The Science of Success Podcast

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Your Secret to Feeling Powerful In Life's Toughest Moments with Dr. Amy Cuddy

Lace Gilger
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In this episode we discuss the incredibly important thing that everyone (including you!) get’s wrong about presence, we explore how to prime yourself for the best performance in moments of pressure and high stakes situations where other people are watching and judging you. We look at the results from thousands of experiments over the last few decades to uncover the fascinating truth about power and powerlessness. And we share the exact strategy you can use to shift your brain into the mode that allows you to view the world as more friendly, help you feel more creative, and make you into someone who takes action. We dig deep into all this and much more with our guest Dr. Amy Cuddy.  

Dr. Amy Cuddy is an American social psychologist, author, and speaker. She currently lectures on the psychology of leadership and influence at Harvard University and she and her work have won several awards including being named one of “50 Women Who Are Changing The World” by Business Insider. She is the author of the 2015 best-selling book Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges and her 2012 TED talk is the second most viewed talk of all time. Her work has been featured in TIME, Wired, Fast Company, NPR, and countless academic journals.

  • The incredibly important thing that everyone (including you!) get’s wrong about Presence 

  • Presence - what is it and why do you so often misunderstand it?

  • Presence is not a permanent state that you achieve if you go to enough meditation retreats

  • No one can be present all the time, no one can be present all the time

  • Presence is a momentary state - its when you are attuned to and able to comfortably express your authentic best self

  • What is does it mean to be your “authentic best self?"

  • How do you bring your best self to your least likely situation when you’re least likely to be present and most likely to be distracted by your fears?

  • Let yourself off the hook about being your best self and being present all the time - it’s impossible 

  • How does the expression of the "Best Self" interact with the concept of FLOW?

  • Presence is about moments of pressure that come from human interaction - people judging us, high stakes situations throwing us off our games

  • Being focused on the outcome, feeling that you’re being judged, feeling like you’re in a high stakes situation often shuts us off from moments of real presence 

  • When are not present it reveals itself to others - it often triggers “deception queues” in your nonverbal communication 

  • When you lie you’re suppressing the words and emotions around the story - we often might get the words right but we often get the emotions and nonverbal wrong

  • When you are present you become aligned, you become synchronous, you aren’t getting in the WAY of yourself you’re BEING yourself - you believe your story and people hear, feel, and see that in your verbal and nonverbal communication 

  • The people who do the best on Shark Tank are the ones who clearly buy what they are selling - there is no reservation, you can hear their belief and their conviction 

  • When you’re authentic and you bring your best self forward you believe that self - authenticity is a HUGE and KEY piece of this 

  • Synchronous words and nonverbal

    1. You believe your own story

    2. When you’re present you communicate confidence, not arrogance 

  • Arrogance is associated with fragile high self-esteem - confidence is a tool that invites people in - arrogance is the opposite

  • Non-zero-sum power - personal power 

  • People who feel powerful are much more likely to be present 

  • When you look at the results from thousands of experiments over the last few decades - you see a fascinating pattern about power.

  • Feeling powerful affects your feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and physiologies 

  • When you’re in a place of feeling Powerful - you see the world as more friendly, you’re more creative, you’re more likely to take action - you view the world from the “approach” system

  • Why don’t bystanders intervene when they see a clear emergency? 

  • Power lets you EXPAND into situations and TAKE ACTION 

  • The vital difference between what Amy calls PERSONAL POWER and what many people’s traditional understanding of POWER might be.

  • Make peace with the idea of Power - its OK to feel powerful. Power is not just power over others or power over resources - its about feeling that you control your own resources, your own destiny, your own life.

  • How do we lose power? How do we start to feel powerless? 

  • You want to feel powerful - you want other people to feel powerful - power is a HUGE piece of your general wellbeing. As you start to feel less powerful, as you start to feel less control, you begin to flip into the “Inhibition System” 

  • When you start to hide, when you start to make yourself feel small, when you start to feel like you are lesser than, when you start to collapse and contract - do TWO KEY THINGS

  • (1) Notice what TRIGGERED the feeling of powerless 

    1. (2) Start to physically expand, slow down, open up, take some deep expansive breaths. Pausing and slowing down 

  • What makes people feel powerless?

  • Focus on feelings of expansiveness and try to prepare yourself before getting in high-pressure situations 

  • Ways that you can EXPAND and create more Power in your life and in your toughest moments:

  • Slow your speech

    1. Breathe more deeply

    2. Physically expand 

    3. Sit up straight 

    4. Movement 

    5. Carry yourself in an expansive way

    6. Carry yourself with a sense of pride and purpose 

  • Often times “Mind-Body” Interventions are MUCH more effective, especially when we’re anxious, than “Mind-Mind” Interventions

  • If the body is acting like it’s not being threatened, the mind will often follow into the same pattern 

  • In moments of anxiety - remember that you are an animal - and changing your body can often result in changes to your mind 

  • How does Imposter Syndrome play into feelings of powerlessness? 

  • At Harvard Business School 75% to 80% of students feel imposter syndrome. You’re not alone, everyone feels imposter syndrome at some point in their lives 

  • Men often feel that they aren’t capable or able to share their weaknesses, fears, and vulnerabilities 

  • Things that make you feel like an imposter are often things that send social signals that you’re actually less likely to be an imposter 

  • Homework: Before you go into a stressful situation - prepare by using expansive postures, in private, have good posture, carry yourself with a sense of pride, mind your posture. Notice when you slouch and make yourself small. 

  • Homework: Change how you’re holding your phone - sit back and hold your phone up over you

  • Homework: Pay attention to other’s posture. Presence invites presence from others. 

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