Austin Fabel 7/27/20 Austin Fabel 7/27/20

Bringing Out the Best Version of Yourself, Even During These Tough Times

We are living in extraordinary times. From worrying over the latest news alerts and social distancing rules to even panicking over toilet paper, the pandemic has greatly affected the way we live. What's more is that today's current events have taken a serious toll on our mental health, as there has been a surge in emotional distress emergency hotlines and online therapy sessions.

How Are You Really?

But this finding only portrays a small image of the pain that many of us are currently feeling. Before we all had to face the health crisis, we had big plans for the year — whether it was going after a promotion, opening a business, or traveling to a dream destination. However, for the benefit of our health and safety, we all had to put those plans on hold. And subsequently, we had to deal with the cloud of uncertainty that's looming over us.

So, this leads us to ask an important question, "How are you really doing?" Have you been watching more hours on Netflix than usual? Or, have you been treating yourself to a cookie or two? There's absolutely nothing wrong with giving yourself a break from all the chaos we're confronted with. But at the end of the day, you still owe it to yourself to try and become the best version of yourself.

Thriving Amidst These Tough Times

Now, you might be wondering if this is really the best time to start working on yourself. From the countless health scares to the imploding job market, the sheer magnitude of living during a pandemic is quite overwhelming, to say the least. While you have every right to feel every emotion inside you, remember that our struggles make us stronger when we allow them to.

More often than not, tough times often appear as a cue to press pause on life. In truth, however, it's all about perspective. Think about it this way — though you cannot control what's happening in the world, you can control the way you respond to them. You must make a choice for yourself: Are you going to let yourself go and give up? Or are you going to get up and make a conscious effort to succeed?

When we decide to face our fears, we allow our personal growth to flourish. But of course, this is easier said than done, as many of us are more stressed than ever before. Thankfully, anything is possible when you believe in yourself. And as we've previously shared here on the blog, the first step to self-belief is conquering your own world.

Stress is one of life's biggest mental hurdles. And if you want to jump over it, you must learn to understand how you manifest stress. Resilience coach L. Barbour explains that stress can be experienced in three main ways: fight, flight, and freeze. A "fight" response involves criticizing or blaming yourself. Meanwhile, a "flight" response means withdrawing or isolating yourself. Finally, a "freeze" response entails not being able to do anything except dwell on worrying thoughts. Identifying how you react to stress will not just help you learn how to better cope with any negative thoughts or feelings, but it will also help you build resilience — your ability to recover from any challenge in life.

Fostering resilience in your character is key for thriving during the toughest of times. It helps you remain strong amidst the many changes you're bound to face. Instead of simply giving up, resilience drives you to find solutions to your problems. Additionally, being resilient helps bring out the best in you by making you step out of your comfort zone. This is because it invites you to see life in new, value-adding perspectives. And ultimately, being resilient reminds you that you do indeed deserve to live out the best version of yourself.

Cultivating the Best Version of Yourself

Although things may seem bleak at the moment, you can (and should!) foster your growth. Remember: Persevering through today's struggles will lead to tomorrow's success. That said, here are some key ways to help cultivate the best version of yourself.

Bullet Journaling

As we said, it's not hard to get carried away with the state of the world. Thankfully, having a bullet journal will help you keep track of your schedule and ultimately, your progress. From creating task lists to writing diary entries, bullet journaling is a powerful way to promote your peace of mind.

Mindfulness Meditation

Did you know those breathing problems are one of the main physical symptoms of stress? To help you think clearer and feel lighter, you should consider learning mindfulness meditation. As a mental training practice, it helps you put things into perspective while lowering your stress levels. What's more, is that this technique can be practiced at any time and anywhere.

Positive Self-Talk

Sometimes, you are your own worst enemy. This happens when your thoughts belittle your capabilities, body image, and even your dreams. To this end, you must start practicing positive self-talk, which essentially means framing your inner dialogue to believe in yourself and treat yourself with kindness.

Written by Irish Carls for successpodcast.com

Austin Fabel 10/3/19 Austin Fabel 10/3/19

Bullet Journaling and How It Can Improve Your Productivity

Life is so hectic today that it is difficult for one to be organized. One of the best ways to be up to date and increase your productivity is by using a tool known as the bullet journal. What is a bullet journal?

Ryder Caroll, the digital product designer who founded the process, describes a bullet journal as a customizable and forgiving organization system. According to Caroll, you can use the tool as your to-do list, sketchbook, notebook, diary, or combination of all the above purposes. It is an alternative productivity tool that has emerged recently that helps you to stay organized. Whether you're a student or business person, bullet journaling is the place to start if you want to stay productive. It has four key elements:

A page number journal which helps in building an index,
A key of symbols used in the notebook such as a bullet, dash, or circles for different types of ideas that you want to put down,
An index of what is on each page of your journal which helps you to keep track of where you have written,
Collections - It is where your future logs, monthly logs, daily logs are found.

How then can a bullet journal improve your productivity?

Now that you have a brief overview of a Bullet Journal, here are some ways you can use it to boost your productivity at school, home, or work.

1. Tracking your goals

What is your personal or business goal? Most businesses have something they want to achieve. A bullet journal has a part for future log where you can write your personal or business goals. Some bullet journals have a vision board which is a page of goals. It includes yearly, monthly or daily objectives. Having your goal in that one place makes it easy to track the progress and also keeps you motivated to achieve them, thus improving your productivity.

2. It helps you plan ahead

Next, you can split the goals into daily and manageable tasks. These help you think ahead about what you should be doing instead of wasting time wondering where to start every morning. The journal gives you a platform where you can plan what to do next in a more productive manner. It will give you an overview of your daily to-do list, hence boosting progress and productivity.

3. It motivates you to complete tasks

Keeping a record of daily tasks gives you the motivation to do them. Instead of sitting at your desk wondering where to start or what tasks to complete first, you will be doing more productive tasks. The daily to-do list will make you work harder to complete all tasks assigned for that day. According to the Zeigarnik Effect, nothing feels more satisfying than crossing off your daily list. It makes the brain feel free when you call it a day. A bullet journal ensures your day is fully productive and no time goes to waste.

4. Helps you manage time

If you want to boost your productivity at work, home, or school, time management is an integral aspect. Luckily, with a bullet journal, you can plan tasks ahead of time, prioritize and execute them according to their importance and urgency. All tasks are then completed within their designated schedule. As a result, you will feel the urge to work harder to ensure all stuff is done as planned.

5. You can reflect on your Bullet Journal record

The daily record on the bullet journal is a great place to know what you have accomplished, what is working, and what needs improvement. Productivity is not about non-stop working. It also requires you to take a break for you to go through weekly or monthly records. Analyze the notes and determine which tasks and processes need improvement and which one needs to stop. John Hall in a 2019 article about productivity says that reflecting on today's tasks can make you more prepared for tomorrow's tasks.

6. Helps you feel better mentally and physically

According to a study at the University of Texas by James Pennebaker found that writing helps one to feel happier, less depressed, and less anxious. Aside from that, the study also found out that participants who wrote had better relationships, improved memory, and were more successful at work. Hence, if you want to be more productive, then write more. Write whatever closes your mind, and it will enhance your mental and physical health.

Conclusion

You now know what a bullet journal is and how it can improve your productivity. It is time you got one. Don't forget that bullet journaling requires commitment, and you will have to make writing in it a habit. It might take time to get used to offloading all your thoughts and plans on a piece of paper, but it will make you have happier days. You can plan your tasks, prioritize them accordingly, and execute them in a more organized way. Thus, load all your plans, thoughts, including the fun memories, there. You will be surprised how writing about them boosts your productivity.

Images Credit: https://bulletjournal.com/pages/learn

Author’s Bio:

Randolph Bunnell is an experienced copywriter and blogger. He has a deep interest in informational technologies and aims at becoming an expert in this niche. Randolph also has a medical background. In his blog Skin Answer, he provides tips regarding dealing with health problems, as well as explains how to avoid and treat common diseases.

Austin Fabel 8/15/19 Austin Fabel 8/15/19

The Self-Belief Manifesto: Your Guide to Enhancing Your Self-Belief and Living Fearlessly

There are some people who appear to be naturally confident -- as if confidence, or having a healthy sense of self-belief, is something you’re born with or that is bestowed upon you by the gods. However, this idea -- and the notion that Achilles lacked any flaws -- is simply false.

Self-belief is not the absence of vulnerability, nor is it a trait that we are born with -- it’s one we develop. The truth is that everyone has the capacity to improve their self-belief.

There are some people who appear to be naturally confident -- as if confidence, or having a healthy sense of self-belief, is something you’re born with or that is bestowed upon you by the gods.

Like the Greek hero Achilles -- renowned for his courage and invincibility -- some people assume that self-belief is gifted only to a fortunate few.

However, this idea -- and the notion that Achilles lacked any flaws -- is simply false. (After all, an Achilles’ Heel is a weakness in spite of overall strength).

Self-belief is not the absence of vulnerability, nor is it a trait that we are born with -- it’s one we develop.

The truth is that everyone has the capacity to improve their self-belief.

Science tells us that people with a strong sense of self-belief are not only admired, but they inspire confidence in others.

However, this is a double-edged sword.

As you’ll soon learn, those who lack a sense of self-belief find it difficult to become successful.

On the other hand, those with a healthy sense of self-belief are better able to face their fears head-on.

They seek out opportunities, including those with a high risk of failure, as a means to develop resilience -- the ability to bounce back quickly from rejection and adversity.

They understand that no matter what obstacles may come their way, they possess the strength of character and fortitude to move past them.

In other words, self-belief gives you the power to conquer the world. The trick, as you’ll come to find, is that developing healthy self-belief means first conquering your own world.

Even if you’ve never considered yourself to be a person with a huge sense of self-belief, as long as you’ve got the desire to improve, this guide is for you.

The Science of Success is committed to seeking out and developing evidence-based growth strategies.

Our mission is to unleash human potential. We do this by helping you understand your mind and utilize an abundance of tools to aid in attaining your goals.

In developing this guide, we’ve asked the experts, consulted academic literature, and compiled data from highly reputable resources to offer you a rich and yet very accessible guide on how you can start cultivating healthy self-belief and living fearlessly.

As with many great pursuits, the best place to start is the beginning. But if you need help in a specific area, click below to hop to it!

Defining Self-Belief

What is Self-Belief?

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” - Wayne Gretzky

Self-belief is the degree to which you think and feel your actions will achieve positive results. In other words, it’s your belief in yourself and your ability to succeed.

Think of self-belief as the roots of the tree. The more developed the roots are, the stronger the tree.

The more you work on increasing your self-belief (hence, strengthening your roots), the stronger your confidence in your ability to succeed will be.

But keep in mind, well-developed self-belief is not perfection. Nor is it predicated on your always being right.

Rather, self-belief is knowing that no matter how many shots you miss, eventually, one of your shots will go in.

In other words, eventually, if you continue to learn and grow, one of your attempts will result in a win.

Self-belief is a relationship of trust.

Like an innermost friend who gives you the courage to believe in yourself -- self belief is trusting in what you think is the best course of action for you.

Developing self-belief requires that you take ownership of your life and intentionally direct energy toward yourself and your abilities.

To have a healthy working relationship, you need to feel as though you can trust a business partner to carry out a specific task or have your company’s best interest in mind.

To have a healthy relationship with yourself, your dreams, and your goals, you need to have self-belief -- trusting yourself to go against the odds to manifest your potential.

Self-Belief vs. Self-Esteem vs. Self-Efficacy

It may come as a surprise, but self-belief is not the same as self-esteem.

And while both function to promote the common end goal of self-efficacy, self-belief differs from self-esteem in one important way.

Self-esteem is a personality trait that sums up a mixture of feelings about yourself.

When a person is concerned with building their self-esteem, the central focus is assessing their own individual worth (or worthiness).

A person with healthy self-esteem, for instance, may view themselves as a highly competent individual or display a positive outlook on life. Additional signs of healthy self-esteem can include:

An ability to say no, or set healthy boundaries
An ability to assess your own strengths
An ability to separate negative experiences from your overall outlook on life
An ability to express your needs

On the other hand, a person with unhealthy self-esteem may exhibit the following signs:

Lack of confidence
Feelings of shame, depression, or anxiety
Believing that others are better than you
Trouble with or an inability to accept positive feedback

Self-belief refers to the feeling that you can perform a given task successfully.

For example, you might have high self-esteem about yourself in general, but zero confidence in your ability to start your own business or pursue an advanced degree.

While self-esteem differs from self-belief, you cannot have healthy self-belief without healthy self-esteem. It’s like trying to go kayaking without an oar. Self-esteem is the kayak you need to travel on the water, but self-belief is the oar you need to accomplish the task of moving in a specific direction.

Without self-belief, you’ll float on the water, but you won’t travel very far.

The same is true for those who consider themselves individuals with high self-esteem who perform well within their comfort zones, but completely lack the confidence to pursue their dreams.

It’s imperative to develop healthy self-belief in order to create the life you want.

Science shows us that self-belief helps bring about more personal happiness. One reason for this is that growing self-belief is often evidence of a change of mindset, or more simply put, the development of a growth mindset (which we cover in greater detail in the sections to come).

For now, it's important to know that having healthy self-esteem is closely correlated with having healthy self-belief, and the belief that you control your outcomes in life.

When you believe in yourself and your abilities, you tend to act in accordance with your innermost desires, creativity, and inspiration rather than stagnating in your comfort zone.

The more you act in accordance with self-belief, creativity, and inquisitiveness rather than self-doubt, the more success you’re likely to experience in your life.

Of course, the more successful we are in achieving the things that are most important to us, the happier we become.

The main takeaway here is this: The better you feel about yourself (self-esteem), the easier it becomes to build the confidence required to attempt any given task (self-belief).

“Opportunities don't happen. You create them.” - Chris Grosser

What about self-efficacy? What is it and how does it differ from self-belief?

Self-efficacy and self-belief are very similar -- you could consider them first cousins. However, they differ from each other in one very important way.

Unlike self-esteem, which is a present-focused belief -- How am I feeling about myself right now? -- both self-belief and self-efficacy look to the future.

While self-belief is the measure of or degree to which you believe you can perform a given task successfully, -- for example, I believe in my ability to drive a car, or write a term paper, or organize my calendar -- self-efficacy reflects how strongly you believe you can influence your own future.

A person with a high sense of self-efficacy believes their abilities and successful attempts of tasks completed will inevitably chart out the course for what they hope to attain in the future. For example, a person with high self-efficacy may believe that if they continue to work hard at their job or make good choices with their finances, they increase the likelihood that they will earn that next promotion or build a life of financial freedom in the future.

In other words, self-efficacy is this sense that no matter what challenges may arise, you can (and will) rise to the occasion. You believe that you can leverage your abilities to create a better future.

“When your ‘why’ has heart, your ‘how’ gets legs.” - Jon Vroman

Self-efficacy gives your self-belief the legs it needs to achieve your dreams because it determines your capability to handle and navigate future situations.

You can think of self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-belief as three parts of a trinity -- in order to understand confidence, how to attain it, and how to leverage it in service of the life you want to live, you need to have a balance of each.

How Much Self-Belief is Enough?

In Greek mythology, Icarus and his father Daedalus attempt to escape Crete by wings fashioned out of wax and feathers.

Icarus’s father warns him not to fly too high nor too low: the sea’s dampness would clog his wings and the sun’s heat would melt them.

Icarus did not heed his father’s warning and instead chose to fly as high as he could, ascending toward the sun.

As a result, the sun melted his wings and Icarus tumbled out of the sky and drowned in the sea.

This myth -- which sparked the idiom “Don’t fly too close to the sun” -- is a classic lesson about what happens when we’re overconfident.

Having too much or too little self-belief can negatively impact your ability to succeed.

When you have too much self-belief, that is, self-belief that isn’t grounded in lived experience or genuine self-awareness, you can come off as cocky and stumble into unforeseen consequences or obstacles resulting from overestimating your own abilities.

You can fail to meet deadlines because you’ve underestimated the time and effort completing the work requires.

On the other hand, too little self-belief can prevent you from seizing opportunities -- in work, your social life, your personal development, etc.

The key is to strike a healthy balance between having too much or too little, arriving at a healthy sense of self-belief that’s just right -- that’s a reflection of your experience and leaves room for developing self-awareness.

When we project the right amount of self-belief, we not only convey our abilities (and limitations) with humility and grace, but we gain credibility, make a good lasting impression, and find healthy ways to deal with the challenges we face.

This of course is easier said than done.

In the sections to come, we reference self-belief experts who offer useful tips about how to discover and maintain the right balance between healthy self-belief and an over-inflated sense of confidence.

Why You Need Healthy Self-Belief

Self-belief is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives.

In order to manifest our goals and become successful, it’s imperative that we cultivate healthy self-belief.

How Your Self-Belief Comes Off to Others

Your level of self-belief shows itself in many ways: how you speak, what you say, how you carry yourself, what you wear -- the list goes on and on.

For this reason, it’s important to distinguish between healthy self-belief and unhealthy self-belief, and the behaviors associated with different ends of the self-belief spectrum.

We’ve created a portrait of healthy self-belief behaviors and unhealthy self-belief behaviors for your review.

Action Item: See if you can recognize any of these behaviors in yourself or in others around you.

As you can deduce from these self-belief binaries, those who exhibit unhealthy self-belief can also be self-destructive.

Their behaviors often manifest themselves as negativity, which can be off putting to others, blocking everyone’s ability to cooperate and succeed.

On the other hand, people with healthy self-belief are generally more positive -- they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they endeavor to experience the richness of what their lives have the capacity to be.

Like most concepts in psychology, self-belief falls on a spectrum -- meaning no one embodies perfect self-belief in all areas of their lives, nor does anyone escape the trap of the occasional lack of self-belief when they need it most.

All of us fall somewhere in between. Whether a person tends toward overconfidence or underconfidence largely depends on where they are in their lives, relationships, and career trajectories.

The point here is to be aware of behaviors associated with healthy and unhealthy self-belief and develop a sense of self-awareness and self-honesty that will equip us with the tools needed to enhance our self-belief.

Cultivating a healthy self-belief not only inspires confidence, but it enables us to seek and harness opportunities in the future.

What Science Tells Us About Self-Belief: Here’s What You Need to Know

The Brain that Believes in Itself

Medievalists believed that mathematics was a form of higher-order thinking and the starting point to unlocking the mysteries of the universe. Likewise, self-belief is the starting point through which all other personal and professional endeavors are made possible. It’s the key to living fearlessly.

Self-belief is not only the spirit behind your ability to successfully accomplish your goals, but is a real biological phenomenon measurable through brain activity.

A new study published in the journal Neuron supports this by suggesting that there are regions of the brain that track one’s self-belief and may actually be the key to unlocking our greatest potential.

As we know, decision-making is a part of life. We are constantly evaluating our options and making decisions based on the information we have available.

The process we undergo to make such decisions says a lot about our level of self-belief.

Researchers at the Wellcome Trust Centre for Neuroimaging at University College London have pinpointed the specific areas of the brain that interact to compute both the value of the choices we have in front of us and our confidence in those choices, giving us the ability to know what we want.

Where does our brain show self-belief activity?

Prior studies have shown that a region at the front of the brain, the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, is important for working out the value of various options when we are making a decision.

Researchers say this study shows that the interaction between this area of the brain and a nearby area reflects participants’ ability to access and report their level of self-belief in their choices.

One question seeping through the academic literature, and of course what we want to know for ourselves, is Can we train our brains to improve our self-belief?

Neuroscientist Stacie Grossman Bloom thinks so. Bloom has dedicated her research to understanding how self-belief can be developed.

In a recent interview, Grossman Bloom shared that all of our personality traits, including self-belief, live in our brain.

She says, “Our brains are made up of specialized cells called neurons and those neurons communicate with each other via synapses, the connections between them. We are creating and adjusting our synaptic connections all the time. Every time we learn or experience something, those incidents and the choices we make shape us. Sometimes that learning becomes reinforced and it becomes ‘hard coded’ as part of who we are.”

Think of the brain as a large city, bustling with energy and electricity. The neurons are like cars and trucks traveling at various speeds, carrying passengers (or messages) safely across highways (or synapses).

Every time we learn something new, our brain (or city) develops new infrastructures or municipal improvements, such as buildings or parks, and creates new pathways by constructing viaducts, highways, and bridges, to streamline the movement of new thoughts throughout the city.

Why does this happen?

Because like the purposeful development of a city, our brains are driven by the need to create law, order, and efficiency.

Our brain not only governs our bodily functions, but also helps to manage the development of our mindset, including our self-belief and our ability to improve it.

When Grossman Bloom was asked what happens when we have a healthy self-belief, she responded, “We know from brain imaging studies that when we are thinking positively, we activate what we call ‘the value areas’ of the brain in regions including the … prefrontal cortex. When we feel confident, we engage circuits involved in reward and pleasure and we literally feel good. And not only do we feel good, but those around us feel good too. [Healthy self-belief] leads others to be more engaged with you, be it your troops, your patients, your clients, colleagues, kids, or friends.”

Self-belief is not some personality quirk resulting from esoteric origins. It’s truly a complex mental state that’s supported by multiple regions of the brain.

The good news for you is that if you want to increase your self-belief, you can do so.

Like any muscle in your body, you have to exercise the self-belief parts of your brain to help it grow and become more durable.

If you commit to this, science says your brain will take care of the rest.

How Healthy Self-Belief Plays a Role in Your Hierarchy of Needs

If you’ve ever heard the term hierarchy of needs, then whether you knew it or not, you’ve more than likely pondered the theories of 20th century psychologist Abraham Maslow.

Maslow, one of the founders of humanistic psychology, sought to understand the human condition in a way that was not explained by psychosis or neurosis.

In other words, Maslow wanted to understand what’s right with you, instead of what’s wrong with you.

He was curious about what positive mental health looked like and how to cultivate a positive sense of self.

In fact, Maslow’s the man who coined the term self-actualization.

In his book Motivation and Personality, he defines self-actualization in four parts:

A fuller knowledge of, and acceptance of, the person’s intrinsic nature
Ongoing actualization of potentials, capacities, and talents
An unceasing trend toward unity, integration, or synergy within a person
Fulfillment of a mission (a call, fate, destiny, or vocation)

In a nutshell, think of self-actualization as the actual becoming of what one has the potential to be. He says, “[a] musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately happy.”

In addition to all the proven benefits of self-esteem and self-belief, like friendship, wisdom, or love, self-actualization has intrinsic value. Maslow argued that it is good for its own sake and not simply for the sake of something else.

From defining self-actualization, Maslow shares on what’s needed to reach self-actualization.

So what are the pillars or foundation of self-actualization?

Maslow interviewed many study participants (including his patients), and found that before one could reach self-actualization, there was a hierarchy of needs that must be satisfied.

Maslow wanted to distinguish between our growth needs (those that lead to self-actualization) and our psychological and basic needs.

He indicates that:

Human beings are motivated by a hierarchy of needs.
Needs are organized in a hierarchy according to which more basic needs must be more or less met prior to higher needs.
The order in which needs must be met is not rigid but instead remains flexible and is based on external circumstances and individual differences.
Most behavior is multi-motivated, that is, simultaneously determined by our pursuit of more than one basic need.

In his research, Maslow found that when these needs aren't being met, we feel something is missing from our lives, leading us to experience tension and exhibit neurotic behavior.

Without a roof over our heads, for example, our need for security is threatened.

The same can be said about our need to develop our self-belief in order to self-actualize.

When we operate from a place of unhealthy self-belief, we are tacitly expressing a deficiency in our basic needs.

It’s like crawling before you walk -- we need to first believe in ourselves if we hope to actualize our potential and grow.

As we’ve mentioned before, one cannot expect to cultivate healthy self-belief without also having healthy self-esteem.

And without self-belief and self-esteem, Maslow theorized that a person won’t be able to self-actualize.

“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.” - Abraham Maslow

Until we fulfill our basic needs, gratifying them dominates our attention.

However, once we meet them, we can shift more of our attention to growth needs (such as pursuing self-actualization).

Speaking of growth...

Self-Belief and the Importance of a Growth Mindset

Have you ever heard someone say, “I am who I am and I can’t change,” or “We’ve always done it this way,” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?

If so, this is an example of a person who thinks with a fixed mindset.

Science tells us that this mode of thinking is false.

Not only can we change, but more importantly, we can grow.

Developing a growth mindset is arguably one of the most crucial and key elements of building healthy self-belief.

In her bestselling book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck explores people’s beliefs about their most basic abilities and talents.

One of her key learnings is that mindsets are largely divided into two camps: fixed mindsets and growth mindsets.

Dr. Dweck and her team of researchers conducted a study in which they attempted to see if a mindset could be taught.

They worked with over 168,000 students in an attempt to teach them to have growth mindsets.

For example, if a student got a failing grade on an assignment, instead of registering that attempt as a failure, they were challenged to see it as an opportunity to identify areas for improvement.

This helped the students rise above feeling discouraged and helpless to change their future outcomes.

Dr. Dweck and her colleagues found that participants who learned this growth mindset had a greater desire to challenge themselves and grow.

Understandably, this desire to grow often led them to do better in school, even after an instance of “failure.”

Dr. Dweck shares that when people are in a fixed mindset, they believe their basic abilities, talents, personal attributes, and personalities are fixed.

They are unable to grow and improve in areas where they are naturally weak and they are stuck where they are.

A person with a fixed mindset, for example, may value intelligence but believe that their intelligence “is what it is.”

This person believes that no matter what they do, they will only be able to learn so much and be so smart.

As such, when presented with opportunities to advance, a person with a fixed mindset may deny the chance, afraid of being exposed as “not smart enough.”

Alternatively, someone with a fixed mindset may pretend not to care or even self-sabotage to avoid facing their own failures or lack of proficiency in areas where they could actually improve.

Dr. Dweck describes a fixed mindset as a built-in fear-based system with a touch of arrogance.

People who have fixed mindsets might feel as though even though there’s a limit or a “cap” on what they can do, process, or accomplish; they also may experience an inflated sense of self-importance as compared to others who they perceive don’t measure up to them.

Dr. Dweck notes that neuroscience research shows that when people are in a fixed mindset, the part of their brain that processes errors is hardly active -- they are just turning away from the error as quickly as possible.

She explains that a fixed mindset is what prevents so many promising individuals from ever fulfilling their potential.

A fixed mindset leads to insecurity and a denigrated sense of self-belief.

Contrastingly, when a person has a growth mindset, they believe that while people differ in their talents, abilities, and personal qualities, that doesn’t mean that you cannot continue to grow and strengthen yourself in areas where you’re currently less than confident.

In other words, those with growth mindsets know everyone has the ability to develop.

The good news for those of us looking to manifest and grow our self-belief is that changing our mindsets is not only possible: It’s also not as difficult as you might think.

Dr. Dweck advises us to keep pushing our limits and expanding our knowledge.

She also recommends you receive lots of honest and candid feedback in addition to seeking mentoring from others.

When you have a growth mindset, you operate from a place where you strive to push out of your comfort zone, and if you make mistakes, that’s okay, you try as best you can to learn from them.

Dr. Dweck shares that if you see someone who’s excelling compared to you, you can begin developing your growth mindset (even through an experience of jealousy!) by asking how that person got there and What can they teach me?

“We like to think of our champions and idols as superheroes who were born different from us. We don’t like to think of them as relatively ordinary people who made themselves extraordinary.” - Carol S. Dweck

People who’ve cultivated growth mindsets naturally find opportunities to become smarter, to grow, and to maintain momentum around their learning processes.

While setbacks are never easy, no matter the mindset you’ve cultivated, a person with a growth mindset doesn’t register anything as either “inevitable” or “never.”

Rather, they recognize that a setback means “not yet,” and that setbacks are input we can learn from and use to ensure that we can adapt and come back stronger and more knowledgeable next time.

For those of you who are looking to change your fixed mindset or continuing to evolve in your growth mindset, there are a few easy steps you can take to get started!

Step One: Identify your fixed-mindset persona.

Dr. Dweck notes that there’s a person -- sort of like an inner voice -- who lives inside you and dissuades you from doing anything outside of your comfort zone.

You know the voice, the one that says, “What are you doing? You can’t do this! You are going to mess this up. You don’t have what it takes.”

First, Dr. Dweck says this person living inside of you is, ironically, not trying to harm you. Rather, their goal is to keep you safe.

That’s right. Your fixed mindset is actually trying to protect you -- or your ego -- to keep you from being hurt or disappointed.

When your ego feels threatened, it sounds the alarm, warning you not to quit your job and start a business or go back to school, or whatever the catalyst is that’s driving you out of the realm that you know and feel comfortable in.

The downside to this is that in its attempts to protect you, this voice encourages stagnation and creates false ideologies that can eventually give way to arrogance.

The voice, or persona, keeps you in a state that prevents your ability to grow optimally.

Dr. Dweck encourages you to identify your persona.

Step Two: Name your fixed-mindset persona.

Name it. Your persona can have a completely made up name, possibly it’s a riff off the name of a teacher you once had or a character from a book or a movie.

By giving your persona a name and knowing its story, it is easier for you to recognize it when it rears its head from behind the curtain.

Once we’ve identified and named our fixed mindsets, we can begin to combat them.

Step Three: Don’t ignore it.

That’s right. That voice in your head that tries to keep you in your comfort should not be ignored.

Instead, welcome it.

But wait, isn’t this an article about overcoming that voice and embracing growth even if it may be temporarily painful?

Of course it is!

And embracing that growth means acknowledging the fears, anxieties, and emotions that arise when you are faced with uncertainty.

Have a conversation with that part of yourself and engage it.

Say to that persona, “Okay Jesse, (that’s our persona’s name) I hear you, again, and I recognize that these feelings you’re presenting are real and there’s a reason for them... but let’s see what we can learn from this scenario and move on together. Can I count on you to collaborate?”

Dr. Dweck acknowledges that the idea of talking to yourself may seem silly, and it may be… a little. But it’s powerful in practice as you’ll soon learn

The bottom line is, we carry multiple selves or alter egos in various contexts.

You don’t build just one ego to serve you throughout your entire life; you create several to help you rise to perform in diverse contexts.

Dr. Dweck advises you to make friends with the personas associated with different self states and bring them on board with your growth mindset goals in mind.

She says when you feel anxious or threatened, it often means Jesse is there. Her advice: Listen to Jesse, acknowledge Jesse. However, once you’ve acknowledged Jesse and the reasons for the emotions you’re experiencing, treat them as input rather than justification for quitting.

“This is something I know for a fact: You have to work hardest for the things you love most.” - Carol S. Dweck

Cultivating Self-Belief Through Rejection Therapy

Imagine making a sales call and the person on the other end hangs up on you mid-sentence, or you make a pitch to your boss about how to improve operational efficiency and your request is denied, or you ask that extremely attractive and alluring person out on a date and they turn you down.

Rejection doesn’t feel great.

And some people spend their whole lives trying to avoid it.

The unfortunate part is that fear of rejection has killed more dreams and kept some people from living up to their greatest potential than any other substance or emotional state.

No matter where you fall on the self-belief spectrum, dealing with rejection can be painful and overcoming that fear can be a huge challenge.

What if we told you that rejection -- and your ability to navigate it and persevere in spite of it -- is absolutely essential for creating healthy self-belief?

That may come as a shock, but in order to overcome your fear of something you must be exposed to it. Rejection is no exception.

The same thing goes for a fear of public speaking, making sales calls, talking to members of the opposite sex, anything.

One of the best methods to overcome your fear of rejection is by leveraging the tenets of rejection therapy.

Jia Jiang, an entrepreneur, blogger, TED speaker, and author, learned this process and put his own spin on it to help him overcome his fear of rejection.

Like most of us, Jia Jiang had dreams -- specifically, he dreamed of becoming his own boss. However, Jia Jiang was terrified of rejection.

One day, he decided that he was done being afraid and opted to take rejection head-on.

He challenged himself to undergo 100 days of rejection.

He decided to be very intentional during this time and actually seek out opportunities to be rejected. He also filmed himself during the process and kept a video log.

One day, he asked a man to borrow $100. And quite naturally, the man asked him why, and when Jia Jiang couldn’t think of a response, the man rejected his requested.

Overwhelmed, scared, and embarrassed, Jia Jiang got out of there as soon as he could.

Later that night, when he revisited the footage, he saw that while he was riddled with fear, the man wasn’t fearful, nor menacing. In fact, he invited him to explain himself.

This was an eye-opening experience for Jiang.

He realized that most situations with high risk of rejection are not always life or death. While fear paints a grim picture in our minds, there truly exists a “yes” somewhere out there.

From that moment on, he decided that wouldn’t run. Instead, he would stay and see the process through.

In his book, Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection, Jia Jiang uncovered several important lessons on the value of rejection.

We’ve outlined 25 important lessons for you to review and consider.

We must rethink rejection.

Lesson (1): Rejection is human.

It usually involves two sides: the rejector (the person doing the rejecting) and rejectee (the person receiving the rejecting). Jia Jiang believes rejection often says more about the rejector than the rejectee.
A rejection should never be thought of as a universal truth.

Lesson (2): Rejection is an opinion.

Rejections are often heavily influenced by historical context, cultural differences, and psychological factors.
And as such, there is no universal rejection or acceptance.

Lesson (3): Rejection has a number.

In essence, rejection is a numbers game. If a rejectee goes through enough rejections, a “no” could turn into a “yes.”

We must learn how to take a “No.”

Lesson (4): Ask Why before Goodbye.

While it may be scary, Jia Jiang encourages us to sustain conversations even after rejection.
If you see an impending rejection on the horizon, asking “why” could reveal the underlying reason for rejection and present an opportunity to overcome the issue.

Lesson (5): It’s fine to retreat, but don’t run.

By retreating to a lessor request, you actually increase the chances of landing a “yes.”

Lesson (6): Avoid contention or argumentation.

Never argue. Instead, try to collaborate with the other person.

***Lesson (7):* *If at first you don’t succeed, then Jia Jiang says to “switch up, but don’t give up.”***

Step back and make the request to a different person, in a different environment, or under a different circumstance.

We should be sure to position ourselves for “Yes.”

Lesson (8): Give your “why.”

Jia Jiang says that by explaining your reason for a request, you will increase your chances of a possible acceptance. (Note: This will serve you in regard to any request you put out in your life).

Lesson (9): Start with “I.”

By starting with “I” the requestor has much more authentic control of the request.
For example, you can start your statement as such: “Hello. I am the sole proprietor of Kids Across the Globe Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to caring for homeless children from 0 to 18. I am raising fundraising to support our operations so that we may continue to carry forth our mission.”
Jia Jiang says never pretend to think the other person’s interested without genuinely knowing them.

Lesson (10): Acknowledge your doubts.

By admitting obvious and possible objections before the other person gets to them, you can increase trust levels between yourself and the other party.

Lesson (11): Plan to target your audience.

Jia Jiang says it’s important to choose a receptive audience who will enhance your chances of being accepted.

As the rejector, we must learn to give a “No.”

Lesson (12): Jia Jiang says when giving a no, we must first exercise patience and have respect.

It’s important to deliver the message with the right attitude. This will go a long way and help to soften the blow of a rejection.
We should never belittle the rejectee.

Lesson (13): Learn to be direct.

Don’t beat around the bush. If you’re rejecting a request, present the reason for the rejection.
It’s best to be direct and forward. Jia Jiang says to avoid long, convoluted explanations.

Lesson (14): Always Offer Alternatives

As we’ve discussed, rejection is hard -- for both the rejector and the rejectee. For some, rejection leads to discouragement. Jia Jiang encourages you to offer alternatives; simple concessions can make the other person a fan even in rejection.

We should always try to find an upside.

Lesson (15): Work on improving your motivation.

Rejection can be used as one of the strongest motivations to fuel someone’s fire for achievement. Jia Jiang says to use your rejection as a means to fuel your motivation and relentlessness.

Lesson (16): Focus on your Self-improvement.

If we look at a rejection from an objective standpoint -- removing emotional sentiments -- we can use it as an effective means to improve an idea or product.

Lesson (17): It’s important to monitor and consider your sense of “Worthiness.”

In this guide, we’ve discussed a lot about how self-esteem is tied into self-belief. Rejection, if left unchecked, can severely affect how we feel about ourselves, our confidence levels, and our sense of worthiness.

Lesson (18): However, rejection is also a form of character-building.

By seeking rejection in tough environments, Jia Jiang says you can build mental toughness to achieve greater goals.

We should always try to find meaning.

Lesson (19): Find empathy.

All rejections are shared by many. Overcoming a rejection allows us to have empathy and understanding for others.

Lesson (20): Find value.

Jia Jiang says that repeated rejections can serve as measuring stick for one’s resolve and belief. In other words, the value of rejection is that it tests your resiliency and helps desensitize you to the next rejection.

Lesson (21): Find a mission.

Jia Jiang says sometimes the most brutal rejections signal a new beginning and mission for the rejectee.

We should always try to find freedom.

Lesson (22): We have the freedom to ask.

We often deprive ourselves of the freedom to ask for what we want in fear of rejection and judgement.
Amazing things often happen if we only take the first step.

Lesson (23): We have the freedom to accept ourselves.

Our inner need for approval can force us to constantly look for acceptance from others.
The people we need acceptance from the most are ourselves.

We should always try to find our power.

Lesson (24): We should practice detachment from results.

Lesson (25): By focusing on controllable factors like our efforts and actions and detaching ourselves from uncontrollable outcomes, such as acceptance and rejection, we can achieve greater success in the long run.

If there’s one overarching point from all of this, it’s this -- you’re never going to cure your fear of rejection by running away from it. To overcome your fear of rejection, you must embrace it, desensitize yourself to it, and meet it head-on.

Rejection therapy desensitized Jia Jiang to fear of rejection. Experiencing rejection and working through it became a sort of game.

When he was rejected, he would be sure to stay engaged, make jokes, and negotiate, but more importantly, to have fun.

He would no longer freeze up and enter fight-or-flight mode when someone told him no.

In essence, rejection therapy taught Jia Jiang to live fearlessly.

Another added benefit of his100 Days of Rejection was learning how to implement what Jia Jiang calls “the graceful no.”

“Is your dream bigger than your rejections? If it is, maybe it's time to keep going, instead of giving up” - Jia Jiang, Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection

Some of us (well, most of us) aren’t comfortable saying no.

It’s always awkward when someone asks you to either do something or share something and you have to tell them you aren’t willing or able to do so.

However, no is perhaps the most important word in your vocabulary.

Jia Jiang observes that by embracing rejection, you’re better equipped not only to stomach being told no, but to actually say it for yourself. In his efforts to acclimate to being declined by others, he also found a graceful way to say no for himself.

One strategy? Offer alternatives -- give the other person a “yes” in some creative way.

By telling someone you cannot do A but would be happy to do B, you present alternatives as a win for the other party.

This can be incredibly powerful as it helps cushion the blow to another person’s ego while protecting your time and priorities.

In essence, rejection therapy is largely about challenging yourself to operate outside of your comfort zone. In Jia Jiang’s own words, “everything amazing and beautiful happens [when you’re operating] outside of your comfort zone.”

He goes on to say that learning to embrace rejection is not about yes or collecting “yesses”for sport.

It’s about exploring and creating something for yourself and, ultimately, for others.

So how does rejection therapy relate to the idea of self-belief?

Remember, self-belief is all about the degree to which you think and feel your actions will achieve positive results.

The number one impediment to incorporating healthy self-belief into your everyday life is fear.

Rejection therapy reduces your fear by habituating and desensitizing you to it.

Once the constraints of fear are removed, you’re better positioned not only to improve your self-belief, but to pursue your dreams and live your life fearlessly.

Action Item: For those of you who want to start living fearlessly and do some desensitizing around your fear of rejection, Jia Jiang advises that you start small. The next time you’re in public, give a stranger a high five, dance awkwardly in a public space, ask a beautiful stranger out on a date. As you start raking in the rejections, keep a note for yourself and make a game out of it.

And most importantly, have fun!

How You Can Develop Healthy Self-Belief with these 15 Action Items

Now that you have a better understanding of what it means to have healthy self-belief, how to distinguish between healthy self-belief and inadequate or overinflated self-belief, and what science has to say on the matter, it’s time to apply what you’ve learned.

Fortunately, all the hard work has been done for you.

You can rest easy knowing that we’ve analyzed our findings and compiled our results into 15 easy-to-digest action items you can start implementing right now.

We invite you to reflect on your own level of self-belief and adopt the action items that will serve your unique needs in terms of actualizing your self-belief potential.

Without further ado, here’s your to-do list for improving your self-belief and beginning to live fearlessly.

1. Visualize Yourself as You Want to Be

According to experts, visualization for the sake of cultivating self-belief involves seeing yourself in a state that you’re proud of.

Oftentimes, when we struggle with inadequate self-belief, we have a poor perception of ourselves.

Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself achieving your goals.

However, science has proven that visualizing the result is not enough.

Visualize yourself putting in the work, doing what needs to be done, and then overcoming every obstacle to ultimately enjoy the rewards!

2. Affirm Yourself

As reflective beings, we have a tendency to behave in accordance with our own self-image.

Research tells us that one trick to improving your self-belief is to change how you view yourself.

Affirmations are the perfect way to do this.

Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we can say to ourselves.

To get our brains to accept them, we must say them out loud.

Practice affirming your sense of self.

For example, if you’re unhappy with something about your body, instead of condemning or shaming, show compassion. Stand in front of a mirror and affirm yourself, “I have the most beautiful smile,” or “I may not be where I want to be but I’m taking the right steps and will get there eventually!”

3. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

“You must do the thing [everyday] you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

As we mentioned above, Jia Jiang has become famous for recording his experience of “busting fear” by purposefully making crazy requests of people in order to experience 100 Days of Rejection.

Whether you arrange for your own 100 Days of Rejection or not, you can do something that scares you every day and process each experience in a way that allows you to gain confidence from it.

Whatever the outcome, you will see your self-belief soar.

4. Befriend Your Inner Critic

Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the voice of the inner critic.

If you struggle with low self-belief, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive.

Dr. Carol Dweck teaches that the inner critic rises up to protect us, but that overprotection excuses stagnation.

Don’t shut your inner critic out. Instead, befriend it and give it a name.

When your inner critic emerges from the shadows, acknowledge it, dialogue with it, and make new agreements to embrace the risk and fear together.

5. Set Yourself Up to Win

In the hit American television show American Gods, Mr. Wednesday (spoiler alert: also known as Odin) says to the main character, “rigged games are the easiest to win.”

Our experts seem to agree!

Too many people are discouraged about their abilities because they set goals that are too difficult to achieve.

One way to overcome this is to start by setting small goals that you can win easily.

Create your own version of a rigged game where you give yourself opportunities for small wins.

Once you have built a stream of successes that makes you feel good about yourself, you can then move on to pursuing more challenging goals.

6. Care for Yourself

Healthy self-belief depends on a combination of good physical health, emotional health, and social health.

It is hard to feel good about yourself if you hate your physique or constantly have low energy.

Make time for quality exercise, eating, and sleep.

In addition, dress the way you want to feel.

You’ve heard the saying “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

There’s a reason why those who dress the part stand a better chance of achieving their goals.

That reason is called enclothed cognition.

In a nutshell, what we wear is an implicit, non-verbal way of expressing our unique personalities and ambitions.

Science says that you can build your self-belief by making the effort to look after your own needs, including your needs for self-expression and recognition.

7. Create Personal Boundaries

One of the gifts of desensitizing yourself to the fear of rejection and improving your self-belief is learning to say no.

In order to cultivate healthy self-belief, it’s imperative to teach others to respect your personal boundaries.

If necessary, take classes, such as those offered by Dr. Aziz Gazipura’s Confidence University, on how to be more assertive so you can learn to ask for what you want.

The more control you have over your own life and outlook, the greater your momentum will be for improving your self-belief.

8. Shift to a Growth Mindset

People with low self-esteem and unhealthy self-belief see others as better or more deserving than themselves.

This perception is false.

Instead of accepting this worldview, start taking steps to change your mindset.

Come to a place where you know that others are not implicitly more or less deserving than you, and explore the idea that all of your personality traits can either be improved upon or changed entirely.

9. When All Else Fails, Create a Great List

Life is full of challenges.

There are times when it's difficult to maintain healthy self-belief.

In those moments, our experts advise you to sit down and make one list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for and another of all the things you are proud of accomplishing.

Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, the wall by your desk, or your bathroom mirror -- somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and all the evidence you’ve amassed for your ability to succeed.

In those moments where you feel your self-belief dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself be inspired all over again.

10. Rid Yourself Of Negativity

Sometimes, the people closest to us can discourage us the most.

Research calls on us to evaluate our inner circle. It's important to establish healthy boundaries and even consider taking a temporary break or separating entirely from the Debbie Downers and Negative Neds in our lives.

When you are working on improving your self-belief, it's important to surround yourself with positive motivators, mentors, and those who share in your goals.

You must be mindful of your environments, how they make you feel, and who’s contributing to the synergy (or mounting frustration) you’re experiencing on a regular basis.

If you find that your relationships or environments aren’t supporting you in caring for yourself, it’s time to get creative about solutions and making change

Of course, anyone who’s tried to break off an unhealthy relationship (personal or professional), knows this can be extremely challenging. To help you out, here are some tips on dealing with negative relationships.

11. Get Things Done

As we’ve discussed, healthy self-belief is enhanced by measurable accomplishment.

If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself.

Accomplishing goals begins with your day-to-day. What do you need to accomplish today and every day this week, month, or year to help you accomplish your goal?

If you accomplish the goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin meeting weekly and monthly goals, which brings you in range of your bi-annual and annual goals, whatever those may be.

Keep in mind that progress is incremental, and big changes do not happen overnight, but the little successes can provide you with surprising energy and motivation.

12. Monitor Your Progress

The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is to break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress.

Whether you're trying to get promoted, get a better job, get into graduate school, change careers, eat healthier, or lose 10 pounds, the best way to know if you're making progress is to monitor it.

Try to quantify your accomplishments: the number of applications you're submitting to jobs or graduate schools, what you're eating and how much you're exercising, and so on. Write down whatever your goal or goals may be.

Actively monitoring your progress will help you stay on course, and you will build healthy self-belief as you see your achievements in real time.

13. Do the Right Thing

Most people who embody healthy self-belief live by a value system and make their decisions based on that value system -- even when it's hard and uncomfortable. Living by a value system may even involve immediate self-sacrifice in the interest of the greater good.

Your actions and your decisions define your character, and living in accordance with the character you want to embody furthers self-belief.

Dr. Michael Gervais has a scientifically proven way of helping people build self-belief through his Finding Your Best course.

He recommends that you cultivate a personal philosophy.

Gervais says, “Your personal philosophy serves as a compass to align your thoughts, words, and actions. It expresses your basic beliefs and values. Your personal philosophy guides every decision you make, influences the friends you choose, the love you find, the purchases you make, jobs you inhabit, where you live in the world, the way you feel about yourself, and the possibilities you hold for yourself.”

Floundering in a high-stakes moment of uncertainty? Ask yourself what the best version of yourself -- the one you’re still aspiring to be -- would do and do it.

14. Avoid Ruminating On What Others Think

There are going to be people who will tell you you cannot accomplish your goals.

Whether it is rejection from employers, schools, or just negative feedback from friends or family, people will try to tell you your goal is too big, that you're not ready, that you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc. Do not put your belief in them.

Even if it may seem that the odds are stacked against you, there’s evidence everywhere that individual people are changing the world in big ways every day.

Part of improving your self-belief and self-efficacy is believing that you can improve, you can achieve.

If there’s something you want to do, set your mind to it, and see where doing it takes you!

Lastly, but certainly not least…

15. Do More Of What Makes You Happy

Whatever it is that you love doing in your spare time -- whether it’s getting outside and hiking or curling up with a blanket and a mystery novel -- our experts advise you to create a space for it and do more of it.

In order to be the best version of yourself, you must enrich your life with the things that recharge and inspire you.

Want More? Additional Resources on How to Improve Your Self-Belief

50 Books on Confidence and Self-Belief

Below you’ll find an unordered list of 50 books on confidence and self-belief to add to your library.

Action Item: Did you know about 24 percent of American adults haven't read a book in the last year? Challenge yourself to read at least 12 books -- that’s one book a month -- from this list, and become one of the most well-read persons on the topic of confidence and self-belief. If you read all 50 books, you’ll become a confidence and self-belief master who understands the pivotal points of leading experts.

Confidence University

Are you looking for an online course experience on confidence and self-belief?

Well, look no further. Dr. Aziz, formerly known as the Confidence Expert, has invested more than 15 years of rigorous study a practitioner experience to helping students from all over the world increase their confidence so they can live fearlessly.

He says, “Confidence is a skill that anyone can learn. It’s like a math formula. If you do the steps, you will gain confidence.”

He designed Confidence University -- a proven system to help you live life on your own terms -- tailored to your specific self-belief needs.

Take the next step in your personal and professional life by enrolling in his course today.

Podcasts on Self-Belief

Your Secret Weapon to Becoming Fearless with Jia Jiang

Stop Being Afraid To Be YOU - The Power of Bold Authenticity with Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Embracing Discomfort with Matt Bodnar

Research Reveals How You Can Create The Mindset of a Champion with Dr. Carol Dweck

Command Your Focus and Attention on What Really Matters with Chris Bailey

Your Secret to Feeling Powerful In Life's Toughest Moments with Dr. Amy Cuddy

How You Can Be More Confident In Tough Situations, Conflicts, and Negotiations with Kwame Christian

You Can Become More Creative With This Unique Strategy Used By American Spies with Beth Comstock

Your Ultimate Guide to Performing Under Pressure and Unleashing Confidence - Dr. Michael Gervais is BACK

Article References

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/confidence

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thicken-your-skin/201509/the-essence-confidence

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/self-confidence/

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-build-your-confidence-and-why-it-matters-1442414831

http://time.com/3398699/confidence-in-the-brain/

https://psychcentral.com/news/2012/12/10/scans-show-brain-region-involved-in-self-confidence/48886.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolyncenteno/2018/04/18/your-brain-on-confidence/#360babc760cb

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314777.php

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

https://www.mindsetworks.com/science/

https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/281874

https://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html

https://www.inc.com/peter-economy/5-remarkably-powerful-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html

https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2017/07/21/10-ways-to-build-confidence/#68c7081f3c59

https://marloyonocruz.com/2017/03/30/book-notes-rejection-proof/

Austin Fabel 8/14/19 Austin Fabel 8/14/19

The Top Benefits of Having a Sleep Schedule

Laying out an every-day sleep schedule is a great way to give your body the health level it deserves. Considering all the health benefits that a good night’s sleep can bring us, it’s vital to give our sleep schedule a proper thought. Just like physical activity and healthy nutrition, our sleep habits can greatly affect our wellbeing, so we definitely shouldn't neglect them.

Most of the people who have chosen to stick to a special sleep routine due to specific factors enjoy the following benefits:

● They Get Used To It. A great number of people, including popular scientists like Nikola Tesla, Isaac Newton, and Thomas Edison, made sure they scheduled their sleep. As you can see in this interesting infographic, Nikola Tesla never slept for more than two hours, Isaac Newton slept for three to four hours every day, and Thomas Edison slept for 20 minutes every three hours. This made their bodies know when it was time to be awake and working, as well as when to be asleep.

● They Wake Up With Ease. Having a sleep schedule comes as a great way to effectively and naturally wake up. A stress hormone known as cortisol can be released right before you wake up, and this enables you to get up without troubles.

● They Don't Need An Alarm. According to studies, people like Abraham Graham Bell, who used to sleep four to six hours, would not need an alarm to wake up. In fact, by having a sleep schedule, you can wake up roughly at the same time every day without alarms.

Sleep Cycles To Support Your Sleep Schedule

You can decide to base your sleep schedule on a set of cycles which could be quite healthy. Here's a brief rundown of the sleep cycles that can help you place your sleep schedule correctly.

● Monophasic. This refers to one continuous block of sleep. Most of the time, the monophasic sleepers get about five to nine hours of sleep. According to research, the famous German composer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, used to be a monophasic sleeper, usually sleeping from 1 am to 7 am.

● Biphasic. This involves sleeping for two segments every day. A great number of people find this to be a very common sleep pattern. A popular politician who adopted the biphasic sleep cycle was Napoleon Bonaparte, who slept from 12 am to 2 am, and then from 5 am to 7 am.

● Polyphasic. This cycle is not as common as the previous two. It involves sleeping and waking up multiple times during the night and day. In other words, sleep periods are broken up into shorter naps throughout the entire day. Thomas Edison, for instance, was known to have been sleeping for 20 minutes every three hours. Eleanor Roosevelt was another example. She used to take short naps before giving public speeches.

Sleep is an essential factor that contributes to overall health. Take a look at the infographic below to learn more about successful people and their sleep habits.

Bizarre-Sleeping-Habits-of-Famous-People-Infographic.png

Austin Fabel 7/8/19 Austin Fabel 7/8/19

Dr. Brené Brown's 4 Lessons on How Embracing Vulnerability Can Help You Lead Courageously

Dr. Brené Brown has inspired millions — including Fortune 10 companies and the tech giants of Silicone Valley — through her research on vulnerability, courage, and shame. Her goal is to share with the world importance of embracing vulnerability. If you want to live a more daring and creative life, embracing vulnerability, self-worth, and overcoming shame is the key to living courageously.

Did you grow up believing that vulnerability is weakness?

It’s OK — you’re not alone. Some of us were taught this by our relatives (sad face), and others tacitly picked this up from living in certain communities. Regardless, most of us learned that vulnerability is a form of oversharing that makes you “soft” — or prone to victimization.

In a nutshell, we’re taught that vulnerability is bad.

Here are the facts:

Human beings have an instinctual aversion to pain. Our brains are hardwired to protect us. If our ability to stay safe, protected, and balanced is threatened by external forces, our brains trigger us into survival mode.

Vulnerability is both a physical and emotional disposition that opens us up to uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. If our dispositions aren’t conditioned through self-compassion or self-worth, vulnerability stands to trigger our fears and insecurities — hence, throwing us into survival mode overdrive.

Imagine telling the person you’re crazy about that you love them before you know how they feel or deciding to become the CEO of a new startup and campaigning to ask for funding. In both cases, we are completely opening ourselves up and becoming vulnerable.

We fear being susceptible to any external elements which are completely out of our control — such as rejection, betrayal, or feelings of shame.

Our brains are also hardwired for storytelling, even for stories that aren’t true.

Why would our brains do this to us?

For starters, one of our brain’s many jobs is to protect us. Our brain creates a story — or a narrative that we need to hear about our well-being and the world around us. The story we hear when we perceive our well-being in danger is that vulnerability is bad — it stands to hurt us or cause us pain. So, the conclusion we draw is vulnerability is awful and should be avoided at all costs.

Sorry brain — no shade — but the belief that “vulnerability is weakness” is not only false — it’s total bullshit.

The Truth About Vulnerability

“Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.” – Dr. Brené Brown

Contrary to what our brains may have us think, to be vulnerable is to be human.

In order for us to exert the kind of influence we hope to have in our lives — courage, creativity, belonging, connectedness, leadership, spirituality, — we must embrace our vulnerability.

Dr. Brené Brown has dedicated her life to disproving this commonly held misbelief. Through her years of research, the data shows that vulnerability is the most accurate scientific measure of courage.

Dr. Brené Brown is an endowed research professor at the University of Houston, the top five most viewed TED Talk Speaker, author of five #1 New York Times Bestseller Books including Daring Greatly, Braving the Wilderness, and Dare to Lead, and is the first researcher to have a filmed talk on Netflix, The Call to Courage.

At the Science of Success, we’ve teased out four important lessons from Brown’s research on vulnerability and why it is necessary to embrace it rather than avoid it. You will undoubtedly have tools to create and lead the life you deserve.

Lesson One: “It’s Not the Critic Who Counts”

“If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done.” – Thomas Jefferson

In 1910, Theodore Roosevelt gave what would become one of the greatest rhetorical triumphs in history. A timeless classic, “The Man in the Arena” served as his impassioned response to cynics who dared to criticize those individuals seeking to make the world a better place.

This speech, while profound in its own right, served as the central tenet to Brown’s research on courage as well as the core of her own personal philosophy. Roosevelt said:

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." – Theodore Roosevelt on ‘Citizenship in the Republic’

Brown urges us to recognize that it’s not the critic who counts — it’s not the person who lives their lives on the sidelines or viewing the deeds of others from the “cheap seats.” What are the cheap seats? It’s the seats for those “cold and timid souls” who sit back and criticize others who dare to live a brave life.

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” – Dr. Brené Brown

She goes on to say that the critics aren’t willing to show up to the arena. They aren’t willing to risk getting knocked down or be faced with the daunting task of getting back up — this includes risks related to love, parenting, leadership, creativity, or innovation.

Instead, the critics role is to point out the mistakes of “the doer of deeds” or those who strive valiantly to lead a brave life.

Brown says it’s easy to make a full-time career of hurling judgment, criticism, and shame to others. But it’s hard as hell to live a life of true courage.

She says true courage is the same as vulnerability — it’s the willingness to show up and put yourself out there and be all-in when you can’t control the outcome.

Her advice: Ignore your critics.

Lesson Two: Feedback is Required for Mastery

“If you're occasionally getting your butt kicked…and…you're also figuring out how to stay open to feedback without getting pummeled by insults, I'm more likely to pay attention to your thought[s]…On the other hand, [if] you're not helping, contributing, or wrestling with your own gremlins, I'm not…interested in your commentary.” – Dr. Brené Brown

Brown says that feedback is required for mastery.

Let’s face it, receiving feedback is tough. It stings. And for those of us who aren’t used to rejection, it can feel like a total blow to one’s ego.

In a recent interview, Brown acknowledges that receiving feedback is a vulnerable experience — however, the vulnerability should be experienced on both sides.

Brown says, "feedback should be as vulnerable for the person giving it as the person receiving it…[because] you…have no idea what's [going to] go down in that room."

She goes on to say "you're ready to give feedback when you're ready to sit next to the person, not across from them. You're ready to put the problem, not between you, but in front of both of you. And you should be prepared to own your part in the problem, too.”

Unlike the man in the arena, the critics are unwilling to take the same kinds of risks. And often times, they overlook the amount of effort it requires to fight in the arena. This is something Brown refuses to tolerate in own her life and business.

In sharing feedback with one another, we are best positioned to see the errors and think outside the box on how to self-correct. In an organization that’s open to feedback, it creates a culture that’s vulnerable, honest, and courageous.

The takeaway here is this: feedback that’s genuine and honest is not only necessary for growth, it helps to improve relationships and creates a climate for creative, innovative, and forward-thinking cultures.

Her advice: Only accept and pay attention to feedback from those people who are also in the arena.

Lesson Three: Adversity—The Mr. Miyagi Teacher of Getting Back Up

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” – Samuel Beckett

One of the challenges with living in a vulnerability adverse culture is we aren’t trained on how to deal with failure or disappointment.

Brown says, “If we don’t know how to get back up after failure, disappointment, or setback, we will spend an enormous amount of energy making sure we never have to get back up.”

She goes on to say that when we don’t know how to get back up, we tiptoe around to ensure we never fall. In fact, we spend the majority of our social and emotional lives tip-toeing around, being utterly terrified.

Brown says we need adversity — it is necessary for growth. However, she cautions that there is an enormous difference between adversity and trauma.

Let’s say your adolescent teenager is trying out for their high school’s varsity basketball team. Despite their ample attempts to prepare for the big day, they don’t make the varsity squad. The feedback given from their coach is while your child shows great promise — their dribble skills are poor, and they desperately need to work on their jump shot. This is an example of an adversity (or a difficulty). The feedback given in this situation is a clear understanding of what they need to overcome to make the team next year.

Now, let’s say you want your child to join the basketball team, but they tell you they don’t want to because there is evidence of bullying from the other teammates. As a parent, you demand that your child become a part of the team because you don’t want them to be seen as “weak” or a “pushover.” By not showing your child empathy or investigating the matter further, this act of parenting can create trauma (a deeply tormenting experience).

In a talk Brown gave on The Power of Vulnerability , she asked the audience whether a parent who truly loves their child unconditionally is capable of turning a deaf ear to their child’s struggle with bullying? Her answer, absolutely.

How does this happen? In the above example, instead of showing empathy and being vulnerable, parents can ignore their children’s needs and unintentionally create trauma. Moreover, some parents are fearful of what would happen if they gave into their own vulnerability — e.g. “my child’s pain reminds me of my previous or current struggle with bullying at work/at home/in relationships, etc.” Without empathy, it’s not uncommon for parents to respond with “toughen up” or “don’t be soft” or “I’ll give you something to cry about.” If we aren’t in tuned with our own vulnerability, we can inadvertently shift the shame and trauma that was given to us onto our children.

Trauma not only sets our children back; it sets us back as well.

Brown encourages that a healthy exposure to adversity is needed for us to grow and learn to pick ourselves up when we’ve fallen. Adversity helps us become braver because it presents opportunities for us to exercise our courage.

Lesson Four – Remove the Armor

One of the most defining lessons Brown highlights in her study on leadership is the importance of courageous leadership.

Dr. Brown told the Science of Success that during one of her talks to a group of special forces soldiers, “If vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure, give me a single example courage that you’ve witnessed or experienced yourself that didn’t involve vulnerability.”

After a long pause, one of the soldiers, who just completed three tours, finally spoke up and said, “Ma’am, there is no courage without vulnerability.”

The takeaway here is that vulnerability is needed to be courageous, but it doesn’t mean that if you’re courageous, you don’t experience fear. She goes on to tell us that, “even brave and courageous people are scared all the time.”

However, she notes that it’s not the fear that gets in the way of us being brave or vulnerable, it’s the armor. What’s the armor?

The armor is what you wear to self-protect when you feel emotionally at risk or exposed. While the armor can wear many masks, the most common examples are perfectionism, cynicism, the know-it-all (or more important to be right than get it right), the people pleaser, or the blustery, posturing tough guy. Most of us who were taught that to be vulnerable means to be soft or weak, learned to suit up in the armor to prevent the risk of emotional exposure.

Brown says that armor weighs 100 pounds, but the resentment built behind weighs 1000 pounds. The problem with armor is that it prevents us from showing up or being authentic.

Brown says, “When you work so hard to keep the peace on the outside, you wage a war internally.” When we aren’t able to express ourselves in an authentic way, we harbor resentment and jealously towards those who are courage enough to show up.

One common way to spot this resentment oftentimes comes from our being judgmental—or the inner gremlin who’s hurling criticism from the cheap seats.

Brown says that there’s a way we can remove our armor. It starts with practicing three crucial tasks:

Loving Kindness
Self-compassion
Self-exploration

And asking yourself the following questions:

How does my armor serve me?
What’s the cost of the armor?
What am I afraid of if I lose the armor?
Am I wearing this armor for myself? Or for someone else?
How do you stop caring what other people think about you?

Her advice: You can replace the armor with something that helps you — curiosity. Get curious about who are you, who are you showing up as, how is the armor serving you? And through your exploration of wanting to connect with the person you truly are, be sure to exercise self-compassion towards yourself. Get to a place where you belong to yourself. And by embracing your vulnerability, you’ll find true belonging in yourself and the courage to lead a daring life.

“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” – Dr. Brené Brown

Austin Fabel 6/25/19 Austin Fabel 6/25/19

The Complete Guide To Brain Fog - Symptoms, Causes, and Cures

Brain fog isn't just a nuisance -- if left unattended, its symptoms can lead to severe problems for both your brain and your overall health. Here we explore the symptoms and causes of brain fog and the ways you can emerge from the haze a stronger, brighter you.

What Is Brain Fog?
Brain Fog Symptoms
- Trouble Concentrating
- Forgetfulness and Problems Recalling Information
- Lack of Mental Clarity
- Confusion
- Fatigue
- Irritability or Moodiness
- Insomnia
- Additional Symptoms
Brain Fog Causes
- Stress
- Poor Sleeping Habits
- Diet
- Hormones
- Medical Conditions
- Medications
- Dehydration
- Inactivity
Brain Fog Cures
- Manage Your Stress
- Improve Your Sleep
- Eat Foods that Feed Your Brain
- Hone in on Your Hormones
- Make Time to Move
Supplements For Brain Fog
- Omega-3 Fatty Acids
- Magnesium
- B Vitamins
- Acetylcholine
- Folate
- Phosphatidylserine
- Adaptogens
- Medication Management
Final Thoughts

If you're like millions of other Americans, there's little doubt you've experienced your fair share of mindless moments.

You know the ones we are referring to -- forgetting where you put your keys or parked your car.

While speaking with someone, you completely lose your train of thought, mid-sentence, and zone out of the conversation.

Or perhaps, on a routine trip to the store, you're unable to recall the route you've taken many times before.

While periodic episodes such as these are relatively common -- one in seven adults ages 18 to 39 and one in four adults over the age of 39 will suffer from some lapses in short-term memory -- the prevalence of this brain drain or fuzziness appears to be a growing concern for many individuals, particularly, those with hectic or stressful lives.

In other words, that listless, forgetful haze almost everyone attempting to balance their personal and professional lives with everything else that falls in between.

Better known as brain fog, this malady is more than just a simple loss of focus. If left unaddressed, it can create serious issues, negatively affecting both your lifestyle and overall health. The good news is that once identified, you can reverse the fog or "drain" and build your mind back into the powerful organic computer it’s meant to be.

Let us take a deep dive inside our heads, look beyond the gray matter to define brain fog, understand its symptoms and causes, and discover ways that we can retake control of our brains -- and our lives.

What Is Brain Fog?

Brain fog is not a medical condition or even a medical diagnosis. It is, however, a very real set of symptoms that if left unchecked, can impede your mental state in a number of ways.

Associated with your cognitive functions -- your mental capacity to carry out specific tasks -- brain fog impairs your ability to acquire or process information. Slang terms often jokingly refer to this haziness of the mind as the inability to "think straight" or as someone experiencing "brain farts." The reality for people impacted by brain fog, however, is no laughing matter.

Brain fog manifests itself in several ways, from the mundane to very serious. Some of the most common signs of brain fog include:

Poor concentration and an inability to remain attentive

Failure to focus on a task or subject for any meaningful period of time

Problems with short-term memory or trouble recalling familiar memories or pieces of data

Confusion or lack of clarity, especially with topics and ideas you expect to process easily

Disorganized thought processes and a struggle to understand basic concepts

Difficulty putting your thoughts into words or being unable to recall things you want to say

Another way to describe this muddying of the mind is to use the term mental fatigue, an experience that can indicate far more critical medical concerns.

Brain fog is often cited as a symptom to the more serious condition of brain inflammation, which is linked to autism, dementia, and Alzheimer's. The silver lining when it comes to brain fog, though, is that it is relatively straightforward to identify and is reversible if you take the proper steps.

Brain Fog Symptoms

As with any ailment, brain fog produces plenty of signs to alert you that something is not quite right. Whether at home, work, or school, every person's mind is susceptible to brain fog. There are plenty of ways to tell if it’s something you’re experiencing.

It's important to note that several of the following brain fog symptoms could potentially indicate other issues. However, if you continually find it mentally taxing to work through ordinary tasks or the processing of information proves strenuous or labored and you’ve worked with a healthcare professional to rule out underlying issues, brain fog could be at the root of the problem.

1. Trouble Concentrating

Let's start with the most apparent brain fog symptom -- problems with maintaining a steady degree of focus. Lack of concentration can take on many forms, but it's essential to take note when a momentary lapse does occur. Zoning out every so often is normal. Attention that drifts regularly could indicate a more chronic issue.

2. Forgetfulness and Problems Recalling Information

We all forget things. It's part of how our brain works: New, more relevant information replaces older, less vital data. It’s when we're unable to maintain a hold on the important stuff that brain fog could be the culprit.

As we noted earlier, this manifests it in ways both big (forgetting the route you usually take to get home from work) and small (forgetting where you put your keys).

3. Lack of Mental Clarity

From cloudy thought processes to being easily distracted, lack of clarity is closely connected to the haziness that accompanies brain fog. The inability to maintain a clear head may lead to slow or poor decision making. Depending on an individual's line of work, this could create dangerous situations.

4. Confusion

Should issues with mental clarity escalate, increased fogginess can lead to confusion. Another brain fog symptom that appears in situations both major and minor, confusion is often accompanied by indecision, hesitancy, or a sense of befuddlement.

More so than the other symptoms on our list, confusion can lead to anxiety and self-doubt..

5. Fatigue

Are you always tired at the end of a busy day? Sure, most of us are. But what if that tiredness follows you around, becoming a constant presence in your everyday life?

Fatigued when you wake up, exhausted by lunchtime, and completely drained when the evening rolls around? A worn-out mind quickly saps your entire body's energy levels, and fighting to keep the fog at bay can make it even worse.

6. Irritability or Moodiness

Of course, when you get tired or worn out, your mood will worsen, which leads to higher instances of irritability. Beyond the added stress this places on you, not to mention the fact that irritability further drains your energy, frequent mood swings negatively impact personal and professional relationships and can further intensify already-stressful situations l.

7. Insomnia

There are many reasons people can't sleep, and brain fog impedes a restful night's sleep in a few ways. Most obviously, a hazy mind has an unwelcome affect on your energy levels, which we mentioned earlier.

Another way brain fog robs you of sleep is via the increased anxiety that it can bring about. Anxiety causes us to toss and turn or can leave us unable to fall asleep promptly. Finally, if your recall is suffering or your mind is constantly fighting for clarity, it can lead to a brain that is always on, trying to find its way through the haziness, even when it’s actually time for bed.

8. Additional Brain Fog Symptoms

Smaller, less obvious brain fog symptoms are also signs that your brain isn't as healthy as it should be. Your brain operates thanks to neurotransmitters and hormones. This combination of chemicals helps keep your mind in balance -- so you can think clearly, process information quickly, and understand and react to various situations or stimulants.

Throw it off balance -- for example, in the ways that brain fog does -- and you can find yourself suffering from headaches, decreased motivation, increased anxiety, and even depression or a sense of despair.

Ignoring any of these symptoms would be a disservice to not just your basic physical health, but your mental well-being.

Brain fog, if dismissed as a normal and acceptable part of busy, modern day life, can morph into uncontrollable feelings of discord or hopelessness. From there, your anxiety could increase, and you might also find yourself falling into a state of depression.

Being mindful of symptoms is just one step in understanding brain fog and working to keep it at bay. Another vital means of self-care involves recognizing what influences brain fog and the factors that can cloud your mind.

Brain Fog Causes

If there is one absolute certainty about brain fog, it’s that there is no one single trigger that will bring it about. It's easy to point to how our society currently operates -- always plugged in, always on call, always on edge -- but a hazy mental state might develop for reasons well beyond the personal or professional demands of our day-to-day lives.

For instance, a member of a large family or parents with several young children at home might feel overwhelmed with their personal duties and yet perfectly at ease with their professional life. Of course, that scenario can operate in reverse too.

But that's just one facet of life from which brain fog can develop. Let's take a closer look at some of the most common causes of brain fog.

1. Stress

We've touched on it briefly, but stress, and more specifically, chronic stress, has a huge effect on your overall health. Negatively impacting the different systems within your body, stress can cause high blood pressure, bring about depression, and weaken your immune system.

Stress occurs in many ways.

Poor diet or lifestyle choices, such as smoking, low physical activity, or an irregular sleep schedule can stress the body.

Outside influences from specific environmental factors -- high stress or dangerous working conditions, or a demanding home or school life can also be extremely stressful.

Psychological and emotional factors that generate worry or tension or place undue strain on your cognitive abilities are aptly understood as inducing stress as well.

As we mentioned in the section on symptoms, from a clinical standpoint, your brain relies on a delicate balance of hormones -- cortisol, dopamine, and serotonin -- to help you maintain a clear head.

When cortisol, which is the body's stress hormone and helps to maintain your alertness, is produced in excess, it lessens your ability to control your mood or effectively handle fear or maintain proper motivation. Ultimately, this clouds your mind and your judgment.

2. Poor Sleeping Habits

Sleep is a critical factor when it comes to our overall well-being. A good night's rest lowers our risk for obesity, promotes healing within our tissues and cells, replenishes our body's energy levels, aids in improving our mood, and boosts our immune system. It also helps us to keep a clear, focused mind while we are awake.

Individuals who suffer from sleep apnea (which limits vital oxygen from reaching the brain) or insomnia are at risk when it comes to developing symptoms of brain fog. As the poor sleep persists, every day becomes a battle to find a clear mind -- you wake up in a daze, and that hazy feeling, along with your lowered energy levels, is a constant throughout your days.

However, it's not just how or when or for how long you sleep that matters. Taking certain stimulants too close to bedtime -- consuming caffeine or sugar or taking certain types of medications -- can make it more difficult for you to fall asleep, stay asleep, and sleep well, too.

Plugging into technology around bedtime -- whether its a television, laptop, tablet, or smartphone -- drapes you in a glow of stimulating blue light. Artificial light not only keeps you awake but disorients your brain, resulting in altered chemical and hormonal output. This imbalance makes it harder to fall or stay asleep. Prolonged nightly exposure will severely alter your body's natural sleep/wake cycle.

3. Diet

A factor equally important as sleep is your diet. Poor nutrition can wreak havoc throughout your body. Considering your brain is the most complex organ you have, eating the wrong foods will greatly reduce your brain’s ability to function properly.

Just as they do with sleep, too many sugars cast a pall over your brain. Anything that promotes inflammation -- processed foods, refined carbohydrates, or too many fatty foods -- puts a squeeze on your brain. Remember the balance of hormones we noted -- cortisol, dopamine, and serotonin? Inflammation will cause imbalance and deregulation, and ultimately a hormonal falling out sync.

Other foods known to contribute to brain fog are those associated with food allergies. These include nuts and nut-based products, dairy, gluten, and foods with MSG, to name a few. While several of these can be part of balanced, healthy diets, it's important to recognize if any are adversely impacting your health.

4. Hormones

Women who are pregnant often experience what is, at times, referred to as baby brain. During pregnancy, a woman's hormone levels change dramatically. For many expectant mothers, this can result in problems with short-term memory or a struggle with absentmindedness.

Of course, with chemicals dedicated to the baby's development surging through the body, it’s no surprise that at certain points during pregnancy, women will experience a significant drain on their otherwise healthy adult minds.

Baby brain highlights the very real changes that can occur in hormone levels, turning a sharp-minded individual into someone that is forgetful or has problems maintaining their focus.

Women also experience hormonal changes during menopause, when lower estrogen levels can bring about symptoms of brain fog. Men, for their part, can suffer mental haziness if their testosterone levels drop, especially as they get older.

5. Medical Conditions

It should come as little surprise that many medical conditions contribute to brain fog or have brain fog as a related symptom. For instance, as we've pointed out, inflammation can prevent proper brain function, and related medical ailments like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome are often associated with daily fogginess and fatigue.

Other conditions where brain fog may develop include autoimmune disorders like arthritis, lupus, or multiple sclerosis. Anemia, when a person has too few oxygen-rich red blood cells, or diabetes, which causes the blood sugar to spike too high, may also leave a person feeling mentally drained and fatigued.

Diseases or medical circumstances that directly affect the head or a person’s mental state are regularly associated with symptoms of brain fog. Severe headaches, Alzheimer's, and age-related conditions all produce symptoms or can further complicate situations in which a person’s mental capacity is known to be damaged or in decline..

6. Medications

As much as certain medications are made to help us, they also come with plenty of side effects that impact any number of bodily systems, including the brain. Medications that most commonly create cloudy brain function are those prescribed to treat certain mental conditions.

Benzodiazepine medications that treat anxiety or depression may create short-term memory issues. Sedatives for those with trouble sleeping produce similar effects.

Medicines that treat blood pressure, a condition that can contribute to brain fog on its own, may also have the same effect as they interfere with the chemicals in your brain. Statins, which are used to lower cholesterol, also reduce the cholesterol level within your brain, weakening all-important nerve connections that facilitate a lot of your brain function.

Even popular over-the counter-medications may produce brain fog symptoms. From treatments for allergies to those for diarrhea, nausea, and indigestion, any number of medicines can cloak your brain in a haze.

7. Dehydration

Arguably one of the most under appreciated causes of mental strain is dehydration. Water makes up 60 percent of our bodies. The brain (along with the heart) consists of 73 percent water. Depriving our mind of one of the three main ingredients (along with food and oxygen) it needs to survive is going to create some issues.

Think about a hot summer's day, and how easily disoriented you become if you don't drink enough water. Likewise, when consuming alcohol, you can lose your cognitive acuteness if you fail to hydrate between drinks.

Both of these are classic examples of brain fog -- your judgment and perception becomes impaired, confusion increases, your concentration is lacking, and you may suffer from short-term memory problems.

But it's not just hanging out in the summer or drinking too much at happy hour that causes problems. Even those individuals in great physical shape -- people who jog or bike or workout regularly -- will suffer spells of brain fog if they fail to replenish their body's fluids after any exercise.

8. Inactivity

The final contributing factor to brain fog is a failure to keep your body in motion. Regular exercise, even if it's just a brisk daily walk, will get the blood flowing throughout your body, and most importantly, to your brain. This helps improve your cognitive abilities -- your ability to learn, think, reason, and remember.

Inactive lifestyles deprive the brain of much-needed oxygen. In some instances, long periods of sitting or decreased movement may, over time, wear away the areas of the brain required for creating memories.

Sedentary lifestyles may also lead to increased inflammation, whereas being active typically reduces inflammation. This means the more you move, the better your mood and the lower your anxiety or levels of stress.

Brain Fog Cures

Now that we have a better understanding of brain fog symptoms and causes, let's take a look at some of the best brain fog cures to rebalance your brain so you can start thinking with a level head again.

Many brain fog cures are common sense. Eat better, exercise regularly, and, of course, look for ways to reduce your stress. The hard part is implementing the changes that will lead to a healthy life and a clearer mind.

Other brain fog cures are less obvious. Hormonal imbalances and medical conditions present challenges that can be difficult to overcome. There are, however, ways to at least manage certain conditions better that will help your overall health and your head.

Here are five brain fog cures improve your life and overall well being:

1. Manage Your Stress

We already mentioned that when your cortisol levels are thrown off balance, it can mess with your mood. Produce too much, which is what happens when you experience high amounts of stress, and your brain refuses to shut off, draining you in the process. This "always on" fog can lead to increases in weight, can keep you from sleeping, add to anxiety, and will negatively affect your hormones and sexual function.

While it may be difficult to avoid stress while at work, stick to a schedule where you get up, walk around, and take a few minutes away from any screens or phones and the work itself - a break every 75 to 90 minutes is ideal. Simply sitting outside amongst nature will lower your stress level. When you're away from the office, taking time for yourself can also make a huge positive impact on your stress levels.

When you get up in the morning, don't always reach for your smartphone or check your email. Take time to wake up and get your day started naturally, instead of with technology (and instant stress) in hand. Add stress reduction activities to your daily schedule to keep yourself on an even keel. Activities like exercise, praying or meditation, or reading or journaling all give you valuable, stress-free (or at least lower-stress) time to yourself.

In addition, finding an enjoyable hobby or taking part in something you genuinely love will further reduce stress. It also promotes the production of dopamine within your brain. This "happy" hormone promotes joyfulness and satisfaction, and the more you produce, the more you can keep stress and brain fog at bay.

2. Improve Your Sleep

Even more so than limiting your stress levels, getting more quality sleep is perhaps the best step you can take toward kicking a cloudy brain to the curb. When you get regular, uninterrupted sleep it keeps your hormones in balance, allows your body to recharge and rejuvenate and helps manage your numerous bodily functions -- emotions, hunger cravings, brain function, and more.

Ideally, adults should get at least seven hours of sleep per night. A meaningful night's rest is not only about duration. The quality of your sleep is equally as vital. Create an environment that promotes falling and staying asleep.

Unplug any tech that emits blue light -- laptops, tablets, or smartphones -- which promote stimulation of your brain, at minimum one to two hours before bedtime. Limit bright ambient light or noise that could impact your sleep quality.

Dim lights, relaxing music, or simply a soothing routine -- same time to bed, same time to wake up -- improves your overall sleep quality. Too hot or too cold? Set a pleasant room temperature and use comfortable bedding that doesn't disturb your shut-eye.

Remember, one of the primary contributors to brain fog is fatigue. Better sleep goes a long way toward eliminating it.

3. Eat Foods that Feed Your Brain

Reduce stress, improve your sleep habits, eat better. If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because these are the ingredients of a healthy lifestyle -- and they do in fact lead to a healthier you. However, eating the right foods does more than keep you feeling better physically.

Brain foods -- fruits, sweet potatoes, yams, or healthy grains and dairy -- boost your memory and concentration. Cutting out bad carbs and sugars or anything else that causes inflammation -- items like processed foods and artificial sweeteners -- reduces the likelihood of brain drain and complications of certain diseases like obesity, diabetes, and dementia.

The right foods will also raise your brain's level of alertness and help you maintain a positive frame of mind. Proteins in meat, fish, and eggs are beneficial in supporting this, but the right fats help too. Healthy fats like omega-3 fatty acids are anti-inflammatory. These fats support the maintenance of sharp cognitive skills.

Beyond consuming the right foods, knowing which ones cause your body problems plays a huge part in your brain health. In most cases, allergies and food sensitivities cause inflammation, which, as we've covered, dulls your brain's cognitive functions. Steer clear of known food allergens or unwelcome stimulants, and if you're unclear if something is causing a bad reaction, talk to a doctor to figure it out.

Finally, hydrate. Your brain and body need water. So don't deprive either of good old fashioned H2O.

4. Hone in on Your Hormones

Our hormone levels are not always within our control. Estrogen and testosterone levels rise and fall as part of the body's natural processes. Aging and life events such as pregnancy will also spark changes that can impair certain brain functions.

However, if you suffer from persistent brain fog, it's crucial you try to determine if something else is going on. Imbalances in hormones can lead to adrenal problems, abnormal thyroid function, or chronic fatigue. Apart from seeking guidance from a medical professional for these conditions, look to your diet or lifestyle to determine if anything has changed.

Hormone changes impact your brain in a way similar to inflammation. To keep them in balance, cut back on stimulants like caffeine and monitor or limit your consumption of alcohol and sugar. Also, stress management, sleep, and a healthy diet are all critical to fostering healthy hormone balance.

5. Make Time to Move

You don't need to be a gym rat to clear a cloudy head -- although regular workouts and an active life will certainly boost your brain health. It is, however, vital that you commit to regular exercise that gets your body moving and your heart pumping.

Consistent aerobic exercise is a brain booster, but even an energetic walk -- or anything else that forces you to sweat a little and exert some energy -- is good enough to support strong memory and the ongoing growth of brain cells.

If you sit for long stretches, get up. Walk around at regular intervals to get your blood flowing. This form of movement doesn't just promote brain health, but overall good health, lowering your risk of obesity and reducing your chances of developing increased blood pressure and high blood sugar.

Ultimately, a sedentary lifestyle is not a good one, and it can put your entire body in a fog, not just your brain, which is why any regular movement or exercise is an absolute must.

Supplements For Brain Fog

When working in tandem, plenty of sleep, elimination of unnecessary stress, a healthy diet, and consistent exercise are the main keys to unlocking your brain's full potential -- and keeping it fog free. However, even those that stick to a strict regimen can require a little help.

Several supplements can kick-start the process for reducing your experience of mental cloudiness. Here, we review seven of the supplements most commonly used in treating brain fog, plus provide a bonus tip for getting your head back in the clear.

1. Omega-3 Fatty Acids

Earlier, we identified omega-3 fatty acids as one of your best protections against inflammation, a known cause of brain fog. Omega-3 is found in many different types of fresh, oily fish. However, seafood is not always the easiest addition to an individual's diet -- whether you’re up against lack of availability or simply never developed a taste for fish.

Therefore, supplements that contain omega-3s are a great compromise. You get the brain-boosting benefits of the fatty acids without having to chase down sources of fish or consuming something you don't necessarily enjoy.

2. Magnesium

Magnesium is an important mineral found throughout the human body. To say its a vital part of your body's overall function is an understatement. However, many of us don't get enough magnesium, which is a key player in keeping the neurons in our brains firing on all cylinders. Not only that, but it also helps us sleep better and can keep symptoms of depression at bay.

If you’re after an immediate impact in treating any level of brain fog, a magnesium supplement is a great first step.

3. B Vitamins

If you've ever felt draggy or have gotten a bit short when interacting with others, there's a good chance it was due to a B-vitamin deficiency. B vitamins are critical in the process of fueling our bodies, helping our bodies convert the nutrients we eat into energy. The lower your B-vitamin levels, the less pep in your step.

B complex supplements bridge the gap for those who may encounter issues with keeping their B-vitamin levels within an acceptable range.

4. Acetylcholine

As a neurotransmitter, acetylcholine is responsible for aiding in several brain activities, with memory and our ability to learn new things being two of its most important areas of impact. If our levels of acetylcholine decline, brain fog is sure to follow.

One of the substances that makes up acetylcholine is choline, which falls into the same family as B vitamins. As you develop a vitamin and supplement regimen, consider incorporating supplements that include choline.

5. Folate

Another B vitamin, folate or the synthetic version of it -- folic acid -- is a contributor to producing new cells in our bodies. In relation to the brain, folic acid reduces memory loss, combats the symptoms of depression, and lessens the impact of side effects from certain medications.

Food with a naturally high level of folate include leafy vegetables, asparagus, beans, fruits like bananas and melons, orange and tomato juices, and some meats. You can also address folate deficiency with folic acid supplements, which are often used alongside other B vitamins.

6. Phosphatidylserine

An amino acid that is recurring in the brain, phosphatidylserine serves to regulate and protect brain cells, meaning its importance in brain function is critical.

Phosphatidylserine is a vital cog in ensuring our brains work at their fullest potential; it impacts everything from our reaction times to bettering our attention spans to broadening our mental capacities.

Although phosphatidylserine is naturally occurring in the human body (when a person consumes a healthy diet), deficiencies are possible, particularly as we age. Phosphatidylserine supplements are beneficial in boosting your mood (and combating depression and anxiety), promoting cell repair, enhancing memory, and regulating cortisol levels.

7. Adaptogens

When considering supplements, it's also beneficial to review certain types of herbs that have been shown to relieve brain fatigue. Adaptogens, which are a class of plants that have documented healing capabilities, have been touted for many years as a more natural way to promote the healing specific ailments. Here are seven adaptogens that are worth a look when addressing brain fog.

Ashwagandha: Also called Indian ginseng, this adaptogen promotes the maintenance of normal cortisol levels and healthy adrenal function keep adrenal glands in check, which increase when you suffer from chronic stress.

Astragalus Root: A Chinese remedy, this root is used to improve an individual's immune system and lower inflammation.

Cordyceps Mushrooms: Similar to foods that possess antioxidant properties, cordyceps are shown to guard against inflammation, and when taken in supplement form,can also help manage cortisol levels.

Holy Basil: Also called tulsi, holy basil can decrease stress levels and improve cognitive abilities. Much of this is attributable to holy basil having stress reduction compounds in its chemical makeup.

Licorice Root: A widely known supplement, licorice root can boost brain function in several ways, including improving cortisol levels and strengthening your immune system, and regulating stress by stabilizing cortisol levels.

Panax Ginseng: Another popular supplement, Panax or Asian ginseng can support both stress reduction -- by helping an individual remain calmer -- and memory, a frequent casualty with brain fog.

Rhodiola Rosea: Perhaps better known as golden root, rhodiola works to clear brain fog by curbing fatigue, improving sleep and reducing mood swings, and regulating cortisol levels. It also shows very limited interaction with other medicines, which makes it ideal as a healthy supplement for those with medical prescriptions.

Nothing can replace adequate sleep, less stress, an active lifestyle, and a healthy diet -- for your body or your brain. Supplements, though, do help give your system a boost and provides your brain an all-around better chance of staying free of any fog.

8. Medication Management

Medications, of course, are not supplements. Many people, however, are required to take prescription drugs to treat numerous ailments and conditions. Just as figuring out the right mix of diet, lifestyle, and supplements is crucial for your brain's health, so too is understanding any prescribed medicines you must take.

Talk with your doctor to dial in the proper dosages and limit the effects that the medications might have on your brain, energy levels, and cognitive functioning. Your doctor may even recommend specific supplements that fill certain voids a medication leaves in its wake. It's essential for you to understand how your body reacts to each medication you’re on and to take the steps necessary to realize a regimen that works best for you.

Final Thoughts

Too often, we take the most powerful and most complex organ in our body for granted. In many ways, our line of thinking about our brains falls under the assumption "It just works." We rarely give it additional thought until a problem arises.

However, all of us will, all at one point or another, suffer the haziness of brain fog. Though it affects different people in different ways, many of the symptoms remain universal -- a lack of concentration, fatigue, problems with our short term memories, labored thought processes, and a struggle to retain or understand data.Luckily, many of brain fog’s cures are universal, too.

No matter the impact brain fog is having on your day-to-day, understanding its symptoms and causes, and the ways (many of which are obvious, common-sense approaches) to treat your overtaxed mind not only rid your head of the cloudiness but will help to keep it clear both as you age and approach new challenges and opportunities.

Austin Fabel 5/2/19 Austin Fabel 5/2/19

How To Put More Order In Your Life

In the age of the KonMari method and minimalist lifestyles, best-selling author Gretchen Rubin asks these three important questions when it comes to decluttering:

Do you need it?
Do you use it?
Do you love it?

In the age of the KonMari method and minimalist lifestyles, best-selling author Gretchen Rubin asks these three important questions when it comes to decluttering:

1. Do you need it?
2. Do you use it?
3. Do you love it?

As the mind behind books such as Better Than Before and Outer Order, Inner Calm, Rubin is an expert at finding ways to achieve a more productive and happier life. She talked about outer order in her interview with us, and explained how it affects the different aspects of our lives.

One thing Rubin mentioned that was really striking was that decluttering gives an illusion of productivity. Whether clearing up a mess directly impacts how efficient we are doesn’t really matter much, because she says it’s a ‘helpful illusion’. Yes, having a clear workspace or an organized desktop is not the end goal of working in an office, but it often acts as a vehicle to fulfilling one’s deliverables.

For instance, there’s a study focusing on 80 participants conducted in Spain that looked at the effect of a messy environment on the quality of work. The participants were tasked to input data into a system and the researchers found that more errors were committed when the workspace was cluttered compared to when it was neat.

What gives?

The first thing that people often realize about physical—or even digital—clutter is that it is very noticeable. It takes up space and sometimes even takes you on a full sensory experience. If there’s a stench emanating from it, perhaps, or when your phone or laptop ping repeatedly. In short, clutter is distracting. Things like this divert your attention away from more important tasks. Time gets divided into those two categories when you should just be focusing on the matters at hand.

That becomes challenging since clutter is hard to ignore so you develop stress and anxiety. Quartz even shed light on email-induced stress, that is, when stress levels intensify as inboxes get flooded by work emails. Many working professionals experience getting 50 or more emails a day, some of which are spam, and that can get demanding.

Employers cannot dictate how a person should fix their desk or sort their files. However, they can normalize the practice of not printing unnecessary amounts of documents or refraining from sending emails after a certain hour. It’s not just for personal reasons, as it makes smart business sense as well. Maryville University details that accomplishing business objectives is heavily reliant on how employees behave. Clutter becomes a serious matter when it deeply affects a person’s overall wellbeing, which then affects their quality of work.

To help with that, try to ask Rubin’s three questions when decluttering. They’re more direct than Marie Kondo’s “Does it spark joy?” You only really need those three questions to bring more order into your life and change it significantly. The secret is not to go down the OCD route, but to be deliberate about the things you keep and the things you discard. At the end of the day, you might just be organizing things that you don’t need to put into neat piles, but you still have the same amount of unnecessary junk.

Rubin also believes that decluttering is also very subjective as well as its effect on people. Steve Jobs liked a little bit of mess on his desk because he believed that it sparked creativity. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as a person can confidently say that the amount of clutter is not diminishing their productivity or happiness. Bringing outer order is ultimately a process of contemplation. Purging unnecessary things from your working environment allows you to focus on the important things and people who matter.

Article contributed by: Amanda Conley

Exclusively for The Science of Success

Austin Fabel 4/8/19 Austin Fabel 4/8/19

The Science of Decision Making

Do you ever follow a routine which proves successful for you, but get over-confident and start making bad choices based on your gut-instinct or arrogant thoughts? A lot of us disregard successful techniques because we think we know better. How do we avoid unnecessary mistakes and stick to what works?

Human Nature: The Foundation of Our Lives

“I think a correct understanding of human behavior is a prerequisite to almost any successful endeavor.” – Dr. Crosby

Dr. Daniel Crosby is a psychologist and behavioral finance expert who understands where the human mind and financial markets meet. He recently authored the book The Behavioral Investor, a book where he offers valuable insight into the psychology of investment science. Dr. Crosby points out that human nature lies at the foundation of every human creation, such as financial markets.

With the core of so much of our lives being human nature, then it’s easy to see how an understanding of human psychology and behavior would be an invaluable asset. In his most recent book, he attempted to clarify a lot of the incorrect “folk wisdom” he heard trading coaches spout to their trainees which was inconsistent with the available research.

Even though it appears counterintuitive and is often more difficult, he believes an evidence-based approach is ultimately more effective. He brings up studies which demonstrate how the least successful investors are those who adjust their accounts more often, while the most successful were those who forgot they had an account or even… died.

Dr. Crosby cites another study from Taiwan where only 1 in 360 day-traders are successful, despite their constant focus on every financial chart available, they were getting outperformed by investors who just went about their lives and left their investments alone.

When Success Begets Failure

“At some point, this rush of testosterone kind of goes to their head and they lose their critical thinking and decision-making skills and they’ll bite off more than they could chew.” – Dr. Crosby

Dr. Crosby brings up the physiological response of testosterone that rams have when competing for mates, a hormonal response us humans experience as well. When fighting for mates, a successful ram produces more testosterone which leads to a more difficult fight. If successful again, then the increase in testosterone continues until the ram takes on an opponent beyond its ability and loses.

This sequence of events can be seen in traders on the stock exchange, which was discussed by John Coates in his book The Hour Between the Dog and Wolf. Successful trades lead to a rush of adrenaline and testosterone, which leads to bigger and bigger risks until their arrogance causes them to disregard the rules which provided them with success in the first place.

This leads Dr. Crosby to discuss the importance of creating a decision-making system that we can’t override when gut or brain tells us to. He has a heuristic to demonstrate the importance of designing an effective system to guide our decision-making:

Bad Designs -> Bad Decisions -> Bad Outcomes

He poses the notion that we might be better off if we spent almost all of our time contemplating and reflecting on these systems of behavior to ensure we design it right the first time. But simply creating the system isn’t enough, we also must stick to it even when our momentary feelings or thoughts suggest to us that it’s crazy or wrong.

Take Ownership of Your Time

“I think the very first thing you have to do is take ownership of your time - to take ownership of how busy you are or not, and then allocate that time to stuff that has long term impact and not try and snow yourself as to how busy you really are.” – Dr. Crosby

In order to design an optimal decision-making system, we must make the most of our time. Dr. Crosby brings up studies which show that we have more free time than any civilization has had in history, but we replace that time with watching TV.

Though we might under-report how much free time we have, many of us spend it staring at our phones or the television. He asserts we must be honest with ourselves about how much opportunity we actually have to improve ourselves and our productivity.

The Physiological Component of Stress

“Part of stress is mental and part of it is physical and such an under-appreciated way of managing stress is to watch what you eat, to manage your sugar intake, to decrease your consumption of caffeine, and to get regular exercise.” – Dr. Crosby

Dr. Crosby brings up something he saw a lot from his patients when he was a clinical psychologist, which is how they commonly experienced general anxiety yet also drank caffeine excessively, slept poorly, didn’t exercise, and didn’t spend time with people that cared about them. This illustrates peoples’ common misconception that stress and anxiety are only psychological.

However, when you become aware that our mind and body feed off of each other, your approach to dealing with stress and anxiety begins to incorporate physiological components. But despite the obvious lifestyle changes which could help, everyone wants a magic pill to cure them. Unfortunately, just like finding success in performance and achievement, there are no magic pills.

The R.A.I.N. Model

“Emotional states are, of necessity, fleeting and so this doesn’t define you. You know you’re not defined by your anxiety. You are not defined by your depression - whatever emotion it is that you’re feeling.” – Dr. Crosby

Next, Dr. Crosby discusses a model for dealing with stress: The R.A.I.N. Model.

· R – Recognition: Identify and recognize the stress you’re feeling.

· A – Acceptance: Accept it for what it is.

· I – Investigation: Investigate what you may be able to do about it.

· N – Non-Identification: Do not attribute your momentary feeling to your self-worth.

He compares this model to cognitive behavioral therapy which focuses on recognizing and challenging our beliefs. By experiencing the event which activates us to respond in a way we dislike, we can then choose to respond differently. This becomes an act of taking power back from the situation which previously made us a victim.

He discusses how this relates to the core message of Viktor Frankl’s famous book, “Man’s Search for Meaning is this reality that we are more than what happens to us and that in any place and at any time, we can choose our response to a stimulus. And I think it is a powerful way to move through the world that takes back ownership of your choices and your emotions and says, ‘I am not a victim of my circumstances.’”

Self-Esteem Science Debunked

“You know the only way that I am going to really feel good about myself is taking risks, putting myself out there, putting in the hours, doing the work, and then hoping the rewards come.” – Dr. Crosby

Dr. Crosby then discusses a meta-analysis of 15,000 studies regarding self-esteem which revealed most of the research to be “junk science”. While he was raised where everyone got a medal and showered with praise regardless of their performance, it turns out self-esteem doesn’t predict anything and there’s no substitute for feeling good about yourself other than taking risks.

However, taking risks is hard when our ancient brains are hard-wired to be loss-averse (afraid of losing anything). This type of thinking leads people on what he calls “The Quest for Certainty”, this is a representation of our being more comforted by negative certainty than a potentially positive uncertainty.

He argues we should embrace uncertainty and not settle for the lowest common denominator of familiarity. He also provides a question we can ask ourselves, “Look, am I truly protecting myself or am I bringing about the absolute 100% realization of the very thing I am scared about?”

Inevitable Uncertainty

“Controlling everything that is controllable and realizing that there is much that is out of your control and this is sort of the best you can do.” – Dr. Crosby.

People want a sure thing, they’re always trying to ensure they’re making the perfect decision. But the potential for death always exists right around the corner. There is an unavoidable uncertainty to life that must be accepted. Once we have come to terms with uncertainty, the best thing we can do is control the controllable. By doing so, we can tilt probability in our favor.

Despite uncertainty, there is still the possibility of making evidence-based decisions. Dr. Crosby suggests that when we’re looking for decision-making models for living, we make sure they contain an element of intuition (they feel right from a common-sense perspective) and they are supported by whatever data is available.

Looking for Truth in the Right Places

Next, Dr. Crosby brings up a study from Princeton which shows how peoples’ brains react when telling and listening to a story. When the act of storytelling begins, the brains of the participants become actively synced. This can mislead us into looking for truth through a seductive story, especially one that tells us things will be easy.

This susceptibility makes it easy for people to sell us a story that sounds too good to be true. He states, “You know the truth about personal progress and investment success is that they both require an element of sacrifice, of discipline, and hard work, and any formula that doesn’t include those ingredients, I think, is one that is set up to fail and it is likely profiting someone at your expense.”

The Backfire Effect

“I think the way that you change someone’s mind is through relationships.” – Dr. Crosby

He then begins to explain something called “The Backfire Effect”. This is where a person’s beliefs are strengthened when someone directly rebuffs it with facts. By attacking someone’s beliefs with data and information, all you do is make them double down on their own position. He recommends that we bring people into contact with others who have a different world view.

Dr. Crosby says, “As people with different world views work shoulder-to-shoulder and we can see that we are not the demons we made each other out to be, I think that’s how ideas change. And I hope the listeners to your program will be proactive about seeking out both opinions and especially people that they wouldn’t normally because I think that’s the most powerful way to bring about change.”

Action Steps for Better Decision-Making

Dr. Crosby ends by offering a couple of pieces of advice. First, go somewhere uncomfortable, such as a different religion’s service, a political rally of an opposing party, or watch your non-preferred news channel. He highlights the importance of focusing on changing your own beliefs.

Instead of targeting or attacking someone else, turn the bright light of introspection on yourself. He recommends setting your own house in order first. Challenge your own assumptions, expose yourself to new situations, and be cognizant of your own responses.

Austin Fabel 3/25/19 Austin Fabel 3/25/19

Here is How You Can Reclaim Control of Your Time in as Little as 30 minutes

Do you feel like you don’t have enough time for the things you love? Maybe that includes things such as going scuba diving, writing a fiction novel, playing club volleyball, or spending more time with your children?

Do you feel like your everyday priorities are creating a major time suck in your life?

Let’s take that time back and help you do more of what matters most!

Most of us are just plain…busy. (eye roll)

We live busy lives, work our busy jobs, respond to our busy inbox, come home to our busy families. No matter what, time always seems to be a scarce commodity of which we never feel like there’s enough.

Do you feel like your everyday priorities are creating a major time suck in your life?

Maybe you suffer from a common ailment that befalls most working adults — the curse of the unpredictable schedule.

Let me share a secret. That’s right. Lean in a little closer. The truth is — time is a choice.

Whether or not we are aware of this fact, we are — at every moment of every day —choosing how we spend our time, where we spend it, and with whom.

Laura Vanderkam, writer, author of several time management books including Juliet’s School of Possibilities: A Little Story About the Power of Priorities, and gave an incredibly popular TED talk titled "How to gain control of your free time". She says we have to consciously make time in our lives for what’s important.

So, how can we make decisions that supersede beyond the everyday noise and demands of others?

Vanderkam unveils mismatches between how we think we spend our time and how we actually spend it. She offers her sage-like advice on in as little as 30 minutes. Teaching us how can we reclaim our life’s most precious commodity — time.

The answer is shorter than you think!

But first, here’s the story of Adam…

The glaring sound of the alarm shrieks across the stillness of his bedroom as Adam chaotically scrambles in search of his phone to shut it off. His vision comes into focus, the clock reads 5:45 a.m. “Ugh…just five more minutes” he says to himself after pressing the snooze button for the fifth time in a row. Somewhere around 6:37 a.m., he finally manages to roll out of bed and start the day. He missed his morning gym regiment, but shrugs it off and says, “oh well, there’s always tomorrow.” He remembers he didn’t lay out his clothes the night before on account of him staying up to binge watch The Good Place on Netflix. He shakes out an outfit from the laundry basket, takes a quick shower but forgets to brush his teeth, grabs his keys and heads for the door.

No time for breakfast at home — he’ll eat whatever donut or bagel option is available in the break room. As he settles into his desk and opens his email, he has 346 unread emails in his inbox and looks at his calendar that shows three Skype meetings with clients, and two 45-minute conference calls with vendors.

Adam’s boss walks by his desk, smirks at his unkempt appearance and asks him for a status update on the quarterly budget report. Adam searches vigorously through the stacks of paper piled on his desk to no avail. He knows this is now the third time he’s been asked to hand in a copy of the report. The boss gives him a disapproving look and warns him that if he doesn’t have a completed report on his desk by the end of the day, there will be a formal reprimand followed by disciplinary action. With anxiety coursing through his body, he despairs on how he will manage to complete this report, along with his other duties, on time.

Time is a Choice

As we read and reflect on Adam’s story, setting aside any feelings of judgement (or sympathy) we may have regarding his lack of preparedness, his inability to set clear boundaries with others (clients, vendors, or his boss), or perhaps his overall mismanagement of time—the truth is, most of us have committed similar crimes in conjunction with our time.

If we take a hard look at our lives and how we are managing our time — how often have we over committed ourselves for fear of disappointing others? How many nights have we chosen to binge on Netflix or Instagram, instead of attributing that time towards other things more important to us? How many times have we decided to lie in bed instead of getting up, going to the gym, meditating, and making a nutritious breakfast?

Let he/she who committed no sin against the mismanagement of time cast the first stone.

Most of us have felt the crippling anxiety of our lives unraveling before our eyes on account of either not knowing how to make choices on how we spend our time, or not knowing what our priorities are. Thus, time becomes a mutable force which tends to escape our grasp.

Vanderkam reminds us that expectations are infinite, and time is finite.

There will always exist a feeling that there’s something else you could (and sometimes should) be doing. There will always be more that somebody expects from you.

Vanderkam says that there are as many expectations as there are stars. When you are choosing to do one thing, you’re choosing not to do something else.

In either case, time is a choice.

Saying “yes” to something is saying “no” to something else

Let’s dispel a myth right now — We are always disappointing someone. It’s sad but it’s inevitable. And… that’s OK!! There are tradeoffs to everything we do. Every choice to do something is, by definition, a choice NOT to do something else.

If disappointment is unavoidable – then we must ask ourselves who are we disappointing? Ourselves? Or someone else?

Vanderkam says knowing this is liberating. We learn that we actually have more power than we think and can choose how we spend our time.

“There are opportunity costs to any choice you make about how to spend your time.” – Laura Vanderkam

When somebody asks for our time, we ultimately fill up our schedules with their requests — for one reason or another.

We don’t always recognize this until it’s too late — the opportunity costs of relinquishing control of our time leads us to feeling overbooked and overcommitted.

Instead of always saying yes to someone else, Vanderkam urges us to try this on for size — say yes to yourself.

Envision Your Future — Who Are You Becoming?

In order to see the full range of our choices laid before us, we must travel into the future.

Vanderkam advises us to picture ourselves in the next five to ten years

Are you living a happy life? Are you professionally fulfilled? Are you flourishing in your personal and professional life? If the answer is yes, what components, or activities, or relationships, or engagements makes your vision true? For instance, are you healthier because you see yourself following a regimented diet and exercise routine? Are you professionally fulfilled because you’ve advocated for yourself and took on more challenging yet creative projects?

What vision did you create for yourself? Who did you become?

Vanderkam says another exercise we want to do is picture someone giving you an award in ten years. If they recite a speech outlining the amazing things you’ve done — what actionable attributes would they list? What would they say about you?

Next, envision that in order for you to receive this award, character references would need to be included. What would those closest to you say about you? What impact have you made on others or your community? What insight can you gather from this vision? Does your current life reflect where you’re headed?

How can you make this vision you have for your life a reality?

Let Priorities Inform Scheduling Choices

“Dreams always come from behind you, not right between your eyes. It sneaks up on you…when you have a dream, it doesn’t come at you screaming in your face…sometimes a dream almost whispers…it never shouts…so you have to everyday of your lives be ready to hear what whispers in your ear…[and] very rarely shouts.” – Steven Spielberg

Like Spielberg’s notion on dreams, Vanderkam says the things we really want in life are not always the things that are screaming right in front of us.

Our dreams can become muffled by the noise and if we aren’t careful, they can get lost in the busy-ness of our lives.

Vanderkam says the only way to get around that is to schedule in our priorities.

Unless we consciously choose to prioritize those things that matter to us, our time can swiftly be scheduled away and looped into someone else’s priorities.

We should ask ourselves, what three things would you do to yield an amazing year for you professionally? How can you break those down into three doable steps? What space are you clearing in your schedule to perform them?

Action Item:

Think about what truly matters to you. Challenge yourself to put a couple things on the schedule for the upcoming week to meet that end.

“By the yard it’s hard, but inch by inch, anything is a cinch” – Brian Tracy

If you can’t do it all, do just a little bit.

Vanderkam says that even carving out small chunks of time — say 30 or 45 minutes a day, can make a huge difference.

Let’s say your goal is to write a novel. If you committed yourself to just 30 minutes a day (averaging around 350 words per day), in 365 days, you could end up writing 127,750 words. Boom! You have a first draft of a novel.

When we say we don’t have time for something, Vanderkam urges us to question whether it’s truly a priority?

If yes, Vanderkam says put it on your calendar.

If not, to hell with it – make peace with it and move on to other things in your life that are a priority.

Vanderkam says challenge yourself to find the equivalent of 30 minutes a day. If you need to break that down into 15-minute increments – totally fine. The idea here is if you can allocate time to those things you love, you’re going to feel amazingly different – a total badass, because you know you’ve devoted yourself to something awesome.

Action Item:

Measure where your time actually goes. She encourages us to track our time in an excel spreadsheet – create a time log. There are 24 hours a day, 168 hours in a week. What did you do in the last 24 hours? Write this down.

The best way to start spending time better is to figure out where it’s going now. Sorry kids, but there’s no way around this.

“What gets measured, gets managed.” – Peter Drucker

Time can be measured. If we want to spend our time better, we must figure out precisely where it goes. Vanderkam says to find the data and then make better choices.

Questions for reflection

As you can see, it’s possible to reclaim your time in as little as 30 minutes. Once you regain control of your time, the gift in this is you begin to not only see — through a clear lens — the cost of not doing those things that make you happy or improve the quality of your life but also the vision of joy and excitement that comes along when your time is spent on the right things.

To create more time for the things you love, Vanderkam says to do the following:

Picture yourself a couple of years into the future. If you are fulfilled personally and professionally, what are you doing and who’s with you? Why are you doing those things? Who’s with you? What impact are you having on the world? What makes you excited to do the things you’re doing? What steps can you take to get there? How can you spend more time in your current life on these things? What can you do right now to start making progress on those long term ambitions? Who can hold you accountable to your dreams?

Austin Fabel 3/18/19 Austin Fabel 3/18/19

Here’s What You Can Do to Create New Ideas For Your Business, Life, and Master Any Skill

Sadly, clichés aren’t effective tools for change.

If we want to do something, we not only have to get off our asses and take action — we need to create a mental model on how we plan to attain it.

Like the hero or heroine who embarks on an epic quest to find hidden treasure in a distant land, we need to create or resource an epic mental framework to slay our fears and master our chosen skills.

You know the sayings: “follow your heart” or just “stay positive?” While they are nice in their intent — they are utterly useless and lack any true meaning.

If we lived in a magical world where our desires came to fruition simply because we wanted it bad enough, maybe clichés would do more for us in terms of helping us to visualize our goals.

Sadly, clichés aren’t effective tools for change.

If we want to do something, we not only have to get off our asses and take action — we need to create a mental model on how we plan to attain it.

Mental models are one of the defining factors that separate the ultra-achievers from people who plateau in their lives — they are powerful and are one of the highest leverage activities you can use to understand the world in some important way.

This is why Josh Kaufman, researcher and author of three best-selling books including The Personal MBA, dedicates his work to uncovering the importance of developing mental models to help others become more successful in business, entrepreneurial, and personal endeavors.

Kaufman offers two mental models to create new ideas in business and five easy steps to master a skill we can use right now.

Mental Models—What are they good for? Absolutely Everything

Mental models come from a place of curiosity.

“If you want something you have never had, you must be willing to do something you have never done.” – Thomas Jefferson

Are you naturally curious about the way the world works? Do you find yourself reflecting on the why’s and how’s of human behavior? What values or concepts are fundamental in cultivating a business environment, growing one’s customer base, or imprinting our brand distinction in the minds of customers?

Mental models are universal, flexible tools we can use for organizing anything that happens in our world and allows us to make sense of it.

They help us to identify the things we need to know — how to create new ideas and approach new opportunities; interact with certain kinds of people; work more effectively; be more productive; make better decisions; and generate better ideas.

Kaufman says it’s easy to get bogged down in the minutia of techniques that apply only to specific situations in business.

Like using a high powered telescope to see and experience the vastness of the galaxy, mental models allow us to understand the totality of our task and the clarity to see the way forward.

How do we create a mental model?

Kaufman advises us to read as much as possible and to always pursue learning and exposure to new ideas — we should be insatiable in our quest for knowledge.

One of the benefits from reading a lot is most ideas you’ll come across are repetitious — you see them over and over again.

Kaufman says, the more mental models you collect, the more cognitive tools you have at your disposal, even if they are stored in the far reaches of your mind.

When you are trying to think through a new opportunity, you have a repository of mental frameworks you can resource and choose from.

The average millionaire reads a minimum of two books a month. Bill Gates is reported to read 50 books a year.

Reading not only helps to expand your roster of mental frameworks, but it keeps you current and creative.

Let go of the magic bullet

A futile quest for those who seek a framework to either improve their personal lives or elevate their businesses is “the search for the magic bullet.”

In other words, they are hoping to stumble upon a miracle elixir of an idea that is directly applicable to their problem or situation and will offer a paint-by-numbers approach to achieving the result they want.

Well, sorry to break it to you, but the Tooth Fairy isn’t real — and neither is the idea that you will solve a problem overnight with a snap of your finger.

Kaufman says that looking for magic bullets have real opportunity cost.

For starters, they don’t exist.

Instead of spinning our wheels looking for a needle in a hay stack, he goes on to say that we can spend our time and energy in becoming skilled and versatile in our thinking about how we can solve our own puzzle.

Versatility is key

One of the other important components to developing a mental model is the importance of developing a multidisciplinary approach to understanding the world.

Whatever industry, market, or discipline we operate in, it’s very easy and tempting to narrow our focus and only play in the sandbox in which we are most familiar.

For example, an architect may decide that the easiest thing she can do to improve is focus solely on the skills directly applicable to architecture — such as drafting, structural engineering, or materials science. What if instead of focusing on those skills, we diversify our skills and exposure through other mediums?

For the architect, maybe she takes up photography or social documentary and uses this as a means to understand the global challenges of marginalized people in the world. Such versatility positions her to create a building that fosters inspiration, creativity, and hope, and promotes health, family, and conscious community.

Kaufman says that while it is important to develop an expertise, focusing on an area exclusively to the abandonment of everything else is a sub-optimal approach.

True learning is the acquisition of knowledge and skills through study and experience. It’s about understanding systems — what they are, how they work, how to look at them, how active are they in our lives, our fields, and whether we are able to analyze and improve them over time.

Versatility is a true asset — it gives you options that others may not have and see opportunities that others won’t see.

Our goal is to bring together our skills, businesses, people, systems, and tools to understand and uncover various interplays that apply to real life situations. Kaufman says this gives us an enormous advantage.

Make a Mental Model List, and Check It Twice

Kaufman says that the key pieces of a mental model are the idea, why it works, and how to apply it.

There are two models that Kaufman commonly refers to when engaging in business with C-Level executives and even when just pitching an idea to a friend.

The Five Parts of Every Business

Kaufman says, in every business, there are five parts that any business should concern themselves with:

Value Creation: to create something, a product or service, of value.
Marketing: to get the attention of prospects
Sales: to convince prospects that something is worth paying money for
Value Delivery: to deliver the value that was promised to customers
Finance: how much are we spending

You may be wondering, why these five parts?

Kaufman says these five components allow you to evaluate existing business processes as well as identify new business opportunities.

In other words, this mental model was designed to help its user understand how does this business fulfill it’s critical function, where is it thriving, where are its pain points, and are there any blue ocean strategies we can tap into?

It’s an invaluable tool we can use to make known any new opportunities available to us — including paths to increasing our revenue.

The Four Methods to Increase Revenue

After combing through the literature, Kaufman found that there were only four ways to increase revenue.

Increase the number of customers
Increase the average transaction size
Increase the frequency of transactions per customers
Raise your prices

Short answer—If we want to make money, Kaufman says that these are the four areas we need to think about.

So, why does he share these two models with us?

Mental models are not only tools for thinking through or about a situation, they are also very handy checklists.

Memorizing the four ways to increase revenue gives you a framework of questions to explore and new ideas to investigate. Whenever you are faced with a problem this checklist provides a quick way to evaluate your current situation and the options in front of you.

Think of a mental model checklist as a standard operating procedure.

In his book, The Checklist Manifesto, Atul Gawande explores common mistakes made by professionals because of one simple reason — they didn’t review their checklists.

Gawande notes that checklists can help to mitigate errors of ignorance (mistakes we make because we don’t know enough), and errors of ineptitude (mistakes we made because we don’t make proper use of what we know).

Kaufman reminds us to use our mental models to check over items we may have overlooked or forgotten and to review the situation over and over again so that you know what the process should be.

Law of Practice in the First 20 Hours - Master Any Skill

Some of us may be familiar with Malcom Gladwell’s 10,000 hour rule — the idea that in order to truly master a skill, you must spend a minimum of 10,000 hours of deliberate practice.

Kaufman considers this model a status malfunction.

The 10,000 rule is great for top performers in ultra-competitive industries. But what about the average Joe who simply wants to learn the guitar because he’s passionate about playing?

His passion doesn’t mean he aspires to be like Tenacious D and create The Greatest Song in the World. Conceivably, he aspires to play because it’s fun.

The problem with the 10,000 hour rule is that most people would use it as an excuse to not get started in the first place.

Kaufman offers an alternate approach called the law of practice, which basically says when you start practicing, you tend to improve at an extremely rapid pace.

The First 20 Hours is a very simple framework. It’s the process of deciding to learn something new and then approaching it in a systematic way in those early hours of practice as efficiently and effectively as you can make them.

Kaufman breaks this down in four easy steps:

Step One: Become clear and more specific about what you want to do.

Clarity is power. The more clear you are about exactly what it is that you want, the more your brain knows how to get there.” - Unknown

Kaufman says we need to force ourselves to be specific.

Contrary to true belief, skills aren’t just one thing — they’re bundles of smaller sub-skills and may have very little to do with each other.

Step Two: Deconstruct that skill into smaller, sub-skills.

For instance, suppose you’d like to develop your skills as a writer. It’s not enough to simply free-write every day. It’s important to compliment your writing with other sub-skills like reading other beautifully written works, which in turn help you expand your mental model of how to approach writing more effectively and cogently.

Step Three: Learn Enough about each sub-skill to self-correct

Kaufman advises us to not get stuck in over-reaching before you jump in — this is a form of procrastination. If something isn’t working, go back to the drawing board and try a different approach.

Step Four: Remove the barriers to practice.

Barriers can be physical, mental, or emotional.

The major barrier to learning isn’t intellectual, its emotional” – Josh Kaufman

If there’s anything blocking your way to mastering a skill, Kaufman advises us to either move it, or get rid of it entirely.

Step Five: Pre-commit to practicing the most important sub-skills for at least 20 hours.

Kaufman says pre-commitment serves two purposes:

A) if you’re not willing to pre-commit for 20 hours a month (roughly 40 minutes a day), then this could be a sign that this skill doesn’t hold enough value or benefit for you, and

B) to accept that the first 20 hours of any skill you pursue will suck.

Kaufman says that we should be honest with ourselves and say, “Ok, I’m not good at this and yes, this is frustrating. I’m going to be terrible at this for the first 20 hours. But once I reach the 20 hours I can decide one of two possible routes — either I stop, and try something else, or I see improvement compared to where I was 20 hours ago, and I am not going to stop until I’ve mastered the skill that I’ve decided is important to me.”

Additionally, Kaufman urges us to not compare ourselves with others.

“The more you focus on your own sense of development and worry less about what other people are doing…the more emotionally happy and well-adjusted you are [going to be]” – Josh Kaufman

Action Items

To start creating our own mental model repository and begin mastering our skills, Kaufman offers two homework assignments to help us accomplish such ends:

Homework A

Do some research on mental models and do some reading and learning around mental models. Start filling your mental model toolbox. A practical way to do this - choose to read or listen to something that is dramatically outside your area of expertise.

Broaden your intellectual landscape as much as you can.

Homework B

If you were going to invest 20 hours into learning how to do something that is either personally fulfilling or very helpful for work - if you invested 30 to 40 mins per day for a month - what skill would you focus on first and why? Is that skill really worth committing 20 hours of practice?

When doing both reflection exercises, Kaufman encourages us to use “PICS” to help specify and clarify what you want to do: Positive, Immediate, Concrete, and Specific

Austin Fabel 3/11/19 Austin Fabel 3/11/19

Five Lessons on Finding Purpose and Living Your Life in the Front Row

Imagine waking up one day to find that you’ve been diagnosed with a life threatening illness and informed that you only have three months to live. How do you cope with this new reality? How would you choose to spend the remaining time you have left?

When you reflect on your own mortality, you start to realize certain inalienable truths — no matter how we choose to live our lives, on the last page of our book, we die.

This staggering yet unavoidable fact is what Jon Vroman — speaker, author, coach, and founder of the Front Row Foundation — helps to remind us.

While the thought of contemplating one’s finite amount of time can be morbid and scary, perhaps, we can envision it another way?

Instead of feeling fear, we can be energized by our lives and create a space for us to appreciate the now.

How do you find your purpose in life — especially when you’re lost or confused about what to do next? How do you push yourself beyond what you think is possible? How can you strive for what truly matters to you? In other words, how can you live your life in the front row?

Vroman shares five lessons directly from Death’s Door on how we can live our purpose and our lives in the front row.

Facing Death

When he wrote the book, Front Row Factor, Vroman realized that there was so much wisdom from people who are facing death.

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” - Steve Jobs

In the face of peril — a disease, an illness, or anything threatening to our homeostatic existence — puts things into perspective and our world becomes clear.

All of a sudden, we don’t hold onto the trivial. Instead, we focus on what’s truly important and what we want to define.

When looking at his life on a timeline, Vroman realized that he was almost halfway through the great years he had ahead. To his surprise, it didn't create a paralyzing feeling — it created energy.

One of the best things about being human is our freedom to choose. We can choose to look at our lives and see that the glass is half full or half empty.

We can choose to hold onto the guilt and shame of not spending more time with our kids when they’re out for the summer, or we can look forward to and celebrate the eighteen wonderful summers ahead of us.

Vroman urges us to find our vibrancy, appreciation, and to develop a sense of urgency to make the most of our moments while we still have them.

You may be wondering — well that sounds great, but how do I experience a reaction of vibrancy, appreciation, and the urgency to live instead of drowning in fear and paranoia?

Vroman’s response lies in the lessons below to living a front row life.

What does it mean to have a front row life?

Vroman says a front row life is where you intentionally and consciously create experiences and celebrate the meaningful moments of life.

Lesson #1: Manage Your Mindset

The first lesson to learn is that in order to live a front row life, you must manage your mindset.

“I often tell people that personal growth isn’t always about learning something new. It's about remembering what's true. It’s practicing the habits and the rituals and the ideas and the rhythms that actually work, and one of them is the questions that we ask.” - Jon Vroman

Vroman says the questions we ask shape our future. If we ask powerful questions, we get powerful answers.

Spending valuable time obsessing over questions like, “What's wrong here? What am I missing? Why is my life not living up to the standards of others? Why are they so much further ahead than I?” is not only a waste, but in doing so, we are putting energy into the wrong questions.

Like asking powerful questions, when we ask the wrong questions, we get the wrong answers.

In framing our questions that focus more on the robustness and value-adding activities of life, we are not only creating a space for positivity and hope, but we are shifting our mindset altogether. In short, we manage our mindset by reframing the scope of the questions we ask.

“When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive.” - Shawn Achor, Author of the Happiness Advantage

Lesson #2: Create a Positive Environment

Vroman says that it’s not enough to manage your mindset, but we must also create a positive environment. If our environment lights us up, we’re bound to behave differently.

Shawn Achor, Harvard professor and author of The Happiness Advantage, says that environment is one of the key ways to create happiness in one’s life.

Achor recounts his trouble of building a habit of practicing guitar after a long day’s work. He knew that practicing would make him happier but the 20 seconds of effort it took to remove his guitar from the closet proved to be a major mental barrier.

In his book, The Happiness Advantage, he shows that the 20 second rule turns out to be a major barrier for most of us.

His answer to overcome this barrier is to remove it altogether — we do this by rearranging our environment. Instead of leaving the guitar tucked away, he had it out, made it apart of his environment — thus removing any hurdles to keep him from playing.

What if we shape our environment in all areas of our lives? What if we create ease by intentionally putting things in our path to motivate us to act?

By shaping our environment to in a way that inspires us or serves as safe haven for us to test out our new ideas, we give ourselves the space we need to experience the beautifully authentic moments in our lives.

Lesson #3: Surround Yourself with Powerful, Positive Relationships

In addition to rearranging our environment, we compliment it by surrounding ourselves with powerful, positive relationships.

In their book Connected, two renowned scientists — Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler — proved with science that connectedness matters.

They purport — we are subtly (and often unconsciously) influenced by people around us, and our happiness and success is affected by the relationships we surround ourselves with.

Abraham Lincoln was a firm believer in the power of connectedness. As such, he surrounded himself with people, including his rivals, who had strong egos and high ambitions; who felt free to question his authority; and who were unafraid to argue with him. He surrounded himself with relationships that not only inspired his greatness but elevated him.

Vroman says, we have to ask ourselves: who’s in our front row? Whose front row are we in? Who are we connected to?

We have such a strong desire to connect with people. When we have somebody that we’re accountable and connected to, it changes our world.

Action Item: Write down the 8 most important people in your life, then write down their #1 goal or dream. Do you know it? How can you help them achieve it?

Lesson #4: The Magic of Hope

When we have hope for the future, we are able to bring the power of possibility into the present moment so we can do something about it.

The film Shawshank Redemption told the story of an innocent man named Andy who was wrongfully sentenced to life in prison for murdering his wife and daughter. The penultimate moment in the film occurred when the guards discovered Andy’s cell empty. They pulled back a poster covering a hole that Andy dug out over the span of 19 years. When Andy finally breaks free one rainy evening and lifts his hands up towards the sky, he soaks in the moment of celebratory freedom.

For Vroman, the film was a lesson about persistence — being steadfast in your belief that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a depiction about the power of hope.

Vroman says hope is not wishful thinking. It’s not a weakness. Rather, there is magic in hope.

When we look into the future and we’re excited about something, we know what makes us come alive. We know what we want to create and how we want to serve. Hope creates change and can change how we behave in the moment. It creates in our world determination, perseverance and gives us the energy to act. It's a way of understanding the power of dreams that people have in their life. It is united, collaborative, and brings things to life.

Most importantly, it is something we all need and necessary if we choose to live a front row life.

Lesson #5 Where We Find Purpose…We Find Fuel

Just as you need gas to drive across the country — to do anything in life, we have to first create fuel.

Vroman says that fuel can help you move forward, to be energized and excited about engaging with the world.

He shares a story about the time he was approached and asked to run a 52-mile ultramarathon. He tells us that he has never ran 10 miles, much less 52 miles. Nevertheless, he trained relentlessly and in less than four months, he showed up to run his first 52-mile ultramarathon.

He recalls the most valuable lesson he received was at mile 26. He was in excruciating pain and could literally feel the tearing of his muscles with every step he took. He collapsed on the ground, holding his knees, and started crying.

In his moment of pure exhaustion and agony, he thought about a little girl named Sophie who participated in a Front Row event hosted by his foundation. She was only four years old and yet, she was fervently battling a brain tumor. His foundation took her to go see Kelly Clarkson live in concert which included VIP backstage pass. Sophie was overjoyed.

In spite of every attempt to save her, she passed away before her fifth birthday. At her funeral, Sophie’s parents buried her with the VIP badge from the concert. When he thought about her fight and yet her ability to still live a front row life, his charity work, and all of the people who believed in him, this energized him. The pain — which at the time permeated every part of his body — suddenly subsided, and in its place, he found his purpose. He found his fuel. He got up from the ground and finished the race.

“When your ‘why’ has heart, your ‘how’ gets legs.”- Jon Vroman

How do we find our purpose when we are feeling lost or confused? How do we go about starting that journey?

He says that some people go through life and they achieve so much success, but they never take time to celebrate it. They miss out on that really amazing feeling you get from looking back and acknowledging the gratitude, the highlighted moments, the wins of today.

For Vroman, he knew that his greatest fear and his greatest love were complimentary of one another. This created fuel and gave birth to his purpose (and the mission of the Front Row Foundation) — to help people who are experiencing a life-threatening illness have one of the best days of their life and to let this be the metaphor for how they live everyday of their lives.

Vroman says we should first learn to be present in the moment. Being present allows us to reflect on our loves, our fears, and what creates fuel. This is how we find our purpose. The lesson here is that fuel is purpose — it’s the why behind things. Fuel is purpose, and purpose gives us wings.

When we identify our fears and our loves, we start to understand why we want something and eventually, the how manages to show up somewhere along the line.

Austin Fabel 3/4/19 Austin Fabel 3/4/19

Here’s A Proven Way to Overcome Negativity, Insecurity, and Self Doubt

If you’re like most people, you probably face self-doubt and negativity on a daily basis.

Did that self-help book or new age guru tell you it’s just a matter of setting an intention or exerting your willpower?

Well, I hate to break it to you, but those ideas — while nice in theory — are terrible tools for creating lasting change. And what’s more, they aren’t backed by proven, scientific strategies.

If you’re like most people, you probably face self-doubt and negativity on a daily basis.

Did that self-help book or new age guru tell you it’s just a matter of setting an intention or exerting your willpower?

Well, I hate to break it to you, but those ideas — while nice in theory — are terrible tools for creating lasting change. And what’s more, they aren’t backed by proven, scientific strategies.

Fortunately, Todd Herman, high-performance coach and author of The Alter Ego Effect: The Power of Secret Identities to Transform Your Life, offers a unique strategy that you can cultivate right now.

Spoiler alert: it’s a quality that you already possess.

Dispelling the Myth of Balance

Many self-help experts profess that solutions to most of our problems coalesce around our ability to create balance.

Herman says that nature is a litmus test — if you want to find out whether or not something is true, just see if that thing exists in nature. If something doesn’t exist, then we need to look at it more deeply to understand it.

Herman claims that balance does not exist in nature. This is not to be mistaken with equilibrium. When nature is unaligned, it will do what it needs to do to bring itself back to an equilibrium. He urges us to rid ourselves of this idea that we must conform to a practice that neither exists nor works in nature.

Instead of beating up on ourselves for failing to compartmentalize our lives in a way that achieves “balance”— why not make a conscious choice to change our approach?

Nature is flow — the different components that make up the totality of our lives should remain fluid and interwoven. Like nature, we can bring ourselves into a state of equilibrium by integrating, not separating.

This brings us to the idea of the alter ego...

Introducing, Alter Egos

You may be wondering what exactly is an alter ego and how does this connect to the idea of flow in nature?

Your alter ego is your innermost, trusted friend who shows up to help you navigate the resistance with grace. Like Superman, your alter ego arrives in the nick of time embodying those innate qualities to serve you and help you attain the results you want.

Just as nature calls on itself to create a state of equilibrium when it is out of alignment, so does the human psyche when it calls forth the alter egos to save the day.

Imagine presenting a pitch to your boss so you can take the lead on that multi-million dollar advertising account or showing up on the football field for the championship game or managing a classroom full of rowdy pre-teens. No matter your struggle, your alter ego is a superpower that you call upon. In other words, alter egos help us get into the zone, or state of flow without judgment.

When you're in a state of flow, Herman says that you're literally allowing every single ounce of your capability to show up in that moment without any sort of restriction of negative self-talk. He says, it's a massive allowing that gives you permission to achieve.

"Our imagination is more powerful than knowledge, and our creative imagination is truly our gift to handle the world and handle it with more grace” – Todd Herman

The kick-ass feature about alter egos is that it utilizes our creative imagination. They’re like a backdoor which harnesses our creative instincts to help us ward against the shadow self (the dark parts of our personality), or what Herman refers to as the enemy.

The enemy wants to drag you back to the shadows. It uses nefarious tactics familiar to most of us. We know them as resistance, imposter syndrome, negativity, self-doubt, and fear.

Because our alter egos employ the use of our creative capacity, Herman says that your alter ego can be anyone or anything you want.

How do we trigger our alter egos?

One tactic Herman encourages us to do is to select an artifact or a totem to trigger the alter ego you want to come forward.

Have you ever heard of the saying, “dress for the job you want, and not for the job you have?” There’s a reason why those who dress to play the part stand a better chance of achieving their goals as opposed to those who don’t. That reason is called enclothed cognition.

What does science tell us about alter egos?

Cognitive psychologists Hajo Adam and Adam Galinksy from Northwestern University have examined the psychological and performance-related effects that wearing specific articles of clothing have on the person wearing them. They coined the term enclothed cognition — which captures the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes. In a nutshell, what we wear can be an implicit non-verbal way to express our unique personalities.

Herman recalls a time where he gave a talk and shared his secret on how he wields confidence in business situations. Even though he had perfect vision, he would wear non-prescription glasses to summon his inner Superman alter ego. He said, “I was using the glasses to activate specific traits [so that I may] step in to [my] inner business Superman.”

Afterwards, a woman approached him and thanked him for his wonderful talk. She shared that her husband “Martin never needed glasses either. He had perfect vision and he had nonprescription glasses…to help him do the hard things that he was out there doing.”

When Herman glanced down at her name tag, it read “Coretta Scott King,” and of course, the ‘Martin’ she was referencing was none other than one of the most influential civil rights leaders of all time: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

She went on to tell him that for MLK, putting on his glasses meant that he was stepping into his distinguished self and gearing up to do what was necessary to carry the dream forward.

The second take away here is that the self is defined by its context, and the idea of the self as one entity is completely flawed. We carry multiple selves in various contexts. Or as science calls this, the Multiple Self Theory.

You don’t build just one ego to serve you throughout your entire life, you create several to help you rise to performance in any context of life.

Whether it's having a difficult conversation with your boss or calming down your toddler’s temper tantrum, sometimes “to meet force with force does not help when dealing with difficult people. All it does is prolong the tantrum and create problems. Be like Mr. Rogers.”

Herman teaches us that we must use the alter ego appropriate for the given performance zone. In his case, Clark Kent/Superman is needed when powerful business deals are being negotiated, but Mr. Rogers has a softer, gentler way of comforting his daughter.

Through utilizing our creative imaginations to bring forth various alter egos, we harness the power to make ourselves more powerful and more effective.

Wait...isn’t this just another form of “fake it til you make it?

Herman’s answer is no.

People who live by the “fake it til you make it” rule are in fact not creating an alter ego. Rather, they are creating a trapped self — a person who’s heavily influenced by the changing tides of the external world. It’s like being a puppet, and the world is your puppeteer. When we fake it, all we are doing is being inauthentic to who we truly are.

Herman recalls the moment he met legendary Bo Jackson, the only athlete to be named an All-Star in both baseball and football. When he shared with Bo that he was speaking on performance zones and the importance of alter egos, to his surprise Bo responded and said, “Bo Jackson never played a down of football his entire life.”

When he first started playing football as a teenager, Bo was angry, emotional, and reckless —which caused him to be unfocused, imprecise, and fumbling. One night, Bo watched the movie Friday the 13th, and setting aside the presence of slasher film gore, he admired Jason’s ability to remain staunchly focused. From that moment on, he told himself that when he stepped on to the field, he would become Jason — focused, methodical and destroy anything in his path.

True inauthenticity is living a life where your dreams and ideas are tethered to someone else’s. You don’t allow yourself the chance to show off what you are capable of. It’s the denial of the talents, skills and abilities you bring unto the field. When we allow ourselves to live an inauthentic life, we find we are yielding diminishing returns on our self-efficacy, self-esteem, and self-confidence.

“I [activated] somebody I wanted to be, and I finally became that person, or he became me, or we met at some point.” – Todd Herman

Cultivating alter egos is really about understanding that at your core, there is an unlimited possibility that dwells within the human spirit and the human person. Creating an alter ego is very intentional. It's about deciding who you want to be and who you choose to show up as on the field. It’s about taking your power back and getting the results you want and deserve.

Your alter ego is truly a trusted friend. It’s a special relationship that we develop within ourselves. When your back is against the wall, it shows up to carry you forward. When you need to perform, it helps you to deal with the resistance. Ultimately, our alter egos are the infantry soldiers we need to win the war over negativity, insecurity, and self-doubt.

What’s the gift in all of this? The more alter egos you create to serve you, the more you have to integrate and develop your true self naturally. This isn’t about becoming something you’re not, it’s about bringing out who you are. It’s about remembering something that’s already inside of you, and for some, giving yourself permission to start doing it again.

Questions for self-reflection:

To get started on developing your alter ego, begin by reflecting on the following questions:

Which field of play are most frustrated with and need to focus on?
What are the traits do you want to bring onto the field?
What are the positive traits you admire in other people?
Is there anyone or anything that already embodies those traits right now?
What superpowers do you want to start showing up for you?
What can you use to help activate that, those superhero qualities or those traits out there? What are the artifacts?

With the help of your inner Superman or Superwoman, you can truly achieve anything you want. Now go out, create your own destiny, and seize your glory on the field.

“Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope.” – Bradley Whitford

Austin Fabel 2/25/19 Austin Fabel 2/25/19

Replace Your Ineffective Willpower and Create More Holy Sh*t Moments

It’s common to think of motivation as something you either do or don’t have. Similarly, willpower is viewed as a limited resource within each of us, where we are rendered immobile or unable to continue moving towards our goals if it runs out. These beliefs have largely been spread due to the misinterpretation of scientific studies. However, recent science turns this on its head. Which is great news for anyone struggling to make important changes in their own lives!

Our approach to change typically focuses solely on the alteration of outer behaviors, such as eating healthier or working out more. However, true change happens at a deeper level: The core of our identity and the values with which we associate ourselves. Making changes at this level generates natural and seemingly effortless changes in our lives.

The Fallacy of Willpower and Grit

“You don't have to be pushed. The vision pulls you.” – Steve Jobs

James Fell is an author, science-based motivator, and creator of the website bodyforwife.com. He’s one of the most well-read writers of health and fitness in North America and recently published his book The Holy Sh!t Moment: How Lasting Change Can Happen in an Instant. In it, he offers scientifically-backed arguments for how to create change that oftentimes go against conventional thinking.

James points out that the idea that when people fail to make lasting change it is simply due to a lack of will power is all wrong. He recalls a study where participants were told to arrive hungry, are asked to refrain from eating one of two presented foods, then solve an unsolvable puzzle. The group that was required to restrain from the more difficult food (chocolate) gave up on the puzzle sooner.

The experiment lead to the hypothesize and widely accepted idea that willpower is a limited resource that was constantly drained throughout the day. This idea became known as “Ego Depletion.” In a nut shell, the more situations throughout the day where you must exert willpower the more likely you are to make bad choices at the end of the day. So if you spent your whole day avoiding temptations and bad habits the more likely at the end of the day you would be to give in to these desires and often overcompensate for the day of discipline.

Unfortunately, this hypothesis (and the following studies that supported it) was the result of probability hacking and publication bias – which resulted in an improper focus on statistics and the need to “publish or perish”. Recent analysis of these old studies allowed researchers to come to more accurate conclusions.

NOTE: For those interested in publication bias we cover this topic extensively with Dr. Brian Nosek.

The Power of Suggestion VS. Passion

The concept of ego-depletion has been discovered to have little effect, if any, while the power of suggestion was seen to be incredibly powerful. What the power of suggestions means is that telling a person an activity would energize or de-energize them would actually bring out the described effect. Even if what you told someone the outcome of an action would be was not the normal outcome.

Researchers also discovered that what matters most is the individual’s internal drivers, or passions. Sufficient passion will allow a person to engage in an activity to the point of physiological exhaustion. These passions are often generated from the values associated with our personal identity.

The Identity Value Model of Self-Control

James brings up a 2016 study which suggests the irrelevance of willpower and that attempts to increase willpower have never shown measurable effects. Alternatively, people who engage in activities that directly align with their identity (such as those they are passionate about) are more successful in sustaining and working hard at those activities.

Rage to Master

James recalls a time in his past where he was compelled to leave a well-paying job he didn’t like to pursue writing, something he was passionate about. He worked harder to become a great writer than he ever had before, which is a concept he calls the “Rage to Master”. This happens when you feel you have an innate talent that you must become better at.

This innate talent is viewed as part of your identity, which warrants a deep change to how you behave in the world. He discusses the futile efforts people make to quit smoking. They see instant results if they make the simple change to their mindset from being an “ex-smoker” who still craves cigarettes to being a “non-smoker” who lacks any temptation whatsoever.

Happiness VS. Flourishing

“There's a saying that goes, ‘Inspiration favors the prepared mind.’” – James Fell

Matt asks James what his perspective is regarding people who are passionate about sitting around and watching TV all day. James’ response is that they should look deeper into themselves than their surface. He expects that they’ll find discontent and the desire to get up and do more with their lives. This leads him to the difference between ‘happiness’ and ‘flourishing’.

Happiness is largely a state of mind, but flourishing is what really drives people. It has more to do with your capacities, talents, and callings, then using those to find a purpose in life that contributes to the wellbeing of you and of others. Our purpose changes alongside our identity, oftentimes revealing multiple purposes across a lifetime.

How to Alter Your Core Identity

“I didn't have to struggle with my motivation. It came built-in.” – Chuck Gross

James discusses how epiphanies and other experiences can cause a long-term change in our identity and values, which then spills over into our behavior. While these can be caused by a health scare or a breaking point caused by a culmination of many small problems, he recalls the story of an overweight man, Chuck, who changed his life the day he found out his wife was pregnant.

Chuck had failed to lose weight many times, but the day he found out his wife was pregnant was the day his identity changed from “Not a Father” to “Father”. He valued the idea of playing with his kids, living a long life, and being a high-energy dad who was always there for his kids. These changes in his values came as a direct result from his change in identity.

People are like Onions Too

James refers to the model of personality by Milton Rokeach, a social psychologist, where he observes the layers of human personality. From the outside to our core, they are:

· Behavior <- Beliefs <- Attitudes <- Values <- Identity

Your behavior arises as a result of your identity, so trying to change your behavior will be a long and slow process of suffering if your identity doesn’t change accordingly. While a change in your identity will be followed by appropriate changes in all of the outer layers. Often times this inner change happens in a flash – an epiphany or moment of “Eureka!” These epiphanies cause a powerful shift in your mindset.

Creating Mindset Shifts

“You have to believe that it can happen.” – James Fell

If you’re trying to create a shift in your mindset, then you must realize that it happens all the time. And while a third of the people that experienced a life-changing epiphany weren’t trying to have one, you greatly improve your chances if you try to have one. Then James refers to a concept from Gabriele Oettingen, a psychology professor, called ‘mental contrasting’.

Mental Contrasting

“That is where not just your focus, but your fantasies should lie, which is you imagine breaking through those roadblocks – either going around them or through them.” – James Fell

Mental contrasting involves fantasizing about your dream goal, then deeply analyzing why it is that you haven’t attained that goal yet. But don’t focus on attaining the goal; this virtual reality experience can demotivate you to pursue the goal. Instead, focus on the roadblocks keeping you from your goal so you can discover how to overcome them.

Self-Analysis and Distraction

“We do not know what it is we've been sitting on until the shell cracks.” – T. S. Eliot

For people who are struggling to discover something new in life (such as shifting your mindset), James recommends a process of generating insights descried in a book called ‘The Eureka Factor’. This involves a two-stage process: Analysis and distraction.

Self-analysis, the first stage of the process, involves gathering as much information as you can and asking yourself questions regarding what you would want to do in your life and what’s holding you back. You do this until you get stuck, because the epiphany doesn’t strike in this stage – it strikes in the next stage.

Distraction (or free-association) is the stage where you go for a walk, meditate, pray, or do whatever allows you to get inside your head and free-associate. However, this type of distraction isn’t the kind where you’re listening to a podcast, reading a book, or checking your phone. You must allow your thoughts to meander and collide.

This process is one of creativity, which is a useful skill in every domain of life. James then brings up an issue that often stifles creativity and that’s the desire to be like everyone else and not be viewed as ‘weird’. But you must be prepared to accept a crazy idea if it’s the one that calls out to you and feels overwhelmingly right.

The Mountain of Motivation

Lastly, he compares the motivation of goal attainment to a mountain. If you have zero motivation, then you’re at the base of the mountain, while the peak of the mountain is the ultimate motivation to do all the work with inspired vigor. But if you’re at the base, you don’t just sit there and wait for something to take you to the top – you must start hiking.

Sometimes you have to do uninspired work before you realize the process has meaning to you. Then suddenly, something happens which takes you further up the mountain – this is called a ‘sudden gain in motivation’. These sudden gains in motivation only occur to those who are already engaged in the process.

Small Steps Towards Inner Change

“We talked about the analytical phase – the inspiration favoring the prepared mind. It's possible your mind is already prepared.” – James Fell

James ends our conversation by suggesting laying down to free-associate for five or 10 minutes after you wake up in the morning without looking at your phone. You can go for a walk outside, just leave your phone at home and let your mind wander with itself. You can also meditate or pray – whatever allows you to sit alone with your thoughts in a relaxed state.

Austin Fabel 2/18/19 Austin Fabel 2/18/19

How You Can Succeed Through Uncertainty and Spark Innovation

Many of us go through our lives largely on autopilot, relying mainly on our long held tried-and-true methods of behavior and beliefs. While this may be comfortable to us, what do we do when a new situation arises? What about when we have a problem we’ve never encountered before? In these situations we have to seek out new information and discomfort and the more often we do this on our own, the more comfortable and creative we will become.

Fortunately, (as we have discussed many times on the show) we are not as rigid as some might believe. The power to change is always in our hands. If we’re willing to surrender our obsession with certainty and face risk and new challenges with courage and intention, then an infinite number of possibilities lies ahead of us, forging a path through lands previously thought impassable.

So how can we intentionally step out of our comfort zone and approach new challenges and issues with a creative mind? This week’s guest is here to explain how…

The Imagination Gap and Five Key Elements

“Risk is the will to act on imagination. If you can’t risk something – to try something for a better way – how are you ever going to get out of situations.” – Beth Comstock

Beth Comstock is a business executive with a deep history of leading large companies to success through innovation and new opportunities. Beth is currently a director at Nike, and author of the best-selling book Imagine it Forward - Courage, Creativity, and the Power of Change. In her career, she has mastered creativity, including how to cultivate and apply it.

Beth discusses how our quest for certainty becomes a dead-end. Complete certainty is unattainable and chasing it prevents us from discovering possibilities that exists on paths of risk and creativity. She discusses what she calls “The Imagination Gap”, which is a place where possibility and options for the future go to die when we’re looking for certainty.

Beth advocates taking and seeking necessary risk, the situations which require us to do new things to move forward. She suggests five key elements for generating creativity…

Give yourself permission to try new things in new ways. - The only way to achieve new results is to try new things. If you struggle with this, try an exercise in fear setting to see things more clearly and assess the risks of the action you may be considering.
Everyone must make room for discovery. - If you’re a leader, finding new roads and discovering and experimenting with new ways to do something is not a task you delegate. This is something that leads to tremendous growth and new information. Beth argues this exercise is worth your time no matter where you are in a corporate hierarchy.
Invite conflict and respectful debate from outside perspectives. - Many of us see conflict as something to be avoided. Sure, don’t seek out a scenario where you plan to end up screaming at a co-worker or partner but invite outside views on issues, problems, and welcome spirited debate.
Harness the power of your story, mission, and strategy. - As we’ve discussed before it’s important to create your own personal philosophy and story. Use these as guiding lights when generating creativity but don’t let them handcuff you.
Create a space for experimentation. - Create a space where you can do a lot of experimentation, test and learn from new kinds of partners, new initiatives, seed small projects, and that's a lot of what I ended up speaking to them about, about ways to create accountability, focus on the experiments, be able to take risk and fail in things.

Re-Invention: Get Good at Change and Become Adaptable

“If you’re really rigid, you cannot keep up with the pace and disruptive nature of change.” – Beth Comstock

At the heart of Beth’s philosophy of re-invention is a practice of adaptation. However, more successful people are less likely to change their ways, while those who have nothing to lose are more willing to take huge risks. Which is unfortunate because in the face of technology’s progress towards AI and automation, some of the most important skills one can posses are creativity, strategic thinking, and creative problem-solving.

Her practice of adaptation requires delegating your mind and time to adapting, with a focus on altering your mindset from being fixed to open. Beth’s primary suggestion is to make room for discovery and get out into the world, which provides many benefits:

See new and weird things.
Go to places that challenge and contradict your beliefs.
Learn, ask, connect, and discover patterns.

Going on Threes: She shares her technique of “Going on Threes”, which involves jotting down notes each time she sees something interesting. She simply marks it down the first time she sees it; the second time she asks if it is a coincidence; and the third time she declares it a trend and finds out how to learn more about it.

10% of Your Time for New Things: She urges people to allocate a small amount of their time for trying new things. This can be a simple as driving a new route to work or picking up a magazine you have never read before. Doing something you would never do is a great way to discover a new perspective about the world.

“Open yourself up, go to where things are different or weird, and understand what you can start to learn.” – Beth Comstock

Social Courage and the Power of Small Challenges

“Courage you have to have to connect with others, to open yourself up, to make genuine connections, and to put yourself out there.” – Beth Comstock

Beth shares the story of her personal challenge being an introvert in the word of business, where making connections is oftentimes a critical component for success. She challenged herself with a series of progressively more difficult tasks which would make her more comfortable and familiar connecting to other people, despite how awkward it was.

Her story relates to a common theme in our podcasts: The Power of Small Challenges (such as Rejection Therapy). This is a technique which serves to build up our immunity to discomfort, embarrassment, and rejection all by forcing us to face things which are unfamiliar to us. This is the essence of becoming adaptable.

‘No’ is Often ‘Not Yet’: Beth brings up the notion of “Gatekeepers” in our lives (and our own heads), which are those who prevent us from progressing. They embody the fearful notion of “I don’t want a better way. I feel threatened by a better way or imaginative thinking.” The ‘No’ delivered by the Gatekeeps forces us to either abandon the idea or adapt our approach, try something new, and improve where necessary, which makes it a ‘Not Yet’.

Viewing ‘No’ as ‘Not Yet’ allows for a creative solution to emerge, but there are a few things you must do:

You can’t wait for someone else’s permission to act on your imagination.
Find people who see your vision.
Get feedback, find fallacies, and improve your pitch.
Wait for the right time, if it isn’t now.

Go Boldly into the Unknown: Beth opens her book by discussing a tough time in her life, her divorce. She talks about how she needed to take hold of her own story and create her path. Many of us wait for the perfect time or the perfect situation, but it isn’t going to happen, so she advocates for turning off auto-pilot and just going for it.

She proceeds to discuss the benefits of constraints for creative thinking, where the constraints create a framework within which we have freedom. First, we must ask ourselves, “How can I solve this creatively?” Then, all we must do is start. Wherever you are—just start!

Build Bridges, Not Walls

Many people view themselves as being against others, not personally, but as one team versus another. This mindset creates walls between you and them, which weakens you. The alternative is to bridge the gap between these differences, which allows for a sharing of resources and the creation of a team superior to any individual.

Beth suggests forming a bridge between the New and the Traditional, facilitating communication to ensure everyone is on the same page, maintaining a shared sense of humanity between everyone, and bringing in outsiders with authority and expertise. All of these bring the team together, unified against a shared problem.

Invite in your Critics: Beth then advocates inviting in your critics to help show you where you’re wrong. The best ideas are shared, so don’t attempt to hoard ideas because you want the credit and you’re afraid someone might steal it. By saying, “I need help”, you invite feedback and criticism which will help you address issues you are overlooking and provide new perspectives you wouldn’t uncover yourself.

This harsh advice might help you keep up with competitors or prevent you from pursuing a bad idea. By inviting feedback from your team, you can ensure you’re talking about the same problem; you can reframe the problem and refresh your perspective.

“Tell me something I don’t want to hear, because usually I need to hear it and I probably know it’s true but I’m just avoiding it.” – Beth Comstock

Acknowledge Reality: Many people and teams fall into the trap of viewing things as the way they wish they were instead of how they are. This can prevent them from making changes necessary for their success. Beth illustrates this idea by bringing up people who wear lucky clothes for fear of failure, then blame their superstitions instead of their inadequacies when they don’t succeed.

A lack of honesty will hold you back, while competitors charge forward. Fortunately, inviting feedback and criticism will help illuminate a lot of these fantasies before they have time to cause any damage. They can prevent us from deluding ourselves into thinking that things are the way that we want them to be or the way that they “should” be instead of the way that they really are.

“Am I seeing things that are opportunities that I can actually shape or am I hanging on to something that’s a superstition or just a comfortable way of viewing it and it’s preventing me from going forward.” – Beth Comstock

Small Steps to Become More Creative

In closing, Beth provides a few small steps for us to improve our creativity and urges us to “Just start!” because that’s all it takes.

1. Ask yourself, “What’s one thing I want to move forward on?”

2. Ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?”

3. Then write yourself a permission slip to do it.

Austin Fabel 2/11/19 Austin Fabel 2/11/19

You Know The Habits You Want (Or Don’t) - Here’s Why They Don’t Stick

A lot of us know the actions we need to take to live a better life or to break a bad habit. However, there seems to be a disconnect between being able to recognize what needs to be done and actually doing what needs to be done.

For instance, do you know smoking is bad, yet you don’t quit?

Maybe your doctor prescribed told you to lose a few pounds and you know you need to improve your diet an exercise… but you don’t.

So how do we fix that?

Most people have attempted to start a good behavior or quit a bad one and it just didn’t stick! That leaves them down the conventional road of blaming themselves, where they often say, “This is just how I am” or “I can never change.”

Actually, there are appropriate tools to improve your behavior, but they require a little understanding to know how they work and when to use them.

That’s why we brought in behavior change expert Dr. Sean Young to help us understand just why it’s so hard to follow through on our goals and how we can understand the science of behavior change to maximize our changes of making these goals stick.

The ABC’s of Behavior

“It’s not about changing the person, it’s just about changing the process.” – Dr. Sean Young

Dr. Sean Young, Executive Director of the University of California Institute for Prediction Technology, brings his scientific knowledge of Psychology to the table and applies it to behavior. He has worked with NASA, spoke at the European Parliament (among other forums), and authored ‘Stick With It: A Scientifically Proven Process for Changing Your Life - For Good’', a #1 Wall Street Journal Best-Seller.

He classifies three types of behavior…

Automatic – These are behaviors we aren’t aware we have. Think of the things you do several times each hour but don’t realize it. This could be the habit of interrupting people in conversation or finishing their thoughts before they finish their sentence.
Burning – We are aware of these behaviors, but it feels like we can’t quit them. They often feel like addictions. Think of things like checking your phone first thing every single morning.
Common – These are behaviors we are aware of, but we often can’t stick with them because other things come up. These are the behaviors that are most likely to be the ones we want to change. These include things like running. You may want to go for a run each morning but there’s no chance of you hopping out of bed, running for thirty minutes, and getting back without realizing you even did it.

Not all behaviors are created equal and habits don’t always solve the problem. Understanding the different types of behavior allows you to identify them in yourself and approach them in the best way possible.

Now that we have identified the different types of behaviors we can bucket them and figure out the best way to approach changing them.

SCIENCE: Seven Tools for Behavior Change

“In general, the more of them that you use, the more likely you are to stick with things.” – Dr. Sean Young

Using the acronym S.C.I.E.N.C.E (which we LOVE!), Dr. Young provides the essential toolkit for changing our behavior.

S – Step-ladders: We need to attack large goals by breaking them down into small steps. When you want to make big changes in your life break the goal down into bit sized chunks. This helps you stay motivated and see forward progress consistently.
C – Community: As we’ve touched on before, goals are much easier to accomplish when we have a group or tribe around us with the same goal. Find others who share your goals. If you can find them in person, great! If not, find an inline community and start interacting.
I – Important: This may seem simple but it’s often overlooked by many when trying to achieve goals and change their behaviors. THINK. Why is this important? If you want to stop overeating what does that mean? What will your life look like if you lose 20 pounds? How will others look at you? Why is that important to you? This can be an incredibly powerful source of information.
E – Easy: A lot of times when we have a good habit in our lives and we stop following through, something has changed. Life is constantly changing and how we approach our goals must change with it. When you break down your goals try to plan around making them as easy to accomplish as possible. For instance if you go to the gym and then move further away, change gyms to one closer to your new home. Think, how can I back into this goal and make it easy?
N – Neuro-Hacks: Many believe that their behaviors are “just how they are”. This could not be further from the truth. We need to hack our mindset to reverse this believe. Science has proven that behaviors can be changed and we need to shift our mindset to believe the science.
C – Captivating: Captivating is all about rewarding yourself. Place a light at the end of the tunnel. Is your goal to go one year without smoking? Find something you love, something you truly want but would not provide yourself every day and make this your reward. For instance, if you lose 25 pounds you’re going to treat yourself to a beach trip to show off a new bathing suit.
E – Engrained: If you follow the science, these new behaviors will become engrained in your new routine. Try to make these new behaviors as automatic as possible but it can only happen through time, planning, and hard work.

Now, you may not be able to use all of these tools but the more of these tools you use the better. Dr. Sean Young also notes that some are better than others for specific types of behavior, such as Easy being useful for Types A and B, while Community is most useful for Type C.

Dr. Sean Young elaborates on the idea of Step-ladders as being particularly powerful. Where most self-development theories promote the idea of “small steps”, they often fall short in describing exactly what the means and how to determine what steps to take. He recommends breaking things down into three tiers:

Dreams: These will take three months or more.
Goals: These will take one to three months.
Steps: These will take one week or less.

Which Came First: The Thought or the Behavior

“It’s actually our behavior that resets our mind and gets our mind to change.” – Dr. Sean Young

Conventional wisdom (and motivational speakers) like to encourage ‘Visualization’ as a method of achieving your desired success. This is based on the notion that your behaviors begin in the mind. However, recent research has showed us that this isn’t true. Sticking with a behavior begins with changing your behavior – and the mind will follow.

He recalls a study where two groups were brought in to listen to a series of advertisements. One group was told to nod their heads up and down while listening; the other was told to nod their heads from side to side. The group that nodded their heads up and down agreed with the advertisements more than the other group, suggesting that a physical gesture of approval led to a mental approval.

Next, he recalls a story of a man who had been going through a tough time following a divorce. Wanting a change in his life, he decided to change his password to “4giveher”. Typing this new password every day aided in his overcoming the negative emotions which overwhelmed him. After seeing success with this tactic, he applied the same principle to quitting smoking and it worked exceptionally.

Captivating Rewards for Behavior Change

“Rewards definitely work, but we need figure out which types of rewards are best suited for which individuals and when.” – Dr. Sean Young

Often times, people need some sort of incentive to go out of their way to do something differently. And when motivation is lacking, rewards must lie on the other side of a challenge to encourage anyone to attempt them.

Unfortunately, most ideas of rewards are based on very specific studies done on animals. These studies observe the effect of two of the most powerful rewards: Freedom and feeding. However, this is not necessarily an effective method for every person in every situation. You must determine what type of behavior you’re dealing with to determine a captivating reward and appropriate time to receive it.

Actions for Change

“What’s something that you can do today that will move you toward that dream of accomplishing what you want to continue doing.” – Dr. Sean Young

Dr. Sean Young ends by providing a few steps to implement whenever you’re looking to change your behavior:

1. Determine what type of behavior you’re attempting to change (Automatic, Burning, or Common).

2. Implement as many aspects of SCIENCE as you can to achieve the desired change.

3. Create a calendar of steps and goals to reach your dream behavior.

4. Reflect on your progress, be proud, and reward yourself.

Austin Fabel 2/4/19 Austin Fabel 2/4/19

Solve Any Problem and Get Unstuck with One Question... Will You Ask It?

What if someone told you there’s one question you can ask yourself that will allow you to create the change you need in your life?

Would you be willing to ask it?

Feeling stuck?

If you aren’t now, you probably have in the past.

Whether you want breakthroughs in your professional or personal life—or both—odds are you acknowledge you’re up against various problems and need to get creative about solving them.

And that’s a good first step.

But what if someone told you there’s one question you can ask yourself that will allow you to create the change you need in your life?

Would you be willing to ask it?

We recently sat down and spoke about how to get “unstuck” with Dr. Bernard Roth, the co-founder of the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford.

Dr. Roth is one of the world’s pioneers in robotics and is the primary developer of the Creativity Workshop concept. He’s also the best-selling author of The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life and has contributed to FORTUNE, The New York Times, Fast Company, Business Insider, and more.

So, The Question We All Need to Be Asking Ourselves…

Hold your problem in your mind…

Then, rather than asking yourself how you can solve it, what steps you need to take to achieve resolution, or whose help you need, ask yourself this:

“What would it do for me if I solve this problem?”

Dr. Roth says this is the question we should be asking ourselves any time we feel stuck.

“Just ask yourself ‘What [would it] do for you to solve the problem?’” he says.
“Then work on that as the problem—not the original one.”

He says it’s very easy to execute, and that it’s a no-risk tool. It can also be implemented over and over again.

“If it doesn't work, reframe it again. The way to reframe it is just simple: ‘What would it do for me if I solve this problem?’ That gives you your new problem.”

The Question in Action

Dr. Roth shared multiple examples that demonstrated this question’s power and applicability.

He said he was working with a group in which one woman couldn’t get her boyfriend to stop snoring.

“They had gone through all sorts of medical procedures,” Dr. Roth shared. She was at her wit's end and wanted anything to get him to stop snoring.

When she answered the question “What would it do for you if he stopped snoring?” she said, “I could get a good night's sleep.”

“Well at that moment,” Dr. Roth said, “if she was willing to let go of the snoring issue...the real problem is ‘How do I get a good night's sleep?’”

“Well, there are lots of solutions to that. The minute she reframed the problem from snoring to sleep, the solution space opened up tremendously.”

Dr. Roth gave what he calls “the fun answer” that to get a good night’s sleep she could change boyfriends.

“More seriously,” he suggests, “she could get a good night's sleep by sleeping in another room, by getting earplugs. There are many ways of handling getting a good night's sleep.”

He says this is a simple and trivial example, but it’s really what happens all the time.

We fixate on something and we can’t let it go.

What’s fueling our fixation and narrowing our solution space?

According to Dr. Roth, asking the right questions is a matter of getting to what you really want to get at.

“Now that may be hard for some people because we tend to lie to ourselves,” Dr. Roth says.

Here’s why:

“We don't tell ourselves the truth. We have a certain self-image. It’s very complicated. Basically, if you're open-minded about it and you're willing to let go, it will work.”

But what might get in the way of the question retaining its power?

Well, Dr. Roth says, “People don't even want to let go of the problems. A lot of people hug their problems.

Many of us want to talk to our friends about our problems, which serve as pivotal conversation topics in their lives.

Dr. Roth says, “Really, if you're willing to let go of a problem, it's very easy to get the real solution.”

The Trouble With Reasons

Dr. Roth’s assertions might put you on the defense.

You have a lot of reasons for your problems, and reasons why you haven’t found the right solutions yet.

But Dr. Roth equates reasons with excuses and says, “Reasons are bullshit.”

I initially called this a tongue-in-cheek phrase, but Dr. Roth was quick to correct me:

“I wouldn't it a tongue-in-cheek phrase...I'd call it a definite understanding of the world.”

The only things reasons do, he says, is serve our view of ourselves as reasonable people.

“If I do something nasty and someone says, ‘Why did you do that?’ and I have no reason, then I'm not a reasonable person. If I give them some reason for my doing it, then I'm a reasonable person.”

“The truth is we’re so complex. We have DNA in us that's come back down from the generations back to the cave people. We’re so complex that there's...actually no one cause for anything we do.”

He says “The minute we isolate one thing as the reason we did something, we're lying. Because we're putting weight on something of which there are many different things and we're just rating it in a way that will make us feel good, in terms of our self-image or whatever we’re trying to support.”

A Plug-and-Play Solution

After taking in Dr. Roth’s assertions about reasons, excuses, and human nature, I came to the realization that by substituting the word “reason” with the word “excuse,” we can completely change the context of the statements we’re using to justify our behavior and choices.

“Most people won't use the word ‘excuse,’” says Dr. Roth, “but they’ll use the word ‘reason.’”

What he’s doing by calling it out that way, he says, is making himself conscious of the relationship between excuses and reasons.

“And it does really work. It does really cut down on these nonsense reasons.”

He says it lets you change, and that’s the main advantage to him.

“That’s what I’d like to do in my life. I’d like to be the best Bernie I possibly can, and I’m working on it.”

Disappearing Your Problems

Dr. Roth suggests that by asking the right questions, you can disappear your problems—not just solve them

Here’s what he means by that:

When you ask yourself “What would it do for me if I solve this problem?” and approach that as your new problem, you can forget about your original problem statement.

“It’s gone,” he says. “You don’t need that.”

“You were working on the wrong thing. ‘Oops, I didn't mean to waste all that time.’ Forget about it. Then go on the new thing. When you solve that, it will take care of what you thought you were going to take care of in the first place.”

Effort v. Flow, Force v. Power

Dr. Roth says, “If you think about the things in your life that you're really proud of, usually it's because you got through an obstacle and you did something that was amazing for you.”

But he also suggests that this doesn’t come through force or expending all your energy in a grandiose display of effort.

He says, “I think it is a really good notion to understand in life [that] it's much better to be powerful than forceful.”

“It's different,” he says. “I could be a forceful boss, but I think of myself as a powerful boss because I lead from the bottom and I don't want to force anyone to do anything.”

“I lead by example and I feel very powerful because I know what's going to happen,” whereas if he were forceful, he says he would have to watch his employees very vigilantly.

He says you might get your way with force, but that it lacks elegance and is inherently fatiguing.

How to Live From a Place of Power

Dr. Roth puts it succinctly: Acting from a place of power “has to do with integrity and not being an asshole.”

“In general, people that are assholes try to be powerful”

Force, he says, comes from a negative pushing-around instinct.

“Power,” on the other hand, “comes from just a powerful being”—being yourself, exuding confidence, knowing your level and what’s appropriate for you, and working well in the way that’s appropriate to you.

He says his model is intuitive—it’s about having the confidence that comes with self-honesty and doing what feels right.

Just Do It

Dr. Roth and I also discussed the difference between trying and doing, which he says boils down to how we react to obstacles.

If we’re trying and we encounter an obstacle, we have a good reason for abandoning ship.

If we’re doing, obstacles don’t stop us. We find another way. We persist. We do the thing.

Interested in putting Dr. Roth’s ideas into action?

Here’s his advice:

Don’t use reasons.
If you find yourself losing sleep over a problem, reframe it. Ask yourself, “What would it do for me if I solve this problem?” Treat that as your problem going forward, and let the original problem disappear.
Next time you find yourself doing something, determine whether you’re doing it or trying it. “Decide which one it is and then see what happens.”

Austin Fabel 1/21/19 Austin Fabel 1/21/19

Four Simple Ways To Command Your Attention and Be Instantly More Productive

When thinking about productivity, many of us tend towards questions like “How much money do I make?” or “How much work did I accomplish?” as metrics for measurement. But how do you know when you’ve had enough? This cold, corporate approach seems to miss the mark. A superior alternative to these measures is intentionality: The pre-decision of choosing what you do before you do it.

“The people who feel successful are the ones who do what they set out to do.” – Chris Bailey

When thinking about productivity, many of us tend towards questions like “How much money do I make?” or “How much work did I accomplish?” as metrics for measurement. But how does this help us measure what we actually got done? How we actually feel? This cold, corporate approach seems to miss the mark. A superior alternative to these measures is intentionality: The pre-decision of choosing what you do before you do it.

Intentionality lies at the core of productivity. Chris Bailey, author of ‘The Productivity Project’ and ‘Hyperfocus’, believes we should measure our productivity against our intention. This is what he has to say about having intentions behind our actions, “It’s the wood behind an arrow – we absolutely need it in order to move forward and get important stuff accomplished.”

He proceeds to discuss the benefits associated with having control over our attention. Pointing to how having control over our attention correlates with how satisfied we are with our lives, productivity, creativity, and overall happiness. Then he argues for broadening our perspective of productivity beyond work into every area of our lives.

Here are four tools and tactics for living with intention and becoming more productive than you ever thought possible!

Don’t Manage your Time; Manage Your Attention!

“The space between the things that we’re doing – between the things that we’re focusing on – allows us to focus better on the right things in the first place and live and act with this intentionality.” – Chris Bailey

Most people focus on managing their time, which is an easier and less effective task than managing our attention. But Chris makes the point that we tend to fall short when managing our attention; though this is easy, because our brains contain a novelty-bias which hits us with dopamine every time we switch to something new. This leads to a lack of control over our attention.

However, instead of remaining focused on something at all times, Chris begins to speak to the importance of “deliberate mind-wandering”. He believes this mode of “un-focusing” is as important as focusing. He cites a study that sampled the thoughts of people whose minds were wandering and found that they were thinking about their goals and their future 14x as often as when they were focused.

“Not all who wander are lost.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

He uses an example of cars on a highway to illustrate the importance of mind-wandering. While you may think what allows cars to move forward is their individual speeds, but it’s actually the amount of space between the cars. For our mind, wandering provides three benefits:

· Wandering allows our mind to unearth ideas buried in its depths.

· It allows us to connect our past, present, and future to plan and strategize for what you want.

· It allows our mind and attention to rest and unwind.

Emerge from the Darkness of Distraction

“A moment of attention never exists in isolation. If we’re distracted in each moment, those moments build up to make a life that feels distracted and like we don’t have a clear direction, because we haven’t chosen what we’re focusing on in the first place.” – Chris Bailey

Chris brings up a study which found that people who watched 6 or more hours of news coverage on the Boston marathon bombings were more likely to develop PTSD than someone who was at the bombing, running the marathon, and personally affected by it. It reinforces the finding that the single biggest predictor for fear and anxiety in our lives is how much time we spend watching television talk shows.

On a computer, we get distracted every 40-seconds, while a notification on our phone that completely distracts us does so for 25-minutes. These distractions are understandable given our brain’s previously-mentioned novelty-bias. However, Chris suggests we aren’t just distracted, but over-stimulated. Fortunately, he provides a few methods to tame this distractive-ness.

· Switch from digital to physical. Instead of reading your news online, subscribe to a newspaper and have it delivered to your home.

· Switch your device to greyscale mode to reduce the stimulation it provides.

· Identify the source of your distractions by asking yourself how you feel after using an app.

· Delete your phone’s email app, even for just 12-hours a day.

“People spend 3x more time on the apps that make them the least happy versus the apps that make them the happiest.” – Adam Alter

The Danger and Deception of Busy-ness

When busy-ness doesn’t lead us to accomplish anything of importance, what’s the point of being busy? It’s really no different than an active form of laziness. – Chris Bailey

In our society, people wear busy-ness as a badge of honor, but don’t recognize that being busier doesn’t necessarily correlate with being more productive or efficient. Chris makes a strong point that it isn’t about how much we produce or how busy we are, but it’s about how much we accomplish and how much of that is what we set out to do.

A recent study shows that while we are working on a sleep-deficit, we rank our productivity as being higher than it is. Contrary to the improvement granted from meditation, a sleep-deficit can reduce our productivity by about 60%. This study directly points to the importance of rest, downtime, and contemplative activities (such as meditation or journaling).

Despite the importance, most of us are overcome with guilt when we rest. Chris provides some advice to help minimize the effects of this guilt and increase our productivity.

· Make a list of your daily accomplishments and review them at the end of the week.

· Be intentional with your breaks. Take your break deliberately, instead of on auto-pilot as a mindless activity.

· Set three intentions for each day, week, and year.

“It’s a beautiful thing when you’re working with intention, because you know that whatever you’re doing in that moment is exactly where you need to be.” – Chris Bailey

Recharge your Attention with the Secret Benefits of Rest

The guilt associated with rest and downtime blinds us to the fact that they are huge parts of productivity – they help us focus on the right things and multiply your results. Engaging in habitual activities takes some weight off of our attention and allows our minds to wander; this rest puts us in a mode Chris calls “Scatter-Focus” which brings us more creative insights while making the activity fun. This fun, effortless habit will help you replenish the tank of your attention.

People tend to view meditation as the least-productive thing you can do. However, an active meditation practice improves your working memory by up to 30% so you can process more information and switch between tasks more cleanly. Along with mindfulness, meditation is one of the rare techniques that actually allow you to bring more attention to what you’re doing, while helping you notice when you’re distracted, producing positive wandering, and elevating your mood.

How to Fuel your Attention with Intention

“The state of our attention determines the state of our lives.” – Chris Bailey

Chris Bailey ends with some actionable steps, which you can personalize to work for you then reflect on how they improve your attention and life. He suggests you ask yourself what are one or two things that have resonated with you and try them out; find out how different apps make you feel and if they’re helping or hurting; adjust your technology in a way that improves your productivity; and mind the gaps in your schedule.

Do you enjoy learning about Evidence-Based Growth and how to use proven tactics to improve your life? GREAT! Us too! We release podcast episodes and blog content just like this each and every week! Sign up below to get all the epic content you’ll need and even more!

Austin Fabel 1/14/19 Austin Fabel 1/14/19

Become Anyone You Want With The Science of Successful Habits

Science or personal experience? Which is the best informant of our decisions, especially when it comes to maximizing our potential and living better—whatever that means to us as individuals?

Author, entrepreneur, and photographer James Clear offers an off-the-beaten-path answer to that question that involves holding on to two distinct ideas simultaneously.

Science or personal experience? Which is the best informant of our decisions, especially when it comes to maximizing our potential and living better—whatever that means to us as individuals?

Author, entrepreneur, and photographer James Clear offers an off-the-beaten-path answer to that question that involves holding on to two distinct ideas simultaneously.

“The first,” he says, “is that science and scientific research is the best tool that we have for figuring out what works across a broad range of cases. So in other words, what is true or what is accurate in many different circumstances for a given a topic, rather than just based on like an individual’s opinion or one particular case, or one particular circumstance.”

Then, he says, if you’re going to be a practitioner of ideas, “you have to be willing to accept the fact that you are not the average.”

He says we need to adopt philosophies of self-experimentation.

Why? As he points out, “it's quite possible that a research study will come up with a finding that says the average is X and you, in fact, are Y or Z or something totally different.”

He gives an example:

“The average American family has something like 2.3 kids or something like that, but, of course, there is no single family that actually has to 2.3 kids. It’s impossible to have .3 of a child. So my point here is that you both need to trust the science and trust the evidence that is the best method we have to kind of guide your actions, yet still be willing to go through the trials and the trial and error yourself to try to figure out what works in your individual circumstance.

Clear, whose personal blog jamesclear.com has over 400,000 email subscribers, is also the author of Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones, an instant New York Times bestseller that was released in October 2018.

In his role as author, especially, he says he’s very wary of being a new-age version of someone in the Ivory Tower, just writing about ideas, and his commitment to staying grounded has inspired him to pursue many endeavors including…

- Traveling and photographing his journey around the globe.

- Diving into weigh-lifting and competing.

- Publicly sharing all of his work.

“I feel like all those little ways are kind of methods for me to have my own skin in the game and figure out what actually works for me and not just share some thoughts,” he says, noting that he wants his ideas to be “tested by readers and the audience at large.”

He acknowledges that “the vast majority of our opinions are simply those that have been reinforced through whatever this version of life is that we’ve lived,” saying that of course we have personal evidence for our beliefs—it’s the experiences we’ve had in our lives.

“If things have happened two or three times, that seems like a fairly relevant bit of evidence for why you should believe a particular thing. Of course, two or three instances in the grand scheme of the world was basically nothing.”

He says science “gives us a way to kind of look at a thousand or 10,000 instances of a particular topic or issue and maybe hone in on something that’s a little more robust and accurate,” and that while “you don't want to overweight any single instance”— “at the same time, like I just mentioned, you need to be willing to realize that ultimately you're trying to figure out what works for you.”

Notice and, not or.

“Basically, any one of us could be a billion different things. You could live an infinite number of different lives, but only one of those is actually lived out,” he says.

That seems obvious, but here’s where his take on science and self-experimentation comes in:

“Science gives you a way of whittling that number down and being able to focus on taking guesses that are more sound, more likely to succeed, and hopefully more useful for you.”

Clear says that our initial decisions can set us out on completely different paths.

From there, our habits determine how far we’ll go.

Clear’s bottom line: Decision making and habit creation are two of the pillars of living a great life.

“If you can make good decisions and master the habits related to those, then it’s very hard to not have better outcomes.”

Leveraging Atomic Energy

Clear’s interest in science shines through even in the metaphors he leverages.

He says that in thinking and writing about making good decisions and building better habits, he chose the word atomic because change and improvement need to be small.

“Obviously an atom is like the smallest fundamental unit of a compound, the smallest fundamental unit of a thing.”

Likewise, he says small habits are easy to start and easy to stick with.

He says 1 percent change—atomic change—is most valuable when it’s part of a system of change because it’s like compounding interest.

“Productivity—for example, being slightly more productive and getting 1 percent more done each day or getting an additional task done each afternoon—it doesn't really count for much on any given day, but over the course of a 30-year career, that can be a really big difference.”

Unfortunately, negative thoughts also compound.

“Once you get in the habit of seeing people as a mean, or vindictive, or vengeful, you can see that behavior anywhere,” Clear notes. “You start the spot evidence of it all over the place. That’s where you’re primed to look for.”

So how can we change these habits and avoid getting stuck in a rut, behaviorally or in our heads?

“Habits are a double-edged sword.”

Clear says that’s what makes it “incredibly important to understand how they work, so that you can avoid the dangerous half of the blade.”

“If you know how they work, then you can get them compounding for you rather than against you.”

He gives the example of Team Sky—a British cycling team that was floundering in the early aughts, but went on to take 60 percent of the gold medals available in the 2012 Olympics after implementing a slew of wildly creative changes that were supported by science (from adopting surgeon-approved hand-washing techniques to prevent colds to traveling with the pillows that data said gave them the best night’s sleep).

Clear says, “Small improvements are not just like a cherry on top of your performance, but actually can be the thing that separates you from being mediocre to being truly great.”

“It’s very easy for us to dismiss a small bad choice [like] eating a cheeseburger rather than a salad or something like that, or choosing to not study for 20 minutes rather than sitting down and studying tonight. But it's only a year or two, or five years later that the full impact of those small 1 percent choices and little changes ends up revealing itself.”

He says that true behavior change is identity change and that this change can happen with 1 percent choices that make decisive moments as easy as possible.

“Your actions become evidence for the type of person that you believe that you are.”

So how can you leverage atomic success to become a believer in yourself? Clear has a lot of suggestions and insights that are ripe for practical application.

He points out that it’s hard to get excited about repetitive processes.

He acknowledges that we’re the victims of the 24-hour news cycle we’ve created, saying, “The only things that get covered on the news are events—and events that are newsworthy. So it's only the earthquake or the splitting of the stone that is worthy of talking about.”

“Nobody is going to make a news story about somebody hitting a stone for the 37th time and [it] not happening.”

He says it’s because we’re so focused on events (and disaster) that we get wrapped up in thinking everything is about results and success.

We become blind to the process. “Really,” he says, “it’s always the process that leads to the outcomes.”

Some of his tips for supporting yourself in the process:

Respect the feedback loop. “The hallmark of pretty much any habit,” he says, “is that they don't happen just in a sequence. They happen in a loop. They end up strengthening or weakening themselves depending on the feedback that you’re getting.”

He points out that, “Once you see yourself as religious, it becomes a reason to go back to church every Sunday. Or once you see yourself as studious, it becomes a reason to study again and try to get a good grade in the next test because you got one on the last one and so on.”He challenges people to ask the question, “Does this habit cast a vote for the type of person that I want to become?” and invest their energy accordingly.

Titrate down. Become aware of the power of little habits, and get smaller and smaller until you start experiencing success.

Clear says you should “downscale your habits until they can fit within two minutes.” Why?

“If someone [is] talking about building a habit of going for a run each day, well they might say, ‘Well, I should start small. So let me only run for 10 minutes.’ Actually, even that is still way too big.”

“What we’re talking about here,” he says, “is the habit should be getting your shoes on. So tying your shoes is the only thing you're focused on. Once you get your running shoes on, then you just get out the door and let it go from there. Whether you run or not, whether you actually even take a step, is not the goal.”

Clear knows this works from his own experience.

He shares that in the evening, his wife gets home from work and they might either change into their workout clothes and go to the gym or sit on the couch and watch Office reruns.

“It’s really that brief moment where either we change into our workout clothes or not. That little habit, that decisive moment determines what is going to happen in the next two hours.”

Find your tribe. In addition to recognizing the importance of atomic change and leveraging 2-minute habits, Clear also highlights that from an evolutionary standpoint, it is really important for humans to belong.

“We’re deeply wired to signal to provide indications to the rest of the people around us that, ‘Hey, I'm part of this group too.’”

Of course this can have all sorts of negative implications, but rather than falling in line with whatever’s around you (sometimes the source of the habits you’re trying to change), Clear says, “The powerful punch line is that you need to find a group where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.”

More specifically, Clear says you should seek out a group where your desired behavior is the norm and who you could already be friends with, maybe for some other reason. He gives the example of Nerd Fitness—a site that helps former comic book kids hook up with workout buddies, encouraging people to get creative about networking.

Beyond that, be open and honest about who you are and what you’re after. Keep your new habits small and get ready for big change.

If you enjoyed this…I study strategies for evidence-based growth. Sign up below to get a TON of specific books, resources, and recommendations on being happy and successful.

Matt Bodnar 1/2/19 Matt Bodnar 1/2/19

3 Concrete Strategies for Effortlessly Achieving Your Goals Without Stress & Overwhelm

You know you need to build accountability into your New Year’s resolutions AND find the right people to support you in achieving your biggest and most important goals in 2019.

But odds are, you still don’t have adequate accountability in your life.

In the first two installments of our Elevate 2019 series, we explored the pitfalls of lacking accountability and not surrounding yourself with the right people.

If you read those posts, you know you need to build accountability into your New Year’s resolutions AND find the right people to support you in achieving your biggest and most important goals in 2019.

But odds are, you still don’t have adequate accountability in your life.

And no matter how much you appreciate your family, friends, and co-workers, in thinking about your goals, you might realize that where you are right now isn’t ideal for the transformation you’re after in 2019.

So what’s next?

You know you need accountability.

You know you need to surround yourself with high achievers—people who will help you and push you to create, do, and be more.

But that’s a lot to pull together in the first few weeks of the year.

It sounds like a life overhaul that could lead to a lot of stress and overwhelm.

It might not be sustainable.

Luckily, as I emphasized last week, you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

In fact, the help starts right here.

Get the clarity and confidence to achieve your biggest goals

So many experts I’ve talked to agree: Having ACCOUNTABILITY and surrounding yourself with the RIGHT PEOPLE are the keys to achieving your biggest most audacious goals in 2019

But creating that kind of accountability and finding the right people to motivate, push, support, and celebrate you can seem overwhelming.

Next Thursday January 10th, I am going to be hosting an epic live webinar exclusively for my email subscribers that will give you the clarity, confidence, and accountability you need to crush your goals without stress and overwhelm. You can sign up to register here before the webinar fills up.

If you want to brave the stress and overwhelm yourself and are looking for some strategies, here are a few expert-approved ways to tap into accountability while strengthening supportive relationships in your life.

Join a Mastermind Group

Surely you’ve heard the word “Mastermind” used all over the place – it’s kind of a hip buzzword in personal develop and business right now.

But you probably have the wrong idea of what a TRUE mastermind is. So do most people.

They aren’t a willy-nilly, slap-together group of random people who just met in a Facebook group. They also aren’t a group coaching program led by a guru or coach.

A true Mastermind is a curated peer mentoring group of high achievers that grow, learn, evolve and support one another to achieve their goals. True Mastermind Groups have a rigorously-vetted mix of people, a proven structure for collaboration, and a professional facilitator to manage the process.

A tight group (no more than 10 people or so) of curated, like-minded high achievers and entrepreneurs brought together to pull each other through, give ideas, and offer strategy to help one another.

If you can find a great one, Mastermind Groups are the absolute best way to create accountability and surround yourself with the right people to achieve the big, audacious goals in your life.

Remember the story of Scott Gerber (who I interviewed earlier this year).

Scott started his career by lying about his age while he was in college to get big high-profile clients for his growing video production company, he spent lavishly on business dinners to impress people and stumbled through a series of devastating mistakes that left him nearly bankrupt when his company imploded.

This was a wakeup call for Scott. As he told me in our interview, “I had no one around me of real value, and I don't mean value in the sense of money or connections. I mean people that could’ve helped me in the rough times.”

He had a realization that he needed to surround himself with the right people – and went on to create the Young Entrepreneur’s Council and several other thriving businesses.

Scott knew he needed the right people in his life. “It wasn't to create a sphere of influence around young entrepreneurs,” he says. “It was because I genuinely wanted to have real conversations with people that had similar experiences to me.”

That’s the real power of peer focused mastermind groups (versus guru or coach-lead), but it’s important that everyone in the group is qualified and can bring their own real-world experiences to the party too.

Real Mastermind Groups can short-cut learning curves and help you see your blind spots – because you get input and advice from others who have gone before you.

They can also bring vetted resources and contacts to your life and business. It’s like having the network of the entire group available.

Another huge benefit of being in a true Mastermind group is that it’s an instant support system of people who “get” you. Your group is there to support and encourage you. They’re there to pick you up after big losses and to celebrate with you after big wins.

Scott could have used all of this and more on his own journey – and once he surrounded himself with the right kind of people his life and career transformed seemingly overnight.

Identify and Spend More Time with High Performers

When I talked to Marc Effron, founder and president of the Talent Strategy Group and publisher of Talent Quarterly Magazine, he shared some insights that inspire a simple step toward community and awareness:

Join a professional organization.

He says an important way you can invest in your professional success is “to understand whose opinions are most valued in the environment you work in.”

“It may be that your best friend is a high performer and you should listen to him or her, [or] maybe they're the office slacker and their opinions probably aren't quite as valued.”

Step one, he says, is to identify your high-performing peers.

From there, you can get to know other high-performing leaders at your boss’s level.

And what better venue to do this in than a professional organization—which exists for the purpose of networking and talking shop?

Effron says you should ask yourself, “Who are other high-performing leaders at my boss's level who I would like to get some feedback from?”

Joining a professional organization and multiplying your contacts will give you opportunities to ask questions like “I'm trying to get better at X. Do you have any suggestions for me for how I can do that?”

And, “I'm trying to get even better at my job. I’d love some more input. Can you tell me the few people who are at my level who I should speak with and who might have some great suggestions?”

Effron says you can “grab a cup of coffee with [someone] and say, ‘Look, I'm really trying to get better at what I do. I'm trying to be really open about the fact that there are things I can improve at. Would you have a suggestion for me about something that I could do going forward that would make me more effective?’”

Harness the Power of Your Peers

Jenny Blake, bestselling author and career and business strategist, used to work in Training and Career Development at Google. Now she devotes all her time to her own projects.

One of the strategies she used to make these pivots? Working with accountability buddies or what she calls “friendtors.”

“I find [it] very awkward [to] try and ask a stranger, ‘Will you be my mentor?’” she told me when we talked.

She went on to say, “I’m a big proponent of ‘friendtors,’ people who are at your level, who you can set up shared accountability with and shared support. It’s okay if they don’t know more than you. It’s about checking in, sharing wins, setting up regular calls.”

So what does this actually look like?

Blake says she and one friend do “30, 30, 30 calls.”

“We catch up for 30 minutes and then we’ll do 30 minutes of brainstorming for his business and then 30 minutes for mine.”

She and another friend have accountability email threads. “We just start an email thread at the beginning of the month and we check in about what our goals are and what we’re getting done as we go.”

Call them a “friendtor,” a buddy, or an accountability partner...this person can up your goal-getting game and help you benefit from a consistent sense of community—no matter how small—in 2019.

An idea that brings us full circle to Dr. Sean Young’s lesson last week that “social support and competition and other people” are what really get us to stick with things.”

The most effortless and powerful way to get results

If you’re ready to get started creating the clarity, confidence, and accountability you need to crush your goals without stress and overwhelm in 2019 you don’t have to go it alone.

Remember, accountability and having the right people in your life are the keys to achieving your biggest most audacious goals in 2019 and I will be revealing the most effortless and powerful way to create this in your life in an exclusive live webinar next Thursday, January 10th.

Click here to register now before the webinar fills up.

Austin Fabel 12/31/18 Austin Fabel 12/31/18

The Best of 2018!

It’s been an incredible year here at The Science of Success and to wrap things up we decided to pull together some of our favorite episodes from 2018 into one place!

It’s been an incredible year here at The Science of Success and to wrap things up we decided to pull together some of our favorite episodes from 2018 into one place!

Just pick your desired goal below and let’s get to it!

We’ve interview best-selling authors, psychology experts, high-performance psychologists, mind expanding researchers and much, much more!

No matter what your goals are in 2019 we’ve got the Evidence-Based tools and tactics to get you there. Also, for more on achieving your New Year’s Resolutions using Evidence-Based methods check out our recent posts Here’s Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Won’t Stick and The Critical Missing Piece to Your Successful New Year’s Resolutions.

Let’s dig into it! It’s like a choose your own adventure book with real benefits and no risk!

Heighten Your Focus & Productivity

The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing with Daniel Pink

Daniel “Dan” Pink is the New York Times best-selling author of multiple award winning books and has been named a top 15 business thinker in the world. In this interview we discuss the secrets to perfect timing. There really is a scientifically proven best time to perform the important tasks in life. We dig into these methods and share with you how to time out your perfect day and more!

The Death of Time Management & How You Can Manipulate Time with Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam is one of the world’s most sought after experts on time management. In this interview we dig into how Laura flips the idea of time management on its head to maximize the effectiveness of your time. We are all given the same number of hours in each day it’s how you use them that matters.

We also wrote a summarized blog post of many of Laura’s insights. You can check out Here’s How To Practice Sustainable Time Management and Stretch Out Time here.

Essentialism - Get The Mental Clarity to Pursue What Actually Matters with Greg McKeown

Greg is an international keynote speaker and author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. In this interview we dive into the difference in getting things done versus being “busy”. We share strategies for determining what’s important, eliminating the non-essential, and making execution effortless.

Yield More Influence and Communicate More Effectively

A Beginner’s Guide To Body Language & Nonverbal Communication with Joe Navarro

Joe Navarro spent 25 years at the FBI working as both an agent and a supervisor in the areas of counterintelligence and counterterrorism. Since retiring in 2003 Joe has written several best selling books on human behavior. We discover the easiest starting point for learning the basics you need to know to get started with reading and understanding body language and we dig into the specific tools and strategies you can start using right away to not only decode the body language of others, but also change your own body language to communicate what you want.

Speak and Present With Total Confidence Using These Tactics with Matt Abrahams

Matt Abrahams is a Professor of Strategic Communication for Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business. We dig into the science and the strategies of mastering skills like speaking and presenting, crushing the anxiety that often accompanies thee high stakes moments, and share evidence based strategies for becoming a master communicator.

How You Can Become A Superconnector with Scott Gerber

Scott Gerber is CEO of The Community Company and founder of Young Entrepreneur’s Council. We look at the idea that networking is not about tactics, it’s about a fundamental shift in how you think about interacting with people.

Improve Your Decision Making

Simple Hacks For Thinking Better From Sherlock Holmes to Professional Poker with Maria Konnikova

Maria Konnikova is the author of two New York Times best-sellers Mastermind: How To Think Like Sherlock Holmes and The Confidence Game. How do you create focus and engagement when you’re trying to solve a problem? What are the potential ways that you can improve your memory to supercharge your thinking ability? How can you train your mind to think more effectively about emotion, risk, and uncertainty? We discuss this and much more with our guest Maria Konnikova.

Making Smart Decisions When You Don’t Have All The Facts with Annie Duke

Annie is a professional decision strategists and former professional poker player. What exactly is a good decision? Is that different than a good outcome? We look at this key question - and uncover the wisdom hidden in the reality that these two things might be completely different.

Blindspots, Bias, Billionaires, and Bridgewater with Dr. Adam Grant

Dr. Adam Grant has been Wharton’s top-rated professor for six straight years and has been named a Fortune’s 40 under 40, as well as one of the world’s 10 most influential management speakers. We discuss the relationship between bad ideas and creative genius, the three biggest lessons from studying the most successful hedge fund on earth, and why a complete stranger may often be a better judge of your abilities than you are.

Master Your Emotional Intelligence

Three Dangerous Ideas That Are Putting Our Society At Risk with Dr. Jonathan Haidt

Dr. Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist and professor of ethical leadership at New York University’s Stern School of Business. We discuss several seemingly good ideas that are actually quite dangerous. We start with a look at how the immune system can teach us about the vital importance of being “anti-fragile.” We look at lessons from ancient cultural traditions all the way up to modern psychology research to peel back the layers of our current social dialogue and look at many notions that have permeated our current thinking.

Why The Science of Trait Psychology May Just Predict Everything In Your Life with Dr. Brian R. Little

We go deep on the science of personality. We look at how we’ve moved way beyond the debate of nature vs nurture, we look at the “Myth of Authenticity" and the danger of “just being yourself,” we examine why human wellbeing (aka success) depends on the sustainable pursuit of core projects in our lives!

Expand Your Mind

When the Impossible Becomes Possible - The Secrets of Flow Revealed with Steven Kotler

Steven Kotler is a New York Times bestselling author, an award-winning journalist and the cofounder and director of research of the Flow Genome Project. How do we create flow in our lives, how can we use it as a tool to become 400% more creative and learn skills 200% faster? We dig into this and much more!

This is How You Create Life Changing Moments Starting Right Now with Dan Heath

Dan Heath is a Senior Fellow at Duke University’s CASE Center where he founded the Change Academy. In this episode we explore the power of moments in our lives. Moments are the way we remember our lives, they define us, and yet we don’t have a coherent way of thinking about and understanding them. Can you engineer the defining moments of your life?

Profound Insights in Brain Science Revealed During A Stroke? with Dr. Jill Taylor

Dr. Jill Taylor is a Harvard-trained and published neuroanatomist. She is the bestselling author of her memoir My Stroke Of Insight which recounts her experience and recovery after a severe stroke, which left her unable to walk, read, write, or recall any of her life. Are the two halves of the brain really that different? What is the idea of whole brain thinking? How do you get your brain to do what you want it to do? Can we become more “right brained” or “left brained” if we want to?

Thank you all for an incredible 2018 and we cannot wait to be provide you with even more great interviews, expert guests, and actionable insights in 2019!

You can check out a complete guest list organized by category here and be sure to sign up for our email list below to get great content like this sent directly to you each and every week!

Best,

Matt & Austin