (People should revisit these issues with their doctor if they’re interested in alternative treatment.) 

GABA

GABA is the principle, inhibitory neurotransmitter of the brain; it works like a red light for your neurons, telling them to stop firing. Most sleeping medications work by targeting the GABA system, though their blunt nature is incapable of properly mimicking the complex neuro-chemical and neuro-physiological ballet that occurs during sleep.

Melatonin Supplements

Next, Dr. Walker discusses the uses of melatonin supplements. While they don’t actually help a young, healthy person with a stable sleep schedule, they’re great for helping someone adjust to a new time zone. By taking it 30-60 minutes before you want to sleep, it can help reset your body’s internal clock and counteract jetlag. He also notes that if people take melatonin and they feel that it helps (even if it doesn’t), then they should continue to do so.

Napping

Many people think that, if they don’t get enough sleep, then they can just “catch up” on it later, either with a nap or by getting more sleep at night. Dr. Walker states, “Sleep is not like the bank. You can’t accumulate debt, then hope to pay it off at the weekend. There is no credit system.”

However, if you are sleep-deprived, then you can nap and overcome some of the basic sleepiness. Your reaction times improve a little, but you don’t overcome the higher-level cognitive issues, like decision-making, learning and memory, and focused attention. He goes on to discuss a futile tactic he sees in his students that he calls ‘sleep bulimia.’ This is where they get too little sleep during the week, then try to binge sleep during the weekend and make up the deficit.

He uses an analogy to describe a negative aspect of napping: Throughout the day we build up a chemical pressure in our brain, a sleepiness pressure, due to the build up of adenosine. The more you build up the sleepier you feel; and after 16-hours of wakefulness, you should fall right asleep and stay asleep for eight-hours, thus releasing the sleepiness pressure. However, when we nap, it’s like we open a valve and let a little of the pressure out. This makes it harder for us to sleep well at night, either by struggling to fall asleep or stay asleep.

Echoing the placebo affect associated with melatonin supplements, if you can nap regularly and sleep well at night, then keep napping. Otherwise, you should avoid napping and build up that sleepiness pressure until you fall asleep at night.

Action Steps for a Good Night’s Sleep

To finish off, Dr. Walker suggests a simple self-improvement test: Give yourself one week of eight-hours of sleep a night. Determine if you feel better when you get eight-hours of regularly scheduled sleep versus a random schedule of five-hours one night, then six-hours the next, and so on. Then ask yourself, “Did that experiment work? Is it in my favor? Do I feel any better? Do I notice that improvement?”

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SHOW NOTES, LINKS, & RESEARCH

[Book] Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker
[DVD] Memento
[Twitter] Matt Walker
[LinkedIn] Matthew Walker
[Website] Sleep Diplomat

Why We Sleep (14min)

  • The incredible benefits of getting enough and the terrible side effects of not getting enough. 

  • The Brain and The Functions of learnings and memory. 

    • Sleep after learning is essential and like hitting the “save” button after learning. We also now know that it’s important even before learning. 

    • Without sleep the memory circuits become blocked up.

  • Examine The Hypothesis of the All Nighter

    • 40% deficit in the ability of the brain to make new memories without sleep.

    • Brain activity is shot almost entirely after sleep deprivation. 

      • He describes it as like Memento the movie. (Great movie BTW)

  • What is it that causes people to get good sleep and how does it affect our brain?

  • What in sleep causes these benefits?

    • As we get older our memory gets work but our sleep does as well and they are related.

  • Sleep is critical for your emotional and mental health

    • On less sleep these areas of the brain become irrational. 

    • Video of a subject illustrates this point. - Subject goes from angry to laughing then back to base in about 20 seconds. 

    • Without sleep you can’t take your foot off the emotional gas pedal.

  • Sleep deprivation is correlated with depression and almost every psychiatric disorder. 

  • The body relies on sleep as well.

    • 75% reduction in NK cell activity even after one bad night of sleep. Immune system will be shot. 

    • Lack of sleep and cancer has been shown to have a strong relationship. 

Matthew on CBS This Morning (6min)

  • ⅔ of Americans do not get their full recommended 8 hours of sleep. 

  • Every disease in developed nations is made worse by lack of sleep.

  • Short Sleep = Shorter Life

  • Brain - builds up a toxic buildup in the brain.

  • Body - No immune system and activities stress chemistry leading to heart disease and cancer. 

  • ALL RESEARCH BASED

  • Naps - A double edged sword. Sleep is not like the bank, you can’t accumulate debt then pay it off as you go about your day. 

  • Sleeping Pills - These are bad!

Secrets of the Sleeping Brain (1hr 41min)

  • Long video that goes deep into some of the topics covered above. 

  • Love the concept that we’ve hit on before that sleep actually allows you to integrate in ideas and learnings into what you’ve been doing prior. 

The Sleep Deprivation Epidemic (6min)

  • Sleep is one of the most important aspects of our life and yet it is increasingly neglected in twenty-first-century society, with devastating consequences. Award-winning professor of neuroscience Matthew Walker provides a fascinating insight into why it is vital we start taking sleep seriously.

Episode Transcript

[00:00:06.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet; bringing the world’s top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fable.


[00:00:19] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success; the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet with more than five million downloads and listeners in over a hundred countries. 


In this episode, we bring back one of our all-time greatest interviews from the archives and share everything you ever wanted to know about sleep, with one of the world’s pre-eminent sleep experts, Dr. Matthew Walker.


This is seriously one of my favorite podcasts that we’ve ever done. Matthew Walker’s work is truly important and impactful. Now more than ever, I think we all need to understand the power of a good night’s rest. 


Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our e-mail list. We have some amazing content on there, along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How To Create Time for What Matters Most In Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com. You can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com. Or if you’re on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word smarter, that’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44-222.


In our previous episode, we shared insightful lessons from selling over a 1,000 companies, what really matters when you’re building a business, how to grow companies and what mistakes to avoid if you want to exit big with our previous guest, Michelle Seiler Tucker.


Now, for our interview with Matthew


[00:01:54] MB: Today, we have another fascinating guest on the show, Dr. Matthew Walker. He’s a professor of neuroscience and psychology at UC Berkeley and a founder and the director of the Center for Human Sleep Science. He’s published over a 100 scientific studies and is the author of the book, Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams, which is currently the number one Amazon bestseller in the neuroscience category. He’s been featured on TV, radio, including CBS’s 60 Minutes, National Geographic and much more.


Matt, welcome to the Science of Success.


[00:02:26] MW: It’s a pleasure to be on Matt. Thank you for having me.


[00:02:28] MB: Well, we’re very excited to have you on here today. I’d love to begin the conversation and talk a little bit about – as I think you’ve called it the sleep deprivation epidemic, and what happens to us when we don’t get enough sleep.


[00:02:43] MW: You’re right. There is currently a global sleep-loss epidemic. This is sweeping developed nations. It’s been underway for probably about 60 or 70 years. We know from surveys back in the 1940s that the average American adult was sleeping 7.9 hours a night. Now we know that number is down to 6 hours and 31 minutes during the week for American adults.


Back in my home country, not much better. It’s 6 hours and 49 minutes on average people are sleeping. Japan seems to be the worse; 6 hours and 22 minutes. I just give you those numbers to reaffirm first this pernicious erosion of sleep that has happened over the past 70 or 80 years as truth. But also, just to take a step back, I think we have to realize that it took mother nature 3.6 million years to put this necessity of 8 hours of sleep in place.


Then we have come along, and in the space of blink of an evolutionary eye; 60, 70 years we’ve locked off maybe 20%, 25% of that sleep amount. How could it not come with deleterious consequences? I think it’s been proudly confirmed that we are in a global sleep-loss state of deficiency, or an epidemic as the CDC and the World Health Organization have called it.


What are the consequences though? Because if it’s not doing us any harm, then why worry? If only that were true, there is demonstrable harm that is underway because of the sleep-loss epidemic. We can start at the big 30,000-foot level and make it a very simple statement based on epidemiological studies from millions of people. That is the shorter your sleep, the shorter your life. Short sleep predicts all-cause mortality.


I think that classical maxim that you may have heard. You can sleep when you’re dead. It’s always struck me as ironic, because if you adopt that mindset, we know from the evidence that you will be both dead sooner, and the quality of that now shorter life will be significantly worse.


If you dig down a little deeper you can say, “Well, if a lack of sleep kills you more quickly, then what is it that is killing you more quickly?” It seems to be just about everything. Every made disease that is killing us in the developed world has causal insignificant links to a lack of sleep. That list currently and tragically includes Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, cardiovascular disease, stroke, diabetes, as well as numerous mental health conditions; depression, bipolar disorder and most recently and sadly, suicide as well.


I think we’re really now starting to understand not just how deathly a lack of sleep is and the current weight of our sleep deprivation, and that elastic band of sleep deprivation can stretch only so far before it snaps. But with also understanding from hard science exactly why a lack of sleep produces such disease, sickness and ill-health within the brain and the body.


[00:06:03] MB: It’s amazing and it’s so important to think about why sleep is so vital. Yet, in today’s society it seems like there is more and more of a push to sleep less, work more, hustle more, do more. How do we combat that?


[00:06:22] MW: There is. I think currently, sleep has an image problem in society, because more often than not, we seem to stigmatize sleep and we suggest that people who are getting sufficient sleep and I actually choose my words quite carefully there. As being lazy, as being slothful, those who get maybe 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night.


People I think are – or some people, I should say. Not all, but some people are perhaps quite proud of the fact of how little sleep that they’re getting and where it almost as though it’s a badge of honor to be celebrated. It’s sad, because for all of the reasons that we’ve just discussed, it’s an ill-advised mentality to expose.


It’s also strange, because if we don’t always have that opinion. I don’t think any of us would look at an infant sleeping during the day and say, “Gosh, what a lazy baby.” We don’t do that, because we know that sleep at that time of life is absolutely non-negotiable. It’s fundamentally necessary. But if you look at the evidence somewhere between infancy and now even childhood, not only do we abandon this notion that sleep is necessary and important, but we give it this terrible stigma.


I think that attitude has to change, and there are many ways in which it has to change. I think part of the problem perhaps is that the science of sleep is actually not being adequately communicated to the public. I think it’s people like myself who are to blame. I’m a sleep scientist, a professional sleep scientist for 20 years now.


I can’t go around wagging the finger at people if people have not been educated by the science that the taxpayer dollars have funded. That was part of the motivation to write the book that I didn’t feel as though there was a book after that gave people a blueprint manifesto of all of the real hard science of sleep.


There are lots of books out there that you can buy about the quick fix, these are the 10 rules to better sleep, or – I got nothing against those types of books, but for me I felt it was important because my sense is that people don’t respond to rules. They respond to reasons rather than rules, and I wanted to give and write a book of reasons for why you should sleep, rather than rules for how to sleep.


[00:09:00] MB: I want to dig a little bit more specifically into some of the negative implications or maybe the flipside of why sleep is so important for certain activities. For somebody who – let’s contextualize this maybe within a framework broadly thinking about, if I want to get more work done people often say, “All right, I’m going to sleep less,” or, “I’m going to pull a all-nighter,” or, “I’m going to cut down on my sleep so I can be more productive,” how does that usually pan out? What does the science say about doing that?


[00:09:31] MW: It doesn’t pan out very well. In fact, the opposite is true; we now know that less sleep does not equal more productivity. There have been lots of laboratory and workplace with these, and they give us five clear truths. Firstly, underslept employees tend to take on less challenging work problems. In other words, they opt for the easy way out. Underslept employees actually produce fewer creative solutions to work problems that they’re facing.


They also actually exert less effort when working in groups, and we’ve done some of these work. They essentially slack off. It’s what we call social-loafing. They write the tale of others and try to claim their hard work is their own.


We also know very interestingly that underslept employees are more likely to lie, cheat and engage in deviant behaviors, such as falsifying a claims, receipts, etc., and it’s a scaling function; the less sleep that you have, the more likely you are to lie and be deviant.


What’s also interesting is that it scales the business hierarchy all the way up to the top. We know that the more or less sleep that a business leader has had, the more or less charismatic their employees will rate that business leader.


Even though the employees themselves know nothing about how much sleep that business leader has had. They can actually see it in the expression of the behavior of their leader. You can then actually scale that up from those that have low-level studies, all the way up to the high-level studies. There was a recent round report, an independent report that demonstrated that chronic exhaustion and fatigue due to a lack of sleep caused most first-world nations about 2% of their GDP. For the United States, that’s 411 billion dollars that we lose each year due to a lack of sleep.


If you can just think about that, if we solve the sleep deprivation problem in the US, we could almost double the budget for education and we could make huge in-roads into the problems that we have with healthcare. Or we could just flat out give people remarkably high tax rebates, simply by solving the sleep-loss epidemic.


I think in response to your question, it’s very clear that underslept individuals are not going to be successful. It’s a little bit like, if you think about your workforce and you’re forcing them to come into work every morning, early and leave very late, so no one is getting enough sleep, it strikes me a little bit like a spin class at a gym.


Everyone in the office looks like they’re working hard, but the scenery never changes, there’s never any forward progression in terms of momentum with productivity and creativity. I think we need to change our attitude in the workplace regarding sleep. The evidence is very clear there.


[00:12:37] MB: Especially around the creativity and the productivity aspect of that. It makes me think almost about the – an applied version of the 80-20 principle, where it’s not necessarily just more hours of work equals more output, but it’s really vital to have quality work, where you’re creative, where you’re bringing a fresh perspective and a well-rested mind. That’s when you really produce value. That’s the 20% that produces 80% of your results. All the busy work and the hustle and muscle, if you don’t get enough sleep, you’re not going to be able to really be incredibly productive.


[00:13:17] MW: I think that that’s very true. Is there a way that we could actually break the classic praetors of 80-20 law that’s common throughout nature and it’s applied to human beings as well? By way of manipulating sleep, could we actually force it to be that it’s 30% or 40% of your workforce that returns now 80% or 90% of the productivity by way of sufficient sleep.


It’s just coming down to the very fact that what is the recycle rate of a human being? I think people have failed in the workplace to actually face this question and ask it. It’s surprising, because people in the workplace are wonderfully astute at trying to squeeze every ounce of effectiveness and efficiency out of all of their systems, be it the budget, be it the tax, be it the hardware, be it the software.


I think we forget about the biological organism at the heart of most companies, the human beings themselves. We have to ask, “How long can an individual be awake before they decline and decline significantly in the productivity, efficiency and effectiveness?” We now know that that evidence, you need 8 hours of sleep, 16 hours – after 16 hours of wakefulness, the cognitive capacities and the physiological capacities of the body starts to decline dramatically in after 20 or 21 hours of being awake. You are as cognitively impaired as someone who would be legally drunk in terms of driving behind the wheel.


There really is a recycle refresh rate of a human being, and we know that and it declines dramatically once you get past that 16. What I’m suggesting there is not 16 hours of work. I’m suggesting that this 8, 9-hour work span, then people need that downtime and they need to get that 8 hours of sleep to reboot and refresh.


[00:15:17] MB: What’s actually happening during that recycling period?


[00:15:22] MW: Well, we know firstly that there are multiple different stages of sleep that we ebb and flow in and out of, throughout a full 8-hour phase. Those different stages of sleeping, the two principle types of sleep, I should note that probably most people are aware of, or what are called non-rapid eye movement sleep, or non-REM sleep, and rapid eye movement sleep or REM sleep, which is the stage principally from which we dream.


Non-REM sleep actually has several sub-stages to it, stages one through four, increasing in the depth of sleep. By the way, it always strikes me as funny that scientists are not a very creative bunch. We have these four stages of deep non-REM sleep, and all we could come up with was stages one through four. Let’s set that side for a second.


We know that all of those different stages of sleep perform different functions end up all necessary. To come back to your question though, exactly what is happening at night? Well, let’s take deep non-REM sleep for a start.  The deepest stages of non-REM sleep. That stage of sleep is actually critical for essentially clearing out all of the metabolic toxins that have been building up in your brain.


Now that may sound a little bit hand-waving, but is actually very hard to get science from animal studies. When we are awake, we are essentially in a form of low-level brain damage. That’s what wakefulness is. We produce a variety of metabolic byproducts as a result of all of that waking brain cell combustion that we’re doing.

It is during sleep at night when we clear that away. What is clearing that away? Well, it turns out that we made a discovery, which is a sewage system in your brain. Now you have a sewage system in your body that you’re probably familiar with called the lymphatic system. But your brain also has one, it’s called the glymphatic system after the cells that produce it or compose the system called glial cells.


That sewage system within the brain, glymphatic system, is not always on, at least not in highest flow capacity. It’s only during sleep and particular deep sleep at night where that cleansing system of the sewage network actually kicks in to high gear. It increases by maybe 2 to 300% relative to when we’re awake.


Why is this important? Well, one of the metabolic toxins that the glymphatic system clears away as we sleep at night is a toxic protein called beta-amyloid. Beta-amyloid is one of the leading candidate causes of Alzheimer’s disease. This is why we know that people who are not getting sufficient sleep across their lifespan are at a far high-risk probability of going on to develop Alzheimer’s disease. The less sleep that you have, the less clearing away of that toxic byproduct. That’s one-way, general way that we know that the brain gets essentially a refresh.


We also know that different cognitive systems and networks within your brain undergo a restoration. For example, we know that learning in memory systems get overhauled. We take information that we recently learned and we transfer it from short to long-term memory during sleep, which is actually like hitting the save button on new memories, so it prevents you from forgetting by cementing and solidifying those memories into long-term story sites.


We also know that there is a clearing out of your short-term memory reservoir. It’s perhaps a little bit like shifting files from a USB stick, so that when you wake up the next day, you have this renewed capacities to start learning and acquiring new facts and information all over again. That’s a more specific way in which the brain actually gets an overhaul at night during sleep.


We also know that the emotional circuits of the brain are changed and modified by sleep. There are deep emotional brain sensors, very old evolutionary centers specifically a structure called the amygdala, which controls the vital flight response. That structure, the amygdala is normally regulated in us higher order primates, human beings specifically, by a part of the brain that sits just above your eyes called the prefrontal cortex, which acts a little bit like the CEO of the brain. It makes very high-level executive top-down control decisions.

When you had a good night of sleep, that part of your frontal lobe has been reconnected to your deep Neanderthal amygdala fight or flight center of the brain. It just regulates it. It’s a little bit like a break to your emotional accelerator pedal. When you don’t get enough sleep, that connection is actually severed and there’s a consequence. You become almost all emotional gas pedal and too little frontal lobe regulatory control brake.

There are many different ways in which sleep generally and very specifically seems to regulate our brain. I could also speak about the different ways that sleep actually reboots multiple systems within the body. That’s certainly the ways in which it refreshes your brain.


[00:20:46] MB: I want to dig into learning productivity and the emotional aspects. But before we do, tell me briefly about the physiological and the body reset aspects of sleep as well.


[00:20:58] MW: Firstly, we know that deep non-REM sleep that we described is perhaps one of the best forms of blood pressure medication that you could ever imagine. It’s during that deep sleep that your heart rate actually drops, your blood pressure will lower. There are a variety of restorative chemicals and hormones that are released, a growth hormone in particular to actually restore the cells within the body. It’s fantastic for the cardiovascular system.


We also know that it regulates your metabolic system, specifically it regulates insulin levels. If you’re not getting sufficient sleep, your blood glucose actually starts to become disrupted. There are [inaudible 00:21:40] now that are taking healthy people with no signs of diabetes. And after one week of five to six hours of sleep a night, their blood sugar is disrupted so profoundly that their doctor would subsequently classify them as being pre-diabetic. That’s how critical sleep is to maintaining the metabolic system.


We also know that sleep is essential for another one of the major systems, the reproductive system. Here I’ll speak frankly about testicles, because we know that men who are routinely getting just 5 to 6 hours a night have significantly smaller testicles than those who are sleeping 8 hours or more.


In addition, men who report getting just 5 or 6 hours of sleep each night have a level of testosterone, which is that of someone 10 years their senior. In other words, a lack of sleep will actually age you by a decade in terms of that aspect of wellness and virility. We see very similar impairment in equivalent reproductive hormones and health, of course by a lack of sleep. It’s not just males who are disrupted in that way.

 

There are a variety of systems within the body. It also regulates appetite and weight and your food consumption. We know for example that those individuals who are not getting enough sleep will have an imbalance in the two hormones that control your hunger and your food intake. Those two hormones are called leptin and ghrelin.


Now leptin sounds like a Hobbit, I know, but trust me they are actually real hormones. Leptin is the hormone that tells your brain you’re satisfied with your food. You’re no longer hungry. You should stop eating. Ghrelin is the antithesis of that. Ghrelin will actually signal to your brain that you are not satisfied by the food that you’ve just eaten, that you are still hungry and that you should eat more.


People who are put on a regiment of just 5 or 6 hours of sleep for one week will have a mocked reduction in leptin, the hormone that says, “You’re fine. You’ve eaten enough, you can stop eating. You’re not hungry.” A mocked increase in the hormone ghrelin, which tells you, “You’re not satisfied with your food. You’re hungry and it’s time to eat more.”


That’s why people will actually eat somewhere between 3 to 500 calories more each day when they’re not getting sufficient sleep. You should also know by the way, it’s not just that you eat more, but what you eat is non-optimal when you’re sleep-deprived. Without sufficient sleep, you actually reach for the heavy-hitting starchy carbohydrates, as well as high-sugar foods and you stay away from the protein-rich foods. In other words, you’ll find yourself reaching for another slice of pizza rather than leafy greens, kale and beans.


It’s not just that you eat more. It’s what you eat that is also detrimental too. I hope that gives people just a little bit of a few brush strokes in terms of the bodily consequences. The one that we probably haven’t mentioned though, which is perhaps most impacted is your immune system. We know that one night of 4 hours of sleep will drop critical anti-cancer fighting immune cells called natural killer cells by 70%, which is a truly remarkable state of immune-deficiency, which happens very quickly within just one night.


Secondly, we also know that the link between a lack of sleep and cancer has now become so strong that the World Health Organization recently classified any form of night-time shift work as a probable cause energy. In other words, jobs that may induce cancer, because of a disruption of your sleep rate rhythms.


We can look to more benign things too. We know that if you’re getting just 5 hours of sleep in the week before you go and get your flu shot, you will only produce 50%, or in fact, less than 50% of the normal antibody response, rendering that flu shot largely ineffective.


Finally, know that if you’re getting just 5 hours of sleep a night, you are 2 to 300% more likely to capture cold, than someone who is getting 8 hours of sleep a night. This was a remarkable study where they quarantined people in a hotel and they had tracked how much sleep that they were getting in the week before. Then they flushed up the nose of all of these individuals; the flu virus. Then in the next few days they looked to see how many of those individuals succumbed to the flu, how many got infected. Then they bucketed them on the basis of how much sleep that they had in the week before, and that’s how they were able to come to that conclusion.


There really isn’t any system within your body, or process within the brain that isn’t wonderfully enhanced by sleep when you get it, or demonstrably impaired when you don’t get enough.


[00:26:58] MB: What a powerful statement. I mean, just that sentence alone really succinctly summarizes the fundamental conclusion that the science is in across nearly every spectrum of the body, the brain, etc., that sleep is incredibly valuable. That 8 hours of sleep specifically is really critical.


[00:27:18] MW: I think it is. I think what we know is that without sleep, there is low energy and disease. With sleep, there is vitality and health. The sleepless epidemic is perhaps the greatest curable disease that no one is really talking about, or effectively trying to solve. I would simply say that the lack of sleep is both the most striking omission in the health conversation of today. All lack of sleep is perhaps a slow form of self-Euthanasia.


[00:27:49] MB: I want to dig back into the relationship. Let’s touch on learning and memory. Tell me a little bit more about the work you’ve done and some of the research around how sleep can improve learning and memory.


[00:28:02] MW: Sleep actually is beneficial for memory in at least three ways that we’ve now discovered and this is the work that we’ve been doing, or some of the work that we do at my sleep center.


First, we know that you need sleep before learning to essentially prepare your brain; perhaps a little bit like a dry sponge, ready to initially soak up new information the next day. We did a study where we tested a very simple hypothesis. Is it wise to pull the all-nighter? Is it a good thing, or a bad thing?


We took a group of individuals and we either gave them a full night of sleep, or we kept them awake throughout the night. Then the next day, we wedged them inside an MRI scanner and then we have them try and learn a whole list of new facts as we were taking snapshots of brain activity. Then we tested them to see how effectively that learning had been.


Firstly, what we found is that when we put those two groups head to head, there was a 40% deficit in the ability of the brain to make new memories without sleep, and just a frame that in context it would simply be the difference between acing an exam and failing it miserably. What we went on to discover from the brain scans however was why the brain was failing to lay down those new memories.


There is a structure in our brains, on the left and the right side called the hippocampus. You can think of the hippocampus a little bit like the memory inbox of the brain. That it’s actually very good at receiving new memory files and holding on to them initially.


When we looked at that structure in those people who’d had a full night of sleep, we saw lots of healthy learning-related activity. Yet, in those people who were sleep deprived, we actually couldn’t find any significant activity whatsoever.


It was almost as though sleep deprivation had shut down your memory inbox as it were and any new incoming files. They were just being bounced. You couldn’t effectively commit new experiences to memory. If people would like to just understand what that means in terms of the hippocampus, I’m sure many people listening have probably seen the movie Memento. In that movie, that gentleman has damage to the brain and specifically to the structure of the hippocampus. From that point forward, he can no longer make any new memories. It is what we call in neurology, densely amnesic.


That part of his brain was the hippocampus and it is the very same structure that your lack of sleep will actually attack and prevent your brain from actually laying down and placing those new memories into a fixed state within the brain. That’s the first way that sleep is good for learning a memory.


You also need sleep not just before learning, but also after learning, but for something different now. Sleep after learning will essentially hit the save button on those new memories. It will essentially solidify those memories into neural architecture of the brain. As we mentioned before, it actually will transfer those memories, almost like packets of information being transferred across the network, from a short-term vulnerable storage site to the more permanent long-term storage center within the brain, which is called the cortex; this wrinkled mass that sits on top of your brain.


That means that when you come back the next day, those memories are protected and safe and you will be able to remember, rather than those memories being vulnerable to being overwritten or lost, for example to the ravage of time. Which mean, that they are ultimately forgotten.


We also know a little bit about how sleep not only transfers memories during sleep, but even strengthens those memories. It’s during sleep that the brain actually replays the information that you’ve recently learned. These are studies done in humans, but also in animals they were actually placing electrodes into the brains of rats and they were having them run around a maze.


As they were running around the maze and learning the maze, all of these different brain cells which fire in a specific signature pattern, which was essentially the imprinting of a memory and it adds different tones to them. It would sound a little bit like “babababam, babababam, babababam.” The brain is imprinting this memory as the rat is running around the maze.


Low and behold, what happens is that when you then let the rats sleep, but keep recording and keep eavesdropping on the brain, what do you think reemerges? It’s exactly the same pattern, “babababam, babababam.” The rat is replaying those memories. What’s incredible however, is that it’s actually replaying them at somewhere between 10 to 20 times faster. Rather than “babababam,” it’s actually, “brrm, brrm, brr, brrm, brrm.” It’s this high-speed fidelity replay. We think that that actually helps score the memory trace into the brain in a strengthened manner, almost like etching on the surface of glass. You’re really strengthening that neural circuit. That’s sleep after learning to strengthen individual memories, and I guess essentially future proof that information within the brain.


There is a final third way that sleep actually helps memory that we’ve discovered, which I think is perhaps most exciting. Sleep doesn’t just simply strengthen individual memories. It’s that strengthening of individual memories by the way that happens during deep, non-rapid eye movement sleep, or dreamless sleep.


Sleep also then actually interconnects those new memories together and interconnects new information with all of your pre-existing back-catalog of autobiographical stored information. Essentially, what sleep is doing and this is actually the work of rapid eye movement sleep of dream sleep, is that you’re starting to collide information together within the brain. This is a bit like group therapy for memories.


What you awake with the next morning is a revised mind-wide web of information within the brain. It’s a new associative network, or at least not a radically new associative network, but it’s an updated and it’s a modified associative network. That’s the reason that you can come back the next day having extracted and divine, creative novel solutions to previously impenetrable problems that you were facing.


It’s probably the reason – I mean, now know this, for example that sleep will actually provide almost a three-fold advantage in problem solving relative to an equivalent time period spent awake. That science is now very well, I think rendered and described.


There probably is a reason that you’re never told to stay awake on a problem and in every language that I’ve inquired about to date, that phrase sleeping on a problem seems to exist. It seems to transcend cultural boundaries. It’s a phenomenon that is common across the globe. I should also note by the way that we – the British, we say you sleep on a problem. I believe and please correct me if anyone knows this, but I believe the French translation is a little closer to you sleep with the problem, rather than you sleep on a problem. I think that says so much about the romantic difference between the British and the French. I’ll digress before I lose my British passport.


[00:35:54] MB: That’s great. Yeah, that’s a funny anecdote and probably true. I’ve seen the phrase creative incubation and some research around creativity, and some of the science behind what you’re describing. To me, it makes so much sense that the more you give the brain the ability to something, and when you come back to that problem, you’re going to be much more creative. You’re going to be much more effective at solving.


[00:36:20] MW: That’s right. It’s not just sleep, by the way. If it’s a complex problem, simple problems tend to benefit from deliberative focused thought. But complex problems, problems where there are maybe 10, 20, 80 different variables and you could think of this as something very crass to you. What type of knife or fork set do you buy? This may be just three or four different variables. Versus, what type of card do you buy, where there is maybe 16 different features of variants that you have to choose between.


Well, the more complex a problem is, the more benefit there is to actually stepping away and stopping consciously thinking about it. That’s where the non-conscious brain seems to go to work. It seems to be able to distill amounts of information that we just can’t consciously juggle all up in the air at the same time when we’re awake. It’s just too much for a working memory.


If you’re to think of perhaps what the extreme version of that non-conscious processing would be, you would probably design a system that looks very similar to sleep. That’s exactly why sleep provides those creative benefits. It’s essentially informational alchemy that occurs overnight.


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[00:39:33] MB: I want to segway now and get into strategies for sleeping more effectively. We’ve talked at length about how important sleep is both from avoiding a tremendous amount of negative consequences, but also in producing a myriad of positive benefits. Tell me about, for somebody who maybe has trouble sleeping, or just in general, what are some of the basic interventions that we can implement in our lives to sleep better?


[00:40:01] MW: These tips I suppose, and again, I’m not just going to tell you the rules. I won’t just try and explain the reasons for each of these rules. I do warn people that some of them are probably not necessarily desirable. It makes me very unpopular, but here they are.


The first overarching rule of course, is that you just have to carve out an 8-hour non-negotiable sleep opportunity every night. It sounds crass and it’s sounds hokie, but I do this in my life as well. I’m not just saying this because I’ve just written a book and I want to practice what I seem to be preaching. But it’s from a very selfish perspective, because I know the evidence so well. If you knew the evidences I do, which and I hope people will do after reading the book, you just wouldn’t do anything different. I don’t want to short a life, I don’t want a life filled disease and pain and sickness and suffering. That’s why I do give myself a non-negotiable 8-hour opportunity every night.


Once you’ve got that in place – I don’t think it’s insurmountable. People are doing wonderful things in terms of actually committing non-negotiable time to exercise, and people are trying to eat more healthily. I don’t think sleep is a lost cause in this regard.


Once you’re getting that opportunity, then I think there are five things that you could do. If there is one thing that you do from all of these tips, it is these; regularity. Go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time, no matter what, no matter whether it’s the weekend, or the weekday. Even if you had a bad night of sleep, still wake up at the same time the next day. Accept that it’s going to be a bit of a tricky day. But then just get to bed early the following evening and then you will reset.


Because if you sleep in late for whatever reason, you’re not going to feel tired until later that following evening, and you start to drift forward in time and it’s called social jetlag. That has marked deleterious consequences to your health and to your sleep. Regularity is key.


The second is temperature. Keep it cool. Keep your bedroom around about 68 degrees is optimal for most people, which is probably colder than you think, or about 18 and a half degrees Celsius. The reason is this, that your body needs to drop its core temperature by about a 2 to 3 degrees Fahrenheit in order to initiate sleep. That’s the reason that you will always find it easier to fall asleep in a room that’s too cold, than too hot. Because at least the cold room is moving your brain and body in the right thermal direction, that it actually wants to go to for sound and healthy long sleep.


Try to keep your temperature in the bedroom cool. Wear socks if you get cold feet. Some people complain about this, so it’s okay to wear those socks, but keep the bedroom cool. Another way that you can exploit this hack is actually to take a hot bath before bed, or a hot shower. The bath is better if you look at the evidence.


Most people think that when they have a hot bath, they get into bed, they’re nice and warm and that’s what lets them fall asleep more easily. It’s actually the opposite. When you get into a bath, all of the blood comes from the core of your body out to the surface, that’s why you get that rosy glow. It’s what’s called mass vasodilation.


Once you get out of the bath with all of that blood near the surface of your skin, you have this huge massive thermal dump. You get this evacuation of heat from the body, which plummets your core temperature, and that’s why you’ll fall asleep more quickly and more soundly.


The third tip is the light, and actually darkness more specifically. We are actually a dark-deprived society in all first-world nations. You need darkness to allow the release of a critical hormone called melatonin. Melatonin will time the normal healthy onset of sleep. If you’ve got lots of light inside of the house during the evening, and especially if you’re looking and staring at those LED screens from phones, tablets, laptops etc., that will actually fool your brain into thinking it is still daytime and it will shut off melatonin, so you won’t be releasing melatonin.


There were studies done where they had people reading on an iPad for one hour before bed. If I was doing that here in California, their data demonstrated that my release and peak of melatonin didn’t happen, or were shifted by three hours forward in time. I would essentially be close to Hawaii in terms of my internal clock timing to sleep, rather than California.


Keep it dim. You can turn down half the lights in the house in the evening. You don’t need all of them on the last hour before bed. Also stay away from screens in the last hour, and try and use black out curtains, that can actually be very helpful.


The fourth tip is not to stay in bed if you have been awake for longer than 20 minutes. This applies to whether you’re trying to fall asleep, or whether you’ve woken up and are trying to fall back asleep. The reason is this, your brain is a remarkably associative device. If you are lying in bed awake, it quickly learns that being in bed is about being awake rather than being asleep.


You need to break that association. After 20 minutes or so, if you haven’t fallen asleep, get up, don’t get too stressed, go to a different room and in dim light, perhaps just read a book, no screens, no eating. Only when you feel sleepy should you return to bed. In that way, you will actually relearn the association between your bed being about being asleep, rather than being awake.


I would note that some people actually don’t like the idea of getting out of bed. It’s dark. Maybe they’re warm and maybe it’s colder in the rest of the house. I understand that. Another way to try and help you get back to sleep that has good proven clinical trial data behind it is actually meditation. I’m actually quite hard know a scientist, and when I was looking into this evidence as I was writing the book, I was really quite skeptical.


The studies were very clear, very well done, some of them out of Stanford here just down the way from me. So much so that I actually started meditating myself and that was seven months ago, and I’m now a regular meditator. If I’m traveling going through jetlag, for example and struggling with sleep, I will actually use a meditation relaxation practice.


The final tip is the one that really makes me deeply – well, deeply unpopular, just generally as a person anyway, but this is the one that really makes me unpopular with people. No caffeine after noon and avoid alcohol in the evenings. Forego and I kept and I’ll explain both. 


Everyone knows of course that caffeine activates you. It’s a class of drugs that we call a stimulants and it can keep people awake. What people may not know however is that for those people who say, “Well, I can drink an espresso after dinner and I force sleep fine and I stay asleep.” That may be true. However, the depth of the deep sleep that you have when caffeine is swirling around within your brain during sleep is nowhere near as deep as if you had not had that cup of coffee in the evening.


As a consequence, people wake up the next morning. They won’t fee refreshed or restored. They don’t remember having a problem falling asleep or staying asleep. They don’t equate it with the cup of coffee they had the night before. But now they find themselves reaching the two cups of coffee, or three cups of coffee in the morning, which essentially is building a dependency and addiction cycle. That’s the issue with caffeine and that’s why the suggestion is stop caffeine midday and certainly after 2 PM.


Alcohol is probably the most misunderstood drug when it comes to sleep. Alcohol is a class of drugs that we call the sedative hypnotics. Sedation is not sleep. Many people will say, “Well, I nightcap, I have a quick whiskey and it puts me to sleep. It’s great.” It’s actually not true. What you’re simply doing is you’re sedating your cortex, you’re knocking out your brain essentially. You’re not getting into natural sleep.


Then there are two more problems with alcohol. Firstly, it will fragment your sleep so you will wake up many more times throughout the night, which leaves you with what we call unrestorative sleep. The final thing is that alcohol is one of the best chemicals that we know blocking your dream sleep, your REM sleep, which is essential for not just creativity and that associative type of memory processing that we spoke about.


REM sleep is also critical for emotional and mental health. It is during REM sleep when we provide our brain a form of emotional first aid, and you won’t be getting that if you’re blocking REM sleep by way of alcohol. Those would be the five tips to better sleep and hopefully they help some folks. I’m also happy to speak a little bit about sleeping pills. They’re also misunderstood, but those would be for most people the five tips that I would offer.


[00:49:28] MB: Great advice. I try to implement as many of those as possible. One of the things, specifically caffeine is something that I used to drink at my peak. About a cup of – I mean, a pot of coffee a day. Now I basically don’t consume any caffeine. When I do, I limit myself, no caffeine afternoon. Maybe one cup of tea is the maximum. I’ve noticed a huge impact on that impact in my sleep. Sorry, were you going to say something?


[00:49:55] MW: Yeah. I’m just going to say, I mean it’s immensely wise and it’s one of the problems with a lack of sleep is that you quickly reset your perception of your effectiveness and your health. You just think, “Well, this is how I am now at this age.” Not realizing that you could actually be a far better version of yourself, both mentally, cognitively and physiologically if you were just to start getting sufficient sleep.


I think many people fail to realize that with caffeine especially that it’s only when they come off caffeine do they really start to feel both the benefits of all of the side effects that normally come with high caffeine use, but especially the benefits on sleep. It’s like wiping a fogged window and you finally can start to see clearly through it.  That’s the benefit of a full restorative night of sleep.


[00:50:46] MB: I have a couple short questions all around specific sleep strategies or tactics. Let’s start with – you touched on sleeping pills. Tell me about sleeping pills. Do they work? If so, why or why not?


[00:51:00] MW: There are no sleeping medications that we have currently that produce naturalistic sleep. The current class of drugs that you will be prescribed are called sedative hypnotics. Again, as we mentioned with alcohol, sedation is not sleep. The sleep that you have when you’re on sleeping pills, if I were to show you the electrical signature of your sleep if you would come to my laboratory, it would not be the same on sleeping pills as it would be if you’re just having naturalistic healthy sleep. That’s the first thing.


The second thing, and I go to great lengths and a whole chapter in the book to discuss this, is that people are probably not aware of the risks of sleeping pills. They have not been communicated to public adequately. Firstly, we know that sleeping pills are associated with a far higher risk of death. They’re also associated with a significantly high risk of cancer and infection.


Now, we don’t yet know if this is causal versus simply associational, but what I wanted to do is to try to get that information out to the public, so they at least could be armed with the knowledge and make an informed choice with that doctor when they go and see the surgery. That’s I think one of the biggest problems of sleeping pills is that the misunderstood nature about what they give you and the dangers.


People also don’t necessarily have to be taking sleeping pills, I should note. There is a safe and non-pharmacological alternative which is just as effective. It is called cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, or CBTI for short. You work with a therapist for a couple of weeks. As I mentioned, it’s just as powerful as sleeping in the short-term, but better still, once you finish that short therapy phase, you continue to maintain that better sleep. Unlike sleeping pills, when you come off those you tend to actually have what’s called rebound insomnia, where your sleep is as bad, if not worse than when you started.


I think people can revisit their sleep issues with their doctor. I’m not trying to shame people who are on sleeping pills. I’m not trying to make you feel bad if you are. I’m very sensitive to the desire for better sleep and I’m so sensitive to the issue of insomnia, or the desperate, desperate state. You should be aware of what sleeping pills are, what they do and what the alternatives are.


[00:53:26] MB: What about taking a melatonin supplement?


[00:53:29] MW: Melatonin is useful in the circumstance of jetlag to try and reset your body clock in a new time zone. You should take it 30 to 60 minutes before you want to get to sleep in the new time zone. Melatonin works to essentially time the onset of your sleep. I guess, the analogy would be if you think about the 100-meter race in the Olympics. Well, melatonin is the starting official who has the starter gun.


It’s melatonin that brings all of the different ingredients off the sleep race to the starting line, then starts the race in its entirety. It begins the sleep race. Melatonin itself does not actually participate in the race of sleep, in the generation of that sleep race. That’s a whole different set of chemicals. As a consequence, that’s why actually melatonin when you are in a new time zone and you’re stable now in that new time zone, if you’re a young healthy individual, then melatonin actually isn’t effective as a sleeping aid. It doesn’t actually help if you look at the studies.


That said, I would note that for those people who are taking melatonin and they feel as though it helps their sleep, well then I usually tell people continue on. It’s because the placebo effect is one of the most reliable effects in all pharmacology. No harm, no foul if you think it’s working for you.


[00:54:58] MB: What about napping? Is napping something – if you’re sleep-deprived, can you catch up with a nap?


[00:55:04] MW: Unfortunately, you cannot catch up on sleep. Sleep is not like the bank. This is another myth that I try to deconstruct in the book. You can’t accumulate a debt, let’s say during the week and then hope to pay it off at the weekend. Sleep just doesn’t work like that. There is no credit system, or there is no credit sleep sell within the brain.


You can if you are sleep-deprived, take a nap and overcome some of the basic sleepiness. Your reaction times will improve a little bit after a nap, but you don’t actually overcome all of the higher level, cognitive issues such as decision-making, learning in memory, focused attention, all of those types of things that we know are would buckle and collapse by way of a lack of sleep. Naps just don’t seem to be able to overcome those.


You can’t overcome – you can’t bank sleep and you can’t sleep off a debt. I see this in my students. It’s what I would call sleep bulimia, which is where they’re binging on sleep at the weekend and they’re – try and taking too little sleep during the week. It’s this binge purge kind of cycle.

I would also say naps, just more generally are a double-edged sword. If during the day when we’re awake, we actually build up a chemical pressure in our brain. It’s a sleepiness pressure. Now, it’s a hydraulic pressure, don’t worry. As I said, it’s a chemical pressure.  The chemical that builds up is called adenosine. The more of that sleepiness chemical that you have, the more and more sleepy that you will feel. After about 16 hours of being awake, you’re nice and tired and then you should fall asleep and stay asleep for about 8 hours.


When we sleep, we remove that sleepiness pressure. It’s almost like a valve on a pressure cooker. We release that sleepiness steam as it were. This is where I come back to naps. If you nap too late in the day, you actually release some of that healthy sleepiness, which means that when it comes time to sleep normally at night, you may actually struggle to fall asleep, or at least stay asleep.


The advice would be this, if you are someone who can nap regularly and you don’t struggle with your sleep at night, then naps are just fine. But if you can’t nap regularly and/or you’re having difficulties with your sleep at night then the advice is you shouldn’t nap, you should stay awake, build up that healthy sleepiness, and then you will have a better night of sleep because of it.


[00:57:40] MB: What about someone who’s in a situation, let’s say like a new parent. Is there anything that they can go through obviously, very chronically sleep-deprived state? Is there any strategy for them to be able to implement, that would help them battle through that in some way?


[00:57:55] MW: Some parents describe trying to work better shifts and what I mean by that is in two ways. Firstly, some parents will try to take early, the early shift and then the late shift, the first half of the night versus the second half of the night and switch between those two. Another way that you can do that on an informed choice is try to determine whether you are a night owl, or you’re a morning type, what we call a lock. That’s a genetically predisposed. It’s called your chrono type.


If you are someone who likes to go to bed late and wake up late, versus someone who likes to go to bed early and wake up early, that’s not a choice. That’s a genetic mandate that’s being given to you in your DNA code. You can try to ask in the couple, are you someone who would prefer to wake up early and go to bed early? In which case, could you take the morning shift, the late morning shift?


If I’m someone who likes to go to bed late and wake up late, well then it’s easier for me to actually take the first half of the night and then sleep for the second half of the morning and sleep late. You can think about split shifts like that. Some people will also flip-flop back and forth. Some people will say, “Well, I’ll take the next two nights and you get good sleep, then we switch over and you take two nights.” They try to mix and match it in that way too. It’s a desperately difficult situation.


In part, we would not actually design to be family units like this, if you look at hunter-gatherer tribes who have not been touched by the electrical influence, then they actually tend to sleep in groups. Restless legs dangling all over the place, arms intertwined. Whole families would sleep together and people would take turns in terms of caring for the young. It’s a lot to ask of parents, and those are some of the ways that you can try to overcome it.


[00:59:56] MB: One other question and this is out of left field a little bit. I’m curious, have you seen or studied around the neurotransmitter GABA and its relationship with sleep?


[01:00:07] MW: GABA is the principle inhibitory neurotransmitter of the brain. The way that most sleeping medications work right now and you can just name your favorite one and it will work in this way, is by essentially trying to activate the receptors in the brain for GABA. Those receptors essentially are like the red lights on your neurons. They stop them firing, they stop them from going.


Drugs that try to target the GABA system within the brain are really quite blunt instruments and that’s why sleeping pills, which act exactly in this way are really not precise tools. Sleep is a remarkably complex neuro-physiological and neuro-chemical ballet if you look at it. All of these different stages of sleep, neurotransmitters going up and down and brain networks ebbing and flowing.


To think that you can essentially recreate something that is so complex and so bi-directional sleep by simply just knocking the brain out and switching it off using GABA receptors is really just – it’s an unfortunate outcome of how poor our pharmacology is in this day and age. We just don’t yet have the pharmacological precision and sophistication to mimic sleep at this stage.


[01:01:32] MB: What’s one piece of homework that you would give to a listener who wants to sleep better?


[01:01:39] MW: I would say try giving yourself one week of 8 hours of sleep and see if you feel any better. Just give it as self-improvement test. Try it as a hack, that if you are one of those people who are into the quantified self-movement and you’re into self-experimentation then just test out all of that what you’ve just heard in the past week and just determine if you feel any better when you’re sleeping 8 hours every night and you’ve regular each and every night. Versus a staccato sleep schedule where you’re sleeping 5 hours and 6 hours and 12 hours and then 5 hours again. Just ask yourself, “Did that experiment work? Is it in my favor? Do I feel any better and do I notice that improvement?”


[01:02:29] MB: For listeners who want to learn more and want to find you and your book online, what’s the best place to do that?


[01:02:36] MW: They can find the book, which is called Why We Sleep. They can find that online. Amazon holds it. You can find it from all of your major bookstores, both the major brands, as well as all of the independent. It’s on the list of most libraries too. If you don’t want to part with your money, my publisher would probably won’t like me saying that, but I read online, it’s about the knowledge of the book, not the sales.


If you want to learn more about the work that I do, you can follow me on social media. I am at sleepdiplomat, all one word. Sleepdiplomat. I’m on Twitter and also you can find me on LinkedIn. Also, on the web I am at – it is www.sleepdiplomat.com.


[01:03:21] MB: Well, Matt. This has been a fascinating conversation. So much great information, practical strategies, tons and tons of science. Really appreciate it. Incredible insights. Thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing all of these wisdom.


[01:03:36] MW: Well, thank you and I have to say a real thanks to you too. It’s not just what people say at the end of these interviews, but I’m trying to fight this battle for sleep. I can only do so much by getting on shows or television, radio or writing a book for example. I need fantastic journalists and media and genius types to actually join and partner with me to get this message out. I too just want to thank you, Matt. Thank you for being part of the sleep mission.


I’m going to grant you now the title of being a sleep ambassador for having me on the show. Thank you very much. Sincerely, I really want to thank you. I desperately need to get this message out. This portal is a remarkable way to proclaim the virtues of sleep. Thank you.


[01:04:25] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My email is matt@successpodcast.com. That's M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I'd love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail. 


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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.


November 05, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Best Of, High Performance, Health & Wellness
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Insider Lessons from selling over 1000 companies with Michelle Seiler Tucker

October 29, 2020 by Lace Gilger

Michelle Seiler Tucker is the author of EXIT RICH: The 6 P Method to Sell Your Business for Huge Profit and the Founder and CEO of Seiler Tucker Incorporated. She has sold hundreds of businesses to date and currently owns and operates several successful businesses. She is a leading authority on buying, selling, and improving businesses, as well as increasing business revenue streams. She has appeared in Forbes, Inc., CNBC, and Fox Business (starts at 8:35 minutes). She has also been a “celebrity judge” on “Pitch Tank” alongside Steve Forbes and Whole Foods CEO John Mackey. She lives in New Orleans.

  • 8 out of 10 businesses do not sell or will not sell

  • Sold over 1000 companies

  • Why do 80% of businesses listed for sale NEVER Sell?

  • The best time to sell your business is when your business is doing well.

  • Beginning with the end game and reverse engineer it. Begin with the end in mind.

    • How much do you want to sell for?

    • Who are you selling to?

  • Most business owners have no clue what their business is worth today.

  • Know who your buyers are going to be and reverse engineer

  • 5 different types of business buyers

    • First Time Buyers: 90% of buyers are first time buyers

    • Private Equity Buyers

      • Platform

        • $3mm and up in EBITDA

      • Add-on

        • They will look at add ons with under $1mm in EBITDA

    • Strategics / Competitors

      • They buy synergies and economies of scale, things that can catapult their business to the next level

      • Strategics are willing to pay more if they can access a synergy

    • Sophisticated Serial Entrepreneurs

      • Industry agnostic

      • EBITDA focused

    • Turnaround Specialists

      • Buy distressed assets

  • 6 different synergies that a buyer is looking for - the “six Ps"

    • People - you need to have a management team in place and buyers will pay more for it.

    • Product - is your industry growing or dying? What business should I be in? And what business are we in?

    • Processes - are they efficient, are they productive, etc? Are they designed with the customer experience in mind?

    • Proprietary - intellectual property, branding, federal trademark, patents, contracts, databases, etc. (#1 Value Driver!!)

    • Patrons - have a diversified client base - this is key

    • Profit - profit is never the problem, it’s always a symptom of one of the other five Ps.

  • **PUT A TRANSFER CLAUSE IN ALL OF YOUR CONTRACTS**

  • Databases are a HUGE value driver. Facebook paid $19bn for that What’s App when they had zero revenue.

  • The reason why businesses fail is that business owners stop doing two things

    • They stop innovating

    • They stop marketing

  • You don’t build a company, you build people, and people build a company.

  • The #1 reason businesses don’t sell is because seller expectations are too high. It’s always based on what they want to do next, not what the business is worth.

  • A buyer will only pay if they see VALUE in it for themselves. Buyers have a sanity check, they won’t overpay for something if they don’t see the value there.

  • If it’s not the right time for you to sell, then you need to build and plan your exit.

  • How do you reverse engineer your business to be purchase for the maximum value?

    • Start looking at what buyers are buying in your industry

    • Pick an advisor who deals with these kinds of buyers every day

  • What are the BIGGEST MISTAKES people make when selling their businesses?

    • Not planning their exit

    • Working in their business instead of on their business. Make the business run without you.

      • Focus on your strengths and hire your weaknesses

    • Don’t be a firefighter in the weeds of the business

    • Not knowing your financials

    • 1099ing your W2s

  • Buy-side tips and tricks

    • First Time Buyer

      • Get crystal clear on your financials and how much you’re willing to put down

      • What are your strengths, what are your weaknesses?

      • Find an advisor to work with you

    • Serial Entrepreneurs

      • Work with an advisor

      • Go find businesses that are barely holding on and use the businesses assets to buy it

        • Factoring loan, SBA loan, etc

        • Finance it based on the assets

      • “Use the assets of the company to buy the company"

        • Use the company’s checking/cash balance to pay the seller and seller finance the rest of it over 3-5 years

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Michelle’s Website

  • Michelle’s LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram

  • Seiler Tucker Academy

Media

Michelle’s Site News Directory

  • Michelle’s Podcast - Find Your Exit: An Introduction

  • Entrepreneur - “All About Anchor Statements: What They Are, Why You Need One, How to Write One” by Karen Tiber Leland

  • Business.com - “Let It Go: What You Need to Know About Selling Your Small Business” by Anna Johansson

  • World Class Magazines - “Quit Your Job, Buy a Business” by katrina World

  • [Podcast] Angels, Exits, & Acquisitions - 28. Michelle Seiler Tucker, Founder & CEO of Seiler Tucker

  • [Podcast] Significance Breeds Success - Daniel Puder | Michelle Seiler Tucker | Buying a Business | #podsessions #29

  • [Podcast] THE PLAY BIG MOVEMENT - Building a Business that Works for You with Michelle Seiler-Tucker

Videos

  • Michelle’s YouTube Channel

  • Michelle Seiler-Tucker talking with Eric Trump

  • HECTOR CASTILLO Media - PREPARE TO SELL YOUR BUSINESS FOR MORE MICHELLE SEILER TUCKER

  • Ronald Couming - Michelle Seiler Tucker, Success Secrets Revealed, Ronald Couming, SEO Internet Marketing Specialist

  • WLAETV - Ringside: Politics with a Punch! Kenneth Moore and Michelle Seiler Tucker 10/12/18

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • Exit Rich Book Site

  • Exit Rich: The 6 P Method to Sell Your Business for Huge Profit by Michelle Seiler Tucker and Sharon Lechter | Jan 26, 2021

  • Sell Your Business For More Than It's Worth by Michelle Seiler-Tucker

Misc

  • [SoS Episode] Roland Frasier: How To Build Lasting Wealth, Influence, and Happiness

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 


[00:00:19] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet, with more than 5 million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. In this episode, we share insightful lessons from selling over a thousand companies. What really matters when you're building a business, how to grow a company, and what mistakes to avoid if you want to exit big, with our guest Michelle Seiler Tucker. 


Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our email list. We have some amazing content on there, along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time for What Matters Most in Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com. You can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com. Or if you're on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word smarter, that’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R, to the number 44222. 


In our previous episode, we shared some incredible lessons on scaling and building big digital content brands with our previous guest, Victoria Montgomery-Brown. Now, our interview with Michelle. 


[00:01:41] MB: Michelle Seiler Tucker is the author of Exit Rich: The 6P Method to Sell Your Business for Huge Profit and the Founder and CEO of Seiler Tucker Incorporated. She has sold hundreds of businesses today and currently owns and operates several successful companies. She is a leading authority on buying, selling, and improving businesses, as well as increasing revenue. She’s appeared in Forbes, CNBC, Fox Business, and has been a celebrity judge on Pitch Tank, alongside Steve Forbes and previous Science of Success guest, John Mackey.


Michelle, welcome to the Science of Success. 


[00:02:14] MST: Thank you, Matt. It’s a pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me. 


[00:02:16] MB: Well, we’re super excited to have you on the show today. M&A is one of my own personal kind of favorite topics, and so I’m really excited to dig into all of the lessons and strategies that you've uncovered. But I'd love to, before we really get into the meat of it, just hear a little bit about your background and how you got into the M&A world. 


[00:02:37] MST: Sure. So I’ve always been an entrepreneur at heart. I started – I think I had my first business at the age of 15. But then I kind of got stuck in the corporate America where I started working for Xerox. Within six months of Xerox, they wanted me to interview for regional manager over 85 salespeople and they tell me, “You’ll never get the job but you should do it for the experience.” So I get it. My nickname at Xerox was ‘The Closer.’


Anyway, I interviewed for it. I did get the position. So I was traveling all the time and I wasn't selling anymore. I was managing 85 salespeople. I opposed a franchise company about buying one of the franchises to operate on the side while I still worked at Xerox. They said, “We don’t want you to buy a franchise. We’ll give you a franchise if you partner with us.” So I ended up doing that. I ended up partnering with them for about six months while I still worked at Xerox and ended up making more money in six months. I made an entire year with my corporate job and ended up leaving Xerox. 


So I went into franchise development, franchise sales, and franchise consulting. From there, I ended up – They bought me out after a period of time, and then I transitioned into mergers and acquisitions and started selling businesses. I learned very quickly though and Steve Forbes says 8/10 businesses will not sell. 8/10 businesses do not sell for a multitude of reasons. Then I transitioned into fixing businesses, growing businesses, and building to sell companies, so they actually will sell and not close. 


That’s kind of how I transitioned into it. I’ve been doing it for 20 years. I sold over a thousand companies and I also buy businesses. I partner with business owners and I help save businesses from closing. 


[00:04:23] MB: Such a cool background and I love that quote. I've heard various statistics, whether it’s 80%, 90% of businesses that are listed never sell. So interesting. Tell me a little bit more about why that’s the case. 


[00:04:37] MST: I think the number one reason why that's the case is that business owners never think about selling, Matt. They never think about selling until they absolutely have to due to a catastrophic event occurring, and that could be an internal or an external catastrophic event that occurs. The problem when that happens is that the business is typically trending downward and not upward, and the business is not really doing as well. Buyers typically don’t want to buy businesses that are failing. They want to buy businesses that are doing well. I mean, the best time to sell your business is when your business is doing good and trending upwards. 


So I would tell you in all the years I've been doing this, thousands upon thousands of businesses, I’ve never met any business owner that truly plans their exit from day one, and that’s what business owners should do. 


[00:05:26] MB: That’s such a great insight. When you think about whether it's starting a company or buying a company day one, how do you start to prepare that company for exit? 


[00:05:37] MST: Yup. I talk about this in Exit Rich at great length. I call it the ST, Seiler Tucker GPS exit model. It’s really all about starting with the end game and reverse engineering it. So kind of like GPS, what do you do? You know where you’re starting from. At GPS, you plug in your destination, and then the GPS plans out the quickest path to get you there. Well, with a business owner, they need to plan out. I want to sell my business for five million dollars. What time frame do I want to sell that for? I want to sell my business for five million dollars in five years. Well, what is your business worth right now? 


You would be surprised, Matt, how many business owners have absolutely 1,000% no idea what their business is worth today. Most business owners navigate valuation on their business until they think about selling when what you really should be doing is getting business valuation every year in order to get you to that end game. So it’s really important to plan your final destination, your final sales price, know where you’re starting from, know your timeframe, and know who your buyers are going to be. There’s five different types of buyers. 


So if you are in a manufacturing business and you want to sell for $20 million, that’s your end game, and you really need to figure out, well, who buys manufacturing businesses? Who buys manufacturing businesses for $20 million? It’s not going to be a first-time buyer. It’s not going to be turnaround specialist. It’s probably going to be a private equity group. If it’s a private equity group, then your EBITDA needs to be over $3 million. So you really need to figure out who your buyer is going to be and then build your business to suit their buying criteria. Does that make sense?


[00:07:17] MB: Yeah. No, that’s a great insight, and I want to dig into a couple pieces of that. Let's start with – You touched on a few of these, but tell me more about the different buyer types. 


[00:07:27] MST: Yes. So there’s five types of number. Number one is first-time buyers. 90% of buyers are first-time buyers. Then there’s private equity groups, PEGS. Private equity groups buy two ways. Private equity groups buy based upon platform and add-on. So platform means that a private equity group wants to get into manufacturing. Let’s say they want to get into food manufacturing, but they don't have that now, so they will buy a big enough company with an EBITDA of at least three million dollars and up for a platform. Now, let’s say they’re already in food manufacturing. They now look at add-ons for their platform and they’ll consider companies under a million dollars in EBITDA for add-ons but never for a platform. Does that make sense?


[00:08:19] MB: Absolutely. 


[00:08:20] MST: And then you have your strategics/competitors. Now strategics and competitors buy synergies. They are looking for those synergies. They are looking for economies of scale. They're looking for something that they currently don't have that could kind of put their business to the next level. For instance, we had an oil manufacturing business that had a couple of patents and a price at a $9.8 million range. We had 550 interested buyers. We got it down to about 12 different LOIs. We found a strategic who had a similar product and service, but they were never able to get into BP. 


This client, 60% of their revenue was tied up in BP and a very good relationship with them. This buyer wanted to buy that contract because they knew if they could buy this company, finally get their foot in the door to get their products and services in BP, they could not only LOI off of that business but catapult their business to the next level. So they paid $15 million for 70% of the company. There were two owners. One retained 30%, plus his benefits, plus his salary, and that company was able to get their products and services into BP. So strategics and competitors are always looking for that competitive edge. They’re always looking for that synergy and they’re willing to pay more. That’s where bidding work comes in. They want to pay more and not bet everybody else to buying that particular synergy, especially if it can help their existing business or if it can help them with the economy of scales. They could perhaps buy a business and cut operating costs by 50% because they have the team. They have distribution centers. They have fulfillment centers. They have everything that could cut the cost of the current company that they want to purchase. So those are competitors and strategics. 


The fourth type of buyers are sophisticateds, serial entrepreneurs. Now, these buyers are industry agnostic. They care more about EBITDA. They’re really EBITDA-focused and they don’t really care. We have serial entrepreneurs. They have hospitals, construction, casinos. It’s all over the map, and many of these serial entrepreneurs will give us LOIs on all of our new engagements because they are EBITDA-focused and not industry-focused. 


Then your last type of buyer is turnaround specialist. Those are buyers that are looking to buy distressed assets, and right now there’s a lot of distressed assets with COVID. There were a lot of distressed assets before COVID but there are a lot more now. So a turnaround specialist will buy these distressed assets. Those are the five types of buyers. 


[00:11:05] MB: Got it. That was really insightful, and I love some of the examples and stories you gave around how strategics just kind of think differently about acquisitions to maybe pay a higher price, etc. I'm curious, when you look at, for example – Maybe we’re getting into the weeds. But when you look at sophisticated serial entrepreneurs as a buyer type, when you say they’re more EBITDA-focused, does that tend to be more focused on value, i.e., they're not willing to pay over five times or seven times or whatever that multiple might be? Are they focused on certain lower middle market up to larger scale? Kind of where typically are you seeing kind of that segment focus?


[00:11:41] MST: Yeah. So for sophisticateds, typically lower middle market and up, it just depends. They’re not as willing to pay a higher multiple as a strategic is or as a competitor or maybe even a PEG who’s looking for some add-ons. The reason for that is because they’re so industry-diverse that buying that one synergy doesn't really help them in their specific businesses. Does that make sense? Because they are so industry-diverse, whereas when you get a strategic or a competitor. 


Right now, we have an online e-commerce business that we’re selling, and the company that’s looking at buying them has multiple fulfillment centers around the country. They could – Because of economy of scale, they could cut that cost in half. They could cut that cost in half and really increase their EBITDA, double the EBITDA overnight because of the fulfillment centers that they have. So strategics and competitors are much more willing to put a value on those synergies, and there are six different type of synergies we really look at. 


[00:12:46] MB: Tell me about those.


[00:12:49] MST: I was waiting for you to ask. So we talk about this in Exit Rich as well, and those are called the 6Ps. Every time we go and value a business, I always look at the six Ps. I just met with a construction company has that will probably sell in the $70 million range. Their EBITDA is over 12 million. The six Ps, number one is people. You cannot operate a business without people. You don't build a business. You build people, and people build the business. So you have to have the right people in the right seats and you have to have management team in place. Buyers don't want to buy a job. They want to buy a business with people. 


Let me tell you something. That’s a synergy that a lot of buyers are willing to pay more for. If a company has huge talent – We once merged an advertising agency that specialize in casinos with another advertising agency because they had talent that this other advertising agency really wanted to pay for. So we always look at people. Do we have the right people in right seats? Do we have a management team in place? Is the business dependent upon the owner? If the business is dependent upon the owner, that could hurt the value of the sell or the buyer might want to buy a percentage of the business and not 100% of it. We also look at how long those people have been there, are the employee handbooks in place? Did they have non-competes? What’s their packages look like?


The second P is product. So every one of your listeners right now, Matt, should be asking themselves, “Is my industry on the way up or on the way out? Is my product thriving or dying?” Before COVID, there were industries that were thriving. After COVID, those industries were now dying and vice versa. Hospitality, restaurants are doing terrible right now, but manufacturing that wasn't doing really well before COVID is huge right now and doing fantastic. Healthcare is doing great. There are a lot of industries that are thriving right now, so you always have to ask yourself, is your industry on a way up or on a way out? Are you a Blockbuster or are you an Amazon? 


If your product is on their way out, then ask yourself. What business am I in right now and what business should I be in? Let me illustrate that point for you. Steve Jobs, not founder of Apple. Steve Wozniak. Steve Jobs founded Apple. But Steve Jobs, when he came back to Apple, he asked one brilliant question. He asked everybody, “What business are we in,” and they all said, “The computer business.” He said, “No. What business are we in,” and they said, “The computer business.” He’s like, “What business should we be in? We should be in the communications business.” Everyone around the world should have one of these. Everyone around the world should be able to communicate with each other from their pocket. That's how the iPhone was created. That's how that iPod, the iPad, the i everything was created because of that one question alone. 


Business owners need to learn how to pivot. I don’t know if you know this. But when I wrote my first book, Sell Your Business for More Than It’s Worth, in 2013, I did the research and learned that 85 to 95% of all startups would fail, all Startups within one to five years. When I wrote Exit Rich in 2019, I did the same research and I was flabbergasted that the business landscape has changed so dramatically. It’s not that anymore. Now, it's only 30% of startups are at risk, only 30%. But out of 26.9 million companies – Now, put that in perspective. There are 30.2 million businesses in the United States, employing over half the US workforce. If small businesses fail, the economy fails. Out of 27.6 million businesses, those businesses that have in business 10 years or longer, 70% of those companies will go out of business, 70%. 


You hear about the big box stores all the time; JCPenney's, Toys’R’Us, DineMart. GNC just closed down 900 locations, Kmart. What you're not hearing about are the private companies. On every street corner and every town and every state across our great nation, these businesses are dropping like flies and they’re having to sell for pennies on the dollar, close their business, or be forced into filing for bankruptcy. When you lose your business assets, you typically lose your family assets too because most business owners comingle their assets. 


So it does not have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom. The reason why businesses are failing, and I’ll get back to the six Ps is because business owners stop doing two things. I call it. They stop aiming. They stop innovating and marketing. They become complacent. They have a product. They have a service. They don't do anything to pivot. They stop asking their customers what do you want, what do you need, what will make it easy for you to do business with us. Whoever makes it easiest for the consumer to do business with them are the ones who are going to win. Amazon is winning because they make it so easy to buy anything at any time and get it delivered in two days. Business owners have stopped asking those questions, so product was the second P. So you have to ask yourself what business are you in, what business should you be in. You have to pivot and you have to innovate a market. 


Then the third P that we evaluate businesses on are processes. Are their process as efficient? Are they productive? Processes can break a company. They can bankrupt a company. They can cause huge customer dissatisfaction and completely bankrupt the company. You got to ask yourself? Are your processes efficient? Are they productive? Are they on PPP manuals? Are they in SOP checklist? Are the employees trained on them? Now, here’s the most important thing about processes. Are they designed with the customer experience in mind?


Did you ever watch the movie The Founder? 


[00:18:47] MB: Yeah, a great movie. 


[00:18:48] MST: Great movie. The McDonald brothers, right? Not Ray Crockett, the McDonald brothers went to an empty tennis court field and practiced for hours upon hours upon hours their processes; who’s going to take the order, who’s going to toast the buns, who’s going to cook the burger, who’s going to put the mustard on there, who’s going to put the two pickles, and who’s going to back it up and give it to the client with the customer experience in mind. What were they trying to create back in those days? Remember, that was back in the ‘50s. They were trying to create quality food speed, right? Very quickly because they had to drive up restaurants back then, and it was very, very slow. Their USP, their unique selling proposition was speed. Good food that tastes good fast, right? You got to make sure that you design your processes with the customer experience in mind. 


Then the fourth P, which really, Matt, is probably the highest value driver, and we talk about this in Exit Rich, is proprietary, proprietary, intellectual property. There are six pillars of proprietary. I’m not going to get into all of them, but number one is branding. How well-branded are you? It’s very important for business owners to brand themselves and brand their company. Steve Jobs did a great job of branding himself and branding Apple. You got to ask yourself how well-branded you are because the Coca-Cola brand alone was up for $89 billion. That's without assets, inventory, cash flow, real estate. McDonald's alone, their brand is worth I think over 100 billion. 


The biggest brand – You know what the biggest brand is? 


[00:20:25] MB: I would’ve guessed either Coke or McDonald’s, so you’ve got me. 


[00:20:28] MST: Apple, 360 billion. 


[00:20:31] MB: Makes sense. 


[00:20:32] MST: 360 billion, yup. So it's really important to build the brand. It’s very important to trademark your company name, federal trademark, federal trademark. So any of your listeners that have a company, make sure you get a federal trademark. Local trademark is not good enough. You could find yourself in court, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to protect your name, trying to protect your slogan, trying to protect your intellectual property. So make sure you get federal trademarks. 


Also, if you have something unique in place, get patents. Patents are huge value drivers. We once sold a company. They had 18 patents. The price was in the $10 million range. We got $18 million for it. I say we got a million dollars of patent. That, by the way, is for 80% of the company. Those are really important; branding, federal trademarks, patents. Now, here’s a big one for your listeners, contracts, contracts, client contracts. So we’re selling a manufacturing company right now and they’re manufacturing in Canada and they have no contract in place and they have no backup plan. 


[00:21:40] MB: That’s crazy. 


[00:21:40] MST: If something happens in Canada, exactly. These are the type of stories you hear all the time. You’d be surprised. I mean, we can just have a show on the mistakes that business owners make, and it would take hours upon hours to take all the mistakes. But you have to have contracts. You have to have distributor contracts, manufacturing contracts, vendor contracts. Most importantly, the biggest value driver is client contracts. But the biggest mistake the business owners make, I will tell you 99% of business owners get this wrong, they do not put a simple transfer clause in their contracts. 


[00:22:15] MB: Very smart. 


[00:22:16] MST: And 99.9% of all sales or asset sales, not stock sales. Those contracts are not transferable and the buyer won’t do a stock sell. Most buyers don't want to do stock sells for a multitude of reasons. Then you’re in trouble. We sold a medical transportation company in Kansas City, and they had about, I don’t know, 300, 400, 500 contracts. And I told them from the beginning, go back and enter that clause. They never did, but they told me they did, so they lied to me. Then I had a buyer. We’re going through due diligence. I’m like, “Where is the transferability clause?” They go, “Oh. Well, we meant to get to that.” So my client’s like, “It’s dead. It’s a dead deal.” I ended up getting my client, the buyer, to agree to do a stock sell. But you got to make sure that those contracts are transferable. 


The other thing that’s a really, really big value driver and nobody thinks about this is data basis. 


[00:23:12] MB: Huge. 


[00:23:13] MST: Facebook paid $19 billion for WhatsApp, 19 billion. And WhatsApp was making how much money?


[00:23:21] MB: I have no idea. 


[00:23:22] MST: Zero. They were hemorrhaging. They were losing money like crazy. But they had a billion users, and Facebook knew that’s a synergy that could catapult Facebook to the next level if we buy WhatsApp. If you’re $19, you get a billion users. So databases are huge. Another thing that’s really big and let’s say there are some e-commerce clients that you have there listening and let’s say they have one of the number one spots in Wayfair or they’re selling products on Amazon and they have that competitive edge because they’re the only one selling this gadget or they’re number two on Wayfair or they have Glenn Beck selling their product, product endorsements. That is all what we call business real estate that’s extremely valuable, and buyers will pay a premium for that. IP is the number one value driver. 


The fourth P is patrons. That’s very imperative to have a diversified clientele base because if 70 or 80% of your revenue is tied up into one, two, or three clients, you're in big trouble. That advertising company I told you about that specialize in casinos, we value them at about 10 million. The problem is they have five clients, five casinos. They lost two in the process, and the revenue’s dropped almost by 50%. But they still had to keep the overhead and keep the talent for the other casinos that they had. 


Then the last P that we evaluate businesses on is profit. Everybody wants to make a profit. I always say, Matt, that profit is never the problem, always the symptom of not running on one of the other five Ps. If you don’t have the right people in the right seats, if you don’t have the right management team in place, then you’re going to have a problem with profits. You’re going to lose money. If your product is dying and not thriving, you’re going to lose money, right? If your processes are not efficient and productive, you’re going to lose money. If your IP is not protected, you can spend lots of money trying to protect your IP, which again will cost you money. I mean, I’ve seen businesses be put out of business because they do not protect their IP. So those are the six Ps that we evaluate businesses on. 


[00:25:30] MB: Yeah. That's a great insight and the notion of profit being a symptom of your processes, your people, etc. Really, really insightful way of thinking about it, and that’s a great takeaway. 


[00:25:43] MST: Thank you. 


[00:25:48] AF: This episode of the Science of Success is brought to you by our partners at BetterHelp. That’s BetterHelp, H-E-L-P. You’ll get 10% off your first month by going to BetterHelp. Once again, that's betterhlp, H-E-L-P, .com/sostoday for 10% off your first month. 


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[00:27:38] MB: I want to jump around a little bit. One of the things you touched on earlier that I think is really interesting and I feel like you see this a lot in the M&A world, how do you think about the disconnect a lot of times between sellers’ expectations around the business value and what the market value is the business at?


[00:27:59] MST: That’s a great question because it is a mess. When we talked earlier about Steve Forbes saying 8/10 businesses don’t sell, I would say the number one reason they don’t sell is because of expectations. Sellers come to me and say, “Michelle, I want $50 million for my business.” I’m like, “Okay, let's look at the financials.” I’d say, “How do you come up with that?” Matt, this is what they all say, something like this, “Well, you know, that’s what I need to live on,” or, “That’s what I need to retire on,” or “That’s what I need to send my kids to college,” or, “That’s what I need to divorce my spouse,” or, “That’s what I need to buy my next masterpiece or start my next masterpiece.” It’s all about what they need to do next, not about what their business is worth today. Their value is based upon what the next phase of their life looks like versus what the value of your business really is. 


The way that we work with clients is we educate them. We do very extensive valuations, probably the most extensive in the industry. We base it on the six Ps that I just took you through and we base it upon – We do methods, the method approach, which is asset approach on discounted cash flow, income, market approach. Then we also look at the buyer sanity check because the buyer is not – A buyer will only pay if they see value in it for them like that contract, the BP contract. They were willing to pay more. The other buyer was willing to pay more for those 18 patents. But other than that, buyers are not going to overpay. Buyers have what I call the buyer sanity check, just like sellers have a seller sanity check. 


So we educate our sellers and we tell them what they can get. If this is not the right time for them to sell, then they need to build to sell and they need to plan their exit. If you want $20 million in, plan a $20 million company. It’s not hard to figure out how to do that, Matt. It’s not hard to figure out, “Okay, if I have a manufacturing company and I want to sell for $20 million, what’s the buyer’s criteria? What are buyers looking for from a post-revenue standpoint, from a cog standpoint, from a profit margin standpoint? What’s the EBITDA needed to look like? What’s my management team need to look like?” Then, again, you just take it through the six Ps and built it on the six Ps. It’s not that difficult, but nobody does it. 


[00:30:25] MB: So this might be kind of a deep rabbit hole. But when you think about reverse engineering buyer criteria, and I’m sure it varies by buyer type. It varies by company, industry, etc. But are there some high-level strategies or best practices that you think about for anybody to look at their business today and say, “How do I start to reverse engineer what I need to be doing?”? 


[00:30:48] MST: Yeah. I always tell them, you don’t know what you don’t know. So align yourself with an expert. Talk to an M&A advisor. Pick their brain. Ask them. What are PEGs buying? If PEGs are buying manufacturing, now I’m in the manufacturing industry and I want to sell my company for $20 million, what do I need to do? What do my numbers need to be? What do I need to build out? Talk to an advisor because advisors more than others – You kind of find a good advisor because mergers and acquisitions is like anything else. It’s like attorneys. There’s good attorneys, bad attorneys. There’s good doctors, bad doctors. There’s good M&A advisors, bad M&A advisors. 


I don’t’ charge my client. I don’t charge buyers for that. If the buyer calls – I mean, if a seller calls me and wants to know, “Look, Michelle. This is what I want to do. What’s your recommendation,” my recommendation is start looking at what buyers are buying in your industry. What are they looking for? What are they wanting to purchase? Does that make sense?


[00:31:52] MB: Yeah, that's great. No, that’s good advice. 


[00:31:54] MST: But I think the best way to do that is probably to pick the brain of an advisor who deals  with these buyers on a daily basis. I mean, we get hundreds upon hundreds of emails from PEGs every day looking for specific businesses, and they tell us exactly, Matt, what their criteria is from an industry standpoint, from the EBITDA standpoint, close revenues. We know their criteria down to the bottom line. 


[00:32:19] MB: So this may come back to the six Ps in some ways, but I’m curious when you look at sellers or people selling their businesses, what are typically some of the biggest mistakes that you see people are making? 


[00:32:33] MST: That’s a good question. Number one is they’re not planning their exit. That’s the biggest mistake by far. Another big mistake is they’re so busy looking in their business and not on their business. Most entrepreneurs are visionaries, right? Every visionary needs a good integrator. Every visionary needs a good integrator because most entrepreneurs are visionaries and not integrators. So they get so busy, start working in their business, instead of working on their business, that they’re wearing all these different hats and they’re filing all this different piece. They’re doing processes. They’re doing hiring. They’re doing interviewing. They’re doing client service. They’re doing financials. They can never really grow their business because they’re in the business. 


One of the most important things to do is to make the business run without you, and that’s what most owners don’t do. The other thing is that because I see business owners or entrepreneurs are kind of control freaks. They’re like, “Well, you know, if I want it done right, I have to do it myself.” Well, that’s not true because, yes, you might do that one thing right, but look at all the other things that just failed because you were doing this. They’re so stuck in their control mode. If they want it done right, they need to do it themselves. No. What they need to do is focus on their strengths and hire their weaknesses. Most entrepreneurs just try to be all and do all. 


I’ve partnered with a graphics company. I’ll give you a quick story. A graphics company called me up to sell, and it was husband and wife. I asked them right away. I said, “Why do you want to sell,” and they specialize in graphics for first responders, so all the police cars on the road, ambulances, fire trucks you see. That’s their company. He said, “Listen, Michelle. I just found the business acumen to grow this company to the next level.” He says, “It’s myself, my wife, and we’re doing everything. We’re working 14 hours a day and we’re about to kill each other and we want a divorce.” Then they had one employee who they told that one employee, “We’re going sell or close our doors.” Of course, that one employee gets another job, right? 


But then he says to me – This is a 10-minute conversation. He says, “Michelle, we’re known for our quality. We’re the best in the industry. We’re turning down 6,000 clients a year.” When I heard him say we’re turning down 6,000 clients a year, a light bulb went off my head. I go, “Whoa.” I go, “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You’re not selling the business. You can’t sell the business.” He goes, “Why not?” I said, “Because you are the business. We take you out of the business, there is no business.” If we take the husband and wife out of the business, there is no business. I said, “If you’re turning down 6,000 clients a year, all you have right now is a glorified job. What we’re going to do is build a business.” 


So I put up money, resources, experience, and partnered with them, took them to under a million dollar company to a multimillion dollar company, operating out of 6,000 square feet with 25, 30 employees, and we’re expanding throughout the US. I very quickly valued them on the Six Ps. But I said that story to illustrate to you what happens as entrepreneurs just get in the weeds. They’re so in the weeds, and I call them fire fighters. So always putting out fires all day long, instead of really growing the business, and that’s a huge mistake. 


Another big mistake that business owners make is they don’t know their numbers. They don’t know their financials. They have no idea what the business is making. They have no idea. They think they’re making money and they’re like a week away from closing, going out of business. I can’t even begin to tell you how many entrepreneurs have people embezzling money from them, and they don’t even know. I’ve caught it in due diligence. I caught – The company I told you that we sold for $18 million, I was there in due diligence. They had an in-house CPA, this in-house CPA doing due diligence. I kept seeing her like shove things underneath in the desk drawers and shove them under her desk and everything. When she left, I started looking, scrolling through her desk all these invoices. She was stealing money from the company. 


Entrepreneurs take their eye off the ball, and they don’t hire their strengths, they try to do it all, and then they don’t really have the balances and the checks in place and their KPI. They’re not looking at their KPIs to make sure that they’re operating and not losing money or there’s somebody stealing money from them. The other mistakes – Do you want to me keep going?


[00:37:08 MB: Give me one or two, yeah. But then I have other questions.


[00:37:11] MST: Here’s another big one that you never want to do. We have a manufacturing company that has all 1099s and no employees. If ever a catastrophic event happens to 1099, which means they have no workers comp, by the way. What do you think is going to happen to that company?


[00:37:27] MB: They’re going to have to either hire everybody or their costs are going to skyrocket or they’re going to have some –


[00:37:32] MST: If they have a catastrophic event, they’re going out of business. If somebody loses a limb working in that manufacturing plant and they’re 1099. 


[00:37:37] MB: Oh yeah, you mean a worker compensation plan – I thought you’re saying if 1099 went away because it’s going away in a lot of states.


[00:37:45] MST: We have a company. It’s got about 150 people in 1099s. That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. A catastrophic event occurs, you’re all out of business. All it takes is one person to get mad at the owner and say, “Well, we really should be employees, not 1099s.” Guess what? They can all form and go report it to the labor board, and you got a huge problem on your hand. Not only that. But when we go to sell it, guess what we have to do? We have to convert. We have to run the numbers and convert them from a 1099 to an employee and then that’s going to be a huge cost difference that would decrease the EBITDA when we go to sell the business. That’s a big mistake that business owners make is making people 1099s when they really should be employees. 


[00:38:27] MB: Great insight. I want to get a couple other pointers from the other side of the coin. When you think about buying businesses or investing in companies, what are some strategies that you’ve seen that are really effective or that can kind of help you on the buy side/


[00:38:45] MST: I would tell you, from the buy side, number one – Now, are these first-time buyers, Matt? Or are these serial entrepreneur buyers?


[00:38:52] MB: I’d say let's talk about maybe first-time buyers and serial entrepreneurs. I think those are two good segments. I don't think we have a lot of private equity folks listening to the podcast, so that would be – I think those two would be really relevant. 


[00:39:04] MST: First-time buyers have to get crystal clear on what their financials are because I can't tell you how many first-time buyers come to us, and they have no idea what they’re making. I mean, what they can spend on a business. They have no idea how much they’re willing to put down or how much they have to put down. You’re really going to get crystal clear in your financials. Then you got to get crystal clear on how much you’re willing to put down because you can’t buy a business, Matt, by using your retirement fund and taking that money out without paying any interest or penalties whatsoever to purchase a business. It’s called redirect from your retirement fund. 


But you got to be comfortable enough to pull the trigger. So if a first-time buyer has a half a million dollars, how much are they comfortable spending? They need to get crystal clear with that. If they say, “I’m only interested in spending 300,000,” then guess what? Just spend that $300,000 and look for businesses in that realm. Then also look for what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, what are you good at, what’s your passion. Everybody thinks, “Oh, my gosh. I’m a first-time buyer. I’m going to go buy a restaurant.” That’s the worst thing for you to buy. That’s the last thing you should be buying because restaurants are nightmares, and you really need to be cut out to be a restaurant operator. 


We had a lady that came to us who had been in banking for 30 something years. She was about to retire. She called us and wanted to buy a restaurant, and I started asking her questions, and she has zero restaurant experience, never worked in a restaurant. I told her, I said, “What are you trying to accomplish?” She goes, “Well, look. I have $300,000 and 50,000 for working capital, and I just want to make more than what I’m making right now. Right now, I’m making $130,000 a year.” I put her into a business with real estate that’s making 400,000 a year to sell her a financing. So she put 300,000 down. She kept her $50,000 working capital. Even after debt service, she was making over 300,000 a year. Then she started growing the business. Now, she’s making over half million a year.


[00:40:56] MB: Good deal.


[00:40:57] MST: Yes. So the other advice I have for buyers is to find an advisor to work with because we will have those type of businesses. Typically, most business owners will want to work with a business broker or a mergers and acquisitions advisor. Now, we do larger deals. But they want to work with a mergers and acquisitions advisor because of the confidentiality. They don’t want everyone knowing that they're selling their business. They want to keep that secret. They don’t want their employees, customers, vendors, anybody finding out, so they will come to us for confidentiality. Plus they don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t know how to sell a company. 


So I always tell first-time buyers, get crystal clear on your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and get crystal clear on what you can afford to put down, and then find an advisor to work with. As far as serial 

Entrepreneurs, same thing. Work with an advisor because we have good deals. But I will tell you right now, not my businesses because my business owners are not going to do this, and I won’t allow them to do this. But right now, for a serial entrepreneur, let me give you some secret sauce here. Let me give you some inside secrets. If you really want to go out right now, this is COVID, you can get so many great deals and so many great businesses that are barely holding on or they’re holding on but they want to sell because the owner’s tired. He’s like 70 something years old. He doesn’t want to keep doing it but it is making money. You can use the assets of the business to buy the business. You can use the cash in the business. You can ball against the equipment. Maybe even a factoring loan against the receivables. You can literally use the assets. 


Now, I won’t allow that for my sellers to do that. I’ve had three offers on one manufacturing company in the last two weeks. We’re going to try to use the assets to buy the company. I’m like, “No, go find somebody else because you’re not doing that with my clients.” But you can go out and you can find those businesses and do that. If that's not important to you and you need an advisor to help you find some of the best deals out there, then align yourself with an advisor. If not, do it on your own and try to use the assets of the company to buy the business. There are over 30.2 million. At any given time 40% of companies will be up for sale. 


[00:43:11] MB: That's a great insight and I want to – Tell me a little bit more so when you say use the assets of the company to buy the business. Are you talking about something as simple as just doing a leveraged buyout using an SBA loan or something like that? Or are you saying more nuanced, like using asset-backed lending, that kind of stuff? Tell me more about that story. 


[00:43:28] MST: Yeah. No, I’m not talking about SBA or asset-based lending. Nope. I’m talking about giving an LOI to an owner where you say, “Okay, I’m going to pay you a million dollars for your business and I will give you 400,000 cash when we close and I will pay the difference over the next four years at this interest rate, and that 400,000 cash is coming from the cash in the company.”


[00:43:57] MB: That's insane. 


[00:43:58] MST: Yup. 


[00:43:59] MB: People will –


[00:43:59] MST: It happens. It happens. That’s what I told you. I’m giving you insights. 


[00:44:05] MB: That’s pretty nuts. So they’re not selling on a cash-free, debt-free basis. They’re just using the company's checking account to pay the down payment. 


[00:44:12] MST: Yup. I have a really good manufacturing business that we’re selling that specializes in a specific industry, a niche industry. I’m not going to tell you because they’re the only ones that do what they do. I’ve had three offers like that where I say, “Okay. Well, I’ll give you $1.5 million cash at closing. Pat the balance in next four years.” Then we go back-and-forth, back-and-forth, back-and-forth, and I'm negotiating on my client's behalf. Then I get the LOI. Then they’re saying in the LOI, “Pay cash to the business.” I’m like, “No, no, no, no.” We’ll leave enough working capital, which is a combination of accounts receivables and inventory, but you’re not getting my client’s cash to buy the business. He’s not going to use his cash to buy his own business with. But, yeah, there are business owners that are desperate. There are business owners that will do it, and ir happens. Yeah. 


[00:45:03] MB: That blows my mind. It’s crazy. 


[00:45:06] MST: Well, there’s actually different companies out there to teach how to buy businesses with no money down or like buy your own real estate with no money down. 


[00:45:12] MB: Yup. I’m familiar with some of the Roland Frasiers of the world, and it’s the folks that kind of teach those methodologies. 


[00:45:17] MST: Well, yeah. I know Roland very well, and Roland is what I’m talking about. 


[00:45:21] MB: Yeah. He’s a wizard at that. There's no doubt about that. 


[00:45:23] MST: Well, Roland and I spoke at an event together. I spoke right after him. I said, “First of all, Roland, you will never ever want to buy any of my business. I will never let you or your students, number one. But number two, come to me when you’re ready to sell them.” 


[00:45:40] MB: That’s right. 


[00:45:40] MST: It’s funny because I’m one of Roland’s students, and he’s trying to sell a business to me. On a sell side, it’s very different. Why? On a sell side, if a seller doesn’t want to do that, but this same student wants to buy companies like that. I said, “Well, then let the buyer buy it.” He’s like, “No, I’m not going to do that.” But, yeah, Roland’s one of them. I buy companies as well. I flip them. I also partner with business owners putting up cash. 


[00:46:10] MB: It’s really funny. Well, Roland’s a previous guest on the show, and so we’ll throw that interview in the show notes as well. But this has been super insightful, Michelle. For 0listeners who want to find you and your work online, what is the best place for them to go and do that?


[00:46:26] MST: I think all of your listeners should go buy Exit Rich because right now, Matt, we are offering Exit Rich at $24.79 which includes shipping. They will get the immediate download, the digital download immediately. Plus they’ll get access into our free book membership where they’ll get video training from me. But they’ll also get due diligence checklist, LOI samples, purchase agreement samples, even closing document samples. Plus they’ll get a 30-day membership in the CLUB CEOs. Then when the book comes out, we will ship it to their doorstep. They can get that at exitrichbook.com, exitrichbook.com. Then they can find me at seilertucker.com. 


[00:47:06] MB: Well, Michelle, this has been a fantastic conversation. I really appreciate you coming in and sharing some inside baseball from the world of mergers and acquisitions. Thank you. 


[00:47:15] MST: Thank you for having me. It’s been a pleasure. 


[00:47:17] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created the show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an email. My email is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I'd love to hear from you, and I read and respond to every single listener email. I'm going to give you three reasons why you should sign up for our email list today by going to successpodcast.com and signing up right on the homepage. There are some incredible stuff that’s only available to those on the email list, so be sure to sign up, including an exclusive curated weekly email from us called Mindset Monday, which is short, simple, filled with articles, stories, things that we found interesting and fascinating in the world of evidence-based growth in the last week.


Next, you’re getting an exclusive chance to shape the show, including voting on guests, submitting your own personal questions that we’ll ask guests on air, and much more. Lastly, you’re going to get a free guide we created based on listener demand. Our most popular guide, which is called How To Organize and Remember Everything, you can get it completely for free along with another surprise bonus guide by signing up and joining the email list today. Again, you can do that at successpodcast.com. Sign up right at the homepage. Or if you’re on the go, just text the word smarter, S-M-A-R-T-E-R, to the number 44222. 


Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend, either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes, because that helps boost the algorithm that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talk about on the show, links, transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com just at the show notes button right at the top. Thanks again and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.


October 29, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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The Story of Big Think and The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur with Victoria Montgomery-Brown

October 22, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this interview, we dig into exactly what it takes to create one of the world’s largest personal development content producers, scale a company from raising money to monetizing, and so much more with Victoria Montgomery-Brown.

Victoria R. Montgomery-Brown is CEO and co-founder of Big Think. Since founding Big Think, Victoria has built the company from a fledgling thought-leadership media platform to the leading knowledge company for ideas and soft skills. Victoria oversees the growth and direction of the company and is also responsible for Big Think’s strategic partnerships with global companies, including initiatives with Shell, Intel, Merck, Mercer, Pfizer, Microsoft, and many more! Before founding Big Think, Victoria was also a PBS producer and was nominated for an Emmy for an interview she produced on Ted Turner. This year Victoria will release her first book, DIGITAL GODDESS: The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur, where she provides a candid look behind the scenes of her success.

  • The story of how Big Think began and the mission to provide good content. 

  • What Victoria saw in the market that gave her the confidence to launch Big Think. 

  • Content has to be “significant, relevant, and actionable”

  • What it was like to raise 1.4mm to start Big Think and grow one of the most respected personal development content generators. 

  • When it comes to money - raise as little as possible to demonstrate you have a viable business model!

  • Unless you have a massive audience, advertising does not raise a lot of money.

  • How to harness the PBS “Brought to you By” Model

  • A deep dive into the subscription-based business model

  • What’s the difference between sponsorship and advertising and why does it matter?

  • Sponsorship is more about going deep and reaching a specific audience in a targeted way than blasting a message out to everyone. 

  • How can we embrace failures and setbacks to learn from them to achieve our goals?

  • What makes a great work culture and how can you create one?

  • How to ask for help when you need it. 

  • Lessons of being a female entrepreneur and her advice to other female entrepreneurs no matter where you are in your journey!

  • How to overcome burnout, deal with self-proclaimed “power player”, and much more!

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Thank you so much for listening!

Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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You can get in early on Memic and other unique opportunities at www.ourcrowd.com/science. If you’re interested in investing, you need to join OurCrowd. 

The OurCrowd account is FREE, just go to www.ourcrowd.com/science 

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You've got to check out this incredible online community Matt and I have become a part of. It's the ultimate knowledge hub from The Hustle, called Trends.

Trends allows you to interact with and learn from a community of industry leaders to be the first to know what emerging trends are coming next.

No matter what you do, this information is incredibly valuable! They also host weekly live lectures on tons of topics from growth strategies, SEO, and more!

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Check it out and join Matt and I today!!

Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • BigThink site

  • Victoria’s LinkedIn

Media

  • Dr. David Ricketts - “5 Lessons on Entrepreneurship from Victoria Montgomery Brown of Big Think” by: David Ricketts

  • Big Think article directory and profile - Victoria Montgomery-Brown

  • Crunchbase Profile - Victoria Montgomery-Brown

  • Big Think Edge - “Big Think’s CEO On How Big Think Got Built” By Big Think Edge

  • Big Think - “4 ways women can become strong, confident leaders—without acting like men” by Derek Beres

    • “How start-ups raise capital when their bank account is empty”

  • [Book Review] Digital Market News - “Digital Goddess: The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur” by Debbie Fong

Videos

  • Big Think - Lessons from a female entrepreneur | Victoria Montgomery Brown & Charles Duhigg | Big Think Edge

    • Penn Jillette: The year that broke America's illusions | Big Think Edge (moderated by VMB)

  • Rita McGrath - Rita McGrath & Victoria Montgomery Brown Fireside Chat Full Session

  • HarperCollins - Digital Goddess: The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur by Victoria Montgomery Brown

Books

  • Digital Goddess Book Site

  • Digital Goddess: The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur by Victoria R. Montgomery Brown

Episode Transcript

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fable. 

[00:00:20] AF: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number one evidenced-based growth podcast oh the internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners just like you in over 100 countries around the world. I’m your cohost, Austin Fable, and today we’ve got an absolutely incredible guest, yet again, Victoria Montgomery Brown. 

We dig in to her story of founding and growing Big Think, one of the most popular personal development channels on the internet and one of my personal favorites. How they pivoted throughout the years and her journey as a female entrepreneur and her advice for other female entrepreneurs who may be starting out in the middle of their journey or experience. 

But I knew this was coming. Before we dig in, are you enjoying the show and the content that Matt and I work so hard to put out for you each and every week? If so, there are two incredibly easy, yet tremendously impactful things that you could do for Matt and I. As always on the show, we’re looking for easy things we can do for massive returns. And first, it’s leave us a quick 5-star review on your podcast listening platform of choice. It helps others like you find the show, find these learnings from these incredible guests. So there’s a little karma in it for you as well. 

Next, go to our homepage at www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list today. Our subscribers are the first to know about all the comings and goings about the show, but also you’re going to have exclusive content that you won’t be able to find anywhere else. Specifically, when you sign up, you’re going to get our free course we spent a ton of time on called How to Make Time for What Matters Most in Your Life. 

Now, are you on the go? Are you moving around? Maybe you’re working out? Like I always say, good for you staying active. Sign for our email list easily by just texting the word SMARTER, that’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R, to the number 44222 to sign up via text. Now, if you haven’t already, check out last week’s episode with Annie Duke. Annie has been on the show in the past, and Matt and I had a great conversation with her on how to make better decisions, the biases that can play into your decision making. And what was really, really interesting was we dug in to how to assess certain risks in the COVID area, like going out, being at parties, being social, and how you can look at making these decisions in an intelligent way. 

On this episode, we interview an incredible guest, Victoria Montgomery Brown. Victoria Montgomery Brown is CEO and cofounder of Big Think, which I’ve already mentioned, I’m a huge long-time fan of Big Think. Since founding Big Think, Victoria has grown the company to a giant media platform and one of the leading knowledge companies for ideas and soft skills. Victoria oversees the growth and direction of the company and is also responsible for Big Think’s strategic partnerships with global companies including initiatives with Shell, Intel, MERC, Mercer, Pfiser, Microsoft and many, many more. 

Prior to founding Big Think, Victoria was also a PBS producer and was nominated for an Emmy for an interview she produced with Ted Turner. This year, Victoria will release her first book, Digital Goddess: The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur, where she provides a candid look behind-the-scenes of her journey and her success.

We had a great conversation. We’d love to have Victoria back on the show. And without further ado, here’s our interview with Victoria. 

[00:03:46] MB: Well, I’m here in the studio with Austin, and we are super excited to be welcoming our guest on here. Austin, what’s up?

[00:03:51] AF: Yeah, I’m super excited for the conversation today. We have Victoria Montgomery Brown, cofounder of Big Think. Big, big exciting stuff. I’ve been a fan of Big Think for a long time, Matt. I know you’re very familiar as well.

[00:04:03] MB: Of course, yeah. Frankly, I think we’ve crib notes quite a few things from Big Think for some of our interview prep in many of the people that we’ve interviewed, and there’s been a lot of crossover there. But with that, I’d love to welcome Victoria to the show. Victoria, welcome to the Science of Succcess.

[00:04:17] VMB: Thank you both so much. I’m really excited to be here.  

[00:04:19] MB: Well, we’re super excited to have you on the show. And obviously as we just said a second ago, we’re both big fans of Big Think and everything that you’ve done there. I’d be curious to learn a little bit about the story behind how you founded the company and really what got you into creating it in the first place. 

[00:04:39] VMB: Absolutely. So I have a business partner, Peter Hopkins, and in around 2006, I think YouTube popped-up right around then, and we saw kind of a dearth of thoughtful content on the internet and we thought that there was a great opportunity for that to exist. And we were working in an organization where we had access ourselves to notable experts and things like that and thought, “Well, all of these experts have access to other incredible, brilliant people and it’s sort of like a ring together that they only expose themselves to each other. 

And so we came up with this concept of why wouldn’t these experts really want to share their knowledge with a much wider audience? And so kind of an aha moment came to us when we thought Davos Democratize. And for people who don’t, Davos is this elite conference that happens usually in January every year. I guess it probably won’t be happening in 2021, where notable people, business leaders, politicians, Bono I guess is usually there, convene and share their ideas with each other and we just thought, “Wow! Wouldn’t it be great if we could expose a much wider audience to these people’s ideas?” And so we pitch that idea, Davos Democratize, to our initial investors and they really liked that idea, and it went from there. And we pretty much stayed true to that mission.

[00:06:04] MB: Such a great mission, and in many ways you were ahead of us in this journey for sure, but we have the same thought process, which is how can we in a world full of so much noise and so much distraction, how can we really bring thought leaders and people who are really trying to help us improve ourselves and people who are on the cutting edge of science and business? And I love the phrase Davos Democratize, because that really summarizes in many ways, there are so many thoughtful people out there. How can we create content that actually helped people improve their lives and is actionable and useful? 

[00:06:38] VMB: That’s right. I mean, the other mission of Big Think that we’ve said for 13 years now is that the content has to be significant, relevant and actionable. So while we may have on notable economists, or business leaders, we don’t typically ask them what’s going on today or what happened yesterday or what they think is going to happen tomorrow. We want them to share with our audience things that can help them be better personally or professionally like you guys do. And so it stands the test of time. We want it to be evergreen and not just a flash in the pan type of content. 

[00:07:10] MB: One of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned about the accumulation of knowledge is that if you focus on trying to learn things that evergreen that don’t change overtime or that change very slowly overtime, and this is the lesson I originally took from Charlie Monger, who’s one of my intellectual heroes. You can really build a much more deep, rich and solid foundation of knowledge than if you build it on the quicksand of the latest trend and the 10 ways to optimize your email list and stuff like that. Instead, go back and study the classics. Go back and study the stuff that you can really build foundational pillars of knowledge on, and that’s how you exponentially grow your knowledge in a compound way as supposed to just a linear way.

[00:07:55] VMB: Totally. I fully agree with that.  

[00:07:57] MB: I want to step in and look at some of the early days of the company, because one of the things that to me is always is the most interesting questions to understand is what were, or were there any kind of inflection points? If I look at any very truly successful person or story or company, to me there’s always a moment where that business or that person or both of those things diverge from the average trajectory of a company’s lifecycle or a normal existence and take on some category of the extraordinary. And when you look back at what’s happened with Big Think, in your mind, what were some of the, or what were one or two or the big inflection points that really you knew that, “Hey, this wasn’t just an idea that maybe had a little bit of traction.” Or, “Hey, this might work. We’re not really sure.” To, “Oh my gosh! We’ve got something that is really working, is really hitting on all cylinders, and we really have something. We have a tiger by the tail here.”  

[00:08:58] VMB: Well, one of the things that I think really let us know that we had a great idea was, as you know, we interview notable experts. And we were concerned at the start, like will be able to get these people? And we invited a few people on early on. Larry Summers was one, Richard Branson was another. And by the way, how we got in touch with these people is basically – Well, Larry Summers was the head of Harvard at that moment, and Peter, my business partner, went and met with him. And we started to share the idea with notable experts, and they just loved it, and wanted to participate. 

And so we thought, “Well, if these exceptional people love what we’re doing, there must be something here.” And so it kind of took off from that and it was like a rolling stone. Once we started to get a few of these experts to participate and come on, others wanted to. And it really catalyzed a trajectory. And today, probably about 60% or 70% of the experts we have on are pitched to us, which is fantastic, and not something that we would really have ever expected in the early days. 

And something that people ask also about failures along the way and how that has changed the business. And early on, we wanted to create essentially a way for our audience to communicate directly with our experts. And so we spent a large portion of the initial money that we raised trying to create basically the zoom of your. So in 2006, to have those communications with our experts and audience, and it just did not take off. We invested so much money into it, and it felt like a really bad thing that we had done. And honestly if it had succeeded, Big Think would not be where it is today. It had to be a scalable way to reach experts, and that just was not the way to do it. And so I think those two things were fundamental to Big Think and still are. 

[00:11:00] MB: I’m curious – I don’t know if you’re willing to share this or if it’s publicly available or not, but how much did you initially raise to capitalize the company?  

[00:11:08] VMB: Sure. It’s not publicly available. We only raised $1.4 million way back in 2007. And so while that sounds like a lot, it’s not really a ton when you’re starting with nothing and you obviously have to build a website, etc. And back then, things were a lot more expensive than they are today with open source and all that stuff. But I have always said this, that it was a blessing that we didn’t raise a lot of money, because it forced us to immediately confront that we were a business and had to be generating money from the get-go. 

And so our initial business model was sponsorship and advertising, and even before we had a website, we had two clients signed up based on the mission and what we thought might be the reach of Big Think going forward. So I would say to entrepreneurs or aspiring entrepreneurs out there, and maybe VCs would disagree with me. But raise as little as you can to demonstrate that you actually have a viable potential business model and get down to it and start building your business as soon as you can. 

[00:12:14] AF: I want to hone in a little bit on sponsors and advertising and just general monetization. When you were raising this money, obviously you had to have some sort of idea. Was that always the idea, was to primarily make money from sponsors and advertising? And what did that look like in the early days and how has that evolved since then? 

[00:12:34] VMB: I think if I’ll recall some of the early conversations with Peter, we actually had this notion that we could be a little bit like a virtual speaker as a bureau. And so we would charge to have access to these experts. And that just didn’t seem right to us. And so that initial business model, it also didn’t seem like it was scalable, really. And so the sponsorship and advertising, way back in 2006, 2007, was what we thought was feasible. Today I don’t’ know if I were to start a business, if that would be the business model that I would select. But that’s what launched us. 

And then it evolved. The advertising and sponsorship market was hit really hard in 2008, 2009 and took a long time to recover. I’m not even sure if it fully has. And so we thought to ourselves, “Okay, we need some type of revenue that is actually going to be predictable.” And so we created a subscription model as well. So probably 95% of our content is free for consumption on Big Think and across our platforms, and we’re reaching now around 40 to 50 million people a month. And I guess around 2010 or 11 we started to think, “Look, advertising and sponsorship is just not reliable. It’s going to be an important revenue source for us ongoing. We better figure something else out.” 

And so we kind of went back to the initial notion of subscription and created Big Think Edge, which is designed to help people primarily professionally in the soft skill area. And so we got a bunch of clients that way. And then in the last couple of years, individuals have said that they want access to that too. So we created a b2b, so business to business model as well as a business to consumer model. And so those are our three business models at the moment. And I think it’s really important to have if possible more than one revenue stream so that you’re not dependent on anyone of them. 

[00:14:42] AF: Absolutely. And obviously we play in somewhat similar spaces, but I definitely relate to the unreliability that can occur at times around sponsors and advertising. To back up a little bit, you mentioned it kind of launched with a bang, right? There are a couple lined up and then the financial crisis 2008 really took a hit and it’s been kind of recovering ever since. Have you all found that most of your sponsorship opportunities – Well, I guess let me rephrase that. So what does that look like? Is that purely off of things like AdSEnse on YouTube? I know you’ve got quite a sizeable audience there. Is there a team that sort of courts these advertisers and tries to entice them to come in and sponsor things on your page and on your videos? Sort of how unpredictable it may be, how do you all try to find predictability in that model?  

[00:15:28] VMB: Right. I mean, as I’m sure you know, unless you have a pretty massive audience, advertising does not yield a lot of money. So Big Think really only started putting ads on our site within the last two years. And there are a lot of ads there at the moment. Sponsorship was fundamental to us, because we would never create anything that was advertorial, but sort of like the PDS model, the brought to you by, was important to us from the get go. And we actually have an internal team and have for years who would come up with ideas and then pitch them to organizations. 

So one of our early clients was Intel, and every organization wants to pitch themselves or promote themselves as innovative. And so we came up with an idea for them called Moments of Genius, and we pitched it to them that there are all these people who’ve done incredible things. What was it that actually catalyzed them to do it? And so in that series, a couple of our guests were Elon Musk. I mean, he was famous at that point, but not like he is today. And the fellow – I’m unfortunately blanking on his name, who identified the HIV virus. And so that was our initial business model, and none of the contents was anything that we wouldn’t otherwise produce, and that’s been fundamental to us. 

So there is never content on Big Think that is something that is just about advertising. As time evolved though and advertising agencies were suffering and organizations are spending less on sponsorship, it was a real problem for us. And so we did have basically a come to Jesus moment where we are going to be in deep trouble if we don’t figure out another revenue stream. And that’s how we came up with the subscription model. 

And I will tell you another story of thankful failure, because yeah, I mean sometimes failure in the moment sucks, but sometimes it can be a big blessing. We also created a scenario. We were going to get experts’ advice for organizations, and we had no expertise in doing this, but we’ve invested probably 4, 5 months in figuring out how we might pitch Big Thinks experts to organizations, pay the experts and obviously make money for Big Think. That just went completely off the rails. And instead of Peter and I collapsing and thinking, “Oh my God! We’re screwed.” We basically just doubled down and came up with another solution. And I will say again, not having a lot of money or runway in these time can actually beneficial, because it forces you to be innovative in the here and now and not rely on the money that you have potentially lasting you for a year or two. 

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[00:20:11] MB: It's amazing how constraints can force creativity and activity. I’d be curious, you use these words very differently, and I think I understand the difference. But to me, they often get lumped together into one thing. And so tell me how you conceptualize the difference between sponsorship and advertising, because it seems like that distinction has really fundamentally transformed the way you've been able to monetize Big Think in many ways.

[00:20:38] VMB: I think so for sure. So in a sponsorship, we work really closely with the sponsor. We figure out what it is they're trying to present to our audience or their audience, and then we come up with ideas for them. And it really still has to be significant, relevant and actionable. And they’re often deeply involved in the ideas for the content creation. Big Think does all of that, from booking the guest, to production, to distribution, etc. But it's a very involved process with our clients or the sponsor. And advertising is just the ads that are on the site that we don't really have control over, except maybe not allowing gaming advertising on or things. So it's much more about the amount of viewers that you have on your website, where at least from my perspective, sponsorship is about who’s specifically you’re reaching and what the messages you're trying to get to that audience. And really you have full control over that and the content creation. Whereas advertising, we have not a lot of control about the ads that appear on our site and it's just literally about quantity versus, I think, specifically who you're trying to reach.

[00:21:52] MB: I’m going to paraphrases this. So tell me if I understand it correctly. The distinction is that sponsorship is more about going deep, reaching a specific audience in a very targeted and tailored way as supposed to just putting AdSense on your website basically.

[00:22:07] VMB: Absolutely. That is right. And I would say we didn't want to disturb our audience with ads if it wasn’t necessary and if it wasn't going to yield important revenue for Bit Think, which is why we really had no ads on our site for the first 10 or 11 years. And only once we got our audience up to such a significant level did we start putting ads on it. That’s what I’d recommended for others. If you can avoid putting ads on your site as much as possible to provide your audience with the best possible experience, I would do that. Obviously, once advertising revenue becomes important and somewhat unavoidable, then I understand doing that. But if you can avoid it, I would. 

[00:22:54] MB: I'm curious, tell me a little bit more about especially in the early days. I mean, it seems like you were able to land some big names. I mean, obviously, Richard Branson is huge. But some big names early on that maybe drove the acquisition of sponsors a little bit more effectively. But how do you, when you're pitching a sponsor, especially in the early days of Big Think, approach or broach the topic of looking at it in a way beyond just CPMs or some generic advertising metric and say, “Hey, we can deliver more than that, but you need to pay more than what you would normally pay.” Does that make sense?

[00:23:32] VMB: I does. I mean, I don’t have silver bullet answer for that. But how we pitched it was that we were going to be delivering excellent content that they would get to associate their brand with to a relatively small audience in the early days, but it would be meaningful and impactful and that they could also use the content that we created to target their own audiences internally. So while Big Think owned all the content, and after the sponsorship we would often remove the sponsor's granting, etc., from it, it was really about quality of reach versus quantity of reach. 

Now because we have a very significant audience, it’s a combination of the two. But I think even today, brands recognize that it really matters how you are reaching people and that quality is much more important than quantity. 

[00:24:22] MB: Yeah, that’s such a great point. And especially in a world full of so much noise and endless content, it's important to be associated with the right kinds of brands and reach people in the right way. That makes a lot of sense. 

You touched on one other question related to this, which I think is another really unique novel approach to the broader sponsorship business model. Tell me more about these unique campaigns that you would craft and pitch to corporate sponsors. How did you conceptualize or think about in a Broadway the idea of putting these campaigns together and how you tailored each pitch to each individual corporate sponsor? 

[00:25:05] VMB: Well, I will say that it starts with a lot of research and also kind of have to have a luck along the way. But we do and still do a lot of cold outreach. But we would research the brands, figure out what their mission is. Looking at annual reports is not a bad idea as boring as it may be to figure out what the company's mission is for the next year. And so one of our initial sponsors that we had was Bing, and we knew that they want to differentiate themselves in the search engine world. And so we pitched at that point to one of the senior executives there in marketing the concept of the future of search. They probably want to be on stage with Google. And so we contacted him. We came up with an idea that he liked a live streamed webinar on the future of search. And this is way back I think in 2010 or 2011. So the technology was with pretty difficult back then. We managed to convince them. We had the head of search for Google and the head of search for Bing on the same stage. It was covered by the Wall Street Journal and a bunch of others. We just thought, “What is the kind of thing that will excite both of these organizations and get Bing to want to sponsor it.” And being associated or on the same stage as Google was something that I think was important to them at that time.

So it’s a combination of things. Figuring out what is interesting storytelling. What is going to make these potential sponsors interested in it and how can you demonstrate to them that you are uniquely positioned to execute on it? And we also had a whole bunch of other. We had Jared Lanier on the stage as well. At that point it was like, “What is going to be amazing about this scenario? And will Bit Think be able to execute it?” I mean, it's not really I guess rocket science, but it is about creating a package that is complete and will satisfy the audience, the customers and obviously yield revenue for Big Think as well.

[00:27:09] AF: May not be rocket science, but that’s extremely insightful, Victoria. I think that goes right there. I mean, I think too often, especially when you start to amass some type of audience, you can really kind of abandon the detailed approach that you all have around kind of figuring out the win-win is, what the usual goals are and then how you’re uniquely positioned to help. I mean, we get sponsor opportunities all the time, as I’m sure you do. And I’d say 99% of them are just some sort of copy+paste of a template, right? Or some sort of like unequal as, but may not even be aligned with the content we’re kind of putting out. 

So I think really taking that time. And as you said, may not be the most thrilling of work, but ultimately is going to yield the right kind of sponsorships. And like you said earlier, maybe not in quantity, but in quality, which is really what’s going to bring these sponsors back.

[00:27:57] VMB: Yeah, totally. And we have probably completed – I don’t know, 30 requests or proposals over the years. We’ve only won one of them, and that was because the clients at that point was desperate. And so, really, those things where it’s just kind of check the box type advertising or sponsorship, we have never won really because of the approach I just mentioned we take. And the way that a lot of these RFPs go out is really, really difficult for any organization of ours where it is thoughtful people coming up with unique ideas versus organizations that just have tens or hundreds of millions of people that they reach. 

And so again, we have never won a scenario like that, because it is about thoughtful content on our end. And a lot of the advertising agencies will literally just look at how many people does this organization or website reach. 

[00:28:57] AF: I think just for the soul of your content, your approaches is much better, and obviously I think this results in a long-term speaks for themselves. That’s something I kind of want to pivot into a little bit. One of the things that Matt and I both spend a lot of time researching and interviewing guests on is really kind of the art and science of decision making, right? And how you come to the right decisions where you want to take yourself in different objectives you have in your life. And one of the things I know you’ve talked a lot about in the past is how to trust your gut, right? Specifically around things like attracting investors, hiring, firing, taking leaps in your life. How do we kind of balance the idea of trusting our gut and trusting our intuition with also kind of a pragmatic sort of disciplined approach to decision making?

[00:29:44] VMB: Well, over the years, I’ve learned to trust my gut much more than I did initially in starting the business. I'm not sure that there is a true science to it. But Liv Boeree who’s a Big Think expert and champion poker player I write about in the book has this advice about confidence bias, which is you or one tends to convince yourself that you see facts that align to what we want the outcome to be. So if you want to hire somebody, let's say, because they have an amazing resume and you think that they will add something incredible to your organization, but you're interviewing them and you get red flags and a bad feeling about them, that’s not particularly signs, but I would trust that. And 100% of the time when I myself have looked at what I want to have happened in the confidence bias way and gone against my gut, I have been wrong. 

So that’s not, as I said, science, but it is really trusting that something intuitive is guiding me and trusting that much more than what I'm wanting to have happened. 

[00:30:58] AF: Interesting. Do you happen to have an example or a story that you wouldn’t mind sharing? I mean, of course I don’t want to expose anybody unnecessarily, but I’m curious as to kind of just what the actual thought process is, right? What’s the information you’re seeing and then what’s your gut telling you kind of in a real-world situation? 

[00:31:16] VMB: Yeah, absolutely. One of initial or early employees was this extremely talented woman, and Peter had introduced me to her and really, really wanted to hire her. And her resume was outstanding. And I met her, I remember, at a coffee shop. The website hadn’t launched yet, and it was one of our initial employees. And I met her at a coffee shop and I just had a really bad feeling, but I couldn't get over or couldn't get past her resume and just convinced myself we have to have this person.

And so I hired her, and early on it was an okay working relationship. But over the course of a bunch of months, she developed some type of animosity towards me, and it was really unpleasant to work with her. And finally I was alerted to an email that she had sent bizarrely to our entire staff about me. And had I trusted my gut from the get-go and just not hired here, there wouldn't have been really unpleasant interactions with her along the way and eventual firing. And for her, it probably wouldn’t have been good either. If one person has a bad feeling about the other, it's not going to do the other person any good to force that relationship. 

[00:32:37] AF: Absolutely. In fact, it really kind of damages both folks and it’s just nothing but wasted time and wasted capital really.

[00:32:44] VMB: Absolutely. Yeah. 

[00:32:46] AF: When something – Like that’s an example, right? So you went kind of against your gut. This happened. There was an unfortunate outcome for everyone. How do you kind of go about it? And as you say in the book, like embrace your failures and setbacks. How do you not only embrace that failure but then learn from it and kind of move forward and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again. 

[00:33:08] VMB: Well, I would be lying if I said I didn’t repeat the same mistake again and again, but hopefully each time I repeated it, I’ve learned a little more. But when I say embrace failure, I really just mean acknowledge it. One of the things that I talk about early in the book is transparency, and I think that as a leader or anybody in any organization or relationship, the way that you build trust with people is to be as transparent as possible and acknowledge your mistakes as quickly and as brutally as you can, and that will let people see, your colleagues or whatever, that you are somebody that is to be trusted and that does learn from their mistakes. In an organization I think that that is really important aspect of leadership is really taking on the mistakes you made and letting people know that you’ve seen them and that you're going to work to change them. 

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[00:36:15] MB: Yeah, I think that’s such an important insight, and there're two things really to me that come out of what you just said. One is this understanding and the example you gave a minute ago about that hire even underscores this more so, but mistakes are inevitable part of being in business. And I think many people go into business or really in anything they're doing in their lives and they try to avoid making any mistake. When the reality is you're moving quickly enough, if you're doing enough and you're taking risk and you're trying to create something, which you obviously have created tremendous amount from nothing. Mistakes are a part of that process, and you have to be okay knowing that going in. And you have to have this willingness, which is personally I believe one of the most important skills in life to face up to your own mistakes, your weaknesses, your failures and realize, “Hey, I screwed up and I need to correct it.” because the sooner you do that and the sooner you take ownership of it, you can progress beyond it, and it's so much better to do it quickly than it is to try and bury it under the rug or hide from it. 

[00:37:20] VMB: That’s exactly right.

[00:37:22] MB: So I want to change gears a little bit and talk about another challenge that I know many of us face and I've certainly faced it. I know Austin has faced it. How do you think about as somebody who's been in the trenches scaling a startup, building an organization? Eventually you're going to get burned out. How do you think about overcoming that dealing with burnout? Keeping yourself balanced if possible, especially in a business as challenging as online media and online content. 

[00:37:53] VMB: Well, as I write about in the book, I did not lead a balanced life the first 11 or so years of Big Think. So that's a long a long time. And I would learned from my mistakes, which is that Big Think was my entire reason for being, and I took it on as a reflection of myself, which is not. It’s a website. It's a business. I am my own person. I am not Big Think. It became sort of like Victoria and Big Think were one and the same. And that led to a lot of real mental issues for me. I became completely anxious all the time and even developed depression. And I remember this one instance when Peter and I were in San Francisco and we were seated at Yerba Buena, which is this place like coffee shop or whatever, and we were sitting there and I was talking to him about all the doom scenarios that could happen to Big Think. And while it is the role of founders and the CEO to see what possibly could go wrong, the more fundamental thing is to focus on what could go right and be optimistic and positive and impart that across the organization. And we are just sitting there and I was like, “This could go bad. This could go bad. This is going to go bad.” And he finally said to me, “If all basically so bad and so gloomy and doom-felt, why are we doing this?” And then he took a step back and said, “I really can’t at this point, Victoria, continue working with you in the way that you are at this moment, and you need to go and get help.” 

And so there are many different ways I think people can find balance and get help in other ways and basically go on vacation or whatever, but in this instance, I actually needed psychiatric help. So I went to a psychiatrist and was put on antidepressants, and that really helped me. And I’m very open about talking about it, because there are different ways that people can detox from work or what have you. But that was the way that I needed to at that moment, which was pretty severe, and I really am grateful to Peter for doing that intervention at that moment. 

[00:40:06] MB: Mental health is such a critical topic, and I applaud you for sharing your own struggles with it. It's something we talk a lot about on this show and the importance of prioritizing that, taking care of yourself, having the awareness to know that you need to deal with something. You need to face something. You need to – As we touched on a minute ago, you need to accept those challenges and address them. Again, thank you for sharing that and thank you for really underscoring one of the important things that doesn't get talked about enough. And we try to share on this show is the importance of keeping your mental game strong and taking care of your mental health, because it's so undervalued and it just doesn't get talked about. 

[00:40:50] VMB: Yeah, and it makes life really unpleasant if you don't.

[00:40:54] MB: So I want to jump around a little bit more, because there are so many interesting things you talk about in the book. Tell me about how do you deal with a lot of these big-name power player type of folks who come into the Big Think ecosystem? The Richard Branson, the Elon Musks of the world, etc. 

[00:41:13] VMB: Well, I mean, it’s easy to say. But these are just people too. They’ve obviously done extraordinary things. And for us, it's not about fandom or them being stars. It's really about understanding what it is they can help you or I learn to be better personally or professionally. And so when we tell them that mission, they’re very, very humble about it and want to help. So I think, for us, it’s because we've been mission-driven that there's never been any anxiety in reaching out to people, extraordinary people, or asking them to beyond Big Think. And that’s what I would say to anybody who wants to build something that requires extraordinary people to be a part of, if you have the right mission, they will most likely participate. It’s if you're asking them for the wrong reasons, they probably won't. And that’s what we found. I mean, as I said, we didn't even have a website until we launched, I think, January 7 of 2008. We had already interviewed well over 100 people before the website launched. And so we would go to experts and they’d say, “Well, whose done it? Okay, maybe you’re the 10. Can I see your website?” “No. We don't have one yet.” But then they would listen to the mission and be like, “Well, that's worth a shot. I’ll give it a go.” 

[00:42:33] AF: I kind of want to transition yet again and take a step back, because as Matt had mentioned, I appreciate you sharing with us your kind of struggle with mental health and the depression. And as somebody who also in period of my life that’s been diagnosed and been on antidepressants, kind of taken that rollercoaster. I think at least for me, I feel like they’re bouts within ways. It’s not necessarily something. And forgive me if I’m projecting, but it’s not really something that entirely goes away. There’re kind of peaks and valleys. And one of the things that I research a ton about and I’ve been curious for you to take on, is kind of these daily rituals, right? Things that you do daily or maybe through seasons of your life that kind of keep you from falling back into old mental patterns. What sort of daily rituals, daily habits or things that you do when things might get a little crazy, burnout and might start to creep up on you. What are kind of the ways that you maintain such a tremendous level of output running such a business with a reach like Big Think, but also taking care of yourself and just making sure that you don’t kind of fallback into old habbits?

[00:43:40] VMB: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, for me, exercise has always been a fundamental part of my life. And so that’s something that I do on an almost daily basis. I will say that in, I guess, 2015 or something like that, I started listening to Headspace, which is the meditation app. And that really helped me at a particular moment in time and I should probably be doing that today. But to break myself out of crazy cycles, I will go and do meditation again. Would it be much more beneficial if I’m doing it every day? Absolutely. But that’s something that has helped and an intervention. And then my family, I’m really close to as well. And I’ve asked them in the past few years after I was diagnosed with depression to be open with me about what they were seeing and if they were concerned, etc. And so they are. 

So the number one thing I would say is just be willing to ask for help and do what it takes for you to get that help if you're in cycle. And there are strangely enough benefit to being open about it, because people that you didn't think would be supportive or receptive often will be and forged in even deeper relationship. And there’s something else I would say that anxiety and depression don't always have to be totally negative. There is a reason for anxiety. And while I tend to get way too anxious at moments, it has also catalyzed and fueled my drive to build Big Think with Peter and to have it continue going on. 

[00:45:17] AF: Something you’ve mentioned in or you touched on and how we ask for help. I feel like a symptom of anxiety and all of these sort of mental factors that we’re discussing is you almost underestimate the empathy of other people, right? Being anxious and being worried, it makes you think that if you open up about those things, if you bring them to somebody, even if it’s someone very close to you, that they’re going to crack the whip on you. They’re going to say like, “Oh button up, handle that.” But often times I believe specially if you’re opening up the right people, you’ll be surprised with the empathy that you get, the understanding. And in most cases, even some of the shared experiences and thoughts you might have with who you’re opening up.

[00:46:04] VMB: I think that’s right. I mean, one of our partners actually, they’re an important client of ours, and she and I had only ever people communicated on a very superficial level, and I went to go and visit her in Chicago. And she was asking me how I was. And for some unknown reason, I told her that I just started taking antidepressants. It’s like kind of not appropriate thing to say to a client. And she really opened up and we forged a much, much better relationship. And even today, this is a person who’s part of my life and a part of Big Think. And after I said it, I thought, “Oh my God! I shouldn't have said anything. I probably have jeopardized this relationship, etc., and may have lost Big Think business,” but not the case at all. It just strengthened the relationship.

[00:46:54] AF: It’s so funny. I can even relate entirely to the story. You kind of opened yourself up a little bit, and then you hang up the phone and you’re like, “I’m an idiot. Oh my God!” But like it’s never really the case, but it’s such an easy thought to kind of have creep into your head. 

[00:47:10] VMB: Absolutely. 

[00:47:12] AF: So Victoria, I want to talk a little bit. So obviously the book, Digital Goddess: The Unfiltered Lessons of a Female Entrepreneur. I do think females have a little bit of a challenge in today’s landscape when it comes to entrepreneurship. A lot of the statics we kind of discussed before we began recording, more females today are starting companies than males. But women only lead 24 with Fortune 500, right? And female founders have only received 2.2% of US venture capital. I’m curious, what do you think can be done to help even those numbers out a little bit? What is your experience kind of taught you obviously being a successful female entrepreneur about the experience and what needs to be done to make sure that female companies, that female-led companies are getting a fair shake?

[00:48:00] VMB: Well, this may not be a very PC answer, but I think as I write in the book, grow a pair. I just think being confident. And if you have an idea, confident, then you can actually do it and then just get started. No business, whether it’d be led by a male or female is going to survive or even start if there isn't a great idea behind it and the willingness of the founders execute upon that. So my number one advice for women is, number one, believe that you can do it. But more importantly, find yourself an amazing idea and go for it. 

There's really no magic to it. I’ve been extremely fortunate, the vast majority of our investors have been men. And I just really believe that the majority of men want to help women in business succeed. And that is an advantage as a woman, and I think women should feel comfortable using that. There is a lot of opportunity for women in terms of fundraising, and there are a lot of VCs that focus specifically on women. I wouldn't say there's anything magic about it, but there is I think a lot of opportunity for women that they may not feel is out there. 

And I have felt that me being a female CEO and founder has actually been super beneficial to me and helped us get in front of people that may be a male founder or a CEO might've had more difficulty doing so. 

[00:49:33] AF: I want to tell you about this amazing online community that I’m a part of. It’s the ultimate knowledge hub in the hustle called Trends. You can learn all you need to know about trends in virtually any space, from business, personal development, psychology, and more. It's an incredibly powerful tool and helps you identify trends before they happen so you can be the first to capitalize on new and emerging trends in any space. Trends will give you the network and information you need to succeed. 

Trends gives me access to a community of industry leaders in virtually every field where I learn how to capitalize on emerging opportunities. Trends is a place where I workshop ideas and I network with other entrepreneurs and investors. And one thing I love to do is attend their weekly live lectures. They have expert who teach growth strategies, SCO, or my favorite, how to send the perfect cold email. A lot of our sponsors know, I do send quite a bit of cold emails. 

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[00:51:24] MB: Such a great perspective, and I think the fundamental idea that you shared, which is just business in general is grueling. It's difficult. It's hard. And to be successful in any endeavor, you can't have a victim mindset. You have to be willing to take ownership as we talked about earlier of the difficult parts, the hard parts. Face the difficult truths and put yourself out there and be willing to do what it takes to be successful. And I think your story and many of the examples you shared throughout this conversation highlight that exact same theme. And to me, in many ways, that really sums up a lot of the lessons from this conversation, is this notion of put yourself out there, take risk, don't be afraid to act and don't be a victim. 

[00:52:12] VMB: I love that. I hadn’t thought about that, but yes, avoid the victim mindset. 

[00:52:18] MB: So Victoria, for somebody who's been listening and is excited, motivated, wants to take action and implement some of the things we’ve talked about today, what would be one action item that you would give them to start taking action to implement the ideas we’ve discussed?

[00:52:33] VMB: Well, one thing I would suggest, I just bought this book myself, which is called Best Self, which is a friend of mine introduced me to it. It's a 13-week plan to achieve three goals that you identify for yourself. And that to me, it’s just one step for myself where I want to achieve certain few things over the next 13 weeks. And by the way, it’s 13 weeks, because they say that a reasonable timeframe to achieve specific goals. It’s just take action. No matter what you do, basically jump in and start what it is that you want to achieve. 

Now as I say in the book, if you want to be an entrepreneur or learn French or whatever, tell people, and that you’ll be much more likely to do it if you have kind of the shame of not after you’ve told people that you would. 

[00:53:23] MB: Great piece of advice, and very practical and easy to implement. Victoria, for listeners who want to find more about you, Big Think, and your upcoming book, where can people find you and the book online?

[00:53:35] VMB: Well, bigthink.com is where you should go to find incredible content. And the book is available at digitalgoddessbook.com.

[00:53:45] MB: Well, Victoria, thank you so much for coming on the show. Austin, thanks for a great dialogue as well. This has been really insightful. I know I learned a lot. Some really great insights into the early workings in the business model and what helps you innovate, and then some great lessons about being a successful entrepreneur in any field or any endeavor. 

[00:54:05] VMB: Thank you both so much. This has been wonderful.

[00:54:07] AF: Thank you so much for the time. 

[00:54:09] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener email.

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Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes because that helps boost the algorithm, that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. 

Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talked about in the show, links transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com, just hit the show notes button right at the top. 

Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

October 22, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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The Simple Tools for Making Better Choices with Annie Duke

October 15, 2020 by Lace Gilger

Annie Duke is an author, corporate speaker, and consultant in the decision-making space. Annie’s latest book, How to Decide: Simple Tools for Making Better Choices, is available now. Her previous book, Thinking in Bets, is a national bestseller. As a former professional poker player, Annie won more than $4 million in tournament poker before retiring from the game in 2012. Before becoming a professional player, Annie was awarded a National Science Foundation Fellowship to study Cognitive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. 

In this episode, we discuss how to think about luck, the hidden information you can find in any situation, and why uncertainty is key to making good decisions!

  • The intersection between poker and cognitive science 

  • Poker is a high-stakes decision-making framework… 

  • Thinking about luck, hidden information, and uncertainty is the KEY to making good decisions 

  • Outcome quality and decision quality are not correlated at 1.0 - they are related, but they are not directly correlated. 

  • In life, even the simplest decisions are fraught with lots of hidden information and lots of luck.

  • Lots of GOOD outcomes are a result of BAD decisions. 

  • Pay a lot of attention to good outcomes, and figure out what was luck and what was skill. 

  • How do we evaluate luck, skill, thinking, and decision making in an uncertain environment like coronavirus?

  • When there is a lot of uncertainty.. focus on making “reversible” decisions first.

  • Second.. make decisions that have the lowest level of consequences first, to see if you can get more information to make a bigger decision 

  • Ask yourself: What are the signals that would cause me to change my model or change my opinion about this?

  • How do you deal with politicized information? 

  • Making and identifying a “Free roll” decision is one of the easiest and best things you should do. 

  • Identity becomes a HUGE problem in our ability to process information in our decision making.

  • How to identify decision making free rolls - “if the worst case happens, am I worse off"?

  • How do you create a shared framework of decision making and making better choices?

  • The only way to update your beliefs is to go out and put them to the test and to collide with things you disagree with. 

  • Homework: Figure out how to elicit other people’s true opinions, don’t poison them with your opinions first. 

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Trends allows you to interact with and learn from a community of industry leaders to be the first to know what emerging trends are coming next.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Annie’s Website and Wiki Page 

  • Annie’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

Media

  • Constant Renewal - “Annie Duke: How To Make Decisions Like A Poker Player”

  • Texas CEO Magazine - “How to Hedge Against an Unseen Enemy: A Conversation with Annie Duke”

  • Advisor Perspectives - “A Champion Poker Player on How to Make Better Decisions” by Dorothy Hinchcliff

  • Berkeley Haas - “New Thinking in a Pandemic: Don Moore & Annie Duke” By Laura Counts

  • Marginal Revolution - “My Conversation with Annie Duke” by  Tyler Cowen

  • [Book Review] Grounded Curiosity - Book Review – Thinking in Bets, by Annie Duke

  • Barron’s - “This Famous Poker Player Can Help Investors Play a Tough Hand” By Leslie P. Norton and Bonnie Bennett Slater

  • The Moth - Annie Duke Storytelling

  • Behavioral Scientist - “Redefining Wrong in Poker, Politics, and Beyond” By Annie Duke (2018)

  • [Podcast] CAPITAL ALLOCATORS - Annie Duke – Decision Making in a Crisis (Capital Allocators, EP.132)

  • [Podcast] Unmistakable Creative - HOW TO MAKE BETTER DECISIONS BY THINKING IN BETS WITH ANNIE DUKE

  • [Podcast] Medium - Conversations with Tyler - Annie Duke on Poker, Probabilities, and How We Make Decisions (Ep. 99)

  • [Podcast] Farnum Street - Getting Better by Being Wrong with Annie Duke [The Knowledge Project Ep. #37]

  • [Podcast] The Jordan Harbinger Show - 40: Annie Duke | How to Make Decisions Like a Poker Champ

Videos

  • Annie’s YouTube Channel

  • Productivity Game - THINKING IN BETS by Annie Duke | Core Message

  • Talks at Google - Thinking in Bets | Annie Duke | Talks at Google

  • Big Think - 'Resulting': Don’t mistake a bad outcome for a bad decision | Annie Duke | Big Think

    • Why saying "I don't know" is a key to success | Poker champion Annie Duke

  • TEDxTalks - Risk Schmisk | Annie Duke | TEDxGeorgetown

  • MoneyNeverSleeps - Annie Duke - Making Better Decisions, Part 1

    • Annie Duke - Making Better Decisions, Part 2

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • How to Decide: Simple Tools for Making Better Choices Sep 15, 2020 by Annie Duke

  • Thinking in Bets: Making Smarter Decisions When You Don't Have All the Facts by Annie Duke

  • Heads Up Tournament Poker  by Vanessa Rousso, Annie Duke, and Josh Doody

  • The Middle Zone: Mastering the Most Difficult Hands in Hold'em Poker  by John Vorhaus and Annie Duke

  • Decide to Play Great Poker: A Strategy Guide to No-Limit Texas Hold Em  by John Vorhaus and Annie Duke

  • Annie Duke: How I Raised, Folded, Bluffed, Flirted, Cursed, and Won Millions at the World Series of Poker  by Annie Duke and David Diamond

Misc

  • [SoS Episode] Making Smart Decisions When You Don’t Have All The Facts with Annie Duke

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:19] AF: Welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners, just like you, in over 100 countries. I’m your co-host, Austin Fable. Today, we've got an incredible guest on the show who's been with us in the past, Annie Duke.

We dig into a ton of great information, including how to think about luck, the hidden information in any decision you may make and how uncertainty is actually the key to making good decisions. Before we dig in, are you enjoying the show and the content we put out each week for you? If so, there are two incredibly easy, yet tremendously impactful things you can do for Matt and I. First, leave us a quick five-star review on your podcast listening platform of choice. It helps other listeners like you find the show, so we can reach more people with this great knowledge.

Next, go to our homepage at www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our e-mail list today. Our subscribers are the first to know about all the comings and goings of the show, but also, you have access to exclusive content you won't find anywhere else. Specifically, when you sign up, you're going to get our free course that we spent a ton of time on called fittingly, How to Make Time for What Matters Most in Your Life.

Are you on the go? Maybe you're working out, driving in the car, well good for you. Sign up for our e-mail list, but just by texting the word ‘smarter’, that's S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44-222 and you'll be signed up today. If you are driving, do not text while driving. Pull over and send the text, just to be clear.

If you haven't already checked out last week's episode with David Kidder, we dig into what moments of disruption can mean for anyone and how to be sure when making any business decision. On this episode, we interview an incredible guest, Annie Duke. We talk about decision-making on many, many levels.

A little bit about Annie. Annie Duke is an author, corporate speaker and consultant in the decision-making space. Annie’s latest book, How to Decide: Simple Tools for Making Better Choices, is available now wherever books are sold. Her previous book, Thinking In Bets, is a national best-seller.

As a former professional poker player, Annie won more than 4 million dollars in tournament poker before retiring from the game in 2012. Prior to becoming a professional player though, Annie was awarded a National Science Foundation Fellowship to study cognitive psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

We had a great conversation. Annie as I mentioned, is a repeat guest. She's always great to have on the show. Her insights are incredible. Without further ado, here's our interview with Annie Duke.

[00:03:04] MB: Annie, welcome back to the Science of Success.

[00:03:06] AD: Thanks for having me.

[00:03:08] MB: Well, we're really excited to have you back on the show. Austin, I’m sure you're excited to have Annie back on as well.

[00:03:14] AF: Yeah, I’m super excited to have you on, Annie. I wasn't on the mic when you came on for the first run, so super excited to dig in with you, especially in light of everything going on in the world and the new book, of course.

[00:03:26] AD: Well, I’m happy that you've been allowed to have a voice, to be able to chat. I’m excited that this is going to be a real conversation. This is good.

[00:03:36] AF: I love it. I love it.

[00:03:38] MB: Yeah, we're super pumped. I mean, to jump in and start out, I mean, I think I said this in our last conversation too, but I mean, for me, Thinking In Bets was probably one of my favorite books I’ve read in the last three or four years. I mean, I’m an amateur poker player. Not very good, but I like to play and I’ve learned a tremendous amount about life and decision-making from poker.

I’ve recommended that book to a half dozen people or more, just about this is a great framework for thinking through decision-making. How did you go from that to your new project and really focusing even more on how we can make better decisions?

[00:04:17] AD: The natural evolution of the way that I think about decision-making, I think you can see this in the relationship between the two books. I started off my life strictly as an academic, doing my PhD work at UPenn. Then, I transitioned into poker and was really deep and focused into poker. Then around 2002, I started thinking this very explicit way about the way that poker and cognitive science can have a really interesting conversation with each other, where there's all this amazing work in cognitive science about how do you learn, how do you make a good decision, cognitive bias, what are the errors where we go wrong.

Then poker is really this high-stakes, really fast decision-making environment in which all of the science is being brought to bear at that table, both sides of the issue, which is what are the ways in which that environment causes your decision-making to go wrong that you would also see in the science.

Then, also something that I felt was maybe a little bit lacking in the science, which was how would you actually solve for some of these things? Because at poker, if you don't solve for them, you go broke. There's an immediate consequence to it. You just lose your chips. I started thinking about how those speak to each other and then, that really is what resulted in Thinking In Bets, which was this book that was a little bit of how, but lots of why, about why is uncertainty so important, why is thinking about luck and hidden information so incredibly important to creating a good decision process. What does that mean about how do we actually learn from experience? How do we understand what the outcomes of our decisions actually mean when you could lose, because you played poorly, or you could lose because you played quite well?

If you got unlucky, or vice versa, you could win, because you played really well. Or maybe, you could win, because you played really poorly. I just realized it was very hard to work backwards and started thinking about the solutions that that poker really offers you to that a little bit. Lots of why about uncertainty. Let's really think about uncertainty, why you need to pay attention to it. Then a little bit of how would you actually solve for this and create a good decision process.

After I had written that book, I just felt I really wanted to ground these ideas much more and offer somebody a book that would actually walk them through how do you think about learning in a better way? How do you use the feedback that the world gives you in a way that can actually help you to learn better? What does a good decision process looks like? How do you figure out when you should take a lot of time with a decision, or when you can punt it and go fast?

The last piece of the book is really just how do you think about the conversations that you're having with people in order to really help advance your learning, as well as theirs? Because this was a really big issue in poker, was that a lot of the work that you were doing as a poker player was talking to other great poker players, and learning how to have those conversations, which is actually not natural, in a way that could actually help you to learn and overcome these cognitive biases and these interferences in learning is actually really important, so I actually devote a lot of time.

I think about Thinking In Bets is a little bit of a why in explaining this conversation between poker and cognitive science. Then this book is just how do you actually do it? Let's really get down to brass tacks and figure out how to ground it.

[00:08:13] MB: I love that. I think it's such a great framework. I definitely want to dig into this notion of how do we create almost a shared framework, or a shared vocabulary to explore these concepts amongst people who want to make better decisions, or people who want to improve their thinking. Before we even jump into that, you touched on something a minute ago that to me is such a critical insight, which long-time listeners have heard me say this, both in your previous interview and many other interviews is poker is such an incredible crucible for forcing good decision-making, because if you don't learn how to make better decisions and assess your own decision-making, you go broke. It's a very unforgiving game and that's why it's such a beautiful teacher.

To me, that that lesson that you can make a bad decision and have a good outcome, I see that pattern play out so much in real life, where people have an absolutely terrible decision-making process and they get rewarded for it and it really creates a cascade of really, behavior that is extremely either risky, or they just don't understand what they're actually doing. I mean, there's so many manifestations of that. You touched on that idea of how luck can really impact our decisions and we don't often realize it. To me, that's such an important concept.

[00:09:35] AD: I’m so happy you brought that up. I mean, obviously, what you're talking about is it expresses itself in survivorship bias. All the books are written by people who just happen to have succeeded, not clear that they had a good process. What you said I think is – you're really hitting the point home of why I circle back to that topic a little bit. What I found was that after Thinking In Bets, of course, in that book I’m talking about that outcome quality and decision quality are not correlated at one.

They're related to each other, but that relationship is really going to express over the long run, over 10,000 coin flips, rather than for any particular outcome that you might observe that that's not going to be particularly good signal for a decision quality. You have to be doing something that's skilled, but also where really, the judgments aren't subjective. Meaning, that you have really perfect information, lots of information with very little influence of luck. The difference between chess and poker, in terms of that relationship between outcomes and decisions. If I lose at chess, I know it's because I made bad decisions. If I win at chess, I know it's because I made good ones. Not so in poker and not so in life.

In life, even the simplest decisions like going to a traffic light are fraught with lots of hidden information and lots of luck. When I go through a green light, I don't know what cars are coming in the other direction. I don't know if those drivers are drunk. I don't know if their cars are in repair. What happens is that I can go through a green light and get in an accident, or I could go through a green light and get through fine, and then we could do the flip side of going through a red light.

Now, the reason why what you said is really insightful is that – so I talk about this relationship. I can't tell you how many people after reading Thinking In Bets came up to me and said, “Annie, I’m so happy that I read that book, because I’ve really been beating myself up for these bad outcomes that I thought were my fault.” What I realized from that book is that oh, a lot of bad outcomes are probably pretty good decisions. It's just bad luck.

I was a little horrified that I had not expressed myself clearly enough to let people know that yes, while that is sometimes true, that the opposing concept must be true as well, that a lot of times when you have really good outcomes, it's actually the result of quite a poor decision process.

I feel the one side of the equation got expressed, or at least that's what people took out of the book, which of course is completely on me, but the other side of the equation didn't get expressed. Essentially, what I felt like happened was people said, oh, there's this disconnection between outcome quality and decision quality, so this is going to get me a way out of my bad decisions, because I can see that that this could be due to luck.

One of the arguments I really push in the first part of this book is that you have to be thinking about all four quadrants when it comes to the relationship between decision quality and outcome quality. You can have what I call earned rewards, which is a good decision, good outcome. You can have bad luck, which would be good decision, bad outcome. You can have good luck, which would be bad decision, good outcome and then you can have what I consider just desserts, which is you made a bad decision, you got a bad outcome.

I think the problem is that we don't actually explore those four quadrants equally. What I try to push for in this book is pay a lot of attention to the good outcomes. Really spend your time in there, because you want to know when it wasn't the result of a good process and you must explore that. Even more importantly, even if you think it was the result of a good decision, it doesn't mean that there wasn't a better decision to be had.

We don't want to rest on our laurels, “I made a pretty good decision. I got a pretty good outcome. I’m just going to leave that and not examine it.” As I tried to think about, well, why is it that we're not doing that, I thought about it in this way and you can tell me whether this resonates with you. If you have a bad outcome, you're already in psychological pain, because you're sad, because things didn't go your way.

If you look at the bad outcomes, either you may discover it was due to a bad decision, at which point you're still sad, but you may discover that it was due to bad luck, at which point, you all of a sudden become happy. You can't really lose anything by looking at the bad decisions, because you either stay in the same state you were already, which is sad, or you can get happy. If we look at the other side of the equation and we're really examining in a real way are good outcomes, in some sense, you can only lose to it, at least in the short run, not in the long run, but in the short run, in the sense that you're feeling pretty good about yourself, stuff went your way.

You closed a sale. Your portfolio increased in value. You won the poker hand. We could go through any examples. I’m feeling pretty good, because I have a good outcome. Now what happens when I examine it? Well, I may find that I made a really great decision. Well, okay. I’m already still happy. That didn't really change my state very much. If I find out it was actually quite a bad process that produced that good outcome, now all of a sudden, I feel bad, so I’m losing to that exploration in the short run.

Now obviously in the long run, it's good, because that's how you get better at things and then you don't repeat the same process over and over again, wondering why it isn't going right again. I think that that's why we're loathed to be actually looking at our wins and trying to figure out if we could have done better.

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[00:17:19] MB: Yeah, that's such a great point. It's funny, I wouldn't say it was necessarily the way that you frame things in Thinking In Bets that cause that confusion. I think it's really just the human brain and the fact that our biases always try to skew our perception of events towards whatever shines the most favorable light on us. Especially for somebody who's more of a newer initiate into the field of decision-making and hasn't really spent a lot of time thinking about and understanding how your brain can short-circuit and deceive you and trick you into thinking that you're smarter than you are and that you're right more often than you are, it's really easy to fall for that trap of finding an easy outlet that says, “Oh, I just failed because of bad luck, not because of bad decisions,” when as you said, really the vein that you can mine really richly is well, what about the good outcomes that happened as a result of poor process? How can you learn from those mistakes and improve your thinking and your decision-making?

[00:18:17] AD: Yeah. I mean, I generally agree, except the one thing that I would add is that I wrote in the book about how we tend to want to shine a favorable light on ourselves. I feel like, I more than most, had I really thought about it, I had a chance to recognize the way that that might be read.

Maybe I couldn't. Maybe I explained it pretty clearly and people are coming away with something just because of human nature that I wasn't saying. Maybe I could have said it better. At any rate, the good news is that I had an opportunity to say it better this time, I think. I’ve got specific exercises in this book that really have you focusing on good outcomes and trying to make some exploration about that.

One of the things just to add to what you said is it's not just that you may find out that you had bad process. You may find out that you had quite good process, but you would want to understand, process as a whole generally isn't good. There's some good parts of the process and some poor parts of the process.

First of all, you'd want to identify, separate that stuff out. The other thing is that as I – in poker, you can play a hand, have positive expected value. In other words, you're expected to win, given the way that you're playing, but that doesn't mean that you're maximizing your expected value. You could have a completely winning strategy, but there's another winning strategy that would win even more that's available to you. Because you're settling in and you don't want to feel like you made the second-best choice, which in the short run would feel bad, you don't actually discover that there's a better choice above that.

Because, it's basically almost never that you would be on the – what we would call the primary line of play. Meaning, the absolute best decision, if you had perfect knowledge and were the ideal decision-maker on earth, you're usually somewhere below that. We should always have that north star that we're striving for. That means that we have to be acknowledging that we may have a winning strategy, but that doesn't mean it's the best one.

[00:20:20] AF: Annie, I want to circle back real quick and talk about this idea of decision-making and how the right decision can possibly have a bad outcome and how a poor decision can have a good outcome, especially as it pertains to us in the world we find ourselves in today. As of recording this, we're in the middle of a pandemic. There's a lot of things going on where people are deciding whether or not they need to send kids back to school, how we do virtual learning.

In listening to the conversation thus far, it made me think, I’ve got several friends who are making the maybe, “bad decision.” They're going out to bars. The second restrictions get lifted, they're in rooms with hundreds of people, but they're all fine, healthy, thriving, no big deal. On the other hand, I’ve got friends of friends of mine who were super careful and had some pre-existing conditions, did not want to go out, wore masks everywhere and maybe in a moment, had to go to the store to get something, wore a mask, went and then they get a test and they're positive.

How do we go about assessing the risk in the world that we live in today and how we can make the best decisions when it comes to following something like, whether or not we're going to go out and be social, whether we follow certain regulations and things that pertain to the pandemic world we're in now?

[00:21:41] AD: Oh, that's such a great question, Austin. Let me just say that while the pandemic is certainly unusual, the uncertainty is actually relatively similar to the type of uncertainty that you might experience normally. Let me just explain what I mean by that. It's very clear when it comes to coronavirus that there's tons of luck involved. I mean, the right bat had to meet the right human for one thing.

[00:22:11] AF: Yeah, the beginning of it all.

[00:22:13] AD: Right. Then as you just pointed out about your friends, it's like, if you go to the grocery store, there's just a lot of luck involved, whether you walk through the aerosols of somebody who has it, or whether you don't. At that moment that you go to the store, if 3% of the people in your area are positive, how many people in that grocery store on that particular instance are going to be positive?

If 3% of people are positive, it doesn't mean 3% of people in the store are positive. Do you actually just run across somebody who is positive or not? On the flip side, if you go to a bar, do you end up sitting next to somebody who has it, or who doesn't? These are a lot matters of luck. Then there's also the problem of of course, the information landscape is shifting very quickly.

The things that we thought we knew about the virus in March are very different than the things we know today, just like the aerosols. In March, we thought it was spread through respiratory droplets, now we know that it can be aerosolized, so it can be sitting in the air. We know that now, that there's a big difference between you die, or you live and there's a whole world in between of being sick for a very long time, or longer-term damage to your organ systems, so we don't want to think about that as a dichotomy anymore.

This is all information that we're collecting as we go along. There's a lot of shifting right now about how contagious children are, for example, and that seems to change every single day. We can really feel the uncertainty so much right now. What I’ve heard people say is, “Well, I should hold off on making any decisions at all, until the environment goes back to being stable.” 

The first thing that I want to say about that is what? What do you mean –

[00:23:49] AF: I was going to say. Yeah.

[00:23:50] AD: Back to being stable. I don't really know what that means. While this uncertainty is really heightened, it doesn't mean that there isn't tons of uncertainty at other times. What I try to say to people just to make the point is I just say, “Do you own stocks and bonds in your portfolio at the same time?” They'll always say, yes. I say, “Well then, you're admitting that the world is a little bit more coronavirus in its environment than you would to think.” That's a lot of the stuff that has to do with illusion of control, overconfidence, over-placement. Those kinds of things are all coming from this status quo bias, are coming from this illusion that there's less uncertainty than there actually is.

I just want to say, obviously, this is a complete tragedy that's unfolding right before us, but there's a lot of lessons to be learned from how to make good decisions when it comes to this environment that you can take out of it into your normal decision-making environment. I’ll just throw a couple out to you.

When there's a lot of uncertainty, you should always prioritize the more reversible decision. We can think about this from a logical standpoint. If we know the information is shifting all the time, so we're going to learn new things in the future. If we know that our decisions are only as good as the inputs, the information that goes into our decision, then what we can recognize is that while we might have to decide now, should we send our kids to school, should we not, for example. That sometime after we've made that decision, there's probably going to be new information that reveals itself to us and some of that information may make us wish that we had chosen something else to do.

When we're weighing two options or more, when we recognize a lot of uncertainty, we want to prioritize reversibility. If we think about the school decision, how could we prioritize reversibility? I’m not saying I have answers to this question. I’m just giving a framework for thinking about it. One is, is it easier to send people to school and then reverse and get them online, than it is to have kids online and then reverse and send them to school?

Whichever one of those is easier, you would probably want to prioritize that. We can also think about that in terms of reversibility of consequences. If kids are at home, for example, we know that they will have learning loss. We could think about how reversible is the learning loss, versus if kids are on in school, they may get their grandparents sick, who may die. They may get the teachers sick. There may be long-term damage from coronavirus. Those kinds of things that feel they would be less reversible than the learning loss.

Again, I’m not saying I have the answers to this, but that's how we want to be thinking about decisions, number one, is how can we be prioritizing reversibility? The second thing is how can we make the lowest impact decision possible? Meaning, something that's not going to impact us in the long run, in order specifically, to collect information.

Again, as a school, if we're thinking about the school problem, what I might say is there's a couple ways that I could think about how could I do some low-impact things first. One might be, it appears that the data looks better for under 10-year-olds than kids who are older than 10. I could send elementary school kids back, where I know that the impact of that is likely to be less, because it seems like, they don't spread it adults. Their parents are generally going to be younger, so that feels there's less risk there, so less of an impact. Even their grandparents are going to tend to be younger.

I could say, well, let let's send the little kids back and then wait and see on the rest, because then, we can collect information about what's happening at the elementary level. Another possible solution would be to say, well, there's a lot of school districts who are going to be going back. Why don't we wait a second, we'll start off online and then we'll use the fact that other school districts are going back in order to improve our information situation, because we're lacking information. That way, we can collect that information and see how it goes for those school districts prior to having to make the decision. That would be saying, we're going to start online and we're going to wait and see. That would be another way that you could do it.

A third thing that you can think about is exercising options in parallel. That would be an example of saying to parents, if you want to keep your kids at home, that's fine. We're going to have a really robust online learning system. Also, if you want to send your kids to school, that's fine. We'll actually try those two things in parallel. That would be another thing that you could do. There's all sorts of ways that you can implement this outside of coronavirus, in terms of thinking about that, but those would be three of the things that you should be really thinking about.

There's how quittable, or how reversible is the decision? What are the low-impact things that I can do that will give me the information I need before making the high-impact decision, or at least to improve the quality of that as the information is shifting? Can I do anything in parallel? That would be stocks and bonds is a way to exercise options in parallel. I’m not sure if things are going to go up or down. I could think about what the probability of those things are and that's going to determine the balance of my portfolio on stocks and bonds, ones which bearish on equities, one which is bullish on equities. There's lots of other different frameworks for thinking through this, but that would be one of the ways that you could think about those problems.

[00:29:27] MB: That's such a great insight and using the example, it's obviously very pertinent for everybody right now dealing with coronavirus, to think through and really apply some of these decision-making criterion, and to demonstrate that the world really is incredibly uncertain and there's lots of hidden information. It's really hard to make decisions. Austin, that was a great question. Thanks for throwing that one in there.

[00:29:51] AF: Annie, just for your sake and everything, I mean, we're not saying that – we're not trying to make a stance here. We're just looking at the current world and how decision-making can be done when we're faced with this uncertainty. I think it really dovetails too into talking about bias, because unfortunately, in the world we live in right now, it feels like, I mean, given the going back to school example, a lot of the people that are planning deep flags that actually have the power to impact lives, or making these decisions based on either political bias, or bias they may not be aware of, and it seems like a lot of these decisions are based on just bias in general.

I know one of the other things you discuss in how to decide is how do we identify these biases and I want to dig into that, but then also, how do we dismantle them, so that we know when we're making these high-impact decisions? We're not looking through the lens of bias, we're looking through the lens of fact and also, following the three steps that you laid out there previously.

[00:30:53] AD: Yeah, that's a really good question. I think I think that part of the problem and this is general, but it speaks to what you're talking about is that once we formed an opinion, once we've made a decision, we tend to interpret the world to fit with the decision, or the opinion that we have stated. In other words, we're trying to certify our beliefs all the time. When we make a decision, it becomes part of our identity, our belief system. If it turns out that information reveals itself later, that may suggest that the decision that we made isn't good.

I want to clarify what I mean by good, that you would have made a decision if you had the knowledge that you had now at the time. I want to just make that clear, because obviously, we're all making decisions where there's going to be stuff that reveals itself later that we wish we had known beforehand, but we don't know it beforehand. First of all, get comfortable with that and be okay with that.

Yet, we're not comfortable with that. What happens when the information appears in the world that would suggest that you might want to reverse course? This is part of the reason why I talk about really prioritizing reversibility, because it allows you, I think, to be thinking about the decision not as an identity choice, but as this is the best thing I can do at this moment, and I’m purposely trying to build in the ability to reverse course, because I recognize that I’m at an information deficit.

How can we think about how to improve the way that we think about that information as it comes in the future? Well, before you actually do the decision, really think about what are the implications? What are you thinking that the different outcomes are? What are the implications and explicitly state these, of what the states of the world might be in the future? What of those would cause you to stick with your decision, versus what of those might cause you to reverse course? Really do that in advance, so that you've got these signposts set up for yourself of if this were to occur in the world, I would actually change course.

The reason why you really need to do that is that once we've got a belief and part of that is we've made a decision, which is now a stated opinion and our opinions are part of our beliefs, that tends to dig a trench, so that when new information appears in the world, instead of looking at it objectively, we'll tend to pull it down into the trench with us. In other words, we'll interpret it to our favor, to support the decision that we already made.

By doing these things in advance and thinking about the decision in the sense of I want to figure out what could happen in the world that would make me change my mind and having that as a framework, that helps you to loosen up those, make the trench a little bit shallower. It makes it a little bit easier to climb out of it.

If we went back to the school decision, one of the things that we could think about with that would be we're going to open schools, but what are the number of infections that we would tolerate within the school before we would reverse course? Think about that well in advance and literally write that number down. That's something that we can do in general in our decision-making.

If you have for example, a particular model of the world in terms of your investment strategy, so we know that there are lots of different models, like there are people who are value investors, or trend followers, or they're growth, either investing in growth stocks, or whatever it might be, those are really just models of your decisions. When you decide on a model like that, it's really helpful to think, what would be the signals in the world which would cause me to change my mind, or cause me to alter my model? Do that really early in the process, so that you're not doing it as the information confronts you, because you've already thought about it in advance. I think that that's actually incredibly helpful for that piece.

In terms of what I would consider the politicization of information, which has become obviously, very problematic, where people aren't thinking about information on its own. They're essentially incorporating – They're thinking about what their political identity is. Then when someone who is a proxy for that political identity is speaking, they cease to evaluate the information and they take it as literally, just a signal of their identity.

I think that in June, there was a study that showed that Republicans were 12 times as likely to not wear masks as democrats. Now I want to be clear, that this is not a Republican-Democrat problem. This is an everybody problem, because Democrats also signal things all the time that cause Democrats to do things, where they haven't necessarily thought through the information either. This is an equal opportunity problem. I just want to make that clear. This example just has to do with the behavior of Republicans.

The interesting thing about masks, if we think, remember, I was talking about what's the impact of the decision. You have a decision between wearing a mask, or not wearing a mask. We can think this through. What's the impact of not wearing a mask? I think it's that you're uncomfortable. If you haven't brushed your teeth, you're smelling your bad breath. If it's hot out, you may be slightly uncomfortable. It may be a little bit hotter under that mask.

I’m trying to think of other really big downside impacts to wearing a mask, but I’m hard-pressed to find one. When we think about the upside of wearing a mask, well, we don't really know what it is. The experts say we don't know, but we know that it's good. In other words, we don't have certainty about what the positives are to that decision, but we know that it does help stem the spread. We know from other countries that have strong mask-wearing policies that it helps control the virus, even if we don't know by how much. It's just better.

This is a really good example of this framework that you can think through when you're uncertain. You can just look and say, outside of – let me just put the identity issue aside and who's saying it and let me actually examine the decision to think about what the difference is between the downside potential and the upside potential of the decision is. In this particular case, what we find out is there's basically no downside, but there's lots of potential upside, even if we're not certain about the upside.

That's actually what we call a free roll. A free roll is just when there's nothing to lose, but a lot to gain would be what a free roll is called. It comes from the 1950s and casinos, they would give people a free roll of nickels to go play the slot machines to get started. One of the arguments that I’ve heard about wearing masks is “Well, I’m not going to wear masks, because you can't tell me how effective they are.” What I’m trying to say is if you're thinking through this through a really clear decision framework, what you realize is it doesn't matter that you can't tell me how effective they are, because what I do have a lot of clarity about is what the downside is, which is almost nothing. I’m a little uncomfortable, because I have a mask on my face.

Therefore, that's something that we should just go ahead and do. There's all sorts of examples of free rolls in real life, applying to a college that's a reach would be a free roll. You don't really think you're going to get in, but nothing bad is really going to come from it. Asking someone out on a first date. They might say no. Who cares?

I think that this is generally a problem. You can take something like that and you can look at how much identity has gotten wrapped into it. What you can see is that identity becomes a really big problem in terms of our ability to actually process information in a rational way, in a logical way. Again, I just want to make it clear, this is a human problem. I’m not saying that Republicans are special in this way. Human beings are special in this way.

[00:38:44] AF: Sure. Free rolls are great, actually. It's funny, we look at that when we're reaching out to guests, I think even when we first reached out to you it's like, there's no downside. You're just going to either ignore us, or tell us no. Might as well ask everybody and their mom that we want to talk to.

[00:38:58] AD: Yeah. That's a really good example of a free roll as well. What's interesting is a lot of people won't reach out in that situation, because they're like, “Oh, I don't I think there's a really low chance they're going to say yes.” Okay, who cares?

One of the ways that you can identify free rolls and this is a really good framework for figuring out how to speed up, as they say, go fast and break things, is just ask yourself if the worst case happens, if the worst thing happens, am I worse off than I was before? In the case of reaching out to a long shot guest, if they don't reply, I don't think you're worse off than you were before. If they reply, you've got an awesome guest on your show.

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[00:41:45] MB: Yeah, that's such a great framework. I mean, it's funny, because even you brought up a couple really good points talking earlier about just the decision-making process and the whole idea of putting identity aside and just looking at what's the upside of this behavior, what's the downside of this behavior. Regardless of what context you put it in, if a behavior has almost no downside and a potentially really high upside, it's a positive expected value decision, so you should make it. That's a great way to think about applying poker knowledge to any decision process.

You said something maybe a few minutes ago that to me is maybe the most – one of the most insightful things, I think you've said in this whole conversation, which has been filled with insights, is this notion of what signal, or what threshold, or what data point will cause you to change your model of reality, or change your opinion about a topic? If you're not willing to ask yourself that and commit to it on the front-end, then you're really falling into a major trap of all kinds of identity and bias and bad thinking really clouding your judgment and your decision-making.

To me, that's a really powerful question to ask yourself and to ask other people in any situation is what would cause you to change your opinion? What data? What information? Because if no data, or no information will cause you to change your opinion and I’m not talking about mask, I’m not talking about coronavirus, I’m not talking about poker hands, I’m not talking about anything. I’m talking about everything. Your opinion should always be willing to change if the data changes. I feel for many, many people I know, the answer is no amount of data would cause me to change my perspective.

[00:43:32] AD: I think that that's really true. I mean, I think even if it's a question of whether the earth is round, which is something that I believe quite deeply. I can think of exactly the data that would come to me that would make me change my mind. Now, I think that's very low probability to ever cross my path. I’m quite aware of what it might be. I think that this is something that really comes through in poker, because when I’m playing poker, obviously, I can't see your cards. What I’m really doing is building models of my opponent. That's what I’m doing all the time. That model of my opponent, I’m using for two purposes. One is I can only see your behavior in terms of trying to figure out what your hold cards are.

I have to build a pretty good model of you to figure out how your behavior might map onto a variety of different hands that you might be holding, which I can't see. I’m then looping that back and saying, given the hand that I think you might be holding, how do I expect that you would behave in the future? Meaning for Austin, I may believe that if he had a top pair and I raised him, that he was not the type of player who would fold in that situation, but maybe I think that Matt would fold in that situation.

I have to think about two people looking at the exact same hand of poker would react to those hands very differently. This is all this model building that I’m doing, that I’m then using to make forecasts about what I think you're going to do in the future. That's simply what you're doing at the poker table. Those are essentially, those forecasts that I’m creating, or those things that I’m thinking about that model, essentially, are those signposts that would cause me to change my mind.

What I’m thinking is in the negative space. I think that Matt has this particular type of hand. If I raise him, he should fold. If you don't fold, there are two things that I could be thinking about. One is that I’ve got your hand wrong and you actually have a stronger hand than I thought. The other is that you have the hand I thought, but you're perceiving that hand differently than I predicted. I have to now think about those hope. Maybe you show me your hand at the end and I can actually find out an answer, but I have to – now I immediately, because you did not act in the way that I expected, which was my sign post, I have to now start going back into my model and adjusting my model.

If you don't do that in poker, you will lose all your money, because you're never going to – you're going to think, “Oh, this player is this type of player.” Then you're not going to notice that that's not how they are. Because you're just going to be rejecting the evidence that's right before your eyes and ears and just say, “No, I know that I was right,” and continue along your merry way. A lot of poker players do that.

Particularly, I experienced that a lot as a female player, because people would have views of me as a woman and then they would stick to their view of me that I was a bad player, that I wasn't going to bluff a lot. For example, that I wasn't going to be particularly creative in my play. Despite the evidence that was coming their way that perhaps their model of me was poor, they would generally be pretty sticky in their model with me. That was something that I was on the good end of quite a bit. It's really important to bring that into your decision-making in general.

When you make a decision, really think about what are the things that could be true in the future that would tell me that I need to start re-examining my model? If you're not doing that, it's going to be very likely that you are going to be too slow to react to changes in the world.

[00:47:03] MB: Such a great insight. That brings me back to something you touched on earlier and we've started to share some of these themes. I’d be really curious to explore the topic a little bit more of how we start to build a vocabulary, or a shared framework for discussing our thinking, discussing our decision-making and working in conjunction with other people to make better decisions.

[00:47:28] AD: Yeah, that's a really good question. One of the things that I go pretty deeply into in the book is how to actually create good conversations that are going to improve your decision-making. The first thing that I really try to get people to understand is that you have to be meaning the same thing when you speak. It's not just that you have to have a shared vocabulary. It's that you need to know what those words mean. The reason for that and then I’ll give you the example of why that is, but of an example of how that goes wrong, is that really, what we're trying to do when we're making group decisions is to access the different perspectives that are living in the group.

We know the aphorism, two heads are better than one. That's because when we bring two heads together, what we think is happening is that those two people have different perspectives on the situation. It's not just that they may hold different facts in their possession, which would be really good to surface. Even if they were looking at the same facts, they may come to very different conclusions about those facts, because data are not truth. Whenever we get data, we're just modeling that data to try to figure out what we think the appropriate model of the world is and then we're behaving accordingly.

The problem is that that intuition that we have that two heads are better than one, just really doesn't express itself generally when you look at group decision-making. We've all heard of group think and bandwagoning, where people just jump on the bandwagon. We know that groups coalesce around consensus too often. The part of the problem is that there's all sorts of different ways in which we hide disagreement from each other. First of all, just in terms of the science, super, super simple, beautiful, elegant study that shows that groups have a lot of problems in the way that they make decisions, comes from Richard Zeckhauser and Dan Levy over at Harvard. They did the simplest thing. They took a room full of students, a class and they asked the class questions as you do in the class, where you're asking questions and they're taking a poll of the students.

For one group of students, they had the students raise their hand in answer to the question. They put up some question that had some answer, like A, B, or C and they'd have people – how many people think it's A, how many people think it's B, how many people think it's C. What they found was that when you had the hand-raising exercise, in other words, this was happening in public, super majorities formed. Meaning, the majority of the class would settle in on one of the answers.

They then took another group of students and they gave them clickers. These were private to them and they had them answered by clicker. When they answered by clicker, the super majorities completely disappeared. What this tells us is that we have a problem with group discussion, because we end up with this appearance of consensus. It turns out that if you could somehow get into somebody's private mind, you would find out that that consensus didn't really exist. It just appeared to exist.

Let's just start there at that problem. Part of the way to solve this is to create more precision in the way that we talk to each other and a shared sense of how you're supposed to actually walk through a decision in order to surface the different opinions that live in the heads of the people in the group. Now, I can give you an example.

There was a really great survey done by Michael Mauboussin and Andrew Mauboussin. It was from Phil Tetlock, who's written super forecasting, talks a lot about these natural language terms that we use to describe probabilities, things like likely and real possibility and maybe and sometimes and slam dunk and always and never. These are all words that are implying some probability and we use them a lot when we talk to each other.

Like if we were talking about some tactic maybe that we wanted to implement. You might say to me, “Oh, well I think it has a real possibility of succeeding,” and then I nod back to you in agreement. Phil said, that the problem with these words are that first of all, they have very broad meaning, so not everybody means the same thing by them. Second of all, they let you get out of it. When you say, “Well, I mean, it was a real possibility, because there's no precision to it, it doesn't allow you to close any feedback loops.”

Michael Mauboussin and Andrew Mauboussin decided to do a survey. There's 20 natural language terms. The survey is in my book. It's a great thing to do as a team exercise. He just surveyed people and said, when you're thinking about one of these words, what do you think the probability is that something is going to happen in the future for you to use this word? If I say this tactic has a real possibility of working, what does that mean? What's the likelihood that it actually works and speak precisely, please and percentages.

They had people fill out this survey and it turns out that people just don't agree at all on what these terms actually mean when you actually ask them to speak with precision. Surprisingly, people don't agree on what always and never means. That's pretty surprising. Always means somewhere between 95% and a 100% of the time, depending on who you ask. Never, I think might be between zero and 10% of the time. I may have that reversed.

Here is a really surprising one. Real possibility. The biggest range I’ve ever gotten in doing this exercise was 16% to 81%. Think about what that's doing to your group discussions. People are saying things like, I think this is a real possibility and people are nodding in agreement. I haven't ever uncovered that Matt who's nodding at me in agreement, actually thinks that means 20% of the time. What I think is that it means 65% of the time. We go along our merry way believing that we have agreed, because I never actually figured out how are we supposed to talk to each other, in order to find out where we have dispersion.

If you hide the dispersion, you can't have a good group process, because you're not actually getting all that good stuff that comes from having more people involved in the decision, which is really different perspectives and different knowledge.

[00:53:41] AF: I don't know. I think I can tell you that never happens to me.

[00:53:44] AD: Ah, very funny.

[00:53:47] AF: No, but extremely powerful points. I think it's crazy when you ask people to put those percentages behind it, the results you get and just the lack – the realization that we're really not even speaking the same language most of the time.

[00:54:01] AD: No. One of the nice things about this exercise and again, it's in how to decide is that I get teams to do the exercise. Then they find out, “Oh, my gosh. I can't even believe Austin over here thought that meant 25%. What? I thought it was 50%.” I exposed to them that they actually aren't speaking the same language. Then I tell them, well, here's the good news. Everybody on the team now has a list for themselves.

When you feel like you want to say real possibility, please just go refer to your list and say what the percentage is that you have next to real possibility, instead of using that term. Likewise, when we think about a shared understanding of what process is, if I say a real possibility to you, you should say to me, “Well, what do you mean by that? Could you give me a probability?” What this allows us to do is actually, surface where we disagree. Then you have these amazing conversations that occur.

Because I think that part of the problem is that first of all, humans like to agree, for the same reason that when I make a decision, or I have a belief and new information comes in in the future that maybe says that I should change that belief, I don't, because I’m really trying to protect my identity.

I also think that naturally, that when I’m talking to other people, that really what I’m trying to get them to do is certify my beliefs. In other words, I want agreement. We tend to be lingering in the agreement, as opposed to surfacing the disagreement, which is what is actually really interesting. The fact that we all agree that the earth is round is uninteresting. Why should we talk about it? We should actually find out all the places that we disagree. Yet, I’m sure, if you think about meetings that you've had in the past, you immediately realized that it's a lot of, I think that people should be wearing masks and I tell you why.

Then you say, “Oh, I completely agree with you and let me also give my five-minute dissertation on why I think that's correct.” Then Matt says, “Oh, I also agree and let me give my five minutes.” 15 minutes into the meeting, we've all spent a whole bunch of time about something that is non-controversial, at least within our group, that we all happen to agree on. We're not instead talking about well, what do you think about, whether it's safe even with a mask on to go into a grocery store? We may have there, a lot of dispersion around that, but we haven't actually discussed that, because we're lingering on the stuff that makes us feel good, where we all agree and we can all signal to each other that we're part of a group. This is really in a microcosm of the problem with the political identity stuff that's been happening in terms of that driving your beliefs as well.

[00:56:46] AF: Yeah, it's funny. I think that happens a lot, not only in work situations where you're justifying the decisions you've made, or the process you're following. A lot of times when you're hanging out with people in a social setting and something that can be controversial comes up, you all agree. It's like, you spend so much time sitting there, patting each other on the back, basically reaffirming your own decisions, as opposed to maybe seeking points of maybe not intentional controversy, but points of growth.

I mean, I think, I love the analogy of a trench, but in my mind, there's nothing more dangerous than a deep trench and being able to – I always think that the biggest superpower someone can have, especially in their adult life and as they get older is the willingness and the ability to let go of a long hell believe.

[00:57:34] AD: Absolutely. Well, you see here, we're doing it. I couldn't agree more.

[00:57:36] AF: Well, based on new information. I guess, I should clarify. Not just change your belief as you want to.

[00:57:41] AD: Well, yeah. You don't want to randomly change your beliefs, but the open-mindedness to corrective information. I want to linger on that for a second, not because we agree, but I think because there's actually value. If we were to think about the decision process, we can think about at the tail-end of the process, you've got certain options that you're considering. When you choose an option, what you've chosen is the set of possible features that could unfold. For any given option, there's different ways that that could turn out.

The first thing we want to do when we're thinking about options is identify what those possibilities are. Then once we've identified what those possibilities are, we want to think about what the likelihood of those different things are. Very simple. If I go through a red light, I could think about what's the probability I get in an accident, what's the probability I get a ticket, what's the probability I go through fine and nothing happens to me and we could think about what those futures are.

If I’m thinking about hiring a job candidate, I could say, let's say that I’m particularly interested in, concerned about turnover, I could say, I want to think about one outcome would be they leave within a year. Another outcome could be they leave between a year and two years and another outcome could be they stay beyond that and then I could think about a probability for each of those possibilities.

What's really important to think about is that when you choose an option, there's all these different ways that it could turn out, but what tells you which way you observe on that particular time is due to luck. If there's some outcome that's going to occur 5% of the time, what that means just definitely, it's axiomatic is that it's going to happen 5% of the time. The thing is that you don't know which 5% you're going to observe, when you're going to see that 5%.

On any given time that you make that decision that has say, a bad outcome 5% of the time, you could get a bad outcome on that time and you don't have any control over it. That's the influence of luck.

The way I think about luck is luck is something that you need to see clearly, but you can't actually do much about. You need to see it clearly, because you need to actually know what the possibilities are and what the probabilities are as close as possible, in order to make a good decision. I’m actually interested in this particular case and what's happening prior to that.

Essentially, what's happening is that our beliefs are informing everything about the decision. Our beliefs inform what our goals are, what our values are, beliefs inform what we think our options are. Our beliefs inform what resources we believe we have to put toward those options. Frankly, it's our beliefs that tell us what we think the possible outcomes are and what we think the probability of those outcomes, of each of those outcomes is. That's all driven by our beliefs.

Here's the problem. We can think about, this is where we get the intervention of imperfect information, because when we think about what we know, versus what we don't know, it's like, what we know could fit on the head of a pin and what we don't know is the size of the universe. Now, the issue is that our beliefs, really if you think about it are the foundation of all of our decisions, because they're informing everything that come everything about the decision.

Our decision-making house is built on this foundation and that foundation has two problems with it. One is that there are inaccuracies in that foundation. Some of the things that we believe, in fact, many of them are not really perfectly true. They tend not to be perfectly false either. They're generally somewhere in between, but we can think about those as cracks in the foundation.

Then the other problem that I just said is that the foundation is flimsy. What we know compared to the knowable – what there is to know about the world is quite small, and so what we'd really like to be doing is broadening that foundation as well, to beef it up.

Our decision-making house is just sitting on this weak foundation. Really if you think about it, the biggest thing that you want to do as a decision-maker is to improve that foundation. In other words, improve the quality and the breadth of your beliefs. The only way you can do that is to go search around in the universe of stuff that you don't know and collide with both new information and corrective information.

Now, some of that you could Google, but much of that information is going to live in other people's heads. It becomes imperative to be interacting with people who may hold different views than you, A, and B, interact with them in a way where they would be willing to express those views to you. Then you have to remain open-minded to them. Because when we think about things like, confirmation bias for example, where we're really interacting with the world in a way that's seeking out confirmation of the things we already believe, that's a walking through the universe of stuff we don't know problem, which is that we're not taking a random walk through it. We're specifically walking into the little sections of it and looking around in the parts that already agree with us.

How on earth is that going to help the foundation of your decisions? It's going to reinforce the inaccuracies in it and it's certainly not going to broaden your knowledge, because they're repeating back to you things that you already believe. I think what's interesting about it is that if I say to people, would you like to become a better decision-maker over time? They'll say yes. I’ve yet to meet somebody who says no to that.

I say, “Well, okay. Let me just ask you hypothetically, in order to improve your decision-making over time, could you imagine that you may have to find out that some decisions that you've made in the past have been poor?” They say yes. I say, “Could you imagine that you need to learn a bunch of new stuff?” Yes. “Could you imagine that you're going to have to find out that some belief that you hold pretty dearly maybe you need to recalibrate in some way?” They'll say yes. They'll say that all in theory, they'll recognize that that's true.

In practice, when they're actually interacting with the information in the moment that they collide with that stuff that's corrective, they either don't see it. They don't seek it out, or they reject it altogether and they pull, as I say, pull it down into the trench and just say, “Well, actually, I don't think that that's what that means at all.” Then they'll do some interesting narrative spinning and there you go.

This idea of how are you thinking about how do I change my mind, how do I find that information that's going to help me reverse my beliefs, this literally it's the key. If you don't do that, you can't improve your decision-making. It's like, everything that you need to be doing has to be directed around that.

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[01:06:08] MB: Yeah. I mean, that is such a critical foundational element of all of this. You did such an incredible job just bringing this whole conversation together into really, the synthesis of how you can think about decision-making, how you can think about investigating your own biases, how to start to become someone who's trying to improve their thought process, instead of just constantly feel validated and feel they're right and not really have the courage to investigate their own thinking.

Annie, for somebody who wants to start putting this into practice in some way, what is one simple action item, or starting point that they can execute on to take a leap into this broader journey?

[01:06:59] AD: I would say, yeah, so the single most important thing that I think that people can do is start figuring out how to actually elicit other people's true opinions. Let me talk about it in a one-on-one basis and then how you might actually implement this into a team setting. Generally, the way that people elicit feedback goes awry. The reason it goes awry is that usually, when I offer you my opinion first about the thing that I’m trying to get feedback, what I’ve done is put you in a position where if you have a different opinion, you have to actually publicly disagree with me.

Let me explain what I mean. If I was thinking about a poker hand, for example, the way that most people ask about poker hands is this person raised in front of me and I’ll tell you some facts about that person and the situation. I’ll say, this person raised in front of me and then I looked down at ace, queen and I raised, what do you think I should have done? Now the problem is that the feedback I’m trying to elicit from you, which is what should my action have been, I have just now told you what I actually did.

If you think that I shouldn't have raised, I’ve actually put you in a bad position, at least as it comes to these cognitive biases, because now you have to disagree with me if you actually do disagree with me. What's going to happen there is generally, that either you're going to continue to disagree with me, but then not actually say so, because maybe you don't want to just embarrass me, or maybe you don't want to embarrass yourself, because you think I’m more of an expert than you are. That could be one thing that happens.

Another is that while I’m speaking and I say, so I raised, what do you think I should do? Your opinion could shift without you knowing it. This is particularly if I’m in a leadership position, or if I’m perceived as a subject matter expert. Or if I’m for some reason, you feel I have higher status than you do. Your opinion may bend toward mine. That is another thing that could happen.

The third thing is that if you do disagree with me, you'll tend to put it in bubble wrap. Yeah. No, I think raising is pretty good there, but did you think about this other thing, as an example. We can think about this as we're thinking about eliciting feedback on anything. I think Forrest Gump was a horrible movie. What do you think? We're on a hiring committee and we're looking at two candidates. I’m like, “I think Susan’s a superstar. What do you think?” All these ways, we offer our own opinion first. What we're doing is infecting the other person with our beliefs.

The simplest thing that you could do, the biggest change you could make in your life is when you're trying to get somebody else's opinion, don't offer them yours first. What I want to do is say to you, the person raised in front of me, I had ace, queen, what do you think I should do? If you say to me, “Well, what did you do?” Which is normally the question that you get back. “Hey, we just interviewed those two candidates, which one do you like better?” People will say, “Well, what do you think of them?”

They're doing that because they want to make sure you're on the same page, but you're specifically trying to find out if you're not. By doing this, I allow you to express your true opinion. Then now, I can actually find out, “Oh, actually, Matt thinks I should have just called there, so let me explore that. Let me find out why Matt thinks that before I offer you any of my own thoughts. This is going to help me to collide with more of that universe that I want to be interacting with in terms of knowledge.”

How do you actually implement that into a team? That becomes harder, because if Austin, Matt and Annie are having a conversation and I do this in the way that I speak to Matt, now when Matt expresses his opinion, obviously he's now infected Austin. I want to avoid that. This is now the second biggest thing that you could do in your life is think about the feedback that you're trying to get from your team prior to going in and having a meeting on the team and make sure that you elicit it from each team member independently.

In other words, in a way that the other team members cannot see initially. As an example, if you're just thinking, if you're on a hiring committee and four people have just interviewed the two candidates, figure out what are the things that matter to you in terms of the candidate, so it may be of the candidates we're going to see, where does this candidate sit on a scale of zero to 10 compared to that reference group?

Or you might say on a scale of zero to five, how autonomous do I think this individual will be? We can think about what those are. Another thing that we could do is we could be doing a pre-mortem, which is just thinking about the ways things can go wrong in the future and I could do this as the feedback that I’m trying to elicit. In any case, I’m thinking about what that feedback is. Then what I do is we all interview the two candidates and then we literally don't talk. I send this form out, everybody replies to the form independently. I collate all of that together and then I reveal it to the group before we get into the meeting and what we find out is that in the universe of candidates that we're going to see, Annie thinks the person was an eight, Matt thinks they were a six and maybe Austin thinks they were a five.

Now we find out oh, we actually have a pretty big spread on this. Now this is what we should discuss. What you're going to find out when you do that pre-work is a couple of great things come out of it. The first is you're going to find out there's more dispersion than you think, which is a good thing. The second thing is you're going to find out that there's areas of agreement. Also, a good thing. When you go into the meeting now, everybody's going to know what you need to talk about, which is we all agree on this. Let's actually talk about the areas of dispersion.

Now people can give their rationales, not in order to convince other people of their point of view, but just to express them about why they think that all these different things are true. In that process, not only do you collide with more of these different perspectives, but in having people actually talk about why they believe these things that are different than other people in the room, the whole group becomes more educated. They learn more facts. They get access to different ways of thinking about problems. They may have access to different data somebody else could be bringing different data to bear than you did on the problem and so on and so forth.

If that's all that you did was change that thing about the way that you interact with other people, you would be so much better off, because you would be constantly be learning and growing from other people, which is really what you're trying to do.

[01:13:34] MB: Well, Annie. I know we could go on and talk about decision-making and all of these strategies for hours and hours, but this has been an incredible conversation. Such, such great insights. So many powerful and applicable ways to improve our own decision-making. For listeners who want to find the book, who want to find out more about you and your work, what is the best place for them to do that online?

[01:13:56] AD: Oh, so you can go to annieduke.com. There's a contact form there, so you can e-mail me there. There's links if you want to hire me for stuff. There's a newsletter link there. Obviously, I do consulting and speaking and whatnot, but there's also a newsletter link there. You can find out how to buy the books there, so that how to decide and Thinking In Bets. You can also follow me on Twitter. I’m actually pretty active on Twitter and that's @AnnieDuke. I would say, those are probably the two best ways to get in touch with me. You can buy my books on the usual suspects.

[01:14:27] MB: Well, Annie. Thank you so much for coming on the show, for sharing all of this wisdom. It was great to have you back on here, an even better conversation where we really got into tons of great insights about better decision-making.

[01:14:39] AD: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[01:14:41] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talk about in the show, links transcripts, everything we discuss and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com, just hit the show notes button right at the top. 

Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

October 15, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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Would You Bet Your Life On It? How to Be Certain with David Kidder

October 08, 2020 by Lace Gilger

David was an early angel investor in AirBnB and SpaceX and remains an angel investor for over 40 startups. He's co-founder of Bionic, which offers proprietary organizational solutions to Fortune 100 companies. David would love to chat about how the world's most influential CEOs see the world similarly, and how anyone can develop the same sight.

David Kidder is NYT Best-Selling author of The Intellectual Devotional and author of The Startup Playbook featuring exclusive interviews with 40 of the world's most influential CEOs and founders. While writing this book, David discovered each interviewee shared one of five world views, interviewees like Tony Hsieh, Elon Musk, and Sara Blakely. He walks us through them in his third book, "New to Big: How Companies Can Create Like Entrepreneurs, Invest Like VCs, and Install a Permanent Operating System for Growth." 

  • Moments of disruption have the potential to reshape our lives

  • The ability and opportunity to scale a massive growth company is very very rare. 

  • What criterion would you “Bet your life” on a company, startup, or job?

  • What are the KEY THINGS you must understand before jumping in and investing your life, time, and money into a business? 

  • Uncovering what your secret competitive advantage is that will allow you to scale and build a company 

  • “Proprietary Gifts"

    • Understand something that no one else understands and have the ability to execute it. 

  • Alignment of perfect factors to create a massive growth company 

    • Massive need in the world

    • Insight into how to solve it

    • Anchored in a proprietary gift of yours 

  • How do you find our proprietary gifts? 

  • Undervaluing your gift and overvaluing others is very common. 

  • The way you capture value is to focus and go all-in on the things you naturally gravitate to. 

  • “Whoever cares the most wins” You have to do it for the right reasons. 

  • 5 Key Lens

    • Idea selection

      • Is it coming from a proprietary gift?

      • Do you have a focus?

      • Build painkillers, not vitamins. 

    •  Execution

      • 10x Factor - what element of the business can be 10x better or impossible to replicate? Invest asymmetrically in this component of the business

      • Monopoly - can you build a monopoly

  • Optionality is the enemy. The more things you do, the weaker you are. Concentrate all your energy and mind on solving the issue. 

  • It takes 8-10 years to build a company, you must be committed to the outcome. 

  • Dominate one customer need before reaching for another toe-hold with the customer. Go extremely deep into one need and dominate that before you expand at all. 

  • The job of a founder is 3 things:

    • Vision and roadmap (correct within 3 years)

    • Talent - getting the right people in the right seats during the right stages. The wrong person in the wrong seat early on can often be fatal. 

    • Never run out of money. Earn it or raise it. 

  • Very few companies ever raise venture capital.

  • What does the DATA show about WHERE growth comes from? 

  • A VC or angel investor needs to make 40 bets to get a solid return. 

  • 7% of VC investments generate 70% of the total returns. 

  • Those 2 investments have 2 qualities

    • (1) high conviction

    • (2) nonconsensus decision making - high disagreement rate 

  • How do you discover a big unmet customer need?

    • Never invest in an entrepreneur who loves their idea, invest in entrepreneurs who are obsessed with solving the problem 

    • Orient yourself to the truth. Experiment and test. 

    • Wishful thinking is the enemy. - Elon Musk

  • “When you’re crossing your fingers, you’re in deep, deep trouble."

  • How do you create a permanent-growth capability at your organization?

  • Investments in an innovative frontier are like trial balloons - you find where the need is, where the solution is

  • People wildly underestimate the forces of MARKET TIMING and OUTSIDE FORCES in shaping their lives and the success of their companies. 

  • Growth happens often because you’re in the right place and the right time. 

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Trends allows you to interact with and learn from a community of industry leaders to be the first to know what emerging trends are coming next.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • David’s Website

  • David’s LinkedIn and Twitter  

  • New to Big 

  • Bionic

Media

  • CNBC - “Op-ed: Employers will be failing their workers if they don’t learn these lessons from the pandemic” by David Kidder and Vanessa Colella

  • Steelcase - “Q+A with David Kidder: Think like a startup”

  • Atlanta Small Business Network - “How Organizations Can Stay Flexible During Turbulent Times – David Kidder, NYT Best-Selling Author”

  • [Book Review] “New to Big by David Kidder and Christina Wallace” by Andy Ghillyer

  • Signal 360 - “David Kidder: Lead With Empathy”

  • MuckRack Profile - David Kidder

  • GE - “David Kidder: Taming Big To Bigger — Fostering New to Big”

  • Devathon - “An Interview with Entrepreneur David Kidder”

  • HBR - “To Innovate Like a Startup, Make Decisions Like VCs Do” by David Kidder and John Geraci

  • Crunchbase Profile - David S. Kidder

  • AngelList Profile - David S. Kidder

  • Mixergy - A conversation with David Kidder (on fear and entrepreneurship)

  • [Podcast] The CMO Podcast – David Kidder & Christina Wallace

  • [Podcast] Mastering Innovation - Entrepreneur David Kidder Says Loving Your Idea Is the Wrong Business Obsession

  • [Podcast] Business Leaders Podcast - David S. Kidder

  • [Podcast] ADEXCHANGER TALKS - Can Big Companies Incubate Startups?

Videos

  • QuickRead - New to Big by David Kidder and Christina Wallace | Summary | Free Audiobook

  • Entre - Founders Series, David S. Kidder, Co-Founder & CEO at Bionic

  • Rita McGrath - A mindset for growth even in a crisis - Rita McGrath and David Kidder Fireside Chat

  • SuperPowers Podcast - Episode 5: David Kidder - Act on Passionate Obsessions

  • Propelify - The Startup Playbook | David Kidder | Bionic

  • Techo Media - David Kidder | Tech Cocktail Week Vegas Sessions | August 2014

  • Westchester Digital Summit - David S. Kidder sits with Silverback Social CEO Chris Dessi

  • Silverback Social - David S. Kidder Keynotes the Baltimore Digital Summit

  • Max Kalehoff - David Kidder On Entrepreneurship

Books

  • Amazon Author page - David S. Kidder

  • New to Big: How Companies Can Create Like Entrepreneurs, Invest Like VCs, and Install a Permanent Operating System for Growth

  • The Startup Playbook: Secrets of the Fastest-Growing Startups from their Founding Entrepreneurs by David S. Kidder and Reid Hoffman

  • The Intellectual Devotional Series (5 books) by David S. Kidder, Noah D. Oppenheim Bruce K. Young, and Alan Wirzbicki

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fable. 

[00:00:19] AF: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, with more than five million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. In this episode, we talk about how to get certain before investing your time, energy, money and ultimately your life into a project with our guest, David Kidder.

 

Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our email list. We have some amazing content on there, along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time for What Matters Most in Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting, and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com. You can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com or if you’re on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the worder SMARTER. That’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 444-2222. 

 

In our previous interview, we talked about the secret skill of cultivating happiness with returning guest, who’s one of my all-time favorites, Dr. Tal Ben Shahar. Now, for our interview with David. David Kidder is a New York Times best-selling author of The Intellectual Devotional, author of The Startup Playbook featuring exclusive interviews with 40 of the world’s most influential CEOs and founders. While interviewing people like Tony Hsieh, Elon Musk, Sara Blakely, David discovered that these world changers have a shared world view. He walks us through this and more in his newest book, New to Big: How Companies Can Create Like Entrepreneurs, Invest Like VCs and Install a Permanent Operating System for Growth.

 

[00:02:10] MB: David, welcome to the Science of Success.

 

[00:02:12] DK: Thank you for having me. Grateful to be here.

 

[00:02:14] MB: Well, we’re super excited to have you on the show today. You have such a rich background with so much experience. I’d love to start with a little bit about your story, some of the companies you’ve scaled, and some of the thought leader, and industry shapers that you’ve worked with and interacted with.

 

[00:02:31] DK: I think of my career as — my job as entrepreneurship and have been doing this since I was right out of college, age I think 19 or 20, when the .com boom started. I’ve lived through, I think now as my guess, three major crises from the .com, to the 2008, obviously 9/11 and now this. I had no idea that there’d be these many moments of disruptions, so I’ve gotten comfortable with how to learn and lead in these moments. Also, just deeply curious about the mindset of great entrepreneurs and so happy to talk about those in my own experience. But also, the book I’ve written about the ways to think, I guess, when you’re trying to bet your life.

 

[00:03:08] MB: Perfect. Yeah. I would say, let’s start with the mindset of great entrepreneurs. I know you’ve interviewed some of the most successful entrepreneurs on the planet, people like Elon Musk, Sara Blakey, et cetera. Tell me, when you sat down and had these conversations with people who built transformational companies and scaled huge businesses, were there any commonalities that you saw between the way that they approach business?

 

[00:03:35] DK: Yeah. I mean, there’s a lot. First of all, I think — the first thing to recognize is that it’s extremely rare that it happens. It does happen, but if you look at jus statistically speaking, the probability you got a chance to build in scale a massive company is just very, very rare. Taking all talent aside, opportunity aside, if you equalize all of it, it’s just a very rare thing. There are so many factors that go into those outcomes, like outside forces and others that indicate the opportunities to build a great business.

 

I wrote this book called The Startup Playbook, which was 40 interviews, 300 hours with some of the best entrepreneurs in the world as you mentioned. Kind of when you came back and you listen to what they said, they all basically said that the criteria by which they bet their life on a startup was really around five things. I’m happy as we get into this conversation to share more about what those five things are, but the one that was dominant and really the first one is this idea of proprietary gifts. 

 

Very few successful entrepreneurs just chase white space. They look in the marketplace and say, “Well, there’s money there” and they go after it. In many cases, they’re born to do it. It comes as a gift of experience or their life, quite frankly, where they understand something that no one will understand in how to execute it. That is really the secret. That’s the unfair advantage, is that there’s truly a one-on-one type of founder who can go and do it.

 

Many companies go out into the space and just try to build a company to solve a problem in the world. Usually, one or two win and the first one usually win 70%, 80% of the space when it’s a new space. They know something that no one in the world has. That proprietary gift was really the first lens, the first criteria that it was a great opportunity. More important as an entrepreneur to think about when you do go and start a company that you have a proprietary gift, that you’re not just crossing your fingers and starting something because you like the idea of being an entrepreneur. But there’s an obsession and there’s giftedness that’s going to allow you to win.

 

[00:05:27] MB: How do you think about creating, or cultivating or uncovering what your own proprietary gift might be?

 

[00:05:34] DK: I have three sons, they’re young, they’re 10, 13 and 14. We think about a lot about this in the sense of -- I think it starts in what you deeply care about. A life that happened to you or you could put yourself in a place where an event would happen, where you discover something, an insight. But the insight is equally about the need, right? But it’s also the insights about how to solve it.

 

The answer of how you solve it, typically comes from that proprietary gift. When those things align, massive need in the world. This could be a profit for a nonprofit or otherwise, with an insight in how to solve it that’s anchored in a proprietary gift. You start to see the stars align. Then there are other signals where like, every 10 hours feels like one hour in your work and your productivity is high. Those are really great pulse so to speak for errors in your thinking. Because with your conscious and subconscious life, you need both working really 24 hours a day to solve something.

 

That obsession is a good signal that, wow, you’re going to process twice as long as someone who -- even for the founder of the company, when they leave work, they actually leave the work behind. I just don’t think that you can be in a need in the world and solve it with a company where you’re not thinking about it 24 hours a day.

 

[00:06:45] MB: You mentioned that it’s really difficult to find all three of these things at once for anyone, yourself included. When you’re thinking about where you are today, what opportunities you should pursue, what do you do if you can’t find something that meets all three of those things.

 

[00:07:05] DK: Well, like I said, it’s very rare that they actually align. We see all these amazing successful entrepreneurs but we don’t see is the millions that fail within five years behind them. The highest risk, in most cases the least award is to be the founder. I think that that’s only founder is successful is a complete myth. I have contact and friends who know that their superpower is not to find the company, it’s to scale it, right?

 

They have very particular superpowers across the stages of a company’s life, whether it be in the early stages, mid or late stages where they can be leveraged. They do phenomenally, successfully economically, and otherwise on leveraging their proprietary gift, following an idea that an entrepreneur created.

 

I think knowing yourself and having that real, honest, high integrity conversation of what you’re good and how to join a movement if you’re not the founder is equally as important as the need to start a company. I would almost recommend that people don’t start a company, you better join a great one learn how to do it. In doing so, you can discover your own path.

 

[00:08:11] MB: That’s a really good advice, and an advice honestly that’s not shared very frequently. That almost makes me come back in some ways to this notion of the proprietary gift and the idea you touched on learning from existing or previous experiences. For somebody who says, I don’t know what my proprietary gift is, how do you figure out what it is or does everyone have one? Can you create one? Do you have to build it, is it just you’re born with it or not? How do you conceive of that?

 

[00:08:39] DK: Well sometimes, you don’t even realize that you’re in it or maybe you don’t even like the answer. There’s a psychology of loss of version where you always sort of like overvalue what you have and undervalue what you could become. There’s a security in that. When you look at where you spend your energy and you have the highest effective rates in return on time, return on money to some extent. Really, the answer to that question I view.

 

Sometimes you’re like the answer. Maybe you’re really good at music but there’s no money in music, but that’s where you get to this is. Or maybe you’re an entrepreneur but you want to be in a super high-tech AI meets Space X sort of thing, and that feels really sexy and valuable to the world, but you’re really good at networking and that’s your gift. I think there’s this sense that valuing your gift and undervaluing your gift and overvaluing someone else’s is really kind of like -- you kind of suffer from the sin of comparison and you want what others have in a way. Versus just focusing on yours, despite how you feel about its value in the world. The power of the value capturing is just the focus, is to really go all in on the things where you naturally flow, and you should create in that strength.

 

I mean, I look back at sort of like success and failures I’ve had in my career, inevitably, there’s an incredible alignment between kind of the original ideas that I created and built with teams versus the ones where I chase someone else’s dream, where I chase the press release of another company or something that look really like a trend, those big marketplace. And I knew I could get my team together and raise capital.

 

The reality is, whoever cares the most wins. If you don’t have that and you’re Gen-X because you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, you’ll ultimately get exposed and you won’t have success. I don’t know if that helps you, but those are signals around really looking at what you’re good at, and then finding the biggest need the world to solve with that talent.

 

[00:10:25] MB: Yeah, I think that’s helpful. The fact that — you touched on this a couple of time, with this idea of maybe that mission isn’t you founding a company, it’s finding an organization that you could be part of, that’s dynamic, that lets you really focus in on what your core strengths are and you can create the most value. 

 

[00:10:42] DK: I have a friend who has served as the director of monetization for two of the most successful technology companies ever. He’s crazy. Well, he’s always taken the number two or number three position in a company. He doesn’t want a big title. He’s in the background but he is the one who architects its financial future, and he’s been rewarded into an astonishing amount of wealth. But also, he lives out that skill and that’s what he does. He is between a B round in a C round or B in a D round type of person. He goes in and does a very specific, very valuable, hard task of solving how the company is going to make repeatable scalable revenue.

 

He’s been rewarded with that and he’s very humble about it, but he’s probably one of the best in the world. Like he knows he’s not the founder, he’s that guy. I just think that that’s an example of someone who’s extraordinary, but also knows his superpowers. I encourage people to stare on that truth and not really wish they were someone else or wish they had more scale, or wish they were building a company. It’s was sexier, but it’s really themselves in all of this. That’s what matters the most.

 

[00:11:47] MB: What are some of the other elements that you uncover that shaped the mindset of great entrepreneurs?

 

[00:11:54] DK: Well, either the second through fifth lens — I’ll simply say, the first three are really about idea selection. The first is, is it coming from a proprietary gift? We’ve covered that. Second is, is do I have extreme focus? Have I been able to go in and validate very quickly the need in how to solve it? I don’t have 10 options. I figured out the one option.

 

Ironically, optionality is the enemy. The more things you do, the weaker you are as a company. You have to be able to get the science of focus right so you can get all of your concentration of your energy, your mind, and the team and quite frankly, that subconscious-conscious cycles going to solve it. Because the chances are low, you will be able to do it anyway.

 

Extreme focus is the second lens. The third lens is, you got to have painkillers not vitamins. I think I’ve been saying this now for 10 years when the book first came out. But painkillers are solving chronic, lifelong, malignant pain in a customer. Vitamins are nice, they’re wishful thinking. You hope the customer likes it or you hope they behave differently. But the truth always lives in the behavior of our customer. In this case, the pain killer is the answer to that question of what to solve or how to solve it.

 

The fourth lens as you saw those first three, which most ideas die in. The last about execution is, what do I execute? The fourth lens is really the 10X factor, which is, what element of the business can be ten times better or impossible to replicate? That is really powerful in the sense that, once you start investing asymmetrically in that one thing, the company gets to a place where it’s uncatchable. Which leads to the fifth lens, which is, can you build a monopoly, the M word?

 

Can you put hooks and barbs in customers so they stay with you long enough, i.e. about three years so that you can solve the whole need and you can also build a business? If you’re one and done quickly, it’s very hard to get through the cycle of customers, volume of customers you would need to actually discover the truth for your product or your service and be with them economically to build the business.

 

Those five lenses have been written out 10 years ago, have really just led my life. It’s led 40 of my angel investments in the last 15 years, 17 years and it’s been the advice that I really give most entrepreneur thinking about what or should I build the business and how to do it.

 

[00:14:06] AF: This episode of the Science of Success is brought to you by our partners at BetterHelp. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P. You'll get 10% off your first month by going to betterhelp.com/sostoday for 10% off your first month. Let me ask you, what interferes with your happiness? Is there something preventing you from achieving your goals? I know there have been plenty, plenty of times getting too far into my own head has kind of gotten in my way. Limiting beliefs, thoughts of doubt, it can all build up inside you and become paralyzing or cause counterproductive behaviors to form. 

 

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[00:15:56] MB: You said a couple of things that I thought were really insightful. One, this idea of investing asymmetrically in the piece of your business that’s really hard to replicate or has a competitive advantage. Tell me a little bit more about that/

 

[00:16:10] DK: It’s about finding something that as it gets to critical mass, the very next thing after critical mass is like a velocity that’s uncatchable. For example, that could be — there are lots of forms of monopolize. There could be data, right? I plug into a very specific stream of data and I get so much of it that no one has the insights I have. It could be integration. I plug into so many things that at some point, there’s a tipping point where I plugged into so many things that everybody gets their whole solution in my tool or my place.

 

Also, it could be salesforce, which is, we’d go so deep into our channel that no one could replicate that channel, so we have complete product or service all the way to doorstep type of access.  It could IP around knowledge. You build so many insights in to a particular space that that community or those answers can only exist with you. You’ll be able to remote around relationships. 

 

The answer is, whatever aspect of the business that given enough time, and given enough connection with the customer that need no one else could make. Their test for that is, when you go to the marketplace, no one really even bothers to compete with you in a way. Your competitive set is actually quite low. This is something that Peter Thiel once taught me, which is, competition is for losers. Why build a company that competes to other companies when you could just build one of one company that creates its own marketplace?

 

I think that’s been my philosophy for at least this last company, Bionic, but that’s a hard thing to do. The reality is, companies take a long time to build. They take eight to ten years. If you’re not committed to that outcome, why are you building a company in the first place. The way you think and the way you execute drives so much of the value that you realized with your team and with your customers.

 

[00:17:49] MB: Something else you touched on a minute ago that is such a great insight. I don’t think I’ve heard it quite this way but I’ve heard it in different phrasing. But this notion that optionality is the enemy, and the more things you do, the weaker you become. Tell me more about that.

 

[00:18:03] DK: Well, I think you see this in both startups but also big companies. I think we now watch the end of all, the conglomerate as a successful model, which the whole idea was, is that the more things we do at scale, the greater our business is hedged, right? That’s true if you have a lot of resources, but startups don’t have a lot of resources. They’re trying to typically zero sum themselves into a marketplace.

 

This case is that, it’s so hard to get traction with even a customer in one single need. That if you don’t completely dominate it, you really can’t have a leveraged point to expand your business. If you have a weak toehold in the marketplace and you’re already reaching for the next one, maybe that toehold is, it can’t sustain both in strength or weight what you need to accomplish. You really have to go extremely deep into one need and dominate it before you start expanding from that. That’s one view of it.

 

The other view of it is that, if you took as SaaS business for example, which – For example, my other startups, last two or three, features an arms raised in features very often doesn’t lead to success. I mean, it can over a long period of time. But over a short period of time, say the first, three, four or five years, it’s really about just solving the one problem. So the question of, what is the one problem is one that an entrepreneur, a founder, a CEO has to get right. We have to test a lot of things to answer that question.

 

Other past investors, Albert Wenger and Fred Wilson once told me, it’s like, the job of a founder is really three things. It’s the vision in roadmap, right? You basically have to be correct in your vision within three years, but you have to be almost completely on time in the first four quarters that you’re in.

 

The second is just talent. It’s getting the right people and the right seats at the right time during the stages in those first three years. But knowing that you may have Mr. Right only for 18 months. So talent is certainly through 1 through 20 in the first 20 employees. If you get the wrong person in the wrong seat, it’s often fatal, right? Because it takes six to nine months to get them there, to discover the wrong person. They leave, you replace them and it’s a year and you’re out of money and/or you lose your customer. 

 

Talent is the second part of the job and the third is just never ran out of money. There’s only two ways to do that, you either earn it or you raise it. Ironically, very few companies despite perception actually raise venture capital. There’s only like couple of thousand a year, relative to the 2.4 million businesses trade every year. So, very few raise it, so you better be focused on how to organically grow your business in all instances.

 

Those three jobs are really incredibly hard to get right, because timing of the decision in what’s coming next is such a critical aspect of leading well and being a founder.

 

[00:20:42] MB: Such great advice. I love all three of those suggestions. That brings me to some of the lessons that you shared in New to Big, with this idea of creating a company that scales, that thinks entrepreneurly, but then scales up to be a larger business. Tell me about what was the inspiration behind writing that and what were some of the key lessons that you drew out of it?

 

[00:21:06] DK: Well, the idea behind the book and I’m sure you have listeners who are in corporate jobs as well who wants to start their own company and/or be an entrepreneur in a large organization, and they can’t for variety of reasons. They don’t want to leave their job or they can’t leave their job but they still have this capability.

 

I have written The Startup Playbook, and I have spoken about your conferences and I’ve been asked to come speak at large enterprises around how to think differently. We sort of pioneered the whole growth mindset movement, as well as the growth systems movement that has led to the transformation of companies like P&G, and General Mills and Citi and others. 

 

Fundamentally, it’s the recognition that big organizations are basically focused on planning and risk mitigation, So that big to bigger engine, that scale of operating at will is really at war with growth because growth lives in risk. If you try to de-risk and create risk at the same time, the purpose of those operations so to speak or the cultures are very different. What we focused on is really transforming, re-founding big companies. We do that with this model called the Growth Operating System, which is really the job of New to Big. It’s that zero to $100 million revenue. That first dollar to scale revenue job that large company struggle doing.

 

Our belief is that venture capital and entrepreneurship are forms of management. The reason why this is so important is that, there’s a huge distinction between planning and discovery. Planning is something that’s knowable. Growth lives in discovery. It’s in a job of managing the unknowable. If you go to the statistics of this, the deeper you go into, you realize that as you get good at this job of scaling growth as a capability, you realize that the statistics are really credible about where growth comes from. 

 

If you’re a big company or quite frankly an angel investor like myself, you have to make about 40 bets into a single need in the world to have success. If you look at the math, about 7% of all the capital you invest in an opportune area or portfolio produces 70% of all the money we make. If I make 100 bets or 50, 7 of those bets of 100 will be all of my unbanned returns.

 

When I go back to the beginning and I look at, why do we make those 7 out of 100 that made all the money? They have two qualities. One is, high conviction, meaning why you and why now. What’s they proprietary gift for the company and what’s the outside force? Then the second one is, is non-consensus decision-making. You make all of your money with the ideas with the highest disagreement rate. If you have consensus, you’re basically screwed. You have to be able to invest in large volume with high degree of failure in a way that serve contrarian non-consensus, so you can actually learn something.

 

It’s in that discomfort that learning discomfort, which is not planning that growth is discovered. That is the oppositive of the way a large organization works. We have learned, and built a model and coached it with some big companies of the world as they’ve ignited their growth revolutions from the top.

 

[00:24:03] MB: How can an investing entity or a decision maker simultaneously have high conviction and also have disagreement or lack of consensus.

 

[00:24:12] DK: Because the signals across the stages of venture, seed ABC are all very different types of signals, both on the quality of them, i.e. the efficacy. Is it strong or weak signal? It’s really less about building the business than it about discovering the need. In the early stages in the seed round or an A round, about 60% of the reason why you stay invested in an idea despite struggle is really the team. So the way you’re looking at the founders and saying they have a secret, they have a proprietary gift and they have discovered really big need. It’s emerging, it doesn’t exist yet.

 

In those stages, you’re creating metrics that are really signals. What is the problem solution model we’re looking for that creates repeatability and focus that we can draw an insight into why we keep investing in it? Almost always, it very rarely has to do with economics. There might be an economic element to it, but ends up sort of in the metrics cocktail. I like to call it the God metric. Very rarely is financial.

 

At the beginning stages, we’re looking for the signal that comes from solving a new need. It can be a basket of them quite frankly. Across the stage of seed going to A round, once you discover that pragmark to fit, which is usually the A round, you can repeat that metric and we want to keep focus to the company. We don’t want to go global quickly, we don’t want to go national quickly. We want to focus just on a customer, in a geography or vertical that we can repeat right quickly to get focus.

 

Once we come out of that round, A round to B round, we can get that God metric and then start to expand it. Each one of these stages are discovering commercial truth, but each stage is a different commercial truth in the ability to take something once. Do it many times and then do it very widely. That really creates the funding stage gaining that you’re familiar with, seed ABC that lead to a company by the C going to D round that we think could scale. We should pretty much know the answer to how big this can be at those points and what you have over unreasonable period of time, call it four to five years.

 

[00:26:17] MB: Got it. Yeah, that makes sense from the perspective of looking at kind of the key challenge at each of the different growth phases. But I’m curious more around as an investing decision maker without maybe abstracting this a little bit from just the context of startups. Explain to me the distinction, because when you say making a high conviction decision, but your investment committee or whoever also doesn’t have consensus about, how do you balance those two factors?

 

[00:26:46] DK: Again, with growth funds in particular, the structure of the board is designed to make non-consensus, high convictions. Enterprise are getting better at this. But like for example, if you look in deeply at the investment team at let’s say Andreessen Horowitz, right? And they’re public about this. When they find an idea that they all love, they try to talk themselves out of it. Think about that for a second. If they all belief it’s a good idea, they realize, wait, hold on, everybody else knows this. There is not enough dissention, so therefore, most can be a bias decision. Bias becomes normalcy. That means that other people have the same insight.

 

I think that the culture and the decision architecture you put at that board level, the investment committee level really determines how effective you are in discovery. In fact, there are tools that a lot of funds use to allow for almost like pre-mortems before they create investing. Where they’ll make blind or unbiased decision making early in the process and then revisit it before they make an investment decision to see if they’d become normalizes in their biases. Or they maintain the sort of non-consensus aspects that allow them to get to that truth.

 

At a large organization, it’s harder candidly, but they are very smart. They’re equally as capable as anybody else in the marketplace of investing. It just takes them a while to adjust from a planning model to a discovery model. A cause of this, which is, I think when you get a lot of mindset, things are right.

 

I’ll give you an example of one. This idea of shifting from TAM to TAP, from a total addressable marketplace in the world to total addressable problem or need, you kind of move from a linear to portfolio model. We know the need even if the marketplace didn’t exist, because we framed it in such a way that the volume of bets we’re making in that space is going to be higher because we’re discovering. As oppose to, okay, we’re going to build a specific company going after a specific market where we know there’s a specific budget and a specific buyer. Very different sort of models of investing. Where one consensus is probably to your benefit because experiences will accrue to advantage.

 

Conversely, when you’re growing for growth, that same experience is your liability because future biases is to seek things that you already know and we know that growth doesn’t lives there. That’s a long-winded way to describe this and it’s a fairly — it’s probably a more sophisticated answer than needed, but it’s a very complex decision architecture question that you have to get it right.

 

[00:29:14] MB: Yeah. I think no, that was a great extrapolation of that. If I can sort of summarize it in some way. Basically, what you’re saying is, you want to avoid essentially group think where everyone agrees the same way. You want to create some sort of dissention in the thought process. You want to beat the ideas of red team, the post-mortem, pre-mortem, however you want to look at it and use that methodology to ensure or try to ensure that you’re thinking about the possible failure points of the opportunity before you jump in.

 

[00:29:40] DK: Yeah, you’re taking an opposite signal, which is, you know when there is friction, there’s opportunity, right? Because there’s net new learning. Yes, you have to validate it, the efficacy of the learnings is very high, but you need to go in and lean into that discomfort.

 

I know that you’re in the Science of Success, which you focus on. I’ll give you another example of this, which is, how many bets do you have to make in a portfolio to get those returns? You need typically 20 to 40 in like a major need in the world when you’re going for growth. Knowing that you’ll probably have a 60% failure rate across all the stages of your investing. Seed to C or beyond.

 

The second factor — volume being the first, the second is time, right? Where does your due diligence come from? We’ve talked about lenses, we’ve talked about mindset, but there is a function of, have we invested the energy in determining if this is a good idea and how. If you look at fund returns, if you go down, you can kind of get your money back. If I have let’s say, I have a million dollars or ten million or hundred million, it doesn’t really matter and I make 20 bets into a venture fund or a growth fund. I’ll typically just on that volume alone get about 1.5% on my money, which is not really a great return for the time and energy.

 

But if I look at the other factor of diligence, if I spend less than 20 hours per deal, I’ll go from 1.5 to 1.92. Not a significant lift more. If I spend less than 40 hours, so double, the return will go for about 1.9 to probably 3 to 3.5. We have a bunch of data on this, a bunch of machine learning data. The last thing is, is that you spent greater than 40 hours and the diligence is shared from a network. Meaning, you have multiple lenses and filters. The fund returns go to over 9X. The reason why is because you’re getting dissention, you’re getting non-consensus, you’re getting deep expertise to take harder looks at things that filter out the signals from false positives and false negatives. That’s where the fund returns really left.

 

If you can replicate some of that systematic thinking and modeling in time, energy, money, and network and how you deploy capital into growth as an investor, quite frankly as a founder, you’re really going to radically increase the odds that you’ll get it right. That really is about how much openness do you have to disagreement and you have to be comfortable with it to get to the right decisions.

 

[00:31:56] MB: Yeah. That’s a great way to characterize that you have to be open to disagreement. That’s a really — a cornerstone of any successful decision-making process.

 

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[00:34:12] MB: Tell me a little bit about how both at the startup phase and even at larger companies how you can discover these big unmet customer needs versus wasting your time going down dead ends and rabbit holes.

 

[00:34:28] DK: Well, I mean, these are simple things but they’re really profound. The truth is, which is you never invest in an entrepreneur who loves their idea. You only invest on entrepreneurs who are obsessed with the need or the problem in the world. Because you need every option. Everything’s been in the table always to solve it. Whether you’re trying to get your technology work if it doesn’t need technology or it needs to be a service company. Whatever the answer is the answer. That’s the first thing.

 

The second is, you organize yourself, your relationship with your investors and your teams or culture to always drive to the truth. How do you create an environment where you know you’re betting your life on commercial truth? Obviously, the lean movement, we call it validate. But that scale to experiment in task to get the answer, run down dark alleys to get to the light as my friend, Dick Costolo says is that, you have to always be pursuing the light. Again, wishful thinking is the enemy. The more you don’t have that truth, the more idea, the more you chase white space. It’s just radically increases the probability of failure.

 

Getting those things right in yourself, in your investor, in your relationship with them is really just about getting the truth. Are you a person in an organization that can do that? That’s a very difficult job, because it weighs on you very heavily for a larger portion of your day than you really wanted to actually. You want to be — got to be spending more time in the fun stuff and less time in the hard stuff. Reality is, that you spend most of your time in the hard stuff for a very long time until you earn the right not to.

 

[00:35:54] MB: I love that phrase, wishful thinking is the enemy. It’s such a simply way to encapsulate a really, really poor idea. 

 

[00:36:00] DK: The guy who said that is in The Story Playbook and it was Elon. We were doing an interview — one of Elon’s very close, lifelong friend, who’s a very good friend of mine who ran the Creative Founder Institute, named Adeo Ressi. Adeo, he introduced me to Elon like 10, 12 years ago.

 

In the interview and company conversations, that was the one thing that stuck out of me was, is that when you’re crossing your fingers, you’re in deep, deep travel. That is literally the enemy. Only you can answer that question. But if you don’t, the truth is coming anyways, so why delay it.

 

[00:36:35] MB: Yes, such a good insight. I want to change gears a little bit. Tell me about how you can create at your company a permanent growth capability and what does that mean?

 

[00:36:46] DK: Well, in a large enterprise — well, in a small enterprise, you should be completely — your whole organization is about growing. You’re growing or you’re dying, so it’s much more a cue. You fell that urgency in how you’re leading it because everyone’s really focused on that.

 

In larger organization, it’s harder because you’re insulated from the customer, you’re insulated from the day-to-day net impact of your decisions because you’re not really in a live-die, live-die modality versus a startup, which you only are in a live-die modality. The urgency is crashing sometimes. But the answer to an enterprise is you got to change the way you work. That’s really the how.

 

Big organizations typically don’t have an ideas, money or talent problem. It’s just the machine that they’re in, that big to bigger, lean manufacturing, six-sigma matrix is literally at war with growth. You got to build the machine. What we do is we’ve created something called the Growth Operating System and it has five components. We set growth boards that our senior executive leadership, as in the C-Suite sit on and they become growth investors. They learn how to do high conviction, non-consensus investing in portfolios that are not markets for problems and needs, add volume.

 

They’re not making five big bets a year that McKenzie told them to write. They’re doing 30 or 40 that they created, where they invested in it, or incubated it, or bought it and they’re scaling it up across the stages of venture as a form of stage gate financing. There is decision science and there’s metrics across those stages that they learn, because they’re smart.

 

Then they build special forces for growth that learn how to do this, and they build career paths for people who could validation and startups, and they learn discovery, which is creating the portfolios themselves. Then they learn how to build things, they learn how to do the A through C rounds, and eventually, they’re scale up or acquire or kill.

 

Lasty, the fifth element of this, it’s just the operations. They learn how to operate growth, and they change incentives because you always get what you paid for. They change speed, and legal and requirements that usually slow the machine down and they create speed.

 

Those elements, growth board, discover, validate, build and growth ops are the components of we call an operating system for growth or the growth of us. It’s really, it’s a very powerful offering that allows that CEO whether P&G or Nike or smaller to manage growth in the same way they manage efficiency, right? They can now operate and create organization with the same skill. That is really — that’s what ambidextrous leadership is, is you got to be able to operate and create going forward. This is the bar for all leaders going forward. You can’t just do one. That error is over of stock buybacks and efficiency. The world has been disrupted. The needs have changed and the world needs growth leaders. 

 

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[00:41:20] MB: It’s interesting this theme that has really transcended a number of different topics that we’ve talked about today has been this idea of — correct me if I’m characterizing it wrong, but this notion of almost portfolio thinking as oppose to really focused bets and something. It’s more about, when you’re dealing with change, when you’re dealing with the frontiers of innovation, you need to have a lot of smaller bets distributed across the field as oppose to two or three really big deep bets. Is that a correct understanding of kind of on of the themes?

 

[00:41:51] DK: It’s absolutely true, but it’s only a part of a model. There’ve been some great books. My friend Peter Sims, wrote one called Little Bets which was great and I think, someone is coming out with a book, it’s basically a carbon copy of that. I don’t remember who, but it’s coming out in the next couple of months.

 

There are things like that that are just part of the model. It’s part of the element, but you’re absolutely right. What you’re trying to — honestly is permission. Permission is the reason why — is what portfolios drive. It’s optionality, but not in the sense of a company, but for our company to see the truth. If you only have five silver bullets into a trillion dollar need in the world, how are you ever going to see the answer to what’s working. Whether it be a technology, or model, or service or product. But more importantly, about why you, what’s your proprietary gift as a large organization in solving and winning it?

 

If you can’t answer that question, why us and why now? You’ll never going to actually capture or scale the growth if something is going to happen to you. You make the investment and watch it happen, but if you want to own it, the question of why you and why now is central for that. Really, a portfolio is kind of the only way to answer that question. It’s such a complex discovery question. It’s not something you study and have the answer for. It’s something that has to be done, observed, and learned. That’s a different continuum of leadership than reading a white paper and making a decision.

 

[00:43:11] MB: It’s essentially, you create a basket of experiments to really figure out where the market is going, where the customer needs are going, which solutions are addressing those needs. Then as you see those things developing in real time, you start to double down and focus in on the things that are actually working.

 

[00:43:27] DK: One other element of this permission point is what you’re saying is, read Hoffman, the founder of LinkedIn. It’s just a beautiful human being on so many levels. I am always amazed by him and incredibly grateful friend. But he wrote the forward of my book, The Startup Playbook. I remember he tell me once, he’s like — I asked him, “To what degree is of every dollar you have in the bank is good timing and good fortune?” And he was like, “80%.”

 

What we’re saying is, it’s like, listen, as good as everyone is, right, and as smart as — and all the smart money and smart entrepreneurs, people widely underestimate the role of outside forces of market timing. The reason why very often big companies fails, because they think they’re in control. Their balance sheet, their budget, their brand, then they prematurely scale a technology in search for a problem or whatever it is. Then it doesn’t emerge for another two or three years, and they stop doing it. So they’re not even there when it happens.

 

An entrepreneur who can hedgehog their way to be not dead when it happens is there to win the space. Being there when it happens and recognizing that your growth is going to happen because of outside forces as much as it is about your own plan’s execution is a much more acute understanding of how success in new things actual occurs. I think that is an entirely new mindset that large leaders are now understanding, which is like, “Oh my God, we’re not just crossing our fingers and getting lucky, we’re positioning capital into a new part of the world so that we know when it’s arrived because we don’t control it.” 

 

These are really quite profound insights in leadership and quite profound insights even for an entrepreneur who’s just hoping that their success comes. Going back to lens again, you start looking through this lens and start understanding how these factors work. It really fundamentally changes the job you do. I’m going to go back at the beginning around the three jobs of entrepreneurship, which is, you have to have vision and you got to be right on time. Two is, you got to hire the perfect people 1 through 20 without a mistake and you get two or three, 20 through 50 and maybe four or five on 50 to 100. You exceed that number, you’re dead. 

 

Three is, you can’t run out of money, so whether you can earn it or raise it. That job with these factors, these lenses become not a job execution, it becomes of the criteria of how you — and how you lead. Those are the big ah-has for me over the last decade of learning how to do the job as a founder. 

 

[00:45:45] MB: Such good insights and David, I’m curious. For somebody who wants to take some kind of action to start concretely implementing some of the things we’ve talked about today, what would one action step be for them to begin to implement some of these notions into their lives?

 

[00:46:02] DK: Well, two ideas. One is, I wrote The Purpose of Bionic seven years ago. It was the statement basically to ignite growth revolutions and I used to think that was really like about money or success, whatever it is. But in reality, it’s the interior life of the leader. Ultimately, you are the permission, you are ceiling inside of you that you will allow yourself or your company to take risk or not, or discover your becoming because you have a bias of what it has to be.

 

You have to really become friends with your mind to change that, those biases in or those permissions, and 90% of our life has lived in the subconscious. So if you can’t get underneath all the why and your intentional choices, there’s a lot of ways to sabotage otherwise successful possibilities.

 

The other aspect of this is that I think there’s this race to achieve in building things, so particularly companies obviously. But this, “When I get this, I’ll be happier” or “When I get this, I’ll have success” or “I will be successful when this thing happened.” They’re kind of like peak moments or mountain tops and in reality, when you get there, one is, you realize that there’s nothing there at the top. Secondly is that, it’s just not satisfying. I philosophically and I think I talk about this a lot in my own company is, is just fall in love with who you’re becoming. This is a grind and it’s a journey. It’s one of the hardest journeys to do this as an entrepreneur as oppose to a larger organization, but not better words. But the odds are is that you’re not going to be successful. So you have to be at peace with that reality, because it’s really not about the company. It’s just a company. It’s really about your own growth in that journey that hopefully leads to a better, more extraordinary life and a more extraordinary you so you could have a more extraordinary impact on others.

 

When you get that wrong, eventually, people will figure it out. They’ll figure out your selfishness, they’ll figure out your fakery and it will come falling apart anyways. I would just spend a lot of time in your intention and knowing you’re doing it for the right reasons.

 

[00:47:55] MB: Great insight and really, really good look at what the journey is really all about. David, for people who want to find you and all of your work online, what’s is the best place for them to do that?

 

[00:48:06] DK: I do a lot of keynote speaking for large organizations in honor of my books. You can go to davidskidder.com. If you’re a large enterprise and you want to learn more about bionic, you can go to onbionic.com or you can reach me at david@onbionic.com. Also, go check out the books. There’s newtobig.com. You can get on Amazon The Startup Playbook. All of those things are, they’re just tools and they’re just insights and there’s no answers. It’s more about just sharing my own personal journey with others. Hopefully, those are of good enough quality that you find them, and keep them and hang onto them because others have but I return to them all the time as well. They just inevitably illuminate some part of something I missed the first time, or the second, or the third time.

 

Again, it’s who you becoming. I just want to thank you, Matt. You’re a great interviewer and you’re very generous, so thank you for this time together.

 

[00:48:58] MB: Well, David, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing all this wisdom.

 

[00:49:01] DK: Hard earned, nothing’s perfect, so thank you.

 

[00:49:04] MB: All right, cool. That is a wrap.

 

[00:49:06] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

 

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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.


October 08, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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The Secret Skill Of Cultivating Happiness with Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar

October 01, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this episode, we have one of our all-time favorite guests back on the show, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar. We dig into how to cultivate more happiness in your life, the habits of the world's happiest people, how we can continue to cultivate relationships during COVID, and more!

Tal Ben-Shahar, the founder of Happiness Studies Academy is an author and lecturer. He taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history. Today, Tal consults and lectures around the world to executives in multi-national corporations, the general public, and at-risk populations. The topics he lectures on include leadership, happiness, education, innovation, ethics, self-esteem, resilience, goal setting, and mindfulness. His books have been translated into more than twenty-five languages, and have appeared on best-sellers lists around the world.

  • How can we become happier in the toughest times of our lives?

  • Why happiness isn't a binary concept and what that means in our journey for happiness. 

  • What it means to "give yourself permission to be human". 

  • The role of social media in the fluctuating happiness we experience in our lives. 

  • What happens if we guard ourselves against our emotions and push forward?

  • How to cultivate meaningful relationships in tough times and virtually. 

  • How gratitude and helping others can benefit you in ways you may have never imagined. 

  • Is happiness relevant?

  • How do we attract more happiness to us and become a magnet for gratitude?

  • The daily routine for optimizing your happiness. 

  • The levels of suffering and what you need to embrace and what you need to ignore. 

  • The difference in finding the meaning in life vs. the meaning of life.

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You've got to check out this incredible online community Matt and I have become a part of. It's the ultimate knowledge hub from The Hustle, called Trends.

Trends allows you to interact with and learn from a community of industry leaders to be the first to know what emerging trends are coming next.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Tal’s Website and Wiki Page

  • Tal’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

  • Wholebeing Institute

  • Happier.TV

  • Happiness Studies Academy Next Course Starts on October 5th. 

        - Use the code HAPPY for 10% off!

Media

  • Miami Herald - “It’s about time: The ultimate hack to finding yourself at ‘happily ever after’” by Elizabeth Saury

  • Article Directory on Thrive Global, Big Think, and Optimize

  • Psychology Today - “Extraordinary Leadership for Extraordinary Times” by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar

  • The Times of Israel - “Six strategies to stay sane, even thrive, amid COVID-19 and social distancing” by Simona Weinglass

  • From the Grapevine - “The life-changing lessons a Harvard psychologist learned from his barber” by Benyamin Cohen

  • Jewish Week - “A Happiness Guru’s Tips for Stay-at-Home Sanity” By Andrew Silow-Carroll

  • Economic Times - “40 per cent pursuit of happiness lies in a person's choices: Harvard professor Dr Tal Ben-Shahar” By Shannon Tellis

  • [Podcast] BBVA Podcast: What makes the world’s happiest people different?, Tal Ben-Shahar

  • [Podcast] Inner Truth with David Newell - Tal Ben-Shahar: How To Solve The Happiness Equation  

  • [Podcast] Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - EP131: EXPERTS ON EXPERT: Tal Ben-Shahar

Videos

  • Unpacked - Tal Ben-Shahar's Tips for Happiness and Good Mental Health

  • Tania Kazi - 'The Science Of Happiness' with Positive Psychology professor Tal Ben Shahar

  • OPTIMIZE with Brian Johnson - Tal Ben-Shahar Joins Optimize Coach

  • Nick Viall - Viall Files Episode 156: The Science of Happiness With Tal Ben-Shahar

  • Momentum Unlimited - 4 Ways To Make Yourself Psychologically Stronger with Tal Ben-Shahar

  • Freedom Pact - Dr Tal Ben Shahar | The Creator Of The Most Popular Course At Harvard On How To Become Happier

  • Leaders in Action Society - Meet Tal Ben-Shahar | An inspirational teacher that is all about happiness | Leaders in Action

  • Israeli-American Council IAC - Resilience in the Time of Corona with Tal Ben Shahar

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • The Joy of Leadership: How Positive Psychology Can Maximize Your Impact (and Make You Happier) in a Challenging World  (2017) by Tal Ben-Shahar and Angus Ridgway

  • Short Cuts to Happiness: Life-Changing Lessons from My Barber  (2018) by Tal Ben-Shahar

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:19] AF: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of The Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners just like you in over 100 countries. I’m your co-host, Austin Fable, and today we have an absolutely incredible guest who’s been on the show in the past. You know him, you love him, Tal Ben Shahar. 

This week we focus on the topic of happiness and how you can train yourself to live an overall happier life. We dig into the science behind some of the habits and routines that have been proven to improve your overall mood, satisfaction, and help you deal with tough emotions by allowing yourself to be human. 

But before we dig in, are you enjoying the show and the content we put out each week for you? If so, there are two incredibly easy, yet tremendously impactful things you can do for Matt and I. First, leave us a quick five-star review on your podcast listing platform of choice. It helps others like you find the show and learn from all of our incredible guests. Next, go to our homepage at www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list today. Our subscribers are the first to know about all the comings and goings of the show, which you also have access to exclusive content you won't find anywhere else. Specifically, when you sign up, you'll get our three-course we spent a ton of time on appropriately named How to Make Time for What Matters Most in Your Life. 

Are you on the go? Maybe working out on a walk outside? Good for you. Sign for our email list easily just by texting the word SMARTER. That's SMARTER to the number 44222 and you’ll be signed up today. If you haven't already, check out last week's from the archives episode with Chris Voss. We dig in to how you can learn to negotiate like a pro and share with you three words you can use in any conversation to pull more information and context out of anyone in any conversation. 

Now, back to this week. On this episode, we interview an incredible guest, Tal Ben Shahar. Tal Ben Shahar is the founder of Happiness Studies Academy. He’s an author and a lecturer. He taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University's history, and today Tal consults and lectures around the world to executives and multinational corporations, the general public, and at risk populations. The topics he lectured on include leadership, happiness, education, innovation, ethics, self-esteem, resilience, goal setting and mindfulness. His books have been translated into more than 25 languages and have appeared on the bestseller lists around the world. 

Now, without further ado, here is our interview with tile Tal. 

[00:02:54] AF: Tal, welcome back to The Science of Success. 

[00:02:56] TBS: Thank you, Austin. Great to be back. 

[00:02:59] AF: So tell us, what have you been up to since you last came on the show? I mean, it was 2016 the last time we had you on, which seems like a lifetime time ago. I can only imagine that your work has become even more popular and sought after, and really more impactful and relevant given the times we’re in in the coronavirus. Is that fair?

[00:03:17] TBS: Yeah. A lot has happened over the last four years, and especially the last four months. Strange times we live in. And many people have been saying to me ever since the COVID, they’ve have said, “Tal, is happiness even relevant today?” One of my friends went as far as saying, “Shouldn't we quarantine happiness until this is all over?” And my answer to that is no, we shouldn't. I think it's more important than ever, because happiness is not just – Or the field of happiness, that it’s not just about helping us in good times. It's also about helping us better deal with the difficulties and hardships. In other words, it's about strengthening our immune system. 

[00:03:58] AF: That’s a really great analogy, especially in the times we find ourselves in. So let me ask you, how do we become happier? How do we find happiness? And does it change when we’re experiencing times like we are now when everyone is stuck in their houses? I know from our last interview, one of the big, big ways to find happiness is through community and especially having deep, meaningful relationships. How do we become happier when we’re being told to quarantine? We’re not really able to go out and be in big groups like we once were. 

[00:04:29] TBS: Yeah. I think one of the most important elements with the first steps would be about managing our expectations. So if my expectation is to be happy all the time or to feel joyful and experience positive high, then I'm setting myself up for failure, for frustration, and for unhappiness. So we need realistic expectations. And that means realizing that there will be ups and downs. Realizing that during difficult times, things are difficult. That we’ll experience in all likelihood more anxiety, and more frustration, and more painful emotions during times when we don't have the opportunity to interact with our friends as we did before when there is more, or there is less certainty in terms of what the future brings, whether it’s health-wise or in terms of the economy. So things are difficult, and the first step is really embracing, accepting the fact that it's difficult. The next step is then doing something about it. But the next step can only come after we embrace, accept. 

[00:05:35] AF: That's interesting too. That kind of ties into how we deal with difficult emotions, right? So it's not about fighting the emotion. It's really about embracing it, which is really you kind of bring that emotion in and you embrace it and then you do something about it. But I was curious, after listing to our last interview too, what does that look like exactly? How do we do something about it? Weather it’d embracing a difficult emotion or finding happiness in these times.

[00:06:01] TBS: So just two things. The first thing is to understand there are two levels of suffering. Two levels of pain. The first level is the one that's natural. We all experience difficult moments of difficult days, and as a result of doing something, or not doing something, or seeing something, experiencing, this is natural, we all go through it. This is the first level. The next level is the level that comes when we reject the first level. 

So let me give you a personal example. Let's say I would say to myself, “Okay, Tal. You shouldn't be anxious during COVID-19, because you're an expert unhappiness. You should be able to deal with it better.” Well, immediately, when I say that's, I increase my levels of suffering. That is the second level. In contrast, if I accept and embrace and say, “Okay, it's part of being human, this pain.” Then I experienced the first level, but I don't build on that I don't create a second level. 

Now how do I accept, embrace the first level? There are a few ways. One is to shed a tear. Crying has been instilled in us, whether through evolution or through our creator in order to help us deal with difficult experiences. So shedding a tear can be helpful. Talking about what we’re going through. That’s one way of what I've come to call the permission to be human. Talking to our best friend about it, or to a therapist, or to a coach, or to our partner, opening up. That’s the second way. The third way, which is very accessible, is writing about it. There's a lot of research coming out at various universities around the world today showing the powerful impact of journaling. So when we journal, when we write down things that hurt us, that we’re struggling with, that in and of itself is first of all acknowledging and embracing what we’re going through. And what it does is it helps us to overcome it. Specific, I’ll just share one study. This was done by Jamie Pennebaker at University of Texas where he got people to write a journal for 20 minutes on four consecutive days about their most traumatic or difficult experiences. So a total of 80 minutes over four days. They could write about the same thing every day or they could write about four different experiences. 

As a result of that journaling exercise, initially, anxiety levels went up. However, within a week, it went back down and went down beyond its original state and lasted even a year later when they measured their levels of anxiety. So airing what we’re going through. Accepting it, whether it's by writing, by talking, or by crying. That's an important way of dealing with hardships.

[00:08:44] AF: It’s a really interesting point thereto how the anxiety initially spiked. It's kind of like your nervous system's initial reaction to writing all this down or talking about it is to fight it. Is to get more anxious and to build a bigger wall. But then, through time and kind of exercising that muscle, you get past that and there's kind of a release that then frees you from this anxiety. 

[00:09:05] TBS: Exactly that. And Jamie Pennebaker, when he first did this study, he wrote about it and said that he was really concerned initially when he saw that spike in anxiety. He wanted to do good. Not to hurt people. However, there is no way around it. We need to go through it in order to overcome it.

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[00:10:55] AF: I'm curious too, just how does one begin this journey? Because, personally, for me, I have a real bad habit of letting things build up, which I guess is me not facing these difficult emotions. If I'm sad about something, if I'm anxious about something, it doesn't affect me at all and no one around me can even tell. No one is coming up to me saying, “Hey, you look sad.” Or, “Hey, you look anxious.” But then after a few months or a few weeks depending on what it is I'm dealing with at that moment, I'll just break down and I’ll cry. Or for example, I was really stressed out about a bunch of things a couple months ago and I was trying not to let it affect me. And then I was working out and all of a sudden had a panic attack and I'm on the floor breathing, right? 

If I want to start accepting these things as they come and having sort of many releases and many acceptance experiences as supposed to letting them build to where it’s something that isn't super detrimental, but it's like a balloon bursting because it’s too filled with water. How do I begin to release the pressure over time and kind of start implementing that?

[00:11:57] TBS: Yeah. So one thing to keep in mind is that it's okay even if we don't release it constantly. So one of the benefits of a panic attack is the body's the mind’s, the heart’s way of saying, “Okay, enough. I'm going to take over for a while, and let's release it.” And that’s a good thing. That means that something is working well now that something is not working well. Having said that, it is possible to institute certain rituals and habits that will help us to release that stress sort of like a valve that you constantly release a little bit of the pressure and that will contribute to our happiness and well-being. 

So what are these things? For example, once a week, or once every other week, just set aside 30 minutes to write a journal. And during that time, write about anything that comes to mind. And very often, that will be an opportunity for a release. Something else, people who have someone to talk to, and they regularly take a timeout or time-in with their partner, or with a friend, or with a therapist and just talk, and just let it out. 

The nice thing about just talking or just writing is that we don't know what we’ll come out. We free associate as Freud urged us to do. And by doing that, each time we’re releasing, thus preventing the ultimate explosion. But even if we do get to the explosion, it's not necessarily a bad thing, usually.

[00:13:20] AF: Yeah. And it's never been too aggressive, I guess. I mean, when I say panic attack, that might even be an overstatement. It was just kind of like a quick heartbeat and it was something that kind of scared me a little. But I do think it's nice and like I think society is told especially man that crying and kind of doing a lot of these things isn't really acceptable or it's not manly enough. But at the same time, it's one of the healthiest things. And I want to explore that too, because I think I say that, I guess, the crying example I think is a little more – It's not masculine to cry. But I do think this idea of accepting that you are human has really become a lot harder for both genders and everyone in kind of the new age of social media where we’re always sharing with each other. We’re sharing our best selves. And I think for everyone, it's getting a lot more difficult to admit your faults. It’s getting a lot more difficult to cry, to talk about struggling, because all we see every day is perfection, which is just a snapshot in time from people's real lives. 

[00:14:19] TBS: Yeah, you’re absolutely right. I mean, what people share on social media – And again, they share it because they want others to see it, but they also share it because this is what they want to remember, is when things went well. So you go on social media and you see everyone is having an amazing time. Everyone is in an incredible relationship. Everyone is on this breathtaking vacation. Everyone loves what they do, love their life, everyone except for me. 

And then of course what happens is that I feel down and depressed. However, I don't want to be the only one to not to be doing well. And I also contribute a snapshot of my life that seems perfect. So what I'm doing is I'm contributing to the great deception that is responsible for the great depression. And the question is what do we do about it? 

So what we need is to find an outlet's, an outlet to be around people who care about us, people we care about, where we can be and they can be authentic. Yes, we will feel better when we hear or see that other people are struggling to, and we won't feel better because of schadenfreude because we find pleasure in other people's misery. No. It's because we feel normal when we see other people struggling as we do. We don't feel like we’re a negative exception to the rule.

So sharing with others, having these islands of sanity, this is exactly what those authentic interactions are. Islands of sanity in our life is so very important. And as you say, especially today when social media depicts a distorted view of society. 

[00:16:02] AF: I think it's so important to find those people to speak with. It's interesting. I’ve always had a group of friends that I feel comfortable kind of opening up around. But I think there's also something to be said for being the person that someone else is opening up to. There's a certain happiness factor that comes with knowing that another human being is willing to be themselves around you and to bear their hardships with you. What role does making other people happy or being that person that someone can talk to play in our own happiness?

[00:16:35] TBS: Yeah. This falls under a much broader and very important category of generosity, or giving, or kindness. One of the most powerful ways of increasing our own happiness is contributing to others’ happiness. In fact, over the past few years, there's been an increase in research on giving, on generosity. For example, we know that beyond basic needs, money doesn't really contribute to happiness. Yes, of course, money is important if we are to have enough food and shelter and other basic needs. However, beyond that, money doesn't really contribute to happiness unless we use it wisely. 

And one of the ways of using it wisely is actually helping other people. So giving contributes to happiness, but it's not just money. It's not just material giving. It's also giving of your time or lending an ear. Anne Frank back the 1940s wrote, “You can always, always give something even if it is only kindness.” And giving kindness, of course, contributes to the other's well-being as well as to our own. In other words, it's a win-win. And it’s a win-win-win in fact, because when other people observe kindness, they are more likely to be kind themselves. In other words, it's contagious. 

[00:17:57] AF: Yeah. It’s such a powerful tool. It's no secret when you're kind of somebody when you show generosity, when you show gratitude. You really feel better than you did before. But it's kind of like to use another analogy, it's almost contagious, right? It's like it spreads like. One act of kindness can then birth hundreds.

[00:18:15] TBS: Exactly. And over the past few years, I've been putting a lot of work into the relationship between happiness and morality, because, very often, people, when they hear that there is a field of happiness studies or positive psychology, they would say, “Yeah, this is just the luxury for those who can afford it.” Or they would go even further and say, “Yeah, but what's more important is morality. Being a good person, rather than being a happy person.” And this distinction is unhelpful, unhealthy. Why? Because we have a lot of research showing that if you increase levels of well-being, of happiness, you actually become more moral. Meaning, happy people are more likely to help others. If you increase happiness levels by 3%, 4%, you automatically increase generosity and kindness in that person. And it works both ways as I mentioned earlier, because if you act kindly, you increase happiness. 

So potentially, you can create an upward spiral between being good and being happy, because every time you contribute to other people, you contribute your happiness. When you contribute to your happiness, you're more likely to contribute to other people. So there are two sides of the same coin; happiness and morality, the ethical and the practical.

[00:19:43] AF: This episode of the Science of Success is brought to you by our partners at BetterHelp. That’s BetterHelp. You’ll get 10% off your first month by going to BetterHelp. Once again, that's betterhelp.com/sos today for 10% off your first month. Let me ask you, what interferes with your happiness? Is there something preventing you from achieving your goals? I know there have been plenty, plenty of times. Getting too far into my own head has kind of gotten in my way, limiting beliefs, thoughts of doubt. It can all build up inside you and become paralyzing or cause counterproductive behaviors to form. 

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[00:21:33] AF: Yeah, I love that correlation. I also think it’s important to note too that, as you said, I completely reject the idea that happiness and morality is something for those that can afford it. I mean, if you interact with human beings, whether it’d be virtually or in-person these days, you always have the tools to make someone happier, to express gratitude and to do something for someone else that's going to boost their happiness, and then thus their morality, which if we all behaved that way, we’d be living in a much different society.

[00:22:03] TBS: Oh, big time. One of the stories that really had an impact on me came for my mom. She was in the supermarket, and this supermarket was packed, which she was standing and getting something from one of the counters. And she saw a young woman in her 20s talking to one of the employees in the supermarket and asking questions and visibly making feel good about himself. And then she did the same thing when she saw my mom. She smiled at her and asked, “How are you?” And then standing at the teller, my mom was just behind her. She was just making other people feel good. And my mom said, “I met for 15 minutes. In those 15 minutes, she contributed to so many people's lives who then because of the upward spiral and the win-win nature of kindness will then go do more kind things for others. Who will then hopefully affect others and so on and so on, the butterfly effect. 

And impact of those 15 minutes were remarkable. And ever since I heard the story, and again coupled with all the research in kindness, I've introduced an exercise, which I encourage my students, my kids, myself to do, is take 15 minutes a day where you’re extra kind to other people. 15 minutes. You're always kind, great. But 15 minutes to be extra kind, and listen more intently, or give something to others, or spend a little bit more time, or ask a question, or provide help in some way for 15 minutes. And those 15 minutes, imagine if we all did it, or more of us did it. What an impact that could have on society as a whole?

[00:23:39] AF: Yeah, that's incredible. And it's one of those things too. I recently have been experimenting with something similar to that. But when you really start to pay attention to how kind you want to be, and you can even go over the top. I mean, obviously, we’re not trying to be sarcastic here. But it really makes youth think about what just a small couple of tweaks and how you interact with people, not only does it make the other person feel good, but also – I mean, you mentioned your mom. She noticed this person's behavior. It makes you more likable. People want to come and be around you more. So not only by being kind are you increasing the chances that those you’re kind to are going to be kind to others. But you also increase the chances that that person is going to want to spend more time with you and come back and learn more about you as well. 

[00:24:24] TBS: Yes. It's more likely to be reciprocated. And as a result, you're likely to be kinder and so on and so on. As you’re talking, Austin, I'm thinking about a general principle that we see across the field of happiness studies. And that is of the upward spiral. So for instance, there is this research showing that if you keep a gratitude journal, as Oprah urged us to do, even for 2, 3 minutes a day, that actually makes you happier, physically healthier, kinder, more successful. And many people have asked me, “How is it that in 2, 3 minute intervention of gratitude or whatever – Just suggest, the 15 minutes kindness. How can that make a real difference? We live 24/7. 

And the answer is because each one of these interventions, even the 2 or 3 minute intervention, potentially starts an upward spiral. For example, let's say I do my gratitudes in the morning when I wake up. And as a result of it, I'm feeling a little bit better. And as a result, I'm smiling a little bit more. Now, other people will smile at me if I smiled at them. So they smile at me. I feel even better. And I have a little bit more energy. So I will work better. And consequently, my mood will improve, and I'll have a better interaction with my partner later on during lunch, and on and on. And the thing is that it can often start – This upward spiral can often start with 2 minutes, or with 15 minutes of doing something which is good, good for you, and good for others. 

Unfortunately, the opposite can also be the case. There’s also research showing that if we expose ourselves to negative news in the morning, then that can lead to a downward spiral. So what we need to do is actively introduce short rituals throughout the day that potentially can lift us up. 

[00:26:15] AF: See, that's why I love your work so much. I mean, the idea of the upward spiral, it's so easy and it's something that everyone in the world should hear. And I want to get into that too here in a second, but I would be remiss if I didn't ask. Let’s dig into some of these rituals. What are some of the things that we can do to make sure we’re a part of this upward spiral and not the downward spiral?

[00:26:33] TBS: Yes. So one of them is, again, the gratitude journal. Another one, which this is more recent research, is keeping a journal about things that you're looking forward to. So for example, you wake up in the morning and then you write three things, and you look forward to meeting with a friend, or having lunch, or you’re looking forward to the end of the day. It actually doesn't matter. But three things you're looking forward to. And people who do that on a regular basis are actually not happier. However, they’re less pessimistic. They’re more resilient and less likely to experience sadness throughout the day. So, looking forward, journal. 

Another thinking, regular physical exercise, and not just exercise, simply moving. So this is a research that came out of the University of Cambridge, England, showing that people who move at least every 30 minutes or so are not just healthier. More and more doctors are talking about sitting is the new smoking, because it's that unhealthy. Although, they’re exaggerating, but only a little bit. So it's not just healthy to walk around for our physical well-being. It's also healthy for our mental well-being, psychological well-being. Getting up and taking a few steps every once in a while. 

And then, of course, exercising regularly at least three, four times a week. And by the way, during difficult periods like now, exercising even more than we did before, because anxiety levels are higher. Another thing that can help us enter an upward spiral, and it's a good thing in and of itself, is learning. Again, relatively new research came out showing that curiosity is associated with longevity. In other words, people who ask many questions who learn, who are curious about the world, actually live longer. So it doesn't just contribute to our psychological well-being. Once again, physical well-being is impacted. So, learning, constantly learning and do things. 

And then engaging, having either very long conversations or shorter conversations with other people and having them not while checking our messages at the same time or having something in the background. Real focus, one-on-one conversations. These contribute a great deal to our overall happiness. 

[00:28:54] AF: I can definitely attest to all those, and I'm one of those people where if I don't get at least 30 minutes – And like you said, it doesn't have to be like CrossFit, or long distance running, but even just moving around. It really gets the mind moving, and overall, the day is just better. And one of the things that I’ve been trying to experiment too with my wife is sitting down and just putting the phone away, turning the TV off and just having a conversation. I mean, it's shocking. If you consider the amount of time that you're interacting with someone but you're not fully interacting. And it can end up being like 99% of your life, because, yeah, you're talking and you're interacting, you're watching a TV show. You might – “Oh, hey. By the way, so-and-so did this today.” But it's almost weird too, because if you don't exercise that muscle when you're around someone and you have 100% of their attention, it can almost be intimidating. It can become strange when you actually notice someone is paying attention if you don't exercise that kind of muscle or that sort of conversation interaction. 

[00:29:53] TBS: There are so many benefits to what you just described now beyond the connection that you're making, beyond the fact that this is a place where you can give yourself the permission to be human. Beyond the fact that you are being kind, you're being generous, you’re being thoughtful. And that contributes to well-being. Beyond all that, there is also the element of mindfulness. When people talk about meditation, they usually mean sitting down cross-legged and focusing on the breath, or being in a yoga posture, or something like that. Well, meditation is present moment awareness. In other words, if you are with your partner or friend and you’re being present, that's a form of meditation with all the benefits there off, and there're so many benefits to meditation. 

So on every level, everyone wins when there is a real, intimate, focused interaction. 

[00:30:47] AF: Amen to that. 

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[00:32:43] AF: So I want to dig in. You’ve got a really, really incredible project. You’re working on Happiness Studies Academy. But before we do, there's one last thing I'd like to discuss before we jump into that. You’ve said something in the past, and I saw this on a YouTube video that you’re featured on, and I forget which one. But I’ll link it in the show notes. But you were going through these kind of four ways you can find happiness. And one of them that really struck me was find meaning in your everyday activities. And you went on to sort of describe the difference in the meaning in life versus the meaning of life. Can you elaborate a little bit on that? Because I think that subtlety is so missed when people start to look at themselves and their happiness and what life really is to them. 

[00:33:26] TBS: Yes. Good. So this is a very important distinction that was made by Viktor Frankel. He’s the author of the Man's Search for Meaning. Meaning of life is about finding the reason for being in a sense. Some people have it and they know they find it in their religion, or they find it in the place where they're working, or creating sustainability, or ending poverty, the meaning of life. But it's very difficult to find. And even people who do find it, it's not enough to sustain the day-to-day, or it usually is not enough to sustain the day-to-day work of living. And therefore, what we need is not just the meaning of life. We need the meaning in life. And the meaning in life is about identifying small activities, small interactions that are meaningful for us, and we can find it almost anywhere in our lives. 

So an investment banker can find it. A priest can find it. A teacher can find it. A person volunteering in a homeless shelter can find it, because whatever we do, potentially, we’re impacting, influencing other people, the world. And it's almost like we have an inherent meaning finding system that all we need to do is we need to switch it on. And by switching on, I mean, we need to be aware of it, conscious of it. It’s somewhat related to what you were mentioning earlier. Yeah, we can be with someone. We’re watching television at the same time and we’re not really on. We’re not switch on. Or we could be focused on that other person and be with them, the same with meaning. We can lead a life of meaning, sort of. Or we can put our focus into whatever it is that we’re doing and identify the meaningful elements. 

So very often, people in a workplace are asked to write their job description. And what I do with my clients is I ask them to write their calling description. Meaning, what is it about your work? Your day-to-day? Whether you're a banker, whether you’re a teacher, whether you're volunteering, or whether you're a parent. What is it about your day-to-day work that is meaningful to you? Where are you making a difference. What are you doing that is important? And by becoming aware of it, by highlighting it, you're actually finding more meaning in life. It’s very much related also to gratitude. Why do we do the gratitude exercise? It’s to shed a light, to highlight those areas that we can be grateful for that are worth celebrating and appreciating. And by doing that, we benefit. We benefit individually and we benefit as a society if more and more people do it. 

[00:36:06] AF: It's crazy to me. Just hearing you talk. I mean, really, a lot of this can be boiled down. And I don't want oversimplify. So pardon if I am, but it really comes down to just paying attention. A lot of times we don't pay attention to the meaning in what we’re doing. We don't pay attention to our partners or our friends, or our loved ones. And if we just kind of slowed down to really pay attention, a lot of that meaning, a lot of that gratitude, a lot of that connection would find us. 

[00:36:32] TBS: Yeah, it's so much the case. My mentor is Professor Ellen Langer, and Ellen Langer is one of the leading scholars in the world on mindfulness. And what she talks about is that not that traditional mindfulness, again, sitting down and meditating, even though she's obviously not against that. She's talking about mindfulness as, and I quote, “Drawing novel distinctions. Drawing novel distinctions.” 

And if we can go into an interaction with our partner, or we’ve been with for a long time even, and say, “Okay, how can I really be mindful of what they're saying now? Because it's different from anything they have said before, or at least in some ways. Maybe I can discern a different way that they look at me, or that I see them.” Then we’re drawing novel distinctions. Or walking along the same street that I've walked for the past 15 years, what novel distinctions can I draw? Can I identify? In other words, as you say, how can I pay attention to what's going on around me? Because as the saying goes, maybe the same step in the river, but it's never the same river. 

[00:37:40] AF: I love that. That is such a great saying. I've heard something similar about staring into a fire. But it's just so true. Tal, thank you so much for the time, and really for the work you've done. I mean, your entire career, I think it's worth it. Everyone needs to know and everyone needs to pay attention too and learn and study. And so in that vein, I know that you are launching a new class of the Happiness Studies Academy on October 5th. Tell us, what is Happiness Studies Academy? What got you start it? And what kind of tools and content can students expect? I mean, I think it's extremely important. Tell us what you’ve been working on.

[00:38:17] TBS: Yeah. Just a few years ago, actually, around the time when we spoke last, a question came to mind. And the question was how is it that there is a field of study for psychology, which is my field, and geography, and history, and biology, and economics, and you name it, and there is no field of study for happiness? Yes, there is positive psychology, but that's just the psychology of happiness. What about what philosophers like Lao-Tzu and Aristotle had to say about happiness? Or literary geniuses like Marion Evans and Shakespeare had to say about happiness, or theology, or neuroscience. Why isn't there a field, or rather an interdisciplinary field of study that brings together all that so many smart people throughout history had to say about the good life? 

And I resolved then a few years ago to help create a field of happiness studies. And towards that end, we created the Happiness Studies Academy, and right now we’re offering a certificate program, which is a year-long program that brings together what the greatest psychologists had to say, and philosophers, and theologians, and neuroscientists, and economists. And we bring it all together in order to answer two questions. The first question is, “How can I increase my levels of happiness?” The second question, “How can I help others increase their level of happiness?” And it’s relevant whether it's for parents, or coaches, or therapists, or businesspeople, or teachers. And it's relevant, because happiness is important for all these areas for all those fields. 

[00:39:56] AF: Yeah, I couldn't agree more. What comes to mind for me is this would be an incredibly powerful tool for teachers, people especially that are dealing with students. Well, nowadays, given what’s going on in the world. Obviously it's more needed than ever. But I feel like the curriculum that you all run through really should be something taught in schools. But if not in schools as curriculum, almost a prerequisite for those that will be helping mold the minds of the future. 

[00:40:24] TBS: Indeed. And one of the things that we are developing now is a curriculum for schools. So for first grade all the way up to 12th grade, because you're absolutely right. These are important tools. No less important than the 3Rs; reading, writing and arithmetic. These are important tools for students to be exposed to. 

[00:40:42] AF: I couldn't agree more. And it really is something that I think if I had been exposed to this sort of thing when I was in second grade, third grade, I think it would have saved me some painful years. You know what I mean? I learned from the pain, but I think that understanding all of this at an early age really can set the foundation that would help mitigate and cut down some of the medication, the negative thoughts, the things that we kind of expect people to go through in their teenage years. I mean, I have a two-year-old daughter right now and I was having a conversation with my wife about, “Oh! The middle school is tough. It was always tough time for me, like I was dealing with this. I was doing that.” But I think if you give people the equipment and the toolset they need at a young age, you can really circumvent a lot of that. 

[00:41:26] TBS: Yes. And at a young age, it’s easier to give these tools, because their brains are more plastic, more accessible. It's possible at any age, and yet it's easier early on. 

[00:41:38] AF: So tell me real quick before I let you go, you’ve been very generous of your time. But the main elements that make up the Happiness studies Academy, they’re spiritual, physical, intellectual, relational, and emotional. How do you build these into all the content you create at HAS?

[00:41:54] TBS: Basically, the whole course is built around these five elements, because if you think about it, happiness comprises a spiritual well-being, which is about meaning and presence, and about physical well-being, which is about exercise, and recovery, and nutrition, of course, and intellectual well-being, which is about curiosity and learning, as well as relational well-being, which of course is about relationship with other people as well as with ourselves. And finally, emotional well-being, which is about dealing with painful emotions and cultivating pleasurable ones. And all these elements are interconnected. And when we think about our life as a whole and integrate these five elements into our lives, that's when we are more likely to fulfill our potential for happiness. Not to be happy all the time. That's not possible, but to increase our quota of happiness.

[00:42:44] AF: Well, Tal, thank you so much for your time, and thank you for coming back on the show today. You have an open invitation. Anytime you'd like to come back, just feel free to say the word and we would love to have you on. I think your work is extremely important. And I'm glad that it's getting out there to the masses and especially the young minds of the world through Happiness Studies Academy. I will note that we do have a link to HSA on our show notes and we've also got a promo code for 10% off. So if you do want to check it out, find that in the show notes. 

Tal, before I let you go, I want to give listeners the information, where can they find you? Where can they learn more about you and get involved if they would like?

[00:43:20] TBS: Great. So the Happiness Studies Academy, that's happinessstudies.academy. We have information for all our courses, or individuals, or organizations. If you’re school and interested in this, that would be great too. 

[00:43:34] AF: Well, Tal, thank you so much for coming back on The Science of Success. Let's make it a little bit less than four years between the next time we chat. That’d be great. But you've been so generous with your time, and thank you for all the work that you’ve put out in the world.

[00:43:45] TBS: Great. Thank you, Austin. 

[00:43:48] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener email.

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Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes because that helps boost the algorithm, that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. 

Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talked about in the show, links transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com, just hit the show notes button right at the top. 

Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

October 01, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Chris-Voss-01.png

Chris Voss - Never Lie To Anyone You're Not Going To Kill

September 24, 2020 by Lace Gilger

This episode is near and dear to our hearts here at The Science of Success. This episode acted as a launching pad for our growth and we have a lot of people to thank for that. Listen to the episode intro for the full story and find out more about all the players involved in the resources below!

Chris Voss is the founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group, an adjunct professor at Georgetown and University of Southern California. During his 24 year term with the FBI where he most recently served as the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, Voss worked approximately 150 kidnappings worldwide, from the Middle East to Haiti including several high-profile kidnappings. Voss has been trained by the FBI, Scotland Yard, and Harvard in the art of negotiation and negotiated with likes of terrorists, hostage-takers, and bank robbers.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Chris’s LinkedIn, Twitter, and Facebook

  • Chris’s Wiki Article

Misc

  • [SoS Episode] Influence Anyone With Secret Lessons Learned From The World’s Top Hostage Negotiators with Former FBI Negotiator Chris Voss

  • [Article] Entrepreneur - “FBI Hostage Negotiation Tactics You Can Use Every Day“

  • [Article Directory] Dan Bova Articles

  • [Social] Dan Bova Twitter

  • [Book] Getting More by Stuart Diamond

  • [Book] Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss and Tahl Raz

  • [Website] The Black Swan Group

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:12.4] AF: Why, hello there ladies and gentlemen. Now I'm jumping in real quick to say you need to stick around for the intro here because we've got a very special episode on the show today featuring Chris Voss. Now, this is a from the archives episode, which means we aired this episode some time ago back in 2016. But the value and lessons learned are so impactful we just had to share it with you again. 

Now, this episode played a huge role in the creation and the growth of the show in general. So I just wanted to give you a little bit of context as we roll into the episode. Chris' interview, aside from being one of the most actionable and entertaining interviews we've ever had on the show, was a real launching point for our show and it's an interview that's near and dear to both Matt and I's heart.

To give you a little more context, after the interview we pitched a few ideas for an article about it, you know, around the show. We pitched it to dozens and dozens of different news outlets and publications and we pitched it to Entreprenuer.com and a great writer by the name of Dan Bova picked it up. We've been pitching various, as I said, several outlets. Sent a lot of emails out, getting various levels of traction. But at the time, having interest from such a publication as Entrepreneur was huge and I've thought about this a lot, and I'm going to outline further some of the strategies, the scripts, and the tactics we used to reach out to Dan and others like him some time in the near future. I'm thinking probably in form of a blog post or a spin-off kind of hyper tactical episode.

But in any case, when this episode was picked up our average downloads per week were somewhere around 7,000. However, once the Chris Voss episode was picked up by Entrepreneur.com, we saw the downloads of the episodes shoot up to around 70,000. That's 10X nearly overnight. The article featuring the episode was on the homepage and one of Entrepreneur's top stories online for several, several weeks. The episode, even today, continues to get thousands of plays, which has remained one of our top performing episodes that we ever had on the show across all mediums. So not only on the website, on Apple, on Google Podcasts, on YouTube, everywhere we had the show Chris Voss' episode has continued to perform even four years later. 

So I wanted to, real quickly obviously, give a shout out to Chris Voss for his incredible stories, the insights he shared. His book, Never Split the Difference, has remained a top seller for years and I'd highly, highly recommend it. I'd also like to thank Entrepreneur.com for picking up the article and of course, Dan Bova for writing it, for working with us, helping craft that content and for the work he puts out in the world in general. We're going to link to all of this in the show notes too. So the resources, the books, the socials for all the people mentioned will all be in the show notes. 

Be sure to go to successpodcast.com to find the resources and also, you knew this was coming, sign up for our email list right up on the homepage. Our subscribers are the first to know about all the comings and goings of the show, but you also are going to get access to exclusive content you won't find anywhere else, specifically when you sign up you get our free course. We spent a tonne of time on it, which is appropriately named "How to Make Time for What Matters Most in Your Life".

But you know are you on the go? Maybe you're working out again? We say it every week. And if you are, good for you. Sign up for our email list easily just by texting the word "smarter" to the number 44222 and you'll be signed up today. Now, on to Chris Voss, the myth, the man, the legend.

Chris Voss is the founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group, and adjunct professor at the Georgetown and the University of Southern California. During his 24 year term with the FBI where he most recently served as the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, Voss worked approximately 150 kidnappings worldwide. That's insane. From the Middle East to Haiti, including a number of high profile kidnappings. Voss has been trained by the FBI, Scotland Yard, and Harvard in the art of negotiation and negotiated with the likes of terrorists, hostage takers, and bank robbers. Some very unsavory characters. 

In this episode, we discuss the secret lessons hostage negotiators around the world use to win the day, how to understand and influence people's emotional drivers, the two words that can transform any negotiation, and the biggest hallmarks of powerful and master negotiators, and much more with, as I mentioned, the FBI's former Lead International Kidnapping Negotiator, Chris Voss. 

We really hope you enjoy the interview. It's from the archives. If you like this format, let us know. Reach out to me at austin@successpodcast.com. We'll be sure to feature more episodes from the past that continue to be relevant today. Without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, we give you Chris Voss.

[00:05:11.3] MB: Today we have an incredible guest on the show, Chris Voss. Chris is the founder and CEO of the Black Swan Group, an adjunct professor at the Georgetown and the University of Southern California. During his 24 year term with the FBI where he most recently served as the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator, Chris worked with approximately a 150 different kidnappings worldwide from the Middle East to Haiti including a number of high profile kidnappings. He also has been trained by the FBI, Scotland Yard and Harvard in the art of negotiation and negotiated with the likes of terrorists, hostage takers and bank robbers. 

Chris, welcome to The Science of Success.

[00:05:48.2] CV: Thank you very much, happy to be here. 

[00:05:51.8] MB: Well we’re super excited to have you on. So you obviously have an incredible background, tell us a little bit about your story and how you got down this path?

[00:06:00.0] CV: You know I was walking through the corn fields of Iowa when I realized that I had to be a hostage negotiator, no. You know, a police officer, FBI agent, New York City, part of joint terrorist task force, actually I’ve been a SWAT guy. The crazy thing was I had been on the SWAT team in the FBI and I had a reoccurring knee injury and providence, the universe got me into this whole communication thing, verbal communication, what a concept, right? 

But I knew we had hostage negotiators and I decided I wanted to learn how to be a hostage negotiator and then it landed into just basic human communication and how do we communicate with people who really don’t see eye to eye to us no matter how intense that is and it was great. I found it much more interesting and it added a lot to the rest of my life and now it’s making work in business and personal life. 

[00:06:52.8] MB: And you’ve obviously been through some incredibly difficult, tense negotiation situations. One of the concepts that, I believed you’ve talked about it and something that I’m really interested in, is the idea of the behavioral change stairway. Could you explain that concept a little bit? 

[00:07:08.0] CV: Well, it’s the idea that there’s a progression of how we get to where we want to go and the shortest distance between two points is not a straight line. It’s like what I like to talk about in communication all the time because, we want to go directly at what we want. And the stairways, it really started as two dimensional representation of we’ve got to make some steps and each step then becomes the foundation for the next step and the first of it is just basic developing a rapport. 

You develop a rapport by, I’ll use the term that puts everybody to sleep, empathy. Most of the time, when was the last time you were at a cocktail party and you had an exciting conversation about the latest developments in empathy? It’s probably not being talked about on CNN but it’s really an indirect root to establish in a great relationship is letting the side know you understand them and showing them how you understand. 

And one step leads to another, which basically then puts you in a position to influence other people. It’s based on trust and it’s based really on emotional intelligence and one step at a time was each step being a great foundation for the next and you can influence outcomes. You can change people’s minds. 

[00:08:20.7] MB: And one of the things you’ve done incredibly well is bring emotion into the process of negotiation, which originally started out as a very dry, logic-driven field. Can you talk about that a little bit? 

[00:08:32.3] CV: Yeah, well you know I’m not bringing emotion in at all. It’s there, it’s the elephant in the room. I mean there’s this monstrous creature in the middle of every communication and what we want is based on what we care about. You know, you make every single decision, each one of us, I make all my decisions based on what I care about and that makes decision making by definition an emotional process. So my approach is let’s stop kidding ourselves. 

Hostage negotiators don’t kid themselves about emotions. So they said, “Okay, look this is an emotionally driven situation. Give me a set of tools where I can navigate these emotions.” The history of business negotiation has been this fiction that somehow we’re rational and we’re logical, and I’m sorry and that’s why emotional intelligence has become to the forefront of business success today. Study after study, survey after survey shows that the top performers of every level at business are those who are using the most emotional intelligence, every single level. 

Even IT internet related interactions, you have to be able to communicate with people to get stuff done and so give me the tools from hostage negotiators, the tools that are designed for maximum success in emotions and do they apply to our business and personal life? Absolutely. Because we’re driven by what we want and so it’s a recognition of the reality of we make our decisions based on what we want. Emotional, what we care about, emotional intelligence and these are the skills, these are phenomenal skills. 

[00:10:10.1] MB: You made an incredible point, which is that it’s not that you’re bringing emotion into the process, it’s that it’s already there and we just have to learn to work with it and accept and recognize that fact.

[00:10:23.4] CV: Yeah, it’s just there. I used to have to try to make the case for it and scientists don’t understand what hold together the universe and because they can’t measure it they say, “Well there must be something out there called dark matter. It must be dark matter,” and I used to say emotions are the dark matter of negotiation because we don’t know what it is. We can’t wrap our minds around it, but it holds everything together. So let’s recognize that it exists and maximize it and this stuff is very effective. I mean you can’t get away from it. 

[00:10:53.7] MB: And you touched on empathy a moment ago. Tell me about how to sort of leverage that, especially in a situation where somebody listening might think, “How can you have empathy for a terrorist or a hostage taker?”

[00:11:06.7] CV: Right, right and you know what? This is not your grandfather’s empathy either. I mean we’ve learned enough about it over the years and that’s why I changed the term in my book to “tactical empathy”. I mean we know what this is. We know what we’re looking for and we know how it affects people. So I’ll tell you in advance what are the triggers you want to look for and it changes people’s outcomes. It’s the real essence of connecting with someone because everybody can help you. 

There is an old saying, “Never be mean to someone who could hurt you by doing nothing,” and there’s pretty much everybody that you interact with can probably hurt you by inaction or choosing not to do something. So if you are willing to accept that that’s true, then the flip side is, pretty much everybody you interact with can help you in some small way if they feel like it and they feel like it when you connect with them, when you have rapport with them. When they feel like you understand them. 

When they look at you and they say, “That’s right. I believe in what you just said,” and it can be something as simple as taking your application and then putting them on the bottom of the pile because they didn’t like the way you spoke to them to putting them on the top or maybe taking your application or whatever you want, your request, and directly walk in it and see the boss at that moment. Or it’s the Macy’s sales person who looks two ways to see if the manager is around and then decides to give you the employee discount because they like the way that you talk to them. I’ve had that happen to me a number of times. 

You know somebody is always in a position to help you if they feel like it and when you start accumulating this over a long term period of time, it’s a return on your investment and you find yourself with great relationships in business deals, and somebody comes to you and says, “Hey you know what? I looked out for you today. There was this problem coming and I went ahead and dealt with it because I knew it was going to catch you off guard,” and that’s the way you become successful over a long period of time and you’re happier and the people that you do business with like doing business with you.

[00:13:05.3] MB: So how can somebody who’s listening right now apply the lessons that you’ve learned from building empathy or creating tactical empathy for someone like a terrorist or a hostage taker and what are some practical ways they can apply that in their own lives? 

[00:13:20.9] CV: Okay, great question and I’m glad you brought it back because the exercise, the challenge is, let’s define tactical empathy. The same way Daniel Goldman calls it cognitive empathy and Goldman says that actually sociopaths are the best at this and that’s simply recognizing what’s driving the other side and then articulating it back to them in a way where they feel hurt. So this is what’s important here is what’s not said. 

I’m not saying you agree, I’m not saying you disagree. If I neither agree nor disagree with your position, if I simply understand where you’re coming from and recognize it, that gives me the ability to have empathy with anybody. I can know what drives you without agreeing with it and then I can have empathy with a terrorist or sympathy for the devil. Empathy with a terrorist, not quite the same thing. I’m not agreeing it, I’m not feeling it, I am just seeing it. 

And because of that, I can tell you, with Jihadi John, the killer from ISIS, I can tell you what drives him and as soon as I know what drives him because I simply recognize it, now I can influence it, I can move and I can change it. I might not be able to change it a little, I might be able to change it a lot. But I am greedy in my influence and I want to and I am very particular. My dollars are scarce, so I am not spending my dollars when I can spend emotional intelligence and change the outcomes at the same time and with that, it gives me the power to have influence on anybody on the planet. 

It might not be a little, it might be a lot. I’m not willing to leave anything on the table so I’ll take whatever influence I can get to try to change the outcome. If you can accept that you only have to see where the other side is coming from to be able to then take apart what their drivers are and maybe dismantle them and rebuild them a little bit, their emotional drivers, you can then have influence on anybody on the planet and that’s what a hostage negotiator does. We put ourselves in a position to influence anybody. We don’t have to like them, we just have to be willing to influence them. 

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[00:17:11.4] MB: I love that point that it doesn’t matter what your starting point is, you can create influence with anybody on the planet if you are able to really dig in and understand what they want, what they’re feeling and thinking emotionally and what drives them. 

[00:17:26.2] CV: Yeah and it’s important to draw the distinction that understanding is not agreement. Now that scares some people. That scares a lot of people. I can understand Bernie Sanders supporters, I can understand Donald Trump supporters, I can understand Hillary Clinton supporters. I can understand all of them and soon as I know where they’re coming from, it gives me an opportunity to adjust where they’re going. 

[00:17:49.1] MB: You touched on this concept a moment ago, the idea of, and maybe it’s a little bit different, but the idea of mirroring. Can you talk a little bit about that? 

[00:17:56.0] CV: Yeah, sure. A mirror is, and it’s not the mirror that everybody else thinks of. Most people see mirroring as, “Let me mirror their body language, let me stand like they stand. If they’ve got their chin in their right hand, let me put my right hand in my chin. If they’re leaning against the wall, let me lean against the wall.” The mirroring of the physical body language, that’s not it. It’s simpler and it’s actually more powerful. 

The mirroring a hostage negotiator does, what the difference is, the mirroring is just the repetition of the last one to three words that someone has said. The last one to three words that someone has said? Exactly. Just exactly like that, and it’s a great simple tool that feels enormously awkward when you do it. When I am training people I have them do it right away because the biggest barrier to these skills is not their complexity or the intellectual challenge of understanding them. 

The barrier here is feeling awkward because it’s different. You feel awkward, the other person feels listened to. A mirror triggers, punches of button in somebody else’s mind. It’s like reword what you just said and go on. It’s always a command. It’s the closest thing that a lot of people that I have trained they say, “Wow, this is Jedi mind trick. A Jedi mind trick? It’s a Jedi mind trick.” Because people love it and they want to go on. 

It was a funny story that, it made me look funny and that’s why I included it in the book. I had an employee that was mirroring me for 45 minutes once and I didn’t even know it. My son was sitting there and finally he couldn’t take it anymore, he goes, “Stop at doing it, don’t you see what he’s doing to you?” And I was like, “No, what’s he doing?” “He’s been mirroring you for the last 45 minutes, you didn’t even know it. You just enjoyed talking so much he kept you going.” 

[00:19:41.1] MB: So it’s really just as simple as repeating back the three or four words that they said? 

[00:19:46.9] CV: Right, you pick up one to three words and the problem that solves also is like most of us when we say what we mean, we often use words that are very carefully selected for our own brain and we know what we mean by that but there is a pretty good chance actually, it isn’t exactly the way the other person is thinking and your perfect words are kind of missing the mark and if somebody says, “What do you mean by that?” 

Well most likely they repeat the exact same words only louder. It’s like an American trying to be understood in France. I just say it again, only louder and what a mirror does is it flips that switch so the person will repeat what they’ve said in different words. It’s how you get someone to paraphrase themselves is what it really does. It triggers a paraphrase and you don’t have to paraphrase for them, you let them paraphrase and you’re going to increase your meaning. 

The other thing you’re going to do, you mentioned moments before, it buys moments for you in the conversation so you get more time to think and the other thing that mirroring does and I’ve got a client of mine who’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, he mirrors the other sides negotiation position. So key words in it every time, because he knows how they respond tells them whether or not they’re firm or whether or not they’re open for conversation. And when you get someone to paraphrase themselves, that gives you a real clear idea of the firmness of their position. 

[00:21:12.9] MB: So the idea of buying moments in a conversation, I know you’ve talked about the importance of listening and I want to dig into that, but also the idea that if you’re focused on only on explaining yourself and explaining your arguments, it’s really, really hard to kind of step back and understand what the other side is saying. 

[00:21:29.1] CV: Right, yeah good point. You need this moments because some people have described the art of negotiation as letting the other side have your way. Well how do you let the other side have your way? You’ve got to get the other guy talking, which means you have to be quiet and you have to keep them talking. Winning in a negotiation is not beating the other side. 

Because when you beat the other side, actually you leave resentment planted in them and they want to pay you back if they feel beaten and what’s going to happen is it’s going to erode your implementation and as a human being or as a company, revenue is realized when it comes in not when it’s promised, which means you don’t make your profit when the deal is signed. You make your profit as the deal is implemented, even if it’s in an agreement between a husband and wife. You both realize value as you carry out what you agreed to. People who feel beaten aren’t going to want to implement. They’re not going to want you to realize your revenue or again, they’re going to hurt you when they can by doing nothing. 

So you buy these moments so you let the other side talk that you find out what’s possible, never be so sure of what you want that you wouldn’t take something better. You’ve got to hit the other side what those better things might be and then when they came up with a great idea that you didn’t think of, you look at them and you congratulate them for how smart they are and then they’re going to implement. You’re both going to like it and you’re both be better off and so you’ve got to let the other side go first in order to get there. 

[00:22:57.9] MB: So going back a little bit to talk more about how we can be better listeners, tell me about the concept of active listening and how can we cultivate that? 

[00:23:06.8] CV: Well, it’s not just active but it’s proactive. So you cultivate that first, the first and simplest way to cultivate it is to shut the front door. Is to go silent and, you know, we talk about moments, what’s a moment? A moment is three seconds. Give the other guy a chance to speak and then actually try to paraphrase what he said or ask a clarifying question. There’s great power and clarity when you’re trying to pull clarity out of the other side. 

Paraphrase what they’ve said. Mirror the last three words of what they just said to get them to paraphrase. You’re designing a communication process that draws the other side out, which the other thing that you want the other side to do is you want them to show you their hidden cards. In every conversation, in every negotiation, there are things that we’re holding close to the vest that’s really important to us. That’s why we’re holding them close to the vest. 

There are hidden cards if you will are proprietary information, are secret information that happens every time. If you are holding cards, so are they and where the real magic lies is where those cards overlap. So you’ve got to get the other side to trust you enough by listening, what we used to call active listening, which is not just sitting there with your mouth shut and glaring at them intensely. But it’s asking them a good question, asking them what or how. 

The two biggest great questions start with the words “what and how”. Or trying to draw them out with some clarification and then give the conversation back to them. Most of us when we talk, we want to talk for half an hour. You know, ask them a question and let them start talking again. Encourage them. It’s a very encouraging process but it’s very much how you get at their black swans, there are hidden information, their secret hidden cards where you make great deals. 

[00:25:04.2] MB: The two greatest questions start with the words what or how, explain that? 

[00:25:09.6] CV: What and how, people loved to be asked how to do something. People loved to be asked, “What about this works for you?” Of the list of open ended questions that you could use. What and how are the most powerful because they make the other side feel good. In many cases, you’ve just done though is especially with how, you’ve caused them to take a look at the overall situation and the context of it and you’ve also caused them, you know, one of my first favorite way of saying no is, “How am I supposed to do that?” 

There’s two things about saying that. First of all, it’s those words but secondly and even more importantly is your tone of voice. Because people can either feel like you are asking for help or you are making an accusation. I can say, “How am I supposed to do that when you present me with a difficult challenge that I can’t accomplish?” Or I could say, “How am I supposed to that!?” The exact same words but completely different meaning which is an accusation and I am signaling that I don’t like what you want and maybe even then I don’t like you, which is bad for the communication. 

So the how questions are one of the most flexible things combined with tone of voice to draw the other side out or even to set a boundary and say, “Look, I can’t do that, and I need you to take a look at the whole context here and I need you to look at me when I say how am I supposed to that?” And it lets you know that I want to cooperate with you but what you just put on the table just doesn’t work. 

[00:26:38.9] MB: And you touched on this in that explanation, tell me more about open ended questions and why they’re so important? 

[00:26:44.6] CV: Well they invite the other side to talk, they show that you’re willing to listen and they are the most flexible overall. You can actually, and some people have been running circles with the how and what questions, so how do you follow up a how and what question is extremely important also. Every CEO in the planet has been asked, “What keeps you awake at night?” And they’re tired of that question. Not that they’re tired of that question but as soon as they’re done answering, the person that asked them doesn’t listen to the answer in any way, shape or form. 

And that gets back to a little bit of the active listening or the proactive listening I’ve talked about before. If somebody answers your question, somebody answers your how or what question, you’ve got to show them that you are paying attention and that you just didn’t have a preset list of things that you want to say regardless of what their response is. But there is a list of what’s called a reporter’s question. It’s the who, what, when and why, how and where? And the how and what questions actually invite the longer answers. If I ask you “when, where, who,” those are all very short answers, very concise answers that don’t invite a lot of conversation. 

If I ask you why even when I want to know why, you feel accused. Why did you do that? Why did you wear that shirt? Why did you get up at 7 o’clock this morning? So one of the advantages I have as a hostage negotiators having used these skills in literally every culture on the planet, interesting side note, every hostage negotiation team whether in Japan, whether they’re in China or whether they’re in Nigeria, whether they’re in Latin America uses the same skills and these skills have been road tested in every culture and they work on use because we’re human beings. 

The why question in every culture on the planet, we always ask why when we think someone is doing something wrong. We’re like battered children for why, we always feel accused and so that’s why we knock that off of our list of questions asked. Now you may need to know why, you just turn it to what question, instead of saying, “Why did you do that?” You say, “What made you do that?” So if you throw all the rest of these out, you’re left with the what and how questions and they’re the most powerful. 

[00:28:57.6] MB: Tell me the story of Jose Escobar’s kidnapping? 

[00:29:00.4] CV: We used to use, Jose Escobar was really when we moved completely away from the classic proof of life question, you know, “What was the name of Jose’s first dog when he was a kid?” The what questions that are designed to enlist a one word answer and there are security questions for our computer, there are security questions for our bank accounts, our credit cards, it’s a question that sounds like an open ended question and it’s usually a one or two word answer and only one person on the planet can answer it. 

That used to be the proof of life question, and we realized that we won’t get long answers. We didn’t get that much out of it. It was real easy for the inside to answer it, it took no effort on their part and bang-bang, we proved somebody was alive but we really didn’t get anywhere else and we switched that to, “How do we know Jose’s alive and how are we supposed to pay you if we don’t know he’s alive?” And that massively changed the dynamic because the other side, killers, terrorist, murderers, it made them stop and think. It made them look at the context, it made them look at us. 

It accomplished all the things that we want to good how question to do and the thing that I realized more than anything else was because he turned dilemma in business is, how do you get to the decision maker? Well, kidnapping organizations are businesses and the decision maker is never the negotiator just like every business negotiation. We found out after the fact is that we kept asking the representative, the negotiator of the group acting on the decision maker’s behalf, “How do we know Pepe’s alive? How are we supposed to pay if we don’t know if he’s alive?” 

Their representative kept going back to the jungle and huddling up with the rest of the kidnappers saying, “This is what I’m being asked, this is the answer that I’ve been giving. I just want to know if this is the best way for us to proceed based on the question,” and they spend a tremendous amount of time, we found out afterwards, talking about whether or not they were going to take Jose to town and put him on a phone. 

When we realized that that adjustment from “what was the name of Pepe’s first dog”, or Jose’s first dog. I call him Pepe now and then because that’s actually his nickname and how do we know Jose is alive? It changes the whole dynamic on the other side and they get together and they worked together in ways that we know that we had never made kidnapping groups work together before. Jose ultimately escaped and part of us getting them to work together and slow the situation down contributed to his opportunity to escape. So that was our adjustment, getting away from one word answers to the how question and we gained a tremendous amount of power over the other side when we did that. 

[00:31:49.5] MB: And how can that same proof of life concept be applied in a business context? 

[00:31:55.3] CV: Yeah, it’s a great question and it gets back to in business, the primary objective is to get to the decision maker, get past the blocker get to the decision maker. That’s faulty because first of all, that treats the blocker, who’s the important player on their team, as if they need to be dismissed and that sends a bad signal and it sets your blocker up as actually a dill killer on down the line because never be mean to someone who can hurt you by doing nothing. 

As soon as you’re dismissive of the blocker, the blocker now begins to slow you down or chooses to let you be hurt by things that they can hurt you with inaction. So we need that blocker, we need the blocker to feel included to get to the decision maker and the how questions begin to involve the blocker in our solution. When you’re talking to the blocker in business, the representatives, the sales rep, the secretary whoever it might be, you would ask things like, “How are your objectives proceeding with your company? How can we work with you so that everybody is better off? How does what I propose fit into what you guys are trying to accomplish?” 

“How does what I propose fit into what you guys are trying to accomplish”, now suddenly makes your blocker feel involved and wants you to succeed because they are going to answer you and they’re going to want their answer to succeed and as soon as they give you that answer, you now have a collaborator on the other side as oppose to a blocker and they now start to work with you to work with the decision maker who’s the person you’re trying to get to. 

Because once you get to the decision maker, after you’re done talking to them, the decision maker is going to go back to the blocker and say, “What did you think of this guy” or gal? “How did they interact with you?” They’re going to say, “Thank you for bringing this person to me because this fits into our objective. So they’re going to say, “Don’t ever let that guy through again.” Your blocker is going to have a tremendous to them how all of that is teed up to the decision maker and that’s what the how questions are designed to do, pull the other side together behind your objective.

[00:33:53.2] MB: That’s fascinating. 

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[00:35:51.2] MB: So what are some of the other parallels you have seen or some of the ideas that have crossed over from hostage negotiation to business negotiation or negotiation in everyday life? 

[00:36:01.1] CV: Well the other side always wants more. They just don’t know where it is and as soon as they feel listened to, they’re going to be more amenable to other ideas. There are three basic types in negotiation and they get us back to the caveman response because the caveman part of our brain, the amygdala, that where every thought goes through there. Evolution hasn’t evolved that out of our brain, it’s still there and so when the caveman saw something, he thought, “I run from it, I kill it, or I make friends with it and it becomes part of my tribe.” 

Fight, flight or make friends. I eat it, it eats me, I mate with it, however you want to describe those three basic responses but in each one of those responses, coming to an agreement is a secondary benefit. There’s always something more important to the other side than coming to an agreement and part of that is always in being understood. So if I can gain leverage on you, if I can get more of what I want by not spending a dime but by simply letting you know I understand, then I open up the opportunity to get more for me and to have you like it. 

Stuart Diamond wrote a book that I loved the title of it’s called Getting More. It sounds very selfish but it’s in fact what we all want. We all want to do better, getting more is also about having, from my context, it’s also getting more by having better relationships. By having someone want to collaborate, by having the same person want to do business with you again instead of you needing to search for new business counterparts all the time. 

I have tremendous respect for Donald Trump and what he’s accomplished as a negotiator and as a business man. Understand that he needs to change his business venues every few years with his very aggressive approach because people get tired of that aggressive approach. When was the last time he put up a building in New York City that came anywhere near to Trump Tower at the Grand Central Station? Magnificent pieces of real estate that he did back in the 80’s. 

Having to look for new business partners all the time means that he has to continually move from place to place to place. Not all of us have the ability to do this. Most of us like Warren Buffett would, I’d rather be like Warren Buffett because he’s got to be not only the richest guy in Omaha but he maybe one of the richest people on the planet. He hasn’t gone from place to place to place to place and not all of us want to move from place to place to place almost as if we’re in the witness security program. We want to stay in one place and we want to flourish and we want to prosper. 

And you do that by having great relationships and having people wanting to continue to do business with you and that’s a lot of what this is really designed to do. 

[00:38:55.7] MB: So you talked about the difference in style between Trump and Warren Buffett. Tell me about how that plays into this sort of the three different negotiating styles, which you touched on as well, and describe a little bit what each of those styles are. 

[00:39:10.0] CV: Well you know one style is a very extremely assertive. I supposed that even more say it’s sort of aggressive and the aggressive style is intoxicating because you beat the other side and you have victory and you celebrate. The problem with that is, the more people you beat, the fewer people want to do business with you and what really comes to pass is as I was talking to an executive in an energy company in Boston several years ago, the CEO of the company. 

In his industry. He developed a relationship of being a very tough negotiator and after a while, no one would make deals with him. Everybody that he talked to if by definition you did business with him, he won that meant you lost, nobody wanted to do business with him and he was in the position where he actually had a deal on his desk that he negotiated every single point with the CEO from the other company and the CEO refused to sign. 

Having negotiated and agreed to it at every point when it came to signing at the bottom he wouldn’t sign and he said, “I know why this guy won’t do this. I’ve got such a reputation as a tough negotiator. If he signs a deal that means he lost and he knows his board’s going to fire him because he lost,” and that’s the residue of being the very assertive guy. When you always win and the other side always loses then pretty soon people lose their appetite for that and nobody wants to do business with you and with all due respect for Mr. Trump, his business is spread all over the world. 

He doesn’t stay in one place. He’s not putting building up in New York City anymore, he’s not building casinos in Atlantic City anymore, he’ll build a golf course or a resort in one location and then he will have to move on and my assessment is he’s left such a toxic residue with each deal that people don’t want to continue to do business with him. That’s one type, now he actually prefers to be understood, interestingly enough, and the book that he’s gotten some criticism over. 

As to whether or not he wrote it, I don’t know the art of the deal, I don’t know if he wrote it or not and his co-author is bad mouthing him now which is another interesting residue of being assertive but I read that a long time ago and he was more than willing to talk about and described the people that could handle him and there are people that have handled him. His son in law is one of them. His son in law was not one of the assertive-aggressive types, his son in law is very analytical. 

His son in law is very quiet, Ivanka’s husband I believe and in this is a great description of what I refer to as the analytical guy. The analytical guy doesn’t like open conflict. He sees it as being extremely non-productive. The analytical guy thinks things through and you will never discuss a problem with an analytical person until they have at least one solution and probably multiple solutions. So the analytical guy, the non-open combat guy can do very well with the assertive negotiator and you see that play out in Donald Trump’s organization with the people that he seems to have the most respect for. 

So that’s the second type, and then the third type is the person whose relationship oriented and they make friends. They bring you into their tribe, they want you to be part of their life, they want to have a long term ongoing relationship with you, they’re likeable and there’s an interesting statistic that people who are likeable, you’re six times more likely to make a deal with someone you like and that becomes a very strong tactic to be brought into a negotiation. You can understand that if you are likeable, people will want to do business with you. 

That sounds crazy, right? Why would you want to do business with somebody you like as oppose to somebody who feels like they’ve got punched in the face by you. So likeability is the third core attribute and in my view the great negotiator combines all three tribes. A great negotiator is assertive without being aggressive. A great negotiator thinks things through and comes up with multiple options. A great negotiator develops a good relationship with you and is very likeable and you want to continue to do business with them. So whatever your default type is, I’m here to tell you don’t discard it, add to it and add to it by evolving and improving not by changing. 

[00.43:29.2] MB: You’ve said before that you would never lie to anyone that you’re not going to kill. Tell me about that? 

[00:43:36.4] CV: Yeah, you know, that came up because when I went through Harvard Law School’s negotiation course as a student and I was, I’m the only FBI agent, I think, that every went through the class who wasn’t a student. They said, “You know, what do you feel about lying?” Because they are very much against lying. Lying is a bad idea and I said, “Well as a hostage negotiator, I’d never lied to anybody that I am not going to kill and even then, I’d probably don’t do it because somebody they know is going to find out about it and I’m going to have to pay for it.” 

I mean lying is this great seductive trap, “Maybe I can just get what I want right now if I tell this one lie and I’ll fix it later.” Well there’s a couple of problems with that. You just set a ticking time bomb on yourself that’s going to blow up because nobody likes being lied to. That’s the first problem. The second problem is, what if they were trying to trap you in a lie to begin with? 

Most people, the practiced liars try to trick us into lying to see if we will. I mean they see it a million miles away and there are some negotiators that actually try to seduce you into a lie early on so they can see your first tale. They will ask you a question they know that you won’t give you a straight direct response too. So many times the temptation to lie is actually a trap set by the other side. All right, so let’s pretend that it is not a trap and most of the time it is. If I lie to you, you’re going to make me pay for it and then their trust is broken, you’ll never going to believe me again. 

And if I can get away with that lie, and I never have to deal with you again, since you’re in my world to begin with, you’re going to tell somebody that I lied to you and my reputation is going to precede me. There is an old phrase, “Do something right, three people know about it. Do something wrong, 12 people know about it.” So there is a 12X multiplier on lying and that gets around and then pretty soon, you’re done in your community and you’re going to have to join the witness security program because you’re going to have to move on. So there’s just so many things wrong with lying. It’s just such a bad idea. I’m not interested in letting myself in for those kind of problems. 

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[00:47:12.6] MB: So how do you feel about compromise in a negotiation? 

[00:47:15.2] CV: You knew you were going to ask me that question. I hate compromise. The spirit of compromise is a great thing, the practice of comprise is a bad thing. The best descriptor for compromise is I’ve got this great gray suit on and I’m not sure whether or not I want to wear a black shoes or brown shoes, so I compromise and I wear one black and one brown. That’s compromise. “I’m not sure if you’re right, you’re not sure if I’m right, we’ll take a little bit of each one’s idea and let’s put it together and see how it works,” and a lot of times compromise is a little bit lazy. 

Look, I’m sorry for those of you that compromise but take a little more time, find a better outcome. Compromise is watering down solutions and then the secondary part of the problem with compromise is we always feel loses twice as much as we feel equivalent gains. So when I compromise, I feel I’ve given in and I’ve lost something and it’s going to sting me and for me to feel even with you, I need you to lose too. Compromise is a path to lose-lose and then if a loss feels twice as much as an equivalent gain, if I lost five, I want you to lose 10. And if I make you lose 10, then when you lose 10, you’re going to make me want to lose 20 to get even, and it’s this vicious spiral and I’ve heard a lot of people describe negotiation as, “Well we were both unhappy so then I know it was a great deal.” 

That’s not what I want. I don’t want to be unhappy with the deal and I don’t want to be at a deal where I am not satisfied until I make you feel unhappy. It becomes this vicious spiral and if you just take a little more time and maybe hear the other side out, maybe they’ll throw something on the table that you really like and instead of asking them to compromise, you take their better solution. That gets you out of the vicious spiral and maybe put you into a virtuous circle where things are getting better all the time instead of getting each other back. So compromise is a dangerous whirlpool trap that I don’t want to get sucked into. 

[00:49:25.7] MB: Tell me about the idea of shaping what is fair in a negotiation? 

[00:49:31.7] CV: Fair is the F word. You just used the F word on me in a negotiation. Oh my God! Fair is this emotional, bang-bang word that if I say, “Look, I just want what’s fair,” which is said all the time, I’ve just accused you of being unfair. It’s what manipulative negotiators do. It’s what the NFL owners did when they lock the players out. The NFL players said, “We’ll be happy to come back to work as soon as you open the books and show us what you’re offering us is equitable based on revenue,” and the owners didn’t want to answer that question. 

So they said, “We’ve giving the players a fair offer.” It was a cover for a position of weakness. We use the F word, the word fair, when we’re afraid we can’t defend our position but somehow we’re losing. So it’s actually a great tip of the iceberg window into what’s going on with the other side. Nobody ever uses the word fair when they are coming from a position of strength ever. Because if you’ve got a position of strength, they’ll just lay it out. 

We often use fair when we’re afraid of a loss coming our way and we can’t defend ourselves from that loss and interestingly enough, I tell, in all the masters of business administration programs that I teach in, watch for the word fair and I’ll bet you you’d see it come up in nearly every negotiation you have and I’ll be darned if that isn’t true. So people are covering positions of weakness all the time and fair is the word that comes up more frequently than price and is always an indicator of the other side’s feeling of insecurity. 

[00:51:21.0] MB: That’s fascinating. I love that idea that when somebody starts talking about fairness, it’s really a tell for weakness or lack of strength. 

[00:51:28.2] CV: Yeah, it is. 

[00:51:31.2] MB: So changing gears a little bit, and this something I’m fascinated about, tell me about the Chase Bank robbery? 

[00:51:37.6] CV: Yeah. Well, bank robbers with hostages happen all the time in the movies and in the real world that we live in, it happens about once every 20 years in the entire country. So I was fortunate enough to negotiate at the Chase Bank robbery with hostages and literally it was in New York City and the last bank robbery with hostages in New York City was 20 years before that. We get into this bank robbery and we expect bank robbers upset about being trapped and we get a stone cold manipulative guy on the other side who is absolutely convinced that he can work his way out of this and it was the first time I learned about the use of personal pronouns. 

We couldn’t get this guy to use “I, me or my, I want”, you know, “this is my idea”, “this isn’t making me feel good”. We couldn’t get him to use a singular personal pronoun to save his life. He always used “we, they and them”, he always talked about the guys, the other guys in the bank as being the more dangerous ones. You know, “I’m not sure because I don’t know what they’re going to do.” He was always laying it off on them. I’ve came to found out that this is the hallmark of powerful negotiators in business. If you’re sitting across the table from someone that is constantly talking about the people that are not at the table, the rest of his team. You know, “My board of directors,” the guys that are not in the room that is a sign of the dominant decision maker in the group. 

They are covering their influence with plural pronouns because they do not want you to corner then and in the Chase Manhattan bank robbery, we had the mastermind of the bank robbery on the phone from the very beginning. He’d manipulated everybody and he was hiding that manipulation from everybody and he didn’t want us to know that he was the ring leader. So he was happy to pick up the phone and tell us about the other guys that were inside and he had to ask permission from them. He was constantly laying it off on them. 

I saw this in a kidnapping in the Philippines about 10 years after that and have come to learn that the dominant decision maker will avoid singular pronouns like the plague. He’s hiding or she is hiding their influence. So you’re talking to somebody who’s always using plural pronouns and trying to defer to others, you’re talking to a powerful and influential person and they know it and they don’t want you to corner them and that was the biggest lesson in the Chase Manhattan Bank. 

[00:54:13.8] MB: That’s such a fascinating story and obviously an incredibly important negotiating lesson as well, thank you for sharing that. What would one piece of homework be that you might have for some of the people listening to this podcast? 

[00:54:25.5] CV: You know watch the interactions around you just a little. Watch people talking at each other because they both want to go first and watch when one of them gets tired and the other keeps talking at the tired person, you’ll see the tired person try to get the other side to shut up by saying, “You’re right, you’re right, you’re right.” Watch the number of agreements that one person thinks was made when the other person just said, “You’re right,” with no intention of following through. 

Study the dynamics around you a little bit and you’ll see that if you will listen first, you’re going to save a lot of time and you’ll see that “you’re right” is what people say to you to get you to be quiet and when you can get out of that, the homework then is try to get people to say “that’s right” instead of “you’re right” and then see what happens. I can promise you that amazing things will happen. 

[00:55:34.5] MB: What are some resources you would recommend for listeners who want to do some more research about negotiation and some of the things we’ve discussed today?

[00:55:40.8] CV: All right, so I’m going to say I want you to buy my book, Never Split the Difference. I think you’re going to get a return in your investment before you finish the first chapter. I think it’s a great book primarily because I got a great co-author who wrote a readable book and the feedback that we’ve gotten back constantly from everybody that’s read it is, “It’s useable, it’s counter intuitive, and it’s an easy read.” It’s not unusual to have somebody tell me they’ve read it multiple times. So I’m going to ask you to buy my book. 

Now, we’ve got a bunch of stuff on the website, blackswanltd.com, that’s complimentary. It’s free. We give away a lot of free stuff. We’ve got a twice a month negotiation advisory newsletter that’s very short pieces to give you useable information that comes out twice a month. It’s called The Edge and it’s free. We’ve got a variety of different short PDF reports that will supplement your negotiation. Those are free, we’ve got some e-mail negotiation lessons that we charge you for and I think that they’re a great buy. You are going to get seven times your value out of anything that you buy from us and you’re going to get tremendous amount of value off our website and the free stuff also, blackswanltd.com. 

[00:57:04.0] MB: And I can agree, Chris’s book is amazing and he obviously, anybody listening to this can tell that he has been through some incredible, and incredibly difficult negotiations and there are a ton of lessons from his book. 

Well Chris, this has been amazing. I’m so fascinated with your story and your background and all the work that you have done. I just wanted to say thank you very much for being on the Science of Success.

[00:57:22.1] CV: Man, you are awesome. Thank you for having me as a guest. 

[00:57:26.7] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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September 24, 2020 /Lace Gilger

Don't Label Me! The Psychology of Labels with Irshad Manji

September 17, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this episode, we sit down with Irshad Manji and discuss her latest book Don’t Label Me. We dive into how we can avoid making snap judgments about not only people we disagree with but also those we agree with. We use real-world examples to show how you can prevent small cues from making massively problematic assumptions about the world and those around you.

Irshad Manji is an internationally acclaimed educator, author, and speaker. She serves as the Director for Courage, Curiosity, and Character at Let Grow, a national nonprofit that promotes intellectual independence and emotional resilience in young people. Its signature program is Moral Courage College, which has been brought to K-12 audiences and further adapted for universities and businesses. Her latest book, Don't Label Me, is a guide to doing diversity without inflaming the culture wars. Irshad’s two previous books detailed the need for reform within her faith of Islam. Using the Moral Courage Method, she shows how to be disruptive without becoming destructive.

  • Irshad’s incredible background and story. 

  • Irshad’s organization - Let Grow - and her title, Director of Courage, Curiosity, and Character - now that’s a title!

  • Her latest book. 

  • How we can begin to have these conversations about diversity without inflaming the culture wars or causing an argument. 

  • What exactly happens when we label someone? How does this affect how we interact with this person?

  • Where do the labels we assign people come from? Is there someone/something from your past that causes you to feel the same way about certain people?

  • Real-world examples of how our labels can get us into trouble. 

  • Are you labeling people right now and don’t even know it. 

  • Irshad helps Austin point out some of his own biases and assumptions. 

  • Why is it so hard to have political and social conversations with those we don’t perfectly agree with and align with?

  • How to potentially save your relationships with those you may not see 100% eye to eye with. 

  • Much, much more!

  • Be on the lookout for another Irshad interview coming later in 2020!

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Irshad’s Website and Wiki Article

  • Irshad’s LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

Media

  • PR Newswire - “New York Times Bestselling Author Irshad Manji Joins Let Grow to Promote "Unwoke Diversity" in Schools”

  • Newsweek - “In 'Don't Label Me,' Irshad Manji Has a Radical Prescription for Fellow Progressives: "Stop Shaming and Start Listening" By Mary Kaye Schilling

  • NY Daily News - “How protesters can reclaim the movement: The path to underlining police-reform protesters’ moral authority” By Irshad Manji

  • Washington University - The Source - “Honest diversity, moral courage and shedding labels: A Q&A with Irshad Manji” by Leslie Gibson McCarthy

  • Philanthropy Magazine - “Interview with Irshad Manji”

  • Huffpost Article Directory

  • [Radio Interview] WGN Radio 720 - “Getting to Yes, And… | Irshad Manji, “Don’t Label Me””

  • [Radio Interview] WBUR - “To Promote American Diversity, Irshad Manji Says, Resist Labels And Listen” With Meghna Chakrabarti

  • [Podcast] Midday - "Don't Label Me": Irshad Manji on What We Get Wrong About Diversity By Tom Hall & Cianna B. Greaves

  • [Podcast] Quillette Podcast 22 – Liberal Muslim Irshad Manji discusses her new book Don’t Label Me

Videos

  • Irshad’s YouTube Channel

    • Irshad Manji vs Mehdi Hasan: Head to Head Debate on Al Jazeera

  • MoralCourageChannel YouTube Channel 

  • Real Time with Bill Maher - Overtime: Irshad Manji, Larry Charles, Eric Swalwell, Evelyn Farkas, Kristen Soltis Anderson (HBO)

  • The Agenda with Steve Paikin - Irshad Manji: Rethinking Life on the Left

  • CNN - The truth about Islam: bigotry vs. facts

  • Talks at Google - Irshad Manji: "The Trouble with Islam Today" | Talks at Google

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • Don't Label Me: An Incredible Conversation for Divided Times by Irshad Manji

  • Allah, Liberty and Love: The Courage to Reconcile Faith and Freedom  by Irshad Manji

  • The Trouble with Islam: A Muslim's Call for Reform in Her Faith by Irshad Manji

Misc

  • Watch Irshad make Bill Maher speechless on his HBO show

  • View this 3-minute video in which Irshad explains why students should resist being so easily offended

  • Read this excerpt about Jim (a Republican) and Irshad (um, not a Republican) from Don't Label Me

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:18] AF: Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners, just like you, in over 100 countries. I’m your co-host, Austin Fable.

Today, we've got an absolutely incredible guest, Irshad Manji. We dig into a ton of great information that's particularly relevant to the climate of the world today. Things such as how you can avoid labeling people, what it really means to label someone and the shortcuts your brain may try to take when someone makes a statement that if not avoided, could get you into really big trouble.

Before we dig in, are you enjoying the show and content we put out each week for you? If so, there are two incredibly easy, yet tremendously impactful things you could do for Matt and I. First, leave us a quick five-star review on your podcast listening platform of choice. It helps others like you find the show.

Next, go to our home page at www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our e-mail list today. Our subscribers are the first to know about all the comings and goings of the show, but also you'll have access to exclusive content you won't find anywhere else. Specifically when you sign up, you'll get our free course we spent a ton of time on called aptly, How to Make Time for what Matters Most in Your Life. Are you on the go? Maybe you're working out right now. Well, good for you. Sign up for our e-mail list easily just by texting the word smarter, that's S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44-222 and we'll get you signed up today.

If you haven't already, check out last week's episode with Laura Vanderkam. We get into a ton of things that are super relevant to the COVID world, such as how to get more done when you're working from home, managing your time better and much, much more.

On this episode, we interview an incredible guest, Irshad Manji. Irshad is an internationally acclaimed educator, author and speaker. She serves as the Director of Courage, Curiosity and Character at Let Grow, a national non-profit that promotes intellectual independence and emotional resilience in young people. Super important work. Its signature program is the Moral Courage College, which has been brought to K-12 audiences and further adapted for universities and businesses.

Her latest book, Don't Label Me, is a guide to doing diversity without inflaming the culture wars. Irshad’s two previous books detailed the need for reform within her faith of Islam and using the moral courage method, she shows how to be disruptive without becoming destructive. We had a great conversation and we'll be having her back on the show in short order. Without further ado, here's our interview with Irshad.

[00:03:01] AF: Irshad, welcome to the Science of Success.

[00:03:04] IR: Very happy to be here, Austin. Thanks.

[00:03:06] AF: Well, thank you so much for taking the time. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our conversations pre-recording, so I’m really looking forward to digging in. First of all, for listeners who may not be familiar with you and your work and your background, just tell us a little bit about yourself.

[00:03:20] IR: Boy, that's actually a hard one, because I feel I lived many lives in one lifetime. Very quickly, I was born in East Africa in a country called Uganda. My family and I, along with hundreds of thousands of other families of South Asian heritage, so Indian heritage, were booted out by the military dictator Idi Amin. This was my first experience with racism. Now this might sound odd, because Idi Amin in was black and we were brown. Really, can a black guy be racist against brown people?

Well, the truth is anybody can be racist against anybody else. I think that that'll influence some of our later conversation here. He declared Africa belongs to the blacks. Even though my family had been in Africa for more than three generations and had nowhere else to go, the fact that we had brown skin made us unwelcome.

We wound up as refugees in the only country that was willing to accept us at the time and that was Canada. I grew up on the West Coast in Vancouver, attending two kinds of schools, the secular public school of most North American kids. Then on top of that, Austin, every Saturday for several hours at a stretch, the Islamic religious school known as the Madrasa. I began asking some very simple questions, but apparently, they were also inconvenient questions, because they got me booted out at ripe old age of 14.

My mother, God bless her, she's working class. By her own admission, “not educated,” but she really has the smarts of an effective mom. She said to me, “Look, you're a clever girl. I can't tell you what to do now. I want you to think about what your next move will be. You spend all of these hours at the Madrasa every Saturday. Well now, you can't, because you're expelled. What else are you going to do with that time?”

Here's the thing, Austin, because she expressed so much faith in my ability to think for myself, I wanted to live up to that expectation. I did the closest thing to Google that we had at the time. I went to the public library every Saturday and I read everything I could about cultures and religions and belief systems. It was at that time that I discovered something about my own religion of Islam, something positive, that I would have never learned sadly at the religious school itself. That is that Islam has its own tradition of independent thinking and reasoning and debate and dissent and yes, reinterpretation.

When I found that we have this tradition in our faith, I realized that I could be both a questioning Muslim and a faithful Muslim all at the same time. That meant I could integrate these seeming opposite, seeming opposites. By integrating them, I could have integrity. That word has played a huge role in my life, because today as the founder of something called Moral Courage College, I teach people how to have honest, stimulating conversations with those whom they disagree with.

What I’m trying to show and this is all about integrity, is that you can stand your ground and find common ground. In a polarized culture, like ours is today, that idea is almost incomprehensible. People feel that they have to choose between these false opposites, just like I felt I had to choose between being a questioning person of faith and being a devout person of faith.

Well, it turns out that the world is complex, life is deliciously multifaceted and I’m trying to show that you don't have to be at war with people who hold very different convictions than you. You actually can take a position and listen to people with opposite positions grow from it. Even then, still decide that on the whole, you're right, but that doesn't mean that the other person needs to be an object of your hatred, or even your suspicion.

In a nutshell, that's how I got from refugee Muslim girl to founder of Moral Courage College and the author of a book called Don't Label Me, how to do diversity without inflaming the culture wars.

[00:08:26] AF: Such an incredible story. I appreciate you sharing that with us. I mean, literally out of the hundreds and hundreds of guests we've had, I don't think there is a more inspiring and just overall interesting story of overcoming everything that you have. I’m very excited to dig into all of this. I think in some ways, I feel a bit like a kindred spirit hearing your story of being exiled for questioning. A lot of times, I have things that I question about my own religious beliefs and depending on the crowd you're around, it's either very welcomed and explained patiently, or it's, “Get on my page. Or I don't really want to talk to you.”

It also dovetails into the larger theme that we're going to explore here, which is how to have conversations with people that you disagree with. I’m 31 as of this recording. I’m far from super, super experienced, but I do believe one of the best superpowers, if you will, that someone can have is the ability to take on new information and adjust one's viewpoint based on new information. I think too often, we in arguments, or when conversations don't just go happy go lucky and we're not all on the same page, too quickly, we feel as though we almost need to beat somebody like, “At the end of the conversation, if I don't feel I’ve won, then I’m not going to walk away happy.”

[00:09:46] IR: Right. That is a brilliant insight on your part, because the fact is that we are all as human beings, endowed with a brain that is not very intelligent. It's true. There is a primal part of the brain that kicks in whenever we feel in any way, threatened. That part of the brain is the source of what is called the ego.

Now, I’m not here to get self-helpy on anybody. In fact, I’m going to stick to neuroscience. Ego rears its head when we feel that we're in a life and death situation and that's perfectly understandable, because back when our ancestors were hunter-gatherers on the African Savanna, anything that rustled in the bush could spell the end of your life. That part of the brain, the primal part of the brain signaled to you that you'd better at this moment, freeze, flee or fight.

In a case like that, the ego is your best friend. Problem is, the good problem is that in contemporary society, even during a pandemic, the vast majority of the time, we are not in mortal danger. We are not in life and death situations. But the primal part of the brain does not appreciate this. Whenever we are being disagreed with, it can feel like our very existence, or our very humanity is being called into question. That is when this primal part of the brain says, you are in mortal danger, so you better get ready to fight, freeze or flee.

In fact, it's not true. We're not in mortal danger. We are only feeling mere discomfort. We've got to find a way to override the ego, the primal part of the brain in order to tap into the more executive functioning part of the brain, which is the more evolved region of our brain. That is where rather than emotion alone living there, it's in the more evolved part of the brain that reason and emotion can co-exist.

Sometimes, I know this will sound deceptively simple, but I want our listeners to try this. Sometimes, all it takes to buy yourself a couple of seconds in order to tap into the evolved part of the brain and not freak out when you're being disagreed with, all it takes is to take a breath or two; a deep breath. What you do when you go that route is you're actually slow-jamming your brain, Austin. You're decelerating the blood rush in your body. That then allows you to not react.

Instead, you can respond. That word is important, because respond is the root of responsibility. In other words, you can react responsibly, knowing that you are merely uncomfortable, rather than in a life and death situation.

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[00:14:51] AF: That’s such good advice. I think it's something so simple too. Just stop and take a breath or two. Instead, we forget to do that. We get emotional. We let our ego drive our actions and like you said, back thousands of years ago, if it was a cheetah in the brush, it was either freeze, run, or you fight, you get your spear. Nowadays, it might be flipping over your dinner at the table when you're having a conversation with family doesn't go well, or walking out of the room.

I think, even beyond just conversations really at any time, whether it be responding to a text, or an e-mail, I mean, the breath work can really help you stay away from making some possibly damaging and lasting bad decisions.

[00:15:31] IR: There's this fascinating book. It's a slim volume, so very readable, that I myself have been rereading over the years. It's called The Science of Breath. That book shows how neuroscience can in fact, explain why the simple act of breathing leads to so much more calm and constructive dialogue, even when we are in some way, offended, or angry, or hurt.

The simple act of taking in oxygen can mean the difference between ruining a relationship, by saying something that you actually don't mean, or retaining that relationship and still getting your point across. Notice, Austin, that I’m not talking about compromising your point of view. I’m not for a minute, suggesting dilute, where you actually stand. I am saying that there are much more effective ways to get your point across than berating, insulting, mocking, or labeling people as evil, or ignorant.

[00:16:47] AF: That is a great distinction and honestly, a perfect segue to digging into the book. Your latest book, Don't Label Me, it's described as a guide to doing diversity without inflaming the culture wars, which is great. I mean, I can't think of a more timely message to be getting out there. Let's just start it, okay? Let's say, we're having a conversation and all of a sudden, someone says something or brings something up that we aren't comfortable with, or that we want to engage in. We stop. We take a deep breath. We get the oxygen into our brain. How do we start the conversation that's going to help drive us forward and not be counterproductive?

Never underestimate the power of asking sincere questions. Now, I emphasize first and foremost, the word sincere. Because again, too often, we will lurch for the gotcha question. We'll say things like, “Oh, well what about this? Or what about that?” We'll try and trap the other person in a contradiction. All that does is makes the other person as defensive and possibly, more defensive than you already are.

When we get defensive, when our emotional defenses are up, we are apropos of what you said a few minutes ago, we are consumed with a question in our heads. The question being, “How do I respond? How can I win this debate?” We don't actually wind up listening to the other person. We just wind up fixating on how to walk away from this now argument, feeling good about ourselves. Nothing constructive. Nothing constructive can come of making somebody else defensive.

The first thing that we need to do when we breathe and lower our own emotional defenses is we need to clarify, whether what we just heard really was meant that way. Ask a question like, “Maybe I got this wrong. But I hear you telling me X. Is that what you mean to say?” You can also ensure that again, you're not out to trap the other person by saying something like, “Please know that this is a sincere question. I’m not here to play gotcha. I just want to make sure I understand.”

Then ask more questions, not based on any hidden agenda that you came into the conversation with. For example, “I’m going to crush this loser.” That's a hidden agenda, okay. No. Ask more questions based on what this person is saying in real-time. Let me give you an example of why I emphasize this. In Don't Label Me, I tell the story of a man by the name of Jim, who until recently was my neighbor. For many, many years has been a father figure to me. He is a staunch republican. Let's just put it this way, I’m not.

We have managed to find a way to communicate with one another in which we learn from one another. Every once in a while, Austin, Jim will lapse into treating me as if I am a caricature of a liberal. As I begin speaking and he feels triggered, he will say something to me. He will throw a liberal talking point back into my face and make fun of it, as if that was what I was saying.

I have to at that point, gently grab him by the shoulders and shake him a little bit and say, “Jim, who are you talking to right now? Are you talking to Rachel Maddow, or are you talking to Irshad Manji? Because I’m not her. I don't give a rats you know what, what she's reported to have said on her show last night. Don't treat me like I am a caricature. Treat me like I am who you knolw I am.” He then realizes yes, that he wasn't actually listening to what I was saying.

He was letting himself be set off by my point of view and then inflating that in his own head to what a stereotype of a liberal would be saying to him. You see, we all have the capacity to distort one another through the labels that we assign to one another. We all also are on the receiving end of being labeled by other people.

Regardless of where you fall in that conversation, whether you're doing the labeling, or whether you yourself are being labeled, you've got to be alert to how defensiveness turns us, twists us into something that we never meant to be and makes us say something that we'll regret later on.

Remember not to treat your other that way. When your other is treating you that way, remember to gently point that out. Doesn't mean calling them out, but gently point it out, so that you guys can get back into a mode that I call inquisitive, not inquisitional.

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[00:24:21] AF: It's such a powerful point. Honestly, I’m having a couple of realizations myself here, just even while we're on the line. I do think, there's been times that I having heard you explain it like that, I can see when it's been done to me, but also when I’ve done it where someone may present like you said, a talking point that they think they disagree with at some talking head on television views. When I say something, I immediately get the backlash as if I was on that page.

Same thing, I’ve had conversations with individuals where they'll say something. Instead of inquiring and asking more and clarifying, I immediately assume, “Okay, you must prescribe to ABCD doctrine that I do not agree with.” Then my response is almost tailored with those assumptions that if you said one thing that I might not be totally clear on, I now assume that you must prescribe to all of those and that's how I continue forward. As opposed to knowing like, “Okay, hold on. I know this person. They don't feel like these other four things I may have just assumed. It's a little more nuanced than that. Let me dig in and find more.”

[00:25:28] IR: That word nuance, is exactly the word that I was going to use. The fact is that all of us, all of us, even the so-called straight white guy are multi-faceted, okay. If there's one label, Austin, that I think does capture all sentient beings, and notice I said, sentient beings and not human beings, because non-human animals are also this. It is that we are plurals. We are many things at once. Always, always we are so much more than meets the eye.

This is why labels can be dangerous. It's not just that labels themselves can distort, because they can only capture one slice of who any of us is. It's also the baggage that goes with that label. If you're a let's say, republican and it's factually true, let's say, that you're a republican, well that word then carries all of these connotations that may not actually describe where you stand on any number of issues.

Again, it's the baggage that we have to be aware of. Remember that that is baggage that I didn't have any say in. You didn't have any say in. It's profoundly undemocratic to be stuffing somebody into a label with all of the implications that come with it and then punishing them for either having that label, which by the way, you decided you're going to give them, or punishing them for pushing back on that label, because now they're challenging your point of view.

Do you see how this can become such a hot mess, actually? It all starts because we're not actually listening to where somebody is coming from. We're not actually asking questions, sincere questions about why they believe what they believe. All we're doing is judging, judging on terms that are convenient for us.

[00:27:46] AF: It's almost in some ways, a form of laziness. To give the people labels is easy. To ask inquisitive questions is difficult.

[00:27:53] IR: Well, that's exactly right. Back to the point I made earlier about how our brains are not exactly the intelligent organs that we’re raised to believe, there's a reason actually that they're not in the first instance, all that intelligent. That's because our brains strive to conserve energy.

After all, every one of us is having to navigate innumerable bits and bytes of information, day in and day out. The brain in order not to experience what's called cognitive overload, in other words, in order not to feel overwhelmed and therefore shut down, the brain assigns labels to things. A table is a table, even though quite frankly, a different use of it could mean that it becomes a door. A chair is a chair, although depending on how we lounge in it, it could also be a bed.

The point is that the brain needs to make sense of things right away, so we can get on with functioning. Of course, it will assign labels. Here's the key to remember, people are not things. Things are static. People are not. It is why labels will invariably distort dynamic evolving creatures, sentient beings into something that those labels simply cannot capture on their own.

To be perfectly practical here, I say fine, if you need to label somebody just to begin making sense of them, begin trying to understand them, fine, I get it. That's where your brain goes. Okay, make your labels the starting point, but do not make them your finish lines. If you truly care about that person and that's a big if. I get it. If you truly care about that person in the hopes that they will truly care about you and where you're coming from, then engage.

This leads me, forgive the sermon, this leads me to one final point that I really want to get across to our listeners. Again, it comes back to the Science of Success. There is a non-negotiable ironclad law of human psychology. It is this; if you want to be heard, you must first be willing to hear.

You see, my effort to get people to engage with one another is not about being nice. It's not even about being civil. I’ll be the first person to say that much harm has been committed by the powers that be, in every culture, in the name of civility. No. That's not where I’m coming from. I’m saying that if you want to be successful in communicating your own message, you will much more likely achieve that success if you first listen and only then speak. It's counterintuitive, I know, but everything worthwhile quite frankly, involves paradox and this is one of them.

[00:31:25] AF: I love that point. So powerful. Putting on a masterclass here. I love it. If you want to be heard, you must first be willing to hear. It's just incredibly powerful. I’ve heard versions of that statement, but I’ve never heard it said that way. Quick clarifying point and then I want to move on to a couple of things that they're going to push my boundaries a little bit too. Let's say that we've defaulted, okay, we have to use our labels as a starting point, I think, would it be true to say that if we are going to use labels as a starting point, but not use them just to define people, but rather it's a place to grow and understand from, would we need to adjust our labels from the get-go because I can think of a number of things that I now after having this conversation and speaking to with you for a little while, I would say they're labels, but they're extreme when I think at certain points.

If I’m going to use those as a baseline, I would almost need to tone them down to just say, “Okay. This person is X and that's all,” as a label. Then build on top of that. As opposed to in some conversations, if someone made a certain comment, I might give a label that has again, not necessarily intentionally, but might also have the one, two, three, four, five, six other things attached to it that necessarily might not apply.

[00:32:37] IR: Right. Exactly. I think, there's a very quaint word that what you've just said brings to mind. The word is humility. [Inaudible 00:32:46] that in our era of frankly, arrogance and certitude and instant gratification, the word humility is probably laughable. You'd be surprised. In fact, most of us would be surprised how far a little bit of humility goes these days.

This is why I think that the point about asking questions and sincere questions, rather than making statements right off the bat has so much psychological impact. It literally shows that you are listening and therefore, that you care about the other person. Therefore, that you are in that moment willing to be a student, rather than a teacher.

When that person feels all of those things, which typically they will if you treat them with that humility, they will in turn, feel a moral reciprocity to give you what you just gave them. In the book, I tell a number of stories of how even hardcore people, people quite frankly who would have acknowledged themselves to be racists, have been humbled in a very positive way; have discovered for themselves why their so-called truths were lacking in truth and have since reformed themselves, because of the respect that they were shown.

Now, I want to say one word about the word respect. Because people use that word all the time. We got to be respectful, or respect me. So often, Austin, people assume that I have to agree with you if I’m going to respect you, or you have to agree with me in order for me to feel respect.  But look, respect is not the same thing as agreement. Respect comes from the Latin word re-spectate, which means to look, spectate, which means to look again.

In other words, the first impression that you get from somebody ought not to be the last impression that you leave with. Look again. That means ask questions. That means speak with them. That means engage further and invite them to speak with you. Notice again, nobody is saying therefore, you must change your mind about where you stand. Not at all. I want to emphasize if on balance, you still believe after that engagement that you are in the right, God bless. What that means is you can be more secure in where you're coming from. By engaging with the other, you will have learned about their values. You will have picked up on what's important to them. With that information, you can actually reframe your own position in terms of their values. Therefore, you will finally have a fighting shot at being heard.

Actually, engaging rather than walking away in most cases will provide you with a gift, and it's up to you about whether you choose to accept that gift and use it to be an effective, successful communicator.

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[00:38:31] AF: I love it. So, so many great points. When you talked about being humble and how actually being humble will cause the other person to reciprocate that humbleness and be more open to hearing, it reminded me of something I’ve heard. I think it may have been Vishen Lakhiani on the podcast a number of years ago, but basically saying that forgiving somebody for doing you wrong is actually the most selfish thing you can do. It's a paradox or counter-intuitive and that you would think that forgiving someone is all about the other person, but really, it allows you to let go of the anger that you have there.

In some ways, I see that as being similar to being humble. You might see if you're humbled as that's weakness, or that's you giving ground on your argument. Actually by being humble, you're getting something from the other person in the long run while also building an authentic bridge towards understanding and like you said, ultimately being able to reframe your point, or your position after understanding theirs in a way that might actually get through to them, as opposed to just continuing to butt heads using your own preconceived notions and perceptions.

[00:39:37] IR: Yeah. I’m going to push back a little bit on the analogy between what I just said and the idea of forgiveness. Again, I want our listeners to understand, I am not, not advocating that you forgive people who have hurt you in some way. Look, that's up to you if you decide to forgive them.

I’ll be very upfront. I grew up in a violent household, Austin. My father was a very, very abusive man; physically, emotionally, psychologically. I have not forgiven him. The reason I have not forgiven him and will not forgive him is that he refuses to offer an apology to the person he hurt the most, my mother. Until he has the humility to apologize, he will not get my forgiveness. What he does get from me is an appreciation that he too grew up with violence and that therefore, he did not know any better way to express his own frustrations and anger.

I understand why he was a violent soul. I don't forgive it, but I understand. That understanding has allowed me to move forward. This all raises, by the way, another really interesting point. I keep saying, be sure to ask questions and sincere questions. Well now, I’m going to suggest that we also ask questions of ourselves. When you are entering into a conversation with somebody who profoundly disagrees with you on an issue that you're passionate about, you got to ask yourself, “Why am I entering what I think will be a conversation at all? Is it because ultimately, I want to crush them? Is it because frankly, I want to humiliate them and I think I can?”

If so, and let's be very honest with ourselves here. Remember, you don't have to say this to anybody else, but be honest with yourself. If that's the reason you're even engaging with them, then all you're in it for is yourself. That profoundly selfish. That feel-good moment, that spurt of dopamine that you're going to get from the primal part of your brain when you think that you've just slam-dunked them, that's going to last, I don't know, maybe two or three seconds, but the potential harm, the fallout from that behavior could last a lot longer.

On the other hand, if you can honestly say to yourself, “I’m entering this conversation, because I think it can be a conversation. It doesn't have to become a debate. I’m going to test myself. I’m going to put myself in the hot seat and see if I can pick up slivers of this person's backstory. I’m going to challenge myself to create a whole new way of explaining my position, a way that they've never heard before, that they'll probably be surprised by and that'll be interesting to see how they respond to that.”

In other words, if you gamify it, doesn't mean playing the other person, but rather making this a bit of an adventure for yourself, that is when experiments and the discoveries that come from experiments arise. That's when it becomes really fun. Let's be clear about what our intentions are, because the process truly is the product. If you're in it with bad motives, the outcome will likely be lousy. If you go into it with at the very least, benign and hopefully even constructive motives, your jaw will drop at what is possible.

[00:43:49] AF: The bridges that can be built, as long as you approach it the right way. I think everyone's been guilty of it. I’m thinking here to a conversation I’ve had in the past week, where I can definitely say my goal was not necessarily to come at it from understanding, but not to embarrass, but more to win. The conversation did not go anywhere. Fortunately, it's someone I know well enough, where it's not a huge deal, but it's a useless exercise.

[00:44:16] IR: Well, hold on. I’m going to stop you right there, because again, you tell me if I’m just making a bad assumption here, because I’m very willing to be put on my place. When you say, it became a useless exercise, that I think assumes that the outcome of any such engagement has to be that the other person changes their mind. Otherwise, what has really been achieved? Therefore, if nothing that has been achieved, then it's useless. That's what I want to challenge.

You see, I don't think the intention here should ever be to change someone's mind. If you have approached it with enough grace and over the course of several conversations, enough persistence, chances are they will change their mind. Again, that is only a bonus. That's just icing on the cake. What you've actually achieved, even just by engaging with them is that you have signaled to them, “I see you as a fellow human being.” By signaling that to them, you Austin, have humanized yourself to them.

[00:45:36] AF: Yeah, that's such a great point. I appreciate your pushback there. I mean, you're keeping me in check and then I can feel myself ingesting this information and thinking of all the things I definitely need to work on when it comes to how I communicate, especially around some of these topics that might be “more difficult” to discuss.

[00:45:56] IR: Let me just say this much more, because we're giving as you said earlier, something of a master class in communicating across lines of disagreement. Look, I appreciate that what I’m saying takes time. You do have to develop the patience to not blow a fuse when somebody says something that just really rubs you the wrong way. I’m not suggesting that you can do this with everybody. I mean, frankly, there's only 24 hours in a day and some of us more than others, I count myself in this group, need our beauty sleep. We can't do this with every single person.

This is why, maybe I’ll issue a friendly challenge to our listeners. Between now and November 3rd, 2020, identify just one person, just one in your life. It could be a family member. It could be a friend. It could be a co-worker, a spouse, a neighbor, whatever, but one person, whom you know really gets on your nerves because of the position that they take on an issue that you care deeply about. Start a conversation with them about that issue.

Now, if you're thinking, “Why in the hell would I want to bring more stress in an already stressed environment? Why would I want to do that to myself?” Remember, you're not doing it to yourself. You are doing it for yourself, because everything you learn and every lesson from this conversation and from Don't Label Me that you apply to this nascent conversation, will help you when you're negotiating, let's say for a pay raise, when you're trying to talk some sense into your kids on huge matters, such as taking drugs, or the amount of drugs that they take. It might even come in handy in saving your marriage.

I can't tell you how many Facebook posts, tweets, Instagrams, e-mails I’ve received since the book has come out reporting to me the successes that people have had in relationships that have really hit a rut and have now been revived, because they've applied some of these lessons. It's not about torturing yourself. It's really about investing in your ability to grow and to quite frankly, enjoy healthier, happier relationships on the fronts that matter to you.

[00:49:01] AF: Irshad, this has been a great conversation. I love the homework for the audience and you've been very generous with your time, so I want to make sure we don't take too much more of it. I’m curious too. To close out, for listeners who may take your homework to heart and they may be starting these conversations, what's the best way for them to learn more about you, learn more about Don't Label Me, the work you're doing, but also if they wanted to get in touch and share an experience with you, what's the best way they can go about that?

[00:49:27] IR: Fabulous. I have a personal website, irshadmanji.com. I also have a professional website. I’m the founder of something called Moral Courage College, which teaches people around the world how to do the right thing in the face of their fears. On a polarized culture like ours, one of the scariest things to do is indeed, to speak with people who you  know you're going to have a hard time understanding, or agreeing with.

If you're interested, therefore in not just learning how to do that, but here's a thought, even becoming what we call a moral courage mentor, in becoming certified to teach this on your own and use these lessons to resolve conflicts in your own families, or communities, churches, companies, especially in the post-George Floyd moment, where emotions are running very, very high and demands are being made on all kinds of fronts, come to moralcourage.com and hit in the top navigation bar ‘Learn’. You will read all about Moral Courage College, our philosophy, our methodology and not just what we can do for schools and businesses and communities, but also how you can be part of bringing this methodology, the Moral Courage Method to places that matter to you.

[00:51:04] AF: Irshad, thank you so much for the time and thank you for coming on the show. I’d love to do it again sometime. We didn't even get to half my questions, just because the conversation kept going and we were having such a great time. We'd love to do it again. We'll definitely include all of those resources and links in our show notes. Thank you so much for the time. I hope we can connect again soon.

[00:51:21] IR: I hope so too, Austin. Be well.

[00:51:24] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

September 17, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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How The Most Successful People Work From Home with Laura Vanderkam

September 10, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this episode, we dig into what the people who are most successful working from home do each and every day. We dig into how you can manage your time more effectively and how to stay sane and adjust in a world that has you working, living, and playing all in the same four walls. 

Laura Vanderkam is the bestselling author of What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast, I Know How She Does It, and 168 Hours, among others. She is the host of the podcasts The New Corner Office and Before Breakfast and the co-host, with Sarah Hart-Unger, of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. Her 2016 TED talk, "How to Gain Control of Your Free Time," has been viewed more than 10 million times. Her work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Fast Company, Fortune, and other publications. Laura has also appeared on national TV Shows such as The Today Show and Fox and Friends.

We discuss…

  • What Laura has been up to since her last appearance on the show.

  • How she's managed to stay productive with everyone else in her family now being home during the workday.

  • How can you learn to structure and organize your day so you ensure you get the most done. 

  • The paradox of how most people find it harder to be productive while working from home despite not having to deal with…

    • Commutes

    • Social Gatherings

    • Workplace Distractions

    • Meaningless Meetings

  • What does the workday structure of a time management expert look like?

  • Why you should manage by tasks you wish to complete, not time itself. 

  • How to set the rhythm for your day so you feel challenged but not stretched too thin. 

  • How to build a team around you that will thrive while working from home. 

  • Why now more than ever you need to think big. 

  • You need to optimize your well being and make sure you're making time for yourself. In the WFH environment, it can be easy to forget to prioritize the things you may have done in the past regularly. 

  • And much more!

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You've got to check out this incredible online community Matt and I have become a part of. It's the ultimate knowledge hub from The Hustle, called Trends. 

Trends allows you to interact with and learn from a community of industry leaders to be the first to know what emerging trends are coming next. 

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Laura’s Website

  • Laura’s Podcast: Best of Both Worlds

  • Laura’s LinkedIn, Twitter, and  Facebook

Media

  • Kansas Public Radio - “Conversations: Laura Vanderkam, "The New Corner Office: How the Most Successful People Work from Home" by Dan Skinner

  • Washington Post - “We have a lot more time now. So why can’t we get anything done?” by Laura Vanderkam

  • Money.com - “5 Time Management Tips That Will Make You More Money” by Paul Schrodt

  • The Indian Express - “How to manage time for your priorities”

  • WSJ - “‘The New Corner Office’ Review: Remote Control” By Belinda Lanks

  • Medium. Forge - “If You Think You ‘Thrive on Pressure,’ You’re Probably Wrong” by Laura Vanderkam

  • [Podcast] Marie Forleo - TOO BUSY & BURNT OUT? HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES WITH YOUR TIME

Videos

  • Sheed Communications - Chatting with Laura Vanderkam about The New Corner Office

  • Independent Women’s Forum - #IWFReads Author Chat with Laura Vanderkam

  • Evan Carmichael - How to Take CONTROL of Your TIME and Get MORE DONE! | Laura Vanderkam

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • The New Corner Office: How the Most Successful People Work from Home  by Laura Vanderkam

  • Juliet's School of Possibilities: A Little Story About the Power of Priorities  by Laura Vanderkam

  • Savoring by Fred B. Bryant and Joseph Veroff

  • Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done by Laura Vanderkam

  • 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think by Laura Vanderkam

  • I Know How She Does It: How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time by Laura Vanderkam

  • What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: And Two Other Short Guides to Achieving More at Work and at Home by Laura Vanderkam

  • All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Wealth by Laura Vanderkam

  • Grindhopping: Building a Rewarding Career Without Paying Your Dues: Build a Rewarding Career Without Paying Your Dues (CLS.EDUCATION) by Laura Vanderkam

Misc

  • [SoS Episode] The Death of Time Management & How You Can Manipulate Time with Laura Vanderkam

  • [SoS Episode] Reclaim Your Time & Take Back Control Of Your Life in 30 Minutes with Laura Vanderkam

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:19] AF: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. My name is Austin Fable, and welcome to the show. This week we have another returning guest on the show, Laura Vanderkam. Laura and I dig in to not only some of the key principles behind time management, one of my favorite subjects, but also hone-in on how we can be more effective leaders and get more done while working from home. 

Before we dig in though, are you loving the show and all the content we put out for you each and every week? If so, I would politely ask that you head to our website and sign up for our newsletter. As a subscriber, you’ll not only be the first to get all of our content sent directly to you, but you’ll also get our free course; how to make time for what matters most in your life. It’s super easy. Just go to www.successpodcast.com and sign up right on the homepage today. Or if you’re on the go, just text the word SMARTER, that’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R to 44222.

Lastly, if you haven’t already, go ahead and subscribe to the show. And if you really want to go above and beyond for us, leave us a five-star review. This is how others like you can find the show and also help support us so we can continue to put out great content. 

In our last episode, we dug into some incredibly powerful tools that you can use to deal with uncertainty with our guest, Josh Kaufman. I mean, these days, who isn’t dealing with a large level of uncertainty? Am I right? I’d recommend checking out the interview with Josh just as soon as you get done with our interview with Laura. 

Now, Laura Vanderkam is the bestselling author of what the most successful people do before breakfast. I know how she does it. And 168 hours among others. She’s the host of the podcast, The New Corner Office, and Before Breakfast, and the cohost with Sarah Hart-Unger of the podcast Best of Both Worlds. Her 2016 TED Talk, How to Gain Control of Your Free Time, has been viewed more than 10 million times. Several of those views coming from me personally. Her work has appeared on the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, Fast Company, Fortune and other publications, and Laura has also appeared on national television shows such as The Today Show, Fox & Friends, and more. It was great to have a chance to speak with Laura. And without further delay, here is our interview with Laura Vanderkam. 

[00:02:50] AF: Laura, welcome back to the Science of Success. 

[00:02:53] LV: Thank you so much for having me back.

[00:02:55] AF: So, you are a unicorn in our eyes in the sense that you are the first guest to have appeared on the show three times. Congratulations.

[00:03:03] LV: Oh my goodness! So, it’s been a great place to be. I always hear from people every time I’m on. So, I’m glad to have the opportunity. 

[00:03:08] AF: Well, it’s great to hear that. And it’s great to have you on too. I know your first two interviews were with Matt. So I’m really excited to be on the mic this time and dig in. I guess we set off here. I’m a huge time management junkie, and I think that your new book is extremely, extremely relevant. But before we jump in, for listeners who may have subscribed to the Science of Success after your first two interviews, just give us a little bit of a background on you and your journey and how you find yourself where you are today. 

[00:03:33] LV: Yeah. I write books about time management and productivity. I love to study how people who are doing a lot with their time, both professionally and personally allocate their hours, because it turns out that we all have the same 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week. And so when you find people who are doing amazing things, it seems like the rest of us could probably learn from that. That's what I have spent my career studying. 

Up until recently, I was doing a lot of speaking on the topic. That business is kind of dead in the water since March. But in the meantime, I’ve been doing more podcasting. I have a couple of shows. One called Before Breakfast. It’s, quick tip, every weekday morning. Take your day from great to awesome. One called the New Corner Office, which is about how to work from home productively and ambitiously. And that's the subject of this most recent book that we’re talking about. It’s a guide on how the most successful people work from home, and hopefully some tips in there for various people who’d like to make this part of their work life long-term. 

[00:04:34] AF: Yeah, and I can't wait to dig in. I think it’s just so timely and so relevant in the world we find ourselves in right now. For those listening right now, we will link to all of your shows and all of your work in the show notes as well so they can find that either on our website or on the notes in this episode. But before we get in, Laura, how are you doing? I mean, it's a weird time for everybody, right? Are you holding up? Kind of as we record this, we’re right in the thick of people going back to school, not going back to school. There're a lot of tough choices being made. How do you find yourself feeling in this time?

[00:05:04] LV: Well, there has been a lot of family togetherness. That’s how I could put it. I have 5 children, including a baby who was born in late December. And so much of his life now has been spent pretty much just hanging around the house, which had some upsides and some downsides, I guess you could say. We’re hanging in there. We now know that our older children will be starting the school year at least virtually. I am hoping to send my five-year-old to an end-person program, a private program that will be not Zoom, since my experience with him and Zoom is that it’s a good way to have objects thrown across the desk and keyboard shut. We’re adjusting. We’re all figuring it out.

[00:05:49] AF: It’s such a crazy time. I mean, I’ve got a two-year-old, and obviously they don't know it's going on. But it will be weird to kind of look back and what I hope will be some semblance of normalcy and be like, “Yeah! First couple years of your life, no one got near anybody. You didn’t see anybody for a long time.” They’d be like, “What are you talking about, dad?” And you’re like, “Yup. It’s just one of those things that I'll probably talk about and my kid will be like, “Oh! Are those the good old days?” 

[00:06:12] LV: Yeah. I mean, my goal of course has been for my kids to think of this time as more of an adventure than anything else. We shall see in future years if that is how they look back on it and remember it. But I am pretty ready to get things back to normal, and hopefully that will happen before too long. 

[00:06:31] AF: Yeah. Well, hopefully it does happen before too long. But in the meantime, let's go ahead and dig in. So, your latest book, The New Corner Office: How the Most Successful People Work from Home. Super relevant. A lot of people find themselves working from home for the first time. Obviously, you and I have been doing this for a while, but it's jarring, right? It's a big change. How can we help people and help the audience more successfully navigate the new landscape that is their work?

[00:06:57] LV: I think it’s helps for people to realize that working from home is a skill. And like any skill, you’re going to be pretty bad at it at the beginning, but you will get better with time and attention. Any so, in March, when a lot of organizations had to go virtual overnight, they had a ton of really bad Zoom calls. People talking all over each other, and people having the pace of work slow considerably, because they’ve been used to just stopping by somebody's cubicle and asking for something. And now they're scheduling a formal 30-minute Zoom call, which can’t happen until two days from now, because everyone else has Zoom calls on the schedule too. People not knowing when work is supposed to end, because they’re used to a commute being the end of the day. And in the absence of that, how do you know when the day is over? How do you know if you’ve put in an honest day's labor? 

So, a lot of real existential angst in addition to the more obvious problems of having kids at home at the same time in this case, or having other family members around or not even having a workspace set up that is conducive to work. I think people can be forgiven for having had a rough transition. But that said, it doesn't seem like this is going anywhere anytime soon. I mean, I wish I could snap my fingers and change it all overnight. But it does appear that remote work is going to be with us for a while. Half crisis have not. And so we need to figure out ways to work productively and ambitiously from home and to figure out those things that weren't necessarily working so well in March, but could work well long term.

[00:08:25] AF: I read an article featuring you in the Washington Post that was pretty eye-opening, essentially saying we have more time now than ever. There's no more commute, right? There're no social gatherings, or ballet recitals we have to go to. Yet, we’re not really getting anything more done. And I think that ties into your kind of initial worry that a lot of people have, is how do I know I’ve actually done on honest day’s work? Why do you think we’re doing less with more time and how can we kind of avoid that anxiety of, “Oh my gosh! Did I do enough today?” when we don't necessarily have the boss looking over our shoulders. 

[00:08:59] LV: Yeah. Well, I think the title of the Washington Post piece was you have time to write that novel. You just don't want to. And I think there's – Well, that may be a little harsh. I think there's something to this, which is that people have used time as an excuse for a great many things. Like, “Oh, I would love to write that novel if only I had time. I’d love to learn to speak French if only I had time.” Of course, I would take up oil painting again if I didn't have a job and kids and whatever else. 

The truth is we probably don't necessarily want to do these things. I mean, so many came out of the blue and said, “Hey, I’m going to give you $200,000 to write a novel over the next six months.” A lot of people would find the time. They’d find the time to do it. You can acknowledge that it’s not necessarily a priority for you right now, and that is perfectly fine. There are other things that might be a priority for you like keeping your job, keeping your kids from going crazy. Staying saying yourself under quarantine orders, whatever it is. These other things can all be bigger priorities. 

Now if you find that you are excited about doing something, then by all means use some of the time that you would've been commuting to do that. And certainly some people have, but other people haven't, and it's probably okay. I think we can rewrite this pandemic narrative. You might list other things that you have done. So, keeping your job, keeping your household running, those are all exciting things. Maybe you’ve done something else. You didn't write that novel, but you managed to write in a journal once a week about your pandemic experience. We can celebrate that as well. So, it may be helpful to just change your expectations a little bit. 

[00:10:32] AF: So then playing off of that, how do we know when we’ve put in an honest day’s work? Because without that supervision and kind of that normal structure we get in an office or a workspace, it can be a little difficult, because you’ll find yourself sitting at home, you’re in a new place and there's really not any of those guardrails. It can be really difficult and cause – At least for me I know, I get a lot of anxiety when I think I should be doing something I'm not. How can we close the laptop eventually after a day of working at home and actually feel good about the work we've done knowing we've accomplished something?

[00:11:02] LV: Yeah. I people that you need to get in the habit of managing your workdays by task rather than time, because when you commute to an office and you sit there for 8 hours and then you commute home, you feel like you have done something, even if you really haven’t. The sheer fact of moving yourself there and being there for a certain number of hours makes you feel like you have put in an honest day's labor. You've done at least the minimum of what is expected of you. Whereas if you're sitting at your house, that is not clear at all. And so if you're feeling unproductive, you feel really, really unproductive without this guardrails around your time of saying, “Okay. Well, I have at least put in my appearance here.” 

So, measuring your day by task rather than time allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment. It also lets you know when you have put in an honest day's labor and when the day could be done. I suggest that people get in the habit of managing themselves, of managing others by daily task list. Set your weekly priorities. Say, “What would make a challenging but doable week? What sort of goals would we set to have a challenging but doable week?” And then how can we break hose down into daily task list? Maybe 3 to 5 challenging but doable tasks each day around the various appointments people might have. 

And then if you do these day after day, then you will feel like you have put in a good day. You’ve done all five. Great! The day is done. It doesn't really matter what time it is, because you know you've been successful. You know you've done what is expected of you. And this can actually be far more motivational. I know, I personally feel far better about saying, “Hey, look at all the work I got done today,” as supposed to, “Hey, it's 5:00.” 5:00 really tells you nothing. Whereas, making progress toward your goals really does. 

[00:12:42] AF: Yeah, that’s so powerful. I mean, I think that's why, also, a lot of times you can look up and it's 5:00 and still feel like you've got nothing done. But if those priorities are outlined and those tasks are outlined and you've given them the appropriate attention, you might look at the clock and it's noon and you already feel great about the day you’ve had. 

[00:12:58] LV: It’s so t rue. And that doesn't mean that the work day is always going to end at noon. I mean, that would be exciting if it did. But a lot of people, if you do this over and over again and day after day, you become a lot better at estimating how much work fits in about eight hours. And that's fine to aim for that, to say, “Okay, these are the amount of tasks that can fit in that time.” But it's not about the time per se, that these are important tasks and I've chosen enough tasks for today that I think that most likely with other stuff coming up as it always does, I will work about eight hours. But it's not that we are aiming for eight hours as the end in and of itself. 

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[00:15:28] AF: So, how do we go about networking and staying social when we’re working from home? A lot of people really enjoy that time kind of interacting with coworkers, the water cooler time, and even just transparently the time you might get with your boss, right? The face time you might have. The time you have to connect and talk about golf, or HBO, or whatever it might be. How do we make sure that we don't start to feel kind of out of sight, out of mind when it comes to our career goals and also the relationships we have at the workplace?

[00:15:56] LV: Well, this is one of those things that I think long-term will be less of a problem than people feel it is right now, because when we come out of the pandemic, I think that people will work from home a lot more than they have in the past. But I think very few organizations will choose to be 100% virtual. I think a lot of places will come to something of a hybrid solution where people are in the office 2 to 3 days per week and at home 2 to 3 days per week, or in the office one week a month and at home three weeks a month, or something like that. 

And so if that is the case, you can consciously choose to focus the socializing, the collaboration, the building those relationships and showing your face on those days when you are in the office. And I'd argue that that's far more efficient. Like a lot of days that people are in the officer or were in the past, six of those hours you're just emailing and calling people in other places, and two of the hours you are interacting with colleagues, and your boss, and all that. So why not concentrate those two hours that you're interacting on a couple days per week and have the hours where you’re just emailing and calling people in other places all take place on the days when you are at home and don't need to commute anywhere? 

Long term, I don’t think this will be an issue. However, it may be for people right now and they're in 100% virtual situation. And there are a couple of things you can do. I mean, one is to pick up the phone and call people, like you are allowed to do that. You don't need a formal meeting with someone in order to chat. If they can't pick up because they’re doing something, they won’t pick up. It is perfectly reasonable to call someone that you work closely with. I think this is a generational thing. Most of the people I know who grew up with like a phone in their house that didn't have color ID or anything, you had to work through other people to get to the person you wanted to talk to. They’re fine with this. They’re fine with using the phone. It’s more younger people who are like, “Wait, you can do that?” Yes, you can do that. You can call people. 

I do like vide chats. I know it’s fun to talk about Zoom fatigue. Everyone loves to hate on Zoom. But the truth is that seeing somebody's face is really about 75% as good as seeing them in-person, and this is because our brains do not appreciate the difference, because why would they? I mean, the way our brains have evolved, when you can see someone, they must be there. And this is why when somebody has a career in television for the rest of their lives, people are coming up to them in the grocery store and be like, “I know you from somewhere.” It’s like, “No. You don't know me from somewhere. You watch my weather report for 10 years on the local TV news station.” But it feels like you know the person. 

So, you can take advantage of this knowledge and say like, “Have video meetings.” You can read each other's faces a little better. Have a better conversation. Feel like you're seeing people, and start your meetings with a little bit of social time too. The truth is everyone is going to do this anyway. Like, every meeting starts with a little bit of chit chat, a little bit of how are you doing? What's going on? We do this anyway. So it's better to formalize it for a few reasons. 

One is you can facilitate it, and thus have everyone talk. So it's not just two people on the call talking the whole time. Everyone can time-in with an answer to a social question, but also it keeps somebody from being like, “We don't have time for this. We got to get to the business of this meeting right out.” And of course that starts the whole meeting in a negative place. 

So, better account for it. Say, “Okay, we start the meeting with five minutes of social time. Then we did the next thing.” And it just goes a long way toward making people still feel connected. 

[00:19:17] AF: Is five minutes the recommended prescription there? Because I always struggle with that too when I get on. It's like, “Oh! Where are you based? How is the weather there? What’s going on?” And there’s that kind of – I usually wait for like a three-second pause and it's like, “Well, shall we get started?” 

[00:19:31] LV: Now, let’s get to business. Let get started. Well, I think if it’s a one-on-one sort of meeting, it can be more organic, because you are literally just talking with another person. It's okay to talk with another person in the way that you would. Now, if you have six people and you are not sort of all standing at a bar in a way that you can casually get off in like two-person three-person conversations and then all come together again. Then it does need to be more facilitated. 

And I think having sort of one minute for each person who is on the call is a pretty good rule of thumb. So the facilitator can have a question. It doesn't have to be too contrived, but I was just thinking of some of those funny little opening questions that like, “Joe, what something you learned yesterday?” Or, “Mary, what does your family do on Sunday?” Or if you were going to do a trip somewhere, where would it be?” Something that's a little bit more structured, or what’s a podcast you can all recommend? A little bit more structured so that people can all contribute. And it also has the upside of then you hear everyone's voice and turn. And one is the most difficult things of running a meeting is making sure that everyone is being included and having their voices heard. Even the people who are not necessarily inclined to speak up over other people who might dominate the conversation. 

So, facilitating it in that way to get everyone used to hearing everyone's voice goes a long way toward having a better meeting.

[00:20:50] AF: And that was something it took me a while to get used to, because we’ve had team calls where there are 30+ people in line. And at the point, the minute per-person rule, I mean, we would not – 

[00:20:59] LV: No. That doesn’t work. 

[00:20:59] AF: And we followed that pretty closely for a while. And it got to be where it got a little bit too much. But I do think it is important to give everyone kind of their own voice and chance to talk on the call, because at least in a lot of organizations, like certain roles have people inherently that will kind of suck oxygen out of the room and talk just to talk. And other people really don't want to. But since we can't be in the same place, it's really important to kind of say, Hey, Laura. What something you learned yesterday?” Or like you said, “What’s a podcast do you recommend?” “Science of Success.” But you know what I mean. I think it’s important because it makes everyone feel a part of the conversation, which can cut down on some of the side effects of the isolation people might be feeling. 

[00:21:39] LV: I just want to say, there should be very, very few 30-person calls ever. 

[00:21:45] AF: Fair enough. Fair enough. 

[00:21:46] LV: Because, in general, when you’re gathering people, you want to have whatever it is you are gathering them for or lead to a decision that requires everyone who is participating. And there's very few things that require 30 people to decide. So, that limits the number of times you would have that many people on anything. 

[00:22:06] AF: Something you mentioned earlier that I've been trying to work through myself. So, I’ll go ahead and ask it [inaudible 00:22:10]. Optimizing your work space, right? So making sure that your workspace is somewhere you feel like you can get things done. What are, if any, some of things we can do to make sure we’re in a place where we feel productive? Because I think a lot of people miss this fact, right? It seems kind of intuitive when you're in the office. You have your space in your office, your cubicle, and you make it your own, and you make sure it’s somewhere you don't mind being. But at home, I think a lot of people are on the couch with the dog and kids running around and there's really no separation from church and state, right? There's no like home life versus work life. What can we do to make sure we actually take time to build the place where we feel productive, and what does that look like?

[00:22:47] LV: Yeah. This is a challenge for a lot of people, because when they first started working from home pretty much overnight in March, a lot of people just grabbed whatever it was available and said like, “Oh! I need a table and chair. Let me go to my kitchen table.” Well, there are upsides to a kitchen table, but there a lot of downsides too. It’s going to be really hard to shut the door against the rest of the family. For instance, if you're sitting in the kitchen, people in and out all day long. 

A lot of kitchens may not be right near a window, for instance. So, you want to have a workspace that is at least reasonably private and quiet. And so that's going to require, ideally, a door that you can shot or at least some sort of privacy around it. Definitely near a window. For a lot of people, needing a door and window, means they're going to be in a bedroom, which some people have a bit of a hang up about. Like you said, the separation of church and state. Wait, I can definitely leave my office then if I’m in my bedroom.” But you can put some sort of screen around it or something to make or not have it face your bed. But having the natural light and a door so important that I would go for it. I would get over that if that's the only place in your house that has it. 

I would also say that if you’re staring down doing this long term, it might be worth looking into moving. I mean, you can go find a place that has the availability for a real dedicated home office. I know my husband and I both have our home office setups right now. Fortunately, he used his for the occasional Friday working from home set up. And then was now been in there full time since March. And we’re really glad we have it. I mean, it would be so hard to be trying to use the same room. Before he had that set up, he would sometimes on Fridays work in this office where I am, and it was just not good. And if we are trying to do that since March, I think we would be driving each other crazy.

[00:24:31] AF: So, flipping the coin a little bit from your kind of external to your internal, and I'm curious as to your personal practices. How do you optimize your health and your well-being when working from home? Because a lot of times even for me, and I've been working from home for several years, but I’ll sit down and all of a sudden I haven’t stood up in like six hours, right? It’s just you get in the zone. But what have you done throughout the years to really make sure you prioritize your well-being during these extended periods of working from home?

[00:24:59] LV: Yeah. There are a lot of things you can do. And sure, people who work from home do not automatically do them. But if you make wise choices, you certainly can have healthier habits than you would working in an office. I mean, partly because commutes take an incredible amount of time, and they take the time that people might have to do these healthy habits. For instance, there's are some evidence that long commutes are negatively associated with physical activity, which makes total sense. When do people exercise? Well, like 7:30 in the morning, 6:00 at night. When are they on the road for work? 7:30 in the morning, 6:00 at night. It's switching that time that you would have had. So people can exercise more. They can maybe sleep more if you don't have to get up so early to get in the car or get on the train to go to work. You might be able to get a little bit more sleep. You might be able to cook healthier meals. You’re not having this commute that’s taking the time that you could have made yourself dinner. You are probably going to go out to eat for lunch less often just because it’s a little bit more of a pain to do so, and your fridge is right there. So you make yourself your lunches. 

And just by cooking at home, people tend to use less salt and fat and other such things in their home cooked dishes versus restaurant ones. There are lots of ways that you can be set up to make healthier choices. Now, does everyone do that? Of course not. There are plenty of people who just go sit at the desk and don't get up for hours. Or who’s like, “Oh! If I don't have a commute, I can stay up twice as late now and watch movies.” Or order the pizza for every meal or something. But you can make healthier choices if you want to. The space becomes more available for that.

[00:26:29] AF: What’s you go-to?

[00:26:31] LV: Well. So, I like to run. I try to do it most days when it's really hot in summer as it is now. I tend to do it before the workday or in the evening, but during the rest of the year, I try to do it in the afternoon, which is when I tend to need a break. So somewhere around midafternoon, I start to feel a little bit like, “Ugh, I’m not getting anything done.” That’s a good sign that I need to stop for a while, go for a run, and I will come back far more energized. 

I almost always eat leftovers for lunch, which is a good habit to be in, I think, because my dinner at night probably had vegetables. So then my lunch has vegetables, and like right there. I'm eating more vegetables. Versus if I was just out grabbing a sandwich or something like that. So that’s what I try to do.

[00:27:13] AF: I’m on the exact same boat. I've been recently trying to get up really, really early and tackle some of the email and everything. But I’ll get up, kind of drink coffee, check email, which I know checking email first thing in the morning can be a recipe for a bad rest of your day, depending what's in the inbox. But I'm the same way. How far do you typically run?

[00:27:29] LV: Usually just about 3 miles. It’s got to be a short thing if it's during the work day. You can fit a half hour workout in. It's a lot harder to do an hour or longer. But 30 minutes is all you really need. It kind of undoes a lot of the sitting that happens the rest of the day. 

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[00:29:15] AF: I'm curious too. So, the book is so timely. I have to ask, was this something you were working on before March and before all this came out? Or is this something that kind of was a product of the world we found ourselves in?

[00:29:26] LV: This was a total product of the world we found ourselves in. So, in March, when all of this was happening, I was still doing my before breakfast podcast and the folks that iHeartMedia noted that there was some interest in a podcast on working from home. And so we decided to launch a new one that had the same format of a short daily tip to help people through their day. That would be focused on working from home. And so that launched on April 1st and realized that there is a lot of material there. 

And so my agent and publisher and I decided, “Well, we could do a book on this topic.” And I had some space to do this as part of a quick career pivot, because for the past few years, I've spent a lot of my time giving speeches at various conferences and corporate events. And guess what stopped happening in mid-March and will not happen for – I don’t know. Two years at this point. Nobody wants to go sit in a convention center with 3,000 of their closest friends right now, and won’t for a while. So that business is pretty much gone. I was looking for something to replace it. So, a new podcast and a new book was one thing I could do. 

[00:30:36] AF: How long did it take to write the book? And did a lot of the bones of the book kind of come from the podcast and the lessons learned there? Because, I mean, it’s only a couple of months. Sometimes you talk to people in writing a book can take years and years. I guess, even based in the beginning of this conversation, you might have had a little more time. But how long did it take? And did a lot of that kind of come from your previous work? Or was that really just lessons learned on the fly?

[00:31:01] LV: Well, I’ve been working from home for years. And, of course, I’ve been writing about careers and workplace habits for years. So, some of the material was stuff that I could recount from past writings. And some stuff that came from the podcast too. And then I interviewed a lot of people who had been working from home before March about what they were doing and you could put that in there too. So the actual writing itself, I think I took about five weeks maybe to write it, because even though it came out in July in order to meet that, we had to basically have it in production by late May. So, if I started in April and have to edit it at the end. Yeah, writing itself was about five weeks. The editing, another week or so. Yeah, it went pretty fast.

[00:31:43] AF: Wow! I'm curious too, kind of zooming out into time management in general. As a time management expert yourself, what is your daily calendar look like? And if you could even provide me a screenshot for the show notes, I’d love that. Because I’m a super nerve when it comes to like I've got 4:45 wake up. I've got for 4:45 to 5:00 coffee. I've got 5:00 to 5:30 email. 5:30 to 6:30, run. I'm just curious, are you that regimented? Or is there kind of a sort of secret formula that you go by for yourself?

[00:32:12] LV: No. I am not that regimented. Partly it’s personality. Also, partly, at my kids are young enough that some of my schedule has to be reactive to them, right? I don't know what time my baby is going to wake up. So, it's pretty hard to determine the start of the day around that. Some days are more structured than others, because I have more things that have to happen at set times. Like today, I had a lot of podcast interviews. And so it's been a lot more structured today than it would have been yesterday where I had fewer of them. And so I was trying to get more of my writing projects done. And so I generally knew over the course of the day, I had to write a certain number of things, and that's what I would do. 

I set short daily to do list and say, “These are the things I have to get done. These are my appointments at various times.” And the goal is always to get everything crossed off by the end of the day. But, yeah, I generally wake up somewhere in the 6 o'clock range, 6 to 7 depending on how the night has gone. Some mornings I run at 7:00, like I’ve been trying to do when it’s been hot out. But some days I don’t. Hang out with the kids. 

I generally start work somewhere between 8:00 and 8:30. That's when my family has childcare. We've had a babysitter Monday through Thursday this summer. And then my husband and I split coverage on Fridays. So, starting the work day between 8:00 and 8:30. Generally, work more or less through the day with a break for lunch, break for dealing with the baby sometimes. Till about 4:00. Then, if it's a nice day, go for a swim with the kids, or eat dinner around 6:00 usually and then hangout as we've been doing for a lot of these many months.

[00:33:44] AF: Yeah, of course. So, what's the one thing you think most people get wrong when it comes to managing their own time?

[00:33:51] LV: I think that it is so easy to be mindless about time, and that is because time keeps passing whether you think about how you are spending it or not. And so, because of that, you could waste it on things that you didn't intend to waste time on. People always ask me, “Well, what are the biggest time wasters?” I don’t know if I’m supposed to say like social media, email, meetings. I don't know. I mean, all these things, sure. 

[00:34:14] AF: All the above. 

[00:34:15] LV: All of the above. They do waste time. But I think the biggest wastes are not thinking about how we’d like to spend our time. So for many people who are so busy with, say, work and kids. They get the kids down for bed. Let’s say it’s 8:00 at night. they're not going to go to bed till 10:30, but they haven't thought about what they might like to do with this restricted, but still leisure time option. And so you do whatever is easiest, which is scroll around online, or watch TV. And next thing you know you’ve spent like 90 minutes on Twitter. It’s like, “Well, did we really want to spend 90 minutes of a busy day? Like our limited leisure time on Twitter?” Or maybe was there something that could've been more restorative? Like having a glass of wine on the porch with your partner? Or taking a bubble bath and reading a magazine? All of these could've occupied that same time and probably felt more leisurely. 

But because you didn't think about that's what you wanted to do, you missed the opportunity to do it. Or not thinking about what you’d like to do on the weekend. And then by the time you’ve made a decision and gone through all that rigmarole, it’s like midway through Saturday and your field of what you can do is artificially limited, because it’s already 3:00 or something like that, or you’ve wasted a lot of energy deciding as supposed to be able to get up and go and do whatever it is you wanted to do. So, by not thinking about time, we waste time. And so the key to that is to think about what you’d like to spend time doing and make sure that those things get into your life.

[00:35:37] AF: That’s such an important point you just made. I can't emphasize that that's really great advice enough, because it's something I've been personally thinking about a lot. Part of it I think is just time here on earth. Obviously, we all have a lot more time. So we’re kind of more stationary. But time is something you can never get back. And it's almost shameful that so many people are just mindless about time, because you're never going to get that second back. And I think as someone who honestly knows way, way too much about World War II and all these things that like fall in these Wikipedia holes for and how H.P. Lovecraft predicted 15 things on YouTube that I could have never seen. I just think it's so important to reemphasize that being mindful of time can almost be a superpower, because you're never going to get it back, and you need to spend it doing the things that you intentionally want to do and accomplish versus spending 90 minutes on Twitter reading about politics or whoever might be ranting that day. 

[00:36:33] LV: Yeah. I mean, if that's what you want to do, great. Then do it mindfully and said, “This is what I am choosing to spend my next 90 minutes on, as supposed to doing it because you haven't thought about anything else that might take a slight bit more of effort. And I don’t anybody listening to this to think like, “Oh, I have to be productive with a capital P or in scare quotes every minute of the day.” I think it’s perfectly fine to have downtime. I just want people to have it be consciously chosen downtime, because when people don't think about what they want their downtime to be, they sort of assume it doesn't exist. There are people who are spending 90 minutes on Twitter who will insist that I have no free time whatsoever. That’s their mindset about their lives. Clearly, you do, and it would be so much more fun and meaningful to spend it on something else. But by telling yourself the story that you have no time whatsoever, you make these effortless choices. So, yeah, I encourage people to really get a sense of where the time goes. I track my time. I encourage anyone else to try it for a week just to see where the hours go. And once you have that data, then you can make decisions. You can decide what you like. You can decide what you don't like. You never have to do it again. But when you know, then you can be a little bit less mindless about it.

[00:37:45] AF: Yeah. Super important clarification you made thereto. There's nothing wrong with being on Twitter in downtime. Just make sure it's what you want to be doing.

[00:37:52] LV: Oh, exactly. Yeah.

[00:37:54] AF: So, you've been very generous with your time. We’re getting ready to come up on the end here, but I do want to ask just a couple of quick questions and then let people know where they can find more. I'm curious, so we all are obviously spending a little more time, and I am trying to be more mindful with things. But I'm curious, what's your favorite movie? I'm trying to come up with a list of recommendations and things that I can do while we are home. Me and my wife love to sit down and watch Netflix every now and again. Do you got any recommendations for us and the audience?

[00:38:22] LV: Oh my goodness. I'm really just not that big a movie person. 

[00:38:25] AF: Oh, come on!

[00:38:26] LV: I don't think I have anything good. I haven't really sat down and watched a movie in a really, really long time. And it's just something I've never found to be my thing. So, does that sound terrible?

[00:38:41] AF: No. I mean, actually that's probably a good thing. But I know you are busier than most. So, let me pivot that then. So if you're not going to recommend a movie, why don’t you recommend a piece of homework for our audience? If there's one thing our audience can do this week to start being more mindful of their time, to really take some of these lessons from working from home and how they can be successful working from home, what's one piece of homework you’d give us to act on over the next seven days?

[00:39:06] LV: Well, I’d encourage people to come up with some form of what I’d call effortful fun. So what is one thing that takes a little bit of effort that you would find genuinely fun? And challenge yourself to do that first before you scroll around on social media or turn on the TV or whatever. And I’m not saying you’d have to spend all night doing it. But let’s just say 20 minutes. Challenge yourself to read for 20 minutes before you turn on the TV, or to do a puzzle for 20 minutes before you turn on the TV or work on your sketches or crossword puzzles or whatever it is you want to do for 20 minutes before you go into the effortless fun. 

And just doing this, you will, A, make space for both. The problem is when we start with the effortless fun, you never get to the effortful fun, because it seems like a lot of work to turn off the TV and then go find your oil paintings or whatever it is. But if you start with the hobby, the connecting with friends, the exercise or the puzzles or games, you’ll get to both, and that can make you feel like you have a lot more balance of leisure time and a lot more fulfilling leisure time too. 

[00:40:11] AF: Yeah, that’s great homework. Laura, thank you again so much for coming on the show. Maybe we’ll go for a 4P here down the road. You just never know what's down the road for us. But I do want to let people know where they can find you. So what's the best place for them to go learn more, check out all the podcasts? Of course, we’ll include all those links in the show notes. But for those that might be listening now in the car or exercising or wherever they may be, where can they find more about you and your work?

[00:40:34] LV: You can come visit me at lauravanderkam.com. That's just my name again. You can go to website. You can find information about my various podcasts and books about the new corner office for N-cents. And I blog there as well. So I’d love to connect with people in the comments.

[00:40:48] AF: Well, Laura, thank you again so much for the time. We hope you have a great rest of your day, and thanks for sharing your wisdom with us and our audience. 

[00:40:55] LV: Thanks so much for having me.

[00:40:57] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener email.

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September 10, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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(B) Whole Foods CEO John Mackey on Conscious Capitalism, Leadership and Win-Win-Win Thinking

September 08, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this episode, we discuss conscious capitalism, transformational leadership lessons, and how to use win-win-win thinking to create breakthroughs in your business with Whole Foods co-founder and CEO John Mackey. 

John Mackey is the CEO and co-founder of Whole Foods Market, co-founder of the nonprofit Conscious Capitalism, Inc., and co-author of the best selling Conscious Capitalism. Under his leadership, Whole Foods has grown to be a $13 billion Fortune 500 company. John’s skills as a CEO have been recognized by publications like Ernst&Young, Barron, Fortune, and many more! He has recently co-authored another conscious business book, Conscious Leadership: Elevating Humanity Through Business.

  • Business is a fundamental social good. Capitalism is the greatest creator of value in the history of humanity. 

  • 250 years ago 85% of the people on planet earth lived on less than $1 a day, 94% lived on less than $2 a day.

  • Business creates value for customers, it creates value for employees, and it's a social good. 

  • “Business creates more value than all governments and all nonprofits combined."

  • “Business is good and we can make it better.” 

  • What do people misunderstand and get wrong about capitalism? 

  • Business is NOT a winner take all game. And yet there is a deeply set belief in most people’s consciousness that if someone is getting rich, someone else is getting poor. 

  • Business is inherently a “win-win-win” game - NOT a zero-sum game. 

  • You don’t have to manage your business in terms of tradeoffs, think about the lateral shift of simultaneously creating value for ALL your stakeholders.. come up with strategies where they can ALL simultaneously win. 

  • How do I make sure everyone wins, instead of thinking of interactions as zero-sum. 

  • We need conscious leaders everywhere.. business, education, politics, etc. 

  • The GDP per capita has grown 50x in the last 200 years. 

  • Capitalism will never be perfect because people will never be perfect. 

  • “A lot of my best ideas come to me when I wake up"

  • Inside baseball into Amazon's Whole Foods merger. 

  • The power and importance of long term thinking in making business decisions

  • Care enough about your people to invest in them and get them to stick around.

  • The secrets Whole Foods used to build a great culture

    • Purpose - is your purpose an attractor? Does it draw people into your culture that are attracted to your purpose? 

    • Core Values - Connect each of the stakeholders to a core value that ties into the purpose 

    • Leadership Principles

      • Whole Foods Leadership Principles 

  • Leadership principles are like the scaffolding that you want to build your business around. 

  • Empowerment and the notion that “it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission” 

  • Your culture extends out from your leadership principles. 

  • Team member growth and happiness are the CORE VALUES of the company. 

  • Cultures tend to perpetuate themselves, and they repel people who don’t fit the culture.

  • The CULTURE you incubate with transforms milk into yogurt.. make your starting culture in your store the RIGHT people. 

  • If you’re the LEADER you MUST embody the culture. People pay a lot more attention to how you act than by what you say. If you don’t embody the culture, people will see you as a hypocrite. The leader must BE the culture. 

  • That’s true of all the leaders. 

  • Cultures are living, they don’t stay the same, they evolve over time. 

    • What’s changing that we don’t want to change

    • What is not changing that we want to change

  • Curating a culture is like a Gardner.. pluck the weeds and nourish the right seeds.

  • Most people take their culture for granted, it’s one of the most important assets or one of your biggest liabilities.

  • Be conscious about your culture, be aware of where it might be deteriorating. 

  • "Constantly evolve your team" 

  • “Recycling” employees instead of firing them. 

  • Coaching and mentorship have been tremendously impactful for John and he’s a big believer in them. 

  • John “fired his own father” from being his business mentor. 

  • As a leader, you have to continuously learn and grow. A company can’t grow beyond the leader, the leader either holds the company down or lifts the company to a new level. 

  • “I’ve held Whole Foods back many times from its highest and best potential."

  • How John navigated the difficult dynamic of growing Whole Foods past his father’s limitations. 

  • The importance of getting together with your peers. 

  • Homework: If you don’t know your purpose as a human and as a leader, you need to find THAT. Until you find that purpose for yourself and your organization you will ALWAYS sub-optimize. Once you align your life mission with your business you will unleash so much energy and creativity you will blow your mind. 

  • Homework: Think in a win-win-win instead of zero-sum. Figure out how EVERYONE you interact with can win.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • John’s Website and Wiki Article

  • John’s LinkedIn

Media

  • SWAAY - “Why Conscious Capitalism Is The Future” by Charlotte Chipperfield

  • CNBC Make It - “Whole Foods CEO on life with Amazon: ‘It’s like a marriage – I love them 98% of time’ by Jade Scipioni

  • Entrepreneur - “How Whole Foods CEO John Mackey Is Leading a Revolution in Health and Business” by Jon Schumacher

  • Business Insider - “A leaked Whole Foods memo from CEO John Mackey reveals some of employees' biggest concerns from a survey with 68,000 responses” by Hayley Peterson

  • Bon Appetit - 'We Were Just a Bunch of Young Hippies Selling Food to Other Hippies' By Ali Francis

  • Reason - “John Mackey and Conscious Capitalism Have Won the Battle of Ideas With Everyone but Libertarians” by Nick Gillespie

  • Observer - “Whole Foods CEO John Mackey Says Meatless Meat Isn’t Very Healthy” By Gabriela Barkho

  • INC. - “John Mackey: 4 Decisions That Built Whole Foods” by David Whitford

  • Fortune - “John Mackey: The conscious capitalist” by Beth Kowitt (2015)

  • The New Yorker - “Food Fighter: Does Whole Foods’ C.E.O. know what’s best for you?”By Nick Paumgarten (2010)

  • [Podcast] My Food Job Rocks! - EP. 155 [PODCAST SHOWCASE SERIES] – Business for Good Interviews John Mackey, CEO and CoFounder of Whole Foods

Videos

  • CNBC - How The Amazon-Whole Foods Deal Changed The Grocery Industry

  • Big Think - Whole Foods CEO John Mackey on ending poverty, being libertarian, and more (full video)

  • Talks at Google - John Mackey: "The Whole Foods Diet" | Talks at Google

    • John Mackey: "Conscious Capitalism" | Talks at Google

  • Darden MBA - Living a Life of Conscious Leadership: John Mackey, Whole Foods Market

  • Reason TV - Whole Foods' John Mackey: Why Intellectuals Hate Capitalism

  • TEDMED - John Mackey at TEDMED 2010

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • Conscious Leadership: Elevating Humanity Through Business Sep 15, 2020 by John Mackey, Steve Mcintosh, and Carter Phipps

  • The Whole Foods Diet: The Lifesaving Plan for Health and Longevity  by John Mackey, Alona Pulde, and Matthew Lederman

  • Conscious Capitalism: Liberating the Heroic Spirit of Business by John Mackey, Rajendra Sisodia, and Bill George

  • Be the Solution: How Entrepreneurs and Conscious Capitalists Can Solve All the World's Problems by Michael Strong and John Mackey

  • Letters Arising Out Of A Correspondence Between ... John Mackey ... And ... H. Woodward, Which Appeared In The Clonmel Newspapers by John Mackey

  • [Audiobook] Passion and Purpose: John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods Market, on the Power of Conscious Capitalism® by John Mackey/Sounds True

Misc

  • [Book] The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: A New Paradigm for Sustainable Success by Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, and Kaley Klemp

  • [Mission Statement] Whole Foods - Our Leadership Principles

September 08, 2020 /Lace Gilger

Powerful Tools For Dealing With Uncertainty with Josh Kaufman

September 03, 2020 by Lace Gilger

In this episode, we share powerful strategies for dealing with uncertainty, some of the most important tools for making better decisions, how to get more flexibility in your life, and much more with our returning guest Josh Kaufman.

Josh is a researcher and author of three bestselling books: "The Personal MBA", "The First 20 Hours", and most recently "How to Fight a Hydra: Face Your Fears, Pursue Your Ambitions, and Become the Hero You Are Destined to Be." Josh has been featured as the #1 bestselling author in Business & Money, as ranked by Amazon.com, and his website JoshKaufman.net was named one of the "Top 100 Websites for Entrepreneurs" by Forbes. His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Time, Wired, and much much more!

  • The future is inherently uncertain, yet people cling to models and data in the hope that it will make reality more understandable… how can we learn to THINK so that we are inherently prepared for an unpredictable and uncertain future/world?

  • Uncertainty is an ever-present fundamental part of life

  • Most people have a problematic relationship with uncertainty 

  • Instead of trying to ignore uncertainty or will it away, you can plan for it more effectively 

  • How do we more effectively deal with uncertainty? 

  • How do you handle uncertainty when making big, tough, life decisions?

  • Think of decisions in terms of permanence and impact 

  • If you wait until you have enough information to make a decision, you’ve often waited too long 

  • A lot of good decision making comes down to paying attention and gathering information, but then you to be willing to stop gathering information and take action

  • Information gathering has diminishing returns as well. 

  • “The optimal stopping problem” - when do you decide to stop and that you have enough information?

  • Exploration vs Exploitation - when should you explore vs when should you do? You always want to have some exploration component

  • “Pick the thing, do the thing, be the best in the world at the thing”

    • It’s what David Epstein called a “sampling period” in the book Range

  • "The three universal currencies"

    • Resources

    • Time

    • Flexibility 

  • Flexibility is your ability to choose what happens next. 

  • How do you increase the amount of flexibility in your life?

  • The difference between HAVING FLEXIBILITY and BEING FLEXIBLE 

  • Would you rather be a tiger or a turtle? 

  • Tigers are the actual king of the jungle.. since lions don’t live in a jungle... 

  • Being able to be resilient, to be able to operate in a wide variety of situations 

  • How do you think about systems? And why is it important to understand systems?

  • Thinking in systems helps you improve all kinds of things in your life in a reliable, repeatable, improvable way. 

  • The 5 Core Components Needed to Understand ANY Business

    • Value Creation

    • Value Delivery 

    • Marketing

    • Sales

    • Finance

  • How do you unravel thorny systems?

  • "Thinking by the clock"

  • How do you make decisions in really complex situations?

  • “Normal accidents” are a part of every system. You have to plan for things breaking down, not working, and not going right. 

  • When you try to intervene to prevent a bad thing, how do you do that without decreasing flexibility and resilience

  • The concept of “intervention bias” - it is more comfortable to do something than it is to do nothing. Sometimes the best thing to do is not to over-react, or not to do anything.

  • The idea of “Fraud Budgets” and how banks use them to handle normal accidents. 

  • Homework: Set aside 15 minutes of “Thinking by the Clock Time.” Write down something you’re thinking about, a decision you're struggling with, or a problem you’re dealing with. Think through all the systematic components around this decision for the full 15 minutes. 

    • What are the things you could do or try that would help you make a better decision?

    • What are some of the things in your environment, job, career, market, industry, etc that have an impact or effect on this, that might be contributing to your decision? 

    • Think through the chain of causality to try and find a new insight

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The personal development world is full of bad information. We got sick and tired of this, so we hired a team of researchers to dig through a huge treasure trove of scientific data and figure out what the science is really saying, free of bias, hype, and self promotion.

Our research team combed through thousands of studies to figure out exactly what the science says about popular personal development topics. Learn what works, what doesn’t, and exactly how you can use things like meditation, journaling, breathing, and so much more to achieve your goals.

With this tool, you can finally find and implement the self help and personal development methods that will create the biggest positives results in your life. And this time, you will have science on your side.

Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Josh’s Website and Wiki Page

  • Josh’s Twitter and Facebook

Media

  • Indiehackers - “I'm Josh Kaufman, author of three bestselling books on business, skill acquisition, and applied psychology. Ask me anything!”

  • Doughroller - “Don't Waste Money On That Degree--Get a Personal MBA” by Chris Mamula

  • Quora Profile - Josh Kaufman

  • Ozan Varol - This week’s guest on Famous Failures is Josh Kaufman

  • [Podcast] MAKING A CLUB CHAMPION PODCAST - Ep 22: Josh Kaufman - Learn New Skills, Overcome Uncertainty, and Conquer Your Fears

  • [Podcast] MetaLearning - ML124: Josh Kaufman on Mastering Complex Projects and The Differences between Fiction and Non-Fiction for Promoting Behaviour Change

Videos

  • Sophia Colombo - Top 5 Productivity Hacks From The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman | Animated Book Review

  • Always Improving - The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman | Animated Book Summary

  • Goalcast - How To Speed Learn in 5 Simple Steps | Josh Kaufman | Goalcast

  • BestBookBits - Book Summary of The Personal MBA | Author Josh Kaufman

Books

  • How to Fight a Hydra: Face Your Fears, Pursue Your Ambitions, and Become the Hero You Are Destined to Be  by Josh Kaufman

  • The Personal MBA 10th Anniversary Edition By Josh Kaufman

  • Audible - Audiobook Directory - Josh Kaufman

  • The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything . . . Fast!  By Josh Kaufman

  • The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business by Josh Kaufman

  • Worldly Wisdom: Collected Quotations and Aphorisms  by Josh Kaufman and Carlos Miceli

Misc

  • [Book] Algorithms to Live By: The Computer Science of Human Decisions by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths

  • [SoS Episode] Use These Powerful Thinking Tools To Solve Your Hardest Problems with David Epstein

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:19] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet with more than 5 million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. In this episode, we share powerful strategies for dealing with uncertainty. Some of the most important tools for making better decisions, how to get flexibility in your life, and much more with our returning guest, Josh Kaufman. 

Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our email list. We have some amazing content on there along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time For What Matters Most in Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com, you can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com. Or if you’re on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word SMARTER to the number 44222.

In our previous episode, we discussed how to love yourself and focus on effort, not outcomes, with returning guest, Kamal Ravikant. Now, for our interview with Josh. 

[00:01:37] MB: Josh Kaufman is a researcher and author of three bestselling books; The Personal MBA, The First 20 Hours, and most recently, How to Fight a Hydra: Face Your Fears, Pursue Ambitions, and Become the Hero You Are Destined to Be. 

Josh has featured as the number one bestselling author in business and money as ranked by Amazon.com, and his website joshkaufman.net was named one of the top 100 websites for entrepreneurs by Forbes. His work has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Time and many more media outlets. 

Josh, welcome back to the Science of Success. 

[00:02:12] JK: Thanks, Matt. It’s great to be here once again. 

[00:02:15] MB: Well, I’m really excited to have you on. As I mentioned in our previous interview as well. I mean, Personal MBA is one of my all-time favorite books, and I have an insane amount of underlines and highlights and it’s 10-years-old at this point. So it’s fallen apart.

[00:02:28] JK: It has. It’s been out for 10 years. And yeah, the binding or the spine only lasts so long. So high time for you to get a new edition.

[00:02:36] MB: That’s right. That’s right. Well, it’s funny, I was rereading my old yellow-paged copy, and one of the things that really jumped out of me that you talk about a ton, and now more than ever is so relevant, was this notion that uncertainty is an inherent part of reality. And there’s such an easy temptation either in the business world to cling to things like models and data and forecasts to try and take that uncertainty out of reality or even in our everyday lives to struggle through and face so much uncertainty when we’re trying to make big tough life choices. I thought your discussion about in the book was really, really important. And you threated it throughout a number of different elements in the book. So I really just wanted to hear your thoughts around uncertainty and how we should really interact with it. 

[00:03:27] JK: Sure. What a good year to talk about uncertainty. I don’t know anyone who in their 2020 things to do plan has respond to global pandemic on their to do list, right? The fundamental nature of reality is that things that affect us, what we want to do, how we go about our lives, how we organize our time and energy and attention. A lot of the things that are going to impact how you actually do that are factors of the outside world that you both don’t know and sometimes can’t anticipate in advance and you can’t control.

So, I think anyone on the face of the earth would say, “Okay, pandemic, let’s stop right now. I have things to do.” If we had wishes from a genie, and I think pretty much everyone would use one of those to get rid of this, but we can't. And so uncertainty, just knowing that that is an ever-present fundamental part of life, it's something that's always going to be there. It's something you're always going to have to deal with. That is a very useful organizing concept for your mind. So instead of fighting it, instead of trying to find some situation where you know exactly what's going to happen, you know exactly what you're going to, you know exactly how you're going to respond. Just knowing that uncertainty is present and a factor in everything helps you make better decisions, because instead of trying to ignore it or will it away, you can plan for it. You can change the way that you go about your daily life or organize the structure of your business in order to account for a certain amount of uncertainty. The plans that you make when you account for uncertainty will be completely different. That the plans that you make hoping that something unexpected is not going to get in the way. 

[00:05:24] MB: And what would be an example of how to start accounting for uncertainty? How to start transforming your thinking to understand the fact that uncertainty is an inherent component of reality? 

[00:05:37] JK: Yeah. I think let's do a personal one, and then a business analog. If you read very much personal finance, you'll find the idea of an emergency fund coming up over and over again, right? So you should have a reserve that is set aside for what if you lose your job? What if you get sick? What if you're on disability? What if you get in a car accident and all of a sudden you have to pay for a vehicle or replace something? All of the things that could come up in the course of your personal financial life, having a stock of cash, having a buffer set aside in advance of those things. So you don't exactly know what you're going to use it on. You hope that you’ll never use it. But having something set aside in advance makes those inevitable bumps a lot easier to deal with. 

The same goes on the business planning side. I have what I call a strategic reserve, which is kind of a broader sense of an emergency fund, but it also covers opportunities. So what if you in the course of business find a potentially really good way to market your business but you would need to have some funds set aside in order to do that? That's what the strategic reserve is for. The same thing goes for things like lines of credit. You can open up lines of credit and not use them. Just have them sitting, waiting to be used when the situation is right. 

And so it just planning with that in mind and making sure that you have some built-in inflexibility in both your personal decisions and your business decisions makes these inevitable bumps, and sometimes they're very big bumps, much, much easier to handle. 

[00:07:22] MB: There's two things I want to break down from that. One, I want to dig more into flexibility. But before we jump into that, the other component of this is there is also a piece of decision-making that involves a comfort with uncertainty that is really, really important. And probably the biggest question I get from listeners on the Science of Success is some variation or some form of, “Hey, I have this big life choice I want to make,” whether it's starting a company, or writing a book, or quitting your job, or finding the person you love, or whatever it is, and I don't know how to make that decision. 

And to me, when I really break it down, it comes back to you have to get comfortable acting under conditions of uncertainty. You have to be able to handle an outcome where you won't know necessarily for certain the way things are going to go. And when I look at people who are really successful, those people almost always have the ability to take action in the face of uncertainty. Whereas when I look at people who are stuck, a lot of times they’re stuck because they don't know what to do because they don't know how to handle uncertainty. 

[00:08:31] JK: Yeah. I think a lot of that goes down to for the decision or the situation. How permanent is this? So, you can think of decisions in terms of permanence and impact. So, is this a very important decision that is going to change a lot of things where that a lot of other subsequent things rely on? Or is this something that is more in the experimental category? Could you try something and see what happens? It's much easier to be experimental with things that the impact is relatively low and they’re relatively impermanent, right? So this is where the whole idea of exploration and exploitation comes from. 

So, for a lot of decisions – And pretty much all of learning falls into this category. You can just try a bunch of different things, gather information, do something and see if it works. And if it works, we you keep doing it. And if it doesn't work, you stop doing that and you start doing something else. 

So, some of the learning or skill acquisition or trying to figure out what the best approach is on the strategy side, those are the things that you can be more experimental and worry a little bit less about not getting it right the first time. There are some decisions that have huge impacts and somewhat permanent impacts. I think it was, if I remember correctly, Charlie Monger, who said one of the most important decisions that you make in your life is the choice of a long-term relationship, or a spouse. There are a lot of really negative things that can happen long-term if you do not choose wisely in that regard.

And so there are a lot of decisions in that particular category where it really make sense to take a step back, understand that, yeah, this is this is a big decision. This is a decision that is permanent or semi-permanent, and really think through, look at options and try to build as much information and data gathering into the process before you make that decision. Then gathering process after the decision has already been made, if that makes sense. 

It's one of those things that a certain amount of flexibility in approach, and this has to do with your personal flexibility in terms of what you're willing to do an experiment with and how you gather information. But also, your flexibility in terms of looking at options, collecting information, doing all the things that you can do so when you make that permanent decision, it is as likely as possible or as likely without perfect knowledge as you can make it. Does that make sense?

[00:11:20] MB: Yeah. That definitely make sense. And it makes me think of another thing you talk about it in the book, which is this notion of making a decision. And I think the quote originally was from Colin Powell, but a lot of people have said something similar to this, which is if you wait to make a decision until you have 100% of the information you want, you've waited too long to make that decision. 

[00:11:39] JK: That's where the decision-making is an art, right? Because there's no personal heads-up display that tells you, “You have collected 80% of the information that you need to make this decision.” You're doing this by intuition and feel a lot of the time, which depending on your personal comfort with both risk and analysis can be very uncomfortable at certain times, right? 

I think it's one of those things that there are – If you pay attention. And I think a lot of good decision-making comes down to paying attention to the information that is in your environment and the types of information that you could gather with a little bit of effort or with a little bit of work. Going through and gathering that information is valuable and worthwhile. Spending some time and energy, collecting things that will help you or inform you and what you're trying to do, always a good use of time. And at a certain point, information has diminishing returns too. 

There's actually a famous problem. There's a great book called Algorithms to Live By, which talks about the intersection of some concepts in computer science with day-to-day life. One of the problems that they talk about is what's called the optimal stopping problem. When you're going through and gathering information, at what point do you decide, “All right. I have enough and I don't need to collect information now. I need to act.” Because collecting information forever is called a different thing. That's procrastination. 

The optimal stopping problem is always you collect up to a certain point, and then based on that data or information, you jump and you make the best decision that you can at that point. And the other algorithm that is firmly in this camp is exploration and exploitation. So you explore for a while. You gather information. And then at a certain point, as you gather information, you're going to get a direction of the thing that looks like it's going to be the best for you, whatever that happens to be in the circumstances.

And so you spend less time exploring and you spend more time doing the thing that you think is best for you at that time. But the difference is that there's always an exploration component involved. You're always out collecting additional information, because what you're doing right now may not be the optimal strategy. There may be something better, different for you. 

It's interesting holding those two ways of seeing the world in mind. Like there are some situations that require a single yes or no, go, no go, sort of decision. And there are some things that you can do something that works for you for a period of time, but then you're also always looking at the environment and looking for opportunities to make what you're doing just a little bit better. 

[00:14:33] MB: I want to dig into. To tell me a little bit more about – You’ve touched on earlier as well. This idea of exploration versus exploitation and how do you think about striking the right balance between those two things. 

[00:14:46] JK: Yeah. Let's make this a little bit more tangible or concrete. Most of us in the exploration of our careers, we rely on skills to do what we do. But then, in the course of your career, what is the set of skills or what is the set of capabilities that is going to work best for you both in terms of having a successful career in the sense of earning wealth, advancing in whatever way that you wish to advance, all of those things. But also in your personal enjoyment? What are the things that you are going to go to work every day and enjoy the experience of spending a third to a half of your life doing this thing that you're doing? 

So when it comes to our careers, I think most of us kind of defaults to exploitation mode. That has a lot to do with how we view specialization versus generalization and work in culture. It seems like specialization. If you want to be the best in the world at something or you want to establish a very firm reputation as being great in one specific area, then, fundamentally, that strategy is exploitation, right? You find one thing, the thing for you, and you get as good at that particular thing as you can. 

I think what's really interesting looking at the market and the economy and careers in general is that there is an enormous amount of opportunity in exploration in trying different things. Things that you don't yet know how to do. Things that might, if you figured out how to do them, presents a competitive advantage or make you unique in some way shape or form. 

I have a good friend. He's the Chief Technical Officer for a company, a software company. And one of the things that he figured out would make him unique. I should say not Chief Technical Officer. Chief Operations Officer. It’s a very different thing. So he's the COO of this company. And being able to know enough of this language called SQL, which is how you get information from databases, he can go in and he can grab his own information whenever he wants versus relying on his staff to do it for him. That's not necessarily a thing that a lot of people trying to become really good COOs would decide to invest in. But because he has chosen to invest in it, it gives him more flexibility. It gives him something that he can use in the day-to-day pursuit of his job in a way that makes him better at this thing that he's decided he wants to get really good at.

Most of us, when we’re thinking about this sort of thing, defaults to the exploitation side of the spectrum when I think most of us would benefit a great deal from way more exploration than were used to investing. 

[00:17:44] MB: It’s such a great point, and it reminds me of – I don’t know if you’re read David Epstein's book Range, but talks about a similar – The idea of being a multidisciplinary thinker of borrowing and bringing ideas from lots of different disciplines and fields and how much power you can really create, and novel solutions, interesting ideas, connecting the dots. There are so many ways that, really, conceiving of things in a little bit broader fashion and spending a little more time exploring can create a lot of value.

[00:18:13] JK: Yeah. And Range is a wonderful book, and David is a great person. I had the privilege to meet him this past year. It's really funny that – And David talks about this in the book. There's been this sense of just pick the thing and do the thing and be the best in the world at the thing. And that's the way to success. But when you look at how people who eventually get there actually live their lives. There's an enormous amount of exploration that happens before they find the thing that really works for them. 

And in the same way, being able to combine different areas of knowledge to combine different skills or different practices, those are the things that really give you a uniqueness, an advantage, a way of seeing the world or doing things that is unique and valuable and allows you to accomplish things that other people really haven't been able to accomplish. You can see that right now. We are talking a little bit about software. But there are enormous number of industries that are not very automated right now. They handle things in terms of, let’s say, Excel spreadsheets flying back and forth. You don’t have to be an expert in programming or automation to understand the benefits of learning how to do something like that and doing just a little bit of it. 

You can see a lot of the companies that are winning right now are the ones that are able to take a very sometimes old industries stuck in its ways, and then use some of these new tools in a way that allows them to be faster, or cheaper, or more efficient. Those are all huge advantages, and all it takes is being able to see the world not just through a single specialized worldview or skillset, but being able to combine multiple skillsets in a way that lets you create something new. 

[00:20:11] MB: And that really brings us back to, in many ways, the importance of being flexible. Tell me a little bit more about how important flexibility is and how we can start to integrate that into our lives. 

[00:20:23] JK: Yes. In the personal MBA, I have an idea called the three universal currencies, which is resources. What we usually think of money, stuff, things like that. Time is a resource, and flexibility is also resource, which most people don't really think about flexibility as a thing that is valuable. But what's really interesting is that you can very often trade one of these universal currencies for more of the other. The classic example of this is let's say you're working a full-time job and you would like to have the ability to go do something else from 3 to 6 every day, or take Fridays off, for example. So you can choose to have a conversation with the folks who are employing you and you can very likely trade some of the wages or salary that you're making for an additional bit of flexibility in terms of this time off that you would like, however that works. You're able to trade resources for time and flexibility in a way that is almost a one-to-one sort of thing. 

So, flexibility is just defining it really quick. It's your ability to choose what happens next. You’re ability to figure out of all of the available options that are open to me, which is the one that is going to work best in this environment, in this situation with the facts that I have at my disposal? And that type of flexibility is very, very valuable. You can think of a lack of flexibility as making you very rigid and very brittle. And so when something unexpected happens, you don't necessarily have the wherewithal to respond to that situation in the same way as if you had more options available or open to you, if that makes sense. 

Having flexibility is one of those things that feels a little bit nebulous. It's not the same thing necessarily as having dollars in the bank, right? Or having freedom or not freedom over your time. It's just having the capacity to respond in a way as uncertain events happen and as the environment or situation around you changes. 

[00:22:46] MB: And I think there's another component here too. We've been talking about this idea of having flexibility in your life, but I think there's another element which is really being flexible and in the way that you adapt and respond to different situations. And they're very interrelated, but I think there's a distinction there that's really important. And in the book you pulled out this analogy of the difference between tigers and turtles and sharing some of the importance of being flexible in the way that you respond and interact with the environment. 

[00:23:19] JK: The tigers and turtles analogy is, yeah, a really good one in this case. So, think of a tiger as a super optimized system. And when everything is going according to plan, it performs just wonderfully, okay? Tiger in the jungle going out hunting, king of the jungle, the actual king of the jungle, because lions don't live in the jungle. I’m not sure how that happened. But tigers, when everything is going well, they are super optimized hunting machines. But it's when food gets scarce or when the environment changes, when the land changes, they don't do very well. If there's not enough food, they die, because they eat some specific things. And when those things are scarce, the time of the tigers is over. 

Now turtles on the other hands, not the most exciting creatures in the animal kingdom. They’re kind of slow. They just walk around and sit in the water and eat food. But the range of environments in which a turtle can survive and thrive is huge. In fact, when the tiger comes for the turtle, the turtle has a really good chance, because it has some built-in defensiveness and flexibility to go into environments or to survive in ways that the Tiger just can't match. 

The whole idea of being able to be resilient or to be able to operate in a wide variety of different situations is a very valuable one. Sometimes you can take optimization way too far. Think of a hedge fund that is very optimized for a specific set of market conditions. And when those market conditions happen, they make money hand over fist. But when something changes, they can also lose money hand over fist. That can shift in minutes or hours.

Thinking about in planning for resilience, what can help you operate in a wide range of environments in a wide range of circumstances or prevailing conditions in the environment or the world? All of those things, they don't necessarily give you a return in the very sexy sense of like, “Wow! My bank account is huge right now.” But what they do is they allow you to operate over a wider variety of things happening in the world. And when it is a good time to shift from, for example, one market to another, one industry to another, one job to another, you have a greater degree of affordances, or options, or things that you could consider or do based on those changing circumstances.

And I think, in general, the world would be a lot better both on the business, the corporate side and on the personal side of people who have more skills, more options, more flexibility, more knowledge that can track from one industry or market to the other then being hyper-specialized in doing one specific thing, because if that specific thing changes or disappears for whatever reason, that's a really not good situation to be in. 

[00:26:39] MB: In many ways, that brings it all the way back to exploration versus exploitation and what we're talking about a minute ago. But I want to circle back. You touched a minute ago on optimization and even describe the Tiger as an optimized system. I want to broaden that perspective out and talk a little bit more about systems thinking and understanding and analyzing systems. When I recently reread Personal MBA, those last couple chapters really jumped out at me. I thought it was a great discussion of the importance of systems and how we should think about them. I know that's a really broad topic, but I'd love to introduce that concept and dig into it a little bit.

[00:27:19] JK: Yeah, sure. So systems, in general, it’s just a repeatable process that is designed to produce a particular result. And so I think it really helps. And this is one of the things that, particularly in business, there aren't a whole lot of people in business in the broadest sense that have been exposed to or know how to think about things in a systematic process oriented sort of way. Versus, by contrast, engineers. This is a way that engineers are taught and very often think about problems. What are the inputs? What are the outputs? What is the end goal? What is the purpose of this system? How can we make sure that the system produces this result in a reliable way? How can we make sure that the system doesn't break down in certain foreseeable ways? All of these things are very, very valuable to think about whether you're working in a job or you’re building your own company from the ground up. 

Systems are one of those things that as soon as you get this kind of way of seeing the world in your brain, a lot of things both make more sense and you start seeing opportunities for improving how you do things both on a personal level and how you can potentially change your job or change your company to produce whatever it is that you're producing in a much more reliable, repeatable, improvable way, because the system itself can be changed as well. 

So, yeah. It’s one of those things. It's almost the business superpower. Being able to look at the entirety of the business system and say, “Okay, these are the points of leverage that we have. And if we change this over here or this over here, we can get more of what we want and less of what we don’t.” 

[00:29:25] AF: Getting your business off the ground is hard. Take it from us. We’ve been there. Sit Down Startup is a new weekly podcast from Zendesk. Find out why customer experience is at the heart of success. Zendesk for startups, chats with Zendesk leaders, founders and CEOs in a coffee shop style conversation about starting up when the world is upside down. Catch weekly episodes on Apple, Google, and Spotify.

[00:29:57] MB: I think it’s worth underscoring what you touched on a minute ago, which is the idea that you don't have to be an engineer to reap a tremendous amount of value from understanding the world from a system standpoint, understanding business, understanding your job, understanding any output, any result you want to get back, and that could be across a huge array of spectrums. If you think about it in terms of the system that creates those results, there're all kinds of novel insights that you create that help you find new ways to create change. As you said, to help you discover leverage points within those systems that can be really powerful.

[00:30:36] JK: Like the way that I talk about business. So yeah, the systems section of the Personal MBA is part three of the book, but I start using it in part one of the book where I’m talking about business in general. And businesses are just systems. Every business has five parts, right? Like you create something of value, whatever that might be. Marketing is the process of attracting people's attention and making them interested in what you have to offer. Sales is the process of taking those interested people and encouraging them to get out their wallet, checkbook, credit card and give you money for that valuable thing that you've created. Value delivery is the process where you give your paying customers this valuable thing that you have promised them and that they’ve paid for. And then finance is the process of looking at your value creation, marketing, sales, and value delivery and answering two very important questions. Are we bringing in more money than we’re spending? And is it enough for us to keep going? 

When you understand those five things; value creation, marketing, sales, value delivery, finance, you understand the whole of how a business works. And the really interesting thing about looking at businesses in this like systems-oriented way is that process of understanding business applies to the venture that is just getting started in someone's garage all the way up to the largest companies in the world. They work in fundamentally the same way. 

Just being able to look at a business not as this nebulous complicated thing that makes money somehow, but being able to deconstruct it. To break it down into these systems that comprise this structure that is designed to do and optimized to do a specific thing, to have a specific result. That's where you're able to take a step back and say, “Okay, let me understand everything that we’re doing to create value. What does that look like?” Let me understand what we’re doing to market, or sell, or deliver value. And then that gives you the ability to say, “Okay. Well, what if we changed this here? Are we going to attract more prospects? What if we change this? Does that convert prospects to sales just a little bit more often?” And that's where we – Going back to our conversation of exploration versus exploitation, that's where you start experimenting. So you’ll look at all of the different processes that happen in your business, you find one and run an experiment. Just do something a little bit differently one time. Collect information. If it works, keep doing it. If it doesn't, stop doing it. And if you do that over a long enough period of time, your business becomes much, much, much better very quickly. 

[00:33:30] MB: It's so interesting that the concept of systems thinking can apply. It's almost fractal in some senses, because it can apply to such a small component of your business. It applies to your business as a whole. It applies to the economy as a whole. It applies to all human interaction in many different ways. I find that to be a really unique component. The more you can understand how systems behave, how to break them down, how to analyze them, how to understand them. As you described it earlier, it's almost a superpower that you can use to look at and evaluate things in so many different ways. 

[00:34:06] JK: Yeah, it applies to you too, right? So how do you as an individual work best? What makes you feel healthy and strong, and alert, and vibrant. What are you trying to do and what are some of the experiments that you could run in order to maybe do that a little faster, or with a little less effort, or in a little more enjoyable way? You can apply the same concept in terms of looking at the pieces of the system, identifying one to work on. Run a few experiments and collect data and see what works. Yeah. So it's one of those things that once you get the idea and the value of it in your mind, you can apply it everywhere.

[00:34:51] MB: Some other really interesting concepts that you talk about in Personal MBA that I thought were great systems thinking concepts that apply in so many different facets of life. One of them that I want to touch on is the idea of second order effects. Can you describe that a little bit and explain how those work and what they are?

[00:35:09] JK: Yeah. Second order effect is essentially what happens as a result of something else happening in the system? A happens, and then because A happens, B happens. And then because B happens, C happens. That's a third order effect. And then you can go as far down the chain as you like. So, because C happens all the way down to Z. And so second order effects are critical parts of the system, because it's a very real thing that's happening, but they're very tricky sometimes to nail down, because you're not necessarily doing something right before that effect happens. It's happening because of something else happening in the system. 

The interesting thing about complex systems is that all of the things you do have effects, and all of those things have effects, and all of those things have effects and sometimes those effects have effects on other effects. And so that's where we really kind of get into unraveling thorny systems is very complex and can take an enormous amount of time in some cases. 

But even just having the idea in your mind that second order effects exist and third order effects and forth order effects, they exist, they are real. They can often be very significant. And so being on the lookout for them makes it much more likely that you're going to be able to identify them. 

I’ll give a personal example. I have written in the past on my site that I had this very weird health problem. I was feeling tired all the time, and I didn't know why. The way to unravel something like that is to do a bunch of experiments, right? Like you form a hypothesis, you test it, you gather the information from that test, you collect the results and then you see what you want to keep doing and what you want to change. 

I did that for many years, and I finally figured out. And this is a relatively recent development. I figured out that I'm allergic to eggs. And the only reason that I was able to figure that out is because I was paying attention both to what I was doing every day, but also the second order effects. The things that I was noticing that didn't make sense, the things that would change in a weird way that I didn't expect. Keeping track of all of those things helped me figure out the hypothesis of, “Okay, there might be an input. Something that I am doing that is not necessarily having enough an effect immediately after I do it, but is having an effect a few hours, or half a day, or a few days later that is producing this specific thing that I am seeing in the world. Knowing that second order effects exist are real, are important, is the first step in being able to look for them. And then once you identify some, you can kind of work back the chain of causality to figure out how this thing is coming to be. 

[00:38:14] MB: That's a great example, and I was going ask you, because the world is essentially comprised of messy and complex systems everywhere. How do you think about – That was one example. But how do you think more broadly about how to start to break down and understand some of these things that can get so complicated?

[00:38:34] JK: It's reasonably straightforward in a lot of cases to understand the first-order effect, right? Like you do A, and then B happens immediately after, right? So what's a good metaphor? Think like a chain of dominoes. So you're not directly knocking over the last Domino by tipping over the first, but the first is starting a chain of causality that's going to lead there eventually. 

And so the biggest thing to start doing is to using this metaphor. Just try to understand that chain of dominoes from the beginning. When you take an action or when you make an intervention, what is the immediate effect of that? Track that. But then don't stop the tracking at that change, because no action has an impact in pure isolation. Everything else has an effect on everything else. 

So, this is really something that I think a lot of people, particularly in business, don't do enough, which is scheduling some time to think through a process in its entirety without getting distracted by something else. I think a lot of times in our life and in our career we say, “Okay, we have certain responsibilities. We do those things. Those things are going to result in some sort of outcome. But the ramifications of that outcome don't necessarily stop there.” 

So even just – I found it's really useful. And this seems a little weird the first time you do it. I call it thinking by the clock, which is you set a timer. Give it 5 minutes, 10 minutes. Where you think through the thing that you're trying to do and you try to follow the chain of causality as far as you can with the information that you have. So what we’re trying to do is avoid the impulse to just stop at like, “Oh, okay. I know what the effect of this is. It’s this,” but then the thinking process stops. 

So just knowing second order effects exist. They're going to appear in a system, always. Allows you to spend some extra time to think through beyond the immediate obvious first-order effects to figure out, “Okay. If this thing happens, what is the next thing in the chain? How is that going to affect this other thing over there?” 

Really, the only thing that it takes is both time to sit down and do the thinking, but also the capacity to be able to see the system as a system and to be able to understand how the different parts of the system might affect each other. 

[00:41:20] MB: I love that example, because it's almost building the muscle of thinking and building the muscle of improving your understanding of systems.

[00:41:29] JK: Yeah, totally. It really works on – Going back to our previous conversation on decisions. It really works for complex decisions too. I think a lot of us – The impulse for a lot of complex things is either avoidance. This is just too scary and complicated. I don't want to think about it. Or we kind of worry about it in the background, if that makes sense. Like we try to figure out – Or sit with something and then hope that the best answer will become obvious and clear without necessarily spending or investing time sitting down and thinking through it in a systematic way.

As a practice, just setting a timer – And I think the purpose of the timer, it really almost doesn't matter how long the timer is. The purpose of the timer is to avoid the superficial easy stopping point. It’s trying to get yourself to think beyond that threshold where you would normally stop and consider things you wouldn't otherwise consider or examine things you wouldn't otherwise examine. And the more you do that, the better decisions you make.

[00:42:44] MB: Such a great insight, and that I love how you tied it back to decision-making. One other systems concept that I want to just touch on briefly that I found really interesting was the idea of normal accidents. Tell me little bit about that. 

[00:42:57] JK: Yeah. So, normal accidents. I think I put it this way in the book. There is a long-standing universal proverb for normal accidents, and that is shit ship happens. And so, in the operation of any system, the system at some point for some reason in some way is going to break down. That is, the world is complex enough that the probability of that happening is pretty darn close to 100%.

And so there are a couple of different ways that you can response to that. You can either try to reinforce the system to add guards and checks and other systems in order to prevent this bad thing from happening ever again. And very often, that's the natural impulse, particularly when the accident or the thing that happened is really bad or severe. 

The problem is by doing that, you make the system more complex. You make it more rigid. You make it less flexible. And by doing that, you actually can increase the probability that other accidents, other bad things will happen in the future, because you’ve decreased the flexibility and the resilience of the entire system. This comes down to the art of figuring out. When you are trying to intervene to prevent a bad thing from happening, how can you do that in a way that is going to preserve the flexibility and the resilience of the system while still either preventing or giving you some advance notice that something in the system is going wrong? 

[00:44:39] MB: I love that question. That’s something I'm definitely going to start using in my own analysis of things, is when I'm intervening to prevent something bad from happening, I really have to start thinking about how can I do that in a way that doesn't decrease flexibility and resilience?

[00:44:55] JK: Yeah. The other interesting thing related to this is something called intervention bias. And this is a concept that comes from psychology. Intervention bias is the idea that it is more comfortable to do something, anything, than it is to do nothing. And because doing nothing doesn't feel like it's helping. It feels like you're kind of ignoring the problem or this thing is going to happen again and there's nothing you can do about it. 

So, just understanding that humans by nature, by psychology, want to do something even if that something is not helpful or even if it is actively making things worse, unfortunately. Having that idea in your mind can help you keep the option in your brain. It really just depends on the situation. Sometimes the best thing to do is not to overreact, to not do anything or not do anything direct. Maybe establish a check, but not build additional systems, things like that. 

I think the example that I use in the Personal MBA is the Challenger explosion that happens and NASA's response to a rocket full of astronauts blowing up. One of the things that they were very careful to do – Because you could build an entire system around this O ring that failed and caused the explosion. But by doing that, you're introducing additional failure points into the system. You might be making things worse instead of making things better. 

And so just understanding, people want to feel like they're doing something does not necessarily mean that doing something is the best thing to do. Here's another example from the world of finance. Banks have an enormous incentive to minimize the amount of fraud that they experience. Let's say something called like a checking fraud. But if they tried to get that number to zero to make sure there is absolutely no fraud, the systems that would result from that decision would actually result in them not having very many checking accounts at all. It would over constrain the system to the point where it would not work. 

So banks have something really smart. They have what's called a fraud budget, and they say, “Okay, based on the amount of deposits that we have, we are going to experience a certain amount of fraud. And as long as that fraud is within a certain boundary, it doesn't go above certain levels that would be problematic. We’re just going to plan for that in our budget.” It doesn't mean we’re not going to try to stop it. It doesn't mean that were not going to try to figure out who did it when it happens, but it means that as long as it's within these certain acceptable boundaries, we’re not going to over constrain our systems to make it go away. Which sounds kind of weird, but it's a very functional way of making sure the system continues operating even when bad things happen.

[00:48:05] MB: Yeah. Both of those are great examples and really clearly bring to the front how to think about normal accidents and integrate them into your decision-making and into your construction analysis of systems. I want to take this back to something really practical and actionable. For somebody who’s been listening to this conversation and they want to take action to concretely implement something that we've talked about today. So whether it's all the way back up to decision-making, dealing with uncertainty, exploration versus exploitation, etc., what would one action item or piece of homework be that you would give a listener to concretely take action on what we’ve discussed today?

[00:48:49] JK: Okay, let's combine a couple of the things that we’ve talked about. Let's go to the period of time thinking about something. So I want you to take a notebook and take a timer. Let's set the timer for 15 minutes. And I want you to write down some problem or something that you're trying to do that requires a decision from you. So, do A or do B. Take the notebook set the timer, and I want you to think through all of these systematic components around this decision for that period of 15 minutes and I want you to think about the idea of exploration versus exploitation, right? What are the things that you could do or try to collect new information that would better help you make this decision or move forward on this specific problem? And I want you to think about what are some of the things in your environment, in your job, in your career, in your market, in your industry that have an effect on this that might be contributing to the gravity of this decision you're trying to make. That might be contributing to some of the barriers that you're facing in making the decision and follow that chain of causality. See if there's something that you could do or something that you haven't thought about quite yet to either try as an experiment or to go out and research and collect more information in a way that will help you make this decision in the best way you can even though things are uncertain, and even though you can't be guaranteed how it's going to turn out. Just spend those few extra minutes thinking through the entirety of the problem. And I think you're going to find something that helps you make a better decision and make progress on this thing that you're stuck on. 

[00:50:52] MB: That's a great piece of advice, and I love using the exact type of strategy to help crystallize my thinking and make better decisions. And an added benefit of regularly doing something like this is, over time, you can go back and audit your thinking and see your decision process in real-time and see what your biases were. Where you were wrong, where you were right, etc.

[00:51:15] JK: Absolutely. I think a lot of times, the people who get better results as opposed to the people who don't get very good results really comes down to the amount of intentional time without distraction that they apply to the problems and barriers that they're facing. I think that people who do that on a regular basis get much better results than people who don't.

[00:51:35] MB: Great piece of advice, and very succinctly, really summing up a lot of what we've talked about today. Josh, for listeners who want to find out more about you, about your work, about everything you've got going on right now, where can they find you online?

[00:51:49] JK: Sure. That can find me at my website, joshkaufman.net. And if you're interested in more details about what we've been talking about today, these are all concepts in the Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business, which is just coming out with its 10th anniversary edition on September 1st. And you can find more information about the book. You can find examples of some of these concepts that we've been talking about on the book’s website, personalmba.com.

[00:52:17] MB: Well, Josh. Thank you so much for coming on the show, for sharing all this wisdom. It's been great to have you back on the Science of Success.

[00:52:25] JK: Matt, it is always a pleasure talking to you. Thanks so much for having me. 

[00:52:28] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener email.

I'm going to give you three reasons why you should sign up for our e-mail list today by going to successpodcast.com, signing up right on the homepage. There’s some incredible stuff that’s only available to those on the e-mail list, so be sure to sign up, including an exclusive curated weekly e-mail from us called Mindset Monday, which is short, simple, filled with articles, stories, things that we found interesting and fascinating in the world of evidence-based growth in the last week. 

Next, you're going to get an exclusive chance to shape the show, including voting on guests, submitting your own personal questions that we’ll ask guests on air and much more. Lastly, you’re going to get a free guide we created based on listener demand, our most popular guide, which is called How to Organize and Remember Everything. You can get it completely for free along with another surprise bonus guide by signing up and joining the e-mail list today. Again, you can do that at successpodcast.com, sign up right at the homepage, or if you're on the go, just text the word SMARTER, S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44222. 

Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes because that helps boost the algorithm, that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. 

Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talked about in the show, links transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com, just hit the show notes button right at the top. 

Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

September 03, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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How To Love Yourself and Focus on Effort, Not Outcome with Kamal Ravikant

August 27, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Focus & Productivity, Emotional Intelligence

Kamal Ravikant is the author of the bestselling books, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On I, Live Your Truth, and Rebirth. He’s been a US Army Infantry soldier, held the hands of dying patients, climbed in the Himalayas, spoken to audiences around the globe, walked 550 miles across Spain, meditated with Tibetan monks, and has worked with some of the best people in Silicon Valley. But more than anything, he is passionate about writing books that improve lives. He lives — for now — in New York City.

In this episode, we dig into how you can truly master the art of loving yourself, breathing techniques that will change your world, and much more. 

  • Why Kamal decided to revisit his best-selling book and what to expect from the update. 

  • How Kamal studies the great authors of history to plan his wiring approach. 

  • His personal story of learning to love himself. 

  • Why you don’t need to have hit rock bottom to want to improve yourself. 

  • Practical Steps for Loving Yourself

    • Stop forgiving yourself. 

    • Make a vow and then live it. 

    • If it makes you feel different, lean in, if not discard it. 

  • The ten breathes exercise that will change your life. 

  • How to control your mental chatter. 

  • How you can control your internal mind and body more than you think you can!

  • Homework: Try Kamal’s ten breathes exercise and also… watch Disney’s Moana.

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Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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Looking for other ways to make life easier and more productive? Remember to check out our free new resource on Evidence-Based Growth at SuccessPodcast.com/EBG.

The personal development world is full of bad information. We got sick and tired of this, so we hired a team of researchers to dig through a huge treasure trove of scientific data and figure out what the science is really saying, free of bias, hype, and self promotion.

Our research team combed through thousands of studies to figure out exactly what the science says about popular personal development topics. Learn what works, what doesn’t, and exactly how you can use things like meditation, journaling, breathing, and so much more to achieve your goals.

With this tool, you can finally find and implement the self help and personal development methods that will create the biggest positives results in your life. And this time, you will have science on your side.

Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • FounderZen Website

  • Kamal’s Blog 

  • Kamal’s Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn

Media

  • The CEO Library - Books Recommended by Kamal Ravikant

  • Turndog - “4 Inspiring Life Lessons From Kamal Ravikant” by TURNDOG

  • Crunchbase Profile - Kamal Ravikant

  • Article Directory on Medium 

  • [Podcast] Aubrey Marcus - How To Practice Self-Love with Kamal Ravikant - AMP #239

  • [Podcast] The Chase Jarvis Live Show - 10 Breaths Back to Love with Kamal Ravikant

  • [Podcast] The Rich Roll Podcast - EPISODE 515: KAMAL RAVIKANT ON WHY SELF-LOVE IS EVERYTHING

  • [Podcast] Good Life Project - Loving Yourself (the truth) | Kamal Ravikant

  • [Podcast] The Unmistakable Creative Podcast - THE PROFOUND POWER OF PERSONAL COMMITMENT WITH KAMAL RAVIKANT

Videos

  • Kamal’s Channel

    • One of the Most Important Lessons of My Life

  • Inspire Nation - The Simplest, Most Powerful Way to Completely Change Your Life! Kamal Ravikant

  • James Altucher - Back from the Dead: Kamal Ravikant Shares How His Near-Death Experience Led to Inner Peace

  • SOFREP - Episode 3: Inside the Team Room with U.S. Navy SEAL Snipers – Guest Kamal Ravikant

  • Mpenzi Meditations - I love myself | Guided meditation

  • Glenn Beck - The Miracle of Loving Yourself | Kamal Ravikant | Ep 66 | The Glenn Beck Podcast

  • Knowledge for Men - Kamal Ravikant: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

Books

  • Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant

  • Rebirth: A Fable of Love, Forgiveness, and Following Your Heart by Kamal Ravikant

  • Live Your Truth by Kamal Ravikant

  • Rebirth book site

  • Kamal’s Amazon Page

Misc

  • [Product] Olympic Rings

August 27, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Focus & Productivity, Emotional Intelligence
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(B) Shark Tank’s Kevin Harrington on Building Your Dream Team

August 25, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Influence & Communication, Money & Finance, Career Development

In this episode, we explore the power of mentorship to transform your life with our guest Shark Tank’s Kevin Harrington. 

Kevin Harrington is an entrepreneur, author, an original "shark" from the show Shark Tank, the creator of the infomercial, pioneer of the As Seen on TV brand, and co-founding board member of the Entrepreneur's Organization. His work behind the scenes of business ventures has produced more than $5 billion in global sales, the launch of more than 500 products, and the making of dozens of millionaires. He’s authored and co-authored several popular business books including the most recent Mentor to Millions: Secrets of Success in Business, Relationships, and Beyond.

  • How Kevin went from a kid sitting on his couch to one of the most successful direct to consumer entrepreneurs in the world.

  • How do you finance your business when no one will lend you or give you any money?

  • An easy place to find a mentor - start with asking your advisors, lawyers, bankers, and vendors to help you. 

  • Bring in a retired banker as an advisor to help you raise money for your deals. (Kevin found a retired bank president) 

  • Going from a college dropout with nothing to a $500mm company. 

  • Leapfrogging your biggest challenges. Mentors can be an absolute game-changer. 

  • 2 big breakthrough moments in Kevin’s career

    • Getting in the door at the local cable provider to create and shoot infomercials 

    • Finding a financial mentor to help him raise money

  • How to create the right “dream team” to help you achieve any goal. 

  • A dream team is a shortcut to achieving your goals. 

  • Begin with the end in mind.

  • Creating a billion-dollar asset in 90 days 

  • Ask yourself: who can help you best in what you’re trying to do?

  • Strategy: Source from trade associations and look at thought leaders, industry providers, etc who may be able to be mentors or advisors for you. 

  • Associations, publications, existing relationships, legal advisors, bankers, etc. Leverage your network. There is often huge untapped value sitting in your existing network, you have to tap it and unlock it. 

  • What should you do to be a great mentee?

    • Be the mentors BEST student

    • Execute on the action items that your mentor tells you to execute on

    • Be thankful and appreciative. Show them that you’re thinking of them and you’re thankful

  • “Don’t tell me you don’t have the time when you want some of my time"

  • Homework: Write down the date you would want your mentor by, and the qualifications you want in that mentor. 

  • "Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, vividly believe, and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass."

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Thank you so much for listening!

Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

EvidenceBasedGrowth.jpeg

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The personal development world is full of bad information. We got sick and tired of this, so we hired a team of researchers to dig through a huge treasure trove of scientific data and figure out what the science is really saying, free of bias, hype, and self promotion.

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Kevin’s Website and Wiki Page

  • Kevin’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

Media

  • Article directory on Forbes, Medium, and Thrive Global

  • Green Market Report - “Shark Tank Original Kevin Harrington Talks About Joining Cannapreneur” by Debra Borchardt

  • Forbes - “The Original Shark From 'Shark Tank,' Kevin Harrington, Is Ready To Take Pitches Onto the Blockchain” by Andrew Rossow

  • Globe Newswire - Inventor of the Infomercial and Original Shark Tank Investor Kevin Harrington Joins Goldenseed Advisory Board

  • PR Newswire - Shark Tank's Kevin Harrington Partners with Recovery Drink The Plug

  • Crunchbase Profile - Kevin Harrington

  • Yahoo Finance - “Kevin Harrington Joins Cannapreneur Partners as Investor and Strategic Advisor”

  • [Podcast] Influential Person Brand Podcast - How To Produce A Winning Infomercial with Kevin Harrington

  • [Podcast] John Livesay - TSP 098: Shark Tank Pitch Secrets with Kevin Harrington

  • [Podcast] The Dan Lok Show - Kevin Harrington: Entrepreneur’s Journey

  • [Podcast] The Pitch Queen - Top 3 Tips About Financing A Venture from Kevin Harrington from Shark Tank | Episode 077

Videos

  • Kevin’s Youtube Channel

    • How To Find A Mentor For Success in Business (and Life)

  • EdMylett - How to get MORE CLIENTS | Kevin Harrington

  • Grant Cardone - Kevin Harrington and Grant Cardone Talk Mistakes in Business - 10X Growth Con

  • Lewis Howes - Kevin Harrington on Shark Tank, Inventing the Infomercial and Billions in Sales with Lewis Howes

  • TEDxTalks - How to take public the Intellectual Property of YOU ("IPU") | Kevin Harrington | TEDxFultonStreet

    • StarShop CEO going public with curiosity overload | Kevin Harrington | TEDxCincinnati

  • GDS Insights - Kevin Harrington: the three business decisions that made me

Books

  • Amazon Author page - Kevin Harrington

  • Mentor to Millions: Secrets of Success in Business, Relationships, and Beyond by Kevin Harrington and Mark Timm (Release on Sept 22, 2020)

  • Key Person of Influence: The Five-Step Method to become one of the most highly valued and highly paid people in your industry by Kevin Harrington and Daniel Priestley

  • Put a Shark in Your Tank by Kevin Harrington , Brian Harrington , Rob Kosberg , Kevin Hutto, and Brandon Adams

  • [Audiobook] Act Now by Kevin Harrington , Robert Pavlovich , Audible Studios

  • The 100 Best Spare-Time Business Opportunities Today by Kevin Harrington , Mark N. Cohen

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:18] MB: Hey, it’s Matt. I’m here in the studio with Austin. We’re excited to bring you another business episode of the Science of Success. We just launched Season 2 of our business episodes. If you want to learn more about what these are and why we're doing them, be sure to check out the Season 2 teaser that we recently released. With that, Austin, tell us a little bit about how these episodes are different than our traditional Science of Success episode.

[00:00:42] AF: Yeah, it’s important to note that you're still going to get all the great contents you've come to know and love from the Science of Success every Thursday. These are bonus episodes with added value, specifically centered around business. We've interviewed some true titans of business and multiple industries from multiple walks of life and what we're going to focus on are the habits, routines and mindsets that made them successful titans that they are today.

That said, these are lessons, routines, stories, best practices that anyone can learn from and apply to their life. You don't have to be a business owner. You can be an employee. You can be a student, or you can, of course, be a business owner. Come check them out. You're going to come away with a ton of valuable takeaways, but we do have a bit of a business focus on these specific business episodes in Season 2.

[00:01:25] MB: With that, let's get into the episode.

[00:01:28] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with more than 5 million downloads and listeners in over a 100 countries.

In this episode, we explore the power of mentorship to transform your life with our guest, Shark Tank's Kevin Harrington.

Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our e-mail list. We have some amazing content on there, along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How To Create Time for What Matters Most In Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com. You can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com. Or if you’re on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word smarter, that’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44-222.

In our previous episode, we brought on neuroscience expert, Rick Hanson, to share incredible insights about how your thoughts can change the physical structure of your brain and so much more.

Now, for our interview with Kevin.

[00:02:47] MB: Kevin Harrington is an entrepreneur, author, an original shark from the show Shark Tank, the creator of the Infomercial, pioneer of the As Seen On TV brand and Co-Founding board member of the Entrepreneur’s Organization. His work behind the scenes of business ventures has produced more than 5 billion dollars in global sales and the launch of more than 500 products. He's authored and co-authored several popular business books, including his most recent book, Mentor to Millions: The Secrets of Success in Business, Relationships and Beyond.

Kevin, welcome to the Science of Success.

[00:03:25] KH: Hey, Matt. Great to be here. Thanks for having me.

[00:03:27] MB: Well, I think you have the honor of being the first shark from Shark Tank that we've had on the show.

[00:03:31] KH: I love that. You mean, I beat Mr. Wonderful to the punch?

[00:03:35] MB: That's right.

[00:03:37] KH: He's a funny guy. I always joke, you know why he calls himself Mr. Wonderful? Because nobody else will.

[00:03:44] MB: That's a good one. I like that. Well, that's awesome. Well, we're obviously super excited to have you on. You're a tremendously successful entrepreneur and have done so much and built so many different companies. One of the things that I’m earlier in my career than you are and I think a lot about mentors and who are the mentors in my life? What does it take to find a mentor? How do you even define a mentor? I’m curious, in your journey in your career, have you had any mentors that were really impactful for you personally and helped you really shape your journey?

[00:04:16] KH: Great question. I’ll go back to the earlier days when I was an entrepreneur. It's crazy. When I was in high school, my dad said, start a business. I started a business in driveway ceiling in Cincinnati, Ohio. Then I started a heating and air conditioning company in college. The earned incomes, I had to pay for my own college and room and board and car and insurance. One day, I’m watching TV and I was watching Discovery Channel and it went dark for six hours. When I called the cable company to see what was wrong, they said, “Oh, Discovery's a new channel. It's just an 18-hour a day channel. They don't have a budget for 24 hours.”

That's when I started putting products on Discovery Channel and cutting a deal with them. All of a sudden, the world of infomercials and As Seen On TV was created and took off and boom, boom, boom. In the beginning of all of that, I was a very headstrong entrepreneur. Wanted to do it all myself. Thought I knew everything. We were having success and was a good salesman and all of that. What happened is we were getting all these orders for products. We had the Jack LaLanne Juicer, we had the FoodSaver, we had Ginsu Knives, Tony Little Fitness.

I was having to finance all the inventory. I was going to banks and I was going to investors and couldn't get money. I started thinking, well, what's the problem? I had a 50 million a year company making more than 5 million a year in profits. We were young in startups, so we were still spending money on first-time cost things. I mean, had a nice profitable business, young entrepreneur, doing good, but nobody would touch me for money.

I said to a few people, “I need some help.” I started reaching out. One of my connectors, I believe that we all have potential mentors and in the business I was in, I write checks to accountants, to lawyers, to phone services, to media companies. I said, who do I write checks to and I should be able to call them and ask for advice, because I’m paying them, right? My lawyer said, “You need to get a good fundraiser in there. Maybe somebody that worked in a bank at a high-level, and maybe a retired banker that could help you.”

I was at a Chamber of Commerce meeting back in my hometown and I’m out talking to people going, “Hey, I need to raise money.” Boom, here I am, sitting in front of a retired bank president. He looks at me and says – I give him the story and he said, “So, how much were you trying to raise?” I said, “I’ve been to five banks. I’ve talked to dozens of other investors. Can't get a dime. I’m trying to raise 3 to 5 million dollars.”

We sat and he looked at the business and he looked at it. He said, “I’ll tell you what, I got a deal for you.” He said, “I’m going to raise you the 3 to 5 million. Let's start with 3 maybe.” He said, “I think I can raise it from one of the people that's already turned you down.” He said, “I’m not going to charge you a dime for any of that. There's going to be 3 million dollars sitting in your account and you're going to then come to me and say, “Man, I need this guy to be part of my company.”

I said, “If you can do all of that, we're going to be sitting down and you're going to be part of my company.” Four months later, I had 3 million dollars in the bank. I made him COO of the company and we grew the company to 500 million dollars from there. This was a time for me that I had to seek a financial mentor, because I didn't graduate from college. I dropped out of college, not because I was stupid, okay. I had a 3.85 GPA, but I didn't like school and I was building a business. I had 25 employees my junior year and I said, “But I never had the skill set of business planning and raising capital and all of that.” Make a long story short, that was the first move. It was a great move and ever since, I’ve decided I need mentors in all the areas of my business that I don't have the skill set for.

[00:08:19] MB: Such an incredible story. There's a couple things I want to break down from that. I mean, even just the simplicity of that idea. It's incredible, find a retired banker, or in your case, it was genius to find a bank president, somebody who's already been immersed in that world, who knows people, who has the connections, who speaks the language. What a fantastic way to leapfrog what was one of your biggest challenges.

[00:08:41] KH: Yeah. I love it. That's in other areas of my life. I have probably, I’d say half a dozen mentors and coaches in my life and some of them are free. They don't charge others. I pay. Because at the end of the day, if you've got to get to the right person and they can do amazing things for your business or your life, it's worth cutting a deal to compensate them for the process. Because at the end of the day, I have an attitude of if something's for free when they're available and on their schedule and their game plan, whereas if I can actually cut a deal to have a contract for having somebody in my life and X amount, I mean, I’m a mentor to dozens of companies. I sign deals, in some cases, where I’m going to do X amount of weekly interactions, X amount of quarterly phone calls, personal meetings on an annual basis, etc., etc.

I can share some of the successes I’ve had with some of the companies I’ve mentored if you'd like at some point here, but the bottom line is I have more than finance mentors. I have them in legal and operations and personal finance, investments, etc., etc. Having a mentor can be a game changer. For me, put me into a very successful club of having quite a few business successes. I love it and it and I recommend everybody out there to explore it, if they're in a point in their life where they need it.

[00:10:18] MB: Great advice. I want to back up and get a little tidbit from this story, because it's such a fascinating journey to begin with. How old were you when you pitched Discovery Channel on, selling their empty ad space?

[00:10:29] KH: I was in my 20s. I don't remember the exact year. I’m 63 now, so it was close to 40 years ago. I think I was in my mid-20s.

[00:10:39] MB: Okay. You're in your mid-20s, you're sitting on the couch watching Discovery Channel, how do you one, get in the door, how do you have the credibility to present to them and how did you ultimately position yourself to close that sale?

[00:10:52] KH: Cable first launched back in the early 80s. I ordered their 30-channel package. I go through all 30 channels, CNN, news 24 hours a day. ESPN, sports 24 hours a day. MTV, music 24 hours a day. Discovery Channel was number 30, the 30th channel, nothing on six hours a day. I just called the local cable operator and said, “Hey, there's a problem. I’m not getting Discovery for six hours a day.” They're like, “Oh, it's only an 18-hour a day channel.” On the phone I said, “Well, if I had something to put in there, would you be interested?” They said, “Absolutely. Come on down.” It's just unsold media.

I went down and then I found out that the local cable company was Warner Cable in Cincinnati and this is back in the early 80s. They had a mandate when they signed the contract to provide cable service that they had to put one channel that was a local access channel, that provided access to the local entrepreneurs, restaurants, whoever it might be, to be able to put their – could be high schools who want to show sports. It was a local access rule.

When they're telling me this in the meeting, I’m like, “How does that work?” They said, “Well, we have a big incentive to deal with local entrepreneurs.” I said, “Well, I’m a local entrepreneur and I want to take some of your time.” He said, “You won't believe this deal that I got.” I said, “All right. I want to fill the time.” They said, “With what?” I said, “Let's do some commercials for some products and put them in there.” They said, “Okay. But look, you got six hours. Let's not do one-minute spots. Why don't we make these like TV shows?”

We're talking through this and yeah, I’ll interview people and have products. We'll demonstrate the products and then we'll sell them at the end. That's how it all started. I was the host. The very first deal, I said, “Okay. I want to shoot a 30-minute show.” They said, “Great.” I said, “And I want to run it.” They said, “Well, we have six hours a day. We'll come back to you with a proposal.” I get the proposal a couple days later for $800. They were producing, shooting, editing, producing in their studio, all-in, $800. I thought, “Wow, what a deal that is.” But wait, there's more. They're going to run it 30 times for the same $800, okay. They're going to shoot it and run it.

They're going to give me 900 minutes of air time and all the production for a 30-minute – we didn't call it an infomercial, because that word didn't exist. 30-minute advertising commercial to sell products. We sold for $800, $26,000 worth of goods. That's when my life changed, because I said, “I no longer want to be in the heating and air conditioning business, or whatever I’m doing. I’m now going to be putting things on cable television.” That was the beginning.

Then I went to Discovery National. This was just local in Cincinnati. After I had credibility, the local operator was like, “You have created a new industry here.” I said, “Can I talk to somebody at corporate, cut a deal with corporate?” They gave me six hours a day on Discovery, 365 days a year for a 1,000 bucks a day, $365,000 under a multi-year contract on Discovery Channel. That was doing 20 plus million dollars in annual sales, that block a time. Pretty good investment. Again, $365,000 investment for 20 million dollars in sales.

This was the game changer. This launched the infomercial industry. This was the early days and that's when we started going for all the Billy Mays, Tony Littles, Jack LaLannes, George Foremans, everybody that had a product, we were rocking and rolling. By the way, this was years before Amazon, nine years before Amazon went B2C, many years before QVC ever started. This was the pioneering days, the early days and had a lot of fun creating some great product successes.

[00:15:14] MB: That is insane, the amount – why were the production costs so cheap to film these infomercials and why were the stations, both the local station and Discovery Channel broadly willing to part with that media for such a low cost?

[00:15:27] KH: Because this got down to this push from their ordinance. They had a contract with the city of Cincinnati for an exclusive cable contract, but they had to provide local access on one channel to local entrepreneurs. To this day, this exists still in many of the cable contracts, by the way. I can go into 150 markets around the country and get 30-minute time blocks for a $100 to a $150 across the entire city on local cable access. They were incentivized and they needed good PR, because when cable first hit, there was a lot of bad stuff out in the market about cable and how this and that.

They needed to show the community that they were embracing local entrepreneurs and hey, for me, it was a great thing. I was there featured profiled entrepreneur that they were helping build some amazing stuff through local cable access. It wasn't about making money for them at that point. It was about being good to their agreement with the city to provide assistance to local entrepreneurs.

[00:16:38] MB: Totally makes sense. You had this tremendous opportunity, where you saw something and came across this unsold media that nobody was monetizing, nobody really even understood, and that's in some sense, why it was so cheap for you to then turn around, looking at Discovery Channel, for example, for you to then turn around and pay $300,000 a year and monetize it for 20 million worth of sales.

[00:17:01] KH: Exactly. Let's put it this way, Matt. I know we've been talking about mentors and why people need a mentor. If you get the new book that I have coming out called Mentor to Millions, it talks about how to get a mentor, what to look for in a mentor, also, how to be a good mentee. Because I’ve mentored some people that I did after a session or two, didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore, because they weren't following up on my advice and instructions and just wanting to do it their own way.

This is why I think a good resource guide for people that are in business, that are entrepreneurs, that are seeking some help would be to pick up a copy of Mentor to Millions, because there is where we pretty much lay it all out for you, the how to's of getting the right folks in your camp and being mentors to your business. Plenty of stories to tell along the way here, but it's obviously very powerful if you get – I call it creating the right dream team. If you can do that, which I’ve now been able to do successfully in many situations, it's a long way to success without a dream team.

With a dream team, it's a shortcut, because the people have been there. I’ll just give you one example also. The bank president guy that I brought in, he actually had some exit experience also. I always say, when you're launching a business, you always got a program with the end in mind. What's the end in mind? To have some an exit. In many cases, this is what a lot of people want. It's good to get somebody on your team that knows how to sell a business and knows how to make it happen. That's a powerful way to do it.

[00:18:49] MB: Absolutely. I want to dig into both some of the lessons for how to find mentors and also how you can be a better mentor and be a better mentee. Before we dig into some of those specifics, I’m curious, tell me a little bit about what was another either challenge that you personally faced, where a mentor was really valuable and helpful, or a company or someone that you were mentoring and how you helped them really leapfrog through whatever the major hurdle was that they were dealing with and overcome that problem?

[00:19:21] KH: Was this for one of my own companies, or for somebody else?

[00:19:23] MB: Either one. Whatever you think is going to be more interesting and impactful.

[00:19:27] KH: I’ll give another example of a big challenge we had. Then I’ve got examples of maybe we could do both, but let me start. I built – this business was very successful. We were north of a 100 million in sales. A 100 million in sales, we're doing 2 million a week in sales, 50 weeks a year. We didn't have a lot of cash sitting in the bank, but we had millions of dollars that would turn week-to-week to fund the media and the inventory and things like that.

One Monday morning, most of our sales came from the weekends, because that's when a lot of the unsold media was Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Monday was always a big day. We literally for the weekend, would be sitting on a couple million dollars in sales, generally. That money would hit our account on Monday. One Monday, the CFO came in to me and he's like, “Hey, we got a big problem. The bank did not send us the 2 million this Monday. They're holding it and they're not going to let it go. They're holding it for reserve against returns in our business.” I’m like, “What do you mean they're holding it?” He said, “Well, they cited a clause in our contract with them. We've had some higher returns happening and they're concerned as a bank that they have to give the returns to the people, because they've cashed the credit card and they want an extra 2 million.” They're just going to sit on our money until some future date that they may choose to give it back to us, okay.

Now imagine that. 2 million dollars swept out of your account almost is what it is really technically what happened, because it was sitting in our account. Instead of them sending it to us, they swept it to them. Now I’m sitting on the verge of closing the company down, because that's my operating capital. Now we ended up taking a look at what was happening and where the problem was. What it was, we had 12 products that we’re running on various levels. 95% of our business was solid, but we had one of those products that represented 5% of our company that we were having big defective issues, because the manufacturer had delivered us a bunch of product that had not been quality-assured properly.

Now these people were calling the bank, charging back, asking for their money back. On that particular product, our returns went from a normal 10% up to 30%. It was such a small part of our business, for us, it really didn't affect us, but the bank was getting this onslaught of nasty calls and chargebacks. That's why they instituted this policy. Boom, we're going to grab Kevin's 2 million bucks.

Now I got a mentor. We checked it out. What are we doing wrong? How do we solve this? I brought lawyers in, accountants in all around. Make a long story short, we presented to the bank the fact that just this one product was causing the problems, why put us out of business for this? This is our solution. We want a separate merchant account for every single product, so we can't lose our whole company when we have one apple to spoil the whole bunch. That's what we did. They bought into it. They released 1.6 million and we then gave them an extra 400 grand for reserve, but we were able to survive and live through all of this.

Make a long story short, this was another situation where we needed to come through this in as good of fashion as possible and we did. We survived. We didn't close the company down, but we were close. That was a pretty amazing story. Again, some great advice, some great mentors came in. When you think about it, Matt, I don't know if you've ever been in the product selling business, but you should have a separate merchant account for each product, because things can blow up. This is a high recommendation I have for any entrepreneur out there listening right now, separate in separate silos, so that you can't lose your whole company because of one issue.

[00:23:40] MB: Yeah, that's a great piece of advice. I's amazing. Any business success story, when you look back, there's always a series of moments where it seems like everything was on the line and you had to find a solution and it's never as easy as it looks from the outside.

[00:23:56] KH: Exactly. You said it best.

[00:24:01] AF: Business isn't business as usual anymore. Starting up is more challenging in this changing environment. Sit Down Startup is a new weekly podcast from Zendesk. Our startups team brings together Zendesk leaders with founders and CEOs in a coffee shop style conversation, who solve real problems, sharing the successes and pitfalls of customer engagement. Catch weekly episodes on Apple, Google and Spotify.

[00:24:33] MB: I’d love to quickly hear as well a story of how you were able to with one of the companies that you were mentoring or advising, helped them overcome a big challenge as one of their mentors.

[00:24:43] KH: Okay. This was in the book, Mentor to Millions. It's about a company I got involved with a few years ago called Celsius. Have you ever heard of a company called Celsius? It's a healthy energy drink.

[00:24:56] MB: I have not.

[00:24:57] KH: Okay. Well, a few years ago, nobody had heard of it because it was a startup. I came in as a board member and energy drinks, Red Bull, Monster, etc., they're sold in retail stores. That's where you buy them. I got involved with this company and I said, “Retail. That's great. Yeah, you can go down that path. That's one way to sell.” I’m in the business of direct to the consumer. I said, it would be great if we could start putting direct to the consumer programs in place, influencers, micro-influencers, fitness influencers, celebrities.

I started down that path of creating additional revenue streams for the company. The company was a little public company that had a couple million-dollar value. I joined them at the startup mode, when they were pretty much just getting off the ground, a couple million bucks in assets. We're going retail, but we're also going to be direct to the consumer, which includes Amazon and direct sales.

Now let's fast forward. We built this company. It's taken off. It took off like crazy. Doing well. It grew to over a 100 million and then a 120 million. Then all of a sudden, we got into here we are, COVID hits. We're in May of this year and the stock was around $3 a share. The market value at $3 a share still built the company now to a couple 100 million dollars, okay. We went from literally zero to a couple hundred million by implementing a lot of the ideas that I was just talking about direct to the consumer, as well as retail, influencers. We brought in Flo Rida, Khloé Kardashian, all these little fitness influencers, etc.

Now during COVID, stores were closing and people said, “Wait, I can't get my Celsius.” But wait, there's more. Yes, I can. Because we've implemented all these direct to the consumer channels, we were crushing it on Amazon, etc., etc. The word got out that Celsius was on fire and the stock hit $14 today over a billion dollars in value, went from a couple hundred million to a billion in the last 90 days. I’m not familiar with any other company that's had any turn like that that's unbelievable.

Here I am, one of the co-founders of the early days of this company and of course, I made a few bucks along the way, because we created a billion-dollar asset. You just can't sit and wait. It's not always going to be the same way. You've got to go for it and figure out new ways, think outside the box as I say, direct to the consumer, fitness influencers we're crushing it. We've got a really solid business. It's called Celsius. The symbol is C-E-L-H. Amazing team. They have an amazing board, amazing CEO. John Fieldly had a great CEO that started that was involved with the company for many years. Jerry David.

Look, as I mentor, I’m on boards, I’m never going to sit here and take all the credit for anything. It's always a collaborative effort. A lot of folks had a lot to do with that. I will tell you, the direct-to-the-consumer strategy and that's the business I’ve been in for 40 years, that was the real hook that created a major juggernaut at Celsius.

[00:28:31] MB: That's amazing. That's a pretty rapid amount of value creation and especially during such a turbulent economic time. I want to come back to some of the practical ways to start implementing this. How did you think about and having been in business for so long and been so successful, how do you think about going about finding a mentor? What are the best strategies for finding one? Even maybe zooming out a little bit, what exactly is a mentor? I mean, as a mentor someone who you have coffee with once a week? Is it somebody who you speak to once a year? Is it somebody who gives you one piece of advice one time? How do you think about what a mentor is and then how do you really think about the best strategies for actually cultivating and finding and building relationships with them?

[00:29:12] KH: Great question. By the way, this is all discussed in our book, Mentor to Millions. Anyone that is listening can hear my response, but they also have a chance to go get the real detailed process in the book. Bottom line is this, it's all of the above, Matt. It might be a one-shot deal. It all depends on what you need and what the mentor is looking for.

I have a gentleman I’m mentoring right now, for example. His name is – I’ll think about in just a second here. Been mentoring him for about eight months now. An amazing guy. His name is Matt George. He runs Children's Place in Peoria, Illinois. It's a home for homeless children. They feed and house 1,800 children on a monthly basis that go through the doors there. They have a massive budget.

Matt George is an amazing guy who really cares about the kids and he's been successful raising money for children's home. Sometimes you hit a plateau. I said to Matt, “Look, this is going to be my give back for your group.” I’ve been working with him, helping him build some ideas, because at the end of the day, having a good visibility is important in a community. Matt has been out there, but I said, “You've done such amazing things, Matt. You should write a book. You should start putting a profile, raising your profile in the community, because you do so much for so many people that I think it's important you should start putting your own podcast together.”

I mean, the first question you ask, how do you get a mentor? Go to your chambers of commerce, go to all the associations you're involved with. I’m a co-founder of an organization called The Entrepreneur’s Organization. It's called EO. We have chapters in 50 countries, a 150 cities. When you join EO, we give you a board of mentors. It's called your forum. To get a board of advisors that are going to be your advisors going forward.

There's all kinds of ways to get mentors. One of the things I mentioned earlier, who do you write checks to? Ask them who might be able to help. I have five law firms I write checks to. I write checks to credit card processors, to fulfillment centers, to media companies, to TV networks. You reach out. Hey, you don't have to say, “I write you a check. I need some advice.” Just, “I’m one of your customers. I need some advice. Could you help me grow bigger? I need a guy in finance. I need someone here. Do you have any connections? Any ideas? Boom, boom, boom.”

Anyway, make a long story short, I got the finance mentor at my chamber of commerce meeting. I also belong to lots of organizations. Joe Polish has a group called Genius Network. and Roland Frasier has a group called War Room. These are mentoring groups that you can join. Board of Advisors is Mike Calhoun. You can join Board of Advisors and get great advice from the other members. These are all the different places you go. At the end of the day, it's a one-on-one discussion you have with the mentor.

Some mentors don't want to do anything more than say, monthly. Others don't mind weekly. Some want to meet you on a regular basis. Others want to do it via phone or Zoom. Now today, obviously with COVID it's a lot different. Everybody's staying away from other people, so it's a little bit tougher, but it's generally virtual in today's world. Lots of great places to get mentors and you can't do it sitting at home. You got to get out and start turning those rocks over to find the mentors.

[00:32:53] MB: Yeah, that makes total sense. I think the big takeaway from that is this idea that what a mentor is is something that's highly flexible. It changes. It could be there's a huge, really broad definition. You can find mentors across, whether it's an organized mentor group, which I’m a big fan of something like War Room. Roland Frasier's actually a previous guest on our show. Roland is the man. Whether it's something really structured like that, or whether it's finding somebody locally, it seems like what you're saying is that there's a tremendous amount of ways that you can find a mentor, what you really have to do.

Obviously, it's a little harder in some ways with COVID, but it may be easier in other ways, because you don't ever have to leave your house. Is you have to get out there. You have to start turning the rocks over. You have to start connecting with people. You have to put yourself out there and be willing to ask for help and call up the other people that you're already doing business with and see who they know that might be able to help you in some way.

[00:33:44] KH: Yes, exactly. Perfect. It's a process. I’m going to say this at one time, you're the only one as the entrepreneur running the company that can do it. You can't go to somebody and ask them to go get you a mentor necessarily.

One quick last story, a guy that was needing some help. He was in the business of selling products to the military. I live in Tampa, Florida. He's like, “Can you give me some help?” I’m like, “Yeah, I can.” I said, “Part of my help is bringing a dream team to your company.” I said, “I know MacDill Air Force Base is right here in Tampa and they have all these retired generals.” I said, “What is a retired general? What's his business model? He wants to consult companies, get paid some fees and use the credibility he has to be a former general inside the US military.”

MacDill Air Force Base is central command for the United States. I said, “Let's go out to MacDill and see if we can meet some ex-generals.” We did. We got Chip Diehl. General Chip Diehl had just retired. He was looking for some relationships. He joined our board of advisors, opened up amazing doors inside the military down at [inaudible 00:34:57] down in Dallas.

Again, if you're in the business selling to the military, who can help you best? Somebody high up in the military, is no longer in the military. Because if they're in the military, they can't consult you or advise you. That might be a conflict. You just got to think outside the box. I could tell any person really how to go get a mentor for their own particular business. Again, my book Mentor to Millions, we teach you all of that in there. I think anyone out there listening should go get a copy for sure.

[00:35:32] MB: Yeah. That's in many ways, that actually shares a lot of commonalities with your own – one of your first big mentors, the retired bank president that you found. Seems like maybe a really rich vein to mind when you're searching for a mentor is to figure out who used to be really prominent, really successful in that industry, or that particular niche and they've since retired and go try to seek those people out and get in front of them. It seems like they have a really potent mix of powerful rolodex and also, they're in the stage in their life, in their career where they're not as busy. Maybe they're looking to give back a little bit more. They're looking to help and teach people and pass on what they've learned and what they know.

[00:36:08] KH: Exactly. Yeah, you hit it. Thank you.

[00:36:10] MB: Is there any way, or any strategy in particular, I mean, you've mentioned things like local chamber of commerce, just networking through the people you know, etc., but to find – If I said today, “Hey, I need to find the retired, let's just say, bank president to help me scale my business to the next level,” how would you go about finding that person?

[00:36:29] KH: Well, let's take the industry that I’ve been, was part of for 35, 40 years, the As Seen In TV industry. There's a trade association in As Seen In TV that was started. I was one of the co-founders. It's called the Electronic Retailing Association. Now that existed for about 30 years, very successful. It ended up morphing into something else now recently. The bottom line is that there was hundreds and hundreds, maybe thousands of members of what was called ERA, Electronic Retailing Association.

If you were Procter & Gamble and you wanted to get a mentor in the world of As Seen In TV and electronic retailing of which Amazon was a member in eBay and QVC and HSN, there's a board of directors of ERA. Then there's a listing of suppliers and service providers. A lot of people would call ERA, “Hey, I’m Procter & Gamble. I got a shampoo that I want to do an infomercial for. I need some advisors, mentors. Who do you have?” “Oh, well we have these lawyers, we have these producers, we have these, this.”

I mean, associations are one of the great places to start. I do a ton of business in the world of housewares and hardware. I go to the house for a show, the hardware show and I network with the International Houseware Association. One other place that's really good, there's a publication called HomeWorld Magazine, that is the publication that exists for the world of anything housewares. There's a guy named Peter Giachetti that's the publisher and editor and chairman of HomeWorld Magazine. I’ve known him for 35 years. If I need anything done in the world of housewares, I call him. “Hey, I need a good manufacturer for toasters. Who should we be talking to?” Get an answer right back.

Bottom line, associations, publications, your existing relationships in legal and accounting, all kinds of great ways. You'll never run out of them. I always say, just you got to keep going until you get the right ones. Once you find the right ones, it's going to blow you away. It's really powerful.

[00:38:46] MB: Yeah, that's great advice. There's often so much untapped potential in your network that if you're not asking, if you're not putting yourself out there, if you're not trying to uncover who do they know that might be really helpful for me, you're really leaving a lot of value on the table.

[00:39:01] KH: Absolutely. Yeah. You know it. Absolutely.

[00:39:04] MB: Really quickly, what are some of the key things that you need to do to be a great mentee?

[00:39:09] KH: That's a great question. The first thing I say is you should be the mentor's best student, okay. Because when you think about it, I think I mentioned earlier that it's not exciting for a mentor to – I’ll give some advice and I’ll say, okay. Here's four action plan items before we talk next. Now, the first thing I do when we start the next conversation is let's go over the four action items and how did you do with those. “Oh, well. Got the two of them. I didn't get the other two. Sorry.”

It's like, well, what's wrong with this picture here? That's not a good mentee. I want a good student. I want somebody that's really eager. I don't mind a challenge, or why is what you're saying the right way to go, you're certainly allowed to do that. Don't tell me you just didn't have the time, but you want more of my time. It's important that you communicate well, that you thank mentors, you're appreciative, send them nice notes, maybe a little inexpensive gift every now and then. It could be a Starbucks card for 20 bucks value or something.

Just that you're thinking about them and things like that, or a donation to their charity. I had a grueling three-day event that I did in Vegas and 80 meetings over three days. I keynoted two of the days. I was scrambling to get through the airport, to get home on a late-night flight. I’m sitting in the airport eating a quick bite before I jump on the plane and a young kid comes up to me, handed me a $100 bill. He said, “Mr. Harrington.” He said, “I was at the event. I watched you the whole time. I tried to get to you a dozen times. I never could. I’m just a young entrepreneur starting out. I need some help. I’m not looking for anything for free. I’m going to give you a 100 bucks, because I’ve got a couple questions I’d like to ask you. I don't even need your time right now, because you look busy, you're eating. Take my 100. Can I call you some time and ask you a question?”

I was blown away by that. Number one. Secondly, handed him his 100 back and said, “Look, you approached me the right way. I’m going to give you the answers to your question and I’m not going to charge you a dime and I really appreciate what you did and God bless you.” I mean, those are the things for a 100 bucks, you got to deal with a shark, okay. That was a very smart young entrepreneur, I’ll tell you that right now.

[00:41:41] MB: Kevin, I know we're wrapping up here, but where is one place that listeners can go to find the book, to find you, to find your work online and what is one action step that you would give them to begin implementing some of the things we've talked about today?

[00:41:54] KH: Okay. Great question, Matt. Go to kevinmentor.com and that's got all the information about the book. You can pre-order it. We got copies are just coming out soon. Book will be out in no time. We actually have eBook versions also. Lots of great stuff there. Kevinmentor.com. Also, my website is kevinharrington.tv. Tt's another place they can get some great information also. Kevinmentor.com is a really good place to start.

This is what I’d like to challenge everybody out there right now to make a step. This is for the people that don't have a mentor. I want you to write down a date that you'd like to have a mentor by, and I’d like for you to list the qualifications that you would like in that mentor. Now, I have a saying I wake up every morning to this. Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass.

That was a saying by an old mentor of mine way back. It's just powerful and I just have to say that believe in yourself, believe in your idea and the steps that I mentioned, vividly imagining, that's easy. People can imagine themselves getting a mentor. Ardently desire, you desire it. You vividly imagine it. You ardently desire it. You sincerely believe that you need a mentor, that you want a mentor, but you don't enthusiastically act upon it. This is where most people fall down.

Now, put a plan of action together and with my book and a plan of action, you're going to have great success. You'll get your mentor and you're going to turn things around in your business. On that note, Matt, I want to thank you for having me. Been a great event here to share some of the ups and downs that I’ve had over the years. I shared a couple stories that sometimes I don't like to share about how tough it was for me. but I really appreciate you having me today and I hope anyone out there can go to kevinmentor.com to get some information about getting a mentor in their life.

[00:44:08] MB: Kevin, thank you so much for coming on the show, for digging into some of your incredible backstory and sharing all of these lessons about how we can find mentors.

[00:44:16] KH: Thank you, buddy. Talk soon.

[00:44:18] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talk about in the show, links transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com, just hit the show notes button right at the top. 

Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

August 25, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Influence & Communication, Money & Finance, Career Development

From Intellectual Knowing to Felt Knowledge with Rick Hanson

August 20, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Creativity & Memory, Mind Expansion, Emotional Intelligence

In this episode, we dive deep into an incredible conversation with returning guest Dr. Rick Hanson to explore neuroplasticity, the science of changing your brain, and how to supercharge your ability to learn anything. 

Dr. Rick Hanson is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Mother Nurture, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha's Brain, Just One Thing, and most recently Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness. He is the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, he's lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, and Harvard, and been featured on the BBC, CBS, and NPR, and many more media outlets.

  • All of our experiences are natural processes. There is no categorical distinction between the experiences of a human and the sensory experiences of a spider, a cat, or any animal or sentient being. 

  • How can we use our minds to change our brains?

  • “Self-directed neuroplasticity” and “positive neuroplasticity” 

  • Mindfulness practice changes the physical structure of your brain

  • Your mind is shaped by your environment 

  • Your mind shapes your reaction to things, even more than the events themselves. 

  • How do we disengage from negative experiences & rumination?

  • Slow down and experience positive and beneficial experiences. Help your states become traits. Turn passing experience into lasting physical change. 

  • Neuroplasticity is the core way that learning works in your brain. You can harness it to improve your life. 

  • 2/3 of who you are is learned or acquired over your life span. "You have the power to affect who you are becoming." It’s the superpower of superpowers. 

  • How do we go from ephemeral learning, watching a TED talk, and then having no impact or change in our life? 

  • How are we helping ourselves internalize the lessons of our experience? 

  • Focus on what’s personally relevant and meaningful, focus on what’s new about the experience, the more you bring it into your body the more it will sink it. 

  • We have the ability, every day, to use the power of positivity

  • We consume too much "Intellectual cotton candy” - it’s important to be thoughtful of

  • “Quick 3 breaths practice” 

  • How does the “hardware” of neuroplasticity work? We have an “enchanted loom” inside our brains “continuously weaving the tapestry of consciousness”

  • The hardware of your brain is designed to be changed by the activity of the brain itself.

  • “Hebb's Law” = Neurons that fire together, wire together. 

    • New connections form as a result of repeated thoughts

    • More blood flows through well used neural and synaptic connections. 

  • You can literally see the thickening of brain passageways via MRIs resulting from your thoughts. 

  • Your thoughts and your actions can change the genetic expression of your genes in a way that can reduce your stress response and improve your happiness

  • Our experiences matter in the moment, but they matter even more for shaping WHO YOU ARE BECOMING.

  • Science is extremely clear that your thoughts change the physical structure of your brain and ultimately WHO YOU Are. 

  • Happy people are successful people. 

  • When you experience something useful in the flow of everyday life, slow down and receive it, 5-10 seconds can make a huge difference in internalized 

    • This applies to THOUGHTS and SENSATIONS, EXPERIENCES, EMOTIONS, and FEELINGS too!

    • It’s not just for internalizing ideas, it's also incredibly powerful for internalizing feelings and experiences

  • 2 Step Process of Neural Change

    • (1) We experience something

    • (2) It changes the brain. 

  • If you’re having an experience and you want to experience more of it.. here’s what to do. 

  • "The 8 Factors of Self Directed Neuroplasticity"

    • How to REGISTER beneficial experiences so they have a lasting impact on your brain. 

    • Enriching.. help an experience become BIGGER and MORE LASTING

      • Duration - extend the duration of the experience. Keep the neurons firing together for longer. Don’t chase the next experience, really sit with it. 

      • Intensity - dial up the intensity of the experience to fire more neurons and get it to sink in better. Turn up the volume inside yourself to make the experience feel BIG and intense. 

      • Multi-modality - have more aspects of the experience in play, feeling, thinking, sensing, sensations, physical experience, actions, etc

        • Thoughts, perceptions (including physical sensations), emotions, desires, actions 

      • Novelty - the brain is a novelty detector. Make an experience more fresh or novel, explore different and new parts of the experience, look at it freshly, the sense of newness will increase its internalization

      • Personal Relevance / Salience - this is not about episodic memory or specific memories, this is for implicit memory, the felt sense or experience, not specific memories. Make things personally relevant to YOU. 

        • Increasing their relevance to you personally makes it stick in your brain 

    • Absorbing.. sensitive the machinery of the brain so it’s more receptive to and influenced by experience. Help yourself become more sensitive and receptive to the inner dialogue. 

      • Intention - intend to be changed a little by the experience. Be willing and open to change for the better. 

      • Sense of receiving the experience - consciously receive the experience, ask yourself where in your mind, body, or experience the feeling needs to be received. 

      • Focus on what is rewarding - what is enjoyable, meaningful, or both. Focus on what feels good about the experience it increases dopamine and neurochemicals which increase long term storage and consolidation. 

    • 3 Step Process

      • (1) Have a beneficial experience you want to cultivate further 

      • (2) Then shift into enriching… protect the experience, add fire to it, keep it burning brightly

      • (3) Then absorb.. receive the warmth of the fire. 

  • You can’t control whether the tide is rising or falling.. you can’t control many things.. but you can control your own experience and your reactions. 

  • The Importance of Self Reliance 

    • Competent

    • Autonomous 

  • The foundation of personal intimacy with others is autonomy. 

  • Being self-directed and being capable.. are the fundamental building blocks of being healthier, happier, and more productive. 

  • We become competent through learning... social competence, emotional competence, spiritual competence, etc. Getting good at learning is the most important thing you can do. 

  • Two useful questions to improve your life. 

    • When you look at the challenges of your life - either external or internal - what, if it where more present in your mind, your being, your heart - what would REALLY help? 

      • This helps you identify the inner strengths that you need 

    • What does it mean to have a wonderful human life? Here we are today.. what kind of life do you want to have.. what do you want it to feel like to be you? What should your life feel like? What do you want to feel inside? 

      • Once you discover this, you can gradually grow it over time. 

  • Find the experiences and feelings you want - and focus on using these methods to internalize.

  • Whatever it is that you want to be more like, study the people who have made that thing their life's work and gotten good at it.

  • The process of growth - both general and specific - this is how learning works. "In the beginning, nothing came… in the middle, nothing stayed.. in the end, nothing left."

  • "Trying to light a fire with wet wood."

  • Homework: “The 5-minute challenge” that will transform your day. 

    • Slow down: As you go through your day slow down when you’re having a good experience, 5 seconds here, 20 seconds there, etc. 

    • Have a focus for self-development: What are you working on developing within yourself right now? This is your North Star. Have one thing you’re deliberately trying to grow and improve in your life. 

    • Marinate in deep green: Safety, satisfaction, connection. Soak in an experience of your body calming down. When you feel rested, safe, and content.. hang out there as long as you can. 

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Rick’s Website  and Blog

  • Rick’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

  • Rick’s Podcast, Being Well with Dr. Rick Hanson

  • Wisebrain

Media

  • Psychology Today - Rick Hanson Profile

  • Article Directory on Mental Help, HuffPost, Greater Good Magazine

  • Forbes - “Three Mindfulness Practices For Leading In Disruption” by Henna Inam

  • [Courses] Mindfulness Exercises - Rick Hanson’s Mindfulness Meditations

  • DharmaSeed - Rick Hanson's Dharma Talks

  • [Podcast] The Feel Good Effect - 119: The Secret to Becoming More Resilient with Dr. Rick Hanson

  • [Podcast] The Accidental Creative - Dr. Rick Hanson on Hardwiring Happiness

  • [Podcast] Revolution Health Radio - How to “Hardwire Happiness,” with Dr. Rick Hanson

  • The Jordan Harbinger Show - 192: Rick Hanson | The Science of Hardwiring Happiness and Resilience

  • [Podcast] Marie Forleo - HOW TO BUILD UNSHAKEABLE INNER STRENGTH USING YOUR BRAIN

Videos

  • Rick’s YouTube Channel

    • Resilience During A Time of Fear

    • Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness

  • InsightTimer - Being on Your Own Side by Rick Hanson

  • Inspire Nation - How to Hardwire Your Brain for Happiness! | Rick Hanson | "Buddha's Brain" | Positive Psychology

  • Optimize - Optimize Interview: Buddha’s Brain with Rick Hanson

  • Matt D’Avella - The Reason Most People are Unhappy

  • TEDxTalks - Hardwiring happiness: Dr. Rick Hanson at TEDxMarin 2013

  • Talks At Google - Rick Hanson: "Resilient" | Talks at Google

    • Rick Hanson | Talks at Google

  • Greater Good Science Center - Rick Hanson: Understanding Neuroplasticity

Books

  • Amazon Author Page - Rick Hanson

  • Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom, and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness  by Rick Hanson

  • Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness  by Rick Hanson , Forrest Hanson

  • Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence  by Rick Hanson

  • Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom  by Rick Hanson , Daniel J. Siegel

  • Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time by Rick Hanson

  • Mother Nurture: A Mother's Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships by Rick Hanson, Jan Hanson, and Ricki Pollycove

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:19] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet with more than 5 million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. In this episode, we dive deep into an incredible conversation with returning guest, Dr. Rick Hanson, to explore neuroplasticity, the science of changing your brain and how to supercharge your ability to learn anything.

Are you a fan of the show have you been enjoying our interviews with the world's top experts? If so, you need to head to successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list. You will receive a time of exclusive subscriber content as well as our free course we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time For What Matters Most in Your Life. You'll get that and so much more value and content on a weekly basis directly from our team. Sign up now at successpodcast.com. Or if you're on the move, text 44222 to SMARTER. That's S-M-A-R-T-E-R on your phone to subscribe on the go. 

In our previous episode, we discussed the hidden science behind navigating life’s toughest transitions with our previous guest, Bruce Feiler. 

Dr. Rick Hanson is a psychologist, senior fellow of UC Berkley’s Greater Good Science Center and New York Times bestselling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Mother Nurture, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddhist Brain, Just One Thing, and most recently, Neurodharma: New Science, Ancient Wisdom and Seven Practices of the Highest Happiness. He’s the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom. He’s lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, Harvard and been featured on media outlets across the world. 

[00:02:12] MB: Rick, welcome back to the Science of Success. 

[00:02:15] RH: Matt, I’m glad to be here. Greetings to you in Tennessee. I’m here in Northern California.  

[00:02:19] MB: Well, I’m so excited to have you back on the show. Our first conversation at this point, it was three or four years ago, maybe even longer than that. And you’ve been working on a lot of interesting stuff. One of the things that really spans your entire catalogue of work that I think is so interesting is that you do a tremendous job of connecting ancient wisdom with modern science in a way that’s really practical and applicable  in our lives. And so that to me, I just wanted to commend you for such a great approach to improving the human experience and human understanding.  

[00:02:53] RH: Matt, thank you. Honestly. Praise coming from you, and I appreciate it. 

[00:02:58] MB: Awesome. We’re going to jump right in to some deeper issues. Let’s start with a question of what is the source of our thoughts, our emotions, our feelings, and even to some degree, our sense of self? 

[00:03:13] RH: That’s a really deep question. I think the answer inside the frame of science is to ground all of our experiences and keeping it simple. The sounds we’re hearing. The birds outside my window right, sensations in our body, pulling up the knowledge of our home phone number, our cell number. All of those experiences are natural processes. There’s no categorical distinction down between the experiences of a human and the experiences of a gorilla, a cat, a lizard, a goldfish, or maybe even a little spider, which is really just remarkable to reflect upon it. The nervous system has been evolving for 600 million years helping creatures including us today survive and even thrive in really challenging conditions. 

If you ground mind and life, then that leads you into a very practical investigation, which the perennial wisdom around the world has pursued. People describe these fellows or people as of all genders and beyond gender as the Olympic athletes of mental training. That’s pretty remarkable, right? But also it brings you into a very practical consideration of modern science that says, “How can we use our mind to change our brain for the better? Thus, changing our mind for the better as well.” And that’s my own personal focus.  

[00:04:36] MB: So let’s dig into that a little bit. Tell me about that concept, because to me that’s something that is the promise of that and the potential of that is so powerful. 

[00:04:44] RH: Yeah, it is. If you think of it, Jeffrey Schwartz of UCLA coined the term “self-directed neuroplasticity”. I work a lot in what could be called positive neuroplasticity using deliberate mental activities to plausibly change your brain, which then in turn shifts your mood, lifts your motivation, helps you perform at a higher level, and it also helps you be more content and happy along the way. 

One of the remarkable findings is that something like mindfulness practice, for example, changes your brain in ways that are increasingly measurable with things like MRIs and EEGs. It’s also true of course that the brain can be changed for the worse. It has a negativity bias that makes it like Velcro for bad experiences, but Teflon for good ones. 

So both traumatic experiences as well as the daily grind that wears people down gradually alters neural structure and function for the worse. So for me the take away is deal with the bad, turn to the good, take in the good. That summarizes a lot of useful practice. 

[00:05:49] MB: That’s something that you’re hinting at another idea that I think is really important, which is this notion of controlling the inputs in your life, controlling your environment. And if you don’t take ownership of even the smallest things, as you said, a lot of negative experiences overtime can change the structure of your brain in a negative way too. And so tell me about how we can start to consciously and mindfully craft whether it’s our thoughts, our experiences, our actions, etc., to reshape our brains via neuroplasticity and to be happier and healthier and more productive.  

[00:06:24] RH: Oh, that’s really great. I’m a really practical guy. I’m a psychologist. I’m a parent to two young adults. I’ve been married a long time. I had a mortgage for a long time. I’ve been in business as well. So I’m the real-world. And also I care about what’s happening in society, including in this time of trouble and opportunity that we’re in the middle of right now in America and around the world. 

Of course, always, we should do what we can to help the world around us be better. Including improve our relationships with other people, seek out people that are more copasetic with us and so forth. And also do what we can with our physical bodies. But meanwhile, we have our minds, and our minds are with us wherever we go. And our minds shape our reaction at things actually, usually, more than our circumstances do. 

Yes, try to improve your circumstances and relationships and settings. But meanwhile, wow! Your mind is like the shock absorber. It’s like the furnace. It’s like the climate, the atmosphere that you take with you wherever you go. Appreciating the importance of lifting the triple bottom line and doing what we can in the world around us. Meanwhile, wherever you go, there you go. 

So one of the things that people can really do is to think about disengaging from negative experiences, not to look at the world through a rose-colored glasses, but to stop reinforcing the negative by ruminating about it. Just that alone leaves people’s mental health and they’re functioning dramatically. Disengage from ruminating. 

Second, when you’re having a beneficial experience of any kind, a simple one, you’re relaxing a little as you exhale. You’re enjoying the intellectual conversation with someone like Matt Bodnar. You’re appreciating the fact that your coffee tastes good. You get little thing done. Your cat crawls in your lap. Whatever it might be, slow down to help your brain catch up to that experiencing the fact. Slow down to, in the famous saying, keep the neurons firing together so they wire as well. 

And the problem is most of us leave in a state of discontent. We’re always chasing the next shiny object rather than savoring and marinating in and internalizing the current beneficial experience so that it actually changes our brain. We live in states, but we don’t help our states become traits. And that fundamental power to turn passing experiences into lasting physical change in your brain is fantastic. But most people don’t use it very much. 

[00:09:04] MB: And so correct me if I’m describing this in the right way, but the idea is to – When you’re experiencing some kind of positive emotional experience. It could be anything as small as a sip of coffee up to a child’s birthday, something like that. We need to take the time to be mindful and try to savor that moment, savor that experience of positive feeling, because when you do, you’re slowly firing and binding the neurons in your brain at a physical level to increase your happiness and really truly build those neurons and that myelin together in a way that is going to have a permanent change on your brain structure. 

[00:09:42] RH: Exactly right, and very well said. And I want to stress a key point here. What we’re talking about is the fundamental process of learning. And if you think about all the things that we could describe as inner strengths, grit, gratitude, compassion, emotional intelligence, secure attachment, executive functions, knowhow, people smarts, self-compassion, all of it. Those your inner strengths of various kinds. And research shows that on the whole, on average, about two-thirds of who we are is something that's acquired over the lifespan distinct from that one-third or so that's innate and baked into our DNA. 

So we have the power to affect who we are becoming. If you think about it, that power to affect who we are becoming is the strength of strengths. It’s the superpower of superpower, because learning is the strength that grows the rest of them. So that's fundamentally what we’re talking about. And you can think about how much money is wasted in business settings, in training people where it doesn't sink in. Or you can think about the frustration for individuals who are seeking some kind of self-improvement. Some form of maybe healing from the past or growing of something inside for the future. And when they’re reading the book or listening to the talk, the TED Talk, they feel great. They feel inspired. They felt motivated. But an hour later, it's as if it never happened. That's really frustrating. 

And so to me, it's extremely useful to broaden the notion here into learning altogether and to realize that, for example, there you are – I've done sales, for example. I use that as an illustration. There you are in a sales situation and maybe you walk away from it and you realize, “Ha! Next time I really want to help myself do something different. I want to have a different attitude inside my mind. I want to approach it a little differently, a different perspective. Maybe I want to remember to avoid talking in certain ways or I want to remember to start talking in other ways. I want to really help that land.” And you could use a similar example in your personal relationship. Like I will often walk away from an interaction with my wife thinking to myself, “Right, bro. There's a better way next time.” I want to help it land. I want to help it sink in so that next time it really is different for me. 

So then the question becomes how are we helping ourselves really internalize the lesson broadly from that experience? In fact, yes, the longer we stay with an experience, the more it's going to tend to internalize. There are other factors as well that are factors of learning that you can mobilize yourself and become, therefore, more autonomous and also more competent at the learning process broadly defined altogether. 

So the more you focus on what's rewarding about the experience, the more it's going to tend to alterations in neural structure and function. The more you recognize what’s personally relevant or meaningful about the experience, the more you’re going to learn from it. The more that you focus on what's novel, or fresh, or meaningful about the experience. The more it's going to tend to internalize. The more active you are, the more you bring it in your body, the more you kind of help this new attitude or way of thinking about things, let’s say, or feeling, be a shift in your posture, your facial expression your body language, the more it’s going to sink in.  It’s not magic. It’s just that we don't use it. And yet we have this ability again and again and again many times a day to use the power of positive neural plasticity and take charge of who we are becoming. 

[00:13:14] MB: You said so many things that I want to explore. But this idea that you can apply this principle of neural plasticity to just beyond –

[00:13:22] RH: Anything.

[00:13:22] MB: Yeah. It's such a really unique take on the whole idea of neural plasticity, and we've all experienced that essentially ephemeral learning experience where we watch a TED Talk, we read a book, we do something. And then an hour later, a day later, or a month later, you’ve forgotten the entire thing. 

[00:13:37] RH: It’s like cotton candy. We’re trying to live on cotton candy. And you can kind of live, but you're not going to internalize many nutrients that way.

[00:13:44] MB: That's perfect. And so you're saying that the antidote to this intellectual cotton candy is to really sit with the content, internalize it physically. Try to feel it. Try to focus on what's new. As you said, you went through a list of about 10 different ways that you can really start to be more present to whatever you want to learn and whatever you want to really burn into the physical structure of your brain essentially.

[00:14:09] RH: Exactly right. I'm really glad you got it, because it's really easy to dismiss what we’re talking about or trivialize it as, “Oh, yeah. Savor the sunrise.” Yeah, definitely, savor the sunrise. Enjoy every sandwich, blah-blah. But what about those moments where you just feel your own gritty fortitude? Your toughness? I've done a lot of wilderness things, a lot of rock climbing, and I’ve been in business environments where you just got to dig deep and gut it out. And what does it feel like to gut it out? And then the next time you got to gut it out, you’re going to be more able to gut it out if you've grown that grit inside, for example. Or other times you realize, “You know, damn it. I messed up. I don't want to do that again,” whatever. Maybe you yelled at somebody or you just kind of lost it or you got too drunk, something. And you just say to yourself, “No, I don't want to do that again.” You want to help it sink in, or a lot. You just have sort of a mood that’s settled. A mood of appreciation, or gratitude, or thankfulness for living, or a sense of feeling cared about by other people, let's say, appreciated by them. And based on that, you want to really, really help it sink in. So it becomes more and more of who you are. 

Matt, if you want, I'll tell you eight factors of self-directed neural plasticity. I'll just go through them. I ranted there, but I'll list them quickly. Also, if you like, I'll teach you this little three breaths practice that I'm doing lately with people that is amazingly powerful and grounded in brain science. 

[00:15:39] MB: I want to do both of those things. Before we do that, just really briefly, I'd love to dig into the science around neuroplasticity a little bit if that makes sense just to ground the importance of how science-based this is and what's actually happening in your brain when you learn anything and how you’ve re-conceptualized it in a way to really make your learning and your positive emotional experiences much more meaningful.

[00:16:05] RH: Fantastic. So quick summary of the hardware, inside the 3 pounds of tofu-like tissue, inside the coconut as it were, inside your brain, are about 85 billion neurons plus another 100 billion or so support cells. The neurons are mainly where the information processing hardware of your body lives. And those neurons are connected with each other, on average, in several thousand places called synapses. These little junctions between neurons giving you, in effect, several hundred trillion little microprocessors inside your head right now. And to use the phrase from the neuroscientist, Charles Sherrington, it’s as if we have an enchanted loom inside ourselves continually weaving the tapestry of consciousness. Neurons fire continuously. They typically fire 5 to 50 times a second. They’re really busy. Large coalitions of millions of neurons fire together synchronously many times a second. The world of the brain is very small, very fast and very complicated. Those little synaptic junctions between neurons are so tiny that you could put several thousand of them side-by-side in the width of a single human hair. 

So that's the hardware, and it's designed to be changed by the information flowing through it, including that portion of the information flowing through the nervous system that is the basis for our conscious experiences of hearing, seeing, coping, dreaming, remembering and so forth. So, there are many ways in which that process of neural plastic change occurs physically, which is kind of remarkable to appreciate. And I'll just name some of the major ones. 

First, in the saying from the Canadian psychologist, Donald Hebb, who worked in the 1940s and 1950s, neurons that fire together, wire together. So if they’re firing together, they literally start to wire together. New connections form. Second, existing connections become more or less sensitive as a neural physical basis of learning. Third, more blood starts to flow or through capillaries that reach out like little tiny fingerlike tubes in the regions of the brain that are busy. It's a little bit like working a muscle again and again. You literally build tissue there in ways that are measurable now in MRIs as thickening of the cortical layers of the brain. 

Fourth, there can be changes in the expression of genes inside the nuclei of neurons. For example, people who routinely practice relaxation training of one kind or another have improved regulation of genes in the brain that calm down the stress response, which makes people more resilient as a result. And fifth major way in which neural plastic change occurs is that different parts of the brain can improve their coordination with each other. It's as if the brain builds long superhighways between major centers major cities in the brain so they can coordinate better together. 

The takeaway here is that our experiences matter in the moment for how they feel, but they also matter a lot for who we are becoming. And for me, what the major-league takeaway is, is, number one, when you're having negative, painful experiences, you can't fight with them, which just makes them stronger. But you can step back from them mindfully. And as soon as you step back from them, when you're being with these experiences, let’s say, of stress, or anger, or frustration, or sadness, or hurt, you're not reinforcing them anymore. And in fact, you're starting to associate those negative experiences with the spaciousness of calm awareness. That's great. 

Second, meanwhile, look for every opportunity to grow psychological strengths of various kinds, resources inside yourself, including the fundamental psychological strength of global happiness and well-being. That's a major factor of resilience to just be happier. And it's also a major factor of career success. Long-term happy people or successful people. Yes, there are exceptions. But over the marathon of a career, a person's sense of underlying contentment and fulfillment and well-being is a major indicator of career success. 

And then the last brief comment here is that when you are experiencing something useful, just enough flow of everyday life, why not slow down? Why not receive it into yourself, literally, for a breath? Half a breath? 5, 10 seconds can make an enormous difference. But as they say in Tibet, if you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves. Breath by breath, minute by minute, we can really grow the good inside our brain and therefore inside our life.

[00:20:53] RH: Such incredible description of the process and how everything works. To try and boil this down in the simplest possible terms, essentially, the science is extremely clear that you’re – 

[00:21:05] RH: Very clear. 

[00:21:04] MB: Thoughts can change the physical structure of your brain. And ultimately your thoughts, in a very real sense, change who you are. 

[00:21:13] RH: Yup. And if I could just emphasize, I know you’re using the word. You’re so bright, Matt. It’s really just a pleasure to hang out with you. Truly. I'm a wise speech. I’m a write speech guy, just the facts. Anyway – Yeah, and to broaden – You mean it broadly, but I want to really emphasize it by thoughts. We're including cognitions. I think Matt is really smart. That's a thought. Okay. 

[00:21:36] MB: Keep working on that one. Really internalize that one. 

[00:21:39] RH: Yeah. You keep working at it. You keep taking it in. But then you’re giving me the big smile, because we’re seeing each other here. And I'm feeling, not just thinking. I'm feeling good. There's an emotion between us. We don't know each other super well, but there's a nice kind of human camaraderie. It's not more than what it is, but it’s not less than what it is. I'm feeling it. I’m feeling it in my body. My arms are waving. I'm moving. All of that is part of the music of experience. 

So, yeah, they’re the lyrics. Let's call it that, of experience, the thought track, the cognitive track. And meanwhile, there are images, there are emotions, there are sensations, there are attitudes, there are behaviors, there are intentions and desire, the totality of all that is an opportunity for internalization. 

Yes, it's useful to internalize ideas. I internalize the ideas in my mid-20s, that growing up I'd been a nerd, but not a wimp. That was a very useful idea. But especially, what was useful from that idea was the feeling of relief and the release of a kind of sense of inadequacy or shame that I was some kind of wimpy guy, which I wasn't. I was shy. I was nerdy. So I’ll get out. I was very young for grade. I skipped a grade and have a late birthday. But I was nobody's wimp, right? Anyway, we start with the idea, but then what you really want to do as much as you can is help the idea become lived experience. It’s like moving from the menu to the meal. 

[00:23:04] MB: That's an incredible point, and really, really insightful. It's not just thoughts. It's not just concepts. It's feelings, experiences, emotions, sensations, everything. 

[00:23:14] RH: You got it. Exactly right.

[BREAK]

[00:23:20] MB: Getting your business off the ground is hard. Take it from us. We’ve been there. Sit Down Startup is a new weekly podcast from Zendesk. Find out why customer experience is at the heart of success. Zendesk for startups, chats with Zendesk leaders, founders and CEOs in a coffee shop style conversation about starting up when the world is upside down. Catch weekly episodes on Apple, Google, and Spotify. 

[INTERVIEW CONTINUED] 

[00:23:51] MB: So you want to hear these eight separate ways you can change your brain for the better that's just while you're experiencing – 

[00:23:55] MB: That’s right. Let’s dig in. 

[00:23:57] RH: Yup, and I'll just do it kind of fast. Basically, if you think about it – So there's the two-step process of positive change or negative change. First, we experience something. And then second, it changes the brain. Okay. So I want to talk about how we can start with whatever we’re experiencing and then use it to change the brain for the better. All right. So let's suppose you're having an experience of some kind that you think, “Oh, this one is a keeper.” Or, “I want to become more this way. I want to help myself become more this way.” So you start with some sense of what you want to become more like, or stabilize inside yourself. Okay, great. 

The process of internalization, that second step, has two aspects. They kind of overlap experientially, but they’re meaningfully distinct. First aspect is called – I call it enriching where we help the experience be big and lasting. The second step, I call absorbing. We sensitize the memory-making machinery of the brain so it's more receptive to and more changeable by the experience we’re having at the time. So now we’ll go through it. 

Five factors of enriching, three of absorbing. So these are eight separate ways that you can change your brain for the better. You don't have to use all 8 at the same time. There are a couple that probably come out for you as go-tos. But I’ll just go through them. Number one, duration. Extend the duration of the experience. Keep the neurons firing together longer for a breath, or two, or three, or more, stay with it. Rather than chasing the next experience or letting other people rain on your parade and distract you from what's beneficial here and now that you're trying to take into yourself. 

Second major factor, intensity. The more intensely those neurons are firing, the more it's going to sink in. So if you have a sense of, let's say, worth through feeling connected with another person, they like you, they’re friendly toward you, there’s respect coming your way. Kind of turn up the volume on that experience inside yourself as best you can so it feels big and intense inside your mind. Intensity. 

Third major factor, I just call it multimodality. What I mean by that is have more aspects of the experience in play. Like we were saying, not just the thought track, but add this sensation track. Add the emotion track. Add the desire track. Add the action track. Those are five major aspects of our experiences, thoughts, perceptions, including sensations, emotions, desires and actions. Okay? So that’s the third factor of enriching the experience. Whole body experience. 

Fourth factor, novelty. The brain is a novelty detector. So the more that we help ourselves look out at the world through beginner's mind, Zen mind, beginner's mind. You may have heard that phrase. Don't know mind, through the eyes of a child. Exploring different aspects of an experience that we want to internalize. Helping it be fresh or novel. We’re just coming back to something that might seem kind of same old same old, like gratitude, or a sense of accomplishment when getting a test done. Try to look at it in a fresh way. Your sense of the novelty of it, the newness of it will increase its internalization. 

And then the fifth factor of enriching is personal relevance, salience. We remember. And here I want to emphasize, I'm not really talking so much about what’s called episodic memory or explicit memory for particular events. Like that time you looked out at the sunset, holding the hands of someone you loved, let's say. That's great. But what I'm really talking about is the vast bulk of who we are. In fact, we are memory broadly defined. What we acquire in terms of who we become, which is called implicit memory. The felt sense, the lived residues of experiences. For example, the feelings you had when you are standing there looking at that sunset holding the hand of someone you love, right? 

Why is something relevant to us? That’s the fifth factor. Why is it personally meaningful? Like me, I’m telling my story briefly. I grew up shy, dorky, etc. So later in life I deliberately really started looking for and taking in genuine experiences of feeling respected and included, because that was in short supply when I was a kid. And so those experiences were and are personally relevant to me. And by recognizing their relevance, their salience, that increases the registration in physical changes in the brain. 

So those are five factors of enriching, right? And by the way, on my website, rickhanson.net, these points are freely offered in a whole variety of ways and people can learn a lot more including the underlying science of all this. And then in terms of absorbing, in effect, we help the inner recorder become more sensitized to, more receptive to. The song that’s playing in the inner iPod that we've really enriched. 

So, three factors of absorbing. First, intention. Intend to be changed a little by the experience. Be brave enough to be changed a little for the better. It’s kind of like saying to yourself, “My boss rarely praises anybody. He said something nice to me today. This one's a keeper. I really want to let this sucker sink in.” Or you realize with another person, “Wow! I recognize a whole new way to be skillful with certain kinds of people.” Maybe with people who’ve had a really different life history than I've had? Maybe whose skin is a really different color? Wow! I want to really register this. I want to help myself shift in the way I am in this particular area. So I'm going to intend it, right? Intention. 

Next factor of absorbing. I'm on to number seven in my list of eight total, right? Fear not. I’ll be done in a second. Is to sense that you're receiving the experience into yourself. This is kind of intuitive and subtle, but it’s the feeling of like a warmth spreading inside your body. You kind of feel like a sponge the experience is going into. You can even get a sense of receiving the experience into places inside that have been longing for it. Maybe they didn't get enough of it while growing up, or in your last job, or in your last relationship, or places inside that are hurting, that are wounded, that the experience is a soothing balm for. Maybe places inside that have felt rejected, or dismissed, or devalued, put down by others and they’re off to the side, but still they’re hurting. 

And so the experience that you're having today, let's say, of being included with a group of friends who dig you, and you have fun together. Maybe it's on Zoom these days, or who knows, or with social distancing. But it’s a good experience. It can feel like a soothing balm that's being received into these hurting places inside, sometimes very young places inside. That's the second of three aspects of absorbing, sensing that you're receiving it into yourself. 

And then last, really cool and useful, focus on what is rewarding about it. What is either enjoyable, or meaningful, or both. If we highlight the reward value of our experiences, that increases the activity of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, especially in the hippocampus, one of the key parts of the brain that's very much the frontend of who we are becoming. It's a major center of learning and memory in the broadest sense, the hippocampus is. 

So as we focus on what feels good about and experience we’re having, what’s meaningful about it as well, that increases dopamine and norepinephrine activity in the hippocampus, which flags the experience that the time is a keeper for protection during consolidation into long-term storage. That’s it. 

That way I had put it really simply, it's a little bit like a fire. So, step one, have a beneficial experience, either because you notice when you're already having or you skillfully create one for yourself. Now you've ignited the fire or notice that you have a fire. There is fire, right? Then you shift into enriching. You protect the fire. You don't let somebody put it out. You add logs to it. You keep it burning brightly for a long period of time. You enrich the fire. And then in absorbing, “Ahh!” you receive the warmth of the fire into yourself again and again and again. 

[00:32:26] MB: What an amazing treasure trove of insights. I mean, this is one of the things that personally I've struggled with for a long time is navigating the gulf between something that you know intellectually and something that you know as felt experience. This to me is the perfect roadmap to truly take experiences and actually internalize them into your mind, into your body, into the physical structure of your brain, literally. It's such a fascinating concept as a whole. But this is a really, really practical guidebook, and it's so, so insightful. 

[00:33:02] RH: I'm really glad you appreciate that, Matt. For me, it relates to self-reliance, autonomy and competence. These fundamental old-school values, right? I mean, I’m a therapist. I live in California. I’m a meditator. I've encountered a fair amount of woo-woo stuff. And, hey, if you dig that stuff, that's cool, whatever. But wow! What we’re talking about is basically the fundamental process of becoming a super learner, of steepening your growth curve. If you think about it from a business standpoint, what's your return on investment, right? You're having experiences. That’s your investment. In effect, what's your interest rate? What's the return on investment? What’s your ROI on the experiences you're actually having in terms of their lasting beneficial impact and being able to grow as much as you can interaction-by-interaction with other people, breath-by-breath, day after day, gives you a feeling of confidence. It gives you the feeling that you are the captain of your own ship. You can't control whether the tide is rising or falling. You can’t. You can't control. Whether there's a big storm offshore that’s moving in. You can't always control what the other people onboard are doing. But boy, you sure can control your own hand on the tiller. And now you direct your personal ship through your life. And that gives you a feeling of inner peace. You know you're doing what you can. You're taking responsibility for using the power that you do have, while at the same time being at peace about so many other things because they’re just out of your hands. 

[00:34:44] MB: What were those values you shared a minute ago? You just touched on kind of this notion of self-reliance, but share those with me again. I thought that was really interesting.

[00:34:51] RH: Yeah. To be truly self-reliant in a world around us, we need to be competent and we need to be autonomous. We need to be capable in all variety of ways whatever our situation might be. And we need to be able to direct ourselves. We’re related with others, but the foundation of intimacy with others is personal autonomy, because if you don't have a sense of being grounded and your own person, you can't afford to really, really open up to other people, because you’ll get swallowed up by them, or overwhelmed by them, or manipulated and controlled by them. 

So if you think about it, whether it's in business or in good old-fashioned culture, being self-directed and becoming capable, becoming increasingly skillful, and therefore becoming increasingly self-reliant is a very fundamental old-fashioned value. We could say it's an American value, but it’s actually a universal value worldwide to become more self-reliant, which involves and requires autonomy and competence. 

Well, to be competent, to be skillful, to be capable in a whole variety of ways, including interpersonal intelligence, interpersonal competence, as well as intrapersonal competence, being competent, being skillful with your own thoughts and feelings. Being able to acquire those competencies is a matter of learning, right? Other than was baked into your DNA at the moment of conception. And I’ll spare you the visual on that, right? 

Anyway, we become competent through learning very broadly, including social competence, emotional competence, spiritual competence, whatever you actually care about. Becoming more competent as a partner, as a parent, as a business owner, as a friend. So we become competent through learning. Therefore, getting good at learning is the most important competency of all, and it’s the foundation of everything else. 

[00:36:55] MB: I couldn't agree more. And in many ways, this show itself, the whole project, started out of that same idea, that learning is the meta-skill. 

[00:37:04] RH: Yes. Exactly right. 

[00:37:05] MB: Things you can do. 

[00:37:07] RH: If I could say one more thing too. If you just sort of ask people two useful questions for people. One way of us asking it is when you look at the challenges in your life outside you, business challenges, relationship challenges, how to get through a plague. That's clearly going to be present here in America for all kinds of reasons, probably another year or so. Certainly, the consequences of it will be with us for a while. If you look at challenges inside yourself, maybe your prone to self-criticism that’s destructive, or you’ve got some addictive desires, or you fill awkward at public speaking. You're kind of nervous about sticking your head above the weeds. Because when you were young, you got cut off when you did. Whatever it might be., given your challenges, what if it were more present in your mind, in your being, in your heart, in you. What if you were more present inside you would really help? 

That takes you to identifying the psychological resources. The inner strengths, let's call them. They would really help these days. Let’s say if you’re shy and it's hard for you to stick your neck out or gets in the way of working with other people. You could help yourself build up more, let's say, confidence, in a variety. Including, for example, feeling more cared about by other people and really internalizing the feeling of being cared about by other people, or also internalizing, let's say, greater courage. Greater capacity to tolerate fear without shutting down and maintaining a cool head even when you're scared and keeping on going. Something I learned slowly but surely as a rock climber, for example. So these are examples of working backwards from a challenge to identifying the psychological resources, the inner strength that would be really good to grow these days. That's a really useful way to think about this.

And then, every day, gives you opportunities to have an experience of that inner strength you're trying to grow, or a related factor. And then when you’re having a sense of it at all, when that song is playing at all on the inner iPod, slow down. Turn on the recorder and use one of those eight factors or a combination of them to register that beneficial experience as a lasting change in your brain. That's one thing. 

The other thing is to really ask ourselves what we want to feel in this life. It’s a long and twisty road. It’s sort of amazing gift to have a human life. Here we are, the result of 3-1/2 billion years of biological evolution on this planet. 300,000 years is anatomically modern humans. Where I sit on another 2 million years of tool manufacturing commented ancestors. Wow! Here we are today. What kind of life do you want to have? We can ask ourselves, right? What do you want to feel? What do you want the mood of what it's like to be you to be in terms of inner peace, contentment, self-worth, fulfillment, satisfaction, joie de vivre, hope, optimism, some fundamental sense of understanding and peacefulness regarding deep existential questions of what's the personal meaning of your life? Coming to terms with inevitable death, death of others, loss, da-da. What do you want to feel inside? And therefore, how can you gradually grow that over time? And it's the same process of learning. 

If you want to feel more peaceful, have more experiences of peacefulness that you internalize. If you want to feel more confident, more content. Have more experiences of confidence and contentment that you internalize again and again and again. 

[00:40:56] MB: I almost don't even know what to say. It's such a great insight. I mean, you’re fundamentally hitting at some of the most, if not the most important questions of our lives. And it's amazing how easy it is to go through life without ever stopping to ask some of these questions. And yet until you ask them, you can't start being reliant on yourself. You can't start having a self-directed path and journey to living and experiencing the life moment-to-moment basis that you want to be experiencing. 

[00:41:34] RH: You nailed it there. Totally true. One of the things, whether it's in business or sports – I recently watched the documentary about Michael Jordan, for example.

[00:41:43] MB: Oh, that’s on my list. 

[00:41:44] RH: Yeah. You totally want to see it. Is really wild. It’s so interesting. It’s so many levels, including a kind of a case study and how not to run an organization. You'll see for yourself. Anyway, whatever it is that we want to be more like, study the people who’ve made that their life's work, who’ve gotten really good at it, right? And so one of the things that I've tried to do in my book, Neurodharma, which has a kind of odd title, but it's not a religious book. It's actually a deeply, practical, scientifically-based book and how to cultivate seven qualities inside ourselves that we find in enlightened beings, which are about as far as you can go in human development. 

So one of those beings I’m going to quote here is Milarepa. He was a Tibetan sage. He lived probably about a thousand years ago. He was one of the early Buddhist teachers in Tibet as Buddhism kind of moved north out of India starting 2000 or so years ago. And he was describing his own life. And he did so in three sentences that I think summarize the general process of growth. And you can apply it to any particular thing you're trying to develop in yourself, or you can apply it to your life altogether. And this is someone who arguably was enlightened himself. I mean, a real adept who, by the way, was not calling upon supernatural or higher powers, but who through his own effort, his own practice was able to develop. So he said, “In the beginning, nothing came.” Describing his life. “In the beginning, nothing came. In the middle, nothing stayed. And in the end, nothing left.” That's the processor of growth. 

In the beginning, we try to experience things. Let's say more confidence about sticking our neck out. And we know we auto experience it. We know we want to feel it, but we don't fill it. You know what I mean? Okay. Or for example, we want to want to exercise, but we don't really want to exercise. 

[00:43:45] MB: Yup. Exactly. 

[00:43:47] RH: Yeah, I can relate to that one. But now I actually have gotten better about that. I tell myself actually I want to exercise, and then exercise. But anyway, so it just doesn't come. It’s like trying to light a fire with wet wood going back to my metaphor of the fire. 

In the middle, you can experience it. Maybe when you're watching the TED Talk, or reading the book, or listening to the podcast, or talking to your therapist, or hanging out with your friend. In the moment, you experience it. But it doesn't stay, right? It's a state, but it’s not yet a trait. But then in the end, whether it's any particular thing you're trying to help to establish inside yourself and make it a habit, a new, in effect, habit of your heart. By the end, nothing leaves. It's there. You’re cooked. You’re baked. It’s present in you forever. That's the fundamental process, isn’t it? In the beginning, nothing comes. In the middle, nothing stays. In the end, nothing leaves. And that's incredibly hopeful. But, still, we’ve got to do the work ourselves. 

[00:44:46] MB: So for somebody who's been listening this conversation and they want to start to do the work, they want to take one step, one action item to put into practice something that we’ve talked about today, what would be one piece of homework that you would give them to begin that journey?

[00:45:01] RH: I would give people what I call the five-minute challenge, and it actually probably takes less than five minutes. And it'll totally change your day, five minutes, I guarantee you. It will change your day. And if you do it a few days in a row, you will start to feel the difference. 

First, as you go through your day, slow down for good experiences. Just slow down half a dozen times a day. Five seconds here, 20 seconds there. You make that cup of coffee. Slow down to actually taste it. You’re hanging out with your friend Matt or someone. Matt smiles, slow down. Hang out. Why not? Not a big deal. 

And one thing about it too is that it's totally private. Nobody needs to know that inside yourself you’re like, “Ah! This feels good. This feels right. I'm taking it in.” Outside you look like you’re at business, you're in a meeting. They have no idea what you're doing inside your own mind, okay? Slow down a handful of times every day. Make it part of your mission. You could even keep a little count just to make sure you do it at least a few times a day. That takes about a minute a day. 

Second, know one thing in particular that you're developing inside yourself these days. One attitude, one point of view, one shift of mood, faster, letting go of being irritated, less anger, more patience, whatever, one thing. What's one thing that you're really zeroed-in on developing in yourself? And therefore, it gives you kind of a compass bearing. It becomes your North Star every day. It's the prize you keep your eyes on, whatever it might be. It's okay to have two or three. But for sure, have one thing you're deliberately trying to grow these days by, in the two-step process, having experiences of it or some factor of it. That than you slow down to receive into yourself to gradually become increasingly that way. That's the second thing. That will take another maybe a minute a day. 

And then, for sure, every day, for a minute or more, do what I call marinating in deep green. What I mean by that is the green zone of our natural resting state as animals. As animals, our natural biological resting state when we experience a sufficiency of needs met in the moment and enoughness of fundamental needs met in the moment. And we have three fundamental biological needs for safety, satisfaction and connection, broadly defined. Satisfaction, whether it's just eating food, or feeling accomplished, or grateful, or glad and connected, ranging from sex all the way to subtleties of a sense of camaraderie with other people. Three basic needs, safety, satisfaction connection. 

Slow down, and probably you could do it meditatively. You could do it while you're walking the dog. You could do it while you’re just hanging out with a cup of tea, or the last couple minutes before your head hits the pillow. Slow down to let your body calm down. Come into a sense of peacefulness and calm. Slow down and come into a sense of gratitude and contentment in the moment. It’s okay to want more, but on the basis of contentment already. And slow down to feel cared about and caring. Loved and loving, connected. Slow down, whatever is authentic. 

And then when you're kind of rested in that basic sense of well-being characterized with a general blend of peacefulness, contentment and love, however you experience it. Hang out there for a minute, or two, or three in a row. That will reset the stress chemistry in your body. It will start to teach you what your home base is. This is our natural home base. But so many of us experience a kind of chronic and or homelessness of mild to moderate chronic stress that in which we’re just not in touch with our natural resting state. We don't feel our needs are met enough in the moment even if objectively, biologically, they basically are. We don't feel it. Okay? 

So those three, right there. You wander through your day, half a dozen times or so, take in the good. Second, know one strength in particular, one muscle, one mental muscle broadly that you’re trying to grow these days. Zero-in on that. Let that be the prize. Keep your eyes on that personal prize. And third, come home for a minute or two or three at least every day. Come home to your deep nature and rest in deep green, peace, contentment and love.

[00:49:28] MB: And Rick, where can people find you, your work, your latest book, etc., online?

[00:49:33] RH: Oh, thank you. Best places my website, rickhanson.net But I'm pretty present on social media of various kinds, Instagram, Facebook. I’m out there. But I think if people just Google my names, they’re going to find me. And one thing I could add if I could here, Matt, is that, in addition, tons of freely offered resources of all kinds. I really do have some great online programs that are inexpensive. We also have scholarships for people in genuine financial need. And these are well-structured, well-organize programs that range from just one minute, like literally things that are about a minute and a half long that you can do to change yourself, to other kinds of programs that, for example, are more developed, and you can take part time with them. But I would just suggest people to check those out. 

[00:50:21] MB: Well, Rick, thank you so much for coming on the show. This has been an incredible conversation. So many insights about learning about growth, about how the brain and the neurochemistry of the brain really functions, and how we can harness it all to live lives of happiness and productivity. I mean, our first conversation was incredible. This was even better. I really appreciate you coming back on the show, rick. Thank you so much for a fantastic interview.

[00:50:47] RH: Oh, it’s a pleasure. And thank you, Matt. You may not realize it. I just want to thank you for your service broadly. What you're doing is serving people and helping them. So tip of the hat to you for sure. 

[END OF INTERVIEW] 

[00:51:00] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes because that helps boost the algorithm, that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. 

Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talked about in the show, links transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com, just hit the show notes button right at the top. 

Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

August 20, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Creativity & Memory, Mind Expansion, Emotional Intelligence
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The Hidden Science Behind Navigating Life’s Toughest Transitions with Bruce Feiler

August 13, 2020 by Lace Gilger

Bruce Feiler is an author, speaker, and television personality. He is the author of 15 books including six consecutive New York Times bestsellers; the presenter of two primetime series on PBS; and the inspiration for the drama series Council of Dads on NBC. Bruce's two TED Talks have been viewed more than two million times. In his newest book, Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age, Bruce describes his journey across America, collecting hundreds of life stories, exploring how we can navigate the growing number of life transitions with greater purpose and skill.

In this interview, we dig deep into how you can navigate HUGE transitions called Lifequakes in your own life. In the past, people thought navigating transitions was an art however as Bruce will share, it’s actually much more a science. We also dig into how to find meaning in life, and much much more with Bruce Feiler. 

  • Bruce’s incredible background and his journey literally across the globe interviewing hundreds of people who have experience HUGE transitions. 

  • How the journey of writing Life is in the Transitions began and what spurred the journey. 

  • What is was like to travel the country and interview hundreds of people from all walks of life. What were the main learnings?

  • How people of different ages handle transitions differently and why some are more resistant than others. 

  • The main takeaways of these interviews...

    • Linear Life is Dead

    • We Live Non-Linear Lives

    • You Actually Can Master the Skill of Transitions

  • How the brain tends to react to transitions and what we can do to make sure we handle them with grace. 

  • It Takes Micro Steps

    • Write your own story.

    • Gratitude

    • Find Meaning, Not Happiness

  • What a “lifequake” is and how we can navigate them. 

  • The reality of just how much of your life will be spent actually in transitions. 

  • What we can do to prepare for a transition even if we don’t know what it is yet!

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Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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This episode of The Science of Success is brought to you by our partners at LinkedIn Jobs!

To post a healthcare or essential services job for FREE, or if you're in another industry and having hiring needs, visit www.linkedin.com/success and get started today!
Now more than ever, we need people with the right skills to support our communities, especially the frontline workers who provide resources and care for those most in need. 

To help, LinkedIn is offering free job posts for healthcare and essential service organizations that need to quickly fill critical roles with the people who help us all. 

Go to www.linkedin.com/success and learn more today!

Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Bruce’s Website and Wiki Article

  • Bruce’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

Media

  • Thrive Global - “How to Make the Most of Our Collective Life Transition” By Arianna Huffington

  • The Wall Street Journal - “Learning to Conquer Life’s Crises” By Bruce Feiler

  • Psychology Today - “How to Master Change” by Bruce Feiler

  • TODAY.com - “How to master change when 'lifequakes' strike: Turning crisis into growth” by A. Pawlowski

  • Fox News - “Bruce Feiler: Coronavirus challenges are one of many transitions we will experience -- here's how to survive” by Bruce Feiler

  • Muck Rack Profile - Bruce Feiler

  • WBUR - “Writer Bruce Feiler On Using Rituals To Navigate Times Of Turmoil” by Robin Young

  • WSAV - Author of Savannah’s ‘Council of Dads’ shares thoughts on show ending

  • Publishers Weekly - Books by Bruce Feiler and Complete Book Reviews

  • TED Speaker Profile - Bruce Feiler

  • Article Directory on Daily Beast, Huffpost, and Slate

  • The Moth - “The Council of Dads” by Bruce Feiler (14 minute storytelling piece)

  • [Radio Interview] KUER 90.1 - Author Bruce Feiler On Life-Altering Transitions

  • [Podcast] Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel - Mastering Change with Author Bruce Feiler

  • [Podcast] How To! With Charles Duhigg - How To Tame a Chaotic Household

  • [Podcast] Art of Manliness - Art of Manliness Podcast #82: The Secrets of Happy Families With Bruce Feiler

Videos

  • Good Morning America - Bruce Feiler talks new book, ‘Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age’

  • Politics and Prose - P&P Live! Bruce Feiler | Life Is in the Transitions with Campbell Brown

  • TED - Bruce Feiler: Agile programming -- for your family

    • Bruce Feiler: The council of dads

    • TEDxEast - Bruce Feiler - 05/07/10

  • Big Think - All Families Fight. Learn to Fight Smarter, with Bruce Feiler

  • Talks at Google - Authors@Google: Bruce Feiler

Books

  • Amazon Author Page

  • Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age  by Bruce Feiler

  • The Council of Dads: My Daughters, My Illness, and the Men Who Could Be Me by Bruce Feiler

  • The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Rethink Family Dinner, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More by Bruce Feiler

  • America’s Prophet: How the Story of Moses Shaped America by Bruce Feiler

  • Where God Was Born: A Daring Adventure Through the Bible’s Greatest Stories by Bruce Feiler

  • Abraham: A Journey to the Heart of Three Faiths by Bruce Feiler

  • Walking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through the Five Books of Moses by Bruce Feiler

  • The First Love Story: A Journey Through the Tangled Lives of Adam and Eve  by Bruce Feiler

  • Looking for Class: Days and Nights at Oxford and Cambridge by Bruce Feiler

  • Learning to Bow: An American Teacher in a Japanese School by Bruce Feiler

  • Dreaming Out Loud: Garth Brooks, Wynonna Judd, Wade Hayes, by Bruce Feiler

  • Under the Big Top: A Season with the Circus by Bruce Feiler

  • Generation Freedom: The Middle East Uprisings and the Remaking of the Modern World by Bruce Feiler

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fable. 

[00:00:19] AF: Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number on evidence-based growth podcast on the internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners just like you in over 100 countries. In this interview, we dig deep into how you can navigate huge life transitions called lifequakes, with our guest, Bruce Feiler. Very relevant topic for now. Obviously, this is being recorded in the middle of a pandemic. There’re a lot of life changes happening. So we were very happy to have Bruce on to discuss how we could handle these transitions to whatever life may be like after this pandemic and during as well. 

In the past, people thought navigating transitions was really an art. However, as Bruce is going to share in this interview, it’s actually much more of a science. We also dig in to how to find meaning in life and much, much more with our guest, Bruce Feiler. 

Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying our interviews with the world's top experts? I hope so. And if so, you need to head to successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list. You will receive a ton of exclusive subscriber content as well as our free course we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time For What Matters Most in Your Life. You'll get that and so much more value and content on a weekly basis directly from myself, Matt, and the rest of our team. Sign up now at successpodcast.com. Or if you're on the move, no worries, just text 44222 to SMARTER. That's S-M-A-R-T-E-R on your phone to subscribe on the go. 

Last week, we dug into how to become an effective leader and crack the leadership code with Alain Hunkins. If you want to know how to become a more confident and impactful leader, check out that interview today. 

Now, a bit of a personal announcement. Matt and I read every piece of mail you send our way. We also read every single form you submit from the website. And one of the biggest request we’ve gotten in the past month is that Austin improved his audio quality. Some saying it quite politely. Some just saying, “Austin’s audio quality sucks.” I’m here to tell you, I understand, and I sympathize and we’re going to fix it. I’ve got a new mic on the way. So expect the audio quality from my interviews to skyrocket here in the next week. But we do appreciate you reaching out with a feedback. That’s how we continuously improve the show. We read every piece that comes our way. So, thank you for your feedback. And rest assured, it’s being corrected. 

Now, back to Bruce. Bruce Feiler is an author speaker and television personality. He’s the author of 15 books including – Now, get this. Six consecutive New York Times bestsellers. He’s the presenter of two primetime series on PBS and the inspiration for the drama series, Council of Dads on NBC. Bruce has two TED Talks that have been viewed more than 2 million times. And his newest book, Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age, Bruce describes his journey across America collecting hundreds of life stories and exploring how we can navigate the growing number of life transitions that we experience with greater purpose and skill. 

Without further ado, here is our interview with Bruce Feiler. Bruce describes his journey across America collecting hundreds of life stories and exploring how we can navigate the growing number of life transitions that we experience with greater purpose and skill. 

Without further ado, here is our interview with Bruce Feiler. 

[00:03:30] AF: Bruce, welcome to the Science of Success. 

[00:03:33] BF: Thank you, Austin. Thank you for having me. Nice to be with you.

[00:03:36] AF: Yeah, it’s great to have you on. And I think your book Life Is in the Transitions is such a timely release right now. And I want to dig in. But before we do, go ahead and just give us a little bit of your background. I know you’ve written six consecutive New York Times bestsellers. You’ve got quite the portfolio. So just for listeners who may not be familiar with your past work, just tell us a little bit about your journey.

[00:03:54] BF: I grew up in Savanna, Georgia. So I grew up around storytelling. That’s always been a huge part of my life. And I left the south and went to north to college and I found that I learned more about myself as a southerner by living in the south and going to the north. This was back in the 80s in the age of discount airfare. And I thought, “Well, I should learn about myself as an American.” So I moved to Japan and I was living with a family in the middle of nowhere. I was the only foreigner in a town of 2,000 people. I was kind of like the town pet. And I started writing letters home. You probably don’t remember this, Austin, but there was this thing called paper, like you write letters. In fact, air mail paper was very thin and there were no lines to it. And in the back of every pad of air mail paper, it used to have lines so you could keep a straight line and you have to stick it in and then you would go underneath the next line. 

So I wrote a whole series of letters home like, “You’re not going to believe what happened to me.” And when I got back to Georgia six months later, everywhere I went people said, “I love your letters.” I was like, “Great. Have we met?” And it turned out that my grandmother has Xeroxed them and passed them around and they went viral in the sort of 1980 sense of the word. And I felt, “Wow! If this is that interesting to all these people, I should write a book about this. I didn’t know anyone who’d written a book.” And it doesn’t really happen this way. But I sold my first book at 24, and this is the only thing I’ve ever done since. 

So I kind of discovered early in my life what I wanted to do. I did it for no money in my 20s. I wrote books about Japan and England. I spent a year, I was a circus clown. I moved to Nashville, not far from where you are as we speak. Wrote a book about country music. Spent a year traveling around with Garth Brooks and Winona, and a bunch of gold young stars. Somewhere while I was living in Nashville, I got very interested in the bible because of maybe the country music if at all. And I thought, “I should know more about the bible.” So I took my bible off my shelf and put it by my bed and it sat there untouched for a couple of years. 

And then I went to see an old friend in Jerusalem. And on my first day, my friend said, “Over here is this controversial neighborhood, and over there is the rock where Abraham went to sacrifice Isaac.” I thought, “Whoa! These are real places you can touch and feel.” Funny, you talk about evidence-based success. I’m like, “There’s evidence of these stories?” I was kind of mixing those things in my mind. So I thought, “Well, here’s an idea. What if I travel along the route and read the bible along the way?” No one thought this was a good idea, but I did it anyway. I climbed Mt. Ararat looking for Noah’s Ark, and across the Red Sea, I tasted manna, and I wrote a book called Walking the Bible. Boom! Like just became my thing. I would spend a year and half on the bestseller list. I was a joke on the Tonight’s Show. I was a question on Jeopardy. I mean, it was just everything happened. And I did this back and forth in my 30s. I ended up writing a series of books and hosting a bunch of television. And that was my life. And it might have been my life until now. I got married. I had children. But then in my 40s, I just got walloped by life, and that really is sort of what set me off on this journey.

[00:06:44] AF: So, I want to dig in more to the recent journey, but I’ve heard a rumor. Are you a big fan of Joseph Campbell? 

[00:06:50] BF: Well, yes and no. I mean, I do like the idea of old wisdom and new stories and I like the idea that you can tease-out certain sort of themes and patterns and stories and that they affect the stories of our lives. But there’s also something about Campbell that I’m a bit grumpy about, which is the rigidity of the hero’s journey that every journey has to follow a kind of certain path. Already, that’s been criticized. It’s not really applying to the paths of many women. 

And so kind of what became a lot of the foundation of this new book was a little bit pushing back against some of Campbell’s. So in some ways, I’m influenced by him. But in some ways, I’m pushing back against him.

[00:07:35] AF: Yeah, that’s a great insight there. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve read about Joseph Campbell’s work, but I do have the Hero of a Thousand Face and Power of Myth, although admittedly, a little bit more high-level probably than yourself. 

So, let’s dig in here. Tell us about the journey that kind of kicked you off to writing Life Is in the Transitions. I know that you took a cross-country tour, interviewed hundreds of people about transitions in their lives. But what kind of kicked-off this journey for you? 

[00:07:57] BF: So I was saying earlier, kind of the way I think about this now, and this grows out of the conversation we’re just having about Joseph Campbell, is I think of my life as having a linear path, okay? I discover what I wanted to do early. I did it for no money. I have some success. I got married and I got children. That’s the kind of fantasy of the fairytale, the superhero, the kind of iconic ascending life story that we were all told and many of us would like to believe is the life we’re going to live. 

But then I just got walloped by life. As you know, I got cancer as a 43-year-old new dad. I asked a group of friends to form a council of dads and wrote a book about that. It became an NBC series this year. I almost went bankrupt in the recession. My family owned real estate, and that was hit very hard. And then my dad who has Parkinson’s got very depressed and tried to take his own life. Six times in 12 weeks, he tried to commit suicide.  

The conversations you have in that time are unhavable as a family and we were struggling with business, and we were struggling with medicine. But I’m the story guy. I’m the meaning guy? I’m the Campbell guy and the bible guy and I thought, “Well, here’s an idea.” And so one Monday morning, on a whim, I send my dad a question about his life. Tell me about the toys you played with as a kid. He couldn’t move his fingers, but he thought about it all week. He dictated it to Siri. Siri spit it out. And it worked for the first in weeks. Something happened. And then I sent another one. Tell me about the house you grew up in. And this went on, Austin, week after week. Tell me about how did you become an Eagle Scout. How did you join the Navy? How did you meet mom? This man who would never written anything longer than a memo in his life backed into writing an autobiography, and it was this incredibly powerful change. 

And whenever I would tell somebody about it, they would have a similar story. My wife had a headache, went into the hospital and died. My boss is a crook. My daughter tried to cut herself. My brother got diagnosed with stage IV cancer. And what everybody was saying in one way or the other was the same thing. Like the life I’m living is not the life I expected. I’m living life out of order. 

And one day I called my wife and I said, “You know what? No one knows how to tell their life story anymore.” We all are getting so beaten up by life and we don’t really expect it and it’s a pattern that we don’t understand. It’s not that linear thing that we’ve been led to expect. It’s not all the hero’s journey. I have to figure out how I can help. 

And what I did was I created this thing, as you said, called the Life Story Project, and I crisscrossed the country collecting what became hundreds of life stories of Americans of all ages, all walks of life, all 50 states. People who lost homes, lost limbs, changed careers, changed religions, got sober, got out of bad marriages. In the end, I had a thousand hours of interviews. You’re an audio guy. You can appreciate that. 6,000 pages of transcripts, and now here we get to the science of it all. And then I did something I had not done in decades of writing books, which I then got a team of 12 people and we spent a year coding these stories, combing through them. Turning these qualitative stories into quantitative data. Analyzing them on 57 different variables, high point, turning point. What kinds of transitions do we have? How long they last? What’s the best advice from friends to get through them? What’s the biggest emotion that we struggled with? I built this huge database of how we navigate difficult times. And I just got to tell you, I’ve been working on this book for half a decade and here it arrives at this moment when the entire planet is going through a lifequake as I call it, and we are all – Each of us, everybody listening to this conversation, is going through a transition of some kind. 

It’s almost eerie, and that’s why I think the response to this book has been almost like viscerally, “Oh my God! This is what I need.” That’s why we’ve been through four printings in 10 days, and people are just like, “This is the book that we need. And I wish I could have predicted it in a certain way.” But here we are.  

[00:11:50] AF: Yeah. I mean, it couldn’t be more timely. And I do want to dig in to, because I know you’ve done some work around happiness of the family unit and different things too. And I think it all kind of ties together. But definitely a weird kind of thing from the universe to have this book come out when it did. 

I’m curious too from a logistical standpoint. I’ve always been really interested. Of course, we’re in a data here too and we’ve done a couple projects similar to where we’ve compiled thousands of studies and tens of thousands of pages of transcripts. What was it like to find these people? Did you just post up kind of like Anthony Bourdain style at a bar and find people in transitions? Was there a process to getting in contact with them ahead of time? How did you find people that had these transitions that you could come in and speak with them with about? 

[00:12:31] BF: I started very locally, right? All politics as well. I started with people that I knew who had been through interesting transitions. Then everybody that I met, like if I had seen you, or we’d have this conversation three years ago. All of a sudden, “So, who do you know? Who’s been through an interesting life transitions?” Then there are some coupe dimensions here. One point I said to my wife, “I think I’ll do people only over 40.” Because I’m like, “I want people who’ve been beaten up by life.” And she said, “No. You’re wrong.” My wife who, Linda Rotenberg is her name. She runs an organization that supports entrepreneur in 40 countries around the world. And she has about 500 millennials working for her in every corner of the globe. And she’s like, “No. You’re wrong. Everybody has a life story. And even these people in their 20s and 30s that I work with, they also have been beaten up by life.” So she’s the one who said, “Forget that idea. Do everybody.” And she was right. 

So about two months in, I had been doing this kind of organically. She walks into my office one day here in our home in Brooklyn and I said, “Linda, I think I can get 25 states.” And this would tell you a lot about my marriage. She said, “Get 50 or shut up.” And then walked out of the room. At that point I realized I have to be more intentional. 

So at the end of conversation, I would say this. I then I wanted to make sure obviously that I met all the demographics and diversity and those kinds of questions. And then what would happen, Austin, is I would be – I don’t know if this happens to you since you are reaching out to all sorts of people. I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would think, “Oh, I need somebody who had a white collar job who then became a farmer.” And it turns out there’s an association that helps people. So I have a former model who became a lettuce farmer. I have a former veteran in Iraq who is blown up by an IED and had narcolepsy, and then he’s a farmer in North Carolina. 

So, like I would come up with a category of something that I want and then I would go seeking the people out. And then I put it on social media and it sort of metastasized, and in the end I didn’t have any trouble finding people. Delaware was hard, actually. But the senator of Delaware actually turned out to have gone to law school with my wife. And I wrote to him and I said, “Will you help me find somebody in Delaware?” He said, “I’ll do it.” So, I have a sitting US senator.  

[00:14:35] AF: Man! It’s just like classic referrals and working the connection list it sounds like. 

[00:14:40] BF: But the people, the variety of experiences. I mean, I have poor people who died and came back to life. A quarter of my stories involve addiction of some kind. I have people who were in cults, former white supremacists. I mean, national country music singer became a pastor. A two-time cancer survivor who climbed Mt. Everest. The army interpreter who found Saddam Hussein. So, the diversity is just astonishing. But that’s what the coding found. 

What the coding found – And actually something else that I would say that went wrong in the course of this is that I assume going in that how you handle a work setback – Or we can get into this in a second. A lifequake as I call it. How you handle the work lifequake, versus a family lifequake, versus losing your legs, versus facing an addiction. Each of them would be different. And it turned out that I was just flat wrong. The toolkit, the structure of these life transitions are similar. The tools are similar. And that ended up being one of the revelations. Where the science came in was finding out that there is a structure. It’s not how we’ve been told they work. Once you understand that structure, you can navigate these transitions more effectively. There are tools you can use and they are the same across gender, across age, across the types of transitions. And that’s what's exciting that my book unveils. The first new model for how to navigate life transitions in 50 years.

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[00:17:14] AF: That’s so fascinating, and it’s definitely a tee-up for the question. So, share with us. What are some of the main takeaways and some of the main tools in this toolkit that kind of universally expands how we can handle transitions?

[00:17:24] BF: Let’s work our way to the toolkit and let’s just take a step back. The big idea that emerged from all of these data analytics and from the spreadsheet is that the linear life is dead, okay? What I mean by a linear life is every culture, it turned out that with moment in this process where like I pulled a book off a shelf and the whole bookcase open and it turned out that was a whole another library that I had never been invited into. And like what I found in that other room, which is an idea that is new to me, but that I really become quite passionate about, which is the idea that every culture kind of has a paradigmatic life course that people are expected to follow. So, in the ancient world, they – Back to your Campbell, or the Bible, or a Scripture, any of these things. They didn't have linear time. So they thought that life was a cycle. That's what they understood, like farming, right? Every season, turn, turn, turn. 

By the Middle Ages, they believe [inaudible 00:18:16] of course I have as you’ve seen in the book these images, they believe the life is a staircase up to middle-age and then a staircase down. So straight up, then straight down. That means no new love at 40. No new career at 50. No retiring and moving and starting a new venture in your 60s. Like straight up. Straight down. Incredibly unforgiving. 

And what's interesting about that is that's exactly the inverse of what we were told in the 20th century, which is that life is a trough at middle-age, and then you climb out of it, right? Since the birth of science, now we can geek- out about the science here for a second. Since the birth of science 100+ years ago, everything kind of modeled on the industrial backbone of the economy was linear. So, Piaget says childhood development goes in stages. Freud says there’s psychosexual stages. Erickson, the eight stages of development. In fact, Erickson says this is modeled on the conveyor belt, the industrial kind of line of production. The five stages of grief. He hero’s journey. These are all linear constructs of life. 

And this reaches its peak in the 70s, a New York magazine writer named Gail Sheehy writes a book called Passages, which I often – In my generation, it’s the book our mothers all read. For you, it might be a book that your grandmother read. But Passages sold 20 million copies and was one of the 20 bestselling books of the 20th century. And it says everyone does the same thing in their 20s, in their 30s. And everybody has a midlife crisis at 39 and a half. And we can kind of chuckle at it now, but the idea of the midlife crisis, which I'm sure everybody just kind of believes is true, was popularized by this book. This all turns out to be bunk. It's just not true. But even in my conversations, people said, “Oh, I had my first midlife crisis at 27-1/2. Or I had my first midlife crisis at 54.” That will tell you how inelastic and inexact this is as a scientific matter. 

So that linear life, which manifests itself certainly in my generation is the idea that you’re going to have one job, one home, one relationship, one spirituality. One source of happiness. You are going to be a type. You’re going to have one of everything. That's all gone, and it's been replaced by what I call in this book the nonlinear life. And that involves many more changes. So that my data show that we go through three dozen what I call disruptors in the course of our lives. And these disruptors can be as small as moving, having an accident, spraining your ankle, or as big as getting cancer, losing your job, or a tornado, a pandemic. Most of these disruptors, there's 52 of them, is the category. I call them the deck of disruptors. 

So we go to one disrupter every 12 to 18 months. I mean, that's more often than most people see a dentist. And most of them will get through, but 1 in 10 of them becomes a massive life change. And that's what I call a lifequake. The lifequake is kind of bigger on the Richter scale of consequences and has aftershocks that last for years. And the signature piece of data is that it takes us five years to get through the life transitions that come out of that. And so you think 3 to 5 times in our lives, we go through a lifequake. It takes us four, five, six years to get through. That’s 25 years. That’s half of our adult lives that we’re going through a transition. You or someone you know, someone in your household, someone in your family is going through one right now. That was the idea. And then this book comes out at the moment when, “Hello! We’re all going through them.” And that’s what’s so fascinating, and that then leads us to the tools and how to get through them. But what we’re going to now, what we’re experiencing is a life quake. In this case, it's an involuntary lifequake, though some of them are in fact volunteer. 

[00:22:05] AF: There's a lot to impact there, and I’m curious too. You had mention something before we started recording about how different generations kind of embraced this thought that we don't live linear lives. And when you go through the list of the things that people expected to have in their linear life. I mean, I think through jobs, spirituality. Not trends, because that almost seems to be kind of below like a transition. But I can definitely see in my life that it is not linear. I mean, nothing about my life has been linear. But is there a reason that maybe older generations might hold on to this view of the linear life more than like, say, a millennial newer. Or is it kind of like the way we were raised, the way we were taught to deal with transitions? Or maybe avoid transitions. Or avoid the emotional side?

[00:22:49] BF: There are five storylines in my book; love, work, body, identity and beliefs. People tend to become of linear in parts of their lives and nonlinear. If you had a linear – Are you in an interfaith marriage? Like half of Americans, for example, are an interfaith or interdenominational marriage. If you've moved a lot, I think, in your life. So you’ve have nonlinear professional, nonlinear beliefs maybe. But maybe a linear relationship, right? You’ve been in the same relationship for a while. 

[00:23:16] AF: Yeah. I’ve been in the same relationship for years and just had a kid. But when you think about it, like you hit the nail on the head for a number of things. I started working when I was in high school. I had different jobs in college. I had a job that moved me around afterwards. When it comes to moving, I mean, my parents got divorced when I was in high school. I think we lived in five or six different houses during the four years I was in high school. When I started reading Joseph Campbell, weirdly enough, it kind of like opened up my eyes. It’s not a way to say it, but sort of exploring down like different faiths, right? Questioning why is the reason that I have this faith? Was because I was born into it and that's what I was told to believe. And I'm still a Christian, but I went through a phase in college. And afterwards where I like heavily investigated all these beliefs that I’d had, right? 

I almost kind of embrace nonlinear in some aspects, but then if you look like my marriage, I love the linear aspect of that, right? It’s just certain different things. But I just feel like it's almost a foregone, a conclusion for me. I would assume life is not linear. But then I look at some different generations, different people I know, and it's almost kind of like revered to have a linear life. 

[00:24:21] BF: Here's what I hear in that story. Remember, this all began with my collecting life stories and having conversations like the one that you just shared in part, except the ones [inaudible 00:24:31] were two, three, four hours. So what I would say, one of the unexpected things for me was that this idea of nonlinearity, that there is change. That X-ers get this much more intuitively than boomers. And millennials much more intuitively than the Gen-X-ers. Okay? I think there's a lot of reasons for this, right? So your generation, the peak year for divorce in America is 979. Therefore, your generation grew up kind of in a post normalizing of divorce culture. Right there, once you do that, once you go through that, that is a defining nonlinear experience in your life at a very definitional moment in your life, which allows you to be open to more nonlinear explorations. Okay? 

But then also because you had nonlinearity in your relationship, like growing up, perhaps that's why you sought out linearity in your relationships today. Okay? But by all of these metrics, that's what I would hear in that story, right? So what's interesting about this to me, every metric, as I said, half of Americans change faith in the course of their lives. 4 in 10 Americans are interfaith marriage. Millennials will have 15.2 jobs and 11.7 moves. We know that openness to sexual fluidity. There are 72 different gender identifications on Facebook. Okay? So your generation grew up with sexual fluidity, sexual identity, transgender, interracial relationships. A whole series of things that would've been completely anathema or unheard-of when I, who was born in 1964, was growing up. 

And so one of the interesting things that I uncovered in working on the life story project, as I called it, and then what became the book Life Is in the Transitions, is that there is what I call a transition gap between baby boomers, 60 something parents and their millennial children in their 20s and 30s. So the parents are looking at their children and saying, “Wait a minute. Wait. You’re having a baby before you get married?” Or like, “Your quitting one job when you don’t even know what the next job is going to be?” Or,“You're moving to a new town when you don't even know what you would do when you would get there?” 

One of the reasons for this coming transition gap is that the boomers are still haunted by the ghost of linearity. So we, the people in their 50s and 60s and 70s grew up at a time where these kinds of job hopping, relationship changing, sexual orientation, morphing, experimentation with faith, moving around. All these different things, they were not told that. So they still are haunted by it. They’re still living the same nonlinear life, but it's harder for them. 

[00:27:09] AF: Yeah, I think I see that, and that makes a ton of sense. I want to just transition a little bit and give the people what they want. But let's take in some of these tools and the toolkit of how we can better handle transitions. If I'm dealing with a transition right now, which I think we all are in some degrees with COVID and the lack of hanging out in-person socially. What can we do to make these transitions easier?

[00:27:31] BF: Okay. The first thing I would say is that the lifequake that you experience might be voluntary or involuntary. Okay? You guys like data? Here are some data. 47% of the lifequakes that we go through are voluntary. Okay? That means we change jobs. We move. We choose to have a child. We cheat on our spouse. 53% are involuntary. Our spouse cheats on us. We get fired from a job. We go through a hurricane. A pandemic arrives. 

Now, it's interesting. I mentioned earlier, I’m technically kind of a tail end of the baby boomer. But, really, I'm on the cusp between the boomers and the X-ers. I looked at this and was like, “Whoa! 47%. Yeah, cool! We still have control over our lives. I have these 12 coders I mentioned earlier. They were all millennials. They were like, “Whoa! 53% of lifequakes in our life are involuntary. Really? I can’t control my life?” They were like upset by that. But they're not old enough to have had kids with special needs, or to lose a job, or to have a parent have cancer at an inopportune time or a spouse. 

But my reason for going through that was to say a lifequake can be voluntary or involuntary, but the life transition must be voluntary. You have to make the choice to lean in and go through the steps. Step number one, we’re all on this lifequake now and we’re going to be for a couple of years. It's deceptive. We’re all going through this together, but the wife transition that we’re all going to do is going to be different. Someone might have lost a job. Someone else may have lost a loved one. Somebody else may need to move or downside. Somebody else might be the primary caretaker for a child, and something that child is not going to school. And you have to rejigger the parenting responsibilities. 

So the life are voluntary or involuntary, but the transition has to be voluntary. Now, once you get into that transition, you're likely to feel one of two things. Either chaotic and out of control. Like I need to make a 217 point to-do-list and I need to go into it and I'm going to master it and be the king of my domain, or the queen of my domain. Or you feel sluggish and stuck in place and you’re in a fetal position on your bed, like you just can't move. The reason this is because you think I'm the only one going through this. I'm never going to make. And I have no idea what to do. 

Here, in this regard, I'm here to help. Because when you look at enough of them as I have done and certain patterns do appear. So the first pattern is that life transitions involve three-phases. And the three phases are the long goodbye where you say goodbye to the old you, the old way of life. The messy middle, where you shed certain habits and create new habits. And the new beginning where you unveil your new self. So, now, for the first century, the reason I said this is the first new model for life transitions is everybody who’s talked about this, going back to the German anthropologist hundred years ago who invented the phrase rites of passage. Everybody said that it's a line. First, you say goodbye, then you go to the betwixt and between, and then you have the new beginning. That turns out to be just wrong. Each of us is good at one of these three phases and we’re bad at one. 

The good is what I call your transition superpower and your transition kryptonite. For example, the long goodbye. I don’t know, 37%, I think. I don't have the numbers right in front of me. Around that, 37%, 39%. Say, this is their most difficult phase because they’re people pleasers. They like it. They don't want to admit that they're not going back. Think about the pandemic. For the first few months, we all thought we were going to go back. Now we know we’re not going back. 

But some people are good. I talked to a woman, Nina Collins, a biracial. Her mother died when she was 19. She had to raise her younger brother. She’s gone on to have three marriages and multiple – Twice as many jobs. And she said, “I'm good at saying goodbye, because my mother died early. I under attach to things and then I get stuck in the middle.” 

I talked to a guy name Rob Adams who was hired to run the Simon Pierce Glass Company. It’s a family company in Vermont. He starts a month after the Great Recession. Sales dropped by a quarter in the first month. And so he's like, “I was bad at saying goodbye. I wanted this job. I just moved my family. I liked being a leader. I liked my colleagues. But once I got to the messy middle, it turns I am good. I made list. I called people.” Within a few months, he moved his family to Africa to run a nonprofit. 

There are even people who were bad at the new beginnings. So the worst, I think, 49% in my study were the worst at the messy middle. 37% were worst at the long goodbye, and that leaves 13%, if I’ve done my correctly, who were bad at the new beginning. And you think everybody would like that because through it. I talked to a woman, Lisa Ludovici. Grew up in a broken home. Father was estranged. Mother didn't even come to her college graduation. She was homeless for a while. She went to work for America Online when it was nothing. And then became a huge Internet ad executive. She had three migraines a week from age 3 to 43. And then she logs on to a conference call one day. Her colleagues are complaining how sour she is. She walks in the next they, quits on the spot. Cuts her cable. Doesn't go shopping. Doesn't go out to eat. Saves her pennies. She's watching local access television. She sees somebody say that they help people live better lives. She's like, “That's what I want to do.” 

She enrolls in a life coach school. Moved to Santa Fe. On day one, her head is on the desk and the teacher says, “What are you doing?” She says like, “Oh, don’t worry. I'm just having a migraine. I’ve had three a week for 40 years.” Teacher says, “Come with me.” Takes her back into the office preterm. Puts her in a chair. Hypnotizes her. Liza’s never had a migraine since today. She's the country's leading medical hypnotist. And she works with military veterans and she said, “I have this amazing life. I went to this, frankly, incredible transition.” She was embarrassed to update her LinkedIn profile because she thought her friends would think it was a weird. So she writes and rewrites it for six months until she finally presses send and she's then liberated. One of the things I try to do in the book is walk you through figuring out which of these three phases you’re good at. Let’s start you there. Let’s build up some confidence, and then you work your way to the part that you’re less good at. 

[00:33:28] AF: It’s interesting. I mean, embracing the new self, like you said, just seems like something that wouldn’t be that difficult visit. This kind of implies you've been through the journey. But now that you share that story, I'm thinking of all sorts of friends who have had their struggles and found some modicum of success but like don't want to post on social media. They’re like, “Told Bruce about what you’ve been doing.” And they’re like, “Bruce doesn't want to hear that.” Even like if it is a perfect introduction. It's almost kind embracing the other end. It's not embarrassment necessarily, but it's a lack of comfort. 

[00:33:57] BF: Okay. Let’s talk about this. You talk about the tools. So then I have within these three phases, I've got seven tools. You just brought up the first one. And I'm glad you brought it up, because the first one is you have to accept that you're in this situation and the emotions that you're dealing with. I looked hundreds of people in the eye and I said – Having a conversation. Just like this, “Okay, Austin. What’s the biggest emotion that you struggled with during your transition?” 

Let me just ask you. Think of a transition. One of these, exploring your faith, or moving, your – What was the biggest emotion that you’ve struggled with in times of change? Oh, man. Bruce. On the spot here, but I love it. I got to say – 

[00:34:36] BF: You became a dad. What was the biggest emotion you struggled with when you became a dad recently?

[00:34:39] AF: Anxiety. I thought for sure I would be a dad that was like very much, “Oh, I’ll let him run around and let them fall down. No big deal. But I've got a 19-month-old little girl and I struggled to let her walk 10 feet on the playground without me being right next to her. It's taken me very much by surprise. I thought I'd be like the cool, relaxed parent, but I think I'm the exact opposite.

[00:35:01] BF: Number one thing people struggle with is fear. Fear of the unknown. Is something going to go wrong? Can I pay the bills? Am I going to be sick? Number one, fear. Number two, sadness, okay? I like the old life. I liked that job. I liked when I could go out with my friends. I liked being single and having my partner to myself. And then suddenly there is a 19-month-old in the picture. Number two, sadness. Number three, may be want to bring up this one. You mentioned this earlier. Number three, shame. This was a little surprising to me, but it was so – People are ashamed. Oh my gosh! I can't believe I drank so much, and I made a jack ass out of myself. Or I can't believe I lost my job. Or I'm ashamed that my child, a special needs, or has an addiction. Or I'm ashamed that I can’t afford this house anymore and I have to downsize. So, it’s shame. The first tool is to accept it, right? To identify this emotion. Say it out loud. Just even having you say that out loud is empowering, right? When you share something, you feel better about it. One of the later tools is sharing it. 

But the second is how do people market and like tame it? Some people write it down. Talked to a woman who left a corporate job to move to Main to help people manage their second homes. And she wrote her fears down so every morning she would see them. Some people do what I would do, which is buckle down. Stop whining, kid, and just work your way through it. But 80% of people, Austin, 8-0 use a ritual of some kind. Okay? They hold a farewell ceremony. They burry something in the backyard.

I talked to a guy, of the day. I talked to a guy, Fred [inaudible 00:36:38], who’s in a loveless marriage for 30 years just up north of you in Kentucky. And he got out, came out as gay. And he went to sweat lodge to like [inaudible 00:36:46] his old life out of him. I talked to woman, Lisa Ray Rosenberg. Had an awful year. She was a bone marrow donor to her brother. She had a big falling out with her mother. She lived in Southern California. She went on 52 first dates. She actually made a spreadsheet of everything she worn every first date, because she only went on seven second dates and she didn’t want to wear the second thing on a second date. She's like, “This is not working. I got to do something.” Her biggest fear was heights. She jumped out of an airplane. A year later she was married with a child. So we need to take your anxiety, your fear and we need to do something with it, right? Because it's going to sit there until you do something with it. 

Maybe your bad at saying goodbye. Or maybe you're good because you’ve said goodbye a lot and you're stuck in the middle. I don't know. But we got to do something with this fear. And maybe your daughter needs to get a bloody knee and you're going to find out the that's part of a life and it will toughen her up and you can stop being so overprotective. But you have to do something, some ritual that will mark kind of – That will contain it and tame it and say to yourself and to others, “I'm like leaving that old self behind, and now I'm going in to the new self.” Because if you don't do this now and you got 15-year-olds as I do – I have 15-year-old [inaudible 00:37:57] girl. And they’re now going out and you’re not going to be hovering over them. 

So, rituals, that was an interesting things. The first of these tools is accept it, and the second is to market it in some way. To contain it to say the past is past. I'm not going back there. Now, I got to go into the messy middle to come. 

[00:38:14] AF: So you're telling me that it's not socially acceptable for me to tag along on a 15-year-old date? Because I was planning on it. You’re telling me that’s not allowed?

[00:38:23] BF: I'm saying it's not in your daughter's interest nor [inaudible 00:38:25] interest. You mention my parenting. I did write a book, The Secret of Happy Families, about this. And yes, your job as a parent, it’s very unusual. Your job when your child is born, your child is entirely dependent on you and your job is to put yourself out of business. Your job is to make your child independent from you. And only the way you’re going to do that is to give your child more control over their at a major appropriate way, kind of one step at a time. But yes, your job is to make yourself obsolete. 

[00:38:51] AF: Well said. 

[00:38:56] AF: How do you start up when the world is upside down? Sit Down Startup is a his new weekly podcast from Zendesk. The startup’s team brings together entrepreneurs, founders and CEOs to discuss the latest business challenges and how to put customer experience at the heart of that success. Here from people that understand unpredictability in a coffee shop style conversation. Catch weekly episodes on Apple, Google, and Spotify. 

[00:39:27] AF: I want to encourage people to go and check out the book, Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age. But before we go, there was one other tool that I found in my research that I thought was pretty interesting, and it’s share it. So, seek wisdom from others. I'm curious too, because as someone who’ very selective on who I get advice from and also what I really share my deepest thoughts and emotions with, how can we make sure there we’re not only likes seeking the wisdom from the appropriate parties, but that we’re also sharing the deeper parts of us with people that deserve to have it?

[00:40:00] BF: Well, first of all, that’s extremely well said. And I will say, guess what? I got some data on that. So let me work my way to it. The long goodbye is marked and accepted. In the messy middle, there're basically two things, and there's too much more about this in the book. You shed certain habits and you create new habits. People turn to incredible creativity. They sing, they dance, they write. It’s just powerful. Love those stories. And in the new beginning, you ritualize the end of the transition and you unveil your new self. And then these tools, six of them are more or less attached to kind of one of the three phases. But the one you just brought up, share it, is not connected to any of the phases, because for some people it's like once. And for some people it’s all the time. 

Listening to you, you might be the person who doesn't want to share it at every step along the way. But there will be a moment in the middle where you share that you have an anxiety about your 19-month-old. And then someone comes into your life and gives you a piece of advice. People talk about these magical outsiders that come in and give them a piece of information or introduce them to somebody, or listen at the right moment that they just need it at that moment. See you might be that time.

But I asked everybody, did you get a piece of advice from a friend, or a loved one, or mentor that was very helpful? And I was surprised that the answers were different. So I I set out to quantify it. And what I found was that we have a phenotype of what kind of advice do we like? Some people like – And I’m going to ask you in a second. So you might well listen which one you're like. So some people like comforters, “I love you, Austin. I trust you. You’ll get through it, buddy. I know. I’m cheering you on.” That was the most popular, but it’s not everybody. Some people like nudgers, “I love you, Austin, but maybe you should try this, or maybe you should sit down and let your daughter bump her head, because it will be fine. Or maybe you should go on match.com. Or maybe you should go to AA. Or maybe it's time to look for new job.” So that's the second most popular. So comforters are the most popular. Nudgers, next. 

And then some, I’m kind of like this myself. They like slappers, like, “I love you, Austin. But get over yourself. I’m tired of you whining. I'm just not going to listen to this anymore. Go do this.” And I learned this because somebody was sitting in my office where I’m talking to you from right now and she was telling me a story. She lost both of her parents and a job. she thought she was going to cover the company, and she didn't. And she said, “Yeah, I was sitting there wining to one of my friends one day and she slapped me like Chare slaps Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck.” So I was like, “Oh my God! Slapper. That’s a category.” People have different phenotypes. Before I give you the piece of advice that you asked for, so which one are you?

[00:42:34] AF: I think for people that I'm having conversations with that are like various service-level, I think I'm like the majority, comforters. If it’s just someone I don't know that well and it’s like, “Okay. Yeah, I appreciate the warm and fuzzy feelings.” When it comes to someone that I’m really going to take their feedback to heart, I actually prefer a slapper. Because if I'm not doing the right thing and it's coming from the source that I trust to give me that information, then I'd like to know if I'm doing something wrong, or at least get that feedback. 

If someone that's like a dinner party and we’re just sharing things, comforters are fine. If I'm having a deep conversation with a mentor or a family member that I highly respect, I respect the slapper. And I caveat. I may not always agree with you, but I appreciate that kind of advice. 

[00:43:15] BF: Okay. This is an interesting diameter. First of all, I think that I'm similar. From my wife, sometimes I just want comfort. I want to believe that I'm a good person and that I can get through it. And then once I feel secure, I can take slapping. But what did I do? You told me you made yourself vulnerable. Not by choice. But I pulled it out of you when you collect hundreds of life stories. We’re good at that. And you told me that you felt anxious and fearful about being a dad. And what did I do? I probably nudged you, right? I said, “You’re going to have to pull back a little bit,” right? 

The mistake that I make in this dynamic is I assume you want nudging. Okay? So the question I think you ask me. I can't remember exactly how you phrased it, which is what do we do? The answer is don't assume that the kind of feedback you want from a loved one is the type of feedback to the person you're talking to wants. In fact, you could just simply ask. Would you like me to comfort you? Nudge you? Or slap you? I mean, even that is an empowering thing. 

This leads to an interesting point, Austin, which is we were talking earlier that this book has arrived at this moment when we’re all in a life transition. And I in no way expected that to happen. But I've learned something interesting like. One of the reasons that this book has I think exploded is because so many of us are going through a transition, and this book is helpful. But bigger audience turns out to be people who were co-piloting someone else going through a transition. So not only is it isolating and you feel alone and just against the world. When I had cancer, I would look out my window I would think you can walk and you could walk, and I'm on crutches for two years and none of you understand what I'm going through. You feel isolated and alone. But if you have loved ones in your life, it could be a roommate, it could be a partner, it could be a parent, it could be a colleague, they want to help you. They don't know what to do. So it turns out kind of an even bigger market for this book is the toolkit for the copilot, because it will give you something that you can recommend, that you can nudge the person going through the transition that will help them get through it more effectively. 

[00:45:20] AF: That’s a huge point, and I’m glad you brought that up. Because I think obviously we've gone through the data of how many transitions and even how many major lifequakes you’re going to go through in your life. But they're not going to coincide with everyone else's, right? And like we all need to have relationships in our lives to stay healthy. And human I think yearn for those relationship. So you're going to have other people dealing with these. It sounds to me, kind of like whether you're the pilot or the copilot in the scenario, you're going to be dealing with transitions your entire life.

[00:45:48] BF: That leads I think to the last point and the last piece of data. The last point is the transitions work. 90% of the people that I spoke to said that their transition came to an end. So whatever you're struggling with. If you lay in bed last night, if you're a worrier, or if you got up this morning with a cup of coffee and stared out the window and wondered, or if you just were driving down the road and missed a because you were scared about something. Whatever you're struggling with, what I want to say to you right now is that I was where you were, and I've met hundreds of people who were far worse. 

One of the curious reactions to this book and people reading it thinking, “It makes people better, because the problems that those people are dealing with, it’s a lot worse than what I'm doing.” What I want to say to you is that the process can succeed if you believe in it. So whatever you're struggling with, if you come on this journey with me and you meet these people, you're going to find – They’re going to give you hope and inspiration. But more, they’re going to give you practical things. Something you can do tonight, tomorrow, this weekend, next week, three months from now. So that whatever you're struggling with, whatever life transition you’re in, we can make it go a little bit better and a lot more effectively. There is knowledge out there. We can get through this together. 

[00:47:02] AF: Very inspirational note, and I don't want to tip the hand too far, but one of the questions that I always liked in these interviews with is if you could give our audience one piece of homework, something that they could preferably do in the next five days, what would that homework be?

[00:47:17] BF: When we go through lifequake, what happens is that our immune system gets weekend, and multiple changes descend on us at the same time. This is something I had not read about in any of the literature on personal change that was a big, bright, blinking pattern that appeared. Just when you lose your job, you wreck your car. Just when you're about to move, your mother-in-law need surgery and your daughter turns out to have special needs. I call this pileup. So we’re all going to a lifequake, and many people here are going to go through or feel like they’re going through multiple transitions at the same time. That can be overwhelming. So echoing, the idea that I shared earlier, that the lifequake can be voluntary or involuntary, but the life transition must be voluntary. 

My question, my assignment, my request in the next five days is that you pick of all the possible transitions that you thought of. You want to change your relationship. You want to move. You want to change your job. You want to become more religious or less religious. Or you want to lose 25 pounds. Or you want to get sober. Pick one. Pick one life transition and say, “You know? Starting now, I want to focus on this. Once I get underway on that transition, then I can look at other ones. You can't change everything at once. Pick one. Start there. Build from strength, and you’re going to make all the transitions in your life go more effectively, because you’re going to finally feel like you have agency and like you’re mastering the skills and you can do it better. 

[00:48:47] AF: Incredible advice, and it's actually something that’s been very top of mind for me as well is just kind of mastering the foundations. Taking off one piece at a time and then building on that strength. I think that's great homework. Bruce, you've been so generous with your time and the information. I'd love to have you back on the show again to kind of dig in even deeper. There are so many things you’ve covered from the journeys through walking the Bible and everything else. I feel like we could talk for hours and hours and hours. But I want to be respectful of your time for at least this round. Tell the audience, where can they find you? Dig in? Learn more? Buy the book? Buy your previous books? See all the different projects you're working on? Where can we go to find you?

[00:49:20] BF: Thank you very much for the invitation. It’s a pleasure. I'm happy to continue the conversation anytime. I’m Bruce Feiler, and I'm on all your various Internet ways of connecting. I have a site with all my books and two TED Talks and that kind of stuff. I am @BruceFeiler on Twitter and Instagram and LinkedIn, and Bruce Filer author on Facebook. New book is Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change in a Nonlinear Age. It’s available everywhere. It does turn out that Amazon reviews matter and ratings.  So that's been an interesting thing to discover as this book has been out of stock multiple times since it's been into the world. And please do keep in touch. Ask me any question, anything way I can be helpful. I am not to be continuing in gathering more stories for a new project I'm just beginning. So I’d love to keep in touch and keep the conversation alive.

[00:50:06] AF: Absolutely. Love to chat anytime, Bruce. And we’ll definitely have you on for a round two. Thank you again for your time. This has been a fascinating interview. Such a timely book and such a great message to get out there right now. Thank you for coming on the show and sharing all these wisdom. 

[00:50:19] BF: My pleasure, Austin. We’ll go through this, everybody. 

[00:50:21] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

August 13, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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(B) Zero to $25mm of Revenue in 18 Months with Oliver Schmalholz

August 11, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Career Development, Money & Finance

In this episode, we get a behind the scenes peek at what it truly takes to rapidly scale a massive company - learning the inside lessons that enabled our guest to build his telecom startup from zero to twenty-five million dollars in recurring revenue in 18 months, with our guest Oliver Schmalholz.

Oliver Schmalholz is the co-founder and CEO of News Quantified. News Quantified provides powerful analytics to generate insights from market-moving news, earnings, and other corporate events. For the past 15 years, Oliver successfully built four start-up companies, raised over $50m in venture capital, AND grew a US equities trading firm to over $1b trading volume in three years. When the European Telecom market de-regulated, he signed the first interconnection agreement in Austria leading to an acquisition by a Fortune Global 100 company.

  • Lessons from scaling multiple startups (some good, some not so good!)

  • Choosing the market to focus on when opportunity strikes

  • How to use comparative analysis to find really powerful market opportunities that others might miss

  • How to scale a company from $0 to $25mm in ARR in 18 months

  • Key lessons of rapidly scaling any companies revenue

    • Recurring revenue businesses are essential

    • Manage and keep your churn rate low

    • Leverage a sales and marketing strategy focused on having low fixed expenses. 

    • No advertising expense, having a “no-cap” commission plan, leveraging variably compensated 

    • Leverage third party distribution deals. 

  • “SDR” - Sales Development Reps - being fed prequalified leads and set up appointments. 

  • Have a performance-based, uncapped sales team that works the leads generated by the SDRs. 

  • Leveraged a “partner” strategy to partner with big telephone producers and gain access to their customer base, in exchange for giving them an ongoing residual. 

  • The pitch to big providers was "You make one intro to our sales team and you get an ongoing commission going forward."

  • The importance of having a fearless approach to sales and business development. 

  • How to generate huge value from your sales team using these strategies. 

  • Pay your salespeople a higher upfront commission, front-load it, and also offer them endless, uncapped residuals on the back end, with a right to buy them out at the end of the contract with 12-24 months worth of commissions. 

  • Lead generator / SDR Role"

    • Basic quota: 3-4 meetings/day (part of your fixed comp) ($2500-$3000/month)… you can double it with great performance. 

    • Any production beyond that, you get $10-$50 per appointment set. 

    • Make sure appointment sticks, a canceled appointment gets pulled back out of their bonus.

  • The 3 keys to rapidly scaling a business:

    • Recurring Revenue

    • Efficient Distribution (leveraging variable compensation & performance-based metrics)

    • Operational Excellence

  • How do you think about positioning yourself into the industries that have the biggest potential for substantial growth and scale?

  • Pay attention to platforms and multi-sided marketplaces. 

  • Homework: Pay attention to recurring revenue opportunities and see if you can turn your opportunity into one that has recurring revenue?

  • Homework: Call up 100 potential customers and pick their brains before getting into their space. Be fearless with your business development approach. 

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Oliver’s Website         

  • Oliver’s LinkedIn and Facebook

Media

  • Crunchbase Profile - Oliver Schmalholz

    • News Quantified

  • Finance & Markets - Product Review: How to Trade the News with News Quantified by marketsfinance

  • [Podcast] Cashflow Hacking Podcast with Casey Stubbs - Special Report: Oliver Schmalholz Interview by Finance & Markets

Videos

  • Oliver’s Guest Appearances on Timing Research Youtube Channel

  • Dana Derricks - Oliver Schmalholz Review Dream 100 Course

  • Stephen Bigalow - Public Stock Chat August 16th, 2018 with Guest Speaker Oliver Schmalholz Trade Thirsty - Oliver Schmalholz Sept 2018 Toast to Traders

August 11, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Career Development, Money & Finance
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Crack the Code and Master Modern Leadership with Alain Hunkins

August 06, 2020 by Lace Gilger

Alain Hunkins, author of CRACKING THE LEADERSHIP CODE: Three Secrets to Building Strong Leaders is a sought-after speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. Over his twenty-year career, he has led over 2,000 groups in 25 countries. Alain’s clients include Wal-Mart, Pfizer, Citigroup, General Electric, State Farm Insurance, IBM, General Motors, and Microsoft. 

Alain has designed and facilitated seminars on numerous leadership topics, including team building, conflict management, communication, peak performance, innovation, engagement, and change. Alain serves on the faculty of Duke Corporate Education and has published over 400 articles on leadership.

  • Some of the most incredible insights, lessons, data, and stories from years of studying leadership. 

  • Why the post office thought removing all the clocks from its offices would solve their customer complaint issues. 

  • Experience from writing over 400 articles on leadership and working with some of the world’s top companies. 

  • What caused Alain to begin his study of leadership and lifelong passion?

  • Some incredible stories of both good and bad leadership decisions. 

  • What do all good leaders have in common? What do all bad leaders have in common?

  • How effective leadership has changed over the past several decades and why “Old School” leadership doesn’t lead to results anymore. 

    • I just need a pair of hands, not the brain that comes attached to them. 

  • How can you inspire others to do their best work and excel?

  • The main characteristics of leadership...

    • Connection

    • Communication

    • Collaboration

  • Are you a bad leader and not aware of it?

  • The shocking leadership stats and what employees say about their current leadership. 

  • Should you be totally honest as a leader?

  • How do you balance empathy as a leader? You want to be there for employees but you don’t want to end up being anyone's therapist. 

  • A few simple ways to make sure you’re communicating effectively as a leader. 

  • As a leader, the ego is our enemy, we must be able to adjust our beliefs based on new data. 

  • Why patience is the leading cause of lack of empathy and shortness towards co-workers. 

  • Be humble - leadership is not about you it’s about the people you are leading. 

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Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Alain’s Website         

  • Alain’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

Media

  • Article Directory on FutureThink, AMA Playbook, and Mankind Project Journal 

  • Muckrack Profile/Articles List - Alain Hunkins

  • Chief Executive - “Pitfalls To Avoid While Leading Through The Pandemic” By Alain Hunkins

  • HCAMag - “The most crucial leadership trait when handling crisis” by Rachel Ranosa

  • Business Insider - “How leaders can be empathetic and help employees during the pandemic.” by Alain Hunkins

  • Medium - “Why are Leaders so Bad at Empathy?” by Alain Hunkins

  • Members Development Company “Six Threats Keeping You from Innovating – A Guest Blog from Alain Hunkins of FutureThink” by Alain Hunkins

  • ATD - “10 Things That Great Talent Leaders Do on Their First Day” by Alain Hunkins

  • [Podcast] WHAT'S NEXT! WITH TIFFANI BOVA - Cracking the Leadership Code with Alain Hunkins

  • [Podcast] The Corporate Corner - Alain Hunkins - Cracking the Leadership Code

  • [Podcast] LEADx Leadership Podcast with Kevin Kruse - PODCAST #369: Cracking the Leadership Code | Alain Hunkins

  • [Podcast] The Daily Helping - 149. The 3 Secrets to Becoming a Strong Leader | with Alain Hunkins

  • [Podcast] Changing Minds - Season 2 Interview 7 Alain Hunkins on Cracking the Leadership Code

  • [Podcast] Leadership Lab with Dr. Patrick Leddin - Episode 031. Crack the Leadership Code with author Alain Hunkins

Videos

  • TEDxTalks - The basic truth most leaders neglect | Alain Hunkins | TEDxDenHelder

  • Tony Winyard-Healthy Profits - Alain Hunkins

  • The Energy Project - Alain: Renewal

Books

  • Cracking the Leadership Code: Three Secrets to Building Strong Leaders by Alain Hunkins

    • Book site

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fabel. 

[00:00:19] AF: Welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with over 5 million downloads and listeners like you in over 100 countries. In this episode, we hope you crack the leadership code and dig into what the studies research show about effective leadership with our guest, Alain Hunkins. Alain digs into some of the unbelievable stories of both good and bad leadership at some extremely large and recognizable organizations. We discussed the role of empathy and leadership, and even more. 

Are you a fan of the show have you been enjoying our interviews with the world's top experts? If so, you need to head to successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list. You will receive a time of exclusive subscriber content as well as our free course we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time For What Matters Most in Your Life. You'll get that and so much more value and content on a weekly basis directly from our team. Sign up now at successpodcast.com. Or if you're on the move, text 44222 to SMARTER. That's S-M-A-R-T-E-R on your phone to subscribe on the go. 

Last week, we dug into the science of aging and how we can rollback our own biological clock with Dr. David Sinclair. Now, let’s talk about this week's guest, Alain Hunkins. Alain is the author of Cracking the Leadership Code: 3 Secrets to Building Strong Leaders. He is a sought-after speaker, consultant, trainer and coach. Over his 20 year career, he's led over 2000 groups in 23 countries. Alain’s client list includes Walmart, Pfizer, Citigroup, General Electric, State Farm, and even more. He has designed and facilitated seminars on numerous leadership topics including teambuilding, conflict in management, communication, peak performance, innovation, engagement and change. Alain lot serves on the faculty of the Duke Corporate Education and has published over 400 articles on leadership. I had a great time speaking with Alain. We still keep in touch frequently via email, and I know you're going to get a ton of value out of this conversation no matter who you are. 

So without further delay, we give you Alain Hunkins. 

[00:02:36] AF: Alain, welcome to the Science of Success. 

[00:02:39] AH: Thanks so much, Austin. It’s a delight to be with you here today. 

[00:02:43] AF: Well, we’re really excited to have you on. I mean, it’s where we get to speak with somebody with such an extensive background as yours. I mean, over 400 articles written on leadership. You’ve worked with some of the country and the world’s biggest companies and I can’t wait to dig in to some of the leadership lessons you’ve learned there. But I’d like to start, for listeners who may not be as familiar, give us your background. I’m very curious, what led you down this path to start studying something like leadership?

[00:02:43] AH: Yeah, it’s interesting. Certainly, it’s not the kind of thing that when you’re growing up in 6 and 7 years old you think, “I’m going to be a leadership student and expert later in my life.” Not something I thought. But if I had to see a common threat, I have always been fascinated by people. Why do we do what they do? What is the science behind what motivates people? Ever since I was a kid, I was always really interested in this. And when I got to college, I studied liberal arts, so I dabbled in a lot of everything. But certainly, behavior and psychology was really important. Actually, was a minor in psychology for a while, and then I got really interested in theater.

Actually, after I graduated undergrad, I went on to a graduate school acting conservatory, where for three years I was under the microscope. Literally, just taking a look at how did I behave? How did I move? How did I speak? Really, picking apart the specific behaviors that you put back together as a performer. And from there I moved into working in schools using arts in education to teach leadership and conflict resolution skills to junior high school kids and high school kids in hard hit neighborhoods in New York City. And then I transitioned from there, moved into working doing leadership training in organizations and corporations, which is where I’ve spent the bulk of the last 23 years. 

So what I found was is that in working with thousands and thousands of groups of leaders is that I started to recognize patterns of behavior. Is that great leaders do certain things in common. You know what? So do mediocre leaders. They also do things in common. So I tried to figure out what were those patterns, and I started to see them and take notes. Those notes turned into blog posts. And the blog posts turned into chapter. So I wrote this book, Cracking the Leadership Code, because I wanted to help people to accelerate their learning curve. When I think of leadership, I don’t think of a job title or a position. I think of leadership is any time that you’re trying to influence somebody else to do something. That’s leadership. And there are better ways to do it and there are worst ways to do it, and I want to help people to be able to do it better. 

[00:05:07] AF: Yeah. I love that definition of leadership, and I think it’s interesting to hear you say that good leaders all share certain things in common. Mediocre leaders share certain things in common. And I think we found that to be true here as well. I mean, at the Science of Success, we’ve spent the past 5 years in reviewing some of the world’s top performers. Really, it’s funny, but you wouldn’t think so. But a bestselling author and psychology expert has a lot more in common with an FBI hostage negotiator who also has a lot more in common with an extreme sports psychology consultant. It’s these common threads that bring all these people together as high-performance, and obviously as leaders too. I really can’t wait to dig in to some of these commonalities. 

But before we do, in your book and your TED Talk both you share this story about a company whose dealing with customers complaining about long wait times and some of the solutions they went through. Do you mind sharing that story? I found it to be so engaging and comical, but a really kind of great point to kind of set the stage.   

[00:05:59] AH: Oh, yeah. This goes back in 2007. Yeah, the leaders of a very large and well-known organization found they have this big problem on their hands, which was basically that their customer expectations were way higher than their customer service. The customers were basically complaining. And the big thing that the customers were complaining about was wait times in all of their retail locations. They had retail locations all over the place and people were waiting too long. And so being that they’re good leaders, what do they do? They put together an 87 page strategic planning report about how they were going to solve this. After all this work, what they did come up with? They actually decided to address the issue that people felt they were waiting in line too long. They took the clocks out of all of the lobbies of their organization. That’s a true story and that was the US Postal Service. 

Yeah, basically, everyone was at the Post Office going, “This is taking too long.” So they took the clocks out of the lobbies, which is crazy, right? I mean, if you step back, you think that is just insane. And yet that was done. And they gave this wonderful spin. They said we were creating uniformity. But the fact is at the end of the day, you can’t blame the strategy. You can’t blame the execution. There were people, there were leaders who made those decisions. And I think for anyone who’s worked in a large organization, you can hear that story and laugh, but you also kind of scratch your head, because you think, “You know what? That kind of sounds familiar, like something that I’ve experienced.” Because leaders do some stupid stuff sometimes, and that is just a classic example of it. 

[00:07:27] AF: It really is such a comical example too, but it’s just interesting. I mean, you point out, leaders made that decisions, but it just kind of really illustrates the disconnect between not only a customer’s problem and a solution, but also leadership understanding of what the problem is and how to ultimately attack it. 

[00:07:42] AH: Yeah. I mean, this is the issue, is that recognizing that the decisions that leaders make in an organization, there is multilayers particularly in large ones like a Postal Service, is that you have to understand that there's this larger system. When I talk with leaders, I oftentimes use – And this will be little harder without the visual. But if you can imagine a pendulum like you’re holding a string with a rock tied in the bottom, right? Leaders at the top where your fingers are holding the string – So all you have to do is move a little bit back and forth, but then that rock on the bottom of the pendulum start swinging wildly. And what leaders need to recognize is the little decisions when we’re misaligned cause huge ripple effects that the people at the bottom or the frontlines are the ones that are trying to clean up the mess and deal with. I think that's a good example with the Postal Service of how these little stupid decisions up here become monumental at the frontlines. 

[00:08:35] AF: Yeah. And that's a great analogy too. Let's dig in. I'm really, really excited. I’ve got a copy of the book right here, Cracking the Leadership Code. I recommend everybody go out and get a copy. It's a very easy read. The end of the chapter summaries really make it something that you can kind of apply and really, really structure as well into your head. But before we really get into the new leaders, this was two years ago, your TED Talk, but one of the statistics you shared was less than 25% of people think that their leaders are good leaders. 

In your book, you mentioned the new style of leadership, which I really can't wait to get into. But leading with purpose, connecting with empathy, all those things, and I totally agree. But before we go into this new style of leadership, you also mentioned this old school leadership and it stopped working. First off, what is old school leadership and why do you think we've moved away from old school leadership and why is it less effective today?

[00:09:25] AH: Yeah. Old school leadership really dates back to the dawn of the industrial age. That's where it started. In fact, it's old school back then. But leaders have continued to use what I'll call in inherited leadership legacy. A lot of people are still using a lot of these techniques, but if you think about, the first organizations in the business world were factories. And basically you suddenly had thousands of employees and someone had to figure out, “How are we can organize them? How are we going to manage them? How are we going to lead them?” And the people they went to were actually mechanical engineers. 

And they saw leadership as a mechanistic problem to be solved. So in their world, at the time, you got to remember, 95% of the workforce was doing repetitive manual labor on the assembly line. And so the goal for leadership was to get the employees to basically crank out as many widgets on the widget factory line as possible where they really didn't want people thinking. They saw management was the brains and leadership was the brawn. In fact, there’s a great quote from Henry Ford who founded the Ford Motor Company. He said, “Why is it every time I want a pair of hands, they come with a brain attached?” 

So there was this sense of old school leadership was about command-and-control, where the world was pretty constant. So, go back to Ford. Ford produced the Model T as their main car for 27 years. Production never changed. It was the same car, right? We don't live in that world anymore and we don't have people who are just a pair of hands. We live in this knowledge worker economy where we need people to be thinking creatively and problem solving on their own where it isn't just this repetitive old school to do what I tell you because I'm your boss. That’s why. I mean, that didn't work so well back then, and it certainly doesn't work now. 

What leaders have to recognize is how much of that old school leadership have they brought forward. Do you default to this “because I'm your boss that's why” attitude at times? If you do it, it’s certainly limiting you. That's where it comes from. Really, if we look at where the workforce is today where 59% of us are Gen Y and Gen Z. Today, we’ve got tools like LinkedIn. We got a Glassdoor. People know where the grass is greener. With the transparency that we have today, people know that there are better jobs up the street. I'm going to leave and go somewhere else, because we also don't have the promise of a career for life. And so the game has totally shifted. The world has totally shifted, but leadership technology really hasn't kept pace. 

And so the rest of the book and the rest of my work around becoming this new school leader is a way for leaders to be able to address the real world that we are living in as supposed to trying to lead something that has been dead for 75 years. 

[00:12:23] AF: Yeah. Many, many great points there. When I think of old school leadership, I think of like the foreman and the factory and, “Well, if you don't do the job. I'll find somebody else who can.” There's like very little thought there, as you pointed out, and I think as we shift to this new work environment, we do need people that are going to be thinking through things, problem-solving. We need to find the right people and make sure as a leader that we can develop people and guide them to become these types of people that can work on their own, can strategically think and can problem solve on their own. And I think it really all starts in kind of setting that value on that kind of thinking at the top and letting your employees know that their thoughts are valued but also making sure productivity remains constant.

[00:13:08] AH: Oh, completely. And you really touched on a great point here, Austin, which is you want to care for people and get their input and value them. And at the same time, you want to make sure that productivity remains constant. So, we kind of boil those into two categories. We’ll call it people, and we’ll call it profit, because they both start with P, and it's fun. 

So you’ve got these two categories, and they’re both important. And what I have found my research is while they're both important to be effective and sustainable and successful long-term, it's a question of prioritizing. Is that if you really want to succeed long-term, you need to put the people side before the profit. Because if you try to profit and then hope that the people will catch up, you're going to lose. Because, let's face it, it doesn't matter what industry you're in. You can be in technology, manufacturing, pharmaceuticals, high-tech, you’re in the people business. 

First and foremost, we are leading people. And so having at least the basic psychological understanding of what motivates people. What drives them? What connects them? What helps them to understand? Is basically the fundamental requisite to becoming a good leader, because you're dealing with people, and that's what I was trying to explore and to break down into some specific tools that people could use, so you go, “Oh! I never thought of that. But now that you say it, that makes complete sense.” Bridging the gap between what people know and what they do. 

[00:14:29] AF: Yeah. And I think it's such a great point that, really, everyone's in the people business. And to piggyback off something you said earlier. Back in the old school method, if my boss was a jerk, that message really didn't leave my home town, right? I mean, I might go to the bar and be like, “Oh! My boss is just such a jerk. He doesn't understand.” But now, I can post that online like on like what you mentioned, LinkedIn, Glassdoor, and all of the sudden the word really gets out there. So if you don't focus on your people, they have a lot larger of a megaphone now than they did. It's not just gossip at the watering hole. It’s something that anybody can search and find. 

[00:15:04] AH: Oh, completely. I mean, I share the example in the book about Susan Fowler who is an engineer at Uber. And she decided, she had her own personal blog post and she posted this article about her long, very strange year at Uber where she talked about all the crazy sexual harassment that she had been putting up with. Well, that blog post went viral and that was the catalyst that forced the top 20, 25 executives at Uber to have to step down, including the CEO. And Uber’s market share took a massive hit. And like you said, she had a platform that wasn't available to anyone even 15 years ago because of the level of technology and transparency that we have today. 

[00:15:45] AF: Yeah. So powerful. 

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[00:17:02] AF: I want to kind of zoom out real quick, because I want to dig in to some of the meat of the book, because there are a lot of things that I want to discussed. In the book, you go through these master keys of your framework. Walk us through these master keys and what they are.

[00:17:13] AH: Sure. There are three master keys or I call the three secrets to building strong leaders. The first one is connection. Because at its heart, leadership is a relationship, and the quality of that relationship is based on the quality of the connection. There is connection. The next one is around communication. And communication is obviously critical to leadership’s success, because the goal of communication isn't communication itself. The goal is creating shared understanding. And the reason that shared understanding is so important is because creating a platform of shared understanding is what enables you to make great decisions to get great results. So that’s the second, is communication. The third is collaboration. Is that what great leaders recognize is that for people to perform at their best, they need in environment in which they can thrive. 

And so the role of leaders is to create an environment and do so intentionally, as supposed to just unconsciously. Because the fact is every leader creates an environment. Some do it by default and others do it by design. And so connection, and communication, and collaboration become the master keys of strong leaders.

[00:18:27] AF: It’s such a nice way of breaking it down, and I've always been really intrigued by the role of empathy when it comes to leaders, because as we touched on. On one hand, you have to hold people accountable. You have to look at the bottom line. But you also need to connect and kind of be understanding. And I think a lot of folks really struggle to find that balance, right? Because on one hand, you want to be able to speak your employees. You want to be able to connect with them on a personal level. But on the other hand, you're not a therapist, right? So, what does effective empathy look like as a leader? 

[00:18:58] AH: You bring up a great point. Yeah, that people are not therapist. You don't have to be a therapist to be an empathic leader. What you basically need to do is expand what we’ll call empathic circle. Let us define empathy first overall so we’re all on the same playing field with that. So empathy is showing people that you understand them and care how they feel. Now, I know that sounds so basic and so human, “Of course, I can do that.” 

Well, you probably do it really easily with the people in your family and your friends and the people that you really care about. And actually the science shows and they’ve actually put people on MRI machines and shown this. It’s fascinating research. Is that when we already feel connected the way we do with family members, the brain centers that feel empathy light up. But when there are strangers, they don't light up. 

So the challenge for us at work is to expand our empathy circle so that our colleagues and our coworkers and our employees are in that circle. In fact, I share this story a lot about a guy named Glen that I worked with. Glenn is a manager at a hospitality company, and I was working with Glen and a bunch of his colleagues we’re talking about the subject of beliefs, and I was saying to them how beliefs can change over time. They’re not just fixed even though in the moment they feel like they’re really fixed. 

To illustrate the point, I said, “So, can anyone here think of something that you once believed that you no longer believe?” Now, as you hear that question, Austin, probably what comes to mind are things like Santa Claus, or the tooth fairy, right? Because that pretty much everyone says when I say what’s something you want to believe that you no longer believe? 

I asked this to the group with Glen, and Glen raises his hand. He said, “Yeah, something I want to believe that no longer believe. That's easy. I never really liked people a lot.” And I went, “Hold on a second. Where is this guy going?” I’m thinking to myself. And he went on. He said, “Yeah. At work, I was a real SOB. I thought my job was to tell people what to do and their job is to shut up and do it.” At this point, I'm thinking that my entire day is going off the rails. 

But then suddenly Glen shifts, he says, “But all that changed two years ago. Because two years ago my wife was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and people out of the woodwork just started showing up making meals for my family, doing pickups and drop offs my kids, and it completely restored my faith in humanity. And what I realizes is that people on my team is that they had families and issues too. And so instead of talking at them, I started talking with them. I’d like think I'm not the same SOB I used to be.”

So what I found from Glen’s story is Glen had this wake-up call. First, he was on the receiving end of his other people empathy. And then once he was in their circle by being thought of, he was able to turn around and give it. And so I think for a lot of us, particularly at work, we hear that this is important. But the fact is to be empathic takes time and some patience and some willingness to let go of your own agenda. And I think so many of us are these type A achieving. We’re driving, try to get things done. We don't have enough time. There's too much to do. 

And so are we really willing to press pause and listen? So, until the COVID pandemic, I think for many people, saying, “Hey, how are you?” was just that social pleasantry. When the answer was like, “I'm fine. How are you.” You said it like, “Hi.” “Hi.” “How are you?” “I'm fine. How are you?” And that’s it. As supposed to now, I think we’re having much more real conversations of, “Hey, how are you holding up today?” and you actually want to hear what someone's thinking and feeling. 

The fact is – And there is great science behind this too, is that when employees feel cared for, it is the number one driver of workplace retention and engagement. The fact is, deep down, we actually all want to be cared for even the hard-driving people, because in their mind, being cared for means you see, recognize and value me and probably compensate me for it. Even everything like a type A stockbroker. They want to be cared for, but they may want in a different way. But it still being cared for in that environment. 

For us to recognize as leaders, we want to start building empathy, because empathy becomes the fast track to connection. Because when someone feels that you care about them, they're going to do better work. Think about it. If two people ask you to stay late and work on a project and one is a good friend and you care about them and they care about you and the other isn't, which one are you going to want to work for? It's so obvious. 

So, people don't work because they have to. They'll comply because they have to, but they won't really commit unless they want to. And empathy is the means for which to happen. I think it was Teddy Roosevelt. This quote has been attributed to a lot of other people. But I think he's the one who said, “People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.” And I know that sounds cheesy is heck, but it's true. It's true. 

I think particularly now, we’re seeing this in terms of the COVIT pandemic, is realizing who's showing up to show that they’re caring about people? Because we will all be remembered at the end of this crisis for how we showed up, and we will either be seen as better or worse. But we won't be the same, because the world won't be the same. For me, that's the basis of empathy. 

[00:23:54] AH: Wow! I mean, there’s so much to unpack there. That's incredible answer with a lot of great insights. I think the piece about Glen receiving the effective empathy, really kind of showing him how important it was really hits home with me. And there's a great chart in the book on page 78 that kind of goes through like what happens if someone doesn't have empathy or if they don’t have time for it? And it seems like a lot of the reason that we’re not empathetic, it’s because we get busy. We lose our patience. But then when you look at the other side of the coin, showcasing this empathy only takes a matter of seconds. How can we take a step back? And if we are busy, if we are going a mile a minute. We know we have another call in 10 minutes. We’re doing XYZ and someone approaches us. How can we reset ourselves from this busy, kind of crazy all over the place mindset to remember to be empathetic?

[00:24:45] AH: That’s an excellent question, Austin. I think the fact is, in the moment, if someone comes up and you’re crazy busy, and that will be a good time to do it. If you haven't practiced it before, I highly doubt you're going to being able to do it on the spot. I mean, let's face it. It's like anything else. Habits develop over time. And what I would suggest for anyone is if you want to start practicing empathy – And there're some simple things that you can do. You can start your listening with purpose. Just asking a question, “Hey, how are you, really?” and asking people to go beyond I'm fine how are you, is to start to build and structure of those moments into your day at times that you're not feeling the pressure. So that way in that moment when you should do it, you'll actually have some muscle memory to be able to draw on, because otherwise you won’t be able to do it. I mean, none of us can unless we do it regularly. 

So, that's probably the place to start, is to build in opportunities. I mean, we should be checking in with our people on a consistent basis. I know that, years ago, Gallup came up with this wonderful book called First, Break All The Rules, and they have these Gallup 12 questions. And one of them was has someone in the last seven days appreciated my work?

And it's funny, as I shared that statistic with people I work with, they said, “Seven days? I’d be happy with seven months.” It's amazing how long some of us can go without feeling cared for. But, again, this is going to sound cheesy. I’m going to use another analogy here, which is in some ways, we’re not that different from plants and flowers, right? They need to be watered and nurtured. And if we don't water and nurture those relationships, they're going to wither and they're going to die. And in the case of work, what that’s going to mean is that people are going to start checking out other job opportunities. Because, look, if you're not giving me a compelling reason to stay, if I'm not feeling engaged, if someone down the block will offer me similar disengaged work but will give me 15% more money, I'm out of here. You got to give me a compelling reason to stay.

[00:26:36] AF: Yeah. And I think it's worth noting again, the effect it can have on morale and productivity just to thank somebody for their work even out of the blue is just tremendous. And as we've mentioned a couple of times even among this COVID 19 pandemic we’re facing right now. All the conference calls I've had, typically, we just jump right in. It’s like, “All right. Everybody is here. Let's start.” 

If I show up a little early and there're a couple people there, we have a nice conversation about how this is affecting everybody. But it ultimately yields to a much better conversation, because I have some sort of context, “Okay. I know that John, his kids are out of daycare. So he’s got kids running around. Mary just made a joke about how she's in Florida, because she's isolating there.” It's really kind that adds so much to the process. And then even internally, we’re not dealing with other folks or outside of your organization. But even inside, there're a lot of people at least in our company who have been working overtime to try to address some of the needs that have risen from this crisis. And I've been trying to make a point just to stop every day and at least thank somebody for going the extra mile. Or, “Hey, I know you've been working a little bit late this week. I really want you to know, I appreciate it. The work is looking great.” And it just not only creates this boost in productivity, but they become friends, right?

Now, we have like hour-long phone calls, go for a walk and chitchat with people that previously I had a work relationship with, but it's blossomed into – Blossomed, to use the plant analogy, into something much deeper, which ultimately makes our working relationship much more effective as well.

[00:28:04] AH:  Completely. As you sure that, it reminds me of this guy, and I actually share this story in the book too, this guy Matt, who's a district manager, actually for a fast food franchise. One of the largest food franchises in the world, and he is actually ranked. There’re 100 district managers in the company, and Matt is now number one on their list. He has been for a couple years. When I met Matt, he was number one. I said that, “Matt, have you always been the number one district manager?” And he said, “No. Actually, when I started years ago, I was like number 84.” I said, “So, what changed?” 

So very much to your point, Austin, what he realized is when he started, he used to think of work that his job was to be the fixer. He would see what was wrong. He had to solve problems and go in and tell people what to do. And he actually saw – His words he said, “I saw people like worker bees. Actually, in some cases, I’d come into the restaurants and I didn't know some people's names. They’d come. They’d go. I didn't even know who they were. But when I realized my job, and people don't want to fixers. What they want is they want a leader.” 

So he’d start coming in and started shifting. He started saying, “Oh, hey. How was your weekend?” Like what you're saying. Building some personal relationships. And instead of coming in with a list of things that were wrong and telling them what to do, he’d say, “So, this is what I have on my list. What do you think is going on?” and having them generate their own solutions. And what he found was as he started doing all that, his performance numbers started going up because people took more ownership of what was going on. And the way he described it to me, the kicker of the story is, he said, “So, I'm number one now.” He said, “My work is so much easier than it was when I was ‘78, and I'm having so much more fun because I'm building these great relationships. And a lot of my former store managers are now my colleagues and have been promoted to district manager.” 

For me, it's the sense that we think, “Oh, I don't have time. I’ve got a job to do.” Like, “No. Actually, your job is to build relationship. And maybe if you saw it as an investment of work, you might think of it differently.” It's this giant reframe, if that makes sense.

[00:29:52] AF: Yeah. It's great. One thing that I just know to my head when you said that is all the people he works with get promoted. It’s like a rising tide raises all ships, right? As the people that he's been empathetic with and have helped have increased their careers, it's going to ultimately increase his cloud and the organization in general. 

I think it's a really great example, because he didn't start being empathetic, right? He started, it was either ‘84, ’87, and of the leaders, now he’s number one. I think that going back to Glen, even, was a belief of mind that changed over time. And for the longest time, I've felt like we all kind of that fixed skillsets. I'm not very good at X. I’m pretty good at Y. There's no way I'll ever be good at X. And I don't really have to work hard to be good at Y. But that's changes, right? I mean, everything, like empathy. These are things like muscles. I mean, we can strengthen them over time and we can start working on something we’re not good at and ultimately be great at it and reap the benefits that we may be used to look at someone who it was so easy with and we’re like, “Oh, I wish I had that.” Well, you can have that as long as you're willing to put in the time and maybe be a little bit uncomfortable to increase that skillset. Now, I'm not going to be like play in the NBA anytime soon. I mean, some things are a little fixed. But when it comes to these soft skills and nuanced approaches to things, we can get better over time. 

I want to kind of transition. I think we’ve spent a lot of time on empathy, but communication. And you spend a lot of time too, and I kind of want to tie this a little bit together. But one thing I really enjoy about the book is you give a lot of attention to like little things that really kind add up over time. One thing that I loved was being on time to meetings and calls. Why is it so important that we give the attention to these small things and what is it say when we don't to the people that we work with?

[00:31:32] AH: Yeah. It’s so important to give attention to these small things, because as leaders, we have to recognize that we are under a microscope. That everything that we do and say gets watched. Everything that we don't do and say gets watched. And people are putting their little rating scorecard together. 

And so, for example, showing up on time. It's the simplest thing to measure or not. You’re either here or you're not. For me, recognizing what is my leadership behavior communicating to other people? Because, example, is the main thing in influencing other people. It isn’t what we say. It’s what we do. And so something as simple as showing up on time sends a very clear message. Just how you greet people. 

I’ll share another story around just the power of recognizing that you're always being watched. I was working with a group of flight attendants who were at a customer service conference in Chicago and one of flight attendants came over to me on a break and said, “I just got to tell you something about this company. I know we’re doing this training, but frankly, this is all a bunch of hypocrites.” I said, “Well, tell me more. What do you mean?” She said, “I’ll give you an example. Classic example.” She said, “I flew over here from Germany to do this training, and I was working the flight. I was actually working the first-class cabin.” So this is not business class. This is international first class. So these are the top-tier customers who are paying well over $10,000 a ticket to do this. 

She is trained. She’s a skilled professional. She said, “I'm on this flight, and who walks in to sit in first class? It’s none other than one of our very, very senior executives. Who you’d see their face in the airline magazine.” And this executive comes in the plane, sits down, and you think – Because we've all been trained to go around and greet people, shake their hands. Thank you for your business, thank you for your loyalty, to build relationship, that he would model that. That he would do that. No. He just sits in the chair. He pulls out his laptop. He doesn't even say hello to me. Sits there the whole flight. We get to Chicago. He doesn't even say thank you, and gets off the plane, right? 

What's amazing is we don't ever get to hear that executive side of the story. We don’t know. Maybe he had this giant deadline. Maybe he had a death in the family. Maybe he wasn't feeling well. But you know what? That's the intention. That's not what we get. That flight attendant, all she got was the behavior of I don't care enough to say hi or thank you to you, which again it's a communication, but it's also a connection piece. 

And so we have to realize that we have to become metacognitive. Thinking about thinking and thinking about behavior at that broader scale. What's the message I want to send? And the more conscious that we start showing up like, “Oh, if I'm on time. What does that say? What does that say about my track record?”

When I learned that from a mentor – By the way, everything I’ve learned, I learned from somebody else. I remember, I used to start showing up on time. And then at the beginning, I get really upset because other people wouldn't be on time. Like, “Well, I made the effort. I'm on time to time. Why aren’t they on time?” What I realized, Austin, after a while, I made peace with that. Because I said to myself, “You know, I don't show up on time for them. I show up on time for me. Because that's the kind of person that I want to be.” 

I am a firm believer that when you build these consistent habits, they're going to pay dividends. Now, they may not pay it in that moment, and you might feel like you're being left out on alert because you're there on time and someone else is not. But overall, like we’re saying before with the habit of being empathetic, you can't pull it out of a hat if you haven’t been practicing it. I think building these habits of connection, of communication, of collaboration consistently, repeatedly, over time is what's going to set you on the fast track towards leadership success. 

[00:34:57] AF: Yeah, I love it. Digging into communication a little bit more, what are the pillars of effectively communicating as a leader? I mean, I speak to hundreds of people every week, and I've experienced good communication, bad communication. And in most cases, poor communication, at least I think is not intentional. But in all cases, it causes confusion. A lot of times wasted effort, work, when direction isn’t clear. And even in my personal case, some anxiety. If I'm not clear or I’m not communicated with, I’m like, “Am I doing all right? What's going on here? What can I possibly do?” What are the pillars of starting to communicate effectively as a leader?

[00:35:33] AH: Yeah, you bring up such an important point, because the fact is, yeah, no one intends to be a lousy communicator, and yet only 30% of people think that their leaders communicate well. It's a shockingly low number. The biggest problem behind it is we have this gap. The fact is, all of our information and our understanding and our insights is 100% crystal clear to us in our own brains, in our own minds. Like, “Of course, I know what I mean.” But that’s not communication. That's what your understanding of it. 

And so, we have to get alignment between what we mean, what we actually say, whether that's verbal, or written, or email, or whatnot, and what is heard, right? There are three parts. What I mean? What I say and what you hear. And most of those times, things are not in alignment. I was going to jump to some quick solutions around things you can do. 

Number one is do you have a clear central message to what you're trying to say? Do you have a goal? What is that central method? Your central message should be concise, like eight words or less concise. If people can only remember one thing, what would that message be? Because so many of us have all this information, and all the studies will say that people can only remember between 10% and 20% of a group of content anyway. So, you want to make sure it is the right 10% to 20%. 

First, do you have a very clear central message? And then how do you support your central message with simple logic that bills? Whether that’s data points, whether that stories that illustrate it, because stories bring it to life. Do you repeat your central message multiple times? Look, advertisers know this all too well, right? We always hear the same thing over and over again. I'm sure there are jingles from commercials you can remember from your childhood because you heard them so many times. So, do we repeat ourselves multiple times? 

And then another really important piece of clear communication is what are we doing to confirm that the other person has understood us? And I call this asking for a receipt. If you think about what a receipt, it’s like, in life, we get receipts as a confirmation of a completed transaction. You go to the store, you buy a candy bar. Now it's a candy bar. And if you spend $0.25, $0.30 or something, you might think, “I don’t need the receipt.” But you would never dream of buying a house without getting a receipt, right? The more important the transaction, the more likely we are to get a receipt. 

In fact, a great story that brings this to life comes from the fast food industry. Because back in the 1980s when they introduced the drive-throughs, the whole process was a nightmare. It’s really common for customers to come up to a drive-through, go to the intercom and place their order and then they drive up to the window to pick up their food and it will be all wrong. And this was consistent for the years across the industry. And then all of a sudden, drive-through mistake rates just plummeted, and it wasn't some new technology. It was super simple. What happened was the employees started asking for receipts. 

If you said, “I’d like to order two hamburgers, a cheeseburger, three fries and three cokes.” What they would do is say, “Okay.” They repeated that, right? Two burgers, a cheeseburger, three fries and three Cokes. And you can either say yes or not, right? It's just confirming what you just heard. Now, again, it sounds so simple, but that one little change makes such a difference. And I think so many of us have the experience of being in meeting, business meetings, or whatever. And then as the meeting is ending, like, “Okay. We’re out of time. Everyone knows what they're doing. Right?” And of course everyone says yes, because we’re all professional adults. We would never stop and say no, because that's way too embarrassing. So, we all assume that we’re all on the same page. And then I'm sure you’ve had this experience, Austin, many of the listeners will have to. We go out in the hall, we have the meeting after the meeting, “So, what did Austin say he’s doing? What is –” We’ve all had that experience, right? Because we didn’t take the time to confirm. We didn't take the time to asking for a receipt in the moment. 

And so because we want to get that understanding, because after we get that understanding is, one, we want to be able to go off and take action on that, and that's why you get that anxiety of like, “Am I doing the right thing? Am I not doing the right thing?” Because we want to feel like the actions are built on this solid foundation of we’re doing the right thing based on understanding as supposed to misunderstanding. 

[00:39:32] AF: Yeah. I think that’s so huge, and the fast food example really brings that to life. It's not some new tech. It's not like some crazy thing that's going to take years to implement within your large organization. I mean, it's just a confirmation that the message that she tried to convey was received the way that you meant to convey it.

[00:39:49] AH: Exactly. Exactly. 

[00:39:51] AF: So, I want to kind of start wrapping up a little bit here. I know you're very busy and I want to be respectful of your time. But this has been a great conversation. And one thing that I just wanted to get your thoughts on is what role does being humble play in leadership?

[00:40:05] AH: Oh! What a great question. And it plays a huge role in leadership, because if we think about what does humility really mean. To me, humility is the willingness to take my very achievement-oriented, large, maybe competitive ego and put it aside, maybe temporarily, but the willingness to suppress it temporarily. And when I do that, when I get humble and I can kind of put my own agenda in my own thinking about how things should work aside, I am actually freed up to better listen to you. And also, when you are humble, you create this great shift, whereas you realize leadership at its core isn't about you as the leader. It's about the people you're leading. Because we want to say what makes a successful leader. Well, when the people they’re leading are successful, then the leader is successful. 

Being humble lets you basically make yourself the least important person. When I coach leaders, I often say, “As a leader, you are both the most important person and the least important person.” And I think humility is the wisdom of knowing which role to step into. And I have to get out of the way, because like we said, leadership is this relationship, and being humble is what allows me to step into being of service to the people on leading. And if I don't get into that place of humility, I'm basically leading for my own arrogance or my own ego. 

I’ll just tell a quick story about the power of lack of humility. This is a Fortune 100 company, manufacturing company, and I was brought into work with the CEO and the executive team, and this was a big deal. This was going to be for their annual conference where they had over 1,500 people. So I had them do a meet and greet with the CEO and the executive team. So I’m about to go in to the boardroom, the executive board room. But one of the senior vice presidents pulls me to a side and he said, “Alain, I got to tell you something before we go in there. So these guys,” and they were by the way all men. He said, “These guys, they run this company and they know they run this company.” When you go in there one word you never use is no. You can say maybe. You can say I'm not sure. Or I'll look into it. But you never say the word no directly to them.” And then he stopped and paused and he says, “Do you understand?” And then he waited like for a verbal yes as though I'm sitting in the exit row of a plane. Like, “Do you understand?” And I had to literally say Yes. And as I'm saying yes, inside I'm thinking, “This is flipping crazy. They had institutionalized a lack of humility.” I mean, what ego, what arrogance to think we don't want have anyone ever say no to us. Just think about what that was costing them. And here's the thing, is you might look at that company and say, “But they’re a Fortune 100 company.” I would say yes, they’re successful, but not because of their arrogance. They’re successful in spite of it. Think about how much more successful they could be. So, going back to your original question, yes, humility is tremendously important, because it frees us up to actually lead better. 

[00:43:01] AF: I think it’s a huge point. I'm glad that the research supports what I was thinking in my head. But I think part of being a good leader at least in the times that I've led people and the times that I've been led or mentored, it's about acknowledging that you yourself are also on a journey of progression, right? You don't have all the answers currently and you’re improving and you're dealing with maybe on a different level, but you're really dealing with a lot of the same things your employees are, especially if you’ve hired good people. You want to improve your skillset. You want to add new skills.

Of course, you need to have a basic understanding of what you do here. What means success? What doesn't mean success? But things like asking questions should always be encouraged even from leadership, because we’re all trying to improve ourselves, right? We’re all trying to be successful. We all want to be “masters of our field”, but we’re all on that journey together, and the journey really never stops. 

[00:43:53] AH: Yeah. And I think what you're getting at is this sense, this belief. I say take off the superhero cape, right? Like you said, leaders should ask questions. Stop trying to think that you need to be this all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful thing, because actually when you humanize yourself – And this is of course assuming that you've already built real human connection based on empathy. People appreciate it. They actually go, “Oh, you’re a human like me,” and people can identify and connect with that and they’re actually much more willing to engage with you. If you think that somehow you have to be this superhuman, it’s not what it's about. It's about being super human, right? There's a big difference between the two. 

[00:44:30] AF: Yeah. This has been such a great conversation. I’ve only got one more question, and then I want to make sure that people know where to find the book, where to find you, where they can engage with you. But you've obviously studied thousands and thousands of leaders and obviously published over 400 articles on leadership. When you look historically, or maybe not even historically, just in general, who do you think embodies what a leader should be?

[00:44:54] AH: Well, frankly, I’ll just give you present example of where we are and where we’re going for the world we’re in. I think the head of New Zealand, Jacinda Ardern, is just doing a marvelous job of showing how you can be humanistic, empathic and also delivering great results. Really clear boundaries.  Think of how she's dealt with the COVID pandemic. I mean, they basically eradicated the virus in New Zealand. And a lot that has to do with the kind of leadership that she's showing. So, you can have both. You can be kind of soft and caring and you can also deliver great results. I think that's a great example of someone who's doing it right now.

[00:45:31] AF: That's great. We’ll definitely link to all of that in the show notes. Alain, thank you so much for the time. This has been an incredible conversation. You asked me before the call what a homerun interview looks like. This is what a homerun interview looks like. It was incredible speaking with you. But I want to make sure that the listeners and the audience can find you. Where can they buy the book? Where can they engage with you in social media and learn more?

[00:45:51] AH: Yeah. The easiest place to find me, because my name has got that funny spelling, Alain. Easiest way is to go right to the book page, which is www.crackingtheleadershipcode.com. That will take you right to the book’s page where you can download the first chapter to get a preview of it and that links right to my alainhunkins.com websites. So it’d be right there. You can learn about all the other work that I do in helping people become stronger leaders. And there are also buttons there. You can connect with me on LinkedIn. That's where I do all of my social media work, is on LinkedIn. That's probably the easiest place to find me. 

Austin, thank you so much. It’s been a super homerun. Fun time talking with you today. So, thank you so much.

[00:46:28] AF: I appreciate. You made it easy on me. Listeners, please go check out the book. Again, it's Cracking the Leadership Code by Alain Hunkins. Check it out.

[00:46:38] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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August 06, 2020 /Lace Gilger
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How To Stop & Reverse Aging with Dr. David Sinclair

July 30, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Health & Wellness

In this episode, we share the science of how to reprogram your body and reset your biological age. Can you permanently reverse aging? What should you do to slow down your aging process and stay young for longer.. maybe even forever.. with our guest Dr. David Sinclair. 

David A. Sinclair, Ph.D. is an entrepreneur, tenured professor at Harvard Medical School, and world leader in aging research. He has published over 160 scientific papers, is a co-inventor on over 50 patents, and has co-founded 12 biotechnology companies in the areas of aging, vaccines, diabetes, fertility, cancer, and biodefense. David is the author of the bestselling book Lifespan: Why We Age―and Why We Don't Have To. He serves as co-chief editor of the scientific journal Aging, works with national defense agencies, and works with NASA. He has received 35 honors including being one of Australia's leading scientists under 45, TIME magazine’s list of the “100 most influential people in the world” and many more. 

  • Aging doesn’t have to be that way. 

  • There are genes that control how long we live.

  • Lifespan is 80% lifestyle, 20% genetics. 

  • You can manipulate the genes that impact your lifespan both at a personal and lifestyle level, 

  • There’s a clock in your body that can be reset. Aging can be reversed. 

  • The information for your body to be young again still exists. The instructions are still in your cells. 

  • The 9 hallmarks of aging

    • Mitochondrial dysfunction

    • Genomic instability caused by DNA damage

    • Telomere attrition 

    • Epigenome alterations

    • Loss of proteostasis

    • Deregulated nutrient sensing 

    • Accumulation of senescent zombielike cells that inflame healthy cells

    • Stem cell exhaustion

    • Altered intercellular communication and the production of inflammatory molecules

  • What is the upstream cause of ALL the main impacts of aging?

  • There are unified upstream causes of aging.

  • Starting with cellular aging 

  • “Sirtuins"

    • Silent Information Regulator 

  • “The information theory of aging"

  • We are born with a perfect set of genetic information. It’s in 2 forms:

    • DNA

    • Elements that read the DNA (epigenome)

  • Information becomes lost and diluted over time. 

  • While mutations are one way, if it’s a reading error it’s another way. 

  • A genome is just a chemical - it’s words on a page. To bring it to life, you need a “reading machine” - the nucleus and the cell that supports the nucleus. 

  • “Epigenetic reprogramming” 

  • DNA damage can still be an important piece of aging. 

  • DNA Methylation - clover leaves that accumulate on your DNA

  • Your epigenetic code sits on top of your DNA and actives or turns of certain strands of DNA.

  • By reading your DNA Methylation pattern you can see what your “biological” age is. 

  • Key life interventions to extend your life by 14 years on average:

    • Eat healthily

    • Workout

    • Sleep well

    • Fasting & Caloric Restriction

  • Every cell in your body has to respond to at least one broken DNA strand per day - that’s 28 billion broken DNA strands - potential tumors or medical issues - happening in your body every day. 

  • What causes DNA damage and how can we avoid it?

    • Cancerous materials

    • Sun damage

    • Don’t microwave plastics

    • Inkjet yellow die is really toxic

    • X-rays and CT scans will break your DNA

  • How can we make our sirtuins more effective?

    • Take “sirtuin-activating molecules"

    • Eat foods that activate them. 

    • High-intensity exercise

    • Weight lifting 

    • Fasting

    • Cold Exposure

  • We’ve known for over 80 years that calorie restriction extends the lifespan of any animal from a spider to a dog. 

    • 70-80% of what it would normally eat. 

  • Cold therapy makes white fat become brown or beige fat. 

    • So this isn’t a cold shower, it’s more like cryotherapy. 

  • There are 7 sirtuin genes on our body and they are our bodies protectors. 

  • If you never experience COLD or extreme HEAT - if you’re never hungry - if you’re never under stress - your sirtuin circuit starts to relax and your epigenome degrades much more rapidly. 

  • Why external stress is a necessary component of having a healthy and active epigenome, which keeps you younger for longer. 

  • MTOR AMPK

  • How “Tet enzymes” can help a blind old mouse see like it was young again.

  • Injecting a virus into your body that reverses your age.

  • The quest for the “fountain of youth"

  • The supplements you should consider taking to slow the aging process.

    • 750-1000 mg of NMN

    • Metformin may be a powerful drug for reversing aging

    • Resveratrol

    • CoQ 10 - soluble form

  • Homework: Eat less often. You still have to eat well, and you can still eat the same amount of calories, space out the meals, and don’t snack in between. 

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • David’s Wiki Page

  • David’s LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter

  • Lifespan Newsletter

Media

  • Google Scholar Citations: David A. Sinclair

  • Harvard Med - The Sinclair Lab: David A. Sinclair’s Affiliations

  • Inside Tracker - “Q&A: How Harvard's David Sinclair Unlocked His Own Fountain of Youth” By Erin Sharoni

  • Bisnow - “Can You Add 15 Years To Your Life? Q&A With Bisnow Escape Speaker David Sinclair, Genetics And Longevity Expert” by Benjamin Paltiel

  • Inside Hook - “A Conversation With a Harvard Geneticist on How to Live (Well) Past 100” by Tanner Garrity

  • Outside Online - “This Scientist Believes Aging Is Optional” by Graham Averill

  • Kaiser Health News- “Is Harvard Geneticist David Sinclair's ‘Fountain Of Youth’ Pill Real? Sure, If You’re a Mouse.” by Marisa Taylor

  • Boston Magazine - “Has Harvard’s David Sinclair Found the Fountain of Youth?” by Catherine Elton

  • OZY - “WILL THE GOVERNMENT BLOCK THIS GENETICIST FROM SELLING AN ANTI-AGING PILL?” By Molly Fosco (2018)

  • Serious Science Video interview directory: David Sinclair  (4 videos, 2015)

  • [Podcast] The James Altucher Show - 564 - Coronavirus Update: How to Boost your Immunity in Times of Pandemic with Harvard Medical School Professor & Biologist David Sinclair (March 22, 2020)

  • [Podcast] THE RICH ROLL PODCAST - Ep 436: David Sinclair On Extending Human Lifespan & The Science Behind Aging

  • [Podcast] Lewis Howes Show - EP. 904: AGING IS A DISEASE ACCORDING TO DR DAVID SINCLAIR

Videos

  • Tom Bilyeu - This Harvard Professor Explains the Secret to Aging in Reverse | David Sinclair on Health Theory

    • Harvard Researcher Tells You Everything You Need to Know About Coronavirus Pandemic | David Sinclair

  • PowerfulJRE - Joe Rogan Experience #1349 - David Sinclair

    • Joe Rogan Experience #1234 - David Sinclair

  • Talks at Google - Why We Age and Why We Don't Have To | David Sinclair | Talks at Google

  • TEDxTalks - A Cure for Ageing?: David Sinclair at TEDxSydney

  • Found My Fitness - “Dr. David Sinclair on Informational Theory of Aging, Nicotinamide Mononucleotide, Resveratrol & More”

  • Frontiers - David Sinclair - Cracking & reversing the aging clock - Science Unlimited 2019

  • The Sheekey Science Show - Lifespan - David Sinclair, PhD (overview & thoughts)

Books

  • Lifespan Book Site

  • Lifespan: Why We Age―and Why We Don't Have To by David A. Sinclair PhD and Matthew D. LaPlante

  • Just In Time: The Discovery of Sirtuin and How it Will Change Everything by David Sinclair (release December 2020)

Misc

  • [Website] calorierestriction.org

  • [Journal Article] “The first long-lived mutants: discovery of the insulin/IGF-1 pathway for ageing” by Cynthia Kenyon

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the internet, bringing the world's top experts right to you. Introducing your hosts, Matt Bodnar and Austin Fable. 

[00:00:18] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with more than 5 million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. In this episode, we share the science of how to reprogram your body and reset your biological age. Can you permanently reverse aging? What should you do to slow down your aging process and stay young for longer, or maybe even ever? With our guest, Dr. David Sinclair. 

Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we’ve put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our email list. We have some amazing content on their along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How to Create Time for What Matters Most in Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com. You can sign up right on the homepage. That successpodcast.com, or if you're on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word SMARTER. That's S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44222. 

In our previous interview, we dug into the incredible story of Blake Mycoskie, the one-for-one model. What it's like to be an entrepreneur? To be the founder of Tom's, and ultimately to find happiness. 

Now, for interview with David.

[00:01:44] MB: Dr. David A. Sinclair is an entrepreneur, tenured professor at Harvard Medical School and a world leader in aging research. He has published over 160 scientific papers. Is a co-inventor on over 50 patents and has cofounded 12 biotechnology companies in the areas of aging, vaccines, diabetes, fertility, cancer and biodefense. David is the author of the best-selling book Lifespan: Why We Age and Why We Don't Have To. He serves the co-chief editor of the Scientific Journal Aging and works with national defense agencies and NASA. He's received 35 honors, including being one of Australia's leading scientists under 45, Time Magazine's list of 100 most influential people in the world, and so much more. 

David, welcome to the Science of Success.

[00:02:29] DS: It’s great to be on. Thanks for having me. 

[00:02:31] MB: Well, we’re really excited to have you on the show today. You have an incredible background and have done so much interesting work. And I can't wait to dig into it. 

[00:02:38] DS: Let's do it. 

[00:02:39] MB: I’d love to start out with some of the key themes around aging, and specifically what you’ve talked about in your book, Lifespan. Let's start out with one of the core ideas, something that is really almost just a fundamentally accepted premise and most of today's society, which is the idea that aging is natural. Tell me what your thoughts are on that idea. 

[00:02:59] DS: Well, I agree. It is natural, but so is humans not being able to fly and people dying from cancer. We work to make our lives better. And aging is the final frontier, where it’s one of the few things in our lives and in the world that we accept. But I think, hopefully, my book is a wake-up call that it doesn't have to be that way, in the same way that we’ve overcome and continued to rile against many cancers. And we make our lives better. We have air conditioners, we have cars. We are born as species to innovate. And for some reason aging is that barrier, and I feel it's my job and my life, really, to wake the world up from that misconception. 

[00:03:41] MB: It’s such an interesting insight, because we really do almost just accept that our bodies are going to age, they’re going to break down, and we have to go through all of these negative implications as we get older. But my understanding is from really a biochemical cellular level, it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. 

[00:04:01] DS: Yeah, we didn't know that until recently. In fact, some of the work is only just about to be published, which is what's so exciting. But we've really learned over the last 20 years that there are genes that control how long we live. Some of us have good copy. Some of us don't. But most of what we do in our lives is based on how we live. Only 20% is inherited. And what we figured out in large part is that these genes that extend lifespan in everything from little worms, up to humans, is that we can manipulate them by how we live our lives, but also increasingly genetically we can manipulate them. 

But the big deal that's in the book, which is very strange because it hasn't even yet fully come out in the scientific literature, but it will soon, is that there’s a clock in our bodies that is actually resettable. You can reset the age of a cell, or a tissue, eventually, an entire animal, so that aging is not a one-way street. It's not just slowable. It’s actually reversible. 

[00:04:59] MB: That’s such an interesting piece of the research, and I want to hear a little bit more about that, because it's one thing to say, “Okay. Maybe we can slow down our aging trajectory.” But to think about actually taking someone who today would be 65-year-old and reverse aging them back to their early 30s or something like that, that's almost something that you would. I've literally read science fiction stories where that happens. 

[00:05:23] DS: Yeah. I mean, there are interesting science fiction stories, but if you go back to the 19th century, there were writing science fiction about flying and going to the moon, and the same is going to be true for aging and aging reversal. But we couldn't have done this even 20 years ago. We didn't understand what was going on during aging. We just thought things wore out and got damaged and it was impossible to fix them. That's not true. 

In fact, the information in our bodies to be young again still exists. We know that. We can clone cells. Matt, I could take one of your cells if I wanted to and make a tissue out of it. I could even clone you if I had the authority to do so. Not that I would. Don’t worry. But those instructions are still in ourselves. We haven't lost them. It's similar to being able to reboot a computer and make it run like it was new again. 

[00:06:11] MB: Honestly, I wouldn't be totally opposed to having a clone of myself just to get some more stuff done. 

[00:06:16] DS: I suspect you do have one, given how much you’ve achieved and probably will achieve.

[00:06:20] MB: I could definitely say the same thing about you, and we’ll get into some of that stuff as well. But I want to really understand better the science of aging. Tell me a little bit more about both what our understanding is today of how the body ages, and what's happening when we age at a cellular level. 

[00:06:39] DS: Well, I'm excited about speaking with you today, because we have an audience, you have an audience, that is really interested in getting into the nitty-gritty. Too often, I just have to talk in analogies like the computer rebooting, but we can really get into this. So, I’m excited. And tell me if you want me to go even deeper. 

But let's start at the top and work our way in. At the high-level concept is that there are numerous causes of aging. There are eight main ones called the hallmarks of aging, which you’ll read about occasionally in the media. Mitochondrial dysfunction, telomere shortening cellular senescence, the zombie cells, protein misfolding, DNA damage. Telomere shortening, I might have already mentioned. But these things and basically a list of things that go wrong during aging. But I've never been satisfied with that. I mean, it’s a good starting point. And address one of those, and you'll be healthier and live longer. But what if you could address them all with a single treatment? That's what I'm looking for. What we call the upstream cause of all of those other things. 

[00:07:38] MB: So, tell me more about that. 

[00:07:41] DS: Right. What we’ve discovered back in the 1990s. So, I was just a kid. I was 25. I’d come from Australia. Figured I'd come to the US for a couple years, get some experience. [inaudible 00:07:52] a lab to work in. It was working on yeast aging, which sounds crazy at the time. It was crazy. Now, a whole field on it over time. And what we wanted to do, and my professor’s name was Lenny Guarente, and he was a rebellious guy. He taught me also how to be rebellious. 

We decided to figure out why the yeast cells grow old, because if we can't figure that out for our yeast cell, good luck with humans. And then we figured if we could find those genes that controlled the process. It might tell us why we age and how to control our aging process. And it's not all just a story about me today, or in my book. There was a rebellious group of about 10 labs who were doing research on the cutting edge who said, “Let's just forget what we know and use genetics to figure out if there are genes that control aging. 

In our case, in yeast, we found a group of genes called sirtuins. The sirtu part of it comes from the first gene that we were working on called Sirtu, and it’s interesting that the sir part of it, S-I-R, as in yes, sir, stands for silent information regulator, and the most important word that I've told you today is the word information, because I believe, and my theory is called the information theory of aging, is that we are born with a perfect set of information, most of us, if we’re lucky. And that information is in two forms, the DNA and the elements that read the DNA known as the epigenome. 

People have looked at the genome for many years and found that there are mutations here or there, but could never really prove or find convincing evidence that the DNA information, the genetic information was what was going wrong during aging. So we focused on epigenetic information now that we had learned that yeast use information regulators to live longer. 

And my theory basically, if you want to boil it down, is that the information in our bodies due to entropy becomes lost over time, and that’s primarily the epigenome, the readers of the genome. The reason that's really important, not only if it's true it's important, because we can potentially reverse it. But what's important conceptually is that while mutations are pretty much one way. If you're full of mutations even with the best Crispr technology, you’re not going to be able to easily reverse that. 

But if it's merely just telling the cells to read the genes the way they did when we were young, that’s doable. And in fact, it only took up my lab a couple years to achieve it. And I'll tell you more in a minute. But just to finish this thought, we’ve figured out how to reverse the age of the epigenome so that cells and tissues can read the genes like they did when the animal was very young. I'm talking about mice, of course. In two years, we hope to have tested out first patient.

[00:10:46] MB: So, just to break down and explain the concept a little bit more, basically, tell me the difference between what is the difference between the genome of the epigenome and how do they interact in the body.

[00:10:58] DS: Yeah. Well, I’ll tell you actually what it is. But think of it like a DVD. I'm sure many of us remember DVDs. These were the – We were excited we could put a movie on them. But what’s good about this analogy is that they had digital information on them, right? The pits in the aluminum. And that’s similar to the genome. These are zeros and ones on a DVD in the body. It's an A, T, C on G chemical. And string that billions of times and you've got the genome. But the genome is just a chemical. It's not life. To bring the genome to life, you need the reading machinery, and that’s nucleus, and the cell would support the nucleus. And that's really the epigenome. So what is that actually in physical space? 

Well, we know the genome is a chemical, right? What's an incorrect double helix? But the epigenome is a lot more complicated, and that's the reason why we don't know as much about it as we do DNA. But think of the epigenome as if you’re spooling up a hose on your driveway, how about that thing that winds up your hose. That kind of thing. There were systems that are in place to bundle up the DNA when we don't need those genes or to release them as a big loop of DNA so the cell can read those genes. And that combination of loops and bundles, loops and bundles, tens of thousands in a row across a chromosome is what tells the cell how to live, how to survive, and what type of cell it should be. And all of that gets established during embryo development until we are born and eventually we become teenagers. But, essentially, once you've locked in that you are nerve cell, or a skin cell, or a liver cell, you’re not going to change. And thank goodness, otherwise we'd all be the world's biggest humor. 

A nerve cell has to say a nerve cell, and it's the epigenome loops that I’ve described that allow that to be maintained. Of course, anyone who’s saying and thinking will realize that aging is the destruction of those loops and bundles, in my view.

[00:12:55] MB: That totally makes sense. And so the DNA is essentially just a set of instructions or almost like a set of computer code. And the cells, the nuclei and so forth are almost many machines that are reading that code. And over time, they start to develop small errors in the way that they read it, but the code itself is essentially unchanged. And so you can just tweak the machinery, get it to read the code perfectly and things will revert back to – I don’t know, the term the DAs or the less-aged version. Is that I correct characterization?

[00:13:27] DS: Yes, it is way. We call it epigenetic reprogramming. But you’re right. Now, I just want to make sure that my colleagues don't get upset with me. I'm not saying that mutations aren’t important. There are certainly mutations in cells that are exposed to the air, to our food, to the light. Anyone who's lived in Australia has gotten wrinkles in their 40s knows this to be true. But, really, what I'm saying is that they're not the main driver but DNA damage is still important, because what we've discovered in my lab over the last decade is that the damage to the DNA is one of the main – Possibly the main reasons those loops and bundles get disrupted in the first place. 

[00:14:08] MB: So, I want to bring us back to something you said earlier and start times into how we understand it more effectively. So you mentioned previously that genetics is about 20% of age-related. I guess, genetics controls about 20% of your lifespan. And the other 80% is essentially the broad category of epigenetics. Is that a correct understanding?

[00:14:29] DS: Generally. There’s always finer detail. 

[00:14:31] MB: Right. Yeah, sure. 

[00:14:32] DS: The word I have to use as a scientist is heritable. And you can inherit more than your DNA. You inherit some of your epigenome, right? From your parents. In fact, if your parents eat a lot of food and are hugely obese, because of epigenetic, you’ll be more predisposed to obesity and diabetes yourself. But yeah, what you don't get from your parents, it’s the other 80%, which is how you live your life, and that is I think really one of the most important messages we could ever have in our lifetimes that our genes are not our destiny in the long run. 

[00:15:05] MB: So, give me a sense of at an epigenetic level within cells and the cellular structures inside of our bodies. How does that epigenetic reprogramming actually starts to take place?

[00:15:18] DS: Well, I could talk all day about this, because it's the most exciting thing I've ever worked on. Let's start from a little bit of background here. Those loops and bundles are controlled by proteins mainly, a little bit of RNA. But, essentially these are proteins that either bind to the DNA or bind to those proteins that bind the DNA and assemble these structures in three dimensions. And we’re finally developing these technologies. In fact, I was on a scientific advisory board meeting today for a few hours of a company that's on the cutting edge of being able to read the genome in its three-dimensional state, which is blowing the field wide open. 

Besides those proteins that bundle and spool, including these SIRT1s that I work on, the silent information regulators, they shut down the genes and bundle them up. There’s something else that we haven't mentioned that’s really important for this process to be understood and to reprogram it. It's called DNA methylation. And DNA methylation is a very simple process. Metals are carbon with three hydrogens on it. Think of a clover leaf. And those get decorated on our DNA. 

Initially, it's done during development so that the cells remember what type of cells they are. And it's a very important and permanent mark, one semi-permanent mark on DNA. And there are enzymes that add those chemicals, stick them on there, they’ll stay there up to 100 and something years. In the case of a whale, few hundred. And then there are enzymes that take them off, they’re called TETs. I think I’ll bring up TETs later. 

But think of this as a code on top of the genetic code called the epigenetic code, and it's a read/write system, but it also allows the cell to say permanently, “Okay. That's a group of genes that should never come on. That's a liver group of genes, and we’re supposed to be neurons. So shut them off.” 

In fact, DNA methylation is really important for telling the body where the head is and the tail is as you're developing. And what we’re finding is during aging, is that those genes, they’re called hox genes, H-O-X, they come on during aging. But getting back to this clock, these DNA methyl groups can be read by a machine in the lab. We have sequencing machines in most labs these days. We’ve got one that's the size of a little candy bar. It's quite an amazing technology. And if we read all those little methyls, those cloverleaves as I’ve just called them for the first time. As they accumulate on the DNA and occasionally get subtracted by TET enzymes, that is a – If you look at the right places in the genome, not all of them, not hundreds of thousands of them, but there are about a few hundred that reproducibly, time and time again, in humans, in mice, in dogs, they serve as a clock. If I was to read your DNA methylation pattern, Matt, I can plug that into an algorithm that we’ve develop using machine learning by looking at hundreds of humans, and I could tell you if for your chronological age, whether you are doing better or worse for your biological age, and that is a better predictor of your longevity than anything else. In fact, if you look at the biological age based on this clock, you can predict whether somebody smoked or not even better than they remembered.

[00:18:40] MB: How much variance can there be between your biological age and your chronological age just from the data that you've already seen? Assuming people who haven't necessarily taken a lot of these interventions to either slow or reverse aging.

[00:18:53] DS: Well, I've seen data points where people are a decade younger [inaudible 00:18:57] 20 years younger. And these are people typically that have eaten the right things, stayed lean, exercise, all those good stuff the doctors figured out through other means that these are healthy for you. But, yeah, it can make a massive difference. By the way, just doing those things that I mentioned as well as getting good sleep, and there’s a fifth one. I think it might be have a community around you for mental health. You extend your life by 14 years on average. By doing this really rigorously like I do, I think that 14 years is just the beginning. 

[00:19:27] MB: It’s so funny, things are often simple, but not easy. And from a variety of disciplines, I mean, if you look at the book blue zones, what you're just talking about, all of these different methodologies. If you get a lot of sleep, if you eat relatively healthfully, if you take care of your body and stay physically active. Those things go such a long way towards pretty much reducing all caused mortality, increasing your happiness, increasing pretty much everything you can imagine. And everybody, it's so obvious that people almost ignore it. 

[00:19:56] DS: Well, I think that the time we are in with COVID-19, people are paying more attention to their health, because when you're young, and I still feel young. I’m 50. Death and sickness is so far in the future. We don't think about it. But if you are obese right now, you can be quite susceptible to COVID-19. Same for any condition. And so it's not just something in the future. It can actually affect your life now. 

I have a friend who spent two weeks on a ventilator who was in his 40s. He wasn't particularly unhealthy, but still I think we’re in a time where we shouldn't be ignoring our health and putting it off into the future. The other thing that's important to know is my field and my lab have studied rodents and dogs for many years. It's very clear to us that the sooner you start healthy living, the better it is and the bigger impact you have. You can't say, “Okay. I'll go to the gym when I'm 65.” That's not going to work as well as if you do it your whole life.

[00:20:53] MB: So I want to tie this back in to the epigenetic reprogramming. Some of those lifestyle interventions are obviously ways that you can start to take some steps to reprogram your epigenome, to change your lifestyle, to reverse or decrease the impact of aging in some form or fashion. But tell me a little bit more about how that reprogramming is actually happening and what are some of the factors that drive that and can actually move that lever. 

[00:21:19] DS: The main one we've discovered is broken DNA. Now, when you chromosome breaks, it's a do or die, fix or die problem for the cell. You’ll either rip your chromosomes to shreds when you try to copy it and divide, or you might become a humor, both of which you don't want. So the cell has to really mount a massive response to even just one piece of broken DNA in each cell. And each cell has at least one broken chromosome per day, which is pretty incredible, right? What's that? 26 billion breaks in your body a day. Your body has to react to that. 

And what it does in its reaction is send proteins from key areas, like the sirtuins, are normally holding those bundles together so that genes don't get read. Then we see the move to the break or breaks. They do their job, but then they have to find their way back to where they came from. And that happens 99.9% of the time. That's why we don't grow old within a few days. But it's cumulative, because if .1% of those proteins don't make it their way back and they up staying where they were or they off and do something else, cells eventually, as we see in mice and in human cells, they lose their identity, because genes that shouldn't be on start coming on because of this reshuffling of these silencing proteins, the sirtuins and others as well. So that's one thing. 

So what I would say practically speaking is try to avoid DNA damage. Now, you can't avoid DNA breaks completely, because it's part of life. That will happen. And even if you lived on the bottom of the ocean in a led box, you’d still have DNA breaks. But there are things that exacerbate DNA damage and DNA breaks, certain chemicals. The ones that are known to cause cancer are good examples. Going in the sun will create what are called thymine dimers, which also can lead to breaks. Don't microwave plastics. Yellow die out of inkjet printers is pretty toxic for this kind of stuff. X-rays and CT scans will break your DNA. I try to avoid X-rays, for example, that are frivolous. 

I’ve had a minimal amount, what I would call the necessary amount of dental X-rays, but no more than that. And every time I go into the dentist, I have a fight with my dentist. And in the end, I win, because I think that I have a right to refuse something. But, I mean, I still have X-rays. Don't get me wrong. I'm not that crazy. I don’t wear tinfoil in my head. But I don't like excessive radiation exposure. 

[00:23:51] MB: That makes total sense. So, we avoid some of the causes of DNA damage. What are some of the strategies for making your sirtuins more effective?

[00:24:02] DS: Good question. We found in yeast that just by putting in an extra copy of the gene sirtu, they lived 30% longer, and that mimic the effects of fasting or caloric restriction as it used to be called more commonly. And that's how we figured out how this all works. That the environment is stressful or at least perceived adversity in the environment like low amounts of sugar for a yeast cell would activate the sirtuins and make more of it or we could genetically modify those cells within a few days, and that was sufficient too. 

So what turns on those genes naturally, because we can't easily genetically engineer ourselves. One way is to take what are called sirtuin-activating molecules. Those are molecules we’ve discovered over the years will bind to the enzyme and make it work more effectively, like speeding up a Pac-Man. You can also just have foodstuffs that have these chemicals in them. So there's a little bit in red wine [inaudible 00:25:00], which was the first activator that got some press from our lab. Olive oil now, oleic acid turns out to be an activator. 

But ideally you want to have more than just a trace amounts that are in red wine. I’ve admitted, but I don't endorse products, that I take resveratrol and I've done so for about 14 years now. But in daily life, let's say you’re opposed to taking any pills of whatsoever. Exercise will dilute certain types of high-intensity exercise as well as weightlifting, both of which I do. You can fast, be hungry for a little bit of the day each day. I try to skip breakfast. Well, I always skip breakfast. I try to skip lunch. I eat a regular dinner with a bit of a wine, and that's fine. I haven't admitted this publicly, I don't think ever before. But I struggle with this diet. I mean, I love food. My brain is like everybody else's. I like to eat. And occasionally at night, especially if I’ve had a glass of wine, I might grab some snacks. But really, I don’t do that every night. But I am only human. I say that because it's important to try. And even if you are not perfect at these diets, it's the mere fact you’re trying that’s really important. 

So those are all the things. There’re also some saunas and cold plunges that are a little bit less proven. But there is all evidence for these things turning on the sirtuins. 

[00:26:24] AF: This episode of the Science of Success if brought to you by our partners at the Business Casual Podcast. Business Casual is a new podcast by Morning Brew that make news enjoyable, relatable, and dare I say even fun. Host, Kinsey Grant, interviews the biggest names in business program topics like how technology is changing the fitness industry, to the economics of influencer marketing. It’s the business podcast that makes you smarter and makes you laugh. It’s that mixture of entertainment, but also information. Listen to Business Casual wherever you get your podcasts today. 

[00:27:03] MB: You've talked a lot about fasting, and even if you go on some of your social media profiles, one of the most predominant themes that you share is that the importance of fasting and increasing your longevity. Tell me a little bit more about how that works and why it's so effective. 

[00:27:19] DS: We've known for over 80 years that caloric restriction extends the lifespan of many animals. It started in rats. It’s been done in mice, and everything from a spider to a dog. Caloric restriction works, and caloric restriction, the way it used to be done was you give an animal about 70% to 80% of what it would normally eat. That means they’re pretty hungry for most of the time. So that's not enjoyable, and what used to be only about a thousand people that I knew of that did this rigorously. They even had a website, it was calorierestriction.org. They have some really good recipes, mostly salads, say. 

But the modern way of doing it, more modern, and I think easier way to do it, is to – Of course, not eat during the night. So you have an early-ish dinner. I tend to eat around 7PM, and then try not to eat after that. For breakfast, the most I would have would be a spoon or two of homemade yogurt partly for the micro-vein, partly to dissolve my resveratrol, which is like eating brick dust, and then skip lunch. So what’s happening to the body when you do that is that, first of all, there is the obvious things that all doctors will tell you, and probably most people know already, which is that blood sugar levels will come down and your body will start to make its own blood sugar out of the liver, or sugar glucose, and it will start to burn fat. All good things. 

But here's the thing that most people don't understand, at least two really important things happen during that. One is that you’re going to make oleic acid, which is a breakdown product of white fat, white adipose tissue, and that has just been discovered to activate the enzyme, SIRT1, and that’s going to stabilize your epigenome and help repair the telomeres and broken DNA and fix the misholded proteins and dampen inflammation that leads to disease. Yeah, just being hungry and burning fat is actually healthy. I don't think anybody that I know of understands this very well. 

And the second thing that happens is that you will have low levels of glucose that trigger insulin, and then that state will actually turn on the SIRT1 enzyme as well through insulin signaling, which has been linked to aging for many years ever since Cynthia Kenyon discovered that worms, nematode worms that are mutant in insulin signaling live twice as long. 

Yeah, what we’re learning is that these things that we’ve bumped into like eating Mediterranean diets, being hungry that people probably knew thousands of years ago were actually correct at the fundamental molecular level of slowing aging down. 

[00:29:58] MB: Another one that I find really fascinating that I know you've talked about previously as well is cold exposure. Tell me a little bit about how cold exposure works to reverse or slow the aging process.

[00:30:09] DS: So when I started writing my book, the editor said, “You've got to put more of the pop culture stuff, the –” What is it? Cryotherapy? And this is going back three years ago now. It wasn't very scientific at all to say the least. And I rebelled and I said, “I don't want to put that kind of stuff in my book. This is going to be the best science that you’ll ever read.” But I looked into it, and interestingly, there is some validity to cold therapy and also saunas. Again, I thought probably BS, but it actually looks good. It's not as clear as the fasting that I just talked about. But cold therapy, what it'll do is it'll turn on or activate white fat to become brown fat, or beige fat, which is an intermediate form. 

So what is brown fat? Brown fat is found in babies, because babies for the first few weeks cannot shiver, and instead they use brown fat to heat themselves, and that's how they stay warm. But it was thought that after we become little toddlers, we lose out brown fat. But people recently, maybe the last five years, have discovered that adults also have brown fat. And the way to turn on, activate the brown fat brown your existing fat just under the skin is to be called. And I'm not talking about walking out in a windy day for two minutes. That's probably not going to do it. What you need to do is to shock the system. You need to expose the skin to really tough cold. 

In a mouse, what we do is we put them at 4°C, like put them in a fridge for a little bit, and we see they can get brown fat. Possibly, pull them out again and warm them up. Don’t worry, we don’t hurt them any more than us going out on a winter's day. But you can do a cold plunge. You can do cryotherapy. These things potentially are very good for us. 

Getting back to my work and the sirtuins, one of the – So let me tell you, there are seven sirtuin genes in our body, and I've mostly been talking about number one, six and seven, which are found on DNA. But there are others that are floating around outside the nucleus. And number three, four and five are in the mitochondria, which I'm sure you all know is that power packs, the energy-generating system of the cell. And those sirtuins actually are controlling particularly number three sirtuin, controls the browning when it's cold. 

So, really, you got to think of these sirtuins as the body’s protectors. They’re like the Pentagon. And when there's an emergency or even a potential emergency, they send out the troops and make the body more defensive. Conversely, I want to put this in, Matt, because I don't forget to say, because I t’s really, really important. If you never experience cold, and typically we go from our garage, to our cars, to our houses, to work. If you don't experience hot like a sauna, if you don't ever feel hungry, and you don't need to today. If you barely ever exercise, if you barely ever lift anything heavy, you sirtuin survival circuit is going to just relax and say, “Cool, man. This is great.” And your epigenome is going to degrade and you’re going to find that you have diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and Alzheimer's much quicker than someone else who did all the right things. 

[00:33:21] MB: That's another point that I think is so fascinating, which is the importance of having some kind of external stressor to actually keep your sirtuins – I don't know the right term, but productive, proactive, etc. Tell me a little bit more about that concept and why some level of stress, whether it's hunger, etc., cold, extreme heat and so forth is actually important. 

[00:33:46] DS: Well, from an evolutionary perspective, what I have proposed is that this is a very ancient survival circuit that has been around since life first was in the primordial pond, I guess you’d call it. It’s really a set of genes that responds to perceived threats, whether it's a lack of nutrients on DNA damage, or whatever it is. It could be UV light coming in. It could be a lack of amino acids. And it turns on this survival circuit, and the sirtuins are part of that.

Now, there are other components that are important to know about. One is mTOR, which works best for longevity when there're low amounts of amino acids. So, if all you ate is a steak every night, your mTOR is going to work for you. And then there's one called AMPK, which is short for AMP kinase, which is a protein that senses how much energy we have, and it'll come on when we’re hungry and when our cells don't have enough energy, and it'll switch on the mitochondria and make them more active, which actually turns out to be beneficial for repairing things and living longer. When you have all of those survival genes switched on, whether you’re an early microbe in the primordial soup or a human being 3.7 billion years later, it's all good. In fact, it's better than good. 

[00:35:04] MB: So, in our modern lives of luxury and comfort, relatively speaking, because most people in have things like air conditioning, and so forth, we’re not living like we used to live thousands of years ago. The fact that we have many of these comforts today has actually made us from an epigenetic standpoint more prone to aging and disease. Is that correct?

[00:35:29] DS: It’s 100%, and it's similar to use it or lose it. We live in a world, a modern world, the marketing world, consumer world has decided that the best way to make money is to give us comfort and satiety, lots of sugar, lots of salt, lots of fat, lots of comfy chairs, right? This is what our brain seeks. Our brain doesn't want to be running away from a sabertooth tiger or being hungry, because that's dangerous. So we've evolved, unfortunately, to crave these comforts. But what that leads to in the long run is susceptibility to diseases, including infectious diseases as we’re finding out now.

[00:36:10] MB: I want to come back to something we talked about earlier, because I understand – And it makes total sense to me that somebody who's eating healthy and sleeping well and cultivating healthy stress in their life, all of these things, is going to slow down their aging. But at least from my experience, I haven't seen a lot of people who start eating salad and jogging and suddenly go from being 65 to being 25. Tell me about how does this get into the actual reversal of aging and what is some of the cutting edge science that you're working on? Some the interventions that you're seeing that may eventually emerge that we can start to implement to actually not only just slow our aging down, but really think ultimately about potentially reversing aging.

[00:36:49] DS: Yeah. Well, yeah. Slowing down aging was step one. And I would say that we’re pretty far into that as a field. There are drugs like rapamycin that inhibit mTOR, which extend the lifespan of rodents at least by 20%. That’s a pretty good start. But, you're right. You can't give rapamycin or resveratrol to a mouse and expect it to suddenly go back to being young again. We don't see that. 

Now, I will say that we’ve been somewhat successful. In my lab, for example, we can activate the sirtuin enzymes and get part of their youth back. We published a paper a couple of years ago in the Journal Cell that showed that by activating the SIRT1 enzyme in the lining of blood vessels, the endothelial cells, which by the way are what COVID is seeming to be attacking. Those mice could go from being elderly and weak and unable to run on a treadmill to running up to two times further like a young mouse. So there are aspects. Aspects is important. Not the whole animal, but suspects can be reversed. 

But how far are we from flip a switch and in three weeks you literally get your hair back, your hair color? You get your eyesight back? Your brain works like it was young. Hopefully, you’ll retain all your memories. We’re testing that right now. So, what it needs is something a little bit more potent than just activating sirtuins. You have to get the sirtuins and these other proteins that they work with to go back to where they came from when they started, when we were babies, and get those methyl groups, those cloverleaves to be going back to the pattern that they had when we were young. 

And we don't know all of the workings of the system, but we do know actually how to contact the cell and initiate a program that does exactly that, which is get the sirtuins to go back, we think. But what we definitely see, and we’re going to be publishing this for the first time, is that you can trigger these TET enzymes that I mentioned earlier, these are enzymes that remove those methyls off DNA. And when you trigger those, the clock goes back quite a lot by 50%. But here's the kicker. If you don't have a TET enzymes in your body, or if you're a cell or a mouse, I should say, then reprogramming doesn't work, and the tissues that we’re looking a – Typically we do the eye, the old eye, then reprogramming doesn't work. You don’t get a young eye back. 

If you do have the TETs around, and we initiate this program effectively, in three weeks, we can take an old mouse that’s essentially blind to back to seeing like it was young again. That's where we’re at. And what's exciting about this is that if we can reverse aging in the eye, which is a very complex tissue, it's possible we can reverse aging in any part of the body, and that's what we’re testing now, and that's what we’re working towards in clinical trials to test whether we can reverse the damage that is caused by pressure in the eye, glaucoma. I'm sure you've heard of it. And this is one of the largest causes of blindness on the planet. Right now, there's nothing you can do once you've lost your vision or you’re losing it. You can have a little bit of slowdown by some treatments. But to be truly reversing, that damage is unprecedented. And we’re pretty excited about testing to see if this will work in people as well.

[00:40:10] MB: It’s so fascinating, and I’m definitely going to be watching from the sideline. Anxious to see how this research progresses and hope that in a few years or maybe a decade or two, this is something that really can become mainstream and help people start to actually reverse aging. It will be truly fascinating to see that.

[00:40:27] DS: Well, yeah. Sometimes people think, “Oh! This is just hype, because it sounds too god to be true. But I’ve got some very good people on this. I’ve got a number of companies that I work with and I’ve cofounded. The one I’m reprograming, it’s still in stealth. So I won’t say too much about it. But it's got some really top people from the pharmaceutical industry, from banking. And if anyone can do it, this team can. 

So it's really real, right? I could be wrong. Maybe it only works in mouse size and it'll never work in anything else. But I think that's highly unlikely, because we didn’t choose the eye for any specific reason other than we like a challenge. And my student knows a little bit about the retina, but we could've chosen the liver. We could've chosen the kidney. And we’ll see if we can reprogram an entire animal soon. But you asked what does this mean for us. Clearly, I'm not going to let you come to my lab and inject yourself with the gene therapy that we use. It's a virus, by the way, that will inject into the eye and turn on three reprogramming genes. We call them, OS and K. It's an acronym for four Oct4, Sox2 and Klf4, which people currently use to make stem cells out of adult cells, but we use it to reprogram the animal. 

But, yeah, that's where we’re at. So what we do in our lives? Well, if you can give me a few years, I'll let you know if we’re on the right track for all of us. But until then, what I would say is that you should definitely watch this space. My colleagues and I, my three cofounders, four of us, are working on the next generation. We have now found small molecules. In other words, chemicals, that we can get even in our diet or from a supplement that will hopefully do the same thing, literally, a youth pill. And I hate to use that term, because it sounds like a bunch of BS. But it's true. And these are people who I think could potentially win a Nobel Prize for those kinds of discoveries.

[00:42:19] MB: It’s so fascinating, and it's just such an interesting topic. I'm curious, you touched on one or two of these, but what are some of the – All caveats included in this. But what are some of the supplements or treatments that you take things like resveratrol, metformin, etc. that potentially can mitigate some of the impacts of aging?

[00:42:40] DS: Right. I'll refer listeners to my book, because it's a list and that's all explained why I do and what I do. Page 304 if you want to go to the cheat sheet, but do read the book as, well because it explains in more detail about the things we’ve talked about like exercise and diet in more detail. But some of the main ones that I will tell you now, a gram of resveratrol, just basically teaspoon of a powder. I got to say upfront, because everyone will want to know this. Unfortunately, I have to be very careful. I'm not a doctor. I’m a Ph.D. I'm at Harvard. Very conservative. I don't have companies. I'm not making money off this. I definitely don't mention companies. And the reason is that my name and Harvard are used all the time, unfortunately, to sell products. And Harvard gets very upset. So do I.

So I'm not to mention products. But I will tell you in general what to look for, and I also explained a bit in my book that you want high quality supplements, which means that the resveratrol should be gray or white in color, not brown. 

The next one I take is NMN, which is what's called an NAD precursor. And we haven't talked about NAD today, but NAD is the fuel for sirtuins. Without it, sirtuins don't do any of their job. They don’t spool up the DNA. As we get older, we think we make less and less of this NAD. And we need NAD also for life.  Mitochondria need it to make energy, for example. I supplement with – What is it? About 750 to a thousand milligrams of NMN every morning as well to boost my NAD levels up. Now, that’s some proven – There haven't been a lot of clinical trials with NMN yet, as supposed for resveratrol, where there’s a pretty good literature. So it’s still – I'm giving all the caveats. So I’m a scientist after all. But I am doing clinical trials with hospitals around Boston to test this. And for the last two years, we've never seen anything that's being a worry in terms of safety. So I feel quite comfortable talking about it. 

The other kind of things I do, let's say I do the usual aspirin, which I'm now convinced is protecting against many types of cancer. You just have to careful to get the coated ones. You don’t want to hurt your stomach lining in the long run. What else do I do? I take a metformin, you mentioned. Metformin is a severe – Well, not severe. It's a potent molecule. It's used to treat type II diabetes. It's a derivative of a molecule out of a French lilac client. It's been used in millions of people and it's very safe in general, but it's not 100%. So you got to be careful if you take it. You could get lactic acidosis, which could damage your body. 

But in general, it's pretty safe. But it also requires a prescription. So you need to talk to you doctor. I’ll tell you ahead of time that most doctors are not happy prescribing metformin to a young or a healthy individual. They’re trained to wait and to actually get type II diabetes. And as soon as you cross that threshold, they’ll give it to you or prescribe it. 

I get frustrated. I understand where they’re coming from. But still, it is frustrating that metformin is so safe, so cheap and can prevent type II diabetes. But you have to get a disease for most doctors to treat the symptoms. Anyway, good luck with your doctors there. Not much we can do about that at this point. But I'm trying to educate doctors that metformin looks like one of the best molecules for delaying diseases of aging in tens of thousands of people that have been looked at with type II diabetes that turn out to be relatively resistant to cancer and heart disease, and frailty, and Alzheimer's even compared to those who never had type II diabetes, which is quite an amazing proposition. 

I'm trying other things. Alpha-lipoic acid is something that's used in mitochondria. I take that. I’m on regular drugs. I’ve have had high cholesterol most of my life since I was in my 20s. So I take Lipitor. Much to the chagrin of Joe Rogan who thinks that I might be hurting myself. But I've got a condition. So I have to do that. But to compensate, you should know that should be taking CoQ10, the soluble form of it, because you can deplete your CoQ10. Without CoQ10, your mitochondria are a less effective. Actually, without CoQ10, you’re dead. But you don’t want to be depleted in it at all. That some of what I do, but what I've found is that combination of the first three, metformin, NMN and resveratrol really had a big impact on my body. I measure my body as a scientist should to see what's happening, especially if I’m going to talk about it in my book and on podcast. It's really been quite beneficial to my body. My cholesterol levels have never been better. My bad cholesterol, actually, it's lower than my good cholesterol. I still can't believe it. HDL levels are usually a fraction of your LDL, and you try to get them closer at a ratio of five or less. I have a ratio of less than one, which is quite a thing to think about. 

[00:47:32] MB: Some great suggestions, and obviously, again, all of that with extreme caveats. And read the book, because it actually goes much more detailed explanation of the science, the warnings, all the things you should pay attention to. So don’t just jump in to the ship without doing a little more homework, but those are some things that I'm certainly going investigate and see if it makes sense to get into.

[00:47:53] DS: There’s another thing I want to say. It's good point. Thanks, Matt, for saying that. The other reason that you shouldn't just take a list and go with that is that everybody's different. And if you don't understand why something works or measure it, you don't know. I mean, most people are not like me. I would bet that most people listening to this are not Hungarian derived 50-year-old males with ADHD and sleeping issues. That’s me, right? But my microbiome is also quite personal. So it's going to – I think everybody should try things if they’re into it. Do it in a stepwise fashion. Make sure that it doesn't hurt them. Make sure they feel well. Make sure their liver is still functioning well, if not better, and then work up from there. It's really important to know. You don't just take a handful of pills and hope it's going to work. That's not the point. 

[00:48:44] MB: So, for somebody who's listened to this whole conversation and wants to start with some first action step, what would be the first thing you would recommend that they do to begin slowing down the aging process in their bodies?

[00:48:58] DS: Gee! Well, if you’re aiming on only one thing, I would say it would be less often. But importantly, I'm not talking about any eating disorders. I'm not talking about malnutrition. You’ve got to eat well, and you can actually eat about the same amount of calories as normal. But space out the meals and don’t snack in between.

I have a beef with nutritionists who are under – Many of them are under the impression and telling their clients or customers or patients that you shouldn't feel hungry. It's bad to feel hungry. I think that goes against all the science that we have right now. It’s actually good to be hungry. It’s not good to be too hungry. It's not good to be too thin. It’s not good to be deficient in vitamins and minerals, but it is good to feel hungry. 

[00:49:45] MB: David, for listeners who want to find out more about Lifespan, about you, about your work and everything you've got going on, so much interesting stuff that we didn't even get to jump into much of it. Where can they find you online?

[00:49:57] DS: Well, I have a newsletter which comes out every 10 or 15 days now. A lot of it is on the current situation of the world, I'm right in the middle of all of this. Surprisingly, aging is just part of what I do. Lifespanbook.com, lifespan book.com, you can sign up for that. There’re links to my podcast. There are blogs that I've written, and you can get the backdated copies of my newsletter as well, which have all the little tips that you may not find in the book like have a cup of hot water. It actually makes you no longer feel hungry. So those kind of things are all in there. I'm also on social media pretty often with new things that I'm reading over time, including ways to get through the next couple of years with COVID. That’s who I am.

The book, I really encourage people to read it mainly because the people who have given me feedback have said it has been life-changing for them, which is great to hear. But also because it's a really unusual book, and I'll tell you why. I'm a tenured professor at Harvard. So, unless I do something really outrageous, I'm not going to lose my job. So I can take risks. And the risks that I took that most scientists, probably nearly all scientists would not have taken, would be to write a book about the research that we were doing before we published it, right?

You can read about details in my lab and what it was like to discover reprogramming of the body and reset the age of the eye and make nice run twice as far. That's all in the book. A lot of that is only coming out now to the scientific world, and I'm proud of that, because I think that the public has a right to know what goes on behind the scenes. They have a right to because they paid for it, right? My salary comes out of the National Institutes of Health, which is paid by all the taxpayers in the US. So I'm here talking tonight not because I like to hear my voice. In fact, it’s the opposite. But because I love the idea that everybody can get interested in science and learn how to live longer better lives. 

[00:51:57] MB: Well, David. Thank you so much for coming on the show, for sharing all this wisdom. So many great insights and a really deep look at how our bodies age and what we can do to combat that. 

[00:52:09] DS: Well. Thanks, Matt. It's been great being on. 

[00:52:12] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

July 30, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Health & Wellness
BlakeMycoskie_2-03.png

(B) How To Live the Life You Are Truly Made For with TOMS Founder Blake Mycoskie

July 28, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Influence & Communication

In this interview, we dig into the incredible story of Blake Mycoskie, the one for one model, and what it’s like to be an entrepreneur, be the founder of TOMS, and ultimately find happiness. 

Blake Mycoskie is a serial entrepreneur, philanthropist, and best-selling author most known for founding TOMS Shoes and is the person behind the idea of One for One®, a business model that helps a person in need with every product purchased.

Born and raised in Texas, Blake now resides in Jackson, Wyoming with his family, dogs, and horses. In his free time, you can find him outside enjoying nature whether it is rock climbing, surfing, or snowboarding. Most recently, he’s started a new company called Madefor to help you find specific things you could learn that would transform your daily life!

I’ve joined the most recent class of Madefor and you can too! Go to https://getmadefor.com/ and use the code MFSUCCESS for 20% off the program!

For more information:  www.blakemycoskie.com

  • Blakes incredible story of how he came to found TOMS, Madefor, and more!

  • How Blake’s childhood competitiveness kept him driven.

  • The first businesses Blake every started you may not know about!

  • How One for One came to be as a business idea!

  • How does giving back lead ultimately to profits?

  • Some of the most impactful life habits you can adopt - proven by hard science. 

  • How Blake learned and practices self-discipline. 

  • How to craft your own personal or family mission statement to guide you through life and business. 

  • Word matters - find those that ring true to your soul. 

  • How to keep not only your mind but your body in shape using proven science. 

  • How to find happiness within and not depend on outside sources that will eventually fade with time. 

  • How Blake overcame depression and found meaning in a new chapter in life. 

  • Austin shares his journey through dark times and what helped him overcome self-doubt. 

  • What out there in the world of self-improvement has been proven?

  • You find happiness internally, not from things. 

  • How to not only adopt new habits and practices but how to also sustain them over the long haul. 

  • How Madefor uses the proven data behind the science to make your habits stick. 

  • Blakes Top 2...

    • Sleep 

    • Gratitude

  • How to begin to express more gratitude intentionally in your life and the health benefits it has on you. 

  • Homework: You have to work to understand your own mission and core values. 

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Thank you so much for listening!

Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Blake’s Website and Wiki Article

  • Blake’s LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

Media

  • Forbes - “Brand Purpose Evolution From Single Event, To 360° Change Agent” by Michelle Greenwald

  • MBG Mindfulness - “How I'm Shifting My Mindset Right Now, From The Founder Of TOMS” By Amitha Kalaichandran, M.D.

  • Inc. - “Toms Founder Blake Mycoskie's Simple Habits for Recovering From Burnout” by Kimberly Weisul

  • CNBC - “How burnout inspired Toms founder Blake Mycoskie to start his next business” by Lucy Handley

  • Footwear News - “Toms Shoes Founder Blake Mycoskie Launches New Wellness Business” By Neil Weilheimer

  • Daniel H. Pink - “3 Questions for Blake Mycoskie, founder of TOMS Shoes”

  • Vogue - “Blake Mycoskie Is Flourishing—And You Will Too If You Try His New Wellness Program, Madefor” By Nicole Phelps

  • GritDaily - “TOMS Founder Blake Mycoskie Creates Wellness Kit” By Jori Ayers

  • Fast Company - Articles on Blake Mycoskie

  • SHRM - “TOMS Founder Blake Mycoskie Encourages Self-Help After Depression Diagnosis” By Dori Meinert

  • Foundr - “267: How TOMS Founder Blake Mycoskie Blazed a Trail for Social Entrepreneurs” by Nathan Chan

  • Esalen CTR - “Blake Mycoskie on Why I Started Toms” by Blake Mycoskie

  • HBR - “The Founder of TOMS on Reimagining the Company’s Mission” by Blake Mycoskie

  • Crunchbase Profile - Blake Mycoskie

  • Article Directory on Medium and Huffpost

  • [Podcast] Storybrand - Should Your Company Take a Stand on a Social Issue? - Interview with Blake Mycokie

  • [Podcast] Why Not Now? with Amy Jo Martin - Episode 113: Blake Mycoskie - If Not You, Who? If Not Now When?

  • [Podcast] How I Built This with Guy Raz - TOMS: Blake Mycoskie

Videos

  • TOMS YouTube Channel

  • Sadhguru - Why Are We Not Naturally Enlightened? - Sadhguru with Blake Mycoskie (Founder, TOMS)

  • The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon - Toms Founder Blake Mycoskie Announces $5 Million Donation to End Gun Violence

  • Daily Stoic - This Is How You Change The World | Ryan Holiday on Blake Mycoskie | Daily Stoic Podcast

  • Lewis Howes - Blake Mycoskie: TOMS Shoes Founder on Changing Business and The World

  • Tom Bilyeu - Humanize Your Mission - Blake Mycoskie | Inside Quest #76

  • CNBC International TV - Blake Mycoskie, Founder of TOMS | The Brave Ones

  • Bulletproof - Invisible Patterns, Finding Joy & Other Lessons with the Founder of TOMS Shoes - Blake Mycoskie

  • AT&T - AT&T & TOMS - Connecting to Make a Difference | AT&T

  • Skype - TOMS founder Blake Mycoskie at TED 2015

Books

  • Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to the Science of Success. Introducing your host, Matt Bodnar. 

[00:00:11] AF: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Science of Success, the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with over five million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. My name is Austin Fabel, and I'm really excited to bring you this interview today. 

Today, we’re going to interview Blake Mycoskie. We’re going to dig into his journey of founding several companies, most notably Toms Shoes and his latest endeavor, Madefor. We dig into the science of how small tweaks in your routine can lead to huge impacts, and some of the most impactful habits and routines Blake and his team have uncovered, and how you can really find true and sustainable happiness in life. 

Are you a fan of the show? If so, do me a favor and go to www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our email list. You can sign up right on the homepage. We’re going to give you a lot of goodies in the email list including a free course. We put a ton of time into called How to Create Time for What Matters Most in Your Life, as well as our weekly newsletter, Mindset Monday. We’re going to keep you up-to-date on all things going on here at the Science of Success. 

Are you on the go? Are you on the phone right now? Just pull it right out and text smarter. That's S-M-A-R-T-E-R to 44222, and that will sign you up immediately. 

In our previous episode, we dug into the science of decision-making and thinking with best-selling author Ozan Varol. Ozan and I went into how you can pivot your life and dig into his incredible life story, including being a part of the team that sent the first rovers to Mars and also how you can question your assumptions and really challenge your own opinions to make sure you’re thinking like a rocket scientist. 

And now onto my interview with Blake. 

[00:01:57] AF: Blake, welcome to the Science of Success. 

[00:02:00] BM: Hey, Austin. Thanks so much for having me on the show. Well, I really appreciate the time, and it's great to have you on. As I was telling you kind of before we started, digging into just all of your past work. Obviously, Toms is huge, Madefor going to be huge, continuing to grow. But there’s just so much to unpack there from your life and just the different entrepreneurial journeys. It was just so fascinating to learn about you.

I’d like to kind of start. Just tell us a little about yourself, where you're from. Touch on some of your past endeavors and really kind of what led you down this path of founding Toms and then eventually Madefor. 

[00:02:31] BM: Yeah. I grew up in Arlington, Texas and my kind of earliest passion in life was I was a very competitive tennis player, and I think a lot of my entrepreneurial success actually comes from the self-discipline and just like a focus that I had as a very competitive young tennis player. Also, tennis being an individual sport I think was a great precursor to being an entrepreneur, because you didn't have a team to fall back on. That's one of the things that you hear a lot about entrepreneurial life is it can be quite lonely because you are the person who's responsible for calling most of the shots. I, for the first – From age 10 to basically 20, tennis was my entire life. I then shifted over to becoming an entrepreneur in my early 20s, and that's what has characterized most of my life since then.

[00:03:25] AF: When you look at founding Toms, tell us kind of how that got started. Did you always know you wanted to start a company that was going to have a social kind of giveback component to it or was that something that kind of evolved as the journey went on?

[00:03:36] BM: Yeah. The question itself is really interesting because I don't think you would have asked that question 13 years ago because people weren’t talking about businesses or social components. When I started Toms, there was no real concept of a conscious capitalism or a social business. I mean, it's hard to believe now because it's so important and so woven into the fabric of entrepreneurship in business. But when I started Toms, that wasn’t even a concept, so if you can go back to that mindset. 

When I started Toms, I wasn’t even thinking that I was really building a business. I just knew that I saw many children around the world, specifically in South America where I was at the time, who were living in great poverty so much that they couldn't afford a simple pair of shoes. At the same time, I discovered this really great shoe in Argentina that all my friends who were polo players and their girlfriends are wearing around town, and I just kind of put the two ideas together. I thought these are really cool shoes. I could sell them. I think the style is cool. I’ve never seen anything like this in the US. But I think what would be the coolest way to do it is I could sell a pair in the US and then come back and give a pair to all these kids I’ve been seeing in the streets and in some of these neighborhoods who don't have a simple pair of shoes. 

It really was just more of kind of a what if or this would be fun. Or we called it the shoes for tomorrow project, and it really wasn't until the shoes kind of gotten noticed by the fashion community and not even say kind of Brooklyn hipsters, if you will, that it started to grow so fast that I realized, “Well, this could actually be a business and help a lot of people.” Then it was later that academics and journalists started labeling what I was doing as a social enterprise or conscious capitalism or all of this. But I never really self-labeled it that at all. 

[00:05:35] AF: It’s so interesting too. Just to bring up the point 13 years ago, that wouldn't even be a question. I know you’ve spoken in the past about how social media was kind of on the rise at this time too, so like the visibility into doing the right thing and kind of building out the social aspect to a business. That was really amplified by a lot of that but really it was cutting edge at the time., 

Now, you just see it’s everywhere. I think Warby Parker does something similar, the one-for-one kind of model. But it’s really kind of set the standard for, especially in the world of social consumerism too, right? People want to know that the companies that they're giving their money are doing something to help the community at large, and so it’s just so fascinating how it was kind of something that wasn't really planned ahead of time but quickly evolved into something that was just a huge win-win not only for you entrepreneurially but also just for the world at large and the people that you are trying to help. 

[00:06:23] BM: Yeah. I know it's truly one of things that I'm sure I’ll look back at the end of my life on and be most grateful for because it's not just the fact that Toms has now given 96 million children a pair of shoes, which is a number that's hard to believe. Or 600,000 people that we've given eyesight too through our eye program. But it's all the hundreds and thousands of businesses that have incorporated and emulated our business model and all the good that they've done. That’s what I really – When I’m being reflective and thinking about impact, that’s what I really like to think about. 

[00:06:58] AF: Yeah. It’s definitely, definitely something worth looking back and being very proud of. There's so much I want to dig into too, and it was hard to kind of narrow some of these down. I mean, 

everything just from novel things like being on the great escape to like changing the way advertising works on buildings in Nashville. I do want to dig into Madefor but I'm going to table that kind of to have its own section of this interview. 

But it’s funny looking at everything like on your resume and that you've done it. There's been so many different things. Like I said, the great escape, changing advertising in Nashville, a dry cleaning in college when you’re at SMU, but it always just kind of seemed like you've really had a stable kind of why, like you understand that there – The why behind what you're doing. I mean, I even look at what you did with gun control. I mean, it's incredible and it’s admirable. How do you recommend someone go out and try to find their own why and try to find their own purpose, because there's really no roadmap or something like that, right? But if you want to work at a job or do something that you enjoy every day, it’s important to find that. 

Then [inaudible 00:07:57] is kind of a selfish question for me because I feel like in certain phases of life, my why can completely change, right? It’s almost like a seasonal type thing. How do you go about recommending someone find that?

[00:08:08] BM: Well, a couple things. I mean, first is I know we’re going to get into Madefor later, but that’s actually where the name Madefor came from was that we believe that at some point in our life, we all ask this question. What am I made for? That’s very much connected to what is my why. Why you say there's not a roadmap, I would say that we have found some very systematic ways to help people get there because I think a lot of people wallow in this kind of moment of hoping that their big whys is just going to become this epiphany that it kind of smacks them in the head one day and gives them all this clarity and purpose. But it actually takes some work to get there. 

I’ll just give you a few key things that I think I have helped me and some of this is is actually integrated into the Madefor program. The first thing is most businesses have a mission statement that became very popular in the 80s and has continued on, and almost every new company has some pretty clear articulation of why they're in business. But very few humans have personal mission statements. Or if they do, they don’t necessarily have them like plastered up in their kitchen that they read every single morning and recommit to. 

I am a big believer in developing a personal or I would even say a family mission statement, because a family mission statement helps define the culture of how you’re going to raise your children on how you’re going to conduct your family. The best way to get to a family mission statement or a personal mission statement is actually first to do the work of identifying your core values. We have a process with Madefor that is very specific about really looking at long list of words and seeing which words really connect to you in your gut. There's all the science now around how your gut, this feeling or the gut feeling is actually quite intelligent that you intuitively know like, “Oh, this word means something to me.”

Now, I could go down a full rabbit hole of my spiritual beliefs and how I think that there's reasons why a certain word might really resonate with you based on what your purpose is and why you came to this earth to work through that purpose. But even if you don't believe any of that stuff, there’s just people will say, “Oh, grace.” That word really somehow means or courageous. Oh, yeah. That deals right to me. I want to be courageous, but they might not want to be brave. For whatever reason, words matter. In order to get to your purpose and your why and ultimately your mission statement, what I like to do is take people through this exercise, which we do with Madefor where we really help you identify words that just feel right to you, which ultimately become your core values. Then through your core values, you derive your ultimate mission statement. 

My mission statement in life is to live a courageous life with grace and moderation. This podcast is probably not the place to go through dissecting that, but those are very specific words that some people might not attest with me or think like, “Oh, I don't see that. But it all makes sense to me because then it goes into my core values and the way that I operate my life.” But I think that it is so important and it is such a proven technique for kind of personal well-being and mental health to have that clear mission statement and these core values because then you can orient the way that you spend your time around that. There’s nothing more satisfying than dedicating and feeling like your time spent every day is aligned with the values that you set. That’s, once again, why we named it Madefor after doing a lot of work around. 

[00:11:55] AF: Yeah. It’s such an incredibly powerful exercise, and working on my own mission statement has also been kind of a personal journey for me and something that I kind of have to really, really drill down on. I think I'm going to give this a stab tonight and just see what I can come up with. I've never really sat down and done the exercise of thinking through just words that really hit me in the gut, but it seems like a pretty nice and really kind of intuitive place to start. 

[00:12:18] BM: Absolutely, absolutely. 

[00:12:20] AF: Let's go ahead and go there then. Tell us the story of what led you to Madefor. It sounds kind of like you were a little bit adrift. I mean, you sold off 50% of Toms. I’ve kind of read a bunch of articles. You’ve adopted mountain climbing and racecar driving, and there was a lot kind of things going on there that’s ultimately led you to Madefor. Share with us a little bit of that story, and let’s dig into more about Madefor. 

[00:12:39] BM: Sure. I sold half of Toms in 2014, and that was a very big moment in my life. I grew up with kind of middle-class upper, middle-class family. But, I mean, I really bootstrap Toms. I had no investors. Every penny kind of went back into building Toms. Then I got to a place where I built this company that had half a billion in sales and was helping tens of millions of people a year. I recognized that I didn't want the pressure of owning 100% anymore and that I really want to bring in some partners in to help me grow the business. Really selling half a Toms was not about getting a liquidity event but more bringing in the right partners to help grow the mission. 

Now, at that same time, I made $350 million which is more money than I would ever spend and that I could ever imagine. I pledged about half of that money to go back to helping social entrepreneurs and then growing their businesses. I’ve invested in over 30 businesses since that with that fund and have a lot of dry powder to continue to do so. But most people would say, “Oh, my gosh. You now have just this incredible wealth. You have a family. You have friends. You have been celebrated as kind of changing the way that we do business. You must've been at your all-time happiest.” 

I will say that for about a year, a year and a half, the buzz of all that really carried me through and really did give me a deep sense of feeling of happiness and excitement. That’s when I started mountain climbing and got in great shape and racecar driving and all of these things that I'd always kind dreamed of but never had the time or money to do. Well, that led to about 2016 when kind of the music stopped, as I like to say. You can only do so much of these activities, and then ultimately some of their glimmer and shine wear off. Where I found myself was I didn't feel like I had real purpose. I had neglected a lot of my kind of physical and mental hygiene, if you will. I just kind of jumping from one exciting thing to the next. 

But the biggest thing I realized, and this was a hard realization to have, is everything that was basically contributing to my happiness or well-being wasn't external thing. It was an accomplishment. It was an accolade. It was a new racecar. It was a kid. It was a wife. I mean, all these things aren’t bad but all of my joy and contentment and well-being was coming from external factors. Ultimately, I realized that that was never going to really fulfill me on a consistent and sustainable way, and so I got diagnosed with mild depression. I had trouble getting out of bed some. I was really kind of in a dark place. 

Luckily, the way that I am wired is I don't stay in those places for very long because I'm very productive. I’m very proactive. I’m very entrepreneurial. I kind of took my entrepreneurial thinking to my own mental and physical health and said, “Okay, hold on. I've done everything that my parents and society told me to do, and I kind of feel like shit.” Clearly, I missed something here, and so I’m going to start looking at who feels great, who's thriving, who's really good reporting a sense of well-being and not just based on what they say on a podcast but actually what has been scientifically proven. I really became obsessed with science or their laboratories that were studying people who are having high energy levels and sense of contentment. What I found was there were, and a lot of it was residing in this fast-growing space of neuroscience. 

I ended up meeting a gentleman named Andrew Huberman who runs a lab at Stanford in neuroscience department. I also met a gentleman named Pat Dossett who became my business partner in Madefor, and Pat was a Navy SEAL for nine years. When I met him, he had his deep fascination and drive to help all humans live better through what he had learned in the SEALS and also what he thought science could teach us. That was the beginning of me going on a personal journey to try to feel better and to have a more predictable sustainable way to kind of live with the challenges of modern living. 

Through Andrew's guidance, I started learning a lot about neuroscience. What I found was that these simple habits and practices that certain people have found a way to integrate and sustain their life actually changed the neural pathways and really provided the insulation from the challenges of modern living. Andrew started introducing me and Pat to different scientists all over the country. Some who specialized in sleep, others who specialized in human connection, others who really looked at how the body can move and how you can get older and avoid most of the typical aches and pains that people experience. I just got so excited, and so I just dove deep into this. I mean, I had a lot of free time on my hands, and so Pat and I went and met with so many of these scientists, and we started implementing and experimenting these things with ourselves. 

No surprise here, I started feeling so much better, and it had nothing to do with any external things. It was all these internal practices that I was experimenting with with myself. So much that, and this is where I think my kind of way I'm wired is to try to help people, is that as soon as I started feeling better eyes like Pat, we have to get this information out of these labs and away from just scientists and get these to every person that we know and people that we don't know. I mean, I see so much suffering going on in the United States with so many people on antidepressants, and so many people having to take sleep aids, and young people reporting highest levels of anxiety and stress. That just really hurts to see in my own backyard and in my coworkers at Toms. I mean, I see this and I experience some of this myself. How can we get this out there? 

We spent the whole summer thinking of different things. We thought of like having like a center of excellence where people could come and learn, but we realize that would be too expensive for people and when to scale. We looked at all different types of models, and ultimately we came up with let’s identify the practices and habits that had the biggest impact with the least amount of effort because we really know that people are busy. They have a lot of stuff already in their plate, and it's really hard to add one more thing. 

Our goal was actually to find 12 things. We thought just from a packaging-marketing presentation standpoint, a year-long program where you learn one new thing each month just felt right. But the science actually told us otherwise. If you ever meet my business partner Pat, I don’t know if this comes from his military background or whatever, but he is a total no-bullshit guy, and so like he was not going to squeeze out 12 when science only showed us that there were 10. The Madefor program is only 10 months, and each month we teach you in a very specific way how to learn a new habit or practice that can transform your life and most importantly how to sustain it. We developed this program. We spent another year having 1, 300 people going through a beta test, and got incredible life transformations and testimonials out of that. Then we decided to actually launch it to the public on March 4th, and we had thousands of people going through it right now. 

[00:20:15] AF: What a great time also just coincidently to launch something, I mean, right before a pandemic hits. Some people probably need something like this. You couldn’t have planned that at least I don’t think so, but it seems like a time where people really, really need something like them.

[00:20:28] BM: Yes. I mean, the one thing that has been so gratifying, I mean, there’s been so many challenging things and experiences through COVID and everything else that’s going on in the country, but the real shining light for me has been getting feedback from so many of our members of how going through the Madefor program because you do it completely in your own home. I mean, this is not something that you have to do outside of your home each month that they’ve been able to do it during the quarantine and how it's just giving them so much grounding and something very positive to work on in their life when there's so much uncertainty and stress. 

One of the other really interesting things about Madefor and it also is I think kind of very radical in this time and age. But once again, the reason we did it this way is because this is what the science told us, is the program is completely analog, so there's no digital app. There's no device telling you how you're doing. Everything you get, everything you need to learn that new habit or practice comes in a Madefor kit on the first day of the month. We found that people really appreciated that too, because there's so much digital distraction. There's so much desire for multitasking. This is a little bit of a refuge of they are committing to their own well-being. 

For 45 minutes, when they first get the kit, I mean, they open it up. It takes about 45 minutes to go through what you're going to do that month. Then usually, we’re only asking for 5 or 10 minutes of your day for 30 days to really ingrain that new habit and practice. People have really appreciated that. When we launched it that way, I will say we were like, “Gosh, this is where the science show it works.” But people are so obsessed with all these devices and all these apps. I don't know how people are going to respond. Well, we found that people loved it. Any excuse to get off their phone and turn it off or turn it in silent or work on themselves for a few minutes a day really has been well received, especially during the quarantine as well. 

[00:22:25] AF: This episode of the Science of Success is brought to you by our partners at the Business Casual Podcast. Business Casual is a new podcast by Morning Brew that makes business news enjoyable, relatable, and dare I say even fun. Host, Kinsey Grant, interviews the biggest names in business covering topics like how technology is changing the fitness industry to the economics of influencer marketing. It’s the business podcast that makes you smarter and makes you laugh. It gets that mixture of entertainment but also information. Listen to Business Casual wherever you get your podcasts today. 

[00:23:05] AF: There's so much I want to impact there. It’s difficult to even know where to begin, but it does seem like this would be a good place to go ahead and mention that Blake and his team have been kind enough to extend a special offer of 20% off on the Madefor program. We’re going to give that code at the end of the interview, but you did such a good job explaining the journey and the impact here, and I couldn't agree with all the principles you mentioned. I feel like this is a good time to just let people know that there will be a discount for Madefor presented at the end of the interview. 

[00:23:32] BM: I would say one of the things I love is an important part of habit and life transformation is accountability. I know you have a really robust community, so one of the reasons we did that. I'm excited about having that code, and so more people can afford to do it is really seeing how your community goes on this journey. I know you said that you’re going to sign up as well. It’s so exciting for me because I love seeing when people are growing and then they’re connecting to each other through that growth and sharing their experiences.

I got so many years of just incredibly joyful heartwarming experiences traveling the world, helping children get pairs of shoes that sometimes they've never had through Toms. But I can say that when I log on, we have a private Facebook community for members. When I log on and hear some of the people’s stories and shoot them a note back or a video back, I mean, there’s often – I usually do it on Sunday nights. I mean, there’s – Yeah, I definitely tear up. I mean, it’s amazing to see how people when they start to build some momentum. 

That's a big part of Madefor and that actually comes a lot from Pat’s experience as a Navy SEAL. They had this belief that you got to crawl first, then walk, then run. I believe a lot of transformation in life doesn't happen because people try to run too early. Madefor is all based on very simple baby steps to help you build momentum. As I see our members, many of them in month four right now, building this momentum, it just gives me so much joy. I'm so excited that members of your community are not only going to get to do this but they get to do it alongside each other. 

[00:25:07] AF: Yeah. Do it with me, guys. Come on. Let’s do it. Well, it’s interesting too. What have you seen around making things stick like habits and how is it working with Madefor because you mentioned a couple of things? I want to unpack some of these but I appreciate you sharing your depression diagnosis with us. As someone who also has been clinically diagnosed with depression in the past, I feel like it's in middle school, high school with crazy years a lot of emotions and things going on. 

But one of the things that I kind of realized, I had this moment like three years ago where I kind of like broke down just to be completely honest was I always really sought a lot of my self-worth from external sources, from what people thought of me, from what people – How they treated me from how people spoke to me. I had all these beliefs that if I didn't do X, Y, Z for every single person in my life, they weren’t going to love me and things would go away. 

It’s even after realizing that a lot of this happiness comes internally, I still have to make it stick, right? I’ll still find myself like going out of my way to do something because it's almost selfish because I want that validation that then makes me feel better. It’s not anything to do with who it is. In the same way like I'll go through seasons of life where I’ll sit down and meditate every day for like 30 minutes and I get like super Zen Buddhist monk and I'm listening to all this music. Then after that, I'll watch a YouTube video or read something and get really into like distance running for a while or like I bought a compound bow. I wanted to get into archery. I still never shot the thing. 

But how do we go about making things stick and what does the research that you did in developing Madefor show, because there are so many things even when it comes to our emotional and spiritual well-being or our physical well-being, mental well-being that we might start but we basically get a good week or two out of then. We might throw a little money at the self-help industry by buying some books and we’re basically the same person. How do we keep from that happening and actually make lasting change?

[00:26:55] BM: Sure. This definitely comes back to neuroscience. I would say like in terms of hobbies, I can't really speak from an educated place of like your situation with buying a compound bow and not shooting it. Hobbies is different than I would say habits and patterns. In terms of how do you make a new positive habit stick, I’ll use like hydration as example. One of our months with the basic, basic aspect of human well-being is how hydrated are you. What a lot of people don't realize is that even a 1 to 2% fall off on your optimum hydration level can be enough to affect your mood, your sleep, and your energy level. There is a very scientifically fine-tuned way to really look at hydration. We have a whole month that focuses on that, and a lot of it has to do with also like what climate you live in and how much you exercise, even what type of foods you eat. 

But I’ll use hydration as an example because before Madefor, I always thought I drink water and I would go through periods of time where I would drink a lot of water and in periods where I wouldn’t, and so it never stuck until Madefor. Part of it is and we’ve heard this many times before is you really got to focus on something for 30 days like with total commitment for it to become formed as a habit. There’s a lot of science behind that, and you can’t focus on more than one thing. You can't be trying to get, say, becoming the type of person that drinks this much amount of water every day and becoming someone who’s starting out a new fitness routine at the same time. I wish you could but that's not the way that the brain works if you want it to stick. 

The thing is with habits is by doing the same basic thing over and over and over again and, this is the most important part, having a reward mechanism, so we have a water bottle that has a built-in thing that keeps track of how much you’re drinking water. You move this bead every time you finish a bottle. You get a dopamine hit every time you move that bead because you’re like, “Oh, I'm accomplishing my goal, these micro goals throughout the day.” Then we ask you to write for two or three minutes in your journal. How did you feel? Did you have more energy than normal? Did you sleep better?

You got to do something consistently. You’ve got to see that there's a real reward in it, and that ultimately is how you form a habit. Now, the word habit is so important here because the thing is you ultimately don't ever want to have to be thinking about drinking water again. Why people don't necessarily stick to meditation is it feels like something that they’re doing. They got a scheduled time in their day, and it's like an activity is somewhat similar to maybe even shooting archery but probably a little bit easier to stick to. With things that we focus on in Madefor, these are habits that once you have ingrained them, you're probably not even going to be thinking about them. Just like you naturally brush your teeth, you’re going to naturally be a person that carries a water bottle everywhere with you because your brain knows that it feels better when you're drinking more water. 

That’s really how things stick versus become kind of these things that we try, and then ultimately fall away from. I do think you could have that happen with meditation if you are getting enough positive biofeedback and you did it at the same time every day, so it wasn't like a scheduling issue. That's one of the reasons why people don't have things like meditation stick because they just say, “Oh, I’m going to do it at some point today,” versus everything. You do it first thing in the morning. But that’s really the key to getting things to stick. 

[00:30:42] AF: Yeah. I love it and it’s such good actionable advice too, the idea of having that reward kind of built in. The example of the water bottle is just so easy to understand but it’s so true. I mean, just knowing you're going to be rewarded for accomplishing that goal or taking a step in the right direction really can help you solidify the action you need to take. I'm super curious too. I was trying to think of ways to kind of phrase this. I'm curious as to like if you could choose one habit to stick for the rest of your life, what would that be?

[00:31:14] BM: I mean, I’ve already used the water. The water one is so big and it sounds so simple. 

[00:31:17] AF: I love water, yeah. 

[00:31:18] BM: I’m not going to use that one. But honestly, I would probably say that’s the one because, I mean, 70% of our body is water. I mean, there's so much science now that says how so many people were actually chronically dehydrated and they never know it. It affects every single organ. It affects your mood. It affects your energy. But let's just give a second one then because I’ll say that's already a given now. I think the other one that has –

[00:31:43] AF: Well, here let me rephrase the question. I'll give you a little more rope here. I'm curious as to – You obviously take care of yourself, so how do you go about taking care of yourself mentally, and how do you go about taking care of yourself physically, and how has your sort of personal routines and goals and habits bled into the making of Madefor?

[00:32:04] BM: Sure, okay. I'll just say there's 10 months. There’s 10 practices. I’ll pick a mental one and a physical one beyond water that have had the biggest impact on me. The physical one is optimizing my sleep. I had read sleep books. I had listened to podcasts on sleep. But until I really got down to the science of the steps and the ways that you can really prepare for the perfect night’s sleep and then also as importantly how you wake up in a way that doesn't cause your cortisol levels to spike and to really reap the benefits of a good night’s sleep, that has had the biggest physical impact on me and definitely in terms of mood and everything. 

I mean, like when you wake up feeling refreshed, it is amazing. I mean, I love to drink coffee here and there but I used to like need a double espresso within 90 seconds of waking up. Now, I mean, I might have like a half caff or usually I’ll have some tea, but it's definitely not a need anymore. That is huge because not only do I feel better. But mentally, I'm like, “I don't need anything. I can go camping and forget my coffee and wake up and feel great and enjoy my morning.” There’s something really liberating about not having that need. Sleep was the thing physically. 

Then I would say mentally is I've always been someone who I would say feels grateful. I’ve always said – I thank people. I’ll write a handwritten note here and there. I feel like I've been really blessed in my life. I’m a grateful person. But it wasn't until we started really looking at some of the work from Martin Seligman about the power of gratitude practice. Think of gratitude practice as almost like a yoga practice or a meditation practice, and there's very specific things you can do both in thinking, writing, speaking that help you integrate gratitude into your brain in a way that’s just incredibly powerful. 

We have a whole month that focuses not just on the basics of like write three things you're grateful for today at the end of the night before you go to bed. There's nothing wrong with that, and that's a great start. But there are some really more specific things that we do that help you kind of rewire the way that you look at positive and negative events in your life. At some point through these practices, you can actually have a negative experience. Because of what you’ve done with this work, actually be grateful to it almost in the moment if not right after, because you know that in other times in your life when you had a negative experience, it ultimately had a silver lining that you couldn't see then but you could see 10 years later. 

It’s that type of detail that we get into with the Madefor program and that’s had a huge impact on me now. I mean, like literally I can – My girlfriend right now, for instance. She can literally have like this kind of emotional breakdown. If I stay calm and present, I can actually be grateful that that's happening because I know what that's doing is allowing her to open up and be more vulnerable to me and allowing me to prove my ability to stay strong and clear and with death and helping her working through something. I literally could never experience that in the past had I not learned these practices. 

[00:35:18] AF: I think it's so important. I mean, the two things you mentioned, they’re great. I mean, first of all, I'm a sleep nerd. I'm in bed usually most nights if I can by like 9:30 but I wake up at like 4:30. I mean, sleep is something I covet above all. I don't know if you're familiar with Dr. Matthew Walker, but he has some incredible research out there about sleep. He’d been on the show in the past. Great, great book. I would highly recommend his work. 

The thing – Gratitude too, it’s interesting. You talk about even being able to be grateful in the face of kind of “bad situation” because it gives you these opportunities. I think it’s an interesting example of how gratitude more so I think than a lot of skills is like a muscle. The more you practice gratitude, the more you’re going to see it. I remember there was a couple of years ago I had an internship in college. I had this mentor during that internship who just really took me under her wing. I mean, I was trying to get a – I love public speaking now. I used to hate it. It terrified me. My big project then was to present in front of like the VP of the company, and I was terrified. Day two of the internship, she had me put together some slides and go stand in Starbucks in the middle of like rush, busy time and put up these slides on a little projector and go through my presentation in front of everyone in line. They would listen. It was like terrifying. 

By the end of it, I love public speaking and I do to this day. The other day, it was actually about a year or two ago, I just called her up. I had her number in my phone, and I called her up and said, “Hey, Jamie. I just wanted to let you know this is Austin. You may not even remember me but I just wanted to let you know you made a huge impact on my life and really it's helped shape me into who I am today. Just thank you.” She broke down crying and was just like, “I don't know what's in the world but like I needed this today. My dad has been sick lately. I'm having problems at home.” It was just such a crazy thing and it was weird how I was like terrified even to do it but then it makes – Since then, I’ve always tried to express gratitude to at least one person like outwardly every single day, right? Just like strengthen them. 

Now, it’s not even weird. I felt like such a weirdo calling her, but now it's like I'm that kind of guy who’ll be like, “Hey, Blake. Just calling to let you know, man. I love you, dude, and you’re doing a great job.” Some people like really need to hear that. Some people are still going to tell you like –

[00:37:29] BM: Flex a muscle, right? 

[00:37:30] AF: Yeah. Like, “What are you smoking, Austin?”

[00:37:31] BM: You become uncomfortable the first time you did it. Just like when you go to the gym and squat and you haven’t squatted in two years. You’re going to be sore as hell, and it’s not going to be fun, and you’re going to like, “I don’t ever want to do that again.” Gratitude is the exact same way. I'm so glad you pointed that out. 

[00:37:46] AF: Yeah. It’s so important too. I mean, I think what you're doing with Madefor and what you’ve done in really throughout the majority of your career is very important because it's something that if you can lead this horse to the water and just keep them drinking, eventually they’re going to be fine and they’re going to be able to grab the reins of their own life. Eventually, I assume you after the 10 months you don't really need Madefor anymore as far as the products go. I mean, you’ve really kind of built these things into your life toward now you should be living optimally. 

[00:38:13] BM: Yeah, and I'm glad you brought that up because it's one of the things that I love is that I'm like most companies in the wellness space and I even hesitate to even say that's where we are. They want to continue selling stuff. They want to sell you stuff the rest of your life. I mean, they want to sell you another powder, another protein, another class to sign up, another retreat to go to. This once again goes to kind of the purity of how we built this. My business partner, Pat, is like, “It’s a 10-month program, and that’s it.” People are always like, “Well, what do you mean?” Business friends of mine are like, “Hold on. You have these people who are deeply committed to you, totally connected your brand, or having transformed their life experiences, and you’re not going to give them another 10 months?” I’m like, “No, because like these are the 10 things that work. This is what we do, and you graduate, and we hope that you’re experienced, and you carry it on, and you do well in the world.” But, yeah, I mean, this is not a subscription model. This is a 10-month program. I'm so glad you brought that up because I think that gets confused with a lot of the things that are out there. 

[00:39:14] AF: Yeah, absolutely. Blake, you’ve been very generous with your time. I'm going to ask just two more kind of quick questions and then I want to give the code out and then, of course, let people know where they can find you, learn more about Madefor. I’m kind of a nerd lately. I’ve always been very intrigued with time management, right? I’ve got a wife and a kid myself. Things are exploding right now in a number of fronts. We’re busier. At least I feel busier than I've ever been. But you’ve worn a ton a hats, right? Written a best-selling book, ran many massive companies, chipping social good on multiple media channels. You’ve gone on several, several media tours, so obviously a very busy individual. How do you go about planning your day to make sure you actually have time to accomplish the things that are going to keep you driving forward?

[00:39:55] BM: Yeah. It’s funny because I have a very high need for freedom in my life. If you do any of the psychological tests or Enneagram or whatever, like freedom is so key to me. But what frees me up the most is actually planning and scheduling everything. I plan when I'm going to hang out with my kids on my schedule, and it's there, and it's protected. I plan when I’m going to take time to go for a trail run. Some people that might not work for because they’re like, “I just want to like to be spontaneous [inaudible 00:40:26].” 

Now, I actually plan for spontaneity. Actually, the funny thing is I’ll plan like – My girlfriend and I are doing a trip in September. We’re just going to decide where we’re going to go. We’re just blocking off like, “We’re going somewhere and we’re going to decide a day before because we want to be spontaneous.” You can even actually plan for spontaneity. But in terms of time management, to me, the most important thing and this goes back to the question you asked at the very beginning about your why is you need to do the work to really understand your mission, your core values. Then ultimately, your core values should drive how you’re going to spend your time. If I put one of my core values, it’s family first. The role I play as being an incredible dad, well, then that needs to get factored in just as closely as I’m going to do three podcasts this week for Madefor because I want to continue to help push the mission and reach more people. 

For me, before you can really do good time management, you got to have real clarity about what your priorities and what your roles are in life, and how much time on a percentage level you want to give to those. Then after you have those percentages of that, then you can start laying out your weekly, monthly, quarterly calendar. I say just do it with incredible specificity. So then when you wake up in the morning, there’s no stress. You look at your calendar and that's what you're doing. If you don’t like it, then remember that next time you plan that. That’s the other thing is like it takes time to realize like, “Oh, that was a little too much kid time today. I really need some adult stimulation.” 

Or, gosh, me and partner, my wife, my girlfriend, or whatever, we just aren't feeling connected. Well, let’s go look at this schedule. This month, we literally only had one date night and we had one afternoon where we went for a hike. That's clearly not enough for us. So then you fine-tune it as you go, but that's a key thing for me with time management is just really plan and really schedule. 

[00:42:20] AF: Yeah, I love that. That’s a take I actually haven't heard in the past. Again, I’m going to dig into this whole figuring out my core values thing here later on tonight. You’ve given me a little bit of homework. I want to pass the baton to you and say what's the homework that you would give to anyone listening right now that they can act on this week, something that they can do to improve their lives in the next seven days?

[00:42:41] BM: Yeah, this is something with an easy answer because it’s something I committed to last September for the first time, and it has a huge impact, and that is commit to a morning routine. Now, your morning routine could be five minutes or it could be an hour. Mine is about 45 minutes now, but it is something that I am pretty religious about. Now, I would say with some self-compassion I probably do it five out of seven days a week but I try to do it all seven days. It’s just things happen. But having a morning routine I think is – Once again, we talked about building a momentum in your life. Building momentum in your day is so powerful. 

My morning routine is, once again, I wake up. I do not use a phone, so I have no distraction. I use an alarm clock, and that’s something we get into with Madefor. My alarm clock goes off. I get up. I do not look at my phone until my morning routine is done, so nothing can distract me from my morning routine. The only thing that distracts me is sometimes my kids wake up earlier than normal. Now, I’ve got that pretty dialed now. The earliest they’re waking up is 6:30. If I started 5:40, I can get my routine in. 

My routine is to do three cups of tea. I have this beautiful teakettle that I make some beautiful tea. I pour myself three cups simultaneously. I do it in silence and I really just allow the day to come to me, me to be open to the day. Then I usually do about 5 minutes to maximum 20 minutes of breath work or meditation, depending on what your practice is. For me, I’ve been doing a lot of breath work. I feel that’s as energizing as the meditation and also clears my head. Then if I have enough time, the kids haven’t gotten up, I try to write my journal for five minutes, maybe some gratitude stuff or what I'm working on that day or an idea that came to me. A lot of times, I get great ideas when I'm doing meditation and breath work I think because I’m so clear. Then I’m done. 

Then the kids get up. Maybe I then start checking email. I just get going. But having a morning routine has made a huge difference in my life, and that's something that we don't necessarily bake into the Madefor program. There's pieces of my morning routine that you learn through Madefor, but an actual morning routine is something that I think everyone can deeply benefit, and you can start tomorrow. 

[00:44:59] AF: I love it. Yeah, being a morning person myself, I definitely rely on my morning routine to keep me sane throughout the day for sure. Blake, thank you so much for all the time. This has been incredible. Where can people find you or learn more about Madefor, about your work in general, and interact with you?

[00:45:16] BM: Yes. The place to learn about Madefor or to sign up is that getmadefor.com, so G-E-T-M-A-D-E-F-O-R.com. Like you said, we have created a special code for your community. It’s MF SUCCESS. If you put in MF SUCCESS at check out, you’ll get 20% off the program. Where you can find me personally is on Instagram. That's pretty much the main outlet for social media and riffs and thinking I have on a daily basis.

[00:45:46] AF: Awesome. Yeah, we will definitely link that code on the show notes page as well. I love what Deborah did there with MF SUCCESS, Madefor Success. Pretty clever stuff there. Cool. Well, Blake, thank you so much for coming on the Science of Success. It’s been great talking to you and thank you for all the wisdom you shared today. 

[00:46:02] BM: Awesome. Have a great day, Austin. Thank you very much. 

[00:46:05] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created the show to help you, our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an email. My email is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I'd love to hear from you, and I read and respond to every single listener email. I'm going to give you three reasons why you should sign up for our email list today by going to successpodcast.com and signing up right on the homepage. There are some incredible stuff that’s only available to those on the email list, so be sure to sign up, including an exclusive curated weekly email from us called Mindset Monday, which is short, simple, filled with articles, stories, things that we found interesting and fascinating in the world of evidence-based growth in the last week.

Next, you’re getting an exclusive chance to shape the show, including voting on guests, submitting your own personal questions that we’ll ask guests on air, and much more. Lastly, you’re going to get a free guide we created based on listener demand. Our most popular guide, which is called How To Organize and Remember Everything, you can get it completely for free along with another surprise bonus guide by signing up and joining the email list today. Again, you can do that at successpodcast.com. Sign up right at the homepage. Or if you’re on the go, just text the word smarter, S-M-A-R-T-E-R, to the number 44222. 

Remember, the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to a friend, either live or online. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us an awesome review and subscribe on iTunes, because that helps boost the algorithm that helps us move up the iTunes rankings and helps more people discover the Science of Success. Don't forget, if you want to get all the incredible information we talk about on the show, links, transcripts, everything we discussed and much more, be sure to check out our show notes. You can get those at successpodcast.com just at the show notes button right at the top. Thanks again and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

July 28, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Influence & Communication
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How to Think Like A Rocket Scientist with Ozan Varol

July 23, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Decision Making

In this episode, we dig deep into the science of decision making and thinking with best-selling author Ozan Varol. Ozan and I discuss how to pivot, dig into his incredible story and life journey, and how we can question our assumptions and challenge our own opinions!

Ozan Varol is a rocket scientist, award-winning law professor, and author. While at Cornell University, he served on the operations team for the 2003 Mars Exploration Rovers project that sent two rovers to Mars. He later became a law professor to influence others to make interplanetary leaps on this planet. He has written numerous award-winning articles that are taught in colleges and graduate schools. His work has been featured in domestic and foreign media, including BBC, TIME, CNN, Washington Post, Slate, and Foreign Policy. He is the author Think Like a Rocket Scientist: Simple Strategies You Can Use to Make Giant Leaps in Work and Life.

  • What it’s like being on a team that sent a rover to Mars. 

  • How to think like a rocket scientist by thinking big, flirting with uncertainty, and facing failure head-on. 

  • How to solve a problem when, in the past, there’s been no solution. 

  • Lessons from some of the world’s top innovators. 

  • How to begin to question your assumptions. 

    • Spend an entire day questioning all the assumptions you make that day. 

  • What is a pre-mortem - and why it helps keep you out of trouble and avoiding failure? 

  • How to leverage outsiders to make sure you’re not missing any gaps in your own decision-making process. 

  • How to fight groupthink. 

  • Kill Your Intellectual Darlings - Beat the sh*t out of your own ideas. 

  • Why the Growth Mindset is 100% science. 

  • The two questions you must absolutely ask to fight your inner critic in any situation. 

  • How to make a decisive and beneficial pivot in your own life.

  • What are the first principals and how do we leverage them in our own lives?

  • How Elon Musk created SpaceX and built his own rockets. 

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Thank you so much for listening!

Please SUBSCRIBE and LEAVE US A REVIEW on iTunes! (Click here for instructions on how to do that).

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Ozan’s Website and Wiki Page

  • Ozan’s Newsletter - The Contrarian

  • Ozan’s LinkedIn

Media

  • Article Directory on Medium, HuffPost, The Ladders, and  Heleo

  • Google Scholar Citations - Ozan Varol

  • Muck Rack - Ozan Varol

  • [Faculty Profile] Lewis & Clark Law School - Ozan Varol

  • Gretchen Rubin - “Ozan Varol: “A Moratorium on Failure Is a Moratorium on Progress.””

  • WorkHuman - “Can Rocket Science Prevent Herd Thinking?” by Sarah Payne

  • Quartz - “I’m a law professor, and I teach my students how to destroy American democracy” By Ozan Varol

  • Nir & Far - “Why You Don’t Have to Be a Rocket Scientist to Think Like One” by Nir Eyal

  • [Podcast] The Accidental Creative - Think Like A Rocket Scientist (with Ozan Varol)

  • [Podcast] How to Be Awesome at Your Job - 563: Accelerating Your Career by Thinking Like a Rocket Scientist with Ozan Varol

  • [Podcast] The Jordan Harbinger Show - 338: Ozan Varol | How to Think Like a Rocket Scientist

Videos

  • Khe Hy - How to Think Like a Rocket Scientist with Ozan Varol

  • Today In Space - Ozan Varol, author of 'Think like a Rocket Scientist' | People of Science TIS#195

  • The Unmistakable Creative Podcast - Ozan Varol: Think Like a Rocket Scientist

  • BigSpeak Speakers Bureau - Ozan Varol - Sample Keynote

  • David Meltzer TV - Ozan Varol: You Don’t Have To Be a Rocket Scientist To Think Like One | The Playbook

  • Leverage - Ozan Varol on How Lawyers Can Be Most Effective - Episode #286

Books

  • Think Like a Rocket Scientist: Simple Strategies You Can Use to Make Giant Leaps in Work and Life  by Ozan Varol

  • The Democratic Coup d'État  by Ozan O. Varol

  • Audiobook Directory - Ozan Varol

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Science of Success. Introducing your host, Matt Bodnar.

[00:00:10] AF: Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Science of Success; the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with over five million downloads and listeners in over 100 countries. Thank you for listening. My name is Austin Fabel.

Today, we have an incredible interview with a man named Ozan Varol. Ozan is a rocket scientist, award-winning law professor and author. While at Cornell University, he served on the operations team for the 2003 Mars Exploration Rovers Project that sent not one, but two rovers to Mars. In this interview, we dig deep into the science of decision-making and thinking. We really dig into his incredible story and his journey. I cannot wait to share this interview with you.

Then we dig into how we can question our assumptions and challenge our own opinions and ultimately, think like a rocket scientist.

Are you a fan of the show? Head over to www.successpodcast.com and sign up for our e-mail list today. You're going to get a ton of free goodies, including a guide as soon as you sign up, you'll get our newsletter called Mindset Monday, as well as immediate access to all of our interviews when they go live.

Are you on the go right now? Not a problem. Just text Smarter, that's S-M-A-R-T-E-R to 44-222 to get subscribed today.

Without further ado, enjoy our interview with Ozan Varol.

[00:01:34] AF: Ozan, welcome to the Science of Success.

[00:01:36] OV: Thank you so much for having me on, Austin.

[00:01:38] AF: Well, it's great to have you on. I really appreciate you taking the time and digging through your work, I’ve got to say it's an honor to have you on. You've got a very, very interesting background and I’d love to start there. For listeners who may not know you or be familiar with your work, share your story with us. Tell us a little about your journey and some of the past projects you've worked on, then of course, we'll dig into what you're working on now as well. Very excited about that.

[00:01:58] OV: Sounds good. I was born and raised in Istanbul, Turkey. I lived there for 17 years. Grew up in a family of no English speakers. Started to learn English, I think it probably would have been around 11. Then came to the United States for college. I majored in astrophysics at Cornell. While there, I worked on the operations team for the Mars Exploration Rovers Project.

My interest in astrophysics really began when I was, I think this would have been around five or six-years-old in the apartment that I grew up in Istanbul. We get these really frequent blackouts, which would scare the crap out of me as a five-year-old and my dad came up with this game. He would grab my soccer ball, light up a candle and he'd rotate the soccer ball around the candle and the candle would be representing the sun and the soccer ball the earth. Those were my very, very first astronomy lessons and I was hooked.

After that, I became obsessed with astronomy, getting my hands on every astronomy book, every science fiction book I could find. My dream was to eventually come to the United States to work on a space mission of some sort.

Before I arrived, I think this was a couple weeks before I got to Cornell, I was looking at what the astronomy department was up to and I saw that one of the professors, his name is Steve Squires, was in charge of this planned mission to Mars. There was no job listing, but I just decided, “Hey, I’m just going to reach out to him and ask if I can work for him.” I taught myself how to program in high school. I just e-mailed him, attached my resume and said, “I would just die to work for you.”

The moment I arrived at Cornell, he invited me in for an interview and I got the job and the rest is history. I got to work on this amazing mission that went to Mars in 2003. We had built these rovers to last for 90 days each. We sent two. Their names were Spirit and Opportunity. Spirit ended up lasting for six years and I still get chills when I say this, but Opportunity rove the red planet for nearly 15 years. This is 15 years into its 90-day mission. It was such an honor to work on that project. That eventually culminated in the book that I wrote that recently came out called Think Like a Rocket Scientist.

[00:04:26] AF: Such an incredible background. I love everything from just the imagery of your dad instilling this curiosity and using a soccer ball and a candle. Then also, one of the biggest questions we get about the show is how do you get these people to come on the show? We've interviewed a lot of folks. The answer really is just we've reached out. A lot of people don't really know what they can get if they just ask. I think that you reaching out cold, there's no job description, but you saw something that you wanted to be a part of, and reaching out and taking the initiative to not just look at the website and say, “Oh, there's no job postings. They must not be looking for anybody.” Really taking the bull by the horns, to use the metaphor, and really making reality out of your dreams.

[00:05:07] OV: That's such an important point. I do remember writing that e-mail. Before I hit send, the voice of the inner critic showed up and basically said, “What are you doing? You're going to make a fool out of yourself. There is no job listing. You're not qualified. You're a skinny kid with a funny name from a country halfway around the world, who has a really thick accent at the time, which eventually disappeared. What could you possibly contribute to this?”

Then I asked myself two questions, which are still two questions that I ask myself to this day whenever I’m afraid of making a leap. The first question is, what's the worst that can happen? Now the worst that can happen in a scenario like that is I just never hear back from him, right? He just ignores my e-mail saying like, “Okay. This guy is a fool. He has nothing to contribute, so I’m not going to invite him in.” That is the worst that can happen.

Then the second question I ask, which often we don't ask is what's the best that can happen? What is the most optimal outcome out of the scenario? It's really important to ask that question, because our mind is, I’m quoting Rick Hansen here, but it's velcro for negative thoughts and teflon for positive ones. When we think of worst-case scenarios, those tend to get exacerbated in our heads. It's really important to ask a second question of like, “Well, what's the best that can happen?” In my case, the answer to that was I got to work on a Mars mission. I get to do this thing that I’ve dreamed of doing since I was five-years-old. I asked myself those questions and when the answers are in front of you, the course of action is so clear. I clicked send and I’m so glad I did.

[00:06:53] AF: Yeah, that's incredible story. I think it's so relatable for a lot of people. It's funny that you quote Rick Hansen. We actually, Matt, our other host was actually slated to interview him right now on another line –

[00:07:04] OV: That’s awesome.

[00:07:05] AF: He just rescheduled last minute and we're going to get Rick on. He's been on the show a couple of times, but what a funny circumstance. I think it's awesome too. I mean, when you look go through the worst that can happen and you say, “Well, the worst that’s going to happen is he doesn't respond.” I think, even in my head sometimes like, “Well, the worst could happen would be he'd forward the e-mail to all of his colleagues and there's a Washington Post article written about how we shouldn't call into Cornell for random jobs.” I can go a little deeper.

One thing also that I’ve heard from numerous guests about fear setting too is when you think about that worse that can happen, going a level deeper even, if that worst thing did happen, how hard would it be for you to get back to your current state? For you, it's like, you're already there. I mean, you're already in that current state, so there's really no stakes, at least not in the way that you might imagine them from that inner critic.

[00:07:49] OV: Yup, exactly.

[00:07:50] AF: I want to dig into the new book. It's a great book. I recommend picking up a copy for anybody listening. It's called Think Like a Rocket Scientist. Simple Strategies You Can Use to Make Giant Leaps in Work and Life. Give us a little bit of the premise and I want to dive into some of the meat as well. Why did you decide to write this book?

[00:08:05] OV: I opened the book by telling the story of John F. Kennedy back in September 1962, when he steps up to the podium at Rice University Stadium and pledges to put a man on the moon and return him safely to the earth. Now at the time when he made that promise, people thought he was crazy. People sitting in the audience thought he was crazy, but officials at NASA thought he was out of his mind as well.

What he was promising was literally a moon shot, because so many of the prerequisite required for a moon landing hadn't been developed yet. No American astronaut had worked outside of a spacecraft. Two spacecraft had never docked together in space. We knew so little about the moon, NASA didn't know if the lunar surface would be solid enough to support a lander, or if the lander, if it like, you landed on there, it would just cave right through.

Some of the metals, Kennedy said, required to build the rockets, hadn't even been invented yet. We jumped into the cosmic void and hoped we'd grow wings on the way up. Grow those wings we did. A child who was just six-years-old when the Wright Brothers took their first power flight, which lasted all of 10 seconds and moved a 100 feet would have been 72 when flight became powerful enough to put a man on the moon and return him safely to the earth.

We looked at that giant leap and say, well, that's the triumph of technology, but I think that's a misleading story. It's really the triumph of the humans behind the technology and a certain thought process they used to turn the seemingly impossible into the possible. I wanted to write a book dedicated to that thought process. The premise of the book is look, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to think like one. You can take these nine simple strategies from rocket science and use them to make your own giant leaps in work and life, whether it's landing your dream job, developing a new skill, or creating the next breakthrough product.

Rocket science tends to be really intimidating, right? Hence the saying, it's rocket science, or it's not rocket science. I wanted to write a book not about the science behind rocket science, but about these strategies that rocket scientists use to approach problems, to deal with uncertainty, to deal with failure, to deal with success and how they use them to their own benefit.

[00:10:29] AF: I love the premise for the book. I think it's something that's definitely needed in the world now. It's not a topic that we are unaccustomed to here on the show. I mean, building mental models and teaching yourself how to think, to take your life to the next level is a huge focus, so I think the book really aligns with everything that we believe in and we try to bring to our audience.

It's such an interesting thought too that the things that these rocket scientists are trying to solve have never been solved before. You're really in a lot of ways, it's exciting because there's a blank slate. There's no traditional thinking to rely on that gives you guard rails that you might fall into. On the other hand, it can be very intimidating because you have no playbook. Again, I mean, the other side of the coin is you're – really, nothing's off the table, but nothing's been put on the table to begin with.

[00:11:13] OV: Absolutely. It can be really intimidating. I remember working on this Mars mission and we picked two landing sites for the two different rovers. We had some idea of what to expect from these landing sites, because we could look at the photos of the landing sites from orbit, but once we actually landed, they turned out to be so different from what we expected.

What we did was to learn the problems that Mars gave us, or try to solve the problems that Mars gave us, as opposed to the problems that we expected to solve. One of the ways we did that is use the Swiss Army Knife approach. We had so many different tools onboard the rover that could be adapted to different uses.

Now I mentioned this example, because it's particularly relevant to what's going on in the world right now. We're recording this episode around mid-May when the pandemic, the COVID-19 pandemic is going on full force. If you're in a position where the pandemic has disrupted the way you run your life, or the way you run your business, the question that we asked ourselves when we landed on Mars is also a useful question for you to ask yourself.

Instead of asking, okay, here are the problems that I expected to solve, but those problems are now off the table. How can I solve the problems that the universe threw at me? How can I use my skills, resources, products, services in a way that I haven't used them before, but that I need to use given the problems that the world needs solving at this particular point in time?

[00:12:50] AF: Yeah. It's such a great question to ask. I think when you even look – I mean, everyone's gotten an e-mail about a COVID-19 response at this point from everybody and their grandmother. I think a lot of the companies that have really thrived right now have done just that. I mean, I was reading an article today about a restaurant owner whose restaurant is Michelin stars. It's basically considered art, very much an experience, but they've actually maintained their entire staff and they've actually increased profits, because they were able to pivot so quickly and change what they were offering their customers and even their employees to make it all we're in this together.

For instance, they got rid of employee salaries. Everyone made $15 an hour. Anything above what they needed to cover cost was split among the staff. It's like, how do you take these things you've got and pivot what the goals were when everything was running the way that they should be, and then realign the incentives and what you're doing to match the goals of the current environment?

That brings us back to the nine essential principles in the book. I’d like to just list them out right now to give all the listeners a framework. You have become a connoisseur of uncertainty, reason from first principles, play mind games, reach for the moon, reframe questions, kill your intellectual darlings, which I’m going to dig into that for sure, test as you fly, fly as you test, do not fail fast and be wary of unbroken success. Now as we begin to peel these layers back, one that jumps out at me is just critically important is reason from first principles. Explain what that means to us.

[00:14:21] OV: Let me answer that with a story. The story is of Elon Musk starting SpaceX. When he first thought about sending rockets to Mars, what he first did was to shop on the American market first and then go to the Russian market as well, to purchase rockets that other people had built. That turned out to be really, really expensive. At the time, Elon Musk was a rich guy. He had just sold PayPal to eBay. Even given his budgets, the rockets were way too expensive.

He was about to give up actually, but then he realized that his reasoning was flawed in trying to buy rockets that other people had built. He realized that he was not reasoning from first principles. Reasoning from first principles means, basically taking a complex system and boiling it down to its non-negotiable sub-components. You're hacking through assumptions in your life as if you're hacking through a jungle with a machete to get to the fundamental raw materials.

For Elon Musk, reason informed first principles meant okay, set aside rockets that other people built. What does it take to actually build a rocket and put a rocket into space? He looked at the raw materials of a rocket. It turned out that if you tried to buy those raw materials on the market, it would be 2% of the typical cost of a rocket.

For him, it was a no-brainer. Using first principles he said, “All right. Well, I’m just going to build my rockets from scratch myself in the factory, as opposed to building rockets that other people had built.” First principles also led him to question another deeply held assumption in rocket science, which is that rockets for decades couldn't be reused. Once they launched their cargo into orbit, they would plunge into the ocean, or burn up in the atmosphere requiring an entirely new rocket to be built.

Now imagine for a moment doing that for commercial flights. I live in Portland, Oregon. I fly from Portland to Los Angeles, the passengers de-plane and then someone steps up to the plane and just torches it. That's basically what we did for rockets. By the way, the cost of a modern rocket is about the same thing as a Boeing 737, more or less. Commercial flight is so much cheaper, because airplanes can be reused quickly over and over and over again.

Elon Musk along with Jeff Bezos and his space company below origin, both questioned that deeply held assumption in rocket science that rockets couldn't be reused. Now at Cape Canaveral, there is a landing pad next to a launch pad for the rocket to land. I mean, there's still a ways to go, but both companies have refurbished and reused and sent numerous rocket stages back into space like certified pre-owned vehicles basically. That's all thanks to first principles thinking.

[00:17:30] AF: This episode of the Science of Success is brought to you by our partners at the Business Casual Podcast. Business Casual is a new podcast by Morning Brew that makes business news enjoyable, relatable and dare I say, even fun. Host, Kinsey Grant, interviews the biggest names in business, covering topics like how technology is changing, the fitness industry, to the economics of influencer marketing.

It's the business podcast that makes you smarter and makes you laugh, gets that mixture of entertainment, but also information. Listen to Business Casual wherever you get your podcast today.

[00:18:09] AF: Such an incredible story and it's really inspiring to think what other assumptions are we all making in our lives that we really haven't questioned, but might actually yield incredible results or breakthroughs. Part of that too is I know you've touched on the past how you can reverse engineer your own processes to find these holes in your thinking. How do we go about that? Say, I’ve always gone along Elon Musk, like I look around and I say, “Well, things have always been done this way.” How do I start to ask the right questions of myself and my thinking to find these breakthroughs?

[00:18:39] OV: There are a number of things you can do. One is to actually spend a day questioning your assumptions. Look at your routines, your habits, your budget items, your processes and ask yourself, “Why am I doing it this way? Can I get rid of this, or replace it with something better?” One example of that question for my own life is – so my book came out on April 14th and I had this big book tour plan that was going to travel all around the United States and give talks. With the pandemic, the book tour got cancelled.

I had to step back and ask myself and reason from first principles, think like a rocket scientist and ask myself, “All right. Can't do a book tour anymore. What can I do instead to get the word out about the book?” That actually forced me to question, whether it was a good idea to do a book tour in the first place? If I’m being honest with myself, I was doing a book tour not because I had reason from first principles, but because that's what I thought authors are supposed to do. You write a book, you go on a book tour. I was copying and pasting what other authors that I admire had done before me.

If you step back and ask yourself, is it really a good use of my time for me to fly to New York City from Portland across the country, go to a Barnes & Noble and sign books for 50 people? Or are there better ways for me to engage with my readers and get the word out that don't require a multi-day, multi-week commitment for me? The answer to that is absolutely yes.

I was able to come up with creative ways of getting the word out virtually after the pandemic forced me to question the status quo in my life. I think it's better to do this proactively as opposed to defensively by asking yourself, why am I doing what I’m doing? Can I get rid of this and replace it with something better?

Another tactic that I use is to bring outsiders into the conversation. Experts tend to be way too close to the problem to think differently. Don't get me wrong, expertise is really valuable. If you're trying to achieve something transformative, you usually need input from outsiders to whatever it is you're working on. This doesn't have to mean an expensive coach or a consultant. It can simply mean bringing in a friend, your significant other, or someone from a different division in your company to come in and ask yourself those like, what we pejoratively call dumb questions, but they're actually not dumb at all.

They go to some fundamental aspect of the problem that you're missing, because you are way too close to it to be able to spot the same outdated assumptions that you've been operating under for decades, for years. That's why, by the way, when you look at some of these gate crashers, like I mentioned two names, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos for the aerospace industry, they're outsiders. Elon Musk came from Silicon Valley. He learned about rocket science by reading rocket science textbooks. Jeff Bezos came from Amazon and they're both disrupting the aerospace industry.

Another example I give in the book is Reed Hastings and how he co-founded Netflix. He was an outsider to the video industry. He was a software developer before he co-founded Netflix, but he was able to spot the outdated assumptions in the video industry, the video rental industry. Meaning, you have to pay late fees, you have to have physical stores and question those assumptions to build a transformative product.

[00:22:16] AF: So powerful. I love all the examples there. The book tour example is very interesting to me too, because you go through all the just leg work that requires to reach 50 people. Then really, I mean, we find ourselves sitting here. I’m in my office, you're in yours. I’m in Nashville. You're in Oregon. We're going to reach probably more people than you would inside of a Barnes & Noble. It's the most impactful way forward is not always what's been done in the past and I just love the lesson.

[00:22:43] OV: Exactly.

[00:22:44] AF: There's another thing too and this must be a space thing, because you've spoken about something else which is brainstorming – before you make a decision, brainstorming all the reasons your idea might fail and how that can help ensure long-term success. We had a previous guest on, Commander Chris Hadfield. He said something extremely similar. He was just like, “Well, before we launch a mission up to the international space station, we go through everything that could possibly go wrong.” Then for him, he actually had a malfunction in his suit, caused some glass cleaner to go into his eye and he's basically on a spacewalk floating in outer space completely blind. He attributed his ability to stay calm and to get back in to that planning.

When you look through all the different negative possibilities, how do you go through all the ways the idea might fail? Then ultimately, what benefit does that give you when you're making your decisions?

[00:23:35] OV: There are two exercises that I like to use. One is called the pre-mortem, which is very similar to what Chris Hadfield described on the show. Basically, what you do is you assume that the project failed, so the mission was a failure. You work backward from that to figure out the reasons why it may have failed. Going back to my book, I might say okay, I have to turn in this book by April 2019, I think was my deadline, or May 2019 to the publisher. I’ll assume that that failed and I’ll work backward from that to try to figure out why it may have failed.

It may have failed because I spent too much time on the research and too little time on the writing. It may have failed, because I didn't hire the right people. By identifying everything that can go wrong beforehand and then planning ahead for those worst case scenarios is really, really powerful. For those who are listening, you can apply this in your own life by saying, “All right. Why might my boss pass me up for a promotion? Why is this prospective employer justified in not hiring me?”

In answering those questions, avoid answering them as you would that dreadful interview question, tell me about your weaknesses, which tends to induce humble bragging. People say things like, “I work too hard.”

[00:24:56] AF: I’ve been there before, maybe once or twice.

[00:24:58] OV: Yeah. Right, exactly. Instead, really get into the shoes of the person who might reject your promotion, or refuse to hire you and ask yourself why might that happen. Why are they making that choice? Those questions usually tend to pinpoint you to things that are lying in your blind spots that you'll be able to figure out by going through the motions here. You can do this at your company as well if you run a business. Doing this exercise gives your staff members some safety to come forward.

One of the things that derails success is group think. People don't want to be the skunk at the picnic. They're reluctant to raise their hands and voice dissent, because they fear retribution of some sort from their supervisors, or from their team members. When you say, “All right. We're going to conduct this exercise, where we assume that whatever we're working on failed,” then that gives people basically safety in coming forward and saying, “All right. There's actually this weakness with this project that's been bugging me. I haven't shared it until now, but I’m going to share it right now, because this is part of this exercise that we are conducting.” It can be a really, really powerful way of unearthing potential problems before you pull the trigger.

[00:26:20] AF: Yeah, I love that. I think it's so important too, it's a neat way to make an exercise out of allowing people to poke holes they may not feel comfortable bringing forward. I think everybody's been in that scenario before, where your mind is screaming like, “This isn't going to work. This isn't going to work.” But you don't want to be like you said, the skunk at the picnic. I’m going to have to use that in the future.

Let's dig back into some of the nine essential principles. Kill your intellectual darlings. I love the aggression in that advice. Tell us what it means.

[00:26:52] OV: That principle is so central to the way that scientists work. The scientific method basically requires you to come up with hypotheses to explain some phenomenon. Then what you do from there is to kill your intellectual darlings. You beat the crap out of your own ideas. That's the only way that scientists can begin to develop some confidence in their hypotheses. That I think is such a stark contrast to the way that we normally operate outside of the scientific world. We try to prove ourselves right, as opposed to prove ourselves wrong. This is particularly prevalent in politics. People don't change their minds.

When they do, they're usually accused of flip-flopping, or being the person who's not suited for political office. Whereas for scientists, changing your mind is the name of the game. That's what scientists do. If you discover facts that call into question an assumption you have, a hypothesis you had, you welcome that, because the goal in science is to not be right, but to find what's right.

I think that goal is really important outside of science as well. That's how you develop confidence in your own ideas. You don't learn anything by trying to prove yourself right, which by the way with biases like the confirmation bias, for example, we look for evidence and facts that confirm what we think we know. When you Google a search result, or when you Google a question, you probably have some idea as to what to expect and when those answers come up, you're going to click on the first link that confirms your preconceptions about that.

That means you're not learning anything new. To be able to learn something new and grow, you should look for evidence that this confirms, that falsifies what you think is true, as opposed to the other way around. This is becoming increasingly harder, because we've been algorithmically sorted into these echo chambers. We friend people like us on Facebook. We follow people like us on Twitter. When we see dissenting opinions, it's so easy to disengage from them. Just unfriend, unfollow, unsubscribe.

That means we're also not being exposed to ideas that are different from our own. When this creates all sorts of problems, it becomes really hard to then engage with people who are on the other side of the spectrum, but it also means that your own ideas aren't being stress tested as much as they should be, nearly as much as they should be, which means you've got blind spots that you're not seeing.

[00:29:37] AF: Yeah, many great points there. I think it's also the algorithm thing has always really, really intrigued me. I guess, it was about two years ago at Thanksgiving. I was sitting around with some family members and I just realized, Facebook has ruined Thanksgiving and family holidays. Because on one side, you've got the members who – I mean, I don't want to get political here, but Republican and Democrat, the two main sides. Then you've got people at the table. In my family, we've got both sides represented.

Everyone speaks as though it's a foregone conclusion that everyone else at the table has their opinion, because that's all they see on Facebook. It's like, “Man, everyone must be seeing these articles.” It really, at least in my personal scenario, it really unhinged a bunch of people's tongues, especially after a couple glasses of wine that they exacerbated the situation.

Looping back to the whole idea of killing your intellectual darling, something you said really rang true to me and that is they want to change their opinions. They want to find what's right. It reminds me of Carol Dweck and a lot of her work on mindsets and specifically, the growth mindset. As a scientist, you shouldn't be concerned of looking right and looking like the hero and the genius and all the credits.

What the focus really is is finding what's true. Then adopting that into what you do and move forward and how we build out the world that we live in technologically and scientifically. It's not about credit and it's not about being afraid to flip-flop and change your opinion, because of new information, which really strikes me as something that I think everyone, especially in today's world of sound bites and social media could really, really stand to learn from. It's not about winning the argument, it's about learning more.

[00:31:20] OV: Exactly. When it becomes about winning the argument, we lose so much in the process. I mean, one of the side effects of this is – of the dynamic you described at Thanksgiving table is our beliefs start to become intertwined with our identities. If you believe in primal eating, you become paleo. If you believe in a plant-based diet, you become a vegan. If you do CrossFit, you're a CrossFitter. When your beliefs are intertwined with your identity, it means changing your mind is tantamount to changing your identity, which is really, really difficult for people to do, which is why by the way, simple disagreements in the modern world turn into these just existential death matches, because so much more than our beliefs and our arguments are at stake, it is our identity that's at stake.

One way to overcome that barrier is to again, try to kill your intellectual darlings and put some separation between your identity as a person and your beliefs. Scientists do that all the time. Scientists are not their opinions. They are not their hypotheses. The moment, by the way, they wrap up their identity around the hypothesis is when they start fooling themselves. As Richard Feynman says, the first principle is you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool. It really pays off to put some separation between you as a person, your arguments and your beliefs and then seek this confirming evidence.

One of the examples I’ve done that with writing the book is when I finish the draft, I have this support network of friends and colleagues and mentors and I went to them to get feedback on the book. The first question I asked them was, what is wrong with the book? Tell me what needs to be cut. Tell me what needs to be taken out of the book. Tell me what parts of the book don't make sense, because I need to hear them from you now, not a year from now when the book is published.

That questioning, inviting dissent and inviting this agreement going back to safety and what we talked about before with the pre-mortem, gives people the freedom if they're otherwise reluctant to share criticism with you, if they're more prone to praising your work, that question, that affirmative stance on your part of asking tell me what's wrong with this, will give them safety to come forward and actually share the crucial critical feedback you need to make your work much better than it was before.

[00:33:58] AF: Yeah. That's such a great best practice. I feel like I’ve heard that before. I think Tim Ferriss does something similar to that. He's accredited that to being one of the best tools for writing a book and making sure that it hits on the first time out.

One of the other principles that you touched on, I want to be respectful of your time and I will begin to wrap up here in a minute with a couple of rapid fire questions. One of the essential principles is play mind games. As a big fan of games in general, strategy games, video games, board games, card games, what are you talking about here?

[00:34:30] OV: I’m referring specifically to conducting thought experiments. The example that opens that chapter is a 16-year-old Albert Einstein sitting and asking himself, what would it be like to ride next to a beam of light? That question, by the way, sounds nonsensical. He sat with that question for 10 years and the answer he came up with resulted in the special theory of relativity.

We are so reluctant to pose those thought experiments to play mind games, to set up the sorts of scenarios we set up in our heads, like fantasy worlds we set up in our heads when we were little kids. That I think on the research shows, undermines creativity. When we don't pause and think and deliberate and carve off time and space in our lives for free thinking, our creativity suffers as a result.

There is a section in the play mind games chapter called why you should get bored more often. Boredom to me, a few years ago, I remember distinctly, I was getting out of bed, I reached over to my phone to get my daily dose of notifications. It I had an epiphany. I realized that I hadn't been bored in such a long time. Because I was moving from one meeting to the next, one notification to the next and I wasn't carving off time for boredom, which I would define as spending large amounts of unstructured time free of distractions.

When you don't do that, your subconscious doesn't have the ability, doesn't have the space it needs to connect different ideas in your head, to cross-pollinate what you're working on, to solve problems. The decline of boredom in my own life and research I cite in the book bears this out, corresponded with also a decline in my creativity.

One of the things I did was to become really purposeful about carving off these spaces and time in my life to think. I have a recliner in my office and I’ll sit there for 20 minutes just with every day, just with a notepad and a pen. Some of the best ideas that have occurred to me in recent memory have come up during those moments of silence. This is really hard to innovate. It's really hard to be creative when you're busy trying to get to inbox zero. That's not when innovation happens.

Hustle and innovation are antithetical to each other. As the saying goes, it’s the silence between the notes that makes the music. There are so many examples that I cite in the book that are cited elsewhere and discussed elsewhere as well, one of the ideas and I’m sure, those who are listening to this, know ideas tend to come in the shower, ideas tend to come when you're walking, ideas tend to come when you're cooking, when you're letting your brain rest and make the type of connections that it needs to make, to be able to generate breakthrough ideas.

In today's day and age, we need to be really purposeful about doing that. I would highly recommend that people carve off time. You might call it airplane mode, for you to just sit and do nothing, but think.

[00:37:51] AF: Yeah. It's such a powerful tool and so often overlooked. Like you said, I mean, I think everyone's had that aha moment while sitting in the shower, or standing in the shower, rather hopefully. Well, great Ozan. This has been incredible. I really appreciate the time. You've been very generous with us.

I want to close with just one last question and then I want to let listeners know where they can find you. Obviously, thinking like a rocket scientist, great framework for anybody listening to the show now. Who do you think is the greatest thinker of our time?

[00:38:22] OV: That's a great question. There are so many role models in my life, but the first name that jumped to mind when you asked that question, Austin, was Adam Grant. Adam's work – I mean, he is such a brilliant thinker, but he does what a lot of academics don't do, which is to take these seemingly esoteric and hard to translate academic concepts and share them with popular audiences in a way that anyone can understand.

If you read his books, like Give and Take and Originals, the final product looks so easy and so simple and so adjustable from the perspective of a popular audience, but it conceals a really, really difficult messy work of looking at esoteric academic research and actually simplifying it. That I think is a really, really hard thing to do and Adam does it brilliantly.

[00:39:25] AF: Yeah. We love Adam. We've actually been fortunate enough to have him on the show as well and he's just incredible individual to be, as young as he is and who’ve accomplished what he's accomplished.

Ozan, thank you so much for the time. Please let us know where we can find more. Where can we buy the book? Where can we learn more about you and your work? Where would you direct us?

[00:39:43] OV: The best way to keep in touch with me is through my e-mail list. I’m not active on social media. If you'd like to sign up for my e-mail list, you can go to weeklycontrarian.com and the e-mail goes out to over 21,000 people every Thursday. It just shares one idea that can be read in three minutes or less, that helps you, empowers you to reimagine the status quo. That's at weeklycontrarian.com.

Then my book, Think Like a Rocket Scientist, it's available wherever books are sold. I do have a special offer for your audience, Austin. If they head over to rocketsciencebook.com/success, I have a series of, I think it's 12 bite-sized, really quick-it three-minute videos that share practical actionable insights from the book that people can implement right away. You can find all of those videos at rocketsciencebook.com/success. You'll see instructions on there once you order the book and forward it to a specific e-mail address. I’ll share those videos with you.

[00:40:52] AF: You are too kind. Well, thank you so much for your time today. It's been a fascinating conversation. I would highly recommend anyone listening to go check out the book. Again, it's Think Like a Rocket Scientist. Simple Strategies You Can Use to Make Giant Leaps in Work and Life. Ozan, thanks so much for the time today and best of luck in the future.

[00:41:09] OV: Thank you so much, Austin. It was my pleasure.

[00:41:11] AF: Thank you, everyone, again for listening. We're glad you spent some time with us here on the Science of Success. As a reminder, if you haven't already, head to our website and sign up for our e-mail newsletter, www.successpodcast.com. You'll get a ton of free goodies, including our free guide to remembering anything when you sign up. You'll also get access to our newsletter and our interviews as soon as they go live and all of the great content here on the Science of Success.

If you're on the go, don't forget to text smarter, that's S-M-A-R-T-E-R to 44-222 to get signed up today. We thank you for spending this time with us and we'll see you back here next week on the Science of Success.

[00:41:51] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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Thanks again, and we'll see you on the next episode of the Science of Success.

July 23, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Decision Making
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The Greatest Superpower You Already Have with Michael Bungay Stanier

July 16, 2020 by Lace Gilger in Influence & Communication

In this episode, we share some incredible insights into how you can improve your life, improve your thinking, and why advice so often gets it wrong with our guest Michael Bungay Stanier.

Michael Bungay Stanier is a leading expert in teaching organizations around the world about being coach-like as essential leadership behavior. His book The Coaching Habit is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over 700,000 copies sold and 1,000+ five-star reviews on Amazon. In 2019, he was named the #1 thought leader in coaching and was shortlisted for the coaching prize by Thinkers50. Michael is also the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company. His newest book, The Advice Trap, focuses on what it takes to stay curious a little bit longer and tame your Advice Monster.

  • Managers, leaders, and humans need to change their behavior to be more curious for longer and rush to advice-giving more slowly. 

  • “There is a TON of research that curiosity is a superpower"

  • Everybody gets that in theory.. but in practice it’s much harder. 

  • Think about how much bad advice you get daily. 

  • Advice is usually missing context, specificity, or isn’t quite right. 

  • We are almost schizophrenic about the way we give advice - we love giving other people advice, but 

  • Advice is important, but it’s our response that needs to change - we jump in and give the wrong advice or we give advice too soon. 

  • There are 3 ways that advice often goes wrong. 

  • If the person you're talking to doesn’t know what their real problem is, then the chances of your advice solving that problem are pretty minimal. 

  • Your advice isn’t nearly as good as you think it is. 

  • We have TONs of cognitive biases tricking us into thinking we’re smarter than we are. 

  • The more sure you are that you have great advice, the more likely it is that your advice is not that strong. 

  • Advice, in some ways, is condescending

  • Even though you have the answer, what might be the most powerful way to help someone could be to allow them to find the answer for themselves.

    • Help people develop accountability and self-sufficiency 

  • Advice is a massively overworked muscle for most people. 

  • We have a lot of very smart people in the world, working very hard, trying to solve the WRONG PROBLEMS. 

  • School, university and early career - it’s reinforced that you have to have the answer to add value, but the more you study leadership - you start to realize that your answers aren’t that great, and it’s more about great questions and helping people find the answers for themselves. 

  • One of the most powerful questions you can ask as a manager or leader is the FOCUS question:

    • What’s the real challenge here for you?

    • This question helps swing the spotlight from the challenge to the person - it stops being about the external issue, it starts being about why it’s hard for the person you’re talking to. 

  • Powerful questions give the people you work with the opportunity to learn, grow, and get smarter.

  • Asking questions and holding space for those you work with allows them to become more competent and more confident. 

  • Be more coach-like. How can you stay curious just a little bit longer?

  • Curiosity feels a bit touchy-feel and soft - but the reality is that it’s one of the most powerful leadership skills you can cultivate. 

  • Curiosity fuels 3 leadership virtues:

    • Mindfulness

    • Humility

    • Empathy

  • Another POWERFUL question to ask yourself:

    • "What do I know to be true?"

    • It’s really powerful to understand what’s actually going on instead of what you think is going on. 

  • Ask yourself: “Who am I at my best?"

  • Don’t give people the answer, help them find the answer for themselves. 

  • Leaders should provide a balance between certainty and curiosity.

  • Curiosity opens up the power of agility, creativity, and possibility. 

  • In times of stress, we have to be thinking BETTER - and curiosity is a key component of that. 

  • “Slow-motion multi-tasking” and using the power of creative incubation to get powerful new insights on the projects you’re working on.

  • Different moments require different leadership styles. 

  • The 3 personas of the advice monster

    • “Tell It"

    • “Save It"

    • “Control It"

  • False beliefs about giving advice:

    • Do you think that, as a leader, you need to have the answer to everything? 

    • Do you think that you’re responsible for everyone and that you must rescue everyone?

    • Do you think that the way to succeed is to never give up control?

  • All three of these false-beliefs set impossible standards for you to achieve or attain. 

  • Giving advice in some way conveys that you think you’re superior to the other person - it diminishes them. 

  • How do you tame your advice monster?

  • The difference between easy change and hard change. 

    • An easy change is adding content to what’s already there. 

  • What will you say no to now, so that you can say YES to in the future?

  • Become a connoisseur of great questions and collect them as you come across them. 

  • How do you become more curious? Start asking questions. Just start asking. Plunge into the action immediately, just ask the question and then shut up and listen to the answer. 

  • People grow and learn when you allow them to reflect? 

  • Powerful Questions

    • STRATEGIC Question: What will you say no to now, so that you can say YES to in the future?

    • FOCUS Question: What is the real challenge here for you?

    • LEARNING Question: What was the most useful or most valuable here for you?

  • When should we give advice?

    • Less often than you think. 

    • It’s very situational.

    • Give advice after curiosity has run its course. 

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Want To Dig In More?! - Here’s The Show Notes, Links, & Research

General

  • Michael’s Website and LinkedIn

  • Box of Crayons Website, Facebook, and Twitter  

  • The Coaching Habit

  • The Advice Trap

Media

  • Forbes - “The Secret To Engaging Your Team In An Era Of Distance And Distraction” by Nihar Chhaya

  • Instructional Coaching Group - “Five Ways to Be More Coach-Like, From Michael Bungay Stanier” by Geoff Knight 

  • The Growth Faculty - “GREAT IDEAS: THE COACHING HABIT BY MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER {INTERVIEW}” By Karen Beattie

  • Muckrack - Articles Directory for MBS

  • The Coaching Tools Company - “BOOK REVIEW: "The Coaching Habit" by Michael Bungay Stanier”

  • Growth Lab - “How to publish a book on Amazon (and sell over 100,000 copies the SMART way)” by MBS

  • Huffpost - “You Need a Coaching Habit” by MBS

  • Blinkist Magazine - “What A Great Coach Reads: Michael Bungay Stanier’s Favorite Books” by Natallia Darozhkina

  • Steven Pressfield “Michael Bungay Stanier” By Callie Oettinger (interview from 2010, pretty interesting glimpse of back in the day)

  • [Podcast] Meeting Strategist - Coach-Like Leadership in Times of Crisis, with Michael Bungay Stanier (Mar 16, 2020)

  • [Podcast] LEADERS GET REAL - Guest: Michael Bungay Stanier - author of The Advice Trap

  • [Podcast] First Time Facilitator - Why being “barely adequate” is a smart strategy for First Time Facilitators with Michael Bungay-Stanier (Episode 106)

  • [Podcast] ELEVATE WITH ROBERT GLAZER - Michael Bungay Stanier on Coaching and The Advice Trap

  • [Podcast] Whitney Johnson: Disrupt Yourself Podcast - Michael Bungay Stanier: Build Stronger Teams Through Coaching

  • [Podcast] The Art of Manliness - #264: How to Coach People in Business, Sports, and Life

Videos

  • TEDxTalks - How to tame your Advice Monster | Michael Bungay Stanier | TEDxUniversityofNevada

  • Talks at Google - Michael Bungay Stanier: "Do More Great Work" | Talks at Google

  • Box of Crayons YouTube Channel

    • How to ask a great question

  • Productivity Game - THE COACHING HABIT by Michael Bungay Stanier | Core Message

  • Learning Technologies - Michael Bungay-Stanier : The Guide to Effective Coaching in 10 Minutes :Learning Technologies 2013

  • Optimize - Optimize Interview: The Coaching Habit with Michael Bungay Stanier

  • Inspire Nation - ★ 7 Questions to Get Yourself Inspired! | Michael Bungay Stanier | The Coaching Habit

  • Book Video Club - "The Coaching Habit" by Michael Bungay Stanier - BOOK SUMMARY

  • Rich Litvin - Rich Litvin & Michael Bungay Stanier Interview

  • Mindful Communication - Mindful Communication Podcast - The Advice Trap with Michael Bungay Stanier

    • 5 Best Ideas | THE ADVICE TRAP | Michael Bungay Stanier | Book Summary

Books

  • The Advice Trap book site

  • The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier 

  • The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever  by Michael Bungay Stanier

  • Do More Great Work.: Stop the Busywork, and Start the Work that Matters  by Michael Bungay Stanier, Seth Godin, Michael Port, Dave Ulrich, Chris Guillebeau, and Leo Babauta

  • End Malaria by Michael Bungay Stanier

  • Great Work Provocations: Short, sharp shots of inspiration  by Michael Bungay Stanier

  • Get Unstuck & Get Going...on the stuff that matters  by Michael Bungay Stanier

Misc

  • [Article] HBR - “Leadership That Gets Results” by Daniel Goleman

  • [SoS Episode] How To Master Emotional Intelligence & Why Your IQ Won’t Make You Successful with Dr. Daniel Goleman

  • [Video] TED - A powerful way to unleash your natural creativity | Tim Harford

  • [Podcast] HBR IdeaCast / Episode 651 The Power of Curiosity

Episode Transcript

[00:00:04.4] ANNOUNCER: Welcome to The Science of Success. Introducing your host, Matt Bodnar.

[0:00:11.8] MB: Welcome to the Science of Success; the number one evidence-based growth podcast on the Internet with more than five million downloads and listeners in over a hundred countries.

In this episode, we share some incredible insights in how you can improve your life, improve your thinking and why advice so often gets it wrong, with our guest, Michael Bungay Stanier.

Are you a fan of the show and have you been enjoying the content that we put together for you? If you have, I would love it if you signed up for our e-mail list. We have some amazing content on there, along with a really great free course that we put a ton of time into called How To Create Time for What Matters Most In Your Life. If that sounds exciting and interesting and you want a bunch of other free goodies and giveaways along with that, just go to successpodcast.com. You can sign up right on the homepage. That’s successpodcast.com. Or if you’re on your phone right now, all you have to do is text the word smarter, that’s S-M-A-R-T-E-R to the number 44-222.

In our previous wide-spanning interview, we discussed the founding of a multi-billion dollar public company, the inside baseball of what it takes to build a truly massive business and we dug into some of the biggest questions in life, how do we deal with the problem of evil, how do we merge science and spirituality and much more with our previous guest, Scott Shay.

Now for our interview with Michael.

[00:01:38] MB: Michael Bungay Stanier is a leading expert in teaching organizations around the world about being coach-like as an essential leadership behavior. His book The Coaching Habit is the best-selling coaching book of this century with over 700,000 copies sold and a 1,000 plus five-star reviews on Amazon. In 2019, he was named the number one thought leader in coaching and was shortlisted for the coaching prize by Thinkers 50. Michael also is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company. His newest book, The Advice Trap, focuses on what it takes to stay curious a little bit longer and tame your advice monster. Michael welcome to the Science of Success.

[00:02:19] MBS: Matt, I’m happy to be here. Thank you for having me.

[00:02:21] MB: Well, we're so excited to have you on the show today. I’d love to dig into this topic, because it's such a fascinating one and something that is really relevant, personally for me for sure, but for everyone is how do we tame our advice monster? Before we even get into that, what is an advice monster?

[00:02:38] MBS: Well, I love you asking that, because actually as soon as I start explaining it, everybody's going to know exactly what I’m talking about. To take one step backwards before we step forward, I would say that if I’ve got one key message that I am banging a drum about and waving a flag about and jumping up and down about it's this; I’m looking for a behavior change amongst managers and leaders and human beings to stay curious a little bit longer and rush to action and advice giving a little bit more slowly. This is what I mean to be more coach-like.

There's just a ton of research and evidence anecdotally and scientific that says curiosity is a bit of a superpower. If you can stay curious longer, you win, they win, the organization wins, we all win. Now everybody gets that in theory. In practice, we're not that great at being curious and part of our problem is our advice monster. This is what it feels like. Somebody starts talking to you, and even though you don't know that person particularly well and you don't really know what they're talking about and you don't know the people involved and you don't really understand the context and you definitely don't know the technical specifications and you don’t know the culture from which this thing is happening in, nonetheless after about 10 seconds, your advice monster looms up out of the dark and goes, “Oh, or you're going to add some value to this conversation and you've got ideas and opinions and advice and solutions and insights and actions that you are desperate to share.”

People recognize this, because they've been on both sides of the equation. They've been that person who's like, “Oh, no. I’m triggered and I’m instantly wanting to tell people what to do.” You've also been on the other side of the conversation, where you start telling somebody something and after five seconds, they have the audacity to start offering up some random piece of advice that they've just thought of. That's the advice monster and that's what we're about trying to tame your advice monster.

[00:04:32] MB: That's great. I think we've all had that experience. It's so funny. I love the way you describe it, because when you're the one giving the advice it's so easy to fall into that trap of oh, they need to hear this and this and this. Then vice versa, as soon as someone starts giving you advice, you shut down, or you just, “Oh. Yeah, no. That's not going to work. I don't need to hear that.” You know what I mean? You immediately start discounting it substantially.

[00:04:54] MBS: Just think of how much bad advice you get on a regular basis, whether it is jumping onto LinkedIn and going, “Oh, here's the people randomly pontificating about stuff,” or people who are generally your friends or colleagues and they're trying to help you out. If you think about it you’re like, “Oh, most of that advice isn't quite right, or isn't quite on point, or isn't quite useful, or is completely unuseful.”

Then even the stuff that you try, it doesn't even work that well. That's frustrating in terms of the advice that you get. We forget to realize that that's actually how people feel about our advice as well. Matt, it is worth saying that what I’m not trying to go on about here is to say never give advice, because that is – obviously, that's ridiculous. Advice is a key part of how we work, how we communicate, how we operate, how organizations and civilizations progress. It's not about advice. Advice is fine. Advice is important. What I’m trying to deal with is our default response to wanting to leap in and give ideas and give opinions and give solutions. That's the advice monster, that leaping in and trying to help every time.

[00:06:04] MB: You said something really important, which is that advice a lot of the time, especially when you jump in without really more deeply understanding everything often lacks context.

[00:06:16] MBS: Well actually, there are three ways advice goes wrong. I’ll go through one by one. The first is this, you don’t have any idea what the real problem is. You're busy trying to solve the wrong thing, because you don't have context. It's not just you, but the other person who's brought this thing to the table probably hasn't articulated the problem in a way that as clear and as insightful and as real as they might have. Often, they don't know what the problem is.

If they don't know the problem, what are the odds of you providing advice to solve the real problem? Pretty minimal. Even if, let's just say miraculously, somehow you've actually figured out what the real challenge is, it's the thing that if you could solve this, it will make a difference. Let's say that's the scenario.

Well, here's the second way that advice goes wrong. Your advice isn't nearly as good as you think it is. If you're listening to Matt in my conversation you'll go, “Yeah, Michael. I know that is true about other people's advice, because frankly that’s terrible, most of it.” My advice is actually pretty amazing. What you need to do and I’m sure there are some episodes on this is to go and listen to people talking about cognitive biases, because we have a ton of them all designed to make us feel that we're smarter than we actually are.

In fact, the more sure you are that you're smart and you have great advice, the more likely it is that you're actually not that great and your advice is not that strong. Even if, Matt, we go okay, let's say that you've somehow got the right challenge and you have a piece of gold dust advice, a really helpful, useful, powerful solution that could make all the difference, then you have this leadership moment, a leadership crossroads where the question, or what's at risk, what’s at play is this, on the one hand, you could be the person who provides the fast, right answer. In doing so, disempowers other person. In doing so, says the other person, always come to me and says to the other person, don't think, don't try and do it. Says to the other person, “By the way, I’m a little bit better than you are.”

Or you can say to yourself, “You know what? Even though I have the answer, what might be most powerful right now is to help them figure out how to find out the answer themselves,” because even if their answer is not quite as good as mine, it's probably good enough. The benefits that I get from that, they feel empowered, they feel smarter, they feel more autonomous, more competent, more confident can make all the difference to how you lead and the longer-term game that you're playing, which is you want to have people in your life who are confident and competent and self-sufficient and autonomous and all of those good things.

[00:08:59] MB: That's such a great point. I love the insight. It's funny, because if you think about it, it really comes from if you look all the way to people like Buddhist monks and teachers of Eastern religion up to something as simple as parenting, often the strategy is to help someone, or give someone a little bit of guidance, so that they can find the answer for themselves. In many ways, that's if you read stories about how Buddhist monks and stuff like that teach, that's often how they do it. They don't give you the answer. They force you to find the answer for yourself. It's such more powerful.

[00:09:30] MBS: I mean, it's a classic. Teach a person to fish, rather than giving them fish. It's a much more generative act. Now there are times when you need to give the person the fish, just to keep saying that. There's times when advice is the right thing to do. It's just a massively overworked muscle for most of us.

We're recording this at the time of crisis. COVID-19 is going on, so it's part of that cyclical part of life that all hell breaks loose. I was thinking back to the last significant crisis that showed up, which was the financial crisis back 12 years ago in 2008. One of the people I’ve come to know recently is a guy called Alan Mulally, who was the – he was very senior in Boeing and then he moved to Ford during the financial crisis to save Ford. He was the first CEO that wasn't a part of the Ford family.

At the time, Ford was losing 17 billion dollars a year. I mean, it's like, how much money is that? It’s 300 million dollars a week that they're losing. If ever there's a moment when if you're the CEO you want to be giving you advice, it would be coming into that sinking ship. For what's really distinctive about his leadership style is he said, “Look, my job as the CEO even when I thought I knew I had the best answer was really to never give the answer.” It was about making sure accountability and self-sufficiency and confidence rested in the right level of the organization, so the problem got solved in the place where it needed to get solved.

If you read his biography, he's got these great stories about going, “Yeah. Even as we were burning cut loads of cash, his job was to hold the meeting and create the space and ask the questions and not actually provide the answer.”

[00:11:19] MB: It's funny. I’ve heard a couple people recently say that that biography is awesome, so I’ll definitely have to add that to my list to check out.

[00:11:26] MBS: Yeah, and he's a very nice guy. I mean, he is one of those – if you like Jim Collins’ work, Good to Great, he's one of those level five leaders. Fairly quiet. Not super brash. Not a CEO superstar. But just absolutely committed to the two engines of successful organization, which is impact and efficiency, and also engagement and empowerment.

[00:11:49] MB: Really interesting. Well, I want to come back to something you said a second ago that I thought was another really great takeaway, which comes back to the idea of advice, which is this notion that oftentimes the person describing their problem, or challenge to you may not even themselves understand what the real issue is. The fact that you're trying to give them advice on that surface level manifestation almost guarantees in many cases, or makes it extremely likely that the advice probably isn't going to be very helpful.

[00:12:22] MBS: Right. This is part of our challenge, which is we've got a lot of very smart people in the world working very hard trying to solve the wrong problems, because the reason we have an advice monster, well there's a number of reasons, but one of them is we've spent our lifetime being rewarded for being the person with the advice. From school to university to our early career, it's all about do you have the answer? Are you a subject matter expert? Have you passed the test?

We've had a lot of training and a lot of reinforcement to say, have the answer, have the answer, have the answer. That's how you add value. It's really clear that effective leaders are the ones who recognize, actually my answers are probably not that great. Even if they are great, they may not be the best thing for me to be doing. The best thing I can do is to shift how I think about my role from the provider of the answer to the person who helps us figure out what the real challenge is.

In my earlier book, The Coaching Habit, I talked about these seven questions that anybody can start using and it will make them a more effective manager, leader, human being, because this is isn't just about a corporate setting. This is if you interact with other human beings, this stuff rings true. One of the most powerful questions and the one that's really been taken up and used by lots of people around the world now is the focus question. The focus question is this, what's the real challenge here for you? The way that is built, the way that's constructed actually matters.

Let me break this down, because I know people like a good practical tip. This may be one of the questions you want to add to your repertoire. What's the real challenge here for you? If you just ask somebody, “Okay, what's the challenge here?” It's not a terrible question, but you're likely to get a bit of a high-level executive summary of what's going on. Somebody comes in and goes, “Blah, blah, blah,” and you go, “What's the challenge here?” They'll go, “Blah, blah, blah.” They'll repeat what they've just told you.

The question becomes better as soon as you say, “All right. What's the real challenge?” Because now you're saying to them, “Look, there's more than one thing going on. This is a complex situation. I want you to think about this. Of all the things that are there, what do you think the real challenge is?” Now you're forcing them to be smarter. You're forcing them to prioritize. You're forcing them to get to the heart of the issue, the systemic problem. The question becomes even more powerful when you add the phrase, “for you” at the end of the question. What's the real challenge here for you?

Because the magic that happens here is that the spotlight swings from the problem to the person solving the problem. Now it's not, “Hey, Matt. What's the real challenge with this issue?” But you're like, “Matt, what's the real challenge here for you with this issue?” It stops being about the external issue and it starts being about why this is hard for the person you're talking to. Two amazing things happen here. The first is you are giving them an opportunity to learn and grow and get smarter.

They actually become level up in terms of their own capacity and you also solve the actual problem. You get this double benefit of solving the real issue and helping the person get smarter by the way that they've solved it.

[00:15:40] MB: That's such a great insight. The notion that we need to unlearn the conditioning from school and our early careers that we have to have the answers, the reality is that as leaders, it's often best to do the opposite of that. Both by asking questions and holding the space for other people, you give them the opportunity as you said, to learn to grow, to get smarter and to ultimately find better solutions.

[00:16:07] MBS: I mean, this way we talked about this definition of being more coach-like is to say look, can you just stay curious a little bit longer? I’m not talking hours, or days, or weeks. I’m going, “Look, I’ll take two minutes.” If you can prolong your opening conversation with two minutes of curiosity, it can be interesting to see how those conversations shift. I think you'll be stunned.

[00:16:30] MB: I’d love to dig in it a little bit on something you mentioned at the very beginning of the conversation now that you brought curiosity back up. Tell me a little bit more about the superpower of curiosity and even maybe some of the research behind it, if you know of any.

[00:16:41] MBS: Sure. Well, what they find is it's easy to sideline curiosity, because it feels a bit touchy-feely. It feels a bit like, “Oh, that was great when I was eight. I was meant to be exploring the world.” Now I’m a grown-up. I’ve got to get stuff done. I’ve got to be focused on what matters. I’m going to try and pursue what actually needs to happen here.

There was a relatively recent issue in 2019 of the Harvard Business Review dedicated entirely to the power of curiosity. This is if people are looking for a resource, that's a really great place to start, because there's seven or eight strong articles about the power of curiosity and the research behind it. What you find is that when you have people building curiosity into the way that they work, the impact of that actually moves up and down an organization. When you are working with curiosity, it allows the person you're working with, it allows them to become more confident, more self-aware, more self-sufficient.

There's a way that curiosity fuels three virtues for you potentially as a leader. There's I would say, mindfulness, humility and empathy. Let me just talk briefly about what I think those three virtues are. Those are three words that come with a lot of baggage, but I’ll give you my quick definitions of them.

I think empathy is being more other aware, so you're more conscious of the other person and what's going on for them. Mindfulness is being more situationally aware, or more reality aware. You're better aware of what's actually going on around you right now. Humility is actually being more self-aware, understanding who you are, not just your flaws and your messiness, but your complexity and your strengths and that whole mix together. Curiosity allows you to step forward into empathy and humility and to mindfulness, because when you stay curious, you are able to understand the other person more, because you haven't rushed to action, or advice, or telling them what to do. You're staying curious about what the real challenge is for them. You get to know more about who they are.

When you are more empathic, you better understand the other person across the table, or across the Zoom screen from you. With mindfulness, if you're willing to ask yourself and here's the powerful question around mindfulness, what do I know to be true? It actually allows you to be more grounded in terms of what's actually happening in a situation. If you think to yourself, for me as a leader, it's really powerful to understand what's going on, rather than what I have made up is going on, what's my judgment based on the facts, then that curiosity around, “Well, what is true? What do I know to be true right now,” is very grounding and very clarifying in terms of these are the facts, here's the data and then here's the cloud of opinion and judgment and feelings that I’ve got that swirl around that.

It's another good coaching question around, so who am I at my best, is a great question to reflect on for humility. I know who my best doesn't quite seem to fit with people's idea of humility. If you take humility as being more aware of who you are in a grounded, realistic way, then it's about actually going, so who are you at your best and what are your strengths and how do you play to those strengths?

Well, I think if you find that you are more aware who you are and you're more aware of who the other people are and you're more aware of what reality is, you're inevitably going to make better decisions and more courageous decisions, because you have a clearer eye view of exactly what's going on from three different perspectives.

[00:20:31] MB: I love all these questions. To me, one of the most important leadership skills has always been exactly what you're describing, this idea of awareness and acceptance of what's actually true about yourself, about the world, about the situation. To me, that is one of the most important skills in being successful in anything.

[00:20:50] MBS: Yeah. That then scales up to being important at a team level at an organizational level. There's a lot of talk at the moment, particularly around resilience and the need to be resilient. Well, what people want in their leaders is a balance between certainty and curiosity and finding that appropriate mix. In times of anxiety and stress and uncertainty, then people tend to default to even more certainty than before. Just tell me what to do. Just tell me what's happening. Just give me the answer.

Or if you're on the other side it’s like, “I’m just going to tell you stuff. I don't even know if it's true. I’m just trying to create certainty around here.” Obviously, there is a place for certainty. We look to our leaders and we go, actually, give me clarity here because my amygdala, that lizard brain, I don't like uncertainty. It's swirling at that moment where I’m like, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what the facts are. I’m anxious and I’m worried. The brain, that reptilian brain craves certainty. You have to find a way of giving it enough certainty to calm it down.

Curiosity is what opens up the powers of agility and the powers of possibility and innovation and creativity. If you think to yourself in times of stress, we have to be thinking better and in a more open way and in a more creative way, so we can find the next path and the next solution and the next business model and the next way of working, then that's when you need and want curiosity as well.

[00:22:26] MB: That's a great insight too. On times of stress, we have to upgrade our thinking. We have to think as clearly and creatively as possible and curiosity is such an important component of that.

[00:22:36] MBS: Yeah, and in times of stress, our brain is going the opposite.

[00:22:39] MB: That's right.

[00:22:39] MBS: It’s going, “Shut down, shut down. Narrow your vision.” Everything's black and white. Everything's fight or flight. I mean, in times of stress, it's hard to realize this because you are you, so you don't really see it the difference, but you're just thinking less well. You are just not as smart as you are when you are less stressed and able to be more open and be more subtle about what you see.

[00:23:04] MB: To me, that comes back to one of the things that I’ve seen so much in the research and I’ve heard many, many times is the importance of having some what they often call in the science, contemplative routine as part of your life, to give yourself an ability to step back, to think, to get more clarity on the situation, instead of being just stuck in a constant state of reactivity.

[00:23:25] MBS: I mean, you've talked to a lot of people, so you must have heard about a lot of people sharing their contemplative routines. What are some of the ones that you've heard most often and seem to really work for people?

[00:23:36] MB: I think it could be something as simple as I think meditation is a component of it. I don't think it's the whole solution. Just because I think you need to – I’m a huge fan of meditation, but I think you need to couple it with some journaling practice. To me, without going super deep on this, because I want to get the insights from you, turning the tables a little bit, but to me, one of the most powerful strategies is harnessing what the neuroscience calls creative incubation and essentially, planting ideas, or questions, or challenges in your mind and then consciously shifting your focus away from those for a period of time, whether that's sleeping, working out, whatever, and then returning before you get mired in e-mail and text and crises and all the stuff and just spending 10 or 15, maybe 20 minutes journaling about that challenge.

There's a ton of neuroscience around all the creative process that's unlocked by doing that. To me, leveraging that practice even once a week, or a couple times a week, or whenever you have a big challenge is such a great way to get tremendously powerful insights and get a little bit of distance from the challenge you’re dealing with.

[00:24:38] MBS: There’s a writer called Tim Harford. He’s a UK guy; has a number of really brilliant podcasts and a number of really great TED Talks as well. In one of his TED Talks, he talks about slow motion and multitasking, which is to have a series of projects on the go, and moving between the different projects, because what you allow is effectively that incubation. You work on one project and when you get stuck, you move on to the next project. When you get stuck, you move on to the next project.

There's a cross fertilization that happens in between the different projects. There's that incubation process, which is like, “I’m not actively thinking about project A. But even as I work on project B and C, part of my brain has taken away, so when I come back to project A, stuff has shifted and stuff gets unlocked.”

[00:25:27] MB: I love that term. I haven't heard that before, but I’ll definitely have to check that out and maybe we'll get him on the show, because that's a great insight.

[00:25:32] MBS: He's so articulate. He was a debating champion as a kid and a public speaking champion as a kid. He is smart and funny.

[00:25:40] MB: That's great. I was a debater in high school too, so maybe we'll have something to chat about. I really want to come back to this core theme that you've shared to me is just such a powerful learning, that this idea that instead of – and we're using the example of being a leader, being a manager, being an entrepreneur and whatever, but it applies so many areas of your life. Instead of focusing on being the person that always says the answer is commanding everyone, some of the most powerful leaders and even especially really in times of crisis, the people who really create the best results are the people who are focused on being humble, being curious, being mindful about the situation and trying to figure out how can I get the most information possible and how can I empower other people to grow, to learn, to become smarter, to become more confident and help them find the answer for themselves, as opposed to me just giving it to them?

[00:26:29] MBS: Yeah. I mean, there's an article Daniel Goleman wrote and it's in the Harvard Business Review about 20 years ago, so I think the year 2000. The article is called Leadership that Gets Results. He actually did a cross-country, cross-sector survey and found six leadership styles emerging. Actually came to the conclusion that the best leaders know how to use all six at the appropriate time. Typical leaders tend to use two, maybe three.

You don't want to walk away from here going, okay, at all times and every way I should just ask questions, because you'll become very annoying, and an inefficient leader and influencer, because this isn't just about leading a team. It's about how you interact with humans. It is about knowing that different moments require different mixes of leadership styles. It's also knowing that your curiosity and that coach-like approach to being a leader is your underutilized leadership skill right now. You default to certainty, you default to direction, you default to giving answers, and learning how to attain that advice monster and stay curious a little bit longer is the powerful step to take.

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[00:28:57] MB: Let's bring that back then to some of the different personas that the advice monster can manifest in people's lives.

[00:29:05] MBS: Perfect. Yeah, there's actually three. When we talked about that the first reason why we have an advice monster, which is practice, it was when a lifetime being rewarded and encouraged to be the person with the answer. There's a way that our advice monster there has deeper roots than just that. The three advice monsters are tell it, save it and control it. I’m going to go through each one of them.

If people are interested to know which advice monster is most real for them, there's actually a quiz, a questionnaire people can take at theadvicetrap.com. There's 20 questions, or maybe five minutes. You'll actually get a reading on which advice monster is strongest for you. You'll probably figure it out as you listen to me explain them, so here we go.

Tell it. Tell it is the noisiest of the three. Tell it basically persuaded you that your job and in fact, your vital job is to have all the answers. I mean, you need to have all the answers. In fact, if you don't have all the answers to everything, you are failing. Of course, it's actually impossible to have all the answers to everything, because even the answers you think you do have are not that great and the answers that are good, honestly people can just look up on Google anyway. That's what the advice tell it has persuaded you. That's your job. You don't have all the answers, you will fail.

The second advice monster or persona of the advice monster is save it. Save it is softer, whereas pastels put its arm around you and going, your job is you're responsible for everybody. I mean, you need to rescue everyone. You can't let anybody stumble, or struggle, or fail, or get it wrong. In fact, your job is to make sure everybody is protected and safe at all times. If anybody finds it difficult at all, you have failed. Now because you haven't picked it up, it's just impossible to do that as it is to have all the answers, but this is this advice monster, which is the save it piece. I’m a happy child free man, but parents I’ve heard particularly resonate with this one.

Then the third of the advice monsters, which is the most subtle of the three is control it. Control it has convinced you that the way you succeed, the way you win is to never give up control. I mean, keep your hands on the wheel at all times. Don't let others in. Don't share responsibility. Don't share power. Make sure that you manage and micromanage from start through the middle, or to the finish on everything, because if you give up control even for a moment, all hell will break loose, chaos will arrive and you and all will fail.

All three of these advice monsters, they're going, “No, no. You've got to jump in and give the answer, because the alternative is chaos. The alternative is failure. Now as I described those, I hope you're seeing that they actually set impossible standards. They're actually attached to if you want to get fancy about it, ego states, that sense of having the high status, having the right answer, being the rescuer, the savior, being the person who's in control at all times. That gives us some short-term wins. Look how smart I am. Look how much I care about everybody. Look how in control I am.

The short-term wins start to pale against the immediate cost to you, which is you're exhausted, you're got an impossible task, you're disempowering other people, you're effectively saying, “I’m better than you. You're not up for this. I need to take control here.” The price you pay and the price they pay and the price your organization pays far outweighs those short-term wins that you're getting from letting your advice monsters loose.

[00:32:40] MB: That's such a good insight and that's something you touched on that earlier too and I had a note to follow up on, because I think it's a very subtle part of giving advice that we often miss, which is there's a subconscious message that's being conveyed, which is, “I’m better than you. I’m smarter than you. You can't handle it. You can't do it.” Tell me a little bit more about that.

[00:33:00] MBS: If you are on the receiving end, or somebody who every time you go and talk to them goes, “Here is my answer and my answer is the right answer,” and just act on my answer, the message you're getting is you're not here to think. You're not here for you to grow, or to learn. You’re here just to do, just to implement what I’m thinking. Because you've got that advice wants to driving you and that controller and they save it in a colored piece, all of those states where you’re like, “To do that, I obviously have to be better than you, because if I’m trying to save you, obviously I have some form of superiority to you. If I’m in control of it, obviously I’m superior. If I have all the answers, obviously I’m superior as well.”

It is an act that is deeply diminishing. If that is your constant response. If you are driven by your advice monster. If everybody in your team goes, “What you do? We just show up and wait for Michael to pontificate,” then you are actively diminishing these people. By diminishing them, you're disengaging them and you’re not getting the best out of them. Of course, they're suffering from that as well, but you pay a terrible price for that, which is like, “Now, you're responsible for everything and everybody and that's exhausting and impossible.”

[00:34:14] MB: Yeah, that totally makes sense. It's many ways, the underside of giving advice that we often don't see. I want to come to – we've talked a lot about some of the pitfalls of giving advice and the way that the advice monster can manifest itself in our lives. How do you think about taming the advice monster?

[00:34:34] MBS: Curiosity is the great cure-all for this. It's about understanding that if you can move to staying curious a little bit longer, then that is the specific behavior that will make a difference. Now part of the reason I wrote The Advice Trap, was I wrote The Coaching Habit and The Coaching Habit says, “Look, here are seven solid, tested, reliable questions. If you can build those into your everyday routine, you'll be a more effective person.”

There's hundreds of thousands of people who went, “I get it and I’m using it,” and it's true. I am a better, smarter, manager, leader, human being as a result of these seven questions and it's fantastic. There are also a bunch of people who probably read the book, went, “Michael it's a good book, but you know what? It's really hard to change my behavior to actually shift to doing that.” I think for the people who don't just pick up the questions and go, “Oh, this is what I was waiting for. I’ll just start adding those to my repertoire,” you have to do a little deeper work.

In the book, I talk about the difference between easy change and hard change. Easy change is the metaphor is it's like downloading a new app. You're adding content to what's already there. That can be as simple as going, here are the seven questions. Use these. Okay, great. I’ve got the app. I’ll use the questions. Things are better.

For some of us downloading a new app, doesn't work. I mean, we've all downloaded apps that are exercise apps and we're not exercising. What's going on about that? Well, turns out that for some of us, it's not an app we need, it's a new operating system. For some of us, taming our advice monster is actually rethinking about how we show up and what it will take for us to level up to get to that next stage.

It's not a fast, simple answer. It takes, this is self-work, this is hard change. It's hard. I’ll share the question that's at the heart of this work, which is what we say no to now about the way you currently work, so that you can say yes to a better way of working in the future. What that means is you need to say to yourself things like, “I need to say no to being the person who thinks he's the smartest person in the room, so that I can say yes to inviting others in my team to have answers, so that they can actually contribute and actually grow in confidence and competence and autonomy like I’ve been hoping.”

[00:37:04] MB: That's another great question. You have so many fascinating questions and I am writing all these down, because I definitely want to use these in the future. I think all of them are so good at shaping your response in a way that you get really productive answers.

[00:37:18] MBS: Yeah. When I started doing my coach training formally 20 years ago, but informally 30 years ago, I used to just collect questions. Anytime I see somebody ask a question and I see it land and really work I’d be like, “Oh, that's a good one. Write that down.” Then I’d see other questions that didn't seem to work as well and we're like, “Okay. Why didn't that work? Why didn't it land?” Often, it's too complicated, or too cerebral, or too long, or there's too much of an introduction, or whatever.

To everybody who's listening, one of the ways for you to become more curious is to become a connoisseur of good questions. Keep your ears out, keep your eyes out, collect the ones that work and practice and see which ones start working for you.

[00:38:04] MB: I think that's great. I’m curious, how do you think about both asking better questions and I love the idea of becoming a connoisseur of questions and collecting them. I think that's a great strategy. Beyond that, how do you think about asking really good questions and what are some of the other really powerful questions that you've uncovered or discovered along the way?

[00:38:23] MBS: Well, in terms of asking good questions, I’m going to just start with the most obvious thing, which is ask questions. Actually, ask a question. Because in the classic way, what's the best form of exercise routine? It's the one you do. What's the best question? It's the one you ask. If you want to start asking good questions, just start asking questions.

If I was going to offer up one suggestion, it would be you don't need an introduction, you need a lead-in, you don't need an explanation of why you're about to ask this question, just think like a James Bond film. James Bond films, they're like, you plunge into the action immediately. Do the same with your questions, which is plunge in and just ask the question. Then shut it up and listen to the answer. This stuff doesn't sound that complicated and it's not. It's ask a question, shut up, listen to the answer.

It's really powerful, because it's difficult, because not many of us are good at doing that. If I was to share some other questions for people to listen to perhaps use and to add, we've heard the focus question, which is what's the real challenge here for you. You've heard the strategic question, which is what am I going to say yes to? If I’m going to say yes to that, what must I say no to?

I think one of the most powerful ones you can add is the learning question. The learning question is the seventh question in the coaching habit book. If you say to yourself, “Look, my job is to actually help my people be better and smarter and to grow and learn,” you need to understand how people grow and learn. People don't grow and learn from you telling them stuff, or even by them doing stuff. They grow and they learn when you give them an opportunity to stop and reflect.

The learning question is what was most useful, or most valuable here for you? We can put that into play right away, because Matt and I coming to the end of this conversation now and we've covered quite a lot in the 45 minutes or so that we've been chatting away. I’d be curious, dear listener, what was most useful or most valuable here for you? What I hope you noticed is I asked that question and you immediately start thinking, is it starts making this podcast episode more useful for you right away, because previously you're like, “Oh, that's pretty good. Mike was entertaining. Matt's a great interviewer. This builds on some other stuff that I knew about. I enjoyed it.”

Now I go, Yeah. What was most useful or most valuable? Was it the strategic question? Was it the advice monsters? Was it the advice monster questionnaire? Was it something that Matt said? Was it something that Michael said? Now I’m forcing you to get the value and extract what was most useful for you. Then if you were to write a review of the podcast and go, “This is a great episode and this is what I learned from it.” Of course, every podcast host wants a review, so you should think about writing a review if you haven't done that already.

What would then happen is that Matt and I would read the reviews and we go, “Oh, that was what was most useful,” and we would learn as well. That question has a double benefit. It helps you get smarter and helps the other person get smarter at the same time.

[00:41:41] MB: That's great. You know, we ask guests at the end of every single interview, what's one practical action step that you'd recommend that listeners take to start taking action on what we talked about today and you may have already answered it with that question. I love how specific and actionable and direct that was.

[00:41:58] MBS: All this stuff can say theoretical, but it only becomes interesting if you're actually practicing it and trying it out and stumbling around a bit and just getting better question, by question of being curious.

[00:42:09] MB: Yeah. That's certainly true. That reminds me of something you said a second ago that is another great point, which is this idea that you don't have to be an expert at asking questions to just start. The way you build that muscle is by getting out there and plunging into the action and just asking whatever comes to mind and starting to get comfortable with asking a lot of questions.

[00:42:32] MBS: I’m going to really want to unweird the whole idea of coaching. If you're thinking yourself coaching is for special people, then we need to get over that fast, because be more coach-like is simply, can you stay curious a little bit longer, and anybody can do that. Coaching is not weird. It's just asking a good question and then shutting up and listening to the answer.

[00:42:51] MB: Almost reminds me of that anecdote about Abraham Lincoln, or there's a couple other ones, but the idea of if you had an hour to chop down a tree, you spend 55 minutes sharpening the axe.

[00:43:01] MBS: Yeah. Yeah. I think there's a quote similarly and Einstein going, “If I had to solve a problem, I’d spend 59 minutes trying to figure out what the real problem was and 1 minute trying to solve it.” The same insight.

[00:43:12] MB: Yup. Yeah, that's great. One other thing that I’m curious about and you hinted at this a couple times in the conversation as well, but when should we give advice?

[00:43:23] MBS: Well, it's situational, so it's hard to say. I will say that generically, it's less often than you'd think. You give advice after curiosity has run its course. Sometimes that's immediately. Somebody comes into your office and goes, “Hey, Michael. Where do I find the paper for the printer?” You don't really want to go, “How do you feel about the wood pulping industry?” Because they’d be like, “What the hell?” You're like, “It's just over there.” They're like, “Great. Thank you.”

I would say that anytime somebody shows up, you have full permission to give them advice, just stay curious a little bit longer. Ask questions. See if they know what the real challenge is. See if they've got ideas on how to solve this themselves and you'll find that there's a time where you're like, “Oh, this feels like the right time now for me to offer advice. It's just less than you think and it's later than you think.”

[00:44:16] MB: Yeah. That's a great point. It comes back to something you said earlier, which is not that you shouldn't advice and nothing necessarily inherently wrong with advice. It's really that our default mode, our default setting reverts to jumping in action too quickly, giving advice too rapidly and not being just a little bit more curious and a little bit more contemplative.

[00:44:39] MBS: Exactly.

[00:44:40] MB: Just making sure that we ask and answer this, what is one action step or concrete thing you would recommend for listeners to do to implement?

[00:44:50] MBS: Well, look. I would say that if this sounds interesting to you, then the most powerful steps to changing your behavior is start noticing your advice monster. I know that sounds a bit ethereal, but until you start noticing how quickly you leap in to start solving things and offering up ideas and opinions, then you are going to get seduced every time into thinking that it was a good idea for you to offer up ideas and opinions.

It's start noticing your advice monster. Like I say, you can go to theadvicetrap.com and do the questionnaire to figure out which advice monster is most real for you. That might make you more sensitive to what's going on. Do that or don't do it, but start noticing your advice monster. Because once you start seeing the pattern of bad behavior, you can then start thinking about how you might want to change that to be curious a bit longer.

[00:45:39] MB: Michael, where can listeners find more about you, your work and the book online?

[00:45:44] MBS: Oh, thanks for asking. The hub for me is mbs.works and you can find courses and access various bits and pieces and podcasts and the like from me. If you want to go deeper in the book, there's lots of free resources at theadvicetrap.com, the questionnaire, some video processes that people can test out and practice taming their advice monster on.

[00:46:05] MB: Well Michael, thank you so much for coming on the show, some great insights. I really learned a lot in this conversation. I love all of the really powerful questions that you shared.

[00:46:15] MBS: It’s a pleasure. Thanks for having me, Matt.

[00:46:16] MB: Thank you so much for listening to the Science of Success. We created this show to help you our listeners, master evidence-based growth. I love hearing from listeners. If you want to reach out, share your story, or just say hi, shoot me an e-mail. My e-mail is matt@successpodcast.com. That’s M-A-T-T@successpodcast.com. I’d love to hear from you and I read and respond to every single listener e-mail.

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July 16, 2020 /Lace Gilger
Influence & Communication
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